Just outside the Sanctuary, a grenade exploded, rattling the occupants. That wasn't so surprising, it was Rapture after all. More surprising were the cries that followed.

"Hello? Hello. HELLOOOO! Won't somebody come fix this BLASTED door!"

"What was that?!" cried Jack.

Yakko sat up, rubbing his head. "That, my good Sir, is the sound of one Lady Smith being, once again, denied entrance to her favorite store, the Gardner Deluxe Modern." He waved his arm, indicating their current location.

"Seriously?" cried Dot over the sound of a woman screaming profanities at the Warner's security system. "I thought she gave up hours ago! Maybe we should've hung up a 'Closed' sign too."

"But I did!" protested Wakko; When the responding gunfire died down, he clarified. "Not on the door, there were too many turrets in the way, so I hung it on one of the turrets. Maybe it fell off?"

"Or she's ignoring it. This is Mrs. Smith after all," mused Yakko. Then he took in Jack's troubled expression and asked "How many turrets did you put out there, Wak?"

Wakko started counting on his fingers, but soon gave up, shrugging his shoulders. "As many as I could fit."

Jack wasn't reassured. This lady had been trying to get in for a while and now she was throwing grenades. "We should get out of here, now! Are there any other exits?" He asked urgently. "What about - DOT! GET AWAY FROM THE DOOR!" He hollered when he saw the toon girl climbing up the gate.

"I was just looking through the peephole," she grumbled as she dropped down from her perch.

"There's a peephole?!"

"Whatcha see, Sis?"

Dot smiled. "Just a silly old bat throwing a hissy fit." Despite Jack's protests, she jumped back up to see more. "She used her last grenade. This gal ain't making any baseball team!" She sniggered, and looked again. "The old lady's stomping off now!" the girl added with a grin. "What's that weird, green, glowy thingy?"

"Huh?"

"The weird green glowy thingy. It appeared in her hand as she turned the corner." Dot reported as she hopped off the door. "Is that a plasma?"

"Plasmid." Wakko corrected, "But I don't know of any green ones." He turned to ask Jack but froze when saw the man had turned white as a sheet. He scooped up each Warner and rushed toward the store entrance, but the turrets were blocking the way.

Jack turned back around, eying each corner of the enclosed space. This was NOT a good place to get pinned down by a Big Daddy. Fighting to stay steady, he asked, "Are there any other ways out of here?"

"There is one other way," the eldest Warner said, as he extracted himself from Jack's grip. "But first," Yakko turned to Wakko and Dot. "Alright campers! Time to pack up!"

"THERE'S NO TIME!" Jack shouted, but Wakko and Dot saluted, and Jack gawked as Wakko proceeded to grab the entirety of his field of view, pulling it into his gag bag. Then Dot was rearranging the debris, presumably returning it to how they found it.

In retrospect, it should have been obvious to Jack that the homey environment was nothing more than a facade. Jack shook off his bafflement, used to the toons' antics at this point. "Now, about that exit?"

The kids pointed to a Little Sister vent on the far wall. Jack sighed in resignation. "That's… okay. Get inside and head toward the frozen tunnel. I'll meet you there." Somehow, he added to himself.

Jack opened his bag to prepare for battle when Dot stopped him. "We'll go. But only if you come too."

"Through the vents?" Jack laughed. "There's no way I can fit in there."

"Sure you can!" countered Yakko.

"How?"

Wakko pulled out a mallet. "LIKE THIS!"

BONK

Jack found himself literally flattened by a giant hammer and gently sculpted into a ball. Smiling sweetly, Dot picked him up. "There, there, this will be quick.." With the Jack-ball in her arms, she dashed into the vent followed by her brothers and Ralph.

They hurried as fast as they could, but halfway through their trip, Dot could feel the ball of Jack fight to unravel. "N-not yet, kid." Dot said, trying to keep the stress out of her voice. "Just a little further." Despite her assurances, the ball in her arms was slowly regaining its size.

Then a light appeared up ahead. It was the vent by the Frozen Tunnel!

Dot sprinted toward the light.

"WAIT! DOT! DON'T!" cried her brothers.

"NO TIME!" Summoning all her strength, Dot threw Jack out into the hallway. The Warners heard a short scream that was cut off by a crashing sound. Yakko, Wakko, and Dot slowly lifted their heads to peek out of the hole. A dizzy but reformed Jack was sitting up atop a splicer who suffered death by collision.

"Oops." Dot cringed as she eyed the fallout. Yakko and Wakko gave her disappointed looks. "Tee-hee," she tittered awkwardly. "...aaaand that's why we always look before we exit, right guys?" She made a point of looking around, checking the ceiling twice, before climbing out to check on Jack.

It took a minute for the dancing stars to clear from Jack's vision. He noticed where he currently was and shook his head in astonishment. His eyes landed on the small hole in the wall, then he looked down at his body, then the hole again. Jack turned to Yakko with a perplexed expression. "How-"

"Don't try to make sense of it," Yakko advised, "You could hurt yourself."

Wakko nodded. "You're okay! Mostly thanks to that guy." Jack then realized what he was sitting on and quickly moved away.

"I'm sorry!" blurted Dot, "I didn't want you to get stuck and-" she stopped as a familiar smell hit her nostrils.

At the sound of crumbling plaster, Jack shouted, "Kids! Get back in the hole! NOW!" The Warners obeyed as a wave of splicers attacked Jack and Ralph.

A few minutes (and dead splicers) later, a Big Daddy strode into the area, carelessly treading over the fresh corpses. It scanned the area with its yellow visor before banging on the vent. The yellow light landed on the man and the flying bot. Ralph was about to open fire on the golem before Jack grabbed it and made a show of slowly backing away from the Bouncer.

Satisfied the area was safe, the Big Daddy began to pound his fist on the vent.

A small voice answered. "Um… nobody's home!"

The Bouncer growled and pounded harder.

A sign on a fishing rod poked out the hole saying "UNOCCUPIED!"

Mister Bubbles smashed the sign and proceeded to pound harder and louder than ever, but there was no response and no Gatherer emerged from the hole.

The Big Daddy let out a sad moan and plodded away, dejected.

When the golem was far enough away, Jack came up to whisper into the hole. "He's gone, you can come out now."

Three very rattled toons fell out, one by one. Jack checked them over. "Are you hurt anywhere?"

Yakko opened his mouth. "WE-" and slapped a hand over his mouth. The eldest Warner pulled an empty jar from his slacks, whispered into it, topped it, and handed it to Jack.

Bemused, Jack opened the jar and nearly dropped it when he heard Yakko's voice. "W-w-we're f-fine, b-b-but our e-ears are r-r-r-ringing."

Jack snorted in laughter. "I was wondering why I heard a telephone ringing." An idea crossed his mind. "I wonder if…" Reminding himself it wouldn't hurt the children, Jack reached down and plucked Yakko's ears from his head.

Yakko stopped vibrating as he looked bewildered at Jack's course of action. The man smiled sheepishly and spoke into the ears. "Hello?"

Comprehension dawned on the toon's face. When Jack gave back the ears, Yakko 'answered' Wakko's ears. The Middle Warner tried to 'answer' Dot's but the flower scrunchie held tight, culminating in the ears getting mixed up among the three toons. As the three Warners asserted themselves, Jack pulled back and addressed the trio. "Stay there. I'll take care of the last disciple and come back for you." With that, he and Ralph set off into the Frozen Tunnel.

They almost reached the end of the hallway when they paused and turned around to see the Warners following close behind. "Hold up." Jack said with a raised hand. "I could've sworn I told you three to stay in the vent just a minute ago." He turned to Ralph. "Didn't I?"

Ralph's response was surprisingly noncommittal.

"Oh, Ralph didn't tell you?" piped in Wakko, and the three jumped into Jack's arms. "We're going to stick together from now on."

Jack gently extracted each kid from his person. "And when was this decided?"

"While you were sleeping."

"And you didn't think I needed to be part of this decision?"

Yakko shrugged. "We would've, but you needed your sleep."

Dot leaned forward, hands on her hips. "What's the problem, anyway?" She glared at the flying robot. "You're letting Ralph go with you. What can he do that we can't?"

Ralph buzzed and beeped defensively.

Wakko sneered in indignation. "Oh yeeeeah?" The middle Warner stretched out his tail and twisted it until it gyrated like helicopter blades. Dot pinched her nose shut, causing her ears to spiral and lift her off the ground. Yakko levitated in a meditation pose, his tail spinning beneath his crossed legs. They rose up into the air until they were level with Ralph. Wakko then blew a raspberry at the drone.

"Impressive," Jack acknowledged as the kids touched back down, "but I'd really feel better knowing you three were safe in the vents."

"What?" The younger Warners fell to the ground. They looked up at Jack with shining eyes. "B-b-but…" Dot's voice hitched as her brother began to whimper like a puppy, "WE WANNA STAY TOGETHER!" They both burst into tears, latching on to Jack's legs.

"Oh nooo!" Yakko tutted. "You got the waterworks! What-ev-er will you do now? Hey!" Yakko yelped as Jack seized the scruff of his neck.

"That's not helpful, Yakko." Jack managed, gritting his teeth.

Yakko crossed his arms. "Didja expect help from me?" The teen shook his head. "You're the one who broke their poor little hearts. You deal with it!"

"I didn't-" The kids were clinging so tightly, Jack doubted he could remove them without taking off his shoes. "You know, why- why would you want to come with me anyway?"

Yakko shrugged. "Gee, I dunno. Maybe for the same reason why you would risk life and limb fighting monsters for the sake of a bunch of vertically impaired pre-adults?" He retorted smartly.

"Be-cause!" Jack hissed, "I refuse to let anyone else die on my watch."

The silence following that statement cut through the noise; Wakko eventually broke it. "Do you… do you wanna talk about it?"

"No." Jack didn't mean to sound so curt. "Not right now," he amended. "Out there is war… it's no place for a child. Even… bulletproof ones." He said pointedly.

"You mean," Wakko started, "it's not because you think we'll drive you crazy?" Jack's answering scowl was so intense it had the Warners back-pedalling.

"Okay." Yakko held out his hands "There's no need to turn this into a full blown dialogue. We had enough of that in the last chapter."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Just to recap," Yakko didn't bother addressing Jack's question, "this is all about protecting the vulnerable youth to the best of one's ability."

"Yes, that's right. I'm glad you get it," replied Jack, who didn't understand why alarm bells were suddenly going off in his mind.

Yakko nodded. "I do get it!" The boy's beaming smile lit up his face. "How about you, sibs?"

"Yup, that's the way!" Wakko nodded eagerly.

"Seniority rules!" Dot chirped.

That was the last thing Jack had expected them to say. Smirking at Jack's confused expression, Yakko continued. "Your actions have inspired us to become responsible elders and protect the vulnerable youth."

Oh, "You want to help me save Little Sisters?"

"Yeah, but we mostly meant protecting you," said Dot.

"Me?!" Jack was baffled. "What are you talking about? I'm older than you."

The Warners burst out laughing. "Aw, honey." Dot crooned, hopping on his lap. "It's plain to see you have very good genes."

"Your DNA ain't bad either," Yakko added cheekily.

Dot pinched Jack's cheek. "But there's absolutely nooo way you're pushing thirty."

"Um… yes, I am only 24." Jack said slowly. "But what does my age have to do with-"

The Warners had set up a movie projector and screen. "Roll the film!" barked Yakko, and his brother began cranking the camera.

The film was called 'Outback Buddy', directed by Weed Melmo in 1929. It was a clip of a small man walking and singing about how happy he was. Just as Jack was wondering the point-

SMASH

"We smashed Outback Buddy!"

"1929?! But that's over thirty years ago!"

"Those are the facts!" the three Warners nodded.

"We are toon kids, because we were drawn that way. And in Hollywood, you're not allowed to age without permission."

Jack groaned into his hands. "Look," he began, "I'm not comfortable with this arrangement, but," he held up a hand, preemptively stopping any celebration, "It's clear to me you would just follow me anyway, so I want you to promise me something."

The three toons gave synchronized, exaggerated nodding.

"Don't start anything with splicers. I can see that with all you guys back together, you've gotten a lot more confident and willing to mess with people. I need you to not do that."

The Warners formed a tight huddle. Jack could hear mutterings of "humma humma humma humma humma."

When they broke the huddle, he asked, "so?"

"Humma humma humma humma humma," they answered back, causing Jack to chuckle.

Yakko elaborated, raising up a hand. "We solemnly promise not to mess with anyone - without your explicit permission." His siblings mimicked his form and repeated the vow.

Jack smiled. "I'll take it!" holding out his hand, he laughed, and he shook all three hands at once.

Together they rounded the corner and beheld the remnants of the last battle. "Looks like a bomb went off here." Remarked Dot, "is that what happened?"

"Pretty much," answered Jack. "Idiot decided to use an exploding canister in a narrow hallway. Got everybody killed."

"How did you get out of there alive?" asked Yakko with a tilt of his head.

Jack pursed his lips, debating on his answer. "...I didn't."

Before Yakko could properly process that, Jack was distracted by Wakko, who was directing Dot to one of the corpses.

Wakko stopped Jack from interfering. "She has to do this to complete her Rapture Survival 101 training!" Wakko pulled out his clipboard. "She only has two things left to do!"

"Two!?" sputtered Dot. "Nu-uh!" She shook her head. "This was the last thing!" Dot protested shrilly.

"Nope!" declared Wakko. "Here it is, in black and white. You need to scavenge a body and hack a machine."

"WHAT!?" Dot shrieked, but quickly reigned in her volume. "But I did hack a machine!" she countered, gesturing to their resident bot.

Yakko 'tsk-ed', and addressed the drone. "Hey Ralph, do you consider yourself a hack job?"

Jack never knew buzzing could sound so offended.

Dot pouted. "It was worth a shot," she grumbled under her breath. The toon girl turned to her current assignment and repressed a shudder. Determined to get the grisly task over with, she pulled gloves over her already gloved hands and crept up to the corpse. This is fine, she told herself, as her trembling fingers rifled through the pockets, remember what Yakko and Wakko said, never look at the face, just the pockets.

Ugh, why does this fella have so many pockets? Is he even a fella? No, don't look! With pockets this big, it had to be a fella. This is so gross. I can feel his bones and the smell… Wait, did I forget my wand! Oh no! I'm sorry, little angel! Wadda I do? Where's Mister-

The next thing Dot knew she was being cradled in Jack's arms with three worried faces staring down at her. She blinked twice. "Did I swoon or something?" she asked with a blush.

"Dot," Jack began slowly, "do you know our names?"

The girl sat up. "Did you forget, Jack? If so, I'm glad you at least remembered my name. Not that I'm surprised. How could anyone forget a face this cute?"

"Spoken as if the three of us didn't have the exact same face." Yakko side-spoke to his brother.

The youngest Warner scoffed. "Believe that falsehood all you want, brother mine." Climbing Jack like a tree, she ignored Wakko's retort of "at least Minnie and Daisy have long eyelashes." She sat on the man's shoulder. "Use this to remember." She pointed to the elder brother. "Yakko yaks, and Wakko-"

"Packs away the snacks?" Jack guessed.

Wakko cheered and Dot smiled. "You do remember! You're okay!" she kissed his cheek before dropping down. Yakko and Wakko sighed with relief.

Jack patted her head. "So are you."

Yakko noticed his sister's puzzled expression and explained. "You were searching the body and you started talking about 'angels', and you even started calling for Mister Bubbles!"

"Yeaaaah," said Wakko, "that's why we pulled you off as fast as we could."

Dot wilted. "Does that mean I didn't pass?" She then realized she was clutching something. The girl slowly opened her palm to reveal several hollow cylinders. "Are these useful?" she asked as she offered them to Jack

"Shell casings," said Jack as he accepted them. "I can make ammunition with these. Thank you, Miss Warner."

Dot beamed. "I passed?" Wakko nodded as she did a victory pirouette on the ice. When she spun too close to the body, Dot froze and stared at it with nostrils flaring.

Jack picked her up. "I think I understand what happened now. Little Sisters use their sense of smell to identify corpses with ADAM. I guess being right on top of it triggered… old habits."

Yakko noted his sister had snapped out of the trance when pulled away from the body. "Let me see?" he asked, reaching for Dot. With his sister in hand, he held Dot over the body; once it looked like she was in a trance he pinched her nose closed, and she became clear-minded again. Yakko did this a few more times before accidentally removing her nose.

"Looks like you're right, Jack," said Yakko, once Dot successfully wrestled her nose back from him. That settled, they moved forward to the entrance to Poseidon Plaza, Wakko and Dot moved to hold Yakko's hands. Once his smile became a little less strained, Yakko nodded to Jack, who opened the door.

They sent Ralph out first to check if the coast was clear. The little robot flew towards the center of the plaza. First, he made sure there were no Big Daddies around. There wasn't much of anyone around except for a lady in a butterfly mask standing behind a railing, smiling sweetly down at a fan serenading her with sonnets.

Ralph got a little too close and the buzzing of his rotors alerted the pair to his presence. Romeo and Butterfly sent him withering glares and Ralph opted to back away slowly. A different splicer wasn't so wise. Butterfly hit him with a Molotov cocktail and he ran away screaming and ablaze.

"Does anyone else want to interrupt date night?" Butterfly snarled to empty air. When no response came, she smiled and instructed her admirer to continue.

\/\/\/

"What's keeping Ralph? It's freezing in here!" Dot whined.

"Hang on. I think I hear him coming now." Jack whispered, gripping his Chicago typewriter. Ralph was flying back as quietly as he was able.

"Hey, Ralph ole-pal! What's happenin'?" Yakko asked.

"Bzshhhhh!"

"Quiet on set?" Yakko repeated, cocking his head.

Jack shouldered his gun. "Let's just follow his lead, quietly," he emphasized.

Ralph herded the group forwards, keeping them in the shadows right up until they came into view of the scene. Unfortunately, neither Ralph nor Jack could stop the Warners from interfering; though the lovers didn't seem to mind the new romantic music and lighting - or the rose petals and wardrobe upgrades - so Jack let it slide.

"Don't do that again," he said firmly when the Warners finished aww-ing at the scene. "There's a bar up ahead we haven't explored yet. Wakko, go check if it's empty."

Wakko detected no signs of life in Sinclair Spirits. So they triggered the automatic doors to open and… nobody moved forward.

"So the guy likes making dancer statues. I get that. But why did he think it was a good idea to put them in a place like this?" Dot commented as they walked past the six plaster statues that decorated the entrance.

"He does make a lousy interior decorator," Wakko agreed, looking around the room. In addition to the six by the entrance, plaster statues were scattered about Sinclair Spirits like patrons frozen in time.

"They definitely detract from the ambiance… or at least the ambiance that was." Yakko said with more than a little melancholy as he looked about the ruined state of the place.

BANG!

Everyone jumped at the sound. "I'm sorry!" Jack apologized, holding a smoking shotgun. "I should have warned you. I just wanted to get that camera."

Wakko looked at the remnants of the once security camera. "We could've hacked that! But, I guess we have more parts now..." He pulled the broken pieces into the gag bag.

Ralph was a little creeped out by the exchange. So he distracted himself by looking around and…. Waaaaaait a second!

Ralph could have sworn that the second statue by the entrance had its right leg extended. But now it was the left leg. He quickly alerted his comrades. "Hmmm…" Yakko scrutinized the statue. "I see what you mean. That leg is very much not right!"

Wakko played the Comic Sting.

Yakko gave Ralph a pat. "Bit corny, but not bad for your first joke. Stick with us and you'll find better material in no time," he said with an encouraging smile.

Ralph was unsatisfied with their response. But Jack had begun to rally the troops, instructing them to search the area for supplies.

Dot gave a dramatic gasp. "You mean to ask three poor innocent children to pillage a bar?"

"Don't make me tell you twice!"

"AYE, AYE, CAP'N!" and the Warners rushed to their tasks. Ralph wondered if he should join them. He could look around but he couldn't pick up or hold anything. Plus, there were already four pairs of hands and eyes set to the tasks. Maybe, he should guard the-

Alright, Ralph may have been a dime-a-dozen security robot, but he had enough processors to know that statues weren't supposed to just disappear! Or change location!

He whirled around and saw to his dismay the Warners and Jack moved to the other side of the room. Ralph hurried up to them as the kids were forcing Jack under a cascade of leaking seawater.

"BUZZ!"

"Not now, Ralph! We're busy!" Dot shouted over Jack's indignant sputtering. Ralph turned around and gasped mechanically. The statues were closing in on them!

Yakko, Wakko, and Dot finally relented in their dousing and Jack stood, soaked to the bone, glaring at them. "Was that…" he gritted, "really necessary?"

"Uhhhhh, yeah!" Yakko insisted. "You just chugged an entire bottle of whiskey!"

The "statues" were forming a ring around them. Ralph couldn't take it. He started blasting.

He was able to drop a few statues before-

Click click click click click click click.

"No more bullets?" said a voice from behind the counter. The siblings were crouched behind Jack, who had his tommy gun locked and loaded. The security bot continued clicking the trigger, as if doing so would cause extra bullets to manifest.

A whole minute passed, and Dot had grown impatient. "QUIET!" The air grew still. She took a big sniff and confidently declared "FALSE ALARM!" They began to relax with the exception of Ralph. Dot glared at the bot. "Would you quit it with the clicking! It's getting on my nerves!" The Warner Brothers exchanged a glance and made a note for later. "There's nobody here," Dot insisted, "I'd have smelled it. The only one here with ADAM is Jack. The rest are dead."

Ralph still didn't stop until Jack reached up and pulled him down. The man was taken aback by the way the robot shook in his grip. Almost as if he were trembling with fear.

The Warners noticed it too. "What's the matta?"

"b-b-buzzbuzzbuzz b-b-buzzbuzz BUZZBuzzbUzz buzzBuZZZZZZ!"

"Did you get any of that?" asked Jack.

"Aww, poor Ralph got spooked by the statues." Wakko said, causing the others to wince in sympathy. The robot seemed to disagree, but Yakko had a determined glint in his eye. "Whatcha doin, Big Bro?" Wakko questioned him.

"Something I've been wanting to do for a looooooong time." The eldest Warner strode up to the nearest statue and wrote 'COHEN SUCKS' on its face.

Jack's jaw dropped as Wakko and Dot eagerly rushed forward to follow their ringleader's example. They gave each statue their own unique makeover of polka dots, stars, rainbows, and other patterns. I feel like I ought to say something Jack thought to himself as he watched Dot apply makeup to a plastered face. He then let himself smile as Wakko drew glasses and a mustache on another. "Keep away from the fallen ones," was all he said in the end.

It was then that Jack noticed a switch behind the bar counter. Curious, he pressed it and a door opened on the other side of the room. The sound of the door opening caught the Warners' attention and they all hurried over to investigate.

On the other side of the door was a stairway leading down to a storage area. Ralph hesitated before following them down into the creepy basement. What could go wrong?

They reached the bottom of the stairs and saw that the basement wasn't very big. It was narrow and flooded to just above Jack's ankles. Yakko pulled out a spyglass and peered toward the end of the hallway. "I spy with my little eye… something hackable."

"I call dibs!" Cried Dot, jumping in the raft Wakko had inflated. The Warner Brothers began to row toward the safe and the Power to the People machine.

"Yo Baby Sister, aren't you gonna help with the rowing?" grunted Wakko.

"Rowing?" Dot snootily examined her manicure. "Hadn't planned on it."

Yakko stopped the boat when he saw another statue seated in a chair, facing the wall as if in time-out. As he stepped out, red marker in hand, he could hear his siblings continue to bicker.

"If you didn't want to do any rowing, you could've pulled out a steam boat or something."

"We can't use steam boats!" Wakko retorted, "Disney would sue!"

Yakko turned the body around and wrote 'YAKKO WAS HERE' on the statue's chest. He noticed Ralph watching his actions. The eldest Warner grinned at Ralph, "not so scary now, eh Ralph?" he asked as he hopped back into the boat.

While the Warners and Jack pushed forward to the end of the hall. Ralph stayed where he was observing the sitting statue.

Maybe the whole thing was a glitch in Ralph's processors. The statue before him seemed perfectly stationary. He moved in for a closer look when suddenly the statue thrust a hook into Ralph's metal face. The robot fell into the water with a loud splash.