Day 6

Levin Huxley 18, District 1 Male

8 left, and it's only day 6.

I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.

Things will things start to really get intense, and we can't just keep hiding, can't keep running. I came in here as a born killer, as someone who was never afraid, but being in here, seeing all of the bodies drop, hearing the cannons, it feels so real, that fearless nature has become fear, and instead of wanting to run into fights.

I wanted to hide.

I may have been a hitman but that was easy, I had a gun, my true nature hidden from society, and I was almost protected.

Here, no one will protect you, every night I fall asleep worried about what is going to happen to my siblings if I die, what they are doing now. There is money left over but that isn't the point, who I was. I was a bad person I'm worried if I die they will be targeted, that the families of the men I murdered will want revenge.

You can be the sweetest and most harmless person but once you lose someone or once you end a life, you never stay the same, you lose all of your innocence, and you lose a part of yourself.

My siblings kept me from being a monster yet the only way for me to win may be, to be a killer, to be a monster.

I can handle it, I just blink away the guilt and move on. I have so many bodies to my name that it just feels natural but here it's different these aren't rich men or men I get money to kill for these are teenagers.

The ones who are left, all have stories, yet only three alive deserve to live that makes it easier, doesn't it?

No, because for me to win all three need to die, not to mention the brothers of destruction are still alive and going well sadly, Kylian is flying under the radar and Declan who fucking knows, what that boy has done, we heard screeching yesterday Cedric gave himself another concussion from the shock not that I can blame him even I wanted to knock myself out just to drown the sound.

I wanted to run and help her but I knew I couldn't ever had her, he wasn't (or they) weren't showing mercy, and didn't show a heart I hoped it was Harley and Rory as bad as that would be for the tribute they victimised, it would mean there isn't someone else to be concerned about, sadly I don't think it was them.

But the main thing, my main issue is Cedric. I allied with him thinking that he wouldn't make it too far, that I would just lose him, that even if he is cute and endearing and a really funny kid, that being able to lose him, to see him die, would be fine but it isn't. He has broken into my wall and stolen a part of my heart, not in that way but he is like another little brother.

I want to protect and look after him, he deserves victory more than I did, even if I had a rough life at the start I rebuilt it, he tried, he tried to be a good person. Tried to fit in, yet he was always the punching bag, always the joke, he didn't deserve it.

It just angers me that people like Rory and Harley got to roam around their district clearly without being bothered, no one bullied them, no one harassed them even if they deserved it, yet this kid would walk down the street and get harassed, why?

He deserves victory, he is the victor that can change District One for the better. I will be the Victor who makes District One the same, I would want to change it but my victory would show killers only can win, not normal kids, not kids that come in without much knowledge or talent, not the nice guys, my victory will show it's always the bad guy who can win.

We have been tracking the nines for two straight days, they are literal mice, so it doesn't surprise me, that those two are survivors, one second we think we have them and that we can trap them, then they lose us in the maze and by the time we make the towns.

It is late and cold and we know it's better to stay indoors, even though this arena isn't snowing there is a huge drop in temperature at night, as much as we want to try and search every building we know it isn't safe. Kylian can set traps, Rory has fire, it's not worth it, we almost bumped into them once, we can do it again.

"What will you do if you win" I ask.

I startle Cedric who was his little daydream, he tends to do that a lot, just goes into his own little world, sometimes a cannon will boom and I expect him to screech but he doesn't it's like he has no idea.

Poot thing really does live in a fairyland, I wish I did, I wish I could just block the world around us and hide forever. I wish these games would end because I am nervous, it's the final 8 and we are still together, we never spoke about when we will split because deep down I didn't expect him to make it this far, I don't think he did either.

The only one who did believe in him was Jasper, my mentor believed in him and said he was a lot stronger than everyone thinks, but I just thought, he was being nice.

He was right but will he survive a fight with the nines, the twos?

I don't know and if that happens, will I try to save him or just let him die. It isn't in my nature to let someone get hurt I'm too protective sometimes it's why I never wanted to make friends with outsiders, I didn't want anyone else to protect, anyone else I have to look after.

"Fuck man, I haven't even thought about it, if I win I will probably faint thinking this was all some dream because I ain't winning," he says

"You made the final 8, you never know," I say.

I have this weird feeling that today is the day, that either one us will die or we get split, or we should split.

Final 8 is too early but staying together any longer can be dangerous too I'm attached as it is I went on the trains okay if I had to kill him but I never fully prepared myself for it because deep down I thought I wouldn't have to, even I thought I could be dead, I'm confident in my abilities but the kids I'm against that's a whole new world, a whole new level.

"I don't know, get away from my family that's one thing, I was really into art so maybe get some supplies, just help the poor, help kids like that don't fit in I don't want my victory to help the rich or the trainees, I want it to give kids hope" He says

"What about that girl" I say

"I don't know, she was the only girl that spoke to me so I fell in love but looking at now she was doing her job, I want to find love one day if I can be loved everyone said no one would love me that my own parents couldn't, I have so much love to give though, I want to have a family and kids, raise them to be who they want to raise them with love," he says

I can't help myself because this time I do hug him how can I not he is the cutest little thing and even if his awkward, he just pats my back returning the favour.

"At least you can tick this off your bucket list" I chuckle pulling away

"Now I just need to kiss a girl," he says

"You never know," I say nudging his chest maybe if he won but right now as much as we are just hanging like too mates shit is about to get real.

"What about you, since you probably will win" he says, I don't think I will I don't really know who?

Harley and Rory don't want to win so that should make things easier but the others all want to win maybe besides Aurelia, even killing her won't be easy, maybe I am being selfish putting the whole kill Aurelia thing onto Cedric because I don't know if I can handle killing a female, but if we don't kill her she will win. She is the favourite the Capitol Will want a female Victor eventually they have been trying to put in the strongest girls they can find, can Aurelia be that girl.

"Just give the best life for my siblings," I say

"But what about you, you don't do anything nice for yourself do you," he says.

He does have a point once we got money, all of it went to my siblings, I made sure they had food, clothes and everything they needed. I barely got anything for myself, and I didn't worry about myself even if they were growing older it did feel like I had children of my own. Mother said once you have children it doesn't matter about yourself, they are your number one and will always be that.

"I really don't know, I guess either of us would be forced into the centre, I would be like you help the ones who need it most," I say

He just smiles at me "I don't know what's going to happen but if this is the last time we really have to talk I just want to say thank you, for everything," he says

"Hey did isn't the last time but back at the kid, I never thought I would find my best friend here," I say he just smiles at me, as he looks at his compass.

"It feels warmer we are getting closer" he says. We both got a better night's rest yesterday we barricaded the doors and both fell asleep. I trust him, I probably shouldn't since it is the Hunger Games and even if at the start he didn't seem to trust me he did

"If you are getting second thoughts," I say

"She has to die, everyone does, as weird as this sounds I want to know how it feels like, if I want to survive any longer I need a kill, I know you said killing someone with no emotional connection and that killing someone from a distance would be easier, that I can move on but I think killing someone who has meaning to me, that will make me feel guilt, will ensure I feel guilt that I don't become a avoid," he says.

Fuck this kid makes me just want to put him somewhere safe so he can never be hurt or even hurt someone but he really matured even if he does do things that make me laugh, at first I thought his clumsiness and bumping into things were just an act, to make him look like the loveable goofball and try to get more popularity.

It's something Markus would make him do but being with him and getting to know him, he isn't acting, everything about him is genuine, it makes me hate myself more because I was never true to myself. I lied to my sibling's faces more than once, I wonder what they think, I wonder if they hate me, If they will welcome me I haven't done too many bad things.

Yet

But it's final 8 things can change for better or worse

"If you do win you will deserve it" I say

"What happens now, after we kill them, if we kill them" he says. If we do kill the nines then there are 6 left, I'm still worried about attacking the nines, we should just go for Winston but we don't know where he is and we have been tracking the nines for days, they want this fight, they need this fight.

There is so much that can go wrong in this fight but he is right, if we kill the nines then what?

We could take the risk and stay together until the twos die but what if we make the final four neither of us wants to be killed by those whackhead freaks and if they don't want to win and we end up final two?

I can't kill Cedric.

I wouldn't live with myself and neither of us would commit suicide I wouldn't let Cedric do that and finding a way for both of us is not an option the second rebellion only kept the peace for a few years and millions died, it's obvious what needs to happen after we fight the nines and if we both live we have to split.

"We split I don't want to leave you and you're literally the best friend I ever had but we can't stay together," I say

"You too, let's do this I guess," he says. I can hear the fear in his voice and I'm scared too, anything can happen in these games.

We get ready to walk out as I open the door Cedric bumps into my back "What's wrong" He says I just stare at the ground

"The ground is wet" I mumble

"Rain," he says

That's when I see the familiar dark-haired boy from two in the distance as he just waves at us next second something flies from his hand.

"Cedric run" I yell grabbing his hand and we do as the fire starts spreading as it erupts all of us fuck, fuck.

I knew I would die but I didn't think I would die from fire, I was relieved when I saw everything was fireproof means the freaks can't just burn the whole arena but of course, some crazy son of a bitch had to send them gasoline we keep running as Cedric just screams a knife lodging into his knee.

I see Harley on top of a roof as he just salutes at me and I get ready to help him up as another knife flies at me.

I just yell in pain when the fire hits my arm separating Cedric and me as he just yells when part of his pants catches fire they aren't trying to kill us.

They are trying to split us up.

The fire spread even more as the smoke started to get in my lungs the fire is only blocking us to each other but there are pathways to the maze, pathways to safety but in opposite directions.

"Just run Ced I will find you" I say he just looks at me ducking another knife.

"Run boys before the reapers capture you" Harley screams from wherever he is I don't even know where Rory is he just disappeared within one second

"You will find me," Cedric says

"I promise," I say we both take off running as the fire keeps blazing but no knives get thrown, they just wanted to split us up as I Run into the maze I sprint as far as I can I don't even have the map as I just slip over in exhaustion.

I need to go back to find him the fire won't last too long but then when I feel a parachute hit my leg I grab it.

'You have to let him go it's the only way for either of you to have the mindset to win-J'

I see another map I'm worried I'm still being hunted but they just wanted us to split.

Jasper is right as much as we are close, as much as we helped each other being with each other it makes us confused I don't want to kill him, he wants to kill me and him being with me I will try to protect him.

We need to be split it's the only option but being alone that scares me.

Declan Callen 18, District 9 Male

I just stared at my hands still picturing the blood on them, seeing the bruises, the feeling of it. I washed the blood off and got rid of all the blood soaking my clothes yet all night I couldn't stop staring at my hands.

I wanted to feel something, guilt, regret even confusion.

Yet I feel nothing

Nothing at all, there is just like this numbness. I should be scared, in that moment I felt this power, this enjoyment I never have had before. I wanted to hear her scream, I wanted to make her suffer. I was just caught in the moment and didn't realise the consequences for my actions.

After I killed her, I wanted so bad to feel this guilt but I just couldn't then when Aurelia tried to leave me all the hurt and anger came crashing back, and I felt human again. Killing it made me snap out of reality, I felt numb and didn't feel my emotions and that's what I truly want, I just want to switch everything off but I can't because even though I don't Care what I did to Mabel if I do that again I might be vulnerable, I still feel vulnerable and that could get me killed.

I have lost it, I know that even now all I want is more blood on my hands, but Aurelia is keeping me from losing it. I only lost it at Mabel because Aurelia wasn't there but what type of brother am I?

I left my little sister to fight a boy stronger and older than her who probably should have killed her but clearly was holding back, now I have her tied up and have been treating her like a prisoner and I hate myself for it yet I don't want to let her go.

I'm the brother from hell and she is the sister I don't deserve, no one deserves her. She deserves the whole world yet I just can't let her go she hates me, and even now she is scared and I hate her for hating me. This is her fault after all if she just did what I said, if she killed Mabel then I wouldn't have had to lose control by killing a child.

But I wanted that kill.

And want more kills but at the same time as much as I don't show it I love Aurelia. I just don't know how to love. Xander said I need to set her free and that if I really loved her I would let her but keeping her shows her my love. I need to protect her and I need my human side, I'm scared of what I will become if she leaves me because I know any small bit of humanity I have left is gone.

I killed a 14-year-old girl with my bare hands and I feel no remorse, I felt nothing. I'm already far gone, already broken but Aurelia is stopping me from completely losing it. I need to protect her, I need her to win but I can't let her know that or Do I want her to die?

I don't even know what to think right now, what to feel my mind is all over the place.

I just slam my hand on the ground as she just jumps next to me, she hasn't spoken to me all night I can't blame her, she hates me, she fears me and it's too late to make it up to her.

This is the right thing to do, hold her hostage. It ensures she won't run, and it ensures that I can protect her but then what?

I don't know, my mind is all over the place do I want to live or do I want to die, do I want Aurelia to live?

Or do I want her to die?

I really don't know, all I know is I can't lose her anymore, if I die, she needs to die too, if I lose her I won't handle it. I'm already on the edge maybe I'm already gone but looking after Aurelia is the only thing that is keeping me from going on a murderous rampage right now.

I want everyone dead and if I lose my sanity I'm as good as dead, no this needs to happen I need to keep her with me then I will kill us both it's the only option.

I won't be able to live without her not now before the games I was barely hanging on, but after killing someone so brutally without my medication I just can't handle living anymore if I lose Aurelia there is no point living but if she leaves me then I will become a monster and if that kills me so be it.

Maybe I should just let her go and I kill everyone else, give her the best chance to live.

I want to kill

I want to torture

And the scary thing is that it didn't scare me when I killed Mabel I enjoyed every second of it hearing her screams, her cries, feeling her flesh and bones.

And that isn't normal

"Is it normal to enjoy killing, to enjoy getting the power from it?" I say Aurelia looks stunned I spoke, the only time she spoke to me was to ask to go to the toilet and after I heard her try to escape I had to stop her.

I slammed her head onto the toilet and almost cracked her skull the scary thing is I wanted to keep going, but I pulled away lucky I had the medicine then locked myself in a storage room and lost it until I came back a few hours later.

I don't know how to handle this rage

"No it's not, you need help Declan," she says

"Does it look like I can see a fucking shrink here" I yell. She just stares at me with no emotion, no nothing her face is almost soulless, almost void of any emotion.

You can't fix what's broken and we are both broken differently.

"You killed a little girl," she says

"BECAUSE OF YOU" I yell just swinging my fist at her nose but she doesn't flinch, like she is used to pain.

"You attacked her at the start don't put this on me you could have helped me fight Winston I attacked him to save you, don't you understand I was willing to hurt myself for you and what did you do leave me to kill a little girl so if you want to kill me go ahead" she yells.

This is the first time she has really raised her voice, my precious timid little sister is growing a spine but she is strong, she is the strongest girl I know.

I'm a fucked up piece of shit and after everything she has been through she is still the sweet girl I should just let her go, I know after what I did and how I have treated her she won't want to stay with me, I don't deserve her, I don't deserve anyone.

"I don't want to kill you Aurelia, I don't really know what I want" I say

"Do you feel guilt?" she asks

"No I enjoyed it, you don't know how satisfying it is, her screams, her begging I felt powerful," I say.

I always enjoyed the power of being the leader of the outlaws. I was invincible I was able to hold back because of my medication, but without it brought out the monster inside me.

She just looks at me flinching "If you keep going you won't be able to recover, look at Xander," she says

"Xander is a weak piece of shit," I say insulting my mentor isn't the best idea but he was he let everything get to him and he ended up becoming someone he can barely look at anymore and even if his trying I know he can never be fixed.

"Wow Declan wow, you really are digging yourself a grave you know Xander did everything to help you, he saw the red flags but you didn't listen you thought you were strong when you aren't" she says. I just slap her again but she doesn't do anything it's like she is use to it of course she would be she was a prisoner for 10 years.

I just look at her when I see something outside something orange as I run to the window I see smoke in the distance far away, we have stayed here all night but this must be a warning.

"What is it," Aurelia asks

"There is a fire in this town it isn't close though," I say

"That means Rory and Harley are there, we have to leave" she says

"What if they see us, no we stay here another night I gave us time and the capital enjoy a hostage situation," I say

"This isn't a hostage situation you are making yourself look like a villain who ties up their own sister and hurts her" she says

"I lost my sister 10 years ago, you aren't my sister," I say.

She just looks away I need to treat her like this, there is no other option, she needs to hate me, it's the only way to help her but I know I can't control my emotions right now, it change with the wind.

I just put a hand through my short hair expecting a cannon but there hasn't been one. I want to attack Winston but at the same time I don't trust Aurelia, she will find a way to escape and I can't let that happen if I lose her I lose every bit of sanity I have left and I can't walk around with her tied up either, it makes us sitting ducks.

"So what we just wait in here when a fire-burning maniac is going on a rampage" she yells

"It didn't kill anyone and your Harley's dream girl, he won't hurt you with fire," I say. She is right though we should run but I don't want to risk it not yet I'm not in the right mind state I will get us both killed.

"You don't know that," she says

"I'm in charge here, so just shut up or I will gag you," I say. She just looks away, struggling with the rope as I just go back to sitting next to her.

"Are you thirsty?" I say just pulling out her drink bottle, she just shakes her head and I just sigh.

"I'm trying to help you here Aurelia," I say

"Then let me go or at least untie me and we can work things out," she says.

I'm able to say something but then I just jump up when I hear the door slam open I just bring my hammer out as Winston lunges at me, fuck I forgot to lock the door but it doesn't matter now I just block his swing.

"You monster" he yells clearly he thinks going for revenge is his best idea.

"She was always going to die it's the Hunger Games kid" I say. He swings at me again, he is frazzled and upset, his precious district partner died but she was weak and pathetic I don't regret a thing, I would kill her again.

"Not the way you did it, they told me what you did you're a monster," he yells. I just growl at him when his cleaver slices my neck. I barely miss the cut of my throat.

"Declan let me help you" Aurelia yells

"You tied your own sister up what sort of sick fuck head are you," He says I just growl at him but he is right I am a sick fuck head, I don't deserve Aurelia I don't deserve anything.

"Keep her out of this it's between you and me," I say

"Not arguing that, but you do realise I'm going to make you both suffer for what you did, guilty by association, she isn't innocent in this either" he growls. I should let her go, but I don't I'm not scared of this dweeth I can kill him our weapons clang against each other again as he just ducks under me slicing my stomach with his cleaver. I back away slightly just smashing my hammer in his knees as he backs up in pain but this kid is stronger, a lot stronger than I expected. Our weapons meet again and I just duck under his arm shouldering him in the stomach then taking out his legs. I just slam my boot on his stomach then I kick him square in the ribs.

He winces as he plunges his cleaver into my knee and I growl in pain, he just uses that to tackle me to the ground as we roll over each other. I just slam my head into his, as he spits blood right into my mouth, that makes me angry, the blood makes me thirsty for more.

I just throw him off me instead of lunging for my hammer I lunge at him knife in hand he doesn't see it coming as I dig it in his stomach then I punch him in the head but he is determined to not die as I feel his cleaver stab me in the back a burst of pain, I feel pain.

It means I'm still human

Who am I kidding I have always been human barely though

I use that pain and that determination to just fling my weight on him as we both go crashing down. I use my knife to stab the hand with the cleaver and he just screams in agony, I just get his hand caught on the wooden floor I force my weight down on him as I swing my fist at his nose grabbing his own weapon. He tries to fight, tries to bite at me, to claw at my face but at the end of the day I am too strong

"Say hi to Mabel for me," I say

"Go to hell" he spits

"I'm already there," I say then I just bring his cleaver plunging it in his eye. He screams in pain again and for some reason, a huge smile spreads on my face. I just watch him scream and claw as I take the cleaver out plunging it in his face over and over again I don't even realise the cannon goes as I begin to stab the wooden floor as I just stop.

I just stare at the body wiping the blood from my face once again I feel nothing, no guilt, no regret this isn't normal but I just close my eyes for a second but enjoy every second of it. I know I'm becoming a monster but I was born one it took losing my sister to unleash him.

My sister

I just jump off the body forgetting she watched the entire thing but instead, all I see are broken pieces of rope.

"Aurelia" I yell panic spreads me as I run to the window it's smashed open throughout the entire fight I didn't hear her smash the window open.

Fuck, I can't lose her I need her my sanity needs her I just jump out of the window not caring I'm soaked head to toe in blood, not caring I don't have a weapon but I can't see her,

No, this can't be happening she can't have left me that bitch, I just yell in a fit of rage as a canister hits my head.

"Fuck off" I yell

My sister left me and abandoned me again just like she left me ten years ago yet this time I needed her the most.

I hate her

I hate her so much I wish she would die.

I just grabbed the canister found a change of clothes, a backpack and another hammer after everything I had done and said Xander is still willing to help me.

'There is no saving you now but you can't look for her it will hold you back, I know deep in your heart you care for her setting her free is the only option but it's too late to save you, just be the monster you were born to be but let your sister go, by the way you are the weak piece of shit- X'

He is right I don't hate Aurelia I love her she doesn't need me and I'm too far gone I just have to be the monster I was raised to be.

Deaths

8th: Winston Connors, District 10 Male- Killed By Declan Callen, District 9 Male