Meredith wanted to yell. She wanted to yell at anyone, it didn't matter who. She wanted to throw everything. She wanted to punch the wall.
But she didn't. She just sat there in her new office and with her new title. She brushed her tears away. She finally got up. She wasn't doing anything good just sitting there. She wanted to go. She wanted a drink. She changed to her jeans and her shirt. She looked at the hospital before leaving. She didn't know how to fix this. She didn't know what was going to come her way after this.
She didn't want to go to Joe's, they kept calling it 'Joe's' even though he sold it years ago. No, she wanted to go somewhere else. Somewhere no one knows her. She simply wanted to drink. She wished Cristina or Alex was here. But they abandoned her too, like everyone else.
She wasn't being fair actually. They've just simply decided to continue their lives somewhere else. Maybe she was wrong when she decided to stay. After 20 minutes of driving, she parked her car. She opened the doors of a bar named 'Roni's'. It seemed like a cool place.
She sat on one of the bar stools. Friendly looking, brunette bartender put a tequila shot in front of her.
"You could use this." Brunette nodded her head and gave Meredith a smile. "On the house."
"Thank you." Meredith nodded her head too. She drank the shot. God, this is nice. "Can I have another one?" She asked the bartender.
"Are you new here?" Brunette asked while pouring another shot, for her and herself.
"No, I have been living here for years but in this bar, yes." She took the shot immediately. "God, this stuff is good." Bartender joined her this time.
"Thank you." Brunette poured them shots again.
"Are you trying to get me drunk?" Meredith asked playfully.
"I've just thought you could use some alcohol. That's all." Bartender leaned. "Or you can start talking. But you don't seem like the type who would talk without a few drinks." Brunette winked. Meredith chuckled.
"Well, I need more than 3 shots to talk about myself." She drank again. She felt a little burn on her throat. Finally, it has started working.
"I own the place and umm.." Bartender looked at her watch. "We have all night." This time, she put 2 glasses on and offered her whiskey.
"I'm guessing you are Roni then." Meredith smiled.
"What gave me away?" They laughed. Meredith sipped from her drink. She was still tense but she felt just fine while talking with the cool bartender.
"I'm Meredith." Meredith smiled and held out her hand. Roni accepted.
"What's your story?" She looked at Roni with wide eyes. She felt like her throat's closing. There wasn't enough oxygen in the world for her to breathe right now. She remembered all those years ago, the same line said by no one. The same no one became her husband. When Derek asked her this question, she was 'just a girl in a bar'. She didn't have a story back then.
She was not just a girl in a bar anymore, she has a story. She looked at Roni. She seemed like a good person. Meredith could see Roni was waiting for an answer. She was worried that Meredith hadn't talked. Meredith shook her head and smiled at all her memories.
"Are you okay?" Roni touched her arm. She looked worried.
"Yeah, I am, Just, I remembered something from years ago. Somebody asked the same question." She smiled but her eyes were foggy.
"Someone important, I believe."
"Yes." Meredith gave a painful smile again. She didn't want to tell their story. She definitely didn't want to even think about it.
Because if she thought about it, she would remember the redhead woman who fall in love with. The same redhead, one day walked through her life with a saying "And you must be the woman screwing my husband.". Who would've thought their story ended like that?
Has their story ended though? She always found Addison attractive, that was one thing. They became friends when she was still in Seattle. Eventually, they only saw each other in important events. Then this year came. After Addison's first uterine transplant, she went out for drinks. Drinks lead to something else. They said 'It was a drunken mistake.' but Meredith hasn't forgotten any of the details for that night.
Then it happened again, they said 'It was a weak moment.'. But no, they couldn't keep in their pants. Whenever they saw each other last year, they found themselves in bed. And everytime they said 'This won't happen ever again.'. It happened always and now those moments were carved into her brain. She loved those late night talkings with Addison.
Addison was there for her. She always knew how to make her smile. She always made sure she was looking after herself. She was so fun and caring and loving…
"And you must be the woman screwing my friend?"
And here.
"Addison?" Meredith's thoughts were cut by the woman who was in her thoughts.
"Meredith." Addison greeted Meredith with a hug.
"You 2, know each other?" Roni asked, looking between 2 women. "For any of your considerations, no one is screwing anyone."
"We go a long way back." Addison smiled and extended her hand for Roni. "How is my favorite bartender?" Roni accepted her hand, gave it a squeeze.
"Like always. You didn't say you were coming to town."
"Well, It was last minute. I have a surgery tomorrow morning and I'm sure you'd have some relaxing for me."
"C'mon Ads, you never need to relax before a surgery. That's your time to shine. But I can always offer you some alcohol." Roni poured a shot. "And dessert." Roni winked at Addison. Meredith had watched this exchange. It started as simple but she saw Addison's affectionate eyes and Roni's seductive tone, especially when she added the last words.
Of course, Meredith had to find the one place for a drink, owned by Addison's friend? lover? friends with benefits? Whatever Roni was didn't matter. Because Meredith was Addison's friend. Just friends, nothing more. Maybe this time, they could keep their promise and continue their lives.
She looked at Roni, the woman who flirted with her minutes ago, Meredith found Roni attractive but right now the only thing she wanted to do is grab Addison and go to her hotel room and fuck the life out of her. She shook her head. Maybe they were just friends who flirted with each other. She looked at the still linked hands. Which friends actually held hands like this?
"Mer, how are you?" She looked back to the green eyes she loved to look.
"I'm fine, Addison. No one told me you were coming."
"Yes, actually Miranda called me about it this morning. One of my patients has a complication."
"Did she also say how she left the hospital?" Meredith felt her blood boil again. Everybody left her.
"No, do you wanna tell me?"
"You will learn tomorrow. Now tell me how you know this place?" and the bartender…
"Remember you were with my ex-husband and the whole hospital was talking about us? I stopped going to places near the hospital and the day I signed my divorce papers I walked through that door. It hadn't been even 6 months since she had opened the place. Then I've watched this place grow. I met Roni back then." Addison looked at the brunette and smiled. "We have been friends since." Roni had the same smile as Addison while looking at her.
"Just friends?" Meredith couldn't keep her curiosity anymore and asked.
"We may have had a few weak moments." Roni answered. Meredith felt her gut clenched. This was Addison's way of saying they fucked. She smiled through her jealousy. Meredith tried to control her feelings. They were friends. If she repeated enough, her feelings would be gone. Meredith realised Roni withdrew her hand from Addison and gave a sheepish smile to Meredith. Like, she understood what was going on with her. Maybe she did. Meredith didn't think Roni had any intentions with Addison more than being friends. "Did I interrupt something?" Addison looked between the women.
"No, we were just talking. Meredith looked like could use a friend when she came in. I was just being there." Roni gave a nod to Meredith, assuring her. Meredith smiled.
"I know what you mean by 'being there', we have been there. I've watched you countless times 'being there' for any woman."
"Do you have a problem with that? We are all grown ups here. Everyone can make their decisions for themselves." Roni gazed over Addison for a moment. "Not you, if I remember correctly. You like someone to tell you things." There it was, that seductive, sexy tone again. Roni challenged Addison with that. Meredith felt her gut clenching again with the exchange.
"I– I.. don't." Addison tried to sound normal but her trembling voice and her cheeks started to gain her pinkish colour whenever she was aroused. Meredith couldn't believe, with Roni's few words and tone, Addison was ready to be fucked by behind the bar. This unlocked a new image for Meredith. Did they ever do it in this bar? No, whatever happened between them, that doesn't concern Meredith. She didn't have anything over Addison.
"Yes, you see. You can't even control your voice over mine." Then Roni leaned over Addison and whispered towards Addison. If Meredith wasn't close enough, she wouldn't hear her. "I can make you cum right now without even touching you. Don't test me Red." Roni went back to her standing position and her face remained smirking towards Addison.
Addison gulped. Her cheeks were red, not even pink. She looked at Roni with pleading eyes. Please don't. Her lips remained a thin line. Meredith looked between them while her insides were crushing. She didn't wanna see this anymore. This has to happen today of all days. How many times Meredith had to cross paths with someone in Addison's past? Roni didn't seem like a past though. But she was sure, it wasn't current either. Addison shook her head to clear Roni.
"Okay, enough of this Roni. I don't like it when you do that."
"Did she really make you come without touching?!" Meredith asked with her brows reaching her hairline.
"I really wanna talk about that." Addison shook her head again, not liking this conversation a bit. She looked over Roni, who was still smirking and turned her full attention to Meredith. "What happened?"
Meredith felt her shoulders down. Her eyes started to sting with the memories of today. "Everybody left." She finally let out.
"What do you mean by 'everybody left' ?" She looked at Addison's eyes, they were looking at her with concern and worry. She waited for an answer.
"Owen and Teddy had to leave. Bailey gave me the keys to the chief's office and said 'you bought it, you fix it.'. Nick just left and Richard had the audacity to tell me Ellis Grey would finally be proud of me." Meredith took a deep breath to block her tears. "I'm all alone and I own a hospital which is going down so fast, I can't fix it all by myself. I lost everyone." Meredith's voice started trembling in the middle of the conversation. Addison waited for words to sink in. She wanted to tell Meredith, everything is gonna be okay, but she wasn't sure about that. She gave an understanding towards Meredith. Meredith took a sip from her glass which Roni just refilled them.
"I've never seen you take a loss, Meredith. You feel like this because it's still fresh. You will drink and have a laugh with us tonight and won't think about it, okay?" Meredith gave a nod. "Then tomorrow, we will make a plan." Addison smiled and held her hands in hers. "You are not alone, Meredith. I'm here and I will be here whatever the way I can." Addison assured her. They smiled at each other. Meredith knew Addison would be there for her. Unfortunately, this gave her another rush of feelings for Addison. She remembered their early days, they kept calling her Satan but when they were here, looking at each other with all the love in the world, or Meredith thought so, Addison was nothing but an angel.
"Thank you, Addison. I'm glad you are still here for me."
"Always for my best student." She winked.
"I may not have been so helpful with your hospital but I can always offer you something to drink." Roni smiled.
"Thank you, Roni." Meredith said. "Where is the restroom?" She asked. Roni showed the way.
"Is this the same Meredith who was dating with your ex-husband and then you started developing feelings and you fled to LA and then came back learnt that they were not together anymore but you didn't do anything and went back to LA and then they got married, had kids and her husband died and until last year you haven't realise your feelings were still there until you kissed her in the elevator then went out for drinks and the same Meredith you were sleeping with until today?"
"When you put it like that, it sounds weird." Addison nod. "Yes, it's the same Meredith and I don't appreciate you flirting with her before I came in. Also, don't challenge me like that again. She doesn't need to know what happened between us yet. I love her, Roni. You of all people know that."
"I know, Addie. I won't do it again. But can I just share my observations?" Roni waited for Addison's approval to continue. She gave it. "I think you have to tell her how you feel. I don't think you will receive a negative outcome. Trust me, I can understand from people's looks and you both look at each other with a love that no one can compare." Roni held her friend's hand. "I want you to be happy and I think you can be happy with her now."
"I don't know, Roni. Her life is broken right now. I don't want to add another thing for her."
"I think you can erase something from her head. You can be there for her. You are already here for her."
"You think so?"
"Yes, you'll be okay." They shared a smile. Meredith came back from the restroom.
"I think I'll call it a night." Meredith put her coat on. "Thank you Roni, for everything." She smiled tiredly to the bartender. "I'll see you tomorrow, Addison."
"Do you wanna go back to my hotel and talk about this?" Addisson blurted out. She heard Roni's 'subtle' murmur and looked at her with a deadly glare.
"Are you sure?" Meredith knew this. They were in this position a few times, they always ended up the same. She would love to go with Addison but she knew what would happen after.
But she had nothing to lose at this point.
"Yes"
"Okay, let's go."
"Bye Roni!" Addison said her goodbye and then left the bar together with Meredith.
—
"Come in," Meredith said without lifting her head from the papers.
"Authority looks good on you, Chief Grey." Addison said.
"Addison?" Meredith lifted her head and looked at the redhead.
"Hello, darling." Addison smiled. "Are you ready?"
"For you, always." She walked to her girlfriend and gave her a kiss on the lips.
"Okay, let's go. Roni has been texting me all day. She wants us to meet someone 'special' she said and I've never seen her describing someone like that."
"Hahaha, I get that. Let's go and meet this wonderful person." They left the hospital hand in hand and drove to their favourite place.
"Hey Roni!" They both said together. Meredith became friends after learning that she gave Addison courage to say her feelings. Roni turned to them behind the bar, holding a baby boy.
"Guys meet Henry." They immediately cooed at the baby.
Addison was holding the baby in her arms when they were sitting at the couch at the bar. Meredith looked at Addison.
6 months ago, she came here to drink everything away. Today, her hospital was working again. She had the most beautiful woman on her side and she was lucky enough to kiss her everytime she wanted. She had the most amazing kids a mother could ask for. She leaned on and kissed Addison.
"What was that for?"
"Everything." Meredith smiled and put her head to Addison's shoulder. She had everything.