As much as I did not want to have to go to the offices, the contracts that Sir Courtenany had sent our way were in and needed my approval. Mr. Keller was very apologetic about it, and the staff when we arrived gave small nods to Will as he made his way past. My office seemed cold and harsh in the afternoon light streaming through the window, and I drew the curtains before sitting down and beginning to sort through them. I glanced up when I saw Will pull the drape over the window that looked out onto the clerk's desks. 'Something wrong?"

"I don't like them looking at me like I'm a condemned man." He grimaced, shaking his head. "I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all, it makes it feel like we're still at home." I smiled, watching as he sat down across the desk from me. "You know, you might be able to sign some of these. I mean, technically, we own this company together."

"I thought your mother was the co-owner."

"She is, but we own everything we brought into the marriage together." I leaned across, letting him get a good look down the sheer shirtwaist I was wearing. "So technically, you own a quarter."

"I hardly think that allows me to sign contracts." He was very clearly leering at me, and gave a chuckle. "Although I trust you to keep my shares in good standing until I can come back."

"Oh, my husband is permitting me to act as his proxy, I'm so honored." I joked, turning back to the contracts on the desk. To be quite honest, they were incredibly boring. Contracts relating to the transport of wheat, potatoes, corn and barley were stacked in one spot. Refrigerated holds were to be turned over to transport large amount of meat, more holds moving tinned vegetables and meats.

It was actually rather boring, and I stopped reading them after awhile.

The signing was monotonous and eventually I was signing my name by rote. Will did his best to distract me, keeping up a running commentary as he sorted through the various piles. "Oh Christ Ana, tinned beef. You will have to send me something to keep me sane."

"I can hardly ship a crown roast over." I teased, "Although perhaps some of Morgan's cookies."

"Oh I would have to hide those, I can imagine everyone stealing them."

"I could always send some of my gingerbread to throw them off the scent." I sighed, standing up to stretch. "You would just have to pretend that it tasted good for a bit."

He winced, "I'm not sure if I could pull that off."

I stood, coming around to sit on the desk in front of him. "Oh come now, was it really so bad?"

"The dog wouldn't even eat it." Will leaned back, grinning. "Although Oscar did at least pretend to enjoy it."

I rolled my eyes, moving to his lap. "You really need to stop torturing him." I pressed a kiss to his lips, "There's no point to it."

"Well, he'll be free of me for awhile." Will gave a wistful smile, but leaned forward to kiss me firmly. "Can we not talk about him?" In response I moved forward and slipped my tongue into his mouth, feeling him groan underneath me. My skirt was full enough that I could hike it it some to allow myself to straddle him, and Will let his hands wander down my back as he pulled me tight to him.

Then I began to move.

He cursed under his breath at that, and clutched me even tighter to him. I could feel him stirring under me, and I rubbed myself against him even harder. I wanted him, I wanted him every moment until there wasn't a moment to be had. But then Will's hands gripped my hips, holding me in place. "Ana, did you hear that?"

I glanced towards the door, thinking that someone may have been walking by. "No?"

"The chair, it sounds like it's going to break if we keep going like this." He glanced sidelong at my desk, "But that won't." My heart started hammering, for I always loved it when Will bent me over something. He was rather fast and rough when he did that, and that was what I wanted at the moment. So Will let his hands linger on my hips as I leaned over, and I felt his fingers slide down to lift my skirt up.

The wind was a bit cold on my thighs when Will pulled my chemise up, and I heard him chuckle. "Nervous?"

"Excited." I muttered, "I always like it when you do this."

"Then I'll endeavor to leave you with a good memory." Will gave my hips a squeeze as he lined himself up, and I groaned as I felt him enter me. Whatever it was about this position, the angle, the way he would strike something deep within me that quickly had me panting. Fortunately my desk was heavy enough that it didn't move when he thrust into me, although I was quickly quivering.

Until someone knocked on the door.

Mr. Keller's voice was muffled, "Mrs. Murdoch? Are you in there?"

"Uh, ah, yes Mr. Keller." I raised my head from the desk, looking back at Will. He'd shallowed his thrusts, but he was still moving within me. I waved my hand for him to stop, and he huffed through his nose as he did so.

The doorknob shivered slightly. "Alone?"

"Not," I almost moaned as Will suddenly shoved himself home, feeling my self flush as I barely kept it down. "Oh God, not quite."

Will grunted from behind me. "Ana, ah, send him off."

"I'll, I'll just come by later for the contracts, it that's alright?"

Will had begun to move again, and I couldn't help myself. "Oh yes, yes!" Fortunately Will couldn't last much longer, and neither could I. If anyone noticed how my legs wobbled slightly as I walked downstairs, no one mentioned it. Although Mr. Keller had suspiciously left for the day, not that Will or I mentioned it. Instead we talked of everything but the fact that he would be leaving in a few days, and distracted ourselves in bed that night.

The next day, the day before he left, Will stepped out in the late morning. He assured me that it was only a quick errand, and that he would be back before I knew it. I was all smiles, telling him that it was alright and I understood. Perhaps he simply wanted to be sure his new trunks were on the ship, or maybe he had to settle some business at the Consulate. I tried to keep myself busy, made a trip down to the kitchen to see Mrs. Vangerten, and eventually decided to resume my sewing.

It was been some time since I had sat at my own sewing machine, and I had to do a little oiling to get it back running. The sewing room was stocked with patterns, courtesy of Liz who felt that every time she saw something she liked I had to have a pattern for it too. But I lacked fabric, trimmings, and even my supply of thread was low. I sighed as I considered the shirtwaist pattern I had decided on. I would need a list, and perhaps it would be good for me to distract myself once Will had left. I could go shopping with Liz, that would help. And I'm quite sure Will would find my letters about sewing entertaining, and I could even send over a shirt for Christmas.

I had just gotten to my office door, intent on collecting paper and pen to write my list, when I ran into my husband. Quite literally, although he was quick to catch me. "You're back."

He gave my arms a squeeze, "I was just leaving something for you in the office, for tomorrow."

"Oh." I fought down my frown. "I'm glad you're back."

"I brought something for you now, too." He smiled, just a bit. "It's down in the sitting room, would you like to see it?" I nodded, holding tight to him as we made our way down the stairs. Rigel was more than happy to come across the both of us, and trotted after us into the sitting room. Will didn't even comment as Rigel laid himself across the floor in front of the fireplace, instead drawing me down onto the settee. "I had to rush off to pick it up."

I felt my heart begin to flutter when he pulled the small box from his jacket pocket. "You didn't have to do that."

"I couldn't leave you with nothing." He held the box out. "Here, open it." I took it, gently prizing open the lid. Resting inside on a black velvet cushion, was a small silver pendant. It had been made in the shape of a ship's wheel, and held in the center was a crystal that had been engraved and painted with the emblem of the Reserves.

I gave a little gasp as I pulled it out, a silver chain snaking behind it. "Oh Will, it's lovely."

"I heard about these during the Boer War, apparently they're called sweetheart necklaces. A sailor's gift to the lady he's leaving behind." Will curled my hand around the little wheel, wrapping his own hands around mine. "Wear it when you think of me, please?"

At that I shook his hands off, stringing the necklace around my throat. "Then I won't ever take it off, because I'll always be thinking of you."

"Ana," His voice was thick, and he leaned down to rest his forehead on mine. "I don't know what I ever did to deserve you."

"I'm the one who doesn't deserve you." I muttered, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. I wanted that moment to last forever, to just have him here by me, warm and alive and the both of us safe. I didn't want him to leave, and I didn't want to watch him go. We had discussed that once, and I had told him I couldn't watch his ship leave. He had simply nodded, and that had been that.

But now I was in his arms, holding tight to him and trying not to cry that I may not ever feel this much love again. Eventually it had to end though, Rigel squeezed himself between us and we at least let go of each other laughing instead of sniffling. Mother and Oscar had both proposed having a party to send Will off, but I had declined. I wanted him all to myself, although I couldn't help a bit of pride when our dinner was brought up.

Will greedily inhaled as the cloche over the main dish was removed, perfectly cooked salmon fillets seasoned just as he liked. "Did you make these?"

"I helped with the spices," I sniffed, enjoying the scent myself. "Mrs. Vangerten handled the actual cooking. I thought you might like it."

"I love it." He took two of the fillets for himself, "Thank you." We ate slowly, not wanting the night to end. I did my best to not pick at my food, even though my stomach was all knotted. It took a long time to finish everything on my plate, and then dessert, which meant it was late when I was able to slide into bed. I had expected Will to want me again, perhaps fiercely, but he was soft and tender that night. I sighed under his touch, held him close as he moved over me, and fell asleep draped over his chest after I could no longer keep my eyes open.

In the morning, it took everything I had to not latch myself to Will when he left the bed. Instead I continued on as if I was sleeping, even though I hadn't caught a wink all night. I listened as he moved to his dressing room, he left the door open and I could hear the rustle of fabric as he drew on his uniform. His steps were much more noticeable when he came back, his oxfords loud on the wooden floor. I didn't flinch as he sat on the bed, a hand coming out to stroke my cheek.

"Ana, it's time." His voice was quiet, and I slowly opened my eyes. He looked so handsome in his Reserves uniform that it was almost painful, his hat on his knees as he smiled at me. "Promise me, no crying."

"No, no." I shook my head, sitting up and curling my arms around him. "But I want a promise from you, too."

His hands tightened around me. "Anything."

"Come back." I pulled back to look him in the eye. "I don't care if you're missing an arm or a leg, or blind. I just want you back." I took a moment to suppress the sob that was threatening to escape. "And if you get the chance for a desk job, something safe, you take it. Don't try to be a hero or anything like that, I just want you to come back." I dropped my hands to his lapels, wrapping them in the cloth. "Promise me, Will."

His hands gripped mine tightly. "I promise Ana, I promise that I will do everything that I can to come back." I pressed my head to his chest, focusing only on the feel of him so that I didn't think about how I would be losing him shortly. "I love you Anastasia, and there is nothing that will stop me from coming back."

"I love you William," I mumbled into his chest, feeling my voice crack at his name. "So much."

There was a knock at the door, Reggie's voice low. "The cab is here, Mr. Murdoch."

I clutched him all the tighter at that, and I felt him hold me tighter. "Ana, I have to go."

"I know."

"I don't want to."

"I know."

"I've left a letter on your desk upstairs, read it for me?"

"Of course."

"And you'll write me every few days and I'll write you, right?"

"Yes, Will." It took everything I had to pull away from him. "And you'll read all the naval books I had sent over?"

He stood, putting his hat on. "And send you reports." He leaned down, pressing a kiss to my cheek. "Until we meet again, love." I could only nod, for if I opened my mouth I would begin crying and would never stop. He stepped away, moved to the door, and paused for a moment. "Ana?"

Having dropped my face to my hands, I started at the sound of his voice. "Will?" He took three strides to cross back over to the bed, wrap me in his arms, and kiss me like I was the only woman alive. At that point the tears sprang out, as I clutched him to me. Fortunately, his tongue silenced any sobs that almost came out, and it took Reggie calling him again to make him stop. I whispered my last words to him. "I love you, Will."

"I love you, Ana." He whispered back, and his hands shook as he let go of me. My eyes were so filled with tears that I couldn't see him open the door and step out, and I at least managed to hold the sobs down until I was sure he was gone. But then I let loose, so strongly that Rigel almost barreled through the door to me. I couldn't stop, bawling loudly and for a very long time. I didn't want breakfast, I didn't want lunch, I just wanted Will back.

I was late afternoon by the time I managed to get out of bed, throwing on a dressing gown and slowly climbing the stairs. When I pushed open the door Rigel moved past me, doing his best to appear absolutely adorable by wagging his tail and bounding around the room. I gave a ghost of a smile, more focused on the letters placed just so on my desk than his antics.

My name was scrawled across the first envelope in Will's elegant handwriting, and I opened it slowly. He'd filled several sheets, and I deliberately kept the letter over the desk so I didn't spot it with tears.

My Darling Ana,

I know my words will mean little to you at the moment, but I want you to have them to read over until I return. I hope that anytime you doubt my feeling for you, you will read this letter and know just how much you mean to me. I know that I call you my harbor, but Ana, the truth is you are the very sun in my life. After Ada I felt so dark and gray, and I did not think that I would know happiness again.

And then I met you.

You brought back light and life, and suddenly I no longer felt weary and alone in the world. I wish our lives had not had such upheaval, but I would not trade it for anything if it meant that I would never have met you. I know you must think me cruel and heartless to leave you to go to war, but I feel as you do. Please do not hate me for this. My heart breaks to leave you, especially to leave you in such a state. But you know duty as well as I do, and I wish I could be the man to shirk that duty in favor of his own desires.

But I am not.

I am a man who cannot leave my friends and family, my home, to the hardships of war to linger here in safety and luxury. Do not think that is your fault, or that there was something you could have done that would have made me stay. There was nothing you could do Ana, and the decision was a struggle for me. But Ana, I do not want you to linger in sadness, I want you to live your life as I was still by your side. It would be a great comfort to me to know that you were as happy and carefree as you were before all of this, I would be glad to read letters about the latest party after coming off a long, cold watch. It would gladden my heart to know that you were waiting for me happily.

I have no doubt you will throw some large party for every victory for the British, but they will all be dwarfed by my welcome home celebrations, I am positive about that. But if reading about the war upsets you, then don't. Wait for my letters, for I will write you every day, even if it is nothing more than a few words. But every single one will be filled with my love for you, because that will never change. I will sign them every time as Your Jolly Sailor Bold, and remember Ana, there is nothing a sailor wants more than to return to His Harbor.

With all of my love,
-Your Will

I wanted nothing more than to curl myself around the letter and wail, to cry out my pain and sadness and fear. But there were a few more envelopes that had been left. One read Last Will and Testament. There was a note for him that he'd left a copy with our lawyer, but the Will itself was short. I leave everything to my beloved wife, Anastasia Victoria Dalian Murdoch. I shoved that back into its envelope and threw it across the room. But it was the last envelope that made my hand shake as I picked it up. To be opened only in the event of my death.

I locked that in a drawer in my desk, a drawer that I never used. After downing a slug of brandy, I clutched the one letter to me, moving to the windows. I knew I wouldn't be able to see it, that his ship had more than likely already left, but I picked a random ship heading out of the harbor and decided it was his. "Come back Will, please. I can't do this without you."