(A/N): We're back in 1975 with Leo, Lisbet and Jerremyah, to get Leo's reaction to Lisbet telling him that his greatest strength- and greatest vulnerability- is his empathy. I can't BELIEVE I named a chapter 'Top Dog' and it doesn't even have Sirius in it! Betrayal!
Foreshadowing, sort of? More like... hey, here's a thing! Maybe you'll get answers to it some day! In all seriousness (heh), this is something that has been the subject of QUITE a bit of foreshadowing in the past, and is now making it's way into... what's it called when it's not the future? Is it just the narrative, at that point?
Leo
My... empathy? My- I was confused by this. I didn't consider myself to be a particularly empathetic person- sure, I cared about other people's feelings, and felt their pain like it was my own, but that was probably just a side effect of being at my parent's mercy for so long. It was hard not to feel for the animal caught in the trap, when you knew firsthand the fear and pain it must be experiencing. No, I had to ask her to explain herself; this wasn't something I could accept at face value.
"What do you mean?" She pulled back a little so she could look at me properly, and I regretted asking. Not just because of the concerned, almost pained face she was making, but because I missed the added proximity.
"Your empathy, while being something that could lead to you going easy on someone you shouldn't, is also the thing that could drive you to give someone a chance, when almost no one else would. Like Jerremyah." I blinked. That- didn't answer my question?
"What empathy?" Now it was her turn to blink, but when she seemed to move past her surprise, her expression turned sad. Ugh... I hated that almost as much as her pained looks.
Even Jerremyah groaned quietly, his arms looping around me a little tighter, and I felt his weight on me increase like he was trying to physically brace himself, using my body as a crutch. It was... oddly comforting, and though I couldn't exactly place it, I thought the sensation reminded me of something. "Leo..." He said, then paused for a second, as if trying to choose his next words very carefully. "I can't tell if you're making a joke-" I wasn't. "-or pretending to be ignorant-" Also no. "-or you're really just that oblivious-" That typically turned out to be the case. "-but I'm going to spell it out for you, either way." Good! Good, that's what I needed- someone to be direct with me, so there was no chance of me misunderstanding them. "You," He said firmly. "Are one of the most empathetic people I've ever met- if you're not top dog, you're certainly on the podium."
He... he really thought that? I could tell by his tone, and the weight behind his words, that he did. Besides, Jerremyah didn't seem like the type to lie about this sort of thing, or try to bullshit me. He not only thought I was empathetic, but one of the most empathetic people he'd ever met? That was... almost inconceivable, to me.
Lisbet pressed another kiss to my temple. "What he said," She concurred. I- what? "You're incredibly kind, and compassionate, and you have this innate desire to take care of people-"
"It's not innate." I corrected her, before immediately clamming up as I realised that I wasn't supposed to say that. To even think- I slammed my mental barriers into place. I knew I didn't really need them- not here and now, not with Lisbet and Jerremyah- but it made me feel better, safer. More in control.
I felt Lisbet pull back again to look at me, but I deliberately kept my eyes lowered. I busied myself counting the stitches on Jerremyah's jumper, and eventually- around one ninety-two or so- she lost her patience, and shrugged. "If you say so." She said, and even if she was working hard to keep her frustration out of her tone like I suspected, it still come across slightly pointed.
"So... you're saying you had to work to be this empathetic?" Jerremyah asked, keeping his tone light, and I silently thanked him for changing the subject. Better yet...
"Thank you for changing the subject." It took a second for my murmur to penetrate, and when it did, his lips curved into a grin.
"Any time, kiddo." Don't even think about it. He doesn't mean it, he's just being- friendly. "But..." Uh oh. "Are you saying you were indifferent at some point? Apathetic? That there was a time where you didn't care about how other people felt, and did things callously?" Obviously, I hesitated.
"Not... not callously," I said quietly. "But... when I lived with my mother- and even for a little while after that- I didn't really have the luxury of worrying about other people, when I was wholly preoccupied keeping Mia safe, or myself- alive." Lisbet was not the only one who looked incredibly concerned by the explanation I'd just given, but she was the one that asked,
"You didn't trust Nicholai to keep you alive, at first?"
I hesitated again, weighing up the possible consequences to telling them this small tidbit of information, before I eventually decided that clarifying couldn't be any worse than what I'd already told them. "I meant before I met him." Her eyebrows furrowed.
"So... when you were living with your mother?" She sounded confused, and I suppose I couldn't blame her.
I shook my head. "No. After that. After my mother, but before my father." She looked bewildered- like I'd just handed her the most complex puzzle in the world- but Lisbet, being Lisbet figured it out eventually. All the color- what little there was of it- drained from her face, and I could tell she was staring at me with a horrified expression, even if I'd dropped my eyes again in order to avoid hers.
"Leo-" She sounded like someone was choking her, and my eyes briefly darted upward of their own accord, to make sure that wasn't the case. "-sweetheart-" This sounded more like a desperate plea than the word 'please' ever had. "-how long were you- how long?" I shrugged- because even if I'd been capable of replying, I wasn't entirely sure of the answer. Not down to the day, at least.
Shrinking further into Jerremyah's chest, I mumbled, "Don't wanna talk about it," and hoped against hope that she'd take the hint.
"Leo- what- what- I can't even-" She sounded like she was on the edge of a breakdown, and Jerremyah put his hand over hers where it still rested on the back of my neck, and drew my forehead to his shoulder. It felt right, if only because I was so desperate for comfort that I couldn't care less who it came from.
"Lis." I felt him shake his head, and Lisbet stopped spluttering. He brushed a kiss into my hair, which was... nice, I guess. Okay, it was incredible, but I would never, ever admit such a thing out loud. "Thank you for telling us that much, Nounours." I blinked at the now familiar nickname being said in his voice, and after I'd recovered from the shock of it, shook my head to show my disapproval. Jerremyah merely huffed out a small laugh. "Yeah, I figured." He said, not sounding offended in the slightest. "Gotta find something to call you that isn't 'kiddo'." Why? I liked kiddo- didn't he?
"Do you..." Lisbet started, then had to clear her throat to rid herself of the raspiness her voice had taken on. "Want to go back to talking about Jerremyah's control issues?" She still sounded more than upset, but when I nodded eagerly against Jerremyah's shoulder, she gave a weak, reluctant chuckle.
He groaned quietly again, but I could tell it was mostly for show. I appreciated him trying to distract me- to distract from me- and added it to my ever-growing list of his good qualities. "My favorite subject." He grumbled, but there was a slight smile on his lips, and I knew if he really didn't want to be having this conversation, he wouldn't be here.
"You did say you loved talking- shouldn't talking about yourself be your favorite subject?" I said into his shoulder, and after a second, a slow, almost dangerous looking smirk spread across his lips. I wasn't scared, though- I knew I wasn't the one in danger.
"No," He practically purred, and I could tell his eyes had locked onto Lisbet behind my back. "No, my favorite topic of conversation, is a lot more... titillating."
(A/N): Me: *writing a note about 'foreshadowing'*
Me: *going back to make sure there's no other, REAL foreshadowing going on*
Me: *catching sight of something*
Me: 'Oh shit. I didn't even- that wasn't even intentional! And that's subtle as fuuuuuuuck. I barely even caught it, and I wrote it!'
Me: *evil grin*
also
Leo: *being squished by Jerremyah*
Leo: 'It was... oddly comforting, and though I couldn't exactly place it, I thought the sensation reminded me of something.'
Leo: *being squished by Greygorry in 212, after the Spharmus incident*
Leo: 'I found myself thinking that it was actually... kind of nice?'
also
Leo: '(...) I wasn't entirely sure of the answer. Not down to the day, at least.'
Lisbet: 'Oh God, it was more than one day?'
also
Jerremyah: 'Gotta find something to call you that isn't kiddo.'
Leo: 'Why? I liked kiddo- didn't he?'
Jerremyah: 'I like him very much- it! I mean it! I like it- the word- very much!'
Jerremyah: 'It just happens to make me feel like... you could be mine. Mine, like you don't realise that you're Lisbet's. And that... that's not something that you want.'
Leo: '...I- I might be open to it... one day.'
also
Leo: *making a list of Jerremyah's good qualities*
Lisbet: *coming to read over his shoulder*
Jerremyah: 'No, no, no, that's far too long- it should be MUCH shorter than that, and you know it.'
Leo: *making direct eye contact, unfurls his list to be exponentially longer*
Jerremyah: '...' * :') *
Lisbet: 'You misspelled 'self-deprecating'.'
Leo, without missing a beat: 'No, I didn't.'
Jerremyah: 'I'm a big boy, Lisbet, I don't think it's exactly an achievement that I can go to the bathroom on my own.'