Her body pressed against mine was the most alluring and yet completely innocent experience of my life. It made me think of holding onto her forever. I could see myself waking up every morning with her in my arms and that is a dangerous thought. Had I simply woken up horny I could forgive myself. She's a pretty woman and I am a man who has been celibate for five years. It's only natural if my body reacts to her. I can ignore those bodily needs though. If only that was the only reaction I had to her. However, the feeling I have when I wake up with her legs tangled in mine is much worse than simply waking up hard. If morning wood were all I had to worry about I could slip out of bed and calmly go to my room to relieve myself. The problem is that instead of extracting myself from her and leaving the bed as quickly as possible I pulled her in closer and breathed in her intoxicating scent. My fingers sank into her hair and I lost myself in the feel of her soft body cradled so delicately in my arms. I allowed myself to pretend for a moment that the little oddball in my arms was mine and it was our baby sleeping in his crib.
"Kyoko." I heard myself sigh and she began to stir. Shit.
Too quickly I let her go and jumped out of bed. She awoke with a start and asked me if something was wrong. I bolted out of her room without a word. I'm the worst. I could tell at breakfast that she was concerned about me, maybe she was even a little hurt by my actions, but I ignored her questions.
I'm a coward for hiding in my home office. I'm not sure if it would make me more or less of a coward to go into my office at LME. It's not as though I need to be there to get my work done but I don't really need to stick around the house either. Except Kuu and Julie won't be home tonight and Yashiro-san has things he needs to do. What would that girl do if we left her home alone? She's squirrely and likely to run if we don't keep track of her. Where would she go? The restaurant? That wouldn't be terrible. That couple would look after her and the baby and I could check up on her. Which is probably why she wouldn't go there. She would end up on the streets again if she ran away from us. My parents would be heartbroken and have no clue why Tina would run. I think for their sake I should stay at home and make sure she stays here.
She's probably thinking of running right now. I've heard her mumbling about not being able to pay us back as though we would ever need her to. Her guilt will probably drive her away however and I can't let that happen. After a few hours of phone calls I head to the kitchen in need of water.
"Kuon-sama, I didn't realize you were still home. We could have brought you water and a snack to your office." Chiharu-san says when he spots me in the fridge.
"No, that's alright. I needed to stretch my legs for a bit. Is this Kuu's after work cake?" I ask about the chocolate bomb on the counter under an ornate glass cloche.
"That is his back up cake. In case the first one isn't enough." Chiharu-san says motioning to the corner where a cake large enough for a wedding is sitting. How did I miss that? I must be too used to my weirdo parents that the normal sized cake was the one that seemed out of place.
"Could you cut a slice for Tina-san to have for dessert? I think she would like it."
"Yes, sir." Chiharu-san says with a slight blush. I wonder what that's about.
On my way back to my office I go the long way around so I can peek in on Kyoko trying to help with the cleaning. Her eyes light up when she sees me but I hurry back to my office before she can say anything. I really am such a coward. Sometime later I text Chiharu-san to send everyone home. If Kyoko wants to clean and do things for herself then maybe we should let her. Maybe then she won't feel like she owes us so much.
Just as I am finishing up my work my phone reigns. I sigh and my eye twitches at the name on the caller ID. I have no desire to talk to her but work is work. I'm actually surprised she didn't call sooner.
"Good evening Shoko-san, how may I help you?" I ask in the most pleasant voice I can muster. It isn't her fault her client is a piece of shit but I find it hard to not associate her with him.
"Good evening Hizuri-san." she replies with trepidation in her voice.
What could that boy want that she's afraid to ask for? There is a long pause. I think of asking her why she called but I'm struggling to not come off as rude. As far as she knows Fuwa behaved himself as best as was to be expected. I doubt she's aware of Kyoko or Eric. She has no reason to suspect that I have reason to utterly loathe her charge.
"Forgive me for calling so late but I needed to follow up about having Heel-san promote the song. Sho is appearing on…"
"Setsuka-san went back to England." I interrupt her. There is no way he's ever going to see her again.
"Wha… uh… but she needs to come help Sho with the promotion. We were hoping she would appear with him to sing the song together." She says, sounding flustered.
"Sorry but she had other obligations. Do not worry, LME will have her record a message for radio stations and we will promote not only the song but Fuwa's new album."
"I'm sorry Hizuri-san but this is unacceptable. Sho was expecting to see her."
"I don't care what Fuwa was expecting." I say gripping the phone too tightly. He's never going to have her again. I won't let him near her.
"Hizuri-san, we have a contract…"
"Yes, and it states that one of our singers will sing a song with him. He wanted Ruriko but she was busy. I do apologize for that and I thank you for being understanding. However, Fuwa-san is in no position to make demands. Setsu is a very busy woman and has no obligation to entertain a low level idol. He made it very clear what he wanted from her and she refused. Let that be the end of it." I say and Shoko-san is silent for a moment.
Let her think that Fuwa was inappropriate towards Setsuka. If he had touched her, Cain would have ripped his heart out. Fuwa has no idea how close I actually came to doing just that. If he knew then he wouldn't have put Shoko-san up to the task of asking for Setsuka.
"Hizuri-san, are you accusing Sho of something?" Shoko-san asks.
I roll my eyes. I have no doubt that she knows all too well how inappropriate Fuwa can be when a pretty girl is involved.
"Not at all but maybe in the future you should keep a closer watch over your charge. If there is nothing else I would like to get back to work." I say before rudely ending the call. I really wouldn't care if LME had no further connection to Fuwa.
I should check on Kyoko again. I wonder if she'll let me hug her. I've had kind of a long day of phone calls and documents to look over. I could really just use a rest. I'm such a pervert. I should just stay in my office until dad comes home. He'll keep me from putting my hands on that girl. I have my own apartment to go back to. There's no reason for me to continue to sleep here. I have to put some distance between us before I forget myself and do something unthinkable to her. I begin to pack up my things but there's a knock at my door.
I can't resist her. I know I should but the thought that it's as if we are a little family at home for the evening consumes me. I want this and that's dangerous. I'm like a man possessed by their cuteness. Whenever I look at these two I feel as though my heart is exposed. It's standing in front of me needing warmth and protection. I cannot help but pull the baby into my arms. I want to pull her in as well but I resist. She tells me to eat so I eat. How can she not see that she has a strange power over me? I'll go to the christmas party if that's what she wants. I'll eat meals with Kuu and Julie and change diapers and be anything she wants. She deserves someone warm and kind.
I bring her the cake and I can't help but think that she deserves someone far better than I could ever be. I can't help myself though and I kiss the corner of her mouth. I don't deserve her.
What must she think of me? There is no reason for me to kiss her anymore. That worthless Fuwa isn't here harassing her. We're not pretending to be those weird siblings she invented. She probably thinks I'm a pervert taking advantage of her. Just like that stupid boy did. I have to put an end to my perverted behavior.
I look down at the baby in my arms and peaceful face sucks me in again. He must be all hers and have nothing of his father in him. There's no way the angel in my arms could be that boy's son. Little Eric stirs and his lips part to let out a sigh. I swoon at the sheer adorableness and I feel overwhelmed by the urge to have more kids. We could have at least three more little ones. I think Kuu and Julie would insist on at least one more. Knowing Julie she'd want a girl. I might like that too. A little Kyoko with warm golden brown eyes and blond ringlets.
"Can I have my baby back?" Kyoko asks, and I look up at her with a stupid smile on my face.
She seems annoyed yet bashful. My eyes meet her gaze and her cheeks color. She quickly looks away. So cute.
I clench my jaw and sigh. I have to stop thinking like this. She is never going to be mine. At least not the way I want. I shake my head. What am I thinking? I don't want her. She's a con-artist. More importantly, I don't have time for dating. I have a company to run. I'm still mourning too. That must be why I'm feeling this way. I'm sad and lonely without my brother. I'm placing my emotions on her because she's cute and sweet and… no stop it. Stop thinking about her like that.
"Kuon-san?" She says my name and my heart melts again. She takes a seat beside me and places her hand on my arm.
"How," I stop myself from asking how could anyone hurt you? She could never answer that question anyway. She cocks her head in question and I shake mine. "How was the cake?"
"Very good thank you." She says that dreamy look in her eyes. She gets like that whenever something is extremely delicious. I chuckle and her look changes instantly to one of guarded annoyance. "Did you do something to it?"
"What? No." What did Fuwa do with her food?
"It didn't look like it had been dropped on the floor but maybe something else." She mumbles to herself.
"I didn't do anything to it, I promise." I say tilting her head up to look at me. "I'm not that horrible am I?"
It takes her a second too long to answer and my heart plummets. Does she think I'm a fiend? She shakes her head no but I'm still worried. I brush a lock of hair behind her ear.
"I would never mess with your food." I say sincerely.
We stay locked in each other's gazes for a moment. I think she leans up as if to kiss me but then Eric wakes up with a wail.
"Oh, sweetheart what's wrong?" I ask the baby as though he understands. He continues to wail unaffected by my cajoling voice but I can smell what the problem is.
"I'll change him." Kyoko says reaching for him but I stand up and walk over to the changing table. "Hey, Kuon." She follows me and tries to peek over my shoulder. "I can do it."
"I'm sure you can." I say as I toss the dirty diaper in the diaper genie and grab a clean one.
Kyoko pushes herself beneath my arm and watches as I clean Eric before closing up the new diaper. Now that he's clean he's more calm but he's still fussing. He must be hungry. She scoops him into her arms before I can but I surprise her by pulling her into my arms and kissing her forehead.
"I'll go." I say laying another kiss on her head. I know I should stop but she's just too cute. She glares up at me but there is a light pink tinge to her cheeks.
"Go where?" She grumbles.
"To the Christmas party. If you want me to go then I will." I say leaning down to kiss Eric's head.
"You don't have to." She says cradling him to her chest and rubbing his back. "I know you don't want to. I was being selfish when I pestered you about it because," she pauses to look down at her feet. "I thought it might be nice to have someone there who knows my birthday is the twenty-fifth. It was silly of me though. You don't have to go."
I cup her cheek and lean down to kiss her nose. "We'll go together."
It seems the more I tell myself to stop, the more I want to like her. I lean in to kiss her lips and she raises on her tippy toes.
"Kids, I'm home!" Kuu announces and I jump away before I can fully press my lips to hers.
"Uh, I should feed Eric." Kyoko says before scurrying away. "Welcome home, Kuu-san." she calls down once she is safely up the stairs.
"Your face is red." My dad says with a stern look. "I told you to behave yourself."
"I didn't do anything." I sound like a sulking child.
"Which room are you heading to?" Dad asks, his expression turning smug. Like he's goading me into defiance. Great now he probably thinks that we're cute together like mom does.
"Mine." I respond too quickly and aggressively for him to believe me.
"Oh, son," he sighs. "I like her too, but I don't think you're going about things the right way. Sleeping together and…"
"We haven't done anything." I say, sounding even more like a petulant spoiled brat.
Not that we haven't come close. He's right though, it would be wrong to continue on this way. Maybe instead of trying to put distance between us, which has worked anyway, I should try to explain to her that I like her for more than her body. I should try being a better friend to her and cut back on the make out sessions. Maybe then we could have a more normal relationship. Not that I deserve someone like her but how else can I protect her from Fuwa.
My phone pings with a text from her. I check it to see that she wants to know if I'm going to come up so we can read together.
Kuu sighs again but then waves his hand at me, shooing me out of the room. "She's calling for you."
"Right." I say, "Goodnight, father."
I go to her without a second thought to any of the consequences. I'll be teased by my parents for sure. I will become more confused about my feelings for her. She will misunderstand our relationship but I don't even understand it. For now I'll pick up our book from her nightstand. I will sit on her bed with every intention of reading a chapter before going to my own room. I'll read until the three of us are fast asleep and tomorrow I will wake wrapped in her sweet warmth. If only I could say that this was only lust. If only my heart didn't skip at the thought of holding her forever. Then I wouldn't have to run away from her in the morning.