Colossus: So Professor, what was it you wanted to see me for?
Professor X: Well Colossus, as you well know, the Xavier institute is experiencing budget cuts so I have made the decision to save money by firing you.
Colossus: What?
Professor X: You're fired
Colossus: What does this mean?
Professor X: It means you're fired.
Colossus: What am I going to do?
Professor X: You could leave my office right now
Colossus: But I-
Professor X: Yes, I suppose I'll add "asks questions" to your list of powers, alongside "being made of metal" which the guy that we fight the most can manipulate, dear God why do I keep letting you types on my team?
Colossus: But you have Wolverine on your team and he is also made of metal
Professor X: Yes and I already fired him for the same reason, you walking George Foreman grill.
Colossus: But Professor, I am very useful member of the X-Men.
Professor X: Oh, well what are some of your other powers besides looking like a rejected Smash Bros boss?
Colossus: I have the strength of ten grizzly bears
Professor X: Oh well in that case I guess you can stay
Colossus: Really?
Professor X: No. Do you realize how many members of this team we have who have super strength and aren't made of the very thing that Magneto controls? Putting you up against Magneto is like putting a monster made of cake up against Kirby, or putting Alan Moore up against a comic company who "definitely" won't scam him this time. It's just embarrassing for all parties involved.
Colossus: But I am very renowned for my strength in mother Russia
Professor X: Right, your "strength"
Colossus: Was that sarcasm?
Professor X: No of course not, your "strength" is a very valuable part of this team, you Ivan Drago wannabe
Colossus:…
Professor X: Ok, let's say we're fighting Magneto, and he's tossing people around left and right, causing massive amounts of destruction, what are you going to do?
Colossus: I will use my strength to crush his puny head like cabbage
Professor X: Yes, you could do that, or Magneto uses his power to manipulate metal, you know, the very thing that you're made of, and crumples you up like a paper ball, or if he's feeling a bit friskier, he turns you into a makeshift buttplug and shoves you up his ass, thus satisfying the fantasies of thousands of fangirls around the world.
Colossus: Well, I have a black belt in karate, so maybe I sneak up behind him and knock him out with quick chop to the neck
Professor X: You're going to karate chop the guy who controls metal with his mind?
Colossus: Yes
Professor X: You, the guy who's bones rattle more than Harrison Ford, are going to get right next to Magneto without him noticing, and karate chop his neck?
Colossus: Correct, my sensei says I am very light on my feet
Professor X: Who taught you again?
Colossus: Cyclops
Professor X: Yes, and you may recall that I fired Cyclops a while ago for being worthless, just as I am firing you right now, also for being worthless.
Colossus: But I have a black belt in karate
Professor X: Yes, and Magneto would use that black belt to floss his teeth after he's finished pulling you apart, or better yet, he strangles himself with it in order to give himself an erection, and then uses you as a fleshlight, which would be the very first time you've done anything helpful for anyone.
Colossus: You know I have a black belt in karate right?
Professor X: Are you actually listening to anything I'm saying or do you just want to brag about your black belt?
Colossus: My black belt objects to that statement
Professor X: You're fired. I'd normally kill you with my mind, but I feel like I'd be putting down the worst Iron Giant cosplayer ever, so I'm just going to tell you to get the fuck out.
Colossus: Ok then
Colossus then gets up and leaves the office
Professor X: You're like Optimus Prime's depressing brother, Optimus Past Your Prime. You look like a rejected character from the Robot Jox porn parody, Robot Cocks.
Professor X: Oh he's gone, I wish he'd heard those.