Summary: After her nightmare about Damon, Bella thinks about Elena. Slight Bellena
I sat up and realized I was still sitting at my computer; I looked at the monitor.
I saw the word elenawgfhfhgvbgyjgjbghgdjjjtumhfbvdjngdbfzk Keynesianism was typed in the search bar.
I fell asleep on the keyboard board. I thought as I hit the backspace button.
I stopped at the letter A.
Elena.
I stared at the word for an eternity, then typed in the word's meaning.
Elena a Greek form of Helen. Elena means shining light.
Of course, it does; Elena Gilbert lights up every room she's in.
An absolute joy to behold.
I sound bitter and envious of a girl I barely know.
A Greek form of Helen.
Helen Of Troy, the face that launched a thousand ships.
An elegance that inspired war.
Daughter of Zeus and Leda (or Nemesis), the latter was seduced while the former was in the guise of a swan. She laid two eggs, one containing Polydeuces and the other Helen of Troy.
Stupid Swan girl whose loveliness promoted conflict and discord. Isabella Swan doesn't encourage warfare or blood.
Isabella means God is my oath or beauty.
God is my oath swan or beautiful swan.
Confessing your commitment to an omnipotent being in front of a swan or telling a swan it's beautiful; that's what my name means.
No one would go to war for a brilliant swan, but they would for a coruscating, bright swan girl whose face provoked crusade and extinction.
Beautiful Swan incites peace.
I wouldn't go to war for a shining demi bird God, no matter how beautiful or familiar she felt.
Why did Elena feel so familiar to me?
I knew her before we left Mystic Falls, but it should be Jeremy that feels familiar to me.
Caroline would be the better choice, not the snooty Elena.
And yet...
And yet, her face lives rent-free in my mind.
The squatter.
Her large eyes, hauntingly beautiful as they are, are a nuisance.
So what if she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life?
She's a superficial, self-centered airhead who's nothing but trouble.
A superficial, self-centered airhead who is a lost girl like you.
She had no mother and father to ease her troubles, not even a grandmother.
But that's all I have, a grandmother; at least she was blessed with a little brother.
Renee and Charlie talked about more children but never conceived.
Plus, Elena has a whole support system behind her if she decides to break down.
I don't have that luxury; I must be strong for Gran.
If I unravel, so will my Gran; if something happens to Gran, I'll be alone.
Stupid swan girl who's in the same boat as I don't deserve sympathy.
Stupid swan girl.
Stupid girl.
Stupid.
Stupid.
Stupid.
Stupid girl.
Stupid swan who's in love with a suspected vampire.
Stefan Salvatore, think of Stefan Salvatore.
Even a monster would be better than Elena.