Chapter 14: Ernestina meets LaCienega

"Are you sure you haven't seen a monkey anywhere?" Calhoun asked. Her voice was on the brink of exasperation and desperation. It was ten minutes to 8 and the sun was beginning to set. Since Calhoun and the rest of the police had left the restaurant, all they had been doing was investigating. So far, they hadn't found any clues. Not even a paw print. When they couldn't find any clues, the cops had turned to local residents for questioning. Currently, they had gone to Mr. Darling's disastrous party.

"For the last time," Mr. Darling grumbled. "YES! I was too busy trying to make sure my garden party was a success! I had too many guests to entertain!"

"He is right, officers," Mr. Jones said. "With all the band playing and me and my wife cutting the rug, we haven't seen anything!"

"Now if you excuse me," Mr. Darling continued. "I must check on my children."

"I better check on my daughter, as well!" Mr. Jones said. "She's gone goofy!"

"Thank you, gentlemen," Calhoun bade farewell. "No more questions, and good night." When she and Lieutenant McBrayer left the garden party, the couple could not help but feel deflated.

"Oh boy," McBrayer sighed. "This case is going to be a lot tougher than I thought!"

"I don't understand how one person can not see a monkey," Calhoun wondered.

"Fear not, honey," McBrayer said, trying to be hopeful. "If the worst happens, we'll call animal control."

"Yes, but how are we going to explain to the mayor that we couldn't find his son?"

"Have you found my son yet?" The mayor asked. He met up with Calhoun and McBrayer at the police station, in hopes of any updates.

"I am afraid not, Mayor," McBrayer sighed.

"Well keep looking!" He pleaded. "I'm only asking you so that I wouldn't have to go to the East Side!"

"We are doing the best we can," Calhoun answered calmly. "Our squad is looking around for your son."

"But all I have heard of them was talking about finding a monkey!"

"That's because the monkey has the perfume that Princesa de Mafia wants."

"And if we get to the monkey, we find the Mafia, and we find your son!" McBrayer finished with a confident smile.

"All right," Mayor Smith sighed. "I will let you do your work. But is it possible for one of your cops to report every hour to me about my son?"

"It's possible," McBrayer said hesitantly. "We can assign Officer Randall Jenkins to that duty."

"But it would mean finding a new phone booth every now and then!" Calhoun said firmly.

"That's fine," Mayor Smith said. "Whatever it takes."

Little did the Mayor or the police know that somebody had been spying on the other police. Two brown beady eyes with lots of eye shadow glared in the dark while hiding in a rose bush. The eyes stared viciously at a group of cops who were asking Mrs. Lidell and Mrs. Boulevardez some questions. The figure was close enough to hear them talking, but still far from them so they wouldn't hear or see her.

"So, you did see someone carrying a perfume bottle?" Officer Barry Leibowitz asked. He was writing down whatever the women had told him in his notepad.

"Yes," Mrs. Liddell nodded. "Believe it or not, it was a monkey!"

Officer Leibowitz paused in the middle of his note-taking. He stopped so hard that the tip of the lead of his pencil flew off. "A monkey!?" Lifting up his writing utensil, he frowned. "Oh darn! I'm going to resharpen this!"

Mrs. Boulevardez offered him one of her pens.

"Try this. My pen never breaks."

The officer took her pen, gratefully.

"Thank you, Mrs. Boulevardez." He picked up where he left off with his notes. "So Mrs. Liddell, please describe this monkey that you saw."

"Of course!" The British lady nodded. "Short, with light brown fur, and a long tail….,"

"These people are so useless!" the two eyes silently, grumbled. She continued to watch the cop and his squad talk to the two ladies until they bid each other goodbye and walked away.

Once they did, the figure revealed her head out of the opening of the bush. "They called themselves the best on the police force? Ha! They waste so much time asking questions, that they can't even look up at the trees!"

When the flapper saw that the police had turned the corner, she popped out of the bush. She was followed by her two friends.

"Good thing the fuzz didn't get us," one of her followers whispered.

"Aye," Ernestina said. "That's because they are foolish." She turned to the other side of the street. "Walk this way!" she ordered. "We're supposed to meet up with Becca and Helga on Main Street and Oakton Avenue!"

But when they arrived at the corner of Main Street and Oakton Avenue, the other two unpleasant women weren't there.

"Ugh," Ernestina growled. "What's taking them so long? Where are Helga and Becca? They're supposed to be here!"

"Maybe they're running late," Yichen Chang suggested, shrugging her shoulders.

"Well, the girls shouldn't be!" Ernestina huffed. She sighed and petted one of her little chihuahuas who stood by her ankles. "Is there not one person from those families that is keeping track of Héctor and his family or the monkey?"

"Yes!" a young feminine voice piped out.

Ernestina looked around a bit confused. Whoever said that, was not from her group. "Who said that?"

"I did!" a girl said as she popped out of the bush. "My name is LaCienega Boulvedarz." The 14-year-old girl shook hands with the older woman, very excitedly. "Oh, I'm such a big fan of yours, Ernestina De La Cruz! I thought it was so romantic when you ran away from the altar to be with your true love!" She clasped her hands together and held them to one side of her face, breathed out a long and dreamy sigh. "It was just like in the movies! Que romantico!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Ernestina grumbled. She didn't want to think about Musa. The traitor that promised her fame, only to use her for fooling around. "What's your point?"

"Anyway, I just saw those Rivera and Madrigal kids chasing that monkey with a pink bottle!"

"Which way did they go?"

"That way!" LaCienega pointed to the East Side.

"It'd be risky for me to go in there," Ernestina murmured, scratching her chin. The whole point of having Helga and Becca meet her outside of that place was so that she wouldn't have to go in there. "But I'm desperate. And if it means getting the love potion, then we'll have to go in there." She turned to the girl. "Because you were so helpful, why don't you join me?"

"Why should I?" the girl raised an eyebrow, suspiciously. "I don't know you."

"Well," Ernestina drawled. "Did you know why the Riveras and the Madrigals are looking for the monkey? What's he carrying is a love potion."

"A Love potion!?" LaCienega exclaimed. "But there's no such thing!"

"Oh, but there is, Niña," the flapper responded, winking at her. "This love potion was created by Frida Kahlo Madrigal." In case the cops were nearby, Ernestina whispered into her ear. "You can really use it on someone-any boy, to make them fall desperately in love with you."

"Really?" the girl's eyes widened. "Any boy?"

"Any boy," the wannabe actress clarified. "This potion will activate a boy's devotion and loyalty toward you. Someone whom you carry a torch for. Is there a boy that comes to your mind?"

"Oh yes!" LaCienega said, her eyes brightening up. "There is someone! Miguel Rivera! He's cute just like me!" Her eyes turned a bit cloudy, and her lip pouted. "But he keeps refusing me! I think he's just playing hard to get!" She flipped her hair. "After all, who can't resist me?"

'Miguel Rivera!?' Ernestina thought, half-listening to the girl. A smile slowly spread over her face, reminding one of a slasher. 'Oh, how delicious! Guess I can kill him along with Héctor!' Ernestina held out her hand to shake. "Well, even if Miguel refuses your advances, the love potion will make him desire you for eternity."

"Really?" the rich girl's smile grew hopeful. "It would?"

"Of course," the flapper nodded. "But only if you join me." She extended her hand out for a handshake. "What do you say? Are you ready to seize your moment?"

"Yes, I am!" LaCienega didn't hesitate to shake Ernestina's hand. The idea of using a magic bottle to make Miguel love her sounded so pleasing to her, that she couldn't refuse. "Miguel will be mine!"

"Excellent!" Ernestina smirked.

"I still can't believe what Ernestina did today!" Héctor complained. He threw his hands up in the air, in frustration. "What is she, loco? She left me at the altar for another man, and now, she wants me back? No way!" He scoffed. "And no matter how many times I have refused her, she just won't give up!"

''I agree, Tio!" Miguel nodded. "La Cienega wants me and idolizes that shrew!" He made a face.

"She wants you?" Héctor winced. "Oh I'm sorry, chamaco, maybe you can-wait, what!?" The shoemaker stopped in his tracks. He turned to his favorite nephew and shook his head. "'Idolizes her?!' No, That's crazy, chamaco! Everybody knew what she did! There's not one person in this town that looks up to Ernestina!"

"Oh, but it's true, Tio Hector!" Miguel said. "LaCienega does idolize her!"

"Por que?" Hector inquired. "Doesn't she know what she did?"

"Not really," Miguel frowned. "The other day…,"

The school teacher rang the bell for lunch. Miguel grabbed his lunch pail and ran outside. The sun was shining and the sky was bright blue. What a beautiful day to eat outside! He was sitting next to Wendy Darling on one side while her brother John sat on his other side on the bench.

"What's that?" Wendy asked, referring to Miguel's lunch. "It looks delicious!"

"Chicken tacos," Miguel answered. "It's my favorite! What do you have for lunch?"

"A slice of shepherd's pie," John answered.

"It's our favorite!" Wendy beamed.

"More like shepherd's vomit!" A brown girl sneered. She just appeared from out of nowhere followed by her two giggling friends. One was a black girl with blonde hair and another was a tanned girl with short brown hair.

"That's not nice, LaCienega," Miguel said firmly.

The girl quickly fixed a wide smile. She shoved Wendy off the bench and took her spot next to Miguel. Her friends followed in pursuit. The girls were all squishing into Miguel, causing him to accidentally push John off from his end of the bench.

"Hola Miguel," LaCienega said in a flirting voice. Her eyelashes fluttered like crazy.

"Um, hi," Miguel frowned. He wasn't fooled by her fake display. He was about to ask his friends who were on the ground if they were all right but the rich girl turned his face back to her, who continued to flash her eyelashes at him. "Is there something in your eye?"

"No, silly!" LaCienega giggled. The girl was extremely close to her crush. "You're so cute! Would you like to go to the Spring Dance with me?"

Miguel felt his stomach churn in disgust. He looked around hoping that someone would rescue him from this annoying girl.

But Wendy and John were on their way to the water fountain to wash the dirt off their clothes. Bonnie was too busy eating Wendy's uneaten lunch, and Dijonay was too busy trying to flirt with Sticky Webb.

Miguel looked to Sticky who was sitting from across the bench with his own bench mates, Francis "KG'' Leibowitz and his sister, Maya Leibowitz. The Rivera boy moved his head as a signal to get them to help him, but to no avail. Sticky looked up but ran away from Dijonay who ended up chasing him. KG was too busy typing on a typewriter and Maya was too busy reading a book about women's suffrage.

Miguel sighed and mustered up the courage to respond.

"N-no, thank you."

"Que!?" LaCienega shrieked. She drew back so quickly that she didn't care that Bonnie fell off the bench from behind her. "What do you mean 'no thank you?' I'm the cutest girl in town! How could you not be my date?"

Before Miguel could answer, LaCienega interrupted him.

"Is there someone else?" the rich girl began to growl. "It's that Madrigal girl, isn't it?"

"No!" Miguel said a bit too quickly. "You act too much like Ernestina De La Cruz!"

At first, the rich girl was stunned. Then a coy smile appeared on her lips.

"Why gracias Miguel!" What was supposed to be an insult to her, she took it as a compliment. "Ernestina was so brave to run off with her lover. So romantic; just like in the movies!"

"She cheated on my uncle!" Miguel frowned, crossing his arms.

"Oh, that's crazy!" LaCienega laughed. "She was stuck in a loveless relationship and couldn't tell your uncle or else he'd be incredibly violent."

"More like incredibly upset!" the boy grumbled. He leaned back when he saw the rich girl with closed eyes and puckering her lips up toward him! He stood up right away as the popular girl fell face flat on the bench.

"I hear my prima, Rosa calling me, Adios!" Miguel stuttered as he ran as fast as a cheetah.

"LaCienega tried to kiss you!?" Hector cringed. "That's awful."

"Sí!" Miguel sniveled. "I don't even like her! I'd rather kiss a fire hydrant!"

Dante stopped sniffing and looked up. 'Fire Hydrant?' He looked around. 'Where?'

Well, what do you know? On the right corner was a bright red fire hydrant. It was so clean and so shiny that Dante began to salivate. Without any thinking whatsoever, the dog ran off to the shiny object. When you have to go, you have to go!

"Dante!" Miguel gasped. He and his uncle ran after their furless friend.

"Come back here, perro!" Hector barked. 'Aye aye aye! 'Dumb dog!'