Disclaimer: I own nothing regarding GWTW

Author's Notes: Thank you for all the reviews and feedback.

Chapter Thirty-Six

Rhett and Scarlett had been sitting on the porch for a while. She had told him all about the children, Careen, Will, her aunts, and just Tara in general. While she was talking about her aunts Rhett saw a way to turn the conversation to Scarlett's mother.

Rhett said, "I don't remember. What happened to your mother?"

"She died from Typhoid Fever the day Beau was born."

"So, when you got home to Tara, you found your mother dead."

"Incredible as it sounds, you abandoning me to go fight in a war that was already lost was not the worst thing that had happened to me that night."

"What else?"

"There wasn't any food, all the slaves had run off except Mammy, Pork, Dilcey, and I had Prissy with me. There wasn't any livestock."

"Had the Yankees taken it?"

"No, it had either been killed to eat or it had wandered off. We eventually found a lot of the livestock in the swamp. We lost some when we were trying to save them from Sherman."

"Wow! That is bad."

"And Pa was crazy."

"Crazy."

"Yeah. He lost touch with reality. He didn't truly know what was going on. He would randomly talk about mother like she was still alive."

"That must have been hard to handle with everything else you were having to deal with."

Scarlett looked at Rhett's face. She was looking for mockery or scorn. There was none. Just an honestly caring face which was almost more than she could handle. Therefore, she replied sharply, "It wasn't as tough as living it up in Europe after the war was over."

Rhett immediately felt anger. He had opened himself up to her and showed her kindness and concern. She had repaid him by mocking him. Rhett reined himself in, he immediately put himself in her place. What would he feel if someone showed him kindness? He would feel weak. He decided to make a joke.

Rhett had laughed the way he did when a fellow businessman that he still needed made a stupid joke. Scarlett's face registered shock. Shock that her words had not started a fight between them. Yes, Rhett and Clarence would definitely talk about this later. Rhett said, "We all have our crosses to bear." Scarlett gave him a small smile. Amazingly he dragged up a memory from when he had proposed. He would have sworn he hadn't remembered anything from that encounter but her saying yes. Sourly, he thought and her refusing to tell him she loved him. He would have to talk to Clarence about that also. Right now, he had to salvage this conversation. He continued, "I know you just want to forget about that year and a half of hell, but I really would like to know what you went through then. At the time we both just wanted to forget about it. Unfortunately, it is not something you will ever forget. Just as I will never forget those first six months after I was disowned. I know you once said it drove you insane for everyone to keep telling you how hungry they were like you could do something about it. Tell me more about your father."

Rhett wanted to know about that time because he now knew that was when Scarlett changed. She changed from the shallow, fun-loving, belle into the hard, brittle, woman he had been married to.

Scarlett stared at Rhett. This man was not the same man she had been married to. She would think about that later. She said, "At the time I thought he had gone crazy because of the death of my mother but I now think my mother's death was just the final blow."

"Go on."

"He had lost everything he had worked so hard for. When he came over from Ireland, he had been a penniless young man. He had made himself into a gentleman, owned a plantation, was wealthy, owned at least a hundred slaves, was respected in the community, and had the love of a good woman. My mother was a Robillard. As a child I always thought it was so romantic that my mother, a Robillard, married an Irish immigrant and moved to the back waters of Georgia. I have since learned there was a scandal, and my mother was running away from it."

"How did you find this out?"

"My Aunt Pauline. In one of her last letters to me before I turned those old bats over to my attorney was a detailed story of how my mother came to marry my father. According to my aunt my mother was very rebellious and often flaunted the proper rules."

"Like what?"

Scarlett smiled and said, "Like not wearing a petticoat." Rhett burst out laughing. Scarlett continued. "It hurt me a great deal to find out that my mother had not been as prim, and proper as she had always led me and my sisters to believe. Of course, Mammy would never say anything bad about my mother therefore for years I thought she was a saint."

"I remember you wanted to be just like your mother."

With a sad smile, Scarlett said, "I wanted to be a great lady. You were always telling me I would never be a great lady and that always hurt me. I didn't show you my hurt just my anger. I could show you my anger."

"Now that is an understatement."

Rhett and Scarlett laughed.

Rhett knew this was the time for an explanation of his words and his behavior. He said, "I kept saying that because I wanted you to come play with me. Be improper with me. I never understood why you were so desperate to make a lot of money even after we had gotten married. In the ten years we were apart, I finally figured it out. At the time money equaled security."

"I found that to be untrue the night Melly died. I had thought up until then that with enough money I would be safe. With Ashley by my side, I would be safe. Neither belief was true. I know now I don't have the temperament for being a great lady. I can't help myself but call out stupid people. I sometimes wonder if Melly has a rebellious bone in her body."

Rhett laughed. He said, "No, she doesn't. That is why she can be a great lady. She is doing what the matrons expect her to do. Unlike us who are doing the opposite of what the matrons want us to do."

Scarlett smiled really big and said, "I do all the time, you do most of the time."

Rhett laughed because she was joking about him turning hypocrite instead of speaking ugly to him about it. He said, "Trust me. I will never do that again for anyone. It cost me too much of my self-worth. Then when she died, and it was all for nothing it was quite the bitter pill to swallow."

With sympathy in her voice, Scarlett said, "I know what you mean. There were so many things I did last time to make other people happy my mother, the matrons, the customers, Frank." Here Scarlett paused and said, "But not you, my children, or Mammy the few people who really loved me."

"Don't you think Miss Melly really loved you?"

"No, not really."

Rhett paused and waited for Scarlett to say more when she didn't, he kindly said, "Tell me the story about your mother."

In their first timeline she would not have told Rhett the story of her mother. She would have thought it would just be something he would use to mock her or make fun of her which was probably true but this Rhett she was going to give him some trust and see what happened. She said, "She fell in love with her cousin, Phillipe. Phillipe was from the poor side of the family. He had come to the United States to make his fortune. It is still up in the air whether he was just a fortune hunter or if he really loved my mother but my grandpere believed he was just a fortune hunter. He banned the happy couple from seeing each other. Grandpere paid Phillipe off. Again, there is debate on whether he took the money and ran or just took the money hoping to make his fortune and come back for my mother. My mother would have waited forever for Phillipe to return. Just as I was waiting forever for Ashley to be able to marry me. Instead, Phillipe got killed in a New Orleans bar. A kind priest wrote my mother and told her of his death. My mother got the letter the day before Pa asked her to marry him. Instead, of going to a convent she went to the back waters of Georgia and stopped living. I have thought about that story for a long time. My mother was distant and remote because she didn't have any love to give, which is fine. The problem is that I thought that was how mothers were supposed to behave with their children – distant and remote."

"I know that is how my mother behaved with me and my siblings except for rare moments when she would show her love. Nonetheless, she kowtowed to Charleston proper society just like everyone else."

"I don't want that relationship with my children anymore. I want to show them love and them to be comfortable showing me love."

"I do too but I don't want to indulge my children to the point of turning them into brats."

"You are certainly going to have your work cut out for you in order to rein yourself in that much."

"You will have to keep me at a healthy level."

Scarlett gave Rhett a sad smile and said, "Let's not talk about it. I don't want to end on a sad note."

"Very well. I will tell you a funny story about Mamie Bart."

With a sour expression on Scarlett's face, she said, "Is this about when she was a madame in New Orleans?"

Rhett smiled his beguiling smile and said, "No, it happened at the National Hotel, and I was there to see it."

"Go on."

"I'm walking into the National. If I had been two minutes later, I would have missed it all."

"Go on."

"So, Mamie is walking across the lobby. She had one of those new dresses with the train in the back." Scarlett put her hands over her mouth. She knew what was coming. Rhett went on, "As you have already figured out Jacob stepped on Mamie's dress."

"It ripped?"

"Did it rip? If Mamie hadn't had such quick reflexes, I would have seen much more of Mamie than I wanted to see."

"Again."

"No, I was never intimate with Mamie."

"Really?"

"Really. A lot of men were." Which made Scarlett giggle. Rhett added, "But I wasn't one of them."

"Go on."

"She had her hands holding up her skirt and she turns and runs for the stairs. She wasn't wearing any pantalets."

Dryly Scarlett said, "They must have ruined the line of her dress."

Rhett and Scarlett burst out laughing. Rhett stood up. He bowed and said, "I shall leave you while you are laughing."

With a smile on her face, Scarlett said, "Goodbye, Rhett."

Scarlett watched him walk down the street. Her only thought was, 'He is so much fun now.'

Later in Rhett's suite he told Clarence about his conversation. They talked about everything that was said. Rhett told Clarence about how he had felt anger when Scarlett had rejected his kindness. Clarence said, "What did you do?"

"Reined myself in. Put myself in her place. I decided that what she had been feeling. She had been feeling weak because of the offered kindness."

"How many times do you think that has happened between you and Scarlett? One of you offers kindness and the other rejects the kindness, because it makes the person feel weak. The other is then hurt because of being slapped in the face after offering kindness."

"Probably fairly often. Probably more often to Scarlett than to me."

"After you left the main bedroom, she probably never offered you kindness or compassion again because she knew she would be rejected."

"After a while, she stopped offering me anything. It was better to remain behind her stoic façade. While at the same time, I was so hurt by her lack of reaction to my actions that I withdrew further from her. It got where we hardly spoke except for me insulting her.

"Towards the end that was the only time you interacted with each other. When you two would throw out barbs at each other."

"Yes. Let's change the subject. I told her I would need her help restraining myself from spoiling my children. She didn't firmly deny that we would have children together again."

"It isn't exactly positive, but neither is it negative."

Rhett was happy that Scarlett hadn't out and out rejected him.