"Really what you two do, I can never understand, how has he gotten so weak and injured again, you should stop duelling. I would have complained to Headmaster but he informed me that you two will be taking lessons from him, so I should be ready for you two," said Poppy as she put a goblet full of potion in Lily's mouth. James was sleeping in the next bed.

Though they had successfully hidden all significant injuries, still he was not all okay thus they had to bring him here and Lily admitted Lily too.

"Dumbledore said that?" asked Lily.

"Yes," sighed Poppy pushing a goblet of Potin in James' mouth. "He also asked you two to meet him in his office once you both have healed."

"Can we meet them now?" asked Sirius.

"No, you can meet them in the evening only," said Poppy. "Out now."

"It seems we both will break the record of spending most time in the hospital wing," said James in a weak voice from his bed.

"It looks so," said Lily. "Luckily, it's Sunday so we didn't miss any classes."

"Luckily? That's bad. I would have given anything to avoid classes these days," frowned James.

"Exams are near, Potter. How can you think of bunking classes?" Lily shook her head.

"We are only revising concepts now, Evans. I don't need to revisit those things which I already know,"

"You are arrogant. We all need revision, it's the most important weapon against exams,"

"It's March, Lils, exams are months away."

Lily felt a pang and bit her lips, they all had received a letter about James' parents' declining health from Marl's mother, it was written that both of them were now very very weak and were unconscious for half the time. She has asked James to visit his parents after getting permission from Dumbledore.

Also, the six months were ending now, so Lily knew that any day the bad news would come, she turned to look at James who too had realized that six months were coming to an end.

"I will be with you James, until the very end," she said to him, he turned to look at her and smiled.

"Thanks for saving my life,"

"I would never let anything happen to you and besides you protected me from his spell too, if it wasn't for you we would have been dead,"

"What happened there do you know, after we left?"

"It's all in Daily Prophet today, there was not much damage, two death eaters were killed and four Aurors and some other people were badly injured. Dumbledore arrived there just after that and Voldemort flew away," Lily told him. "They're right as long as we have Dumbledore our side can't be defeated."

James lifted his head a little and looked and found that only they both were in the hospital, "I saw another memory and it's bad news, I have to talk to Dumbledore soon but I am not in the state to walk up to his office."

"What it is?" asked Lily worried.

"Not here, I can't risk it here, I will tell you later," said James looking up at the ceiling. Lily wished she could be in his bed and hold him.

James was asleep when their friends came, Sirius was angry for not meeting James awake, they talked for half an hour and then left.

Lily got up from her bed and sat next to James, seeing him sleeping peacefully, though looking ill, she remembered that night when she thought that was their last night but here they were safe for the moment.

It was nearly night, both of them had eaten food provided by Poppy and Lily had sneaked back to James' bed, who was complaining that his entire body still ached, and his shoulder killed him. Poppy has told him it will recover soon.

They were alone for barely five minutes when the door opened and Dumbledore walked in closing the door with a flick of his wand.

"Help me up," groaned James, and Lily helped him sit. "Professor I have been wanting to meet you badly since morning."

"Same here," Dumbledore smiled at him.

"You aren't angry at us?" asked Lily.

"At least you both have decided to remain here and that's enough for me because I assume that if I will stop James then he might quit the school,"

"Yeah, I have thought about it a lot," chuckled James weakly before looking at Dumbledore's injured arm and gasping and then looking up at him sadly. "Professor, you wore the ring. Didn't you?"

Dumbledore gave him a sad smile and nodded.

"No," gasped James and he lunged forward to hug the professor. "Not you too."

Lily was shocked and confused as she saw Dumbledore pat James' back.

"It's life, James, we can't live forever, death is inevitable, it's a perfect and beautiful closure to our beautiful journey."

"But, how could you? I saw him put a curse on the ring last night, a deadly curse."

"I was lucky to get extra duration as I still have a few tasks left," said Dumbledore.

"How long do you have?" asked James.

"Oh! I still have a long time, about till September, I guess," smiled Dumbledore. James was about to do something. "Don't worry about an old man James."

"It will be hard without you. You are my hero, our hero. We will be nothing without you, we can never win without you," said James sadly.

"I am flattered James that you see me as your hero. But you will still be you without me, James. And we all will win one day because love, truth, and light always win against hatred, lies, and darkness," Dumbledore told him. "I am here regarding that."

"What?" asked James and Lily.

"I suppose, I can trust you Lily with what we are going to talk about, but then I guess, James, must have told you everything about his dreams?"

"Yes, I have, but no one apart from the three of us knows about it," James informed him.

"I know that when you travel in the future you don't clearly remember everything but you do remember that you traveled to the future. So, my question is have you ever travelled to the future?" asked the old man, x-raying James. "Even if by mistake."

James looked at Lily and then nodded, "It was an accident, I don't remember much. Why?"

Lily noticed a twinkle in Dumbledore's eye.

"And what's your animagus form and Patronus?"

"A stag," James replied.

"Do you know that many people call a stag, 'The King Of Jungle'?"

"Yeah, I have heard about it, they are considered as leaders and protectors of of all other creatures," pipped in Lily.

"But I thought that Lion was the king of the forest," said James.

"There are different myths and sayings," explained Lily.

"Correct, and also did you know that Stags are enemies of serpents?" asked Dumbledore.

James shook his head and Lily nodded.

"Weren't you paying attention when Mary was going on about our patronuses and about what each animal means?" frowned Lily.

"She went on for hours, I got bored and was thinking of. " James trailed off and turned red.

"Of fake proposing me," Lily rolled her eyes.

"Yeah and about quidditch," said James but when he saw the look on Lily's face he added. "And the fact that we're soulmates."

"Mary will kill if she finds out you ignored her lesson," Lily shook her head.

Dumbledore chuckled at the bickering couple.

"As I was saying, according to myths and folks, Stags are enemies of serpents and, therefore, a protector of light and brightness. They are not fond of snakes. When a stag finds a snake hole, it will spit water down into it, draw the snake out with its breath, and then trample it to death. If the stag is old or infirm, it swallows the snake, drinking copious amounts of water to overcome the poison, and then it feels much better.
Deer in bestiaries are associated with Christ, since when running they are said to run to 'Christ, the true spring'. They also trample upon their enemy, the snake, who represents the Devil."

"Shit, I should have used Stag instead of mongoose," cursed James under the breath, Lily rolled her eyes and tried to hide her smile.

"Patronuses are beautiful things," commented Dumbledore. "They show the true deep nature. A deer has a great sense of kindness, gentleness and above all, compassion, which are all in you, Lily."

"Not to forget extrasensory intuition and perceptions, as well as speed in the performances, ease of speech and sociability, has a great capacity to give love and understanding," added James winking at Lily

(A/N: 2020/05/09/deer-the-kings-of-the-forest/ Go check this page for info regarding stags and deers.)

"That's all I needed to know, and now I know that you both are busy but I would want to continue our lessons from next week," said Dumbledore and a big smile appeared on James' and Lily's faces. "Also, your Aunt wrote to me this evening, your parents would like you to visit them tomorrow, so you come to my office tomorrow at 5 and I will send you to St. Mungo's."

Dumbledore didn't want to put James in worry, the boy already had enough on his plate, but he did drop the hint to them, and could have seen that Lily might have been able to catch on to it.

When James finally told the other threes about how he was injured and what he had been doing, Mary and Marls were shocked and Marls scolded James and Lily too for a good hour they had come around by the end of the day on the condition that they will be allowed to help too but it has resulted in Sirius being angry with James for not involving him in Thanatos business and hiding things.

James who has been already going through a lot didn't try as hard as he eventually does with Sirius and that has resulted in Sirius' foul mood regarding James. And the fact that Remus and Pete knew before Sirius and that James had saved Snape didn't help the situation.

James felt bad for not being on good terms with Sirius as his usual small prank and making fun out of any situation ended with no Sirius to support him, so he instead turned to Lily, who enjoyed pranks and felt that James needed to make up with Sirius by apologizing properly as she could easily tell that she wasn't a good companion when it comes to making fun comments now and then.

"James you aren't putting effort, just go and talk to him, it's clear you miss him and he misses you," she said to him when they were in Herbology.

"I tried enough, I told him that I did it to protect him and because this job isn't what he likes, he is more action and less patience type of guy and he got angry at me," James told her while planting Alihotsy and taking notes on how to grow them.

"Wonder why," Lily rolled her eyes.

"Don't worry, he will come around," said James.

"Have you heard any news about your parents?" asked Lily.

James sighed and nodded. "They are in a very fragile state, both of them, the healers say they are too weak to recover. They are still treating them."

"Do you have any plans for your birthday?" she asked him.

"I will visit my parents in the morning, not in the mood for any celebration really," said James.

"Can I come too? To visit your parents?" asked Lily pressing her lips.

James placed his muddy arms around her, "Of course, you can, they will love to see you."

"Is anything bothering you?" she asked removing his arm. "You are a bit off lately."

"No, it's not that important, we can talk about it later," he said focusing on the plant again.

Lily would have pressed but she has her plant to look after.

Things for James weren't going great, his mind was constantly filled with the worries of the inevitable, about his parents. As James wasn't physically fit and the last time they had faced Voldemort himself, they had decided to put it on hold for the moment. But this wasn't all the thing that was eating him most was that Daisy, the one who worked at The Lestranges hadn't been since that night when James fought the Lestranges.

James was worried that they might have found out that she was a snitch, and might be torturing her just because she had helped Thanatos, James was sure that they would not find out about him or even about Ryan, Tracey, and Adam because Tracey had only one talent in magic and that is to obliviate, she said that she would have considered it as a career if she wasn't busy with Ryan and has passed the required NEWT.

James didn't realize how it happened but he was now distant from his friends, Sirius was not making stupid things or planning or making jokes with him, it was back to the fifth year but this time it got worse when Sirius shouted at James after a full moon when James, who was sitting alone in his balcony, not wanting to talk to anyone and to escape the reality has taken out one of the books which Lily has gifted him along with a magical tea-pot which makes tea without fire when put ingredients in it, she knew that James has been addicted by morning tea since the summer when he has stayed with her.

The books she has given him were Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell, The Count of Monte Cristo, and The Silmarillion.

James was drinking tea under the lights he had conjured and was reading The Count of Monte Cristo, James chuckled when he read, ' He who has a partner has a master,' and thought of how fun it would be to tell this to Sirius but then remembered Sirius was still acting foolishly. James stayed reading the book and was lost in it for a long time when he noticed the full moon and remembered he was to be somewhere else by now.

Sirius shouted at James for missing such an important thing and being careless, irresponsible, selfish, and Lily-centered. In return, James has shouted back at Sirius for not understanding a thing and to leave Lily out of it.

James was in a foul mood, not being able to talk to Lily or even Marls for the whole day, and was walking back from Quidditch practice after everyone had left.

"Not again, I am tired of you," frowned James running his hands through his hair. "When will you understand that we're not kids anymore?"

"HA! Are you listening to him?" Sirius asked looking at everyone. "He is the one acting like a foolish kid and saying I am a kid."

"What has gotten into you?" asked James irritatedly, he was patient in these conditions but now when he was already tired and had so much to worry about and the thought of Daisy still missing, the worst thing he couldn't inquire about her as it will reveal his secret group and he will be breaking his promise to his Diagon Alley friends about not to talk about Daisy as people will become suspicious of them too. Only Lily knew about his three friends but James hadn't told her about Daisy missing because he just couldn't, because it might make her feel guilty too that it was due to their fight with Lestranges and it was due to that.

"What has gotten into me?" asked Sirius bewildered. "Remus tell him who is acting odd."

James turned to Remus who sighed. "You have not been spending time with us anymore, it looks like we're are no longer your friends."

"You think this too, Peter?" asked James.

Peter looked down and bit his lips and nodded. "You have turned down our all recent invitations to kitchens, games, and even study sessions."

"OH! I am sorry for that, I am sorry that I am not acting like a child anymore and playing games with you all. I am sorry that a war is going out there," shouted James. "I didn't ask for all this but people are dying daily and I unlike you lot can't ignore it."

"It's not only you that care about war, we all know what's going out there," said Marls.

"No, you don't, you don't know how much shit is out there," James was now letting out all his frustrations at his friends, which he knew he'd regret later but couldn't help it. He turned to Sirius. "And you want to play and enjoy. I want to too, who doesn't but we know the gravity of the situation unlike you, and are acting maturely."

Sirius moved forward. " When Peter asked you to go to Hogsmeade yesterday, you denied him but you go today with Snape. Once a month, Remus has a problem and you can't come at the right time. I don't think this is a mature act."

"You have no idea, what I do or how much I do, else you wouldn't be saying this," shouted James.

Lily moved to James, not able to handle all this shouting anymore, she had hoped that if the boys would talk then everything would be back to normal but to her disappointment, James was just becoming as reckless and angry as Sirius.

she asked, despite her warning he had gone out of The Castle security with a death eater, who was his enemy and had tried to kill him in past. "You were alone, you could have gotten hurt."

"I can't tell what I was doing, and I can take care of myself," he told her irritatedly.

"Why can't you tell us?" asked Remus.

"Because I don't want to," snapped James.

"James, calm down and tell me what's wrong?" Lily asked worriedly. "You have been acting odd and distant lately."

"OH! So, you will take their side now?" he asked angrily in his frustration, he wasn't looking at her.

"Just relax and tell what's going on? I could help. We could help," she tried to make him look at her but he just shoved off her hand.

"I don't want help. And stop this, you know that he is acting foolishly," James said glaring at Sirius.

"It's you, you have been so self-centred that you don't care for your friends anymore," shouted Sirius. Lily glared at Sirius. "Oh! don't look at me like this, you were agreeing with us that he is overreacting and ignoring us."

"Sirius," hissed Marls but the damage was done.

"So, you think that I am overreacting and ignoring you all?" snapped James at her.

"Not, what I mean but yes. James, you know that talking helps and we are all your friends," she reasoned with him.

"Doesn't looks like so," he snarled at them all.

"What does that mean?" she asked bewildered.

But before James could say anything, Sirius said angrily, "Yeah, it doesn't look like we are friends any longer. You continue hiding things from us."

"Yeah, I will, because you won't understand half of it," James retorted.

"James, Sirius, stop. You both are acting like morons. I am trying to help here," shouted Lily and turned to James. "You will tell us what's wrong, now," she ordered.

"I don't think so, not when you all think I overreact and am ignorant," James snarled. "And stop trying to always help, it's not your duty to help and mend things. It makes you look stupid."

"Fine, then go on continue fighting and shouting," she snapped back at him, the hurt in her eyes breaking James' heart. "You continue struggling with your mind," she said to James and then turned to Sirius, "And you continue acting like a foolish child."

She pushed aside James and stormed off from the room, and was gone before James could call her back. The other two girls followed Lily. James locked eyes with Sirius and took a glance at Remus and Peter before leaving.

He half hoped that Lily would be in the balcony but when he reached there, he found it empty and sat there.

He sat there for about thirty minutes before he calmed down and then began crying, he was now missing his Uncle, his parents, his aunt, he missed them all and hoped he could just like old time sit in his mother's lap listening to stories from Aunt May while his father and Uncle sat there and talked about who would win quidditch this session or discussing politics or planning for a family vacation to France.

Those were the days when he was away from all the worries and carefree, he remembered how his mother would bake the best cookies he has ever eaten, about how if he was angry with his mother he would run to Aunt May and sleep in her room listening to her and about how May would trick James in doing things he didn't do when his mother asked him too.

He remembered his mother and Aunt May making fun of him when he was dressed by his father and uncle, he remembered how he was once forced to wear a frock for a fancy dress competition when he was five.

But now all of them were gone, his aunt and uncle dead, his parents on life support taking their last breaths, in coma.

The war has hit him hard, he has lost everything, and now in guilt and worry for Daisy, in frustration and irritation, he has shouted at his friends, his best friend, his family, and to worsen it all he has shouted at Lily when all she wanted was to mend his friendship with Sirius.

He felt the fear, what if he has losen all his friends today? What if Lily didn't talked to him again? How will he live then? He cursed himself for losing his temper but then his friends has acted stupidly. Can't they understand that he couldn't tell everything to them and that he was going through hell and just leave him be. Can't they see that James didn't wanted this and wanted to be care-free?

James wanted to escape this war and he could but now that he has seen what's it out there, he couldn't help himself, he couldn't just sit here and enjoy while those killers, the killers of his family freely roam around. He felt responsible for Daisy, he has only met her twice or thrice but she has given him very vital information, and now she was missing, he felt sad and guilty. He couldn't relax and ignore them when his love Lily is one of their targets just because she is muggleborn.

It hurt James to have spoken to Lily in that tone, it has hurt him when he has seen the pain in her eyes. He needed her more now more than ever. Whenever he has feel blue, whenever his morale and courage has started sinking, she has been there like a ray of hope in darkness. She has lifted him up whenever he has been down.

But he was feeling ashamed to go near her, he was feeling bad to approach her and talk to her, he has hurt her.

And then without knowing James began singing, 'Yesterday by The Beatles.'

He looked at the sky, the night has fallen, dinner was probably over but he wasn't hungry, most of the people would be asleep now.

Not able to take the pain anymore he went to take his broom and returned and flew too her dorm room, he magically opened the window and got inside, closing the window behind him. And then carefully tip-toed to Lily's bad which he recognised from his last visit.

She was lying facing other side, he didn't knew if she was asleep or not, he slid in her blanket and hold her closer to him.

"I am so sorry for shouting at you, please don't be angry at me, it hurts to me to be away from you," he spoke to her and luckily she was awake, she turned to face him, and James in the darkness saw that she was crying.

"Please, don't shout at me like that," she said hugging him and burying her head in his chest. "It hurts when you did that."

He pulled her closer to him, "I am really sorry, it was just a long tiring day and so much was going on, and then Sirius began shouting and I lost it in my frustration."

"I understand and I am sorry about that but you have to talk to me about what's bothering you and you have to tell Sirius and others too, they are all worried about you," she told him.

"I am sorry, it's just I couldn't bring myself to talk, I couldn't, each time I try to tell you, the guilty feeling took over me and I couldn't involve you in my guilt,"

"We're soulmates, you can tell me, it's okay, and I will help you,"

James nodded and kissed her head.

"You know that when I shout at you, it means nothing, and it isn't directed at you, it's just me letting my feelings out," she told him.

"I know," he informed her. "I know, and I don't mind, instead I feel proud that you let it out in front of me only,"

"You're the best," she grinned.

"So, this means only you can shout at me and I can't?" he chuckled.

"Yes," she laughed. "It just hurt me when you ignored me."

"I will make sure not to do that again," he buried his head in the crook of her neck and they remained like that, she rubbed his back as she felt his tears on her skin. "I want to run away from this war with you," he said after a few minutes. "I want it very badly but I can't, the pain and guilt will not let me."

"I know, James," she replied. "Now, tell me what happened."

So, he told her everything about Daisy and about his parents being in coma.

"It will be alright in the end, James. It's war, don't feel guilty, it's not your fault, it's their fault alone if they hurt her. We can't do anything without a lead." Lily soothed him and James nodded.

"What about Sirius and others?" he asked.

"I will help you to make up with them, they all care for and are worried about you, that is why they were upset, and they got angry when you left the castle with your enemy, the enemy who tried to kill you. Sirius was just being a protective brother. Do you remember I told you about how he lectured me for half an hour about not breaking your heart when I started dating you officially?"

"Yeah, I remember that and you hexed him, he was stuttering all day," chuckled James. "Can I stay here, tonight? I don't want to sleep alone, I just want to be with you."

"Yeah, we'll sort out how to sneak you out before the other girls know," said Lily.

"You do realize that you haven't casted muffliato around your bed, Lils?" asked Marls whose bed was closest to Lily.

James and Lily cursed and casted the muffliato around the bed. Lily then pulled James in a passionate kiss while her hands made their way to his belt.

James pulled back, "What are you doing?" he asked.

"Taking your mind off things, Potter, off the world," she winked. "And you have to return the favor."

"Oh! I will return the favor very eagerly, Evans, and that too with interest," said James huskily and Lily giggled.

"The interest rate is very high, Potter," teased Lily.

"Bring it on, I have enough to handle it," said James kissing her.

The next day, James found it wasn't as hard to make up with Sirius and others as he had thought, and it was because when James has told them about what he was going through they all had understood him.

James sat talking with his friends and looked up at the kind girl sitting across the room from him, it was magic, a blessing that someone could be so kind, understanding, and gentle along with being fierce, tough, and powerful as she was and the fact that she has chosen him and that they were now 'soulmates', made him happy and proud, she was all he needed in these dark times. She noticed him looking at her and gave him a cute-warm smile.

"I didn't mean what I said about Lily, she is the best person for you, mate," said Sirius. "She has made you a better person and has inspired our group too."

"She is our sister, who acts like our mother," added Peter.

"Nah, Mary is the mother. Mother Mary, get it," chuckled Sirius.

"And I should tell you, Prongs that two days ago, I caught our Sirius with Marls in a broom cupboard during the patrol," snorted Remus and Sirius hit him on the head.

"So, you guys are back again?" asked James looking at Marls.

"Yeah, we're taking it slow, she has said no emotions involve though," confessed Sirius. "There's something different about us, that only we understand."

"You both are very direct with needs, whereas others take time and then slowly go to the intimate part, you do it the other way around," laughed Remus.

That day James received another message about a small attack on a family of a muggleborn wizard who is in Hufflepuff. This time he was more cautious and prepared with a backup plan to escape, Sirius has joined them but under the condition that he will not get into the fight and remain backstage. It wasn't as hard as catching two death eaters who were thinking that Thanatos has been afraid after Voldemort's attack was easily related to other nights.

As Easter Break approached, so did bad news about James' parents, they had died within hours of each other's demise.

James didn't cried much when Minnie gave him the news because this time he has accepted it already, he just sat away from everywhere with Lily in her arms, and buried his face in her shoulders while she said comforting words to him.

"One day the war will be over and we'll win," she spoke. "We will then take a holiday from all the other things, and would go to a peaceful village and would stay there, just the two of us. We will live in a muggle way for some time, we will do gardening, it's fun, I will show you. We will cook together and eat together, we can watch football matches on TV, yes, we'll get a TV. Then we'll go to see quidditch matches. We can visit Marls and others and go on a trip to the beach, it'll be fun."

"We can play quidditch together too," said James.

"Yeah, of course, how stupid of me to forget that," she let out a laugh.

"Silly, Lily," he chuckled.