A/N: Rated M for a reason. Just a warning, there are mentions of sex (not a full description,) and termination of pregnancy (no actual abortion takes place, just the discussion of it.) Minor inference to SA but again, it didn't actually happen! Something happened to the original, and I'm not sure what. So here is a re-post.
—-
Temperance Brennan was not a squeamish woman by anyone's standards. Blood, guts, and animal excrement were just evidence to her, nothing to be sick over. Just a natural part of the human life cycle.
This is why when nausea rolled through her at an early morning crime scene and suddenly her breakfast of eggs and toast were splattered across her gumboots, she knew something was very wrong.
"Whoa, Dr.B! Are you okay?" Jack Hodgin's asked, as his friend was bent over and the last of her stomach contents found their way to the ground. He knew the landfill they were in was particularly gnarly but Brennan did not get sick. Ever.
"Yes, I am fine, Hodgins. I must have eaten something that didn't agree with me." She said, her voice raspy from gagging. "This body is really more Cam's area of expertise. Too much flesh for me at this moment. I think I'm going to head home for the day."
Hodgin's eyebrows raised. Brennan was going to take a whole day off…willingly?
"Okay. Are you sure you are safe to drive? Maybe I should call Booth-"
"No." Brennan shook her head quickly. She was glad Booth had not arrived at the crime scene yet. "I'm fine. Please just tell Cam that I will try to come in this afternoon."
The entomologist held up his hands. "Yeah, alright. Just be safe."
She nodded, wiping at her mouth with the sleeve of her jumpsuit, before turning to walk to her car that was situated just outside the gates to the dump.
Brennan slid into the front seat of her car and closed her eyes as she leaned against the leather. Usually, Booth would have driven her to the crime scene for one of their cases. However, this morning he was dropping his girlfriend, Hannah, off at the airport before joining his team. So she had driven herself in her Prius, and she was very thankful for that. He would have been suspicious of her illness and hovering over her. She reopened her eyes, started her car, and drove to the nearest pharmacy.
—-
After staring at the two little pink lines of the pregnancy test she had taken, she had called her gynecologist, Doctor Burr, and was able to schedule an appointment for that day within an hour of her call. For once, she was happy to use her fame to get what she needed.
As she sat in the exam room after giving both a urine sample and having her blood drawn, she began to think back to how she was even in this situation.
Six weeks ago, she had gotten a call from Hannah. She told Brennan that Booth had just proposed to her and that she had said no, which resulted in him breaking up with her. The reporter told Brennan that her partner was distraught and that he really needed his best friend. So she had gone to him.
They both drank themselves under the table following his ultimatum. Stay and drink or get a new partner. She had chosen to drink. Tequila, always their drink of choice, was consumed in copious amounts until the bartender, someone who served them often, had called a cab to send them home.
Booth had insisted on going back to Brennan's. He didn't want the reminders of Hannah that filled his apartment, the memories he knew would haunt him.
They had stumbled through her apartment door, giggling and holding on to one another as they tried to find stable footing.
The pair landed on her couch, Brennan first then followed by Booth who landed face down on top of her. They laughed as he tried to push himself off of her, and struggled to do so. It was when their eyes met, faces just inches apart, that they sobered slightly. It seemed like every part of their bodies were pressed together, heat seeping through their clothes.
Booth's eyes flickered to her lips then back up, filled with determination. A switch seemed to flip as their innocent, giggly mood turned heated.
He had kissed her, his mouth claiming hers possessively. Nothing about what happened next could be called gentle. He did not make love to her as he had so often toted the importance of. He claimed her, rough and nearly animalistic She submitted to this side of him, encouraging him to take what he needed. Even in her alcohol-addled mind, Brennan trusted Booth completely.
She awoke a few hours later, somehow laying on top of her partner and sober enough to realize what they had done. Brennan eased herself off of him, trying not to wake him up. She gathered her discarded clothes from the floor where his pants and shirt were as well. At some point, he had pulled his boxers back on so, unlike her, he was not completely naked. Brennan pulled the blanket off the back of her couch, covering her partner with it.
Walking down the hallway, toward her bathroom, Brennan stopped in her laundry room to deposit her clothes in the washer before hopping into her shower.
The hot water did wonders for the soreness she felt throughout her body. She knew that they had been…intimate but it was becoming apparent to her that it might have been a little rougher than she was used to. There were bruises in the shape of fingers, Booth's fingers, on the sides of her hips where he had gripped her, and a smattering of hickeys dotted her chest. He had left his mark on her. Not that she minded, and she knew that Booth, even drunk, would never do anything intentionally to hurt her. However, he would not react well to dark, angry-looking bruises that lined her body so she decided to hide them, and never bring them up to him.
Then her mind shifted to how angry he would probably be at himself for how their first time together happened. Drunk and on her living room sofa. To her, it was beautiful because it had been between them. He would not see it the same way.
Booth was a romantic, favoring gentleness and love to counteract the violence that surrounded him. To him, what they had done and how they had done it, would be a mistake…yet another thing for him to repent for.
Suddenly, she hoped that maybe he would not remember. That the alcohol would erase his memory of last night and she could just tell him that she slept in her own bed and not, in fact, naked on top of him.
She returned to the living room after drying herself off and dressing in comfortable clothing, to find Booth fully dressed in his rumpled clothing from the night before. He looked up as she came around the side of the couch, and managed a weak smile.
"We really need to lay off the tequila, huh?" He joked, wincing at the sound of his own voice that vibrated his already aching head.
She smiled at him and sat in her armchair a little way away from him. "How are you feeling?"
"Like my brain has lumberjack hacking at it with an ax. You?"
"I seem not to be experiencing the effects of veisalgia the way one might expect after consuming copious amounts of alcohol." She responded.
He chuckled, nodding knowingly. It was so like Bones to use the scientific word for a hangover.
Booth looked her over, taking in her wet hair and fresh clothes. She was a beautiful woman, he knew that, but there was something so effortless about her beauty that morning that made his heart skip.
"I should probably head home." He said, standing from the couch.
She stood as well and followed him to the door as she usually did. Their routine when he left her apartment was that she follow him to the door to latch it behind him as he left. It was a relic of past long nights that turned into early mornings after paperwork and Thai food, but something about repeating it now felt right.
They stood at the door for a moment, facing each other.
She nervously shifted on her bare feet, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. His eyes were drawn by the action and shifted down her neck. There was a large red mark near the base of her throat that look suspiciously like a hickey.
His eyes widened as he took a step forward, placing a hand on the mark. "Where the hell did that come from?"
Brennan was confused. "Where did what come from?"
"The bruise on your neck, Bones!"
It took her a minute to process what he was asking and then to come up with a good excuse.
"My flat iron! I burned myself with it the other day and covered it with makeup for work yesterday."She explained.
Booth winced, stepping back "Ow…you should put some burn cream on that. Doesn't look like it's healing very well."
"I will."
"Good…look Bones, thank you for being there for me last night. I couldn't have been much fun to be around but you stayed with me and I appreciate it. I hope I didn't do anything too embarrassing or regrettable" He told her.
He didn't seem to remember and she wanted to keep it that way. "Well…we're partners, right? It's what we do."
—-
A few days later, Hannah had returned. She and Booth decided to go back to how things were, just dating and living together with no rush towards anything more serious. Brennan, though she had never had any intentions of bringing up that night again to Booth, had felt physically ill when she heard the news. Even she knew that sleeping with your friend's temporary ex was against something that Angela referred to as girl code. She hadn't even waited a full 24 hours after their breakup. This made her even more intent on keeping it a secret.
This newest development in her life, however, would make that impossible.
Doctor Burr entered the room, clipboard in hand. "Hey, Tempe. We just got the results back from your urinalysis and HGC test…you are in fact pregnant."
Brennan took a deep breath to gain her composure. "That is…as I expected."
"Now as we discussed, you do have a variety of options. You are still in the window for termination. Or if you would like, we can set up some prenatal appointments for you today for different screenings and ultrasounds. It is completely your decision."
The anthropologist felt her eyes water. She could make this all go away. Booth would never have to know what they had done, or about the result of that night. She was very firmly pro-choice when applied to other people, but for herself? She had wanted a child for a long time and while this would complicate things in her life, it may be her only opportunity. Booth would have to be informed because she could not be like Rebecca. He would want to know his child, their child.
"Thank you, I want to set up the appointments."
After stopping at the front desk to schedule her appointments, she stepped out of the building and leaned against the brick. Her calm demeanor melted away. Tears were rolling down her face as she frantically scrolled through her phone to dial the first person she could think of.
"Angela?" she asked her best friend. "Can you come to get me?"
—-
Earlier that day
Seeley Booth was not having a good day. He'd had to wake up early to drop his girlfriend off at the airport for her a two day trip to cover some peace summit that was being held in a country that he didn't even know existed, which meant he would be alone for the next few days. Then he received a call about a dead body he would need to go with his team to check out after Hannah's plane took off. A murder meant working overtime and sleeping even less than he had been. Every night since he and Hannah's break up and then subsequent reunion, he'd had a very vivid, recurring dream…about his partner. He had always had very realistic dreams and nightmares alike, but if he didn't know any better this could be a memory. It was always the same two alternating scenes. Him on top of her, thrusting into her as he pressed her into her couch. Or her above him, as he gripped her hips with his fingers and slammed her down on top of him, over and over again.
He always woke up, sweaty and unsatisfied, feeling dirty for what his mind had created and wouldn't let go of. He even had tried to recreate the scenarios with Hannah, but it was never right enough to satisfy him.
Booth had naughty dreams before, about other women and certainly his partner, but this felt different. He just couldn't figure out why.
He tried to pull himself away from thinking about it as he pulled up to the landfill. Various squints in Jeffersonian jumpsuits and FBI techs milled about the area, collecting samples and taking pictures of the scene. He spotted Cam, who was squatted over the body, and Hodgins who was with her. His partner was nowhere in sight.
Hodgins noticed him approaching first and acknowledged Booth with a grin.
"Booth, this scene is an entomologist's wet dream, dude."
Cam, stood and looked at her employee with disgust. "Hodgins, what have I said about you making comments like that over a dead body." then she turned to greet Booth as well.
"Where is Bones?" he asked, ignoring the Bugman.
" is not feeling well, she took the morning off." The pathologist responded.
"She's sick?" he asked, incredulous.
"Yeah, man. You should have seen her. Totally upchucked all over the ground over there. She thinks she ate something bad but said she would try to be in this afternoon."
"This body was more for me anyway. Too many fleshy bits for Brennan."
Booth sighed. That was strike three for the day. No girlfriend, no sleep, and no Bones. He really didn't think the day could suck any more than it already did.
—-
The morning had dragged on as Booth waited for an ID on their victim so he could actually do his job. It was 2 PM now and he was still waiting. He had texted Bones, five times, with no response. He idly scrolled through the messages he had sent her, wondering if he needed to go to her apartment to check on her.
His phone pinged, and for a moment he thought it might be his partner. It was Cam, letting him know that they had a DNA match for their victim. He texted back, standing from his office chair and grabbing his suit jacket, that he was on his way to the lab.
Once he was there, he scoped the platform for his partner. She wasn't there.
Hodgin's, who was on the platform, greeted him and noticed that he was searching for the resident anthropologist.
"She and Angela are in her office. They've been locked up tight in there since lunch."
"What? Why?" Booth asked.
"I'm not sure," Hodgins responded. "Dr. B called Angela around eleven and asked her to come to pick her up. They got back here at one and shut themselves in her office. Brennan's been crying, though, so you might want to check on her."
"Yeah uh…thanks, Hodgin's." He said, turning and walking towards Brennan's office. What could be wrong that would have Brennan crying and taking time off work? And why had she called Angela, and not him? A year ago, it would have been him.
He gently pushed her office door open, peering into the dark room. He could see Angela sitting on the couch, with Brennan's head near her lap. The artist half turned to look at him, making a "shh" motion with her finger as he walked around the front of the couch. He could see Bones' face in the dim light of her office lamp, tears wet on her face as she slept.
"Ang…" he whispered. "What's wrong with her?"
Angela, who also had tears in her eyes, simply shook her head. "You'll have to ask her but…she needs you, Booth."
This caused panic to course through his body. It was something bad then, something life-altering or earthshaking bad.
"Is she okay? Is she hurt?" He asked.
"She's fine, physically. But like I said, she needs you right now. She needs the old Booth."
He looked at Angela, hurt by the implication of her words even though he knew them to be true.
"She wanted me to wake her if you came by, she just looks so peaceful like this." She said, in an almost motherly tone.
"Yeah, she always does when she is asleep," he answered, without thinking. He leaned forward, brushing a piece of hair from Brennan's face.
Angela leaned forward, gesturing for help standing up as her belly made doing so alone hard. Booth obliged, helping her up and steadying her.
"I'm going to go to my office. Talk to her, please." the artist begged him.
He nodded, releasing her hand and watching her waddle out the door before turning to look back down at Brennan. He squatted next to her, shaking her as gently as he could to get her to wake up.
"Booth?" she murmured, hoarsely, her bright blue eyes staring up at him.
"Hey there, sleepyhead. Why don't you sit up for me?" He suggested. She did, stretching as she sat up. He stayed, kneeling in front of her but placing a hand on her knee.
"What time is it?"
"Almost 3 P.M.," He told her."How was your nap?"
"I still feel…restless." She admitted, folding her hands in her lap.
"What's going on, Bones? They told me you got sick at the crime scene today and then I find out you've been crying in your office. Angela wouldn't tell me what was wrong. Are you sick? Is it something bad?" He was nauseous at the idea of Brennan having some terminal mystery illness.
"No, Booth, I'm not sick. I did throw up at the crime scene today though but not because of any illness."
"Then what is it? I'm going a little crazy here with worry."
Her lips quivered as she stared into his eyes. "I'm pregnant, Booth."
The agent felt like he had been punched in the gut. Pregnant? His partner, his Bones, was pregnant? He hadn't even known she was seeing anyone.
"Are you… happy about this?" He asked carefully, trying to keep his emotions from his voice.
"I'm not sure how to feel," she admitted.
"What about the father? Have you told him yet?" He questioned. Whoever the son of a bitch was, he better had reacted well, and been planning to step up.
Brennan sobbed, her eyes closing as she bowed her head.
"Hey, hey Bones…what happened? Did…did someone hurt you?" He asked, anger welling in his chest. The idea that someone might have violated his partner made his blood boil.
"No, Booth. You are the father," she said, through her tears.
Booth furrowed his brow in confusion. There was no way that was possible unless…
Flashes of his dreams went through his mind. Had it all actually been real? His thoughts went to the mark that was on her neck the morning after Hannah rejected his proposal. It had been a hickey and not a burn. Nausea rolled through him as he realized that yes, he had in fact roughly fucked his partner in her living room while they were both drunk on tequila. And his partner had covered for him.
It was his turn to cry, a choked sob passing his lips as he place his head against Brennan's knee, almost as though bowed in prayer.
"Bones, I'm so sorry. I can't believe I- god, I took advantage of you. How have you even been able to stand looking at me?"
Brennan blinked, processing his words. He thought that he assaulted her? She moved quickly, so that she was on the floor with him, and made him look her in the eye by tilting his chin up.
"No. No, Booth. It wasn't like that. I wanted it. I wanted you. You would never- you didn't hurt me, I promise." She soothed him.
The storm in his dark eyes seemed to settle at her words. "You swear?" he demanded, shaking as he reached out to cup her face.
"Yes, Booth. I wouldn't lie to you."
He seemed to accept her answer, nodding. "Okay, I believe you."
They sat together on her office floor for a minute.
"Will you keep the uh…?"
"Fetus? Yes. That is my plan. I know what your religious views say about termination but also I want to have a child, Booth. No matter how they came about, they are still half you and half me. Just like I wanted when I asked for your sperm."
He cracked a shadow of a smile then, reaching to touch her still flat belly and resting his palm there.
"A baby." He whispered, grinning like a fool.
Despite his initial despair, he was starting to feel a wave of happiness wash over him. His Bones was having his baby. Just like in his coma dream. He wanted to kiss her, pull her into his arms, and just stay like that forever. It was like everything he had ever dreamed of was finally coming true…but reality had a funny way of getting in the way.
"I know this complicates things." She told him. "And I want you to know that I don't expect you to leave Hannah. I know that you love her…maybe we can work something out, the three of us. I hope she won't hate me."
Booth's smile fell, and he pulled back ever so subtly. Somewhere between his fear turning into absolute joy…he had forgotten about Hannah.
—-
A/N: This is definitely a little darker than Catalyst to Change, I know. But the story would not leave me alone! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, please tell me your thoughts! I might write the actual smut that happened between Booth and Brennan later on if anyone is interested! I plan to work on Chapter 7 of Catalyst tomorrow!