Lie 12:

"I Won't Miss You" part 1

Megumi's Point of View

My house has been in a racket since before daybreak. It started because my father forgets where he put the car key and he make quite a ruckus looking for it, and my sister couldn't stop panicking over how many facemasks she should bring. Meanwhile, I barely get any sleep because I've been meticulously shorting out the clothes and essentials for the one-night and two-days trip, while occasionally texting with Yuuji and Nobara all night. Save to say we're awake way before the alarm rings at 4 A.M. Each of us took a bath, get dressed, and then head down for the kitchen to cook when the sky outside is still dark purple.

I must say, it feels weird and sad to have to eat breakfast with all the lights still on, in the middle of the chilly early morning air, half-asleep and disoriented, while knowing full well it would be the last breakfast the three of us would share together—well, at least, for the next few months until the summer vacation comes again. I look around and try to absorb the moment: how Tsumiki's long straight hair shimmers under the golden lamplight, how my father takes a big bite of his rice and chews it solemnly, how we exchange simple and trivial conversations about the bread and milk, and how I wonder of how much I would miss a simple moment like this.

And it makes me wonder…. Did dad and Tsumiki also had a chance to savor some simple moments with Mom before she died? Or did it happen too suddenly that they hadn't get the chance to? I was clearly too young to remember, so I could only wonder how it would feel.

After breakfast, we helped Tsumiki load boxes and boxes of her things into the car my dad just brought in last night. A foreign car, big yet classic, with a silver metallic body that could be seen even from miles away. I don't know much about automotive, but I can tell it was foreign-made and very expensive. The plate number is also seeming like custom-made—505 GS—which at least I know to be no easy feat to get. How on earth my broke-ass father could afford such a car, even if it's just a rental, is still a mystery for me. But I just shrug it off for this time, because there are so many other things to think about when Tsumiki is listing down every luggage she puts in the car, and as a good sister, I feel obligate to be the one who cross-checks every single one of them.

Once everything is packed and confirmed, we get in the car with my sister sits right next to my driving father and I took the backseat for myself so I could lie down. She says goodbye to the house, which still brimming with the lights on from the porch, and even waves her hand melancholically.

I joke, "It's not like you're gonna be away forever."

And she replies with, "I know. But I still going to miss it."

My father chuckles. He starts to drive the car out of the still-sleeping neighborhood into the slightly awake highway. He says, "Home is where your heart lies. You can make a home wherever you want." And for a second, I silently absorb his words instead of saying the usual witty comebacks.

Throughout the journey, or at least until the sun rises quite high, I was sleeping with my head near the backseat door while my feet hang on the other. The fluffy seat makes me feel like I was lying on my own bed. My sister connected her phone to the stereo and plays father's favorite songs from the 80s. The Beatles and The Police lulled me to The Dreaming. When I wake up, we are already past the Kanto region and the song has changed to Westlife and Backstreet Boys.

I sit right up slowly, my head spinning and my stomach swirling because of the motion sickness. It took me minutes to steady myself and prevent me from throwing up. Tsumiki notices me struggling, so she offers some water and medicine. My father laughs at me for being weak. I kick the back of his seat but realize instead he probably wouldn't feel anything because of the sturdiness and fluffiness of the seat.

Now that I'm awake, my father feels no need to be considerate anymore and turns up the audio volume. He and my sister immediately have a karaoke pool session, singing Up Town Girl by Westlife from the top of their lungs. I fulfill my role for the edgy, grumpy teenage girl in the family by groaning and mocking them from the backseat. They pretend like they couldn't hear me and singing even louder instead. Eventually I give in, though. I giggle and move my body up and down to the rhythm.

By the time the next song turns up, I Want It That Way by Backstreet Boys, I couldn't hide my interest anymore and joins in on the karaoke streak. I even Googled the lyrics so that I know in which parts my dad butchered his English and mock him every time he does. In the end, we even coordinate who will sing in which parts so we can divide our voices. It turns out pretty great for three people who clearly aren't The Voice material.

Hours passed by and I keep coming back and forth between talking with my family, singing to the music, or texting with my friends. 'Friends' this time expands outside Nobara and Yuuji, because I've been discussing about my economy class project with Yuuta, while at the same time gathering my guts to text Sukuna for some restaurant recommendations in Kyoto. Apparently Yuuji doesn't know much about cool hanging out places because she has always been locked up in the house while she's in Kyoto. Sukuna apparently has more freedom because he's male (I rolled my eyes when she explained it, because, ugh patriarchy). But I just don't know how to text him first without being awkward or sounding needy.

Then my sister asks me where we should visit Kyoto; and because I really want to impress her, or at least have a good time with her while we're still together, I need to know all the best recommendations straight from the locals which aren't tourist traps. So, I take a deep breath, search for his contact's name, and use his uninvited participation in Yuuji and Nobara's movie night last night as a greeting.

[I see you joined the movie night in my stead,] I write on the first bubble. Soon right after, I notice my stupidity of not introducing myself. [It's Fushiguro Megumi, btw,] I immediately add.

Not even three seconds later and I'm already seeing text bubbles of him writing. Then, [Oh hi, my blessing.]

[Not yours]

[*yet :)]

His cockiness could even be felt from here and I could see his smug face from that smiling emoji. I reply with a bored-annoyed emoji and then we talk about the movie night for a bit, before I cut to the case by asking him about the recommended restaurants, cafes, and tourist attractions in Kyoto.

[Yeah, I know some places] he texts. [Wanna call? It's easier for me to explain]

And suddenly I'm spiraling over the thought of my dad and sister listening to me talking to someone in this cramped place and I couldn't bear the possibility of them teasing me for hours and days to come. Everybody knows I hate my pictures taken, moreover calling someone over the phone and much more video calling. It's just… not for me. My social anxiety won't allow me. And breaking those rules right now would immediately alert their suspicion. They might immediately connect it to the idea that I have someone special; even more than Yuuji and Nobara.

So, when I text him back that I don't want to, he comes up with, [How about I send you voicenotes, and you can reply to me by text?]

'I think it's the best way for us to compromise,' I thought. 'Though, I need to find my earphones.'

I look up from the phone and find my dad and sister now singing Dancing Queen by ABBA. Their voices are so loud I doubt anyone would be able to hear me through the phone in such noise. I reply to him that I agree, and just seconds later the bubble shows he's recording. I immediately rummage through my bag to get my earphones and connect it to my phone. My dad catches me putting them into my ears and asks do I hate the song. I say, "I just hate your voice," and pretend I don't hear him say, "Well, pity that you have to hear this voice for the rest of your life."

I turn up my phone's volume because my dad is now singing louder to annoy me. A few minutes later, Sukuna sends me a voicenote of three minutes long. His raspy masculine voice literally tickles me down the spine as if he was closer than ever and whispering right into my ears. I'm completely blacking out the first minute or so as I couldn't get my mind away from registering his voice as pure ASMR. I take a big gulp, steadying my breathing so the cold sweat and sudden massive blush wouldn't get out of hand my sister would notice. She might think I fell sick again and this time it would be so embarrassing to explain why. And so, with much self-control, I only succeeded in grasping the few last things he said before the voice note ends.

'SHIT! I didn't get anything he says!' I panic internally. I listen to his voicenote again, this time while opening another app to jot down the important things. 'Focus, Gumi. Focus!' I say to myself even though I know full well my heart is still beating out of my chest.

In his note, he lists some of the best places to get food people rarely know, yet have the best views, services, and with reasonable prices. He gives a quick review of each one, adding some tips on what to order, when to come, how to ask, etc., just so we could have the best experience.

And I know this is a disturbing thing to say or admit. He says nothing sort of sexual or flirty, yet my body feels so hot from inside out and I have this itchy feeling to touch myself while I'm listening to his voice. It's like… Oh my god, I don't know. Listening to an audioporn with a professional voice actor? You get what I mean.

And it surely doesn't help that he sends me another voicenote.

My body is literally melting with sweat before I brace myself to press the play button. This time, he gives me some recommendations on the tourist' attractions, like gardens, castles, and museums. The same as the last one, his explanation is brief yet thorough. But I still couldn't get myself to calm down during those almost four-minute periods.

His low, husky voice reverberates throughout every crevice on my body and resonates there to make me feel on the edge. I cross my legs one atop the other to suppress the tingling feeling down there, yet it instead makes it worse. My mind subconsciously runs a scenario where he would put his hands on my neck and press it hard while whispering things to me. Anything, really. He could be reading the back of a shampoo bottle in Latin, and I wouldn't care. He could be reading a cooking recipe and I would still be gasping for air and whimpering at his touch.

The end of the voicenote also marks the end of my fantasy. I realize that, again, I got nothing out of his note other than a realization that I'm a teenager and still a hetero, at the very least. The experience leaves my temperature high, and I immediately reach for the AC and turn it up even more. Now that I could put away my earphones, I just realize my sister and father are now singing My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion like they were in the Titanic when the shipwreck happened. I roll my eyes out while suppressing my giggle, thinking what a silly situation it could be to get a hard-on, and yet, it happened.

Then, probably because he noticed how unusually long it took for me to reply to him, he texts, [Just say it if listening to my voice makes you embarrassed.]

And I almost got a heart attack.

[No such thing], I reply. [It's just that my dad and sis are blasting songs in deafening volume so it's a hassle trying to get what you're saying]. Complete lie. But how would he know?

He just texts, [Yeah sure] while probably giggling like a hyena.

My sister suddenly gasps in awe, and full of curiosity, I raise my head up. What happens next is I get blinded by the amount of sunlight that suddenly gets into my eyes. The vast blue ocean on my left reflects the bright sunray from the perfectly clear sky. That was when I realized we are crossing the Meiko-Chuo Bridge through Nagoya Port, makes me think of how long it has been since the last time I saw the ocean.

The car continues to cross the floating highway through narrow straits before we eventually passed the Legoland Japan Resorts and Yotemi Wild Bird Sanctuary. I roll down the backseat windows the whole time, almost sticking my head out of the car if Tsumiki doesn't get hysterical each time I attempt to do so.

A few more straits later and I am still lost daydreaming while looking out the window. The clear blue sky with no could give an illusion we're still in the middle of summer. The ever-changing view of unfamiliar places makes me desperate to keep staring while hoping somehow my brain will memorize everything. Once the view turns to concrete and bricks of grey towers when we cross the cityscape, I steal a quick glance at my phone again, just to find Sukuna's text saying to inform him once we arrive.

I ask my father how much longer until we get to Kyoto, and he just says, "Not longer than the amount of time you usually spend texting your boyfriends."

And I stare at him dagger before my sister laughs and says, "Forty-five minutes, approximately."

'Forty-five minutes,' I repeat in my heart. That's the amount of time I'm planning to spend pending to reply to his text while staring out the window.

-:-

Exactly forty-five minutes later we are entering the area of Kyoto city. My sister then busy reading the Google Map to her dorm while being the navigator for my father, who stubbornly convinced he needs no guidance and could even get us there with his eyes closed. I chime into the ruckus because my dad takes the wrong turn and now, we need to cross a bridge to turn around.

He then says, "No need. Let's just see where this is going." And I smack his arm repeatedly while lecturing him that we have no time for his idiocy. He finally agrees to turn around while grumpily lecturing me back about how young people nowadays have no attitude. I say that I only have no attitude towards him. Now that we're in the right lane, my sister continues her role as the navigator while I'm the one who berates my father because he apparently made me choose violence.

My annoyance gets subdued a little thanks to the immaculate view of old buildings and lush parks along the street. We drive past Kyoto City Zoo and the river beside it guides our way in a straight line to a Museum of Art, before turning to a busier area around Kumano-jinja Shrine. I didn't even realize we are passing the hospital of Kyoto University if not for my sister who squeals in excitement and gasps, "I can't believe we're already here!" Some minutes later, we made another turn to the right after passing a 7-ELEVEN, and now we have arrived at the Yoshida Residence of Kyoto University.

But, instead of excitement and relief that got into me, I can't help but feel something is gravely wrong as I stare up and down the rundown old building with unused stuff and trash scattered everywhere. The whole place smells like mold and years-long undisturbed humidity. The tall trees around it cast a dark shadow even under the perfectly clear sky, and I think I saw some ghosts lurking and staring at us from the shadows. While it is perfectly normal for me to see them around my high school, now that we're in a new place, I admit it is slightly disturbing.

I step out of the car warily, walking slowly to Tsumiki who is also speechless while repeatedly turning between her phone and the actual view before her. "Are you sure this is the right place?" I ask her, peeking into her phone screen.

"I… I don't know," she hesitates. "The map says it is the right place, but then why does it look different from the photos they sent me before?"

My father walks toward the building and stops midway. He looks up to the sign above the entrance that indeed says 'Yoshida Residence' in a moldy, rusty plaque of wood that has been fading away. He turns to us and says, "Yeah, we're here alright," and proceeds to enter the building.

I'm exchanging glances with Tsumiki, and we unanimously agree to follow him inside first before deciding whether we need to unload the baggage or not.

And as expected, it smells like something has died and rot for years even from the entrance. The lighting is scarce and the wooden floor creaks on our feet. The situation inside is even more chaotic than the outside, with many things crumpled in one place and some scattered all around. They look like the things the previous tenants don't need anymore yet still pretty good to use.

There is no one at the receptionist's desk. After we repeatedly say our greeting, an old man comes down from rustic and dangerous-looking stairs. He asks who we are, and my father explains my sister's situation and our doubts. He then rummages into an old book for quite some time, before turning at us again and says, "Yes, Ms. Fushiguro is supposed to live here. Come, let me show you your room."

The old man then walks before us down an empty hallway and up to the second floor. He shows us an empty room only sufficient for a small futon bed and barely any legroom. He explains that the bathrooms and kitchen are communal so whoever lives here has to walk down the hall first to reach them. I look around the room, feeling suffocated like being inside a tiny closet. Even my father has to duck his head and squirm his shoulders to not slam his body to the walls—granted that he is a big and muscular man, yet still.

I turn to my sister, sending telepathic thought that the only good thing about this room is the big open balcony straight to the forest; but even that still looks menacing even in the bright daylight. And she looks back at me with a wry smile, saying, "Well, I guess it's not that bad." And I furrowed my eyebrows so deep that even my dad realizes it.

He fakes a cough and says to the old man, "It seems like the girls need some time to themselves. How about you show me around, Mr. Iguchi?" and they slowly walk out of the room while talking about the monthly payment and so on.

I stare dagger at my sister and snark, "Are you really gonna consider living here for the next four years?"

Tsumiki shrug. "It's the only thing we can afford, Gumi. I can't be choosy. Besides, home is wherever your heart lies."

I roll my eyes. "Ugh, please, don't quote that old man. This is not 'home'. It's a 2x2 square meters prison."

"Gumi, I know you don't like this place but you're not the one who has to live here. And you don't need to worry about me. As long as there's a roof above my head and food on my plate, I can survive however long it takes to complete my study."

"But not without your sanity intact."

She sighs exasperatedly. "Gumi."

"There must be some mistake. A renounce university shouldn't have a dorm like this."

"I looked it up, Gumi, and apparently there are better dorms, but they're reserved for foreign students."

"Or people who can afford it."

"Exactly. And we don't." She takes a deep breath and reaches out for my hands. She looks me deep into my eyes and whispers, "It's okay, Gumi. I understand how hard it is for Dad to keep a job and, moreover, to separately provide for me and you. I'm grateful enough that I can continue my education and get a chance to live independently. I'm an adult already, and I can take care of myself. So, I'd rather have the money to be used for you back at home."

The warmth in her hands contrasts with the chilling air around us, making my heart sink even deeper into a sudden depth of sadness. I stare at her longing brown eyes and find the same gaze as my mother. 'I don't want to lose you too,' is stuck in my throat and I'm afraid to say it or I would break down in tears. "You don't need to sacrifice for me. I have dad while you would be here alone," I say to her instead.

"But I want to," she replies with determination. I know at this point nothing would ever change her mind. "You need the money more than me. Have fun with your friends and enjoy your teenage years. Make memories and fall in love. That's what mom would like you to do."

And as she said that, I couldn't stop the tears from piling up in the corner of my eyes and rolling down my cheek. "But you're a teenager too. You need to have fun too." My voice is unexpectedly hoarse.

"I'm older so I'm okay." She laughs. Her thumbs rubbing my eyes softly to wipe the tears.

I take another step forward with my arms circling around her waist, placing my head slowly on her shoulder. She returns the hug by embracing me warmly, rocking our bodies left and right like how our mother used to do.

I'm not ready to let her go. One part of me is terrified of not ever seeing her again if I let go of this moment, like what happened with our mother. And I know this is a childish feeling, irrational. She's not going any further than a few hundred kilometers away, not another realm or dimension. I could still reach her via phone or any other means, and she would be home in a few months. Yet still, still, my heart cannot process that.

She kisses my forehead before letting me go—which I reluctantly let her. She looks around the room again and starts to mumble about how she would decorate the room and place her things, while I secretly throw my glance away outside the windows. My father slowly comes into view, pacing around with his hand on his ear, clearly calling someone from down below. I walk to the balcony and lean closer to the rails, trying to eavesdrop on him. He's saying something about dorms and money and my sister, then hangs up. He looks up, catching me looking back at him, and he gestures for us to come down. I call my sister and take her downstairs with me.

"Let's go to the next place," says my father right after we stand next to him. "I have arranged somewhere better for you." He walks casually to the car and opens the driver's door. Tsumiki and I exchanged curious glances again.

"You have? Where? How?" presses Tsumiki, half-running and half-shouting to the car.

"Not far from here," is the only thing my father is willing to answer. He slides into the driver's seat and turns on the engine.

"No, really, it's too suspicious." I chased him by sitting behind his seat and popping my head right next to him. "What have you done this time, Dad? You're not making any shady deal now, aren't you?"

And he snorts. "I have friends in high places, Gumi. That's all." The car starts to move, and we are slowly exiting the Yoshida Residence area.

"Like yakuza?" I retort back, still not letting it go.

"Believe what you wanna believe, Gumi. It's good for your fantasy," replies my dad nonchalantly.

My sister puts her seatbelt on and then leans her body towards our dad. "Dad, if it means you have to loan some more money, then I don't want it," she firmly declares. My soft-natured sister turned serious, and it sends me a chill down my spine.

"No, I'm not." My dad sounds a little exasperate. We are driving down the road passed the 7-Eleven we saw before. "I told you; I have a friend in high places. He helps us just now, no question asks."

I arch my eyebrow so high it's almost comical. "That's it? No catch? No string attaches?"

"No nothing." He shakes his head.

"For real, real?"

"Fucking for real."

His solemn expression almost makes me believe him. He also drives at steady velocity as if he knows for sure where we are heading. But, still, I squint my eyes sharp enough to pierce his soul because doubt couldn't leave mine. "No cap?" I threaten him.

He rolls his eyes. "Cross my heart and hope to die, Gumi. Hope I'd die."

I sit back down in my seat, somehow amused by his reaction. 'Oh, but I know something's totally going on.' I smirk and try so hard to keep my evil laugh internal. 'I'm gonna find out what it is, old man. And you're dead once I do.' Now I'm racking my brain for some kind of spell that can somehow help me.

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To be Continued

Hi! It's Audrey Lea.

This chapter has two parts because the original version is too long, and I thought the readers would like short and light reading. Chapter 13 will conclude the 'vacation' episode of this family.

Anyway, Megumi and Sukuna's chat can be seen on my Twitter and Tumblr ( ladyambrose2). Head there to see their silliness.

So, what do you think of this chapter? Please be kind and share your thought in the review/comment box. You can also find some cover arts I made, the wardrobes of the characters, and their 'actors' on my Twitter and Tumblr : ladyambrose2.

See you in the next chapter!