Title: Shizuka's Silly Man

The place she lived in had three bedrooms. When she had bought it, the realtor had given her a funny look. Shizuka had told her she was single, no boyfriend, no kids, and a practically nonexistent love life. But she always went the extra mile when she made a major purchase. By now she owned an awesome car, a 2005 Aston Martin V8 Vintage. In her mind, it made perfect sense to buy a big house.

Besides, she needed the extra bedrooms.

Now don't get her wrong, she wasn't a prude. When she finally gets a boyfriend and he stays over at her place for the night, the two of them would most definitely sleep in the same bedroom. The second bedroom was for the times when they got into a fight or had a major argument and she decided they needed space to cool their heads and sleep it off. That necessitated separate sleeping arrangements. Oh, and when she got really, really angry, she wasn't above withholding sex, so there was that. The third bedroom was for her unborn child. While fooling around, if she ever got pregnant, she would keep the baby and if that scared off her boyfriend, well, who needs men anyway. She would turn the third bedroom into a nursery.

And so, there you have it. Shizuka Hiratsuka had a perfectly good reason to buy a big house with three bedrooms. Now all that was left was to get a boyfriend.

Should be easy.

Right?

Years Later

Shizuka sipped a bit of coffee and turned her head to stare at the clock in the living room. It was well past midnight and there was no sign of the girl. Shizuka knew she wasn't her mother – thank god for that – but she couldn't help but feel worried about Rumi.

Many a smart and intelligent girls did a lot of stupid things when they finally turned twenty and had their first bottle of beer. Alcohol and youth and hormones made a dangerous cocktail. Recalling her own experience which now seemed like a millennia ago, Shizuka remembered indulging in a game of 'seven minutes in heaven' with a senpai from uni.

She turned out to be a really good kisser.

Shizuka hoped Rumi would have a good time, maybe get drunk and make out with one of her friends. What she hoped she wouldn't do was have a drunken one night stand and regret it the next morning. But Shizuka had to remind herself again that she wasn't her mother, that Rumi was an adult and she should be allowed to make her own mistakes. And just when she was about to feel terribly guilty and call herself a heartless bitch who didn't deserve any love in this world, for not caring enough about her former student and current tenant, the doorbell rang, not once, but twice and in quick succession.

Shizuka placed the coffee cup on the table with a clatter and was on her feet, rushing to open the door. She didn't even consider looking through the peephole, because who else could it be at this time of the night other than Rumi, the girl who had kept her awake till the middle of the night and forced her to down two cups of coffee. Shizuka knew she would have trouble falling asleep tonight. And she knew it was useless to shout at the girl. She wouldn't remember a single thing the next morning, because right now she was totally drunk. As such, Shizuka decided to keep a level head and postpone her shouting until the next morning, when Rumi would be nursing her first hangover. It would be a fitting punishment.

But the sight which greeted her when she opened the door left her entirely flummoxed. She didn't expect to see Hikigaya, her former student, standing on her doorstep in the middle of the night. From the way he opened his mouth, she could tell he was about to make a smart ass comment, but he just stared at her for a moment, faked a cough, found his hands were occupied and then carefully looked away, unable to meet her eyes. It was the figure he had in his arms who broke the silence with her sudden outburst.

"Jeez sensei!" Rumi tried to cover Hikigaya's eyes with her hand. But due to her inebriated state she ended up slapping him in the mouth, then smacking him on the nose and on her third attempt she managed to cover his eyes with her palm. To his credit, the man holding her didn't look remotely annoyed and mouthed 'ow!' just once, and for some reason he decided to play along with the younger woman's drunken antics. Rumi's words were slightly slurred. "Wear some clothes! You can't answer the door in your underwear. Instead of Hachiman, what if, there was some sick and demented perverted who wanted to have his way with you? You would be totally helpless!"

The cold chill of the night hit her and she shivered. But it kinda warmed her heart to know that Rumi cared for her wellbeing even in her drunken state. Though her alcohol addled mind severely impaired her judgment. First of all, it should be pointed out that she had not answered the door in her underwear. Shizuka was wearing a dark purple cami top and a pair of matching shorts. The top had a v-neck with lace trims and spaghetti shoulder straps and the shorts were soft and satin with lace trims at the hems. It could hardly be called indecent, but granted, she shouldn't be dressed in such an ensemble while answering the door, especially when there was a man standing on the other side.

Rubbing her shoulders, suddenly feeling rather self-conscious, Shizuka stepped aside and allowed Hikigaya to walk into her living room. She hoped he would not sneak a peek at her breasts and even if he did, he would not notice how her nipples had stiffened courtesy of the cold breeze which had raked across her body from the dark night on whose face she had been a bit tardy to shut the door.

Hikigaya knew his way around her house. Back when he was still in high school, she had strong armed him into helping her move. Loading and unloading heavy boxes, moving the couch, setting the television set at the perfect angle, it had taken quite a toll on the scrawny young man. It even led to an embarrassing situation where out of all the things, he ended up dropping a small cardboard box and out of it came tumbling a vibrator. Shizuka was left completely red faced and totally embarrassed and she had hemmed and hawed and lied to him, saying it was an electronic massager for her shoulders.

"You see, I –I – I have big boobs!" She had exclaimed. In fact, if she was not really mistaken, Shizuka actually remembered grabbing her breasts and holding them aloft like a pair of watermelons. "So, I get shoulder pain! Yeah, that's right." She had nodded her head profusely. "So that thing is for, you know…my shoulders!"

Shizuka was sure Hikigaya had not believed a single word she had said, even though to sell her lie, she had couched it with a bit of truth – she did suffer from shoulder pains because of her huge breasts – but thankfully he had muttered a small, 'I see' and dropped the matter altogether. From then on, he had treated the rest of her cardboard boxes with the utmost care, like they contained the finest piece of china, which would shatter and break if he got even remotely careless.

Funny thing, memories, Shizuka thought. What had once been a cause of deep embarrassment and humiliation now managed to bring a smile to her face. She blamed time and it's incessant, unstoppable ticking.

Now in her early thirties – yes, she was in her early thirties, she was 34 years old and until she celebrated her birthday next year, she won't describe herself as a woman in her mid-thirties, thank you very much – she had matured a little. And Hikigaya had changed too. Quite a lot in fact. For one thing, he wasn't a scrawny little kid anymore. He was a man now, tall, dark and handsome.

And physically strong, Shizuka mentally added.

He had Rumi in a princess carry, his arms wrapped around her back and behind her knees and despite what they showed in movies or television shows, it was rather difficult to carry a full grown woman in this particular manner. Shizuka couldn't help but feel a bit jealous. And then Rumi banged her head against the doorframe and Shizuka felt a bit better about herself.

You are a horrible person, Shizuka, she mentally chided herself.

Hikigaya returned from depositing Rumi in her bedroom, telling her to quickly change into her pajamas and he had made a quick about turn when the younger woman had flashed him a cheeky grin and tried to take off her top in front of him. Thankfully, the piece of clothing had gotten stuck around her neck, because she had forgotten to unbutton it and though the way she said his name, 'Hachiman?' a question couched in shy innocence and uncertain doubt, the underwear she flashed, a black lingerie number, a display of lace and sheer fabric, Hikigaya knew it was futile to think of her as a girl. She was a woman now. An adult. But she was also heavily drunk and not thinking straight and anything which transpired between them now could only lead to disaster. As such, he quickly stepped out of her room and slammed the door shut behind him. From outside, he repeated the same instructions, 'change into your pajamas' and 'drink lots of water'. In response, he heard something hit the door and if he had to guess, it was probably her clothes. For a second, he wondered what were the chances of her walking out of her bedroom in her bra and panties and whether he should lock the door from outside. But he shook his head and decided against it. Hiratsuka-sensei was there. She was more than capable of handling a drunk twenty year old.

When he made his way into the living room, there was a soft shout of 'catch' and he found himself snatching a can of Maxx Coffee lobbed at his direction. Over the years, especially after he graduated from high school, he had come over to her place on a number of occasions, and even though now he was old enough to drink, his former teacher always offered him his favourite sweetened coffee, unless he specifically asked for something stronger. Tonight was one of those nights, but he reasoned he had plenty to drink at Rumi's birthday party. Hiratsuka-sensei herself opened a chilled can of beer. The half finished cup of coffee lay untouched on the table. She was definitely in the mood for something stronger. Hikigaya thought he should make up an excuse and beat a hasty retreat but she stopped him with a simple command.

"Have a seat."

Hiratsuka-sensei was lounging on the sofa. Hikigaya joined her. He thought this was the perfect opportunity to broach a different subject, the other reason why he was here, apart from making sure that Rumi got home safe, but before he could face the older woman and open his mouth, he heard her down one third of the alcohol from the beer can in one swoop and before he knew it, she started crawling on all fours toward him like a feline. But she wasn't behaving like a sexy kitten. No, her actions were more akin to a tiger who had smelt fresh blood. Hikigaya tried to back away, but he was cornered and she was upon him in a flash.

"Sensei, what are you -!"

At first he thought she was trying to shush him with the way she moved her finger over his mouth, but then he realized that this particular movement of her finger was an action associated with removing something smudged onto his lips. He tried to look her in the eye, to convey how crazy her actions were, but his eyes couldn't help but look elsewhere for a fraction of a second and take in the rest of her. At this angle, he had a prefect view down the front of her cami top. Her large breasts were hanging low like forbidden fruits of a primordial tree and swaying gently in response to her rushed movements.

Rumi was right, he thought, this should count as underwear. She's not wearing anything underneath. For a brief second he caught a flash of a dark nipple and knew it was time to face the music and look the woman in the eye.

Hiratsuka-sensei held up the finger she had used to remove something from his lips. It was now dyed red. Raising a delicate eyebrow, she casually commented. "Got to say, red's not your colour, Hikigaya. You should try black lipstick instead."

There was no point lying to her, so he decided to come clean. "Rumi asked me to come to the party as her date. She introduced me to her friends and at first they believed her. But when we didn't behave all lovey-dovey like a normal couple, some of them got suspicious. I'm not gonna lie sensei. By now she was a bit drunk. So when her friends challenged her to kiss me, well, she didn't think twice."

Shizuka hesitated. A part of her didn't want to know anything further. But there was another voice which egged her to ask for just one more additional detail. "And nothing else happened? One kiss and you just stopped?"

"I know right. I must be a gentleman or something." He joked.

Shizuka felt embarrassed and quickly sought shelter on the other end of the couch, realizing just now that she was almost lying on top of him, straddling his lap. A softly mumbled 'sorry' was enough and before you know it, everything returned to normal between the two of them. They drank their respective beverages, talked and reminisced and told one another what was going on with their lives. Shizuka's was boring, Hikigaya's was exciting. When almost half an hour had passed and their respective cans were empty and discarded into the dustbin, Hikigaya stood up to leave. But not before he dropped a bombshell.

"Sensei, Miura is planning on having a divorce party." He said. "She wanted me to ask you whether or not she can throw the party at your place. It will be a handful of people, everyone you know, mostly girls. Of course, you can always say no. After all, she got a house in the settlement."

Over the years, her big house with three bedrooms had hosted a number of events to celebrate some special milestone of her former students. Of course the reason for the celebration had covered a wide range of events from something completely normal to something bordering on total ludicrousness. They have had 'Haruno's Disowned Party', 'Sagami's Didn't Go To Jail Party', 'Shiromeguri's Coming Out As A Bisexual Party' to name a few. Of course, they have had normal social gatherings too. When Hikigaya formed his own company, a consultation firm which seemed to handle everything under the sun, he didn't have to ask, Shizuka herself had thrown a small celebration to mark the momentous occasion. Compared to all of that, a divorce party sounded quite tame. Besides, it made her empty house seem not too empty for a couple of hours.

But she had a question.

"Why didn't Miura ask me herself?"

Hikigaya scratched his cheek and looked a bit embarrassed. "Ah, she spouted some nonsensical nonsense, about how you are sweet on me and couldn't refuse anything I asked."

If kissing Rumi wasn't proof enough or the fact that he said stuff like 'nonsensical nonsense' out loud, now she knew for a fact that perhaps he had had a bit too much to drink at Rumi's birthday bash. There was no way in hell he would be admitting such things if he was completely sober. The only problem was she had a can of beer as well and was feeling quite bold.

Shizuka chuckled. "Well, she's not wrong." But she wasn't drunk enough and caught herself before she caused a misunderstanding and quickly tacked on. "I mean what she said about me being not able to refuse you anything."

It was only after the words had left her mouth did she wonder whether it ended up doing more damage than she had initially intended, had she instead opted to admit the other truth. To his credit, Hikigaya behaved like a proper gentleman and didn't tease an aging old spinster and her attraction to a younger man which might have led to a freudian slip or a play of liquid courage.

Hikigaya looked at his wristwatch and changed the subject altogether. "It's getting late. I think it's about time I leave."

Shizuka stood up from the couch. "Let me walk you to the door."

Hikigaya didn't protest the unnecessary display of formality. Their relationship had gone well beyond that, but he wouldn't refuse a few additional minutes with her, a small walk together down to the main entrance, where she opened the door and the two of them bid each other 'goodnight'. But he knew it was terribly cold outside and her arms and legs were practically bare. He didn't mind how she was dressed, in fact, he quite liked it, but she was too underdressed to brave the chill of the night, and so, he wordlessly picked up the black satin dressing gown draped over the backrest of the sofa and helped her into it. Shizuka didn't voice a single protest, even when his calloused fingers skimmed her shoulders, her sides and down her waist, though his sharp ears did pick up a small sigh escape from her parted lips. When he took a step back, she loosely tied the small belt around her waist and her form was covered in a shroud of darkness. Nobody else from outside would know what lay hidden within its confines.

Not even him.

Shizuka watched him leave. They had wished each other 'goodnight' and she was now waving goodbye. He waved back and after a short while he vanished into the thick blankets of the dark night. She stood by the entrance for a moment, not really knowing why, braving the cool breeze which made her shiver and rub her shoulders, even though she had on a dressing gown which offered some warmth. But it was nothing compared to the warmth of his fingers on her skin. Though he had only touched her through the fabric of her layered clothing, it had still been quite electrifying. And when his hot breath had tickled the nape of her neck, she had thought she would melt into a puddle of chocolate syrup. She hoped he hadn't heard her sigh, but knowing him he probably had. In fact, she was pretty sure he had offered her the dressing gown, because he had noticed her nipples pebble. He had probably thought it was because of the cold.

Shizuka chuckled. "Silly man."

Author's Note: Hey everyone! Long time no see. I had taken a short break from writing, because I have been experiencing a technical problem in this site. The view counts on all my fics are stuck. It's even worse with the newly published fics/new chapters, because they are showing zero views. And I know that's not possible because I have gotten reviews, favourites and follows to the new chapters/fics.

I don't know if I'm the only one facing this problem or not, but it has really been bothering me. I guess, I didn't like staring at so many zeroes.

So I decided to take a short break and wait for the problem to get fixed. But I kinda underestimated my need to write stories and lo and behold, suddenly I don't have a problem with the zeroes and the view count being stuck...Actually, it still bothers me, but I am trying to ignore it.

Anyway, so I guess you are wondering why you are seeing this fic again. Well, it's because I deleted the second chapter and decided to keep this up as a one-shot. Why did I delete the second chapter? Well, this fic received some backlash, because of how I portrayed Rumi...even though I mentioned clearly that Rumi is 20 years old and an adult in this fic.

But don't worry, you will still get the Hikigaya x Female Character From Different Anime Lemon Fic.

But not here and not in this account.

You will have to head over to my other account - "Alligator Wrestler Hemingway"

Neat name right? I got it from a quote which goes something like - "Writing is the hardest way of earning a living, with the possible exception of wrestling alligators."

And why Hemingway? Because of "The Old Man and The Sea".

Now this is the important bit - I have decided to post "Lemon Fics" and other M-rated Fics in my other account, that is, my "Alligator Wrestler Hemingway" account.

Don't worry, I won't delete "Womanizer" from this account. But my new lemon fics will be posted in my "AWH" account.

And believe me, there will be a ton of lemon fics. In fact, I am thinking of starting a whole series with separate fic for different male protagonists.

I always wanted to write fics for other fandoms and maybe writing lemons is how I'm gonna get my foot through the door.

So, with that said, I want you guys to suggest female characters for this new lemon series which will feature Hikigaya.

And I want you guys to suggest other male characters who can star in their own lemon series.

I look forward to your suggestions.

Take care.

P.S. I changed my profile pic. Is the new pic better or the old one with two Hikigayas was better?