Hello there,
After a (very) long time, I finally was able to convince myself to write (and publish) my own fanfic. Ever since I first saw The Mentalist, I've been fascinated by Jane and Lisbon (Jisbon forever!). And of course, I've developed a few head canons over the years.
I'm planning on turning this story into a series of connected one-shots, all taking place after the series finale. Maybe at some point, I'll have ideas for stories that take place during the series. I already have a few ideas for the collection, but they probably won't be in chronological order.
First of all, I would like to see how this first one-shot is perceived. I would therefore be very happy to receive comments (including critical ones) so that I can improve my writing skills.
Btw, I'm far too disorganized (and busy) for regular updates. :P
After this rather long preliminary banter: have fun reading!
PS: I did publish this story in German, too. Since some of the directly translated wording sounded weird, I took the liberty of making a few minimal changes. But nothing that changes the content of the story. German is my first language, so I'm really sorry if there are any grammar issues. I tried to proof-read the story, but my English skills are far from perfect.
-Silver Lining-
"How about we pay Virgil a visit?" Jane and Lisbon were sitting on the couch in her living room; she had rested her head on his lap as he stroked her hair lost in thought. A storm was raging outside. Black clouds darkened the afternoon sky, occasionally lit by a lonely flash of lightning. Rain-soaked leaves and branches swept across the street. Wind whistled around the house. Drops of rain pattered against the window panes. Thunder rumbled in the distance. Yet the newlywed couple barely noticed any of it, too engrossed in their own world.
"Virgil, as in Virgil Minelli?" Teresa slightly raised her head.
"Precisely, the one and only." When she didn't reply, he continued. "I mean as a temporary replacement for our honeymoon. Something that doesn't involve air travel. I would have loved to whisk you away to Europe, but our little troublemaker messed with my plans." With a broad grin, the mentalist affectionately placed a hand on his beloved's still flat belly.
"I was about to buy the tickets. But since I know how you feel about unexpected surprises, I wanted to talk to you first."
"Maybe I didn't want to go at all?"
Smiling, he raised a knowing brow. With an indifference that she did not feel, she looked at him without saying a word. Or at least she tried to. A few weeks ago she had decided not to grin like a lovesick teenager every time he looked at her like that. But once again she tried (and failed miserably) not to grin back. To her dismay, she discovered that Jane seemed to be aware of her decision. And shamelessly took advantage of the effect he had on her. Judging by his amused chuckle, he had also decided to doom her again and again. So much for still being a mystery to him after all these years.
Even her attempt to glare at him didn't change his demeanor. Instead, he beamed at her and continued patting her stomach. Secretly, she knew she couldn't bring herself to be mad at him anyway. (But she refused to do him the favor of admitting this.)
In fact, it made her incredibly happy that he was so excited about their baby; never failing to show her how content he truly was. It filled her with joy that she was the one who was able to give him this gift. But that didn't stop her from slapping him, in case he got too cocky again.
"That, my dear, is a lie.", he interrupted her musings. "I know for a fact that you dreamed of your honeymoon since you were a little girl. You're just afraid that you might be missing out on something while we are gone." Jane laughed out loud. "Ah, I see it now! The baby is your master plan to prevent just that, right?" As soon as the words left his mouth, her entire body tensed. He wanted to bite his tongue.
"You know as well as I do, that wasn't my plan!" she hissed, trying to put some distance between herself and her husband. "How was I supposed to know that you were going to propose? Dammit Jane, I didn't even know if you were coming back. If I'd ever see you again."
She almost inaudibly murmured the last sentence to herself. Nonetheless, Jane did hear it. His little "hiatus" was still, and likely would remain, a sensitive subject. Vega's death, combined with his handling of the event, had affected her more than she was willing to admit. He could slap himself for that. If he had informed Teresa about his true intentions, the current situation would have turned out differently. Or probably never happened at all. Instead, he had once again let her believe that he would disappear again and leave her alone. As if he was capable of doing that! But lately, he had never really shown her that. A serious mistake that he would've to correct at some point soon.
He gently stroked her head before softly replying, "Hey, look at me." He waited until she slowly turned around to face him, a look of uncertainty on her face. He needed her to know that he was there for her, she should see the truth in his eyes. "I didn't mean it like that. I hope you know that. It was just supposed to be a joke."
She grumbled something that to him sounded suspiciously like: "Well, it wasn't funny," so he tried a different approach. "I will always be there for you, for you and our child, for as long as I live. I promise you this."
The only answer he got at first was a sniffle. Then, in a broken voice, a reply: "I know you didn't mean it that way. I just... God, I don't even know why I keep overreacting like that." Huffing in frustration, she wiped away a single tear that had escaped her eyes.
"I do. You're pregnant, simple as that. And that includes the crazy hormones."
"I am so sorry."
"That you're pregnant?" He frowned.
"What? No! For heaven's sake, no." She shook her head vehemently. "I could never regret that. Even..." She paused, hesitated, before regaining her composure. "Even if you hadn't come back, I would've loved our child more than anything. No, I meant that my mood swings keep destroying our beautiful moments."
Admittedly, he too had yet to learn how to handle an emotional Lisbon. But since the reason was something so overwhelmingly beautiful, he was more than willing to go through each of those "fits" with her. However, he would rather not use that term in her presence for the time being, if ever; his instincts of self-preservation were too strong for that. Pregnant or not, Teresa was a lot stronger than her petite frame would suggest. And in all likelihood, physically superior to him. He admitted that this certainly had its charm. However, he didn't want to put her control to the test. At least not right now.
"Meh, you get used to it," he instead replied with a mischievous grin. Immediately, she slapped his chest with the backs of her hands. "You're a jerk, you know that?" His grin turned into a laugh. Rolling her eyes, Teresa sat up and snuggled up against his shoulder. An action that took all the edge off what she just said.
"Mmh. Not quite right, my dear." A questioning look met his. "I'm your jerk now," he clarified with a shrug. "And no matter what you do, you will never get rid of me again. I am where you are."
"What have I gotten myself into?" "You knew that beforehand, my dear." The agent grimaced, grunting slightly. Though when the blond consultant's lips met hers, she kissed him back without resistance (albeit a little grumpily). "I love you, Teresa," he murmured against her lips before slowly pulling away.
Her gaze softened. "I love you too, you idiot." They both exchanged a grin, lost in the other's eyes. Eventually, Lisbon cleared her throat before picking up where they left off. "All right, so you want to do a substitute honeymoon. But why Minelli?"
"Well, isn't it obvious?" The brunette's eyes narrowed. Jane raised his hands appeasingly. "Alright, alright. Well, we haven't seen him for quite a while. And unfortunately, he couldn't make it to our wedding because it was relatively short notice. Besides..." He hesitated, unsure of how she would react to his next statement.
"Besides what?"
"Don't be so impatient, my dear," he said, laughing. "What I was going to say before I was so rudely interrupted... I often had the impression that Minelli represented some sort of a father figure to you, am I right?" He wasn't quite sure how to interpret her look, so he continued with caution. "Since neither of our parents can, for given reasons, fill the role of grandparents, I thought..."
"You thought Minelli could fill in this role."
"Yeah, something along those lines. Trust me. The feeling is mutual. Remember, I can read most people, like an open book. He regards you as a daughter of his, you know?"
"Really?" Unsure, she looked at her husband's features, but she couldn't read anything in them except openness. Still... She didn't dare to believe him. Minelli had always been quite strict, especially with her. However, she had to admit, that despite his rock-hard facade, he had occasionally shown his gentle, almost fatherly side. In a way, he had protected her and her team. The more she thought about it, the more sense it made. Since he had no children of his own, it made sense that the "youngsters" in the CBI were a kind of child replacement for him. But she of all people as...
Jane watched in amusement as his wife's expression gradually shifted from disbelief to realization. And then back to disbelief. Before the self-doubt could gnaw at her any further, he interrupted her train of thought.
"Yes, he does. And let's not forget his wife, May."
"May?" She looked up at him confused. The name sounded familiar. May... She frowned thoughtfully. Then it clicked. "Wasn't that the one from AA you were trying to set him up with? In that case with the murdered Santa Claus?"
"Exactly. And once again a plan of mine that worked flawlessly."
"Don't be so smug, my friend. How do you even know if they're together, let alone married? I had no idea, and I wasn't lost for two years on some island in the Atlantic."
"Caribbean Sea, to be precise." Her eyes held a hint of confusion as they met his. He shrugged apologetically. "A small, but significant difference. Easy to mix up. About Minelli: I have my sources."
"I'm starting to get the feeling you're keen on sleeping on the couch." "You are bluffing. Otherwise, who else would be your living source of heat?" "Go ahead and you'll find out. Plus, we live in Texas. Like, Texas, the middle of the desert? I'll manage." She tried hard to keep a straight face. Jane shook his head in amusement. How easy she was to see through sometimes. Though for safety reasons, he would keep the fact that Austin had more of a subtropical climate to himself.
"You should work on your poker face, woman." Said woman raised her hand threateningly. "All right, all right.", he said. She lowered her hand. And work on your anger management, he wanted to add. As if she had guessed his thoughts, her fingers tightened into a fist. Distraction was now his savior and ally. "If you keep this up, I'll tie your hands. As a protective measure. So I don't end up covered in bruises by tonight." He winked at her.
Lisbon's eyes went wide and she swallowed hard. Jane observed with interest how her gaze darkened. It had long been no secret for him that his Teresa liked to give up control in the bedroom from time to time. Yet he was always fascinated by how quickly her thoughts went into such realms. He had always suspected, even when they were still working together at the CBI, that behind the tough agent's facade was a fragile yet adventurous woman. At least when it came to certain areas. Unfortunately, his brilliant plans were rarely included.
His suspicion had turned into certainty in the last few months. Despite that, he got to discover new sides of her almost every day. Her emotions, driven wild by her pregnancy, further enhanced the experience. He would remember that particular reaction for a later occasion; now he wanted to direct her thoughts back to less... indecent... matters.
He raised his eyebrows suggestively. Lisbon blushed. "Don't get me wrong, Agent Lisbon. I find the direction of your thoughts quite interesting. Highly appealing, even. But maybe we'll adjourn until we get this sorted out." "I didn't…" Jane just cocked his head and she blushed even more. "All right! Maybe I did... But that's entirely your fault! And those damn hormones!" She crossed her arms, pouting. "And actually, you're to blame for them too!" "It takes two, you know?"
If looks could kill, he would have been sent straight to the realm of the dead. Since this clearly did not have the desired effect, she punched him in the arm instead. His ears were probably playing tricks on him, too. He thought he heard a sound that closely resembled a growl coming from her side. To appease his wife's inner tiger, he quickly relented. "But we digress. You wanted to know how I knew this thing about Minelli." That seemed to do the trick.; her feline curiosity was awakened.
"And?" Impatient as ever. "I asked him." "Yeah, sure." A disparaging snort paired with an eye roll. Jane remained indifferent. "Yeah, sure. I asked him. After we told him about the wedding." "I was with you during the call... At what point did you put that question to him, hm?" "You paid a brief visit to the bathroom." Lisbon thought for a moment. "I was only gone for three, maybe four, minutes at most."
"Consequently it took me three, maybe four, minutes to get up to date." "But why didn't he mention he got married while I was listening?" "Because I asked him to." That initially stopped her in her tracks. Lisbon tried to process this information, but couldn't come up with a conclusive explanation. "Why?" she asked eventually.
"I didn't want you to worry about why you didn't notice before our wedding. Or why he didn't tell you himself first.", Jane tried to defend his decision. With bated breath, he waited for a reaction. "Oh..." "I didn't mean to patronize you," he hastily interjected. "I-I thought catching a serial killer would be more than enough excitement. Looking back, we can consider ourselves lucky that it went according to plan. I don't even want to imagine what... I wanted to protect you. I should have talked to you first. I'm sorry." "It's fine. I understand your reasoning. I just wish I had known about it beforehand." "I know. But..." "It's okay, Patrick. I'm not mad at you. I really am not."
He still looked at her like a loyal dog that had been beaten. It was an almost pitiful sight. She stroked his cheek forgivingly and he relaxed a bit. She took that as a sign to continue. Though not entirely sure if she wanted to hear the answer, she hesitantly asked her next question: "Why didn't he tell me?"
Sea-green eyes watched hers intently Insecurely, she avoided her husband's gaze and nervously began to play with the hem of her shirt until a warm hand stopped her erratic movements. "He's embarrassed, in a way." "Embarrassed? Why would he be embarrassed?" "Mostly because he is not exactly young anymore. A marriage at his age, with a woman who is about twelve years his junior? He was afraid of your reaction; that you would even be against it." Now the brunette was utterly confused. "Why would I be against it?" "Because he thinks of you as a daughter. Accordingly, he wants validation from you. Even though he may not realize it himself." She looked him in the eyes for a long time before finally coming to a conclusion. "You are completely serious." "I am."
Eyes closed, she took a few deep breaths. Her head was pounding. There was so much to understand at once. Too much. She took another deep breath. A feeling of calm spread through her. Everything was fine.
Until it wasn't. Because then it broke loose. A storm of thoughts. A storm that rivaled the one outside the house. Fragments of memories from her childhood and her parents, buzzed through her mind like a swarm of wild bees, mingling with more recent memories from her days at the CBI.
Faces flashed through her mind. Minelli hugging her after he told her he was retiring. Her father's angry grimace as he pounced on her and her brothers. The regret that flickered in his eyes in a moment of clarity. Jane, the first time she saw him, filled with pain and self-loathing. His counterpart a few days ago, on the evening of their wedding, full of love and happiness. And last but not least, unfocused, as if through a veil of mist, her mother's face.
Her hands found their way to her belly, in which her own child was growing, well protected. A child she never thought she would have. She had come to terms with the fact that it was unlikely she would ever have children. A tear slipped from the corner of her eye; whether it was a tear of sadness or joy, she couldn't tell. It felt so overwhelming. The air around her seemed to suddenly warm up by several degrees. She could see Jane talking to her. She tried hard to understand his words, but a roar drowned out all other sounds. Everything blurred into a tangled mess. Her thoughts began to swirl and circle like leaves in a storm. Around, around, around, until a pair of gentle arms wrapped themselves around her body and brought her back to the here and now.
"Breathe, Teresa," her husband's calm voice finally reached her. She sucked in a shaky breath. Without realizing it, she'd started holding her breath. With her head pressed against her husband's chest, she listened to his steady heartbeat and tried to mimic his even breathing. In and out. In and out. He smelled like tea, the leather of his couch, and a scent she could only describe as "Jane." His familiar smell had a calming effect on her. After some time, it could have been seconds or minutes, the tangle of thoughts gradually dissolved; she found it easier to breathe and the ringing in her ears disappeared. They remained like this for a few moments until the agent reluctantly broke away from the consultant.
"Thank you." "Everything okay?" Concern filled his eyes. "I think so. It's just all..." "A bit much?" Lisbon nodded in agreement. "I... Never mind. I'm fine." She tried to emphasize what she said with a smile, but Jane saw right through her facade. She might have gotten better at keeping secrets, but her eyes still betrayed her lies.
"Please don't shut me out, Teresa. Bright side, remember?" he quoted his pre-wedding speech. She took a deep breath before nodding slowly. "The wedding and the baby and now the things you said about Minelli. So many things have changed in such a short amount of time. It's good changes, I know. But for years, all of this seemed impossible. I had basically resigned myself to it. Now that I have all of this I don't know how to handle it. I... I panicked."
"I'm sorry. It wasn't my intention to overwhelm you. We don't have to go on a honeymoon. I just thought..."
She lovingly placed an index finger on his lips. "You don't need to justify yourself, Patrick." She took his hand in hers and began to fidget with the ring on his finger. Watched the light reflect in it. It was silver, a stark contrast to the ring she now wore on her necklace. Yet both symbolized the same thing in a sense. They were a sign of their love for one another. "I would very much like to visit Minelli with you." "Are you sure?" He still seemed to have doubts. Lisbon laughed. "Yes, Jane. I'm sure." "Splendid." His face lit up in a grin and he leaned in to kiss her. She let it happen for a moment before she pushed him away gently but firmly.
"However, we should talk about a few important things first.", she interrupted the protests that ensued from the consultant. "I'm serious," she giggled as he began placing small kisses along her neck. "I can also think of a few important things that we could talk about." He flipped her onto her back and determinedly continued with his ministrations.
"Mmh... Maybe I actually have to tie your hands," he mumbled against her neck. "Jaaanee..." She let out a mix between a sigh and a moan. Her resistance was rapidly melting away. With a last ounce of control, she pushed her enthusiastic husband away and crawled out from underneath him. Now it was his turn to let out a moan. One of frustration, however. She stood in front of him, her arms on her hips, and gave him a stern look that had brought many a criminal to their knees. Reluctantly, he resigned himself to his fate and sat up. "Spoilsport," he grumbled, pouting, his arms crossed. This elicited another laugh from her. "What? Are we in kindergarten? Good things come to those who wait" She patted his shoulder sympathetically, while flopping down next to him on the sofa.
"Pff..." A huffy snort escaped him, making him seem even more like a petulant toddler. "If you say so... So, what is there important to discuss?" "It's a good four days on the road from Austin to Sacramento, assuming the silver bucket holds up." "My Airstream is in top condition!" said Jane indignantly. Lisbon ignored him and continued: "I think our journey requires preparation. We have to get approval for the vacation and..." "That shouldn't pose a problem, given the amount of overtime we've accumulated." She glared at him. "I'm quiet.", he said, closing his mouth with an imaginary key. Shaking her head, she continued her speech.
"And I have an appointment with the gynecologist next Wednesday that I can't miss." With that, she had his undivided attention. "We have an appointment next Wednesday." "You don't have to come with me," she said. "I can do it on my own. They'll likely only do some basic external check-ups. You'd be bored." "I don't care. When I told you I am here for you and our child, I was referring to the entire deal. I want to be there. Nothing will stop me. So don't waste your energy." He winked at her. She tried to object again, but eventually gave in. "Fine. Okay. As you wish. But don't you dare complain afterwards." "Me? Never!" "If you say so."
Relaxed, they leaned back, nestled close to one another. Silence filled the room. Thunder continued to rumble in the distance. Lisbon noticed her husband playing with the ring on his hand and then tapping his bottom lip with his index finger. These nervous gestures were familiar to her. He was not as calm as he tried to pretend. There was something on his mind.
"Penny for your thoughts? " She caught him off guard."Hmm? Ah, it's nothing. Just thinking." A slight shrug. Again the tapping against the lip. "I guess I'm not the only one who needs to work on their poker face. Out with it. Come on. What's the matter?" "I don't want to burden you more, given your reaction a moment ago.," he pressed. "It can wait." He tried to appease her with a smile. She couldn't give in now. Because if she did, it would continue to gnaw at him. And, in the worst-case scenario, drive a wedge between them. She wanted to prevent that by all means possible.
"Whatever it is, it seems to be very important to you. Talk to me, Patrick," she said in a soft voice.
He shook his head in amusement. "You are a cruel woman, Teresa Lisbon. I can't deny you anything if you use my first name. You're aware of that, aren't you?" She smirked. "Why do you think I use it so rarely? Now stop trying to distract me." She watched him expectantly. He slowly nodded a few times.
"Have you thought about when we're going to tell Cho?" he finally asked cautiously. "When are we going to tell him about Junior, I mean. I know," he said before she could protest, "we agreed to keep your pregnancy a secret for the time being. Though at some point we should at least tell Cho. So he can sort things out with you being out in the field. I don't want anything to happen to you." His words now came out in a rush. He had obviously been mulling over the topic for a while. When he had finished he looked at her helplessly.
It wasn't that she didn't understand his reasons. Because she did start to understand him. She was aware of how much his worries about her were eating him up inside. (Or at least had a hunch.) More than once he tried to make her understand that. Both verbally and through his actions, but she had ignored his signals. His disappearance after the funeral was simply one of those instances, she realized that much. Which, mind you, didn't mean she approved of it. Now that she was pregnant, his fear had to be unbearable. But she too was plagued by fears. Fears that were ultimately the reason for her reluctance. However, she couldn't put off hiding them from him any longer. He had the right to know, not only as her best friend and husband, but also as the father of her child. A father who had already lost a child in the most tragic way, so she knew she had to handle the next moments with care. She cupped his face with her hands and kissed him tenderly.
"I don't want anything to happen to me - to us - either, Jane. It's just... I would like to wait... Until I know that everything is okay." Her hand involuntarily gravitated towards her belly. "I'm not that young. We both aren't, as a matter of fact. This means an increased risk. And some things just... happen." She swallowed hard. "I don't want any pity if... if something were to happen, you know? I don't know if I could handle that." Tears welled up in her eyes. Seeking comfort, she wrapped her arms around her body.
Jane watched desperately. It hurt his heart to see his wife suffering. The thought of any harm coming to her or their baby sent chills down his spine. He felt paralyzed. What would he do without her? She had saved him from a dark, dark place. Essentially, she had led him back into the light. Showed him that he wasn't entirely worthless. More importantly, she had proven that he was still capable of love. He had lost enough people he loved. He couldn't go through something like that again, he knew that with certainty. Quickly, he tried to push these feelings, these thoughts, aside. Tried to suppress them. Tried to lock them away in a dark area of his memory palace and ideally never let them see the light of day again. He was painfully aware that this was impossible. They would come to light at some point. But now was not that time. Teresa was here, with him, and needed him. Everything else could wait.
He broke free from his paralysis and gently pulled her to him, whereupon she collapsed against his shoulder, sobbing. Jane began rubbing her back in soothing circles.
"I am just so incredibly scared. More than ever before," she finally managed to say. "Me too," he replied in a thick voice. "Me too."
With watery eyes, she tried to crack a smile. "Look at us. Aren't we quite the pair."
Though one look in his direction was enough and the smile, if one could even describe it as such, turned into a grimace. She gulped.
His face was serious as he said, "Teresa. I won't let anything happen to any of you. Never." She sniffled. "Some things are beyond your control." "Maybe. But I will do what it takes to keep you safe." He grasped her hand and placed it on her stomach along with his. "I promise you that." Because she didn't trust her voice, she just nodded.
He continued to look intently into her eyes. "But in order for me to do so, I depend on your help. You must understand, I am on your side. Always. I understand your concerns. I feel the same way. This may sound like a cliché, but together we are stronger." His hand clasped hers tightly as he placed a kiss on her forehead. "I'm not saying it's always going to be easy. But I have faith in us. So far we've always managed, Teresa. As partners, as a team. Together."
And as the first rays of light triumphed over the clouds outside, inside, the deal was sealed with a kiss.
.
I hope it wasn't too cheesy and I didn't jump back and forth too much thematically. In future stories, I will try to maintain a consistent POV. I've noticed that I change these often (and that may be detrimental to reading comprehension).
However, I had two reasons why I haven't changed it in this story:
1. I'm super lazy and didn't want to change anything. And it already took me way too long to write and edit this story.
2. I wanted to shed light on both Jane and Lisbon's feelings/thoughts/fears on the topic without constantly having to say "POV of..." or even write a separate story. The two of them have partly different, partly similar experiences when it comes to family. I wanted to show how each of them reacts to this new situation and that not everything is always full of sunshine. Ultimately, these situations make both of them stronger, especially when they work together as a team.
"My" Lisbon may or may not be OOC, since we didn't actually see her "pregnant" (except in the last episode). My thought process went something like this: Over time Lisbon would open up more and more to Jane and allow herself to be vulnerable around him. Add in the raging pregnancy hormones and emotional situations and I arrive at this version of Lisbon. Although she is still the tough agent, she is still a woman who has had to suppress many fears in her life and be strong for others. Now that she has found someone who she trusts unconditionally, she dares to show her true self.
But like I said, this is just my take on it.
Anyhow... Thank you for reading!
(This story was also published on AO3)