Hey, guys been forever since I rewrote a Loud House ep. So i decide to try my hand at The Really Loud House this has the quality of my first work so you might like it or hate it.
The reason I'm putting it in here is because there's no The Really Loud House spot.
Open on an exterior shot of the Loud House, then fade into Lincoln sleeping in his room. He was on the top bunk in his and Johnnypool's closet-bedroom.
He rubbed his eyes and the world swam into focus.
A terrible white face stared down at him from the grate.
Lincoln let out a terrified scream and sat bolt upright. The apparition screamed too, in a cold, robotic manner, and Lincoln realized who it was.
"Lucy," he panted, heart racing, "You scared me half to death. What are you doing?"
"I was looking for Johnny," Lucy said, "so I can watch him sleep."
Uh...creepy. Touching, but creepy. "He's on the bottom," Lincoln said. He didn't tell her that this stalkerish behavior was precisely why he insisted on taking the bottom bunk: As soon as they got in this room, he saw that vent and said I don't wanna sleep there. Lucy might try to watch me sleep. Lincoln thought he was just being paranoid, but here they were.
Hanging her head in defeat, Lucy sighed. "I'll come back later."
She disappeared and Lincoln waited a few minutes to make sure she was actually gone before jumping down. "Told you," Johnnypool said. He lay on his side in the pool of shadows that was his bunk.
"When you're right, you're right," Lincoln admitted. He stripped to his underwear and pulled on a pair of jeans. He tugged a white T-shirt over his head and slipped into a white t-shirt with orange flowers and blue multi pocket pants Johnnypool called it his "edgy early 2000s kid" outfit. Lincoln called it gnarly.
Lincoln turned to the readers, "Today is a big day. Today is the day Lincoln Loud becomes a man and I am super pumped!
He then walks into the hallway. "I've always been known as the Man with the Plan, but tonight, I'm gonna take it up a notch. My big bro Johnny and I will be watching the Rip Hardcore Midnight Marathon and getting our official Macho Man badges."
Flashback to Lincoln, Johnnypool and Scooby watching TV in the living room.
"Ooh! Watch my Midnight Marathon! Yeah! Put in promo code: MACHOMAN! All-caps! Watch it! And I will personally send you your Macho Man badge." Rip Hardcore said.
The badge flashes on screen.
"Macho Man badges are not gender-specific. Rip Hardcore isn't just super ripped; he's super woke. And super ripped." The Announcer said.
Lincoln jumped from the couch, "I am totally getting that Macho Man badge!"
Johnnypool laughed, "You really want that Macho Man badge? It's no better than a toy cop badge."
Scooby nodded, "Yeah, toy badge."
Lincoln pointed at Johnnypool, "Hey don't disrespect the badge. That thing is sick, maybe I'll even grow some chest hair."
Back to the present. The usual Loud House chaos runs rampant in the hallways. Lisa is standing outside the bathroom, desperately trying to hold her bladder. The toilet flushes, and Lincoln steps out of the bathroom as Lisa rushes inside.
Lincoln looks to the reader "When you're one of two boys in a family with ten sisters, you learn two things. Number one: Always put the toilet seat down when you're finished."
Lisa can be heard screaming as something splashes, "LINCOLN!"
Lincoln looks nervous, "My bad! And number two...You gotta reserve your TV time."
Lincoln heads downstairs to the couch, where there's a "RESERVED" sign on his sweet spot.
"I've even staked out my favorite spot on the couch."
Next to his sweet spot is a pup named Scooby doo. Scooby sees Lincoln and licks his face.
"Morning to you, Scoob." Lincoln says to the pup.
"Good morning Lincoln." Scooby said.
Lincoln then looks to the readers, "The only thing left to do is prepare the midnight snacks."
He enters the kitchen to find Lynn Sr. knocked out cold on the floor, snoring, surrounded by ingredients and with the fridge door open.
"Ah, the life of a chef. Poor guy works too hard." Lincoln tries to wake him up, "Dad? Dad?"
Suddenly Luan shows up, "Step aside, Lincoln. This is a job for my gag flower."
"Does that thing even work?" Lincoln asked.
Luan fires the flower on Lincoln.
Lincoln spits out water, "OK, then."
Luan prepares to fire the gag flower on Lynn Sr., but finds out it's run out of juice, "And now it's out of water." Luan then leaves.
Lynn Sr. wakes up groggy, "Where am I? What day is it? Did I miss my half-birthday?"
Lincoln looks to the readers, "My dad loves his half-birthday."
Lynn Sr. gets up, "Last thing I remember is coming into the kitchen to fix a late-night chocolate cake for my half-birthday, which I love."
"Told ya." Lincoln said with a wink.
Flashback to last night. Lynn Sr. is in the kitchen and gathering ingredients to make his half-birthday cake.
Lynn Sr. sings while he works, "It's my ha-ha-half, birthday, it's my half, birthday, it's my- "
He closes the fridge door, only to find Lucy standing next to him wearing robes and carrying a scythe. He shrieks and collapses to the ground in fright, dropping his ingredients.
"Hello, Father." Lucy said.
Back to the present.
"Lucy scared the ding-dang dickens out of me. But only because it was the middle of the night. She doesn't scare me during the day anymore." Lynn Sr. said.
He closes the fridge door, spots Lucy once again standing next to the fridge, shrieks, and collapses in fright.
"I don't see what's so scary about me." Lucy said. A high-pitched scream is heard in the background, and it turns out to be Lucy's ringtone. "I'll get that later."
Lynn Sr. gets up, "What were you doing up in the middle of the night, anyway?"
"If you must know, I've been up 58 hours straight for my Morticians Club's Three Nights of Fright." Lucy said.
"58 hours?! Lincoln, family meeting whistle." Lynn Sr. said.
Lincoln grabs a whistle and throws it to Lynn Sr., who blows it. The family gathers in the living room, the siblings talking over each other
"Order! Order!" Lynn Sr. yelled.
"Zip it, people!" Rita yelled.
The siblings quiet down.
"Your father said order." Rita said.
"That I did. Now." Lynn Sr. said before clears his throat. "As some of you may have heard-"
"We know. Tomorrow's your half-birthday." The Siblings said in a deadpan voice.
"Tomorrow is my half-birthday, but that's not what this meeting's about. But feel free to mark it on your calendars." Lynn Sr. said before he chuckles. "Moving on. Lucy..."
The other siblings look at Lucy.
"What?" Lucy asked.
"...has been up for three days straight, and last night she scared the bejeezus out of me. So, there's gonna be a new rule around here." Lynn Sr. said.
Johnnypool turns to the readers, "Probably gonna be no more sneaking up on people."
Lucy slides next to him and jumpscares him.
"You think so?" Lucy asked.
"You really should start wearing a bell." Johnnypool said.
"And the new rule is..." Lynn Sr.
The kids lean forward in anticipation.
"Everyone goes to bed before midnight, not one minute later!"
"Aw what!? But there's a marathon tonight!" Lincoln yelled.
"Lame!" Johnnypool yelled.
The siblings start protesting.
"Order! Order!" Lynn Sr.
They're not listening.
"Don't make me have to count! Here we go! One, two-" Lynn Sr. said.
Rita holds a fist up, and the kids immediately silence.
"You did it, honey." Rita said.
"Sorry I had to be so harsh with them. In this house, it's all for one and one for all." Lynn Sr. said.
"And Lucy's not the first kid to make a mistake." Rita said.
"Yeah, Mom's right. You've all been responsible for new rules around here." Lynn Sr. said.
Flashback to the parents coming back to the house to find Lola sitting in a massive tub of ice cream
"What? You said we could have one bowl of ice cream." Lola said.
"New rule!" Lynn Sr. said.
"One normal-sized bowl of ice cream! Per kid!" Rita yelled.
"By the way, we're out of mint chip." Lola said.
Second flashback of the parents coming back home.
"Really? The whole time?" Lynn Sr asked.
"The whole time." Rita said.
Suddenly there's a snake on the coat rack, which hisses at them.
Lana is sitting on the couch watching TV and eating popcorn, "Don't worry. El Diablo won't hurt you. I found him in the sewer."
"New rule." Lynn Sr. whispered.
"No bringing home stray pets." Rita said.
"Sorry, Mudpie." Lana said to a cow she'd also smuggled into the house.
Back to the present. The kids are still complaining
"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! This is not up for debate! Effective today, no one stays up past midnight!" Lynn Sr. yelled.
The parents leave the room.
Lynn Sr. comes back, "Now I'm gonna clean and repair Vanzilla. I don't wanna do it tomorrow because tomorrow's my, uh, half-"
"We know." The Siblings said.
"Feel free to mark it on your calendars." Lynn Sr. said before leaving.
Lincoln grabs Johnnypool, "I need to come up with a plan."
The siblings all leave.
"This is not fair. I have no time to get ready." Lola said
"Man, that guy's so obsessed with his half-birthday." Lana said.
Lincoln gets an idea, "Bingo."
The siblings are now gathered in Lisa and Lily's room
"OK, so here's the plan. Tonight at midnight, we take Dad out to Jean Juan's French Mex for a half-birthday celebration. Meanwhile Todd will stay here and watch the Rip Hardcore Midnight Marathon and get my Macho Man Badge."
"Look, Lincoln, I'm only home from college for two days, and we all have a lot of stuff to do. So if you want us to help you, you're gonna have to help us with our stuff." Lori said.
"Yeah." Lily added.
Johnnypool pointed at himself, "No prob girls! Lincoln, Scoob and I will help you with your stuff, but we have to get moving because the clock is ticking."
The sisters smile, "Deal!"
"Scooby-Dooby-Doo!" Scooby yelled.
Johnnypool & Scooby are in the twins' room.
"I need you to brush my pageant wigs." Lola said, She hands one over to Johnnypool.
He nervously brushes, "Easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy."
"Good job." Lola said. She grabs a bag full of wigs. "Here's the rest of them." She dumps them all on the floor, "Oh, there's more."
She grabs more wigs from her bed and dumps them on the floor.
"D'oh!" Johnnypool yelled.
Lincoln and Leni are in her and Lori's room. Leni is wearing a lie detector
"Somebody stole my boss's tofu sandwich from the break room at work, and now she wants all of us to take a lie detector test. I need to practice telling the truth. Every time you lie, it buzzes." Leni said.
"OK, you're not the only sister I have to help. How long will this take?" Lincoln asked.
"It'll go really fast!" Leni said.
The machine buzzes and glows red, meaning she's lying.
"Kinda fast."
Another buzz
"OK, it might take a really long time."
This time, it dings and glows green; she's told the truth.
"Just ask me an easy question."
"Am I your favorite brother?" Lincoln asked.
"Yes." Leni said
buzz
"Leni, you like Johnnypool more then me!" Lincoln yelled.
"I'm sorry but he's so cute."
buzz
"Handsome."
buzz
"OK, fine, he's the dreamest boy ever!"
ding
Lincoln sighs
Johnnypool & Scooby are now in Luan and Luna's room, where Luan is on her comedy stage
"OK, so I need a really funny closing joke for my comedy act. What do you think? Have a great day, and if you're driving home, please take a car." Luan said.
Johnnypool frowns, "Boo! Get off the stage!"
"Yeah get off!" Scooby mimicked.
"Don't worry folks I I've got about 50 other options, and you're not leaving until you hear them all." Reads from her jokebook. "Two fish are in a tank, and one of them says, 'How do you drive this thing?' Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!" Luan said.
Lincoln and Lori are in the kitchen.
"I need to bake a cake for a collage party I literally tried to make him one, but... I think I need your help." Lori said.
"I'm sure what you made is great." Lincoln said.
Lori pulls out a ugly cake and Lincoln takes a slice and bites it.
"Awful?" Lori asked.
"Literally." Lincoln said.
Johnnypool & Scooby are in Lynn and Lucy's room, talking to Lynn.
"Tomorrow is my hockey team's championship game, and I need to come up with the perfect motivational speech to, uh..." Lynn Jr. Said
"Motivate them?" Johnnypool asked.
Lynn: "Yes! See, this is why I need you, Mr... Good-With-Words Guy! Let me give you what I've got so far." Lynn Jr. Said before she clears her throat. "WE GOTTA WIN THIS GAME, YOU SPACE WASTERS!"
The intensity of the speech is enough to knock Johnnypool & Scooby on their backs.
Lisa and Lily's room. Lisa is showing off Todd.
"I'm entering Todd in a robotics competition, and it seems another contestant also has a robot named Todd." Lisa said.
"Why can't he change his robot name?" Lincoln asked.
Lisa sighs, "His Todd was named after his recently-deceased grandfather. Some guys have all the luck."
"So you need me to come up with a new name for Robot Todd?" Lincoln asked.
"Precisely." Lisa said.
"How about Beau?" Lincoln asked.
"No." Lisa said.
"Jamie?" Lincoln asked.
"Lame-y. This is a list of names that I don't like." Lisa said showing a massive board filled with X'ed out names, then flips it over to show the other side is also full of X'ed out names.
"WE'VE BEEN HERE FOR HOURS." Todd said.
Lincoln sighs again.
Lana is in the living room and showing Johnnypool & Scooby an image of a guinea pig named Truffles who apparently won the world record of leaping 48 centimeters.
"The world record for a guinea pig jump is 48 centimeters." Lana said and shows them her guinea pig. "Sprinks here is gonna shatter that record for a full two centimeters. But according to the big shots at Guinness, I need a witness to verify it." Lana said then plays music, "FLY, SPRINKS!"
Sprinks doesn't do anything.
"Probably just nerves." Lana said.
Johnnypool looks confused while Scooby licks him lips.
"Yum guinea pig!" Scooby says.
Johnnypool jumped on the puppy, "No Scoob don't eat the guinea pig!"
Luna is rocking out in her and Luan's room. Lincoln comes near her room
Luna: "Oh, hey, little dude! I'm just finishing up this banging track, but it's missing a little sultry, Southern sound, AKA the cowbell. So grab a drumstick, I need some cowbell."
"Lincoln, where are you?" Lucy asked.
"I gotta go." Lincoln said.
He enters Lucy and Lynn's room "Lucy?" the door shuts behind him; he looks in her mirror "Lucy?" looks behind him, then back in the mirror, and gets jumpscared by Lucy showing up out of nowhere "AAH!"
"Hello, brother." Lucy said.
"Please stop doing that!" Lincoln yelled.
"She scared us, too." Johnnypool said.
Johnny & Scooby are also lying on the floor.
"Let's not mention this in our Macho Man applications."
"Why don't we just beg papa loud if he could change the bedtime rule?" Johnnypool asked.
"He's fixing Vanzilla today. It's not a good time to ask him for stuff." Lincoln said.
Cut to Lynn Sr. outside the house... and he isn't making any progress in fixing Vanzilla.
"I AM NOT A GOOD MECHANIC! I JUST WANTED TO REPLACE THE WINDSHIELD WIPER FLUID!" Lynn Sr. Yelled.
Back to Lynn and Lucy's room.
"I need to stay up for five more hours to complete my Three Nights of Fright. And though I never admit it to my fellow club members, I'm fading. I need you to keep me awake." Lucy said.
"This isn't gonna work, Lincoln. We're running out of time, we have too many sisters." Johnny said.
"That's it, Clyde! I just had another idea."
The trio stand up.
"Come with me." Lincoln grabs Lucy and drags her out of her room to Luna and Luan's room.
"You need a cowbell player to go with your blaring solos." Lincoln said to Luna. "You need to stay awake." He says to Lucy while he hands her a cowbell and leaves.
Leni is pacing in her room with the lie detector when Lincoln enters with Luan. "You need to know if your joke's actually funny." Lincoln said to Luan "You need to practice telling the truth." He said to Leni.
Cut to Lincoln in the living room with Lana, "You need your guinea pig to set a world record."
Lynn shows up.
"You need to practice your motivational speech." Lincoln said.
"Let's do this!" Lynn Jr yelled.
"Yeah!" Lana yelled.
Cut to Lincoln in the kitchen with Lori
"You need to bake a cake." Lincoln brings Johnnypool over. "Johnnypool can help you make it. He's the best at cooking." Lincoln said.
"I wouldn't say I'm the best geez Stinkon trying to make me blush?" Johnnypool asked.
55 MINUTES LATER
Lori puts out a beautiful looking cake from the oven.
"Oh, Johnnypool, this cake is literally so perfect!" Lori yelled.
Luna and Lucy are rocking out and finish the song.
"I laid down the perfect track!" Luna said.
"I stayed up for 72 hours straight." Lucy said before she collapses from exhaustion.
Luan finishes her comedy material on Leni.
"I said sprocket, not socket." Luan said.
Leni laughs, "That was a really funny joke."
ding
"I wrote a funny closing joke!" Luan yelled.
"I told the truth!" Leni yelled.
Lynn Jr. is motivating Sprinks.
"You gotta ask yourself one question: How bad do I want it? Now go get it!" Lynn Jr. yelled
Sprinks takes the leap and sticks the landing.
"YES!" Lynn Jr. Yelled.
Lynn and Lana start jumping for joy.
"I'm getting in the Guinness Book!" Lana yelled.
"I wrote the perfect speech!" Lynn Jr yelled.
"Yes!" Lana yelled.
They high-five.
Lola is styling a wig Lincoln is wearing.
Lola gasps, "I brushed all my pageant wigs!"
"All that's left to do is come up with a name for Lisa's robot, and then Operation Watch Rip Hardcore and Get My Macho Man Badge While You Guys Take Dad Out For His Half-Birthday is ready to launch with time to spare." Lincoln said.
He takes out his watch, it's 6:35 PM now.
Johnnypool & Scooby then runs up to Lincoln, "Yo bro did you come up with a new name for Todd?""
Lincoln looks at Johnnypool then gasped, "I got it!"
Lincoln enters Lisa's room, "J.J!"
Lisa: "Excuse me?"
Lincoln smiles "We're gonna name your robot J.J."
Lisa and Todd look at each other.
Jean Juan's French Mex Buffet. The Louds have assembled for Lynn Sr.'s half-birthday.
"I am having such a good time." Lynn Sr. Said before he chuckles. "L.J., how's that beef baguette in a bread bowl?"
"Great. Perfect pre-game meal for my hockey championship tomorrow. Carbo load!" Lynn Jr. Said then keeps eating.
"You still need to chew carbs, sweetie." Rita said.
Lynn Jr with a mouth full, "I do?"
Lincoln looked towards Johnnypool and mouthed to to check on Todd.
Johnnypool meanwhile uses a ear piece to talk to Todd, "J.J, how are things going at home?"
Back at the Loud House, Todd is watching the marathon.
Todd opens the laptop, "THINGS ARE GOING WELL. IN 13 MINUTES LINCOLN WILL BECOME A MACHO MAN."
Johnnypool smiled then gave Lincoln a thumbs up, "Thanks buddy."
"How about you, Linc? How's that burger treating you?" Lynn Sr asked.
Lincoln smiled, "It's great dad thanks for asking!"
"No problem little buddy." Lynn Sr. Said.
Lynn Sr.'s half-birthday cake has shown up.
"Happy half-birthday to you!" Siblings and Rita sing.
Rita ends up belting out the last note and modulating it
"You're welcome." Rita said.
"Here we go." Lynn Sr. Said prepares to blow out the candle.
"Make sure not to say your wish unless it won't come true." Scooby said.
Lynn Sr.: "You know what, buddy? I don't need to make a wish, because tonight, all my wishes have come true."
Back at the Loud House, the marathon has begun.
"Ahh! All you hardcore fans, enter the promo code MACHOMAN right now. You'll receive your Macho Man badges in three to five business days, three to five!" Rip Hardcore yelled.
"I'M GONNA ENTER THE PROMO CODE." Todd said.
"It's now or never for your Macho Man dreams to come true!" Rip Hardcore yelled.
Back at Jean Juan's French Mex Buffet
Lynn Sr. Smiled, "You know, when I was a kid... There was this really popular guy named Jake Strong. And we had the exact same birthday. And every year, all the neighborhood kids would go to Jake's party..."And no one would come to mine. And my mom, she tried to entice the kids to come to the party. One year, we even had a miniature pony. But, uh, it didn't work."
"Nobody came?" Leni asked.
"No. That pony bucked me off and ran straight to Jake's. I think he was attracted to all the music and laughter. Anyway, my mom had this amazing idea. And she decided that instead of trying to compete with Jake, we'd start celebrating my half-birthday. And it worked. All the kids came. And, you know, I just was never happier. And I always dreamed that you guys would throw me a half-birthday party, I guess some dreams do come true."
Lincoln gets a little teary eye.
Johnnypool smiles and blushes he then talks into the ear piece and tells Todd something.
The Louds come back home to the darkened living room. Lynn Sr turns on the lights to reveal that the house decorated to celebrate Lynn Sr.'s half-birthday.
"SUPRISE!" Todd yelled.
"Wait, wha-what?" Lynn Sr asked.
"Huh!?" The Lincoln & the sisters yelled.
It's your surprise half-birthday party. I had to get you out of the house so Todd could decorate, right? Johnnypool said.
"You came up with a plan for me?" Lynn Sr asked.
"Yeah, I thought you could use a party from everyone that love ya." Johnnypool said.
The sisters awwwed.
"It's like you said, Dad. In the Loud House, it is all for one and one for all." Lori said.
"And..." JohnnyPool said gives a knowing smile at Luna; she takes the hint, "We have another special surprise for you."
"I wrote you a half-birthday song." Luna said.
"I don't think this could get any better." Lynn Sr. Said.
"And I'm going to kick it with a little cowbell." Lucy said.
"It just did." Lynn Sr. Said
Luna starts rocking out
"You know what?" Luna asked.
"What?" Sisters asked
"Let's just rock this thing!" Luna yelled.
They cheer
"One, two, three, four!" Luna yelled.
You thought we didn't listen
Yeah-yeah
Listen, you thought wrong
Yeah
We've got news for you, Dad
You're not just great, you're rad
Happy half-birthday
Happy half-birthday
Happy half-birthday to the best dad in the world
Happy half-birthday from your house full of girls
And boys
Whoa-o, whoa-o
Happy half-birthday, happy, happy, yeah
Big fun is our goal
Yeah, yeah
That's just how we roll
Hey
We hope you like this song
And so you know, you're way cooler than Jake Strong
Happy half-birthday!
Yeah!
"Thank you! That was-that was perfect. Where are Leni and Lana?" Lynn Sr. Asked
"What would a half-birthday be without a big present?" Johnnypool asked.
Outside the house. Lori is covering Lynn Sr.'s eyes as he approaches his present
"Please be a pony, please be a pony, please be a pony-" Lynn Sr. Said.
Lori removes her hand.
The gift's a pony.
Lynn Sr. Crys.
This is the best half-birthday ever!" Lynn Sr. Yelled.
As the others focus on Lynn Sr.
Todd approached Lincoln, "LINCOLN I GOT YOU YOUR BAGDE NOW YOU TRULY ARE MACHO."
Lincoln smiles and hugs Todd, "Thanks buddy."
The end.