Loud House Fanfic: Reversal of Fortune: Chapter 1: The Last Straw

Opening A/N: Yeah, yeah, NSL's been done to death. But it usually follows the same formulas:

1. The sisters suddenly have a "Come to Jesus" moment where they realize they're wrong, & St. Lincoln automatically forgives them because he's "just that good."

2. The sisters have the same "Come to Jesus" moment, & Lincoln makes them "earn" his forgiveness, which usually comes after a day & some gifts that mesh with his personality.

3. Something bad happens to Lincoln, the family gets arrested & shunned, but eventually everybody lets it go & they get the "Family Guy 7-day murder sentence": "They'll be out next Sunday at 9."

4. St. Lincoln & his companion, St. Luna the High Priest of Kindness, are the only ones to see through the insanity & thanks to their "Special Sibling Bond," end up bringing the rest of their family to their senses, & everybody lives happily ever after.

This is NOT one of those fics. What a lot of these fics fail to account for is the fact that the Louds, in NSL, were in what I like to call, "insane NSL mode." Basically, to them, luck was the most important factor to happiness. Anything that got in the way of that was to be crushed, outcasted, and in Lincoln's case, trapped in an unsanitary, hot "squirrel suit" all day for Savino knows how long. When the Louds think like that towards their ONLY SON AND BROTHER, them talking it out, hugging it out, forgiving each other, and mercifully letting Lincoln out of the squirrel suit is not going to happen. Never mind everything else that happened in that episode. Also, I don't think they'd instantly break out of their "insane NSL mode", even if Lincoln did run away. Given how they treated Lincoln in Seasons 1 & 2, I feel like if Lincoln ran away while in the squirrel suit, the Louds would view it as Lincoln not wanting to fulfill his duty to his family of being good luck. With how badly the Loud sisters already tended to think of Lincoln, running away would basically amount to treason on Lincoln's part. So, to them, as if it's not enough that Lincoln is selfish, he's also a traitor to the Louds. I also think the Louds would be so blinded by luck that they wouldn't see what they were doing wrong in keeping Lincoln in a squirrel suit all day.

Also, keep in mind that while this fic is mainly about NSL, it's NOT JUST about NSL. It's about EVERYTHING the Louds had done up to that point: Brawl in the Family, April Fools' Rules, Sleuth or Consequences, Making the Grade, Lincoln Loud: Girl Guru, etc.

This fic does play around with canon a little, but it also aims to capture what might have happened if the Loud sisters stayed in insane NSL mode instead of realizing that a squirrel suit did not affect how lucky/unlucky Lincoln was.

Also, as a prologue to this story, read "Reversal of Fortune's official prologue" by DJ Sprouts.

This is not a late 2010's NSL fic. You have been warned.

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 2; 2:00 PM
HURON BEACH, MICHIGAN; 65 MILES NORTH OF ROYAL WOODS

As Lincoln waddled around the hot beach in an even hotter squirrel mascot suit, he begged his family, "Can I at least have a minute outside of this suit to get a breath of fresh air? This thing is hot & I'm really sweating!"

All of the Louds immediately yelled, "NO!", and proceeded to give bizarre and horrible reasons why Lincoln had to stay in the suit.

Lynn Sr. cried, "Vanzilla might break down!"

Rita cried, "I might get struck by lightning!"

Lori cried, "We might literally get rained on!"

Leni cried, "My sandcastle might get knocked down!"

Luna cried, "I might get sand in my ears!"

Luan punned, "You can't 'squirrel' your way out of this now!"

Lynn Jr. yelled, "Shut up, Jinx-oln!"

Lucy blankly said, "I might get a sunburn."

Lana worried, "I won't find any seashells!"

Lola panicked, "This flawless complexion, ruined!"

Lisa cried, "My scientific studies would be ruined!"

Lily cried, "Poo-poo!"

Lincoln's rage grew with each excuse he heard from his family. As Lincoln pondered his next move, everything he had been through with his family came back to him. The Sister Fight Protocol. The "Sweet Spot" incident. The money incident. The Princess Pony toilet-clogging incident, which the sisters still regularly taunted him for. The girls eating his chocolate, then laughing at him for being a failed Girl Guru. The earbuds incident. The April Fools' Day pranks. Running Clyde's parents ragged. The limo incident. The video incident. The underwear bet. The pool incidents. The tie incident. The failed photoshoot. "Take Your Daughter to Work Day," which even he didn't believe at the time because he saw social media posts of a few of Lynn Sr.'s coworkers' sons at his workplace. The camping trip. The time Lisa tried to join his grade, only to turn him into an outcast both in school and at home. The tracking chip Lisa put inside of Lincoln's brain. The elaborate surveillance system Lisa had set up with Luan's help. His sisters running all over him when he tried to take charge of the house, and Lori's smug grin when he failed. All the school projects destroyed. All the homework notes and late slips he received because of his family's antics. And the constant, mocking laughter that assaulted his ears every day.

As if all that wasn't enough, Lincoln had been locked out of his house just because he lied to his family about being "bad luck" to get out of their events and get some "him time". When Lincoln fessed up to the lie, his family didn't believe him until he showed himself in a squirrel mascot suit after Lynn Jr. hit a walk-off home run. When the Louds finally apologized to Lincoln, they also revealed that they sold Lincoln's furniture. After that, they proclaimed that he could only be around them as a "good luck charm" if he wore the squirrel suit. To the Louds, Lincoln was still bad luck otherwise. Any revenge fantasies Lincoln entertained were quickly quashed when he realized that he wouldn't stand a chance with either directly confronting his family or subtly letting them know how much he hated the situation. So, with continuing to play along being his only option, he desperately asked his family for the only right of his that he thought they still respected.

Lincoln told his family with the calmest and happiest voice he could muster, "I have to use the bathroom."

His sisters immediately erupted in protest, and his parents initially cast disapproving glances at him. Not even desperately dancing around holding his private parts was enough for Lincoln to convince his family that his bladder was full. As a matter of fact, it egged them on.

Lynn Jr. huffed, "Pee in the squirrel suit, for all I care. We need your good luck!"

The Loud sisters initially yelled, "YEAH!", before Lola asked, "Wait, did she just say Linky should pee in the squirrel suit?"

All the Loud sisters, except for Lynn Jr., Lisa, and Lana, immediately yelled, "EWW!", in realization.

Lisa deadpanned, "Highly unsanitary."

The Loud parents traded glances at their daughters' complaints. Lynn Sr. then whispered to a glaring Rita, "Honey, I think we should let him go. He doesn't take long!"

Lincoln then threatened, "I'll pee in this squirrel suit if I have to!"

The Loud parents gasped at Lincoln's threat. Lynn Sr. suggested to Rita, "Doesn't do us any good if he has to be out of the squirrel suit, cleaning it up! Besides, when a man's gotta go, a man's gotta go!"

In response, Rita sighed, "Fine, but only 5 minutes, got that?"

Lincoln groaned, "Yes, mom."

Rita sternly responded, "Good," before Lincoln thanked her and started walking away from his family.

Lynn Sr. called after Lincoln, "And you'd BETTER be back here in 5 minutes!", while flashing his watch to emphasize that he was serious.

The Loud sisters concurred as one, "YEAH! WE NEED YOUR GOOD LUCK!", causing Lincoln to groan in exasperation.

As Lincoln walked to the bathroom at the beach's entrance/exit, he briefly reflected on his relationships with his family and the people around him. After remembering everything the people in his life had put him through, and their lack of remorse for it all, Lincoln concluded: It was all his sisters' fault. And they needed to pay.

As soon as Lincoln entered the bathroom, he furiously tore the suit off, threw it in the garbage, and sprinted away from the beach as fast as possible. Every time he wanted to stop, he remembered all the times his sisters and parents mistreated him to motivate him. With Clyde out of town for the weekend, Lincoln initially planned to go to the Sunset Canyon Retirement Home, hoping that maybe Pop-Pop would knock some sense into his treasonous genetic relatives. However, after about 500 yards, Lincoln cramped up in exhaustion, causing him to absentmindedly curve ever so slightly away from the grass and onto the road leading to the beach.

In Lincoln's absentmindedness, he failed to notice a car barreling directly at him.

(Scene Change: Michigan Highway 25, about a mile south of Huron Beach)

The Sweetwaters were your average upper middle class family going on your average upper middle class late summer beach vacation. Nestled comfortably in their leather-clad white van, they were getting ready to have some last-minute "fun in the sun" before autumn made it impossible to wear a bikini without freezing over. As the kids here would often say, it could get "so cold in the D." How the fuck were they supposed to keep peace?

For what it was worth, they were doing a pretty good job of it. Driving this family was a fair-skinned, extremely well-built, extraordinarily tall man with short red hair, a thick mustache, and a thick soul patch. His name was Brian. As a rockstar computer programmer who eventually became his company's Chief Information Officer, Brian was the family's breadwinner. In his spare time, he enjoyed basketball, reading Ace Savvy comics, and spending time with his family. He had even taken a couple of the comics with him for the trip, and was wearing Michigan Wolverines-themed swim trunks. In college, Brian met and fell in love with the woman now riding shotgun in the van: his wife, Linda. Linda was a lanky, hourglass-figured, fair-skinned, somewhat tall woman with shoulder-length orange hair, wearing a 2-piece blue-gray bikini. As the editor-in-chief of the Royal Woods Gazette, Linda was always on top of Royal Woods' latest news & gossip. The couple's 3 daughters sat behind them, also eagerly anticipating this vacation.

The oldest child, on the passenger's side of the first row of van seats, was Becky: a tall, slim 17-year-old high school senior dressed in a two-piece bikini with light green and aqua stripes. She had inherited her mother's looks and her father's interests, hair color, and nerdy personality. As a result, she was considered one of the most attractive and sought-after girls at Royal Woods High School. She was a regular fixture at parties, and was embraced by much of the student body for being the captain of the school's basketball and volleyball teams and a fan of nerdy hobbies such as video games, Ace Savvy, Rip Hardcore, and ARGGH!. As the oldest child, Becky passed down her interests, knowledge, and life advice to her younger sisters, who idolized her for it.

The middle child, both in terms of birth order and seating, was the strawberry blonde-haired 10-year-old Paige, who was wearing a kiddie yellow two-piece bikini. Known for being one of the best "Dance Battle" players in town, she was a regular at Gus' Games & Grub, a consistent "B" student, and a former beauty pageant participant. Consequently, she was a relatively popular girl.

The youngest child of the trio, seated to the left of Paige and behind Brian, was orange-haired 6-year-old Lindsay. She was a consistent beauty pageant runner-up dressed in a teal swimsuit. Normally, she'd be plotting on how to beat Lola Loud in her next beauty pageant.

Currently, though, Lindsay was fidgeting in her seat while whining, "I want ice cream!"

Linda sighed, "Calm down, sweetie, there'll be plenty of frozen treats at the beach! Besides, you should have told us on the way there while we passed by Aunt Pam's Parlor. We asked you and you said no."

Lindsay insisted, "I! WANT! ICE CREAM!"

Becky groaned before gently suggesting, "Linds, you know they have those slushies and popsicles at the beach you like. We'll get them for you… for all of us. Does that sound good?"

Lindsay collapsed into her seat, crossed her arms, and huffed, "Fine. Stupid slushies. Stupid popsicles."

Paige mischievously joked back, "I heard that! You know you like them."

Lindsay, knowing she was defeated and outnumbered in this argument, slumped further into her seat and let her pout grow, ignoring Paige's half-mocking plea to "not be like that".

While all that was going on, Linda noticed a fair-skinned, white-haired boy in orange swim trunks walking right onto the middle of the road, seemingly on the brink of fainting.

When Linda saw the boy continuing to walk onto the middle of the road, she shrieked, "Honey, look out! STOP THE CAR!"

As Brian noticed the speed, direction, and aimlessness of the boy's walk, he realized that he was driving too fast, and that he was going to hit the boy.

Brian slammed on the brakes and warned his kids, "Brace yourselves! We're gonna hit someone!", causing them to start freaking out and screaming themselves.

Meanwhile, Lincoln noticed the asphalt underneath him, once burned and brightened by the searing sun above him, start to darken. Confused and exhausted, Lincoln peeked up, only to find a white van barreling down the road, seemingly headed straight for him. In a flash, he froze, his fight-or-flight response too overwhelmed from the previous week's turmoil to really register or react to the threat. As the car continued to get closer to him, and the screeches of said car's brakes grew louder and louder, he bitterly hoped that his so-called family wouldn't find his mangled body. Finally, as the car closed in on Lincoln, he closed his eyes and braced himself for the hit.

And then… nothing. When the screeching of the car's brakes stopped, Lincoln stood motionless for a second before deciding it was safe to open his eyes. When he did, he felt a weird combination of shock, relief, and anguish. The car had stopped mere inches away from his face, keeping him both alive and unharmed. Lincoln started to hyperventilate before ultimately collapsing onto the hot asphalt from the combination of his own stress and the heat exhaustion he was feeling from wearing the squirrel mascot suit for basically the entire weekend leading up to that point.

When Lincoln fainted, the entire Sweetwater family gasped in horror and concern for the poor boy.

Brian firmly told his kids, "Stay here!"

Becky, Paige, and Lindsay, too stunned to even move, silently heeded Brian's words while Brian and Linda scanned their surroundings. When the Sweetwater parents were sure the coast was clear, they slammed their van doors open and rushed out towards Lincoln.

Linda shrieked, "Oh my god!"

Brian exclaimed, "Kid, are you OK? Where are your parents?"

Brian's question caused Lincoln's eyes to pop open as he regained awareness of the full weight of his situation. In Lincoln's state of mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion and distress, he began to weep into Brian's legs. In response, Brian decided to pick Lincoln up and cradle him while he and Linda checked Lincoln for signs of physical sickness.

After Linda felt Lincoln's forehead, she gasped, "Oh my god, you're getting a fever!"

When Brian saw the sunburn and light bruising and scarring covering Lincoln's body, he fretted, "And those rashes! They don't look good!"

Linda exclaimed, "You've got to go the hospital, now!"

Lincoln weakly begged the Sweetwater parents, "T-the doctor? D-d-don't take me home. D-don't tell my parents. P-please. D-don't make me go back there! G-get me away from them!"

Linda cried, "Oh my god! What's wrong?! What happened to you?!"

Lincoln slurred deliriously, "B-bad people. Ch-chasing me. Squirrel suit. Go."

Knowing Lincoln was not fully composed, and not bothering to question it, Brian and Linda scanned the road for oncoming traffic. When the Sweetwater parents saw the road was clear, they carried him into their car and hoisted him into the van's back seat. Once they buckled Lincoln's seatbelt, they cranked the A/C up and opened the window to give him some fresh, cool air. Once seated, Lincoln slumped, barely able to keep himself upright from the stress of the whole experience. He remained this way even as Brian quickly turned the car around & sped off in the opposite direction, hoping not to run into any more unfortunate kids like Lincoln. The next couple of minutes were totally silent as every Sweetwater except for Brian intently watched Lincoln.

Lincoln panted as he opened his eyes to focus on his surroundings. He noticed that he was in a comfortable van. Not Vanzilla, but an actual working van with working A/C and comfortable, non-crooked leather upholstery. To the left of him was bags full of his rescuers' beach equipment and clothes. In front of him was an extremely tall, red-haired man aggressively gripping the steering wheel, and four red-haired females, all of which he either knew or had seen at some point in his life, looking back at him with genuine concern as he struggled to wake up.

As Lincoln slowly opened his eyes, he noticed a voice calling out to him, "L-L-Lincoln? Lincoln Loud?"

It took Lincoln a couple of seconds before he could process where the voice calling his name came from. When he followed the sound of the voice, he saw a little orange-haired girl, about 6 years of age, fearing for his well-being. As Lincoln's eyes focused on the girl and made out her features, he immediately recognized her as Lindsay Sweetwater, and the other people seated next to her in front of him as Becky and Paige. When Lincoln recognized another orange-haired woman looking concernedly at him from the shotgun seat, he presumed that said woman was the mother of at least one of these girls. Lincoln also presumed that the extremely tall red-haired man driving everyone home was the woman's husband.

When Lincoln saw the Sweetwater siblings, he asked, "L-Lindsay Sweetwater? Paige? Becky? What are you doing here? Together? As a matter of fact, what am I doing here?"

Paige deadpanned, "We could be asking you the same thing."

Lincoln responded, "No. What are you three doing here? Together?"

Paige sighed, "You don't remember? Fourth grade yearbook? Paige Sweetwater?"

Lincoln remembered, "Oh yeah," before sputtering, "Wait… Becky and Lindsay are your sisters?"

Paige nodded, "Mm-hmm."

Lincoln exclaimed, "I thought that was just a coincidence!"

Lindsay replied, "Well, now you know."

Becky then interjected, "Speaking of sisters, where are your sisters & parents, Lincoln? Or any of your friends? I hardly ever see you out alone, much less this far from home. What's going on? Should I call Lori for you? Or Leni?"

As soon as Becky uttered those names, Lincoln's face flushed almost completely red with anger. However, knowing Becky might not be ready for the whole truth, and not wanting Lori or Leni to find him, he distraughtly panted, "No, I'm exhausted. Let me sleep. Please."

The rest of the drive back to the Sweetwater house was tense and silent. Brian didn't even put on any music for his family to listen to as he decided to use the time to collect his thoughts.

(Scene Change: Huron Beach)

"Alright Lincoln, it's been 5 minutes! Get back here! And make sure you have that squirrel suit on!", Lynn Sr. shouted as he checked his watch.

When his wife and daughters didn't see Lincoln, they immediately cried out in panicked protest.

Lynn Sr. rallied his family, "Don't worry, kids, we'll find our good luck charm!", to which his wife & daughters cheered.

Lisa started, "Family, if I may-", as the rest of her family scattered in all directions. After Lisa coughed up the sand the Louds kicked in her face, she said to herself, "Dang it. I was gonna tell them about the tracking chips. Ah well," before also running off to try to find Lincoln.

Between the various water sports teams headquartered at the beach, the fast-food shacks lining the beach, and the facilities offered by the beach itself, Huron Beach had 8 sets of bathrooms. Each family member thoroughly combed every building on the beach, along with the beach itself, looking for their good luck charm.

Lynn Sr. called out, "Lincoln, my boy, where are you?"

Rita cried, "Lincoln? Lincoln?"

Lori yelled, "Twerp, we need your good luck!"

Leni begged, "Linky! Linky, come out!"

Luna pleaded, "Linc, come on bro! Our family needs your good luck!"

Luan quipped, "Lincoln, come on? We'd be 'drained' without you! Hahahaha, get it?"

Lynn Jr. shouted, "Come on, Stinkoln! Tryna catch a big wave out here!"

Lucy said, "I ask the spirits' assistance in finding our good luck charm!"

Lana proclaimed, "If you fell in, I'm gonna dig you outta there even if I die trying!"

Lola threatened, "LINKY, IF YOU DON'T COME OUT RIGHT NOW!"

Lisa boasted, "Don't worry, family units! I'll find Lincoln in no time!"

Lily babbled, "Incon! Ba wuck! Quiwa gu wuck! Incon!"

As Leni ran into the girls' bathroom of the Huron Kayaking Association's headquarters to look for Lincoln, Lori sighed, "Leni, Lincoln's a boy. He would be in the boys' bathroom," before muttering to herself, "Unless he's gender-confused."

Leni chirped, "Oh, sorry," as she ran out of the bathroom.

Unfortunately for the Louds, their search for Lincoln would come to a short & untimely end. During their frantic search for their "good luck charm", numerous doors were kicked, punched, slammed, and/or literally torn open, mostly thanks to Lynn. Multiple bathroom-goers freaked out at having their privacy violated, and several Loud sisters had to go into neighboring stalls a couple of times to throw up after what they had seen. The Louds acted so crazed in their search of Lincoln that they forgot to flush their vomit. These actions caused said bathroom-goers to report the Louds to the beach's numerous workers, ranging from lifeguards to the front-desk lady, vowing they'd "never come back again."

As the Louds ran from the bathrooms back to the beach, a lifeguard yelled at them, "LOUD FAMILY, OUT!"

When Lori tried to protest, "But we were just looking for our brother!", the lifeguard scolded them, "Yeah, but violating others' bathroom privacy & destroying bathroom property is NOT the way to do it!"

When a blonde ponytail-haired teen at the front desk slammed the door shut on the Louds a couple of minutes later, the Loud sisters immediately started furiously slamming their fists on the door, begging her to let them back inside.

Lynn Jr. snapped, "THAT LITTLE JINX! I'M GONNA KILL HIM! I'M GONNA STRANGLE HIM, THEN BURY HIM, DIG HIM UP & CLONE HIM, & THEN KILL ALL HIS CLONES!"

Lori growled, "I'M GONNA LITERALLY TURN HIM INTO A HUMAN PRETZEL! AND THEN I'M NEVER GONNA TALK TO THAT TWERP AGAIN!"

Lola shrieked, "WHEN WE FIND HIM, HE IS SO DEAD! PROBABLY TOOK OFF THE SUIT, TOO!"

Luna roared, "YEAH, I'M GONNA GIVE HIM MY 'AXE' RIGHT TO THE FACE!"

Luan threatened, "NEXT APRIL 1, HE'S MY 'NUMBER ONE' TARGET! NOT MY 'NUMBER TWO!'"

Lisa then calmly but furiously snarled, "I can help you out with those clones, Lynn. No catch this time."

Lucy viciously muttered, "I will summon dark spirits to curse you to an eternity of damnation, Lincoln."

Lana yelled, "COME OUT, SQUIRREL BOY! AND WE WON'T MAKE IT HURT TOO MUCH!"

Leni cried, "LINKY! COME BACK! WE LOVE YOU! JUST PUT THE CUTE SQUIRREL SUIT ON!"

Lynn Sr. begged, "Please, let us find our goo-I mean son. We don't know where he is."

Rita, who was holding Lily, cried, "My baby boy! Bring him back to us! He's wearing a squirrel suit!"

The front desk girl yelled, "Not until your daughters calm down! They're wild animals!"

As Rita watched her daughters, she sighed in frustration before whistling loudly to get her daughters' attention. When Rita saw her daughters' eyes on her, she yelled, "You girls got us kicked out of yet ANOTHER place! And your behavior isn't helping find your only brother and good luck charm!"

Lynn Jr. grumbled, "But Stinkoln-", before Rita angrily pointed at the family van and ominously warned her daughters, "Get in Vanzilla now before Dad & I show you what real bad luck is."

While boarding Vanzilla, the girls moaned and mumbled curse words about everyone at the beach.

Rita then straightened, nervously laughed, and explained, "As you can see, my daughters love their good luck, erm, I mean, brother! Can you please help us find him?"

The blonde sighed, "Fine, we'll search for him. Give us a description of your boy, your phone number and address, and we'll give you a call as soon as we find him."

Rita frantically gave the blonde her house's phone number and address, in addition to a visual description of Lincoln and his squirrel suit. Immediately afterward, the front desk girl commanded the family to leave. When she did, Rita & Lynn Sr. then put Lily in her car seat and shuffled to Vanzilla before driving to Royal Woods.

As the Louds took off, Lynn Jr. venomously spat, "Where? Is? That? Little? Jinx?"

Lynn Sr. sighed before pointing out, "Because of that attitude, you got us kicked out of the only place we could find him! Now, we're going to have to wait for some ding-danged beach worker, who probably doesn't even know what she's doing, to find OUR GOOD LUCK CHARM! AND SON! Because of YOUR attitude, Junior, we're not going to have good luck!"

Lori then threatened, "Yeah, maybe you're the unlucky one, Lynn. Let's throw you out next," to which the rest of the Loud sisters mockingly laughed at Lynn Jr.

Lynn Jr. fired back, "You know I can kick all your asses, right?"

Lori then pressured, "You on tip. It's 9-against-1. I'd like to see you try."

Lynn Jr. seethed, "When we get home, you're in for it, bitch."

Rita exasperatedly slumped into the shotgun seat as yet another drive turned into a nonstop circus. Lisa tried to make herself heard above the cacophony by starting, "If I may-", to which the rest of the Loud sisters yelled, "SHUT UP, LISA!"

Lynn Sr. gently encouraged, "Lisa, honey, we know you're concerned about the state of Vanzilla, but trust me, this thing is running just-", before noticing the engine start to sputter out.

After Vanzilla grinded to a halt, the rest of the Louds groaned in unison, "Dang it."

Lana then showed off her toolbox as she assured the Louds, "No worries, I've got this."

Lisa scoffed at Lana, "You'd better," before starting to drone on about the numerous weak points of Vanzilla. Thankfully for the rest of the Louds, the Loud sisters quickly drowned Lisa out with their own antics. Lynn Jr. kicked any seat she could and fought with Lucy to blow off steam. Luan didn't stop making annoying puns about her 'missing Linc'. Lily had to have her diaper changed at least once. Luna continued to reinforce the meaning of her family's name with her singing. Lori farted in the car and puked on a fortunately empty seat whenever Vanzilla screeched to a halt. And finally, every sister in the car viciously argued with each other about who would beat who in a fight.

Meanwhile, back at Huron Beach, the front desk teen blonde picked up her phone to call 911 before her phone's alarm tone blared, startling her. As the blonde processed the specific alarm tone emanating from her cellphone and reached to pull said phone out of her pocket, she knowingly smiled to herself a little. The text on her phone screen, which read, "End of shift," confirmed that she had good reason to smile. As soon as the blonde turned the alarm off, she found herself annoyed by the countless SwiftyPic notifications that each signaled a thirsty dude liking her latest pic. While scrolling past that deluge, she found a text from a groupchat of her best friends since kindergarten. Said text reminded her that it was her bestie's 17th birthday, and they were going to the local Cherry Hornet's to celebrate. After double-checking the date and time on her phone to confirm her friends had the correct time, which they did, she briefly considered calling 911 to notify them of the disappearance of the son of the middle-aged couple she had just been talking to. But after recalling the antics and threats of said couple's daughters, she muttered to herself, "Not my problem," before standing up and walking away from her desk.

She would not alert authorities of Lincoln Loud's "disappearance" that day.

Closing A/N (July 20, 2022): Moved my original BTS chapter here. Also, combined my original first, second, & fifth chapters into this one, with the exception of the original fifth chapter's (Premonition) ending scene with Lucy. So here's my story's setup:

When the Luck incident happened & Lincoln was locked outside, Lynn is said to have been in the "playoffs" of her baseball season. Judging by Lynn Jr.'s athletic prowess, she would likely be on a rep baseball team, maybe even a travel team.

We also see character development with regards to the Loud sisters being nicer in later seasons, & they DID go to the beach after Lynn's playoff game. So that means the events of every episode aired after NSL have not happened yet unless I say otherwise. That means Bobby & Ronnie Anne are still in Royal Woods, Stella hasn't arrived, Lori & Carol are still rivals… you get the picture.

I'm from Toronto, only a couple of hundred miles north of Detroit. Royal Woods is implied to be a suburb of Detroit, because it's in Michigan, and Canada is "right across the river" according to Schooled!, which would be the Detroit River. I remember that when I was in middle school (Lincoln & Lynn's age), the girls' softball season took place in the autumn. I know Lynn Jr. plays baseball, but where I'm from, girls hardly ever play baseball; they play softball instead. I also remember being in high school & the golf team playing in fall, which would explain Lori having a "golf game coming up". The professional baseball (MLB) playoffs are in October. The Little League World Series, which someone like Lynn Jr. would try to lead her team to, takes place in September. So judging from all of that, the playoffs of Lynn Jr.'s baseball season would probably take place in August, or September at the absolute latest.

The Loud House typically shows trees full of green leaves & the characters' antics at home, which happen in the daytime. Given that they mainly wear short-sleeved clothing & dresses, it's safe to assume many of the episodes happen over summer break. If you want autumn episodes, well, Toronto is known for having "Indian summers." Basically, there's always a week or two straight in early October where days top 70 degrees Fahrenheit & it's sunny (gotta use US terms because a majority of my readers are from the States), and usually, there will be a week or so in early-mid November where temperatures will reach 60-65 degrees, maybe even passing it. I figure that Detroit, being not that far south of us, has the same conditions, but a little warmer (I remember Windsor, the city across the border from Detroit, having a 78-degree day listed on the Weather Network in October once).

In addition, Lincoln is shown as 11 years old and in 5th grade throughout the first 4 seasons of the show, implying that he's one of the oldest kids among his classmates. So his birthday would be in September.

Taking all of this into account, as well as the fact that the ground & trees are shown to be green, I decided that the events of No Such Luck took place at the end of September of Lincoln's 5th grade year. Which means the events of this AU would start in October of Lincoln's 5th grade year.

This means that many of the "holiday-themed" or "weather-themed" episodes (e.g. The Price of Admission, the Christmas specials, Snow Bored, the April Fools' Day specials except for April Fools' Rules) have not happened yet.

Other episodes that haven't happened yet include:
- The Loudest Yard (due to ongoing football season, started, but not completed);
- The Waiting Game (first senior dance, likely the homecoming dance, so concurrent to this fanfic);
- Cover Girls (spring cleaning, so March);
- The Green House (probably an "Earth Day" challenge, taking place in April); and
- Study Muffin (Lincoln's "big multi-subject test" is probably an end-of-year test, in May or June)

I also assumed a lot of the incidents at the Loud House where no one goes to school happened in the summer break between Lincoln's 4th & 5th grade years. I'm putting the Sadie Hawkins Dance featured in "Dance, Dance Resolution," and consequently, "Heavy Meddle" and "April Fools' Rules", as have taken place during Lincoln's 4th grade year. Since "Take Your Kids to Work Day" is the 4th Thursday of April every year in the USA, I'm having "A Novel Idea" take place on the 4th Thursday of the April before NSL. Also, because in "L is for Love", Luan is shown to be in middle school due to the lockers in her scenes with Benny being red, I'm also having "L is for Love" take place in Lincoln's 4th grade year. "Vantastic Voyage" will also have taken place during Lincoln's 4th grade year, as the Loud House wiki, through hyperlinks, says that when Luan mentions that Lynn Sr. didn't pick her up from school, she meant the middle school, not the high school. I'm also putting "Party Down" as Lori's 17th birthday party, so it will have also taken place a few months before this episode.

As for my choice of who saves Lincoln, I know what you're thinking: "Lindsay Sweetwater? Why would fmarcsthespot use the psychopathic Lindsay Sweetwater, who might be just as bad as Lola, for a revenge attempt on his family?" Well, in her brief appearance in A Tattler's Tale, Lindsay is shown spilling Lola's secrets to Lincoln, quote, "not because she likes him, but because she's tired of always coming in second place to Lola!" This, combined with her beauty pageant participation, implies she has a similar personality to Lola. Because of her personality traits and ruthlessness, she's the only Loud House character other than the Louds themselves, IMO, that's going to be able to do what I want to do with this fanfic. I just ran with it.

So, that's the context of my story. Be sure to give it a favorite and a follow, and stay tuned!