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Chapter I: Hell for the Living

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I woke up, drenched in cold sweat, feeling my heart thumping in my throat. It took a minute for my eyes to focus, gradually becoming aware of my surroundings. The room remained shrouded in darkness, hinting that there were still a couple of hours before sunrise.

I blindly tried to calm my racing pulse by taking deep breaths, convincing myself that the night terrors couldn't touch me once I was awake.

- "Get a hold of yourself, Sakura. It's just another nightmare," I whispered to myself, closing my eyes.

Yes, just another nightmare. One more of those that haunted my dreams every time I closed my eyes. Some were memories, while others were mere products of my imagination, blending together the hundreds of battles we had fought. Sometimes I died in those dreams, but the worst ones were when I survived, only to witness the rest of my loved ones being slaughtered, over and over again.

This is what it must feel like to be in hell, I thought. Yes, if any description of hell is accurate, reliving your worst fears over and over again must be what awaits us.

- "This way you're already acclimating yourself for when your time comes," I muttered sarcastically.

It took all the energy I had left to raise my arm and wipe the sweat from my forehead. My muscles were still numb from my previous shift, and my chakra was depleted. It seemed like today would be more of the same.

Everyone talks about the wars and narrates the battles, but no one stops to think about what happens when a war ends. Four months had passed since the signing of the peace agreement, and we still hadn't finished confirming the number of dead or the wounded. Some soldiers, not in critical condition, had to wait months to receive treatment. Many died of infection and disease in the process. But our numbers had been severely reduced after the war. There were few doctors left capable of performing surgery and high chakra-driven cures.

Tsunade had taken on the role of diplomatic emissary and had no time to work in the hospital. Shizune and I had taken charge of all healing, with only a few nurses to assist. The Fifth Hokage's priority was to ensure that, as the host of the world's most powerful ninja, the other villages continued to believe in the agreement and trust Konoha as the hub of peace.

"Some peace it is. People are still dying in our streets." I thought to myself.

My relationship with Tsunade had strained over the years. I think war does that to people. Her character had grown colder, and I had become more distant. We often clashed over her decisions, and I didn't always agree with our strategies. The peace agreement was an example. Despite being her second-in-command, she never consulted me about Madara's offer, and I found out once the papers were signed. When I confronted her about her reasons, she completely shut me down and gave no explanations. That was the last time we spoke a side from official meetings and reports. It was probably for the best, though. The resentment that was growing in me every day was expanding and focusing not only on Madara but on all those who had accepted his offer.

I got up from the hospital bunk and took a shower in the resident's room. Dressed in short black leggings and a black tank top, I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I had aged. Gone were the traces of the little girl I once was. My figure was more pronounced, and my features were those of a woman. I would never be as beautiful as Ino or Hinata, but I had my fair share of admirers in the village, or at least that was on the surface.

My eyes no longer had that sparkle in them. Now, they were dark green, like that of an infinite forest, like the dark woods that terrified my dreams. They were the eyes of someone who had seen too much. I recognized it because many other villagers had the same look.

I ran a hand through my damp hair. I hadn't realized how it had grown. It was now down to the middle of my back. I decided to wear a ponytail so it wouldn't get in the way when treating the patients. As I was about to grab my combat boots, I felt a chakra signature on the other side of the door, waiting patiently. Probably an Anbu messenger.

- "Yes," I raised my voice so that he knew I had detected his presence.

- "Haruno-sama, the Hokage has requested your presence this morning for a meeting," the voice replied respectfully. That was the only good part of being a vital member of the medical corps and former second-in-command of the unit during the war. People, including the highest officials, respected you.

"What do you want now, Tusnade" I thought in exasperation. It took my whole being not to answer that if the Hokage wanted to tell me something, she could come and tell me in person instead of interrupting my work. "Deep breaths, Sakura. He is just the messenger."

- "Haruno-sama, it's..." He tried to say.

- "There is something I need to do," I interrupted him sharply and with venom, without caring that he was just doing his job. "I will be there at noon."

I felt the presence disappear a few moments after my answer. The good thing about Anbu is that they learned fast not to contradict me. I lied when I said I had something to do, but I refused to be controlled by the diplomatic agenda of a peace charade. I was not going to disobey direct orders, but sure as hell, I was going to take my time getting there.

I left my room, heading towards the reception area where the head nurse was already waiting for me with her night report.

- "Good morning, Sakura-sama," she greeted with a respectful bow. She knew she didn't have to do that. I held deep respect for her diligent work, but I guess protocol was protocol.

- "Good morning, Ume-san," I replied with the warmest smile I could muster. "How are we doing today?" Of course, I already knew the answer. She let out a heavy sigh.

- "Not very well, I'm afraid. Hingi-sama passed away last night," she said with a sad smile.

I had always liked Hingi. He was a 40-year-old veteran who had lost his leg during the war. The infection had spread rapidly due to a lack of immediate treatment, and a couple of days earlier, he had suffered multiple organ failure. Yet, he didn't mind his imminent passing. He had also lost his daughter in the ranks and often talked about how much he wanted to be reunited with her. Some parents are more dedicated than others. I would know.

- "Don't let it weigh on you," I said, surprised at the coldness of my own words. "There was nothing more we could do for him. Anything else?"

- "Well, there was an altercation too," she hesitated.

- "What happened?" I asked, my patience growing thin.

- "Two of our nurses refused to treat a patient who entered the ICU after falling into one of the still undismantled traps. He was running, and a kunai hit him in the back, puncturing his lung," she explained. My eyes narrowed at the unprofessional conduct of my own staff.

- "And why is that?" I inquired.

- "He was a former militant in Madara's ranks. We managed to stabilize him, and he is currently under observation," she replied.

Ah, so that was the reason. Some people couldn't set aside their resentment. The irony in that.

- "Fire them," I stated simply. She tried to speak, but I immediately interrupted her. "I need my medical staff to maintain professionalism, Ume-san. The moment a person enters through that door, they become a patient in need of treatment. There are no friends or enemies here. If they can't accept that, then they aren't fit for the job." It was easy to lie through my teeth. I had been doing it for weeks. After all, it was my duty.

- "I understand, Haruno-sama. I will inform them of your decision immediately," she replied, looking disappointed. I couldn't blame her; we were already short-staffed, and here I was, dismissing employees. But I believed I was doing them a favor, relieving them of the burden of dealing with our enemies.

- "I have a meeting with the Hokage. Please begin your rounds, and I will join you as soon as I return."

- "Of course, Haruno-sama. I hope your meeting goes well," she said, bowing once more. I smiled awkwardly, nodding my head before turning on my heels.

I left the hospital relatively quickly that morning with the excuse of the meeting and walked through the still-under-construction streets of the village. At every turn, people were working in the streets, trying to rebuild their homes. You could feel the dread and discontent as you walked by. Most people took a second to bow with respect in my direction, while others kept on working as if I was invisible. The latter probably blamed me for the agreement as second in command. I ignored them, but sometimes I wish I had yelled at them that I had nothing to do with it.

I picked up the pace to get to the only place where there was silence and a certain level of peace. The cemetery. Some might find it strange that I found a graveyard to be peaceful, given that I spent my days surrounded by death. But as someone once said, only the dead have truly seen the end of war. I couldn't help but envy them for that.

It was now three times bigger than it used to be, with graves everywhere for every person who had lost their lives in the war. Well, only the heroes and the well-to-do had been able to bury their loved ones in graves. The rest had to be content with their name engraved on the stone monument they had built as a memorial.

"You give your life for your village to end up as a name written on a stone," I laughed mirthlessly inwardly. And this was only for those who had been confirmed dead. About 60% of the victims were still missing, and death certificates could not be confirmed.

As I approached the stone, I noticed a familiar chakra signature standing next to it. I narrowed my eyes as I approached. I knew who that person was. I stood there in silence behind him for I don't know how many minutes until he deigned to acknowledge my presence.

- "Sakura-san," Itachi, bowing his head slightly in acknowledgment, greeted me.

I never got used to his manly and soft tone of voice. One would expect an S-class assassin to have a raspy, menacing voice. But much about Itachi Uchiha always seemed a mystery to me. His eyes were cold, but his smile was warm. His posture was calm and reassuring, even though he could kill me just by blinking. But, at the end of the day, we were all killers in one way or another, even me.

- "It's been a while, Itachi-san. Visiting your cousin, I suppose," I responded to his greeting.

- "Ah, Shisui would be lonely if I forgot about him," he added without looking away from the monument. From where I was still standing behind him, I could see a hint of a smile peeking from his lips. He was devastatingly beautiful, like all the Uchiha before and after him. I laughed unfunnily at his response, catching his gaze.

- "I'm sorry," I exclaimed, still laughing, raising my arms in apology. "You miss the point there, Itachi-san. That's the good thing about being dead. Dead people don't feel anything," I added, smiling sadly.

"I wish I was dead too," left unsaid. Something flickered in his gaze, but I wasn't sure quite what it was. Surely, it couldn't be pity. My life had to have been golden compared to his. But, then again, everyone had their own demons.

- "I would know. I was dead once," he replied, still smiling. Awareness hit me like a slap in the face.

- "Sorry, I did not mean to bring up bad memories. How have you been?" I decided that changing the subject was the best way to get me out of the uncomfortable atmosphere I had created.

- "That's okay. It must be hard to come to terms with having resurrected people living in the village," he replied, understanding. "I have been good. The rebuilding is taking most of my time. Sasuke has been helping too, you know?"

- "Well, that sure is quite an accomplishment considering he wanted to destroy the Leaf not too long ago," the mention of Sasuke only brought back bitter memories. I still hadn't faced him after the war. Itachi's gaze turned a little sad. – I guess we owed that to you as well.

- Actually, it was Naruto-kun who got him to start helping. He said it was some sort of competition to see who could build more houses in two weeks."

- "Of course he did," I laughed. leave it to Naruto to convince a depressive maniac with homicidal thoughts to become a volunteer by pressing the right buttons.

- "Have you come to see your medics?" – He asked, pointing at the monument with his eyes. I nodded slightly.

- "If I don't come, no one will," I replied. It was true. Many good people had died under my command, healers and medics that no one remembered even though many survivors owed their lives to them. The definition of secondary characters, faded into the background, forgotten.

- "The medical corpse were as much as heoroes as the shinobi who fought in battle – Itachi's unexpected words briefly surprised me, though I struggled to see myself as a hero. – "None of this would be possible if you hadn't saved so many lives," he continued.

- "But we also lost so many," I interjected, a sharp edge to my tone.

- "Yes, we did," he concurred, and the mood in the room grew uncomfortable once more. I forced a smile, though my patience was wearing thin.

- "Fortunately, this new era of peace should prevent such losses from happening again, or so they say..." I attempted to assure, but the skepticism in Itachi's eyes was evident, and I couldn't blame him.

- "You don't trust the peace agreement?" he asked, his gaze narrowing. Alarm bells went off in my head.

- "Do you?" I shot back quickly. Itachi remained silent, his gaze averted for a few seconds before he let out a sigh.

- "I don't quite trust Madara," he admitted, "but it would be unwise to jump to conclusions. The situation is fragile enough as it is."

"There, another dissenter" I thought. Itachi, a child prodigy and one of the smartest shinobi, realized the situation's complexity but, like most of us, was trying to make it work. I nodded in agreement. The fact that Itachi shared my suspicions about Madara alleviated my paranoia. Not wanting to prolong the conversation, I decided to excuse myself for my meeting.

- "I have to get going. I have a meeting with the Hokage," I mentioned, turning around.

- "I know Sasuke would like to see you," Itachi added. I shot him a flat stare, feeling a surge of irritation.

- "Did he tell you that?" I asked, though I already knew the answer. Itachi smiled once again.

- "I know him, Sakura," he said, addressing me by my name without honorifics. I blamed my hormonal imbalance and lack of personal life for the shiver that ran through my body. "I know he doesn't show it, but he regrets his actions and would like to make amends with his team."

- "He has a team, Taka." I replied, pushing the conversation further than perhaps I should have. Itachi didn't seem pleased. – "If Sasuke wants something from me, he can come and tell me himself," I asserted.

- "I will certainly convey your message," Itachi replied calmly. – "Meanwhile, please take care of yourself, Sakura-san. You are much more valuable to the village than you give yourself credit for." Itachi's words managed to offer some comfort, and I smiled genuinely this time.

- "I appreciate that, Itachi-san. Will you tell me about Shisui another time?" I asked on a whim. His sad smile widened.

- "Maybe one day," he replied.

I offered him my best smile, bowing slightly. With closed eyes, I took in a final breath and let the tranquility of the place wash over me.

"It's not your time yet, maybe someday," I thought. There was still so much to be done, numerous loose ends to be tied up. I couldn't afford to die. I believed that even if I did, I wouldn't find peace in the afterlife.

With the little determination I could muster, I departed, resuming my journey to the tower.

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- End of chapter I -