Interlude IV: Confrontation
US- we'll keep this short and sweet. Time for us to check in on Keiko and see what goes on inside that head of hers… this is a selection of scenes that a lot of people have been waiting a lot of time for.
If you need a quick reminder of Joseph's plot threads, please check the last chapter where we left a nice summary.
DV- Schadenfreude, one might say.
US- this will be the last update for awhile until we're finally ready to drop Arc 5 on you, but we have a lot of fun things planned for that arc. So until then… enjoy the interlude.
Disclaimer: shorter this time - but same answer. No ownership of Pokemon here.
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If there was one thing Keiko had learned from a young age, it was to roll with the punches and never give up. No matter how often she was knocked down, no matter how unfairly the world treated her, she remembered the words her Matriarch had kept on repeating to her: 'you'll never reach your happily ever after if you don't work hard enough for it. If you won't bleed for it, then you don't deserve it'.
Keiko admired her fathers Alpha. She'd taken a large role in raising all of his children and been responsible for her education and upbringing - while her birth mother had allowed herself to be pushed to one side. Keiko didn't hate her mother, but she certainly had no intention of ending up like the woman who was practically a stranger to her by the time she'd been ready to be given away.
The Matriarch was Keiko's role model - an idol. Beautiful, strong, confident: all things she too wished to be. She joined her fathers harem relatively later on and had to claw her way to every bit of affection and power in the group dynamic that had already had years to settle before she arrived. She didn't become the Alpha by playing around, and she didn't get her father to put a ring on her finger by quitting the moment things failed to go her way. Her reign as the Matriarch hadn't gone unchallenged, and she'd needed to knock down each and every rival that sought to take away that dream life she'd crafted for herself.
How could she not admire that?
So the Vulpix could deal with setbacks. She could accept that maybe things weren't going as well with her Tamer as she would like. She could admit that she'd misjudged his character early on and perhaps the personality she'd picked out to try and make those early days easier wasn't the most fitting one she could have picked. She could acknowledge all this and still pick herself back up.
Because her happily ever after wasn't out of reach. She had plenty of time still to work on her Tamer and no real competition (Sophie was a wet sweater-chest without the courage to pose any kind of threat, and even considering Amora as anything but a victim seemed wrong). If she worked hard she could make something real, perhaps. If she kept at it, surely Joseph would fall for her charms. Right?
But the one she couldn't accept… was what Joseph had just told her.
He'd been off his game for the entirety of the last week of their 'holiday', but she knew better than to press him too hard on the matter. And then once they got on their booked boat to Cherrygrove he'd first pulled away Amora for a private talk, before inviting Keiko to sit with him in their cabin to deliver the bad news.
"What the fuck do you mean you're fucking Mia!?" For a moment, Keiko's composure snapped. She'd seen the signs and specifically warned him away from this exact outcome before, and had even told Mia to her face to back off the first chance she'd had to speak to her alone. And yet even so, it had come to this.
"Just as I told you." Joseph said, an unreadable expression on his face. He hadn't even risen to the taunt about him sleeping with the other Tamer. "It's not a complicated thing to understand. Me and Mia are dating now. We've both agreed to make sure we put out Pokegirls first, and we are taking it very slow. Nevertheless, we are dating."
"I don't care whether you're taking it slow or not! Not when you're fucking another woman!" It wasn't an unreasonable issue to have. Mia wished the cabin was larger if only so she could pace around in it rather than being as uncomfortably close to Joseph as he was, only sitting across from him on a different bed.
Because this wasn't just a surprise. This wasn't just an unreasonably stupid and unprofessional thing for him to do. This was an insult and a slap to the face.
Wasn't she good enough for him?
"What the hell does she have that I don't anyway? My body is twice as hot as hers and I bet she wouldn't be willing to do half the things I am with you in the bedroom. So why?"
His eyes narrowed without any sympathy for her. "This isn't about you, Keiko. And it's not about sex." He laughed, a little bit bitter. "The sex is the furthest thing from it. No, I just like her as a person. Shocking twist, I know. And I'm telling you because it would be irresponsible to try and keep it a secret. It won't impact our weekly 'sessions'."
Did he expect those words to make it hurt less? Did he think any of that would make this insult any less blatant?
So Keiko laughed in his face. "Irresponsible? You would know a thing or two about that, wouldn't you?" After all, Keiko remembered the events preceding Ecruteak City just as vividly as he did. She could remember how dismissive he'd been of her needs. She could remember the terrifying feeling of her instincts going out of control and her rationality slowly slipping away. She remembered his refusal to Tame her and just what the consequences would have been if she hadn't taken charge.
And she had decided to generously forgive him. She'd let it go once he'd stopped being a pussy about it and done his duty properly. Despite their rocky start she'd seen enough in him to be content with having him as a Tamer despite his inadequacies and had done nothing with the damning testimony she had on him… and yet he dared to spit on her efforts like this?
"Watch your tongue." Joseph warned. On the one hand, she liked him being more assertive in his position as Tamer. It was a step up to his wishy-washiness at the start. On the other hand, he had to have a lot of guts to tell her that.
"No. I say it how it is, darling." Her voice was as sweet as tooth decay. "You're being irresponsible and thinking with your dick. Are you that desperate to be with someone else? Or what, are you doing this just to fuck with me?"
"I don't have to explain myself to you."
"I'm your Alpha." So yes, out of anyone, she was the one he needed to explain himself to her. For all the progress he'd made, he was still so furiously backwards sometimes. Why couldn't he get it in his thick head that she was his Alpha, and that she should be the first and last person he consulted with on matters?
"This is out of scope. It won't interfere with my duties." He protested. "Me and Mia already meet up alone as friends anyway. Being a bit… closer, won't change anything. It just changes how we use our time together. We're both committed to our duties first."
"You're cucking me." Keiko hissed. "For her. Of all people. It's irresponsible and you're neglecting your duty as a Tamer by ignoring your Alpha like this."
He frowned. "You wouldn't be putting up a fuss if I brought home a new Pokegirl instead."
"That would be different." and it would. It would be someone she had power over as an Alpha. It would be someone she could police and manage and undercut, unlike Mia who was out of her reach and above her on the social pyramid too. "I just can't believe you would be so selfish. Isn't my love enough for you?"
And then, something shifted in Joseph's expression. Something broke - the straw that broke the Camerupts back. Keiko didn't know just what it was she said that set him off or why. All she knew was that perhaps she'd gone too far. Perhaps she'd made a very serious blunder in this conversation.
"Selfish? Selfish? Selfish?" He repeated, as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You have the audacity to tell me that?"
"Yes. I do." Keiko wouldn't back down. Couldn't back down. Joseph was putting his own selfish wants over her own needs. He was being selfish.
"Now that is a good joke." Joseph got to his feet to look down on her, his scowl carved into his face like scars upon stone. In the cramped confines of their small cabin Keiko couldn't help but notice just how physically different his presence was now to even a month ago. For once, she felt small. "After all, you've been a selfish bitch from the moment I met you."
"How dare you-"
"Shut. Up." Joseph cut her off. And despite herself, Keiko found her mouth shutting. Joseph… was pissed. Not annoyed or angry - he was far beyond that. He was livid. It was clear from the clench of his fists, the tightness of his face and that look in his eyes. Keiko wasn't sure she'd ever seen him lose control of his emotions so drastically.
Keiko found herself speechless.
"You have no right to chat shit to me considering all the bullshit you've done! I mean, where the hell do I even start with you?" He looked at her like she was something disgusting he'd found spread across the sole of his shoe. "From the very start, you've been two faced and manipulative. I acquired you because I wanted someone who wouldn't fuck with the group dynamic and was a decent fighter. I told you from the start what I wanted and you put on that giggly, cheerful bimbo persona and acted like you could do that… then the moment the contract was signed you immediately looked for the first chance to become Alpha… and then screwed over Sophie as soon as you physically could. You right now… cold and angry and hateful. That's you all over."
"It wasn't like that at all!" That's just how it goes in harems. Those are the laws of the jungle. The Alpha has to be the strongest, the most dominant. The Alpha has to fend off all challengers to the throne. The Alpha is closest to the Tamer, and if they aren't strong enough to hold onto the title, then they deserve whatever they get. Those are the rules.
"Yes, it really was. Let's not beat around the bush. You couldn't even wait a single day to pick a fight with Sophie for the title."
Keiko was getting sick and tired of his shit. "She was weak!"
"That was no excuse!" He snapped back. "It was never an excuse! The last thing I needed was drama like that, but it didn't fit your stupid little 'hashtag perfect Pokegirl lifestyle' to play second fiddle to her. You wanted to be the top bitch, so she had to go. Everything leads back to that stupid thing."
The FIre type had to rise to her feet at that. She couldn't just take that sitting down. "My dreams aren't stupid!"
"They are when they're at the expense of everyone else around you!" Joseph's voice only seemed to get louder and angrier as their argument continued; likewise, her own voice rose to match. This wasn't a disagreement - by now this was a full blown screaming match. "Because you only think of yourself!"
"Pot, meet fucking kettle! That's rich coming from you! You don't know what the hell you're talking about!" She did care. After all, Keiko cared about Joseph. Of course she did - he was her Tamer, despite everything. The man who would someday be the father to her children - and who would also give her more children from other Pokegirls to raise and shape too. And while she was admittedly quick to snatch the title of Alpha, that was only because she knew she was best suited for the role. She cared about her responsibilities. Despite her loathing of Sophie, she worked hard to get that girl into proper shape for the last two Gym Battles, and she took her responsibility for looking after Amora very seriously.
"No, Keiko. I know exactly how much you care about me and what I want." His expression hardened and his resolve hardened. Clearly and precisely, he spoke his next set of words so perfectly that she could never misinterpret them. "I remember, Keiko. I remember that night in the tent on the way to Ecruteak. I remember when you raped me."
The unspoken incident both sides refused to acknowledge after the siege of Ecruteak. The single worst point in their entire relationship. The event that almost broke the entire party forevermore. A constant damocles sword hanging over their every interaction ever since then. An unacknowledged Titanic of a conversation topic not breached since Joseph's initial apology to Keiko after the siege.
For Joseph to bring it up was to acknowledge his worst deed as a Tamer - Keiko knew he would never bring it up normally. And she refused to bring it up as it was all in the past and not worth dwelling on now that it was all resolved.
And Joseph had just played that unspeakable option. One that he couldn't take back.
"I know too, Joseph." Now Keiko was just as quiet and cold as he was. Their faces were barely two feet apart from each other - enough for them to look each other dead in the eyes. "I remember it too. I remember you refusing to fuck me. I remember you almost driving me insane, just like poor little Sophie almost went. I remember doing what I needed to do to survive, and doing it as kindly as I could. I remember giving you the best damn night of your life."
Keiko remembered it - the sheer panic driving her. She remembered snatching hers and Sophie's Pokeballs while he wasn't watching to prevent him from stopping her. She remembered the sudden crystal insight she had after a wild Scyther almost got him - the realisation that clearly traditional seduction wouldn't work, and that she needed to be the one to take the first step.
Keiko remembered victory. She remembered Joseph giving in and enjoying it despite his initial discomfort. She remembered the threats she had to give him to make sure that she never had to face that existential terror of losing herself again.
"I know it was necessary, idiot." Joseph admitted, voice bitter. "I can't blame you for that incident. It was fucked up, and it took a lot of build up to become as bad as it did. And I know how I played a part."
"Played a-" Keiko scoffed, unable to even finish that comical sentence before she rushed further along. "Bitch please. Played a part. YOU caused that mess. Not me."
"Fuck you, you heartless bitch!"" There were tears in the corner of his eyes. Whether these were tears of sadness or sheer rage was completely unknown. " I played a part, but it wasn't all my fault. I didn't know what the hell I was doing!"
"You were a Tamer! You knew exactly what you were doing!"
"I wasn't qualified for the role!" Joseph snarled, dropping a sudden truth bomb. "I grew up somewhere without Pokegirls, Keiko. I didn't know the first thing about doing the role properly when I got you and Sophie. I only became a Tamer out of desperation! Because I was stuck in a foreign country with no friends, family, funds or paperwork to my name, and being a Tamer was the only quick way to avoid finding myself out on the streets with nothing! It was terrifying Keiko! I was so unprepared for being a Tamer that it's a miracle it took that long for things to go wrong!"
"Oh." Keiko didn't know what to say to that. After a confession like that, a lot of the anger was just swept right out of her. She hadn't known that - she hadn't ever actually considered just what Joseph had done prior to becoming a Tamer. Nor had she questioned just why he'd been so incompetent in the first place. That argument he gave seemed like it had a few holes… but it was an answer. And based on his emotional response, it was an answer that still hit close to harm. "So if you know you were incompetent… then what the hell is your problem?"
"I can't disagree with what you did or why… but I sure can about the method and what happened after." And like that, the quiet more subdued atmosphere was gone, once more replaced with the abject hostility that came before. "That rape was the worst thing that ever happened to me. Ever. Including the 'losing my whole family and getting stuck in Johto' thing. You took away my choice in the matter and have basically ruined sex for me. I literally can't stop thinking about that night whenever I have to do my duty and I hate it. And this all happened because nobody just sat me down and flat out said 'if you don't sleep with me, I will literally go crazy'."
"That's on you. Not me." Keiko argued, because she had to. Because she wasn't in the wrong. Because it was all his fault and he should stop blaming her, the victim.
"It's on both of us!" he bounced back. "You hurt me. A lot. Hell, it still hurts. And as I said, as horrible as the event was, I can't blame you too much for it. But afterwards? You blackmailed me. You made me feel helpless. You dominated our relationship and forced me to bend to your will and give up all the power I did have if I wanted any chance of the shame of that night staying hidden. Then you lied to Sophie about what even happened to make it sound voluntary and traumatised me so much that without outside prompting I never would have slept with Sophie flat out, and that lie almost shattered what remained of me and Sophie's bond. I was the main factor, but you sure helped her go Feral too."
"You take that back." Keiko would never step back and let another fellow Pokegirl go Feral deliberately. Never. It was a horrible fate to be condemned to - and she wouldn't wish it on her worst enemy.
"I refuse. Because it's true. Because if you really cared about Sophie going Feral then when you blackmailed me after the rape then the first condition you would have made would have been for me to sleep with Sophie too, even if you had to force me again to go through with it personally." It was a twisted kind of logic, but it wasn't necessarily wrong. Keiko had acted to deal with her own looming Feral problem… but she did nothing to help Sophie's situation even once Joseph had explicitly said he wasn't going to do anything.
With looming horror, Keiko realised he was right. All she'd done was call him a piece of shit for refusing to do it with her and carried on with her day. Despite knowing his intentions, despite her 'duty' to Sophie, she'd done nothing.
"I… I was… desperate! Out of my mind! Exhausted! I just wanted to be safe! It wasn't selfish! Stop it! You're horrible! Stop making out that I'm the villain in this!"
"And you still don't get it, do you!? You still don't see any of it? It's not just one of us. We both fucked up. We both messed up. We both refused to communicate. I fucked up bad, Keiko. I fucked up real bad. But I acknowledged my fuck up. I did everything possible to make up for it. I studied up on being a Tamer and embraced the lifestyle I loathed for the sake of my Pokegirls, I slept with you every week on the dot no matter how much I hated doing it with you, I accepted you as my Alpha let you assume the full responsibilities of the title despite how little I trusted you, hell - I took you out on date nights of all the fucking things. And I apologised. Do you know how hard it was to sincerely apologise to the woman that raped me? How… demeaning it was? How dirty it made me feel doing it? Do you even care at all?"
Keiko felt sick. Was this really what her Tamer thought of her every time they were together? Had her attitude really put him off this much? Was he really so weak that a little thing like that still bothered him?
"All I see is a lot of excuses. I don't get what your point is."
He threw his hands up in the air and threw himself onto the bed. "Oh for fucks sake!? And you still can't see it? Do I have to spell it out for you? I might be the villain here… but so are you too. You RAPED me. No matter the circumstances, that was a shitty thing to do! Then you took advantage of the situation as some kind of sick power play! And as much as you protest, you definitely didn't take Sophie's well being into account despite all the 'umming' and 'ahhhing' you make about being Alpha. And most of all.. You… you…"
"I what? What did I do that's oh so unforgivable, even beyond all this shit you just listed?"
"You… couldn't even give me an apology of your own. In Ecruteak." he elaborated. She could vaguely still remember that. She'd been brought out of her ball following the events on the wall, and they'd talked about things. "I fucked up and I apologised. I told you I wanted to make amends and apologised, but also told you that you weren't in the right either. And what did you do? Just how did you reply to that? Did you apologise for raping me? Did you say you were also sorry for needing to do so, or show any sign of regret? No. You didn't. To paraphrase, all you said was that you were happy I was showing some more spine and that you were definitely going to win my heart. And once again it all circles back to you."
Suddenly, Keiko realised that Joseph's main gripe with her wasn't actually that silly sex hangup of his (though it did seem like a big deal to him still)… but rather that she had never actually apologised? He had wanted her to say sorry? That was it?
Joseph's expression only became more tired and frustrated, as he picked up a nearby pillow and pressed his face deep into it so he could scream his throat out. "Fuck me, I don't even know why the fuck I'm telling you this! It isn't going to change anything, is it? Because you won't ever change Keiko. You can't change. You're just a selfish bitch who only wants what makes you happy, to hell with everyone else."
"That isn't true. You're just too short sighted to see how much I care about you. I love you idiot." Keiko wouldn't still be here if she didn't believe they could make this work (at least, up until this argument anyway). She wouldn't put up with Sophie if there wasn't any affection here. It would be humiliating, but all it would take would be a call to her father and an expensive buy out and she could be free. That didn't even take into account how quickly she could resolve things with a very incriminating League call.
Why couldn't Joseph see that she had a place for him in her future? That they could have a happily ever after together if he just stopped being so stubborn?
"You love me, huh?"
"Yes."
"Then answer me this. What… is my favourite colour?"
The odd question caught her off guard. She was completely flatfooted. "I'm sorry… what?"
"You heard me. What is it?"
This… felt like a trick question. But she could answer it. She'd seen his choice of clothing when given an option. "Blue."
"The food type I like most?"
"Atlo Marian."
"A hobby?"
"Reading."
"Great!" Joseph offered her a slow sarcastic clap. "You know a few basic facts about me. How's something a little trickier? Now, riddle me this, Keiko… what the hell is my mum called?"
Blink. His mother? What did that have to do with anything?
"No?" She couldn't answer him - she had nothing. "Never mind. Well then, what did I used to do for a living before I came to Johto?" Silence - Keiko wracked her brain. She had to know this - how could she not? "Let's try again. What's my dream career? What's my favourite book and why? Do I have siblings? How many kids do I want?"
"Now how the hell am I meant to know any of those!?" Keiko shouted. "You've never mentioned any of them, have you!? I couldn't possibly answer them."
"Nope." Joseph cheerfully said. "Because not once have you ever asked me about anything important. You've never asked me what I want for the future. You've never asked me where I see things in five years time. You never inquired about my past. For all that you preach about caring, it was only ever superficial. I'm an object to your eyes. A nice, Tamer shaped figure to slot into whatever you want out of life. But that's not me. And you've never seen me. Not really. Not once."
His words were like a slap in the face to her. Primarily because for once she didn't have a reply. She didn't know how to reply to that. Because she couldn't actually refute it. She didn't know any of this. She hadn't asked.
Her Tamer threw his arms out wide, all encompassing. "And aaaaaalll that there is the shit I've been wanting to tell you for awhile. I didn't say it because I didn't want to rock the boat, because it couldn't only make things worse. But fuck it. You don't get to take the high ground with me. Not with this. I'm not going to sit here and let you hurt me for drawing my line in the sand and sticking to it. I… am done. I just don't care any more, Keiko."
Keiko… felt weak. Keiko felt like she was fighting, and losing. She hadn't expected any of what Joseph had said and sure as hell didn't like any of it. But one thing Keiko knew was how to keep fighting. And she couldn't let herself get distracted. She was here for one reason - and if she could fulfil that one objective… at least then she would be able to claim some kind of win out of this clusterfuck.
"Maybe you're right and I haven't been taking our relationship as seriously. But returning to the original point, as your Alpha, I must still protest the situation with Mia. You say it won't get in the way but you can't guarantee it." Keiko might have fucked up her chances with Joseph beyond repair, but she could still smother this new thing with Mia in the crib before it could become something worse.
Joseph smiled at her. "Oh yes. As My Alpha you can advise me on matters pertaining to my harem. You have the right to manage them as you see fit, and I should absolutely listen to you. But guess what? The system is stacked in my favour. I should listen… but I don't actually have to take your advice. You wanted to be my Alpha, so congratulations. You are. You have all the responsibility and power you want. But you'll still always be second fiddle to me. I don't have to do jack shit regarding what you think. So you know what? I've listened… and I'm ignoring you completely. Okay?"
"You really are a stubborn asshole." Keiko grumbled. "So you're just going to ignore me now?"
"Might as well." He shrugged. "Maybe I should just stop pretending that things between us are anything remotely normal."
"Fine. You won't change your mind. Fine." She didn't like it, but she could acknowledge when she'd absolutely lost the round. But the game… she desperately hoped that wasn't over. "Just… tell me this. Do I have no chance with you now? Are you really so sickened by me that you won't even try to love me?"
"Love has nothing to do with this. The fact that you still don't understand only proves my point." He sighed. "Frankly, Keiko, I'm tired. Of pretending. Of you pretending everything is even the slightest bit okay between us when it isn't. I'm tired of all this bullshit. You're a two faced bitch that is always trying to manipulate me. Anything romantic between us just feels… unhealthy. You're so self-centred that you still can't see any of this from my point of view, and even trying to make you understand feels like a lesson in futility. TLDR. I could never love someone so deceptive, someone so selfish, someone so… unremorseful."
"Never?"
"Never never."
Keiko dreamed of a perfect family unit, much like the one she grew up in. Where she was the Matriarch and Alpha of a moderately sized harem. Where she had a wonderful, loving husband who doted on her above all others, and whom she would in turn support through all endeavours. He'd have battling experience (but would have obviously retired once the first children started to grow up). The other girls would respect her, and for once she'd be the strongest and most beautiful. And there would be a dozen tiny feet running about the house, causing trouble underfoot. And amongst those girls would be a pretty young redhead just like her, whom she could teach just as the Matriarch once taught her.
It was a wonderfully idyllic dream; a dream that she had been working towards ever since she went through Threshold.
And that dream had just been thoroughly crushed before her eyes.
Keiko reached up and found her eyes damp. She wasn't going to cry (she hadn't cried, not since she was a child. Crying gets you nothing). She refused to. She wasn't lost until she acknowledged it.
"Fine. Tamer mine, I'll be leaving now. Is there anything else?" She tried to inject some fire back into her voice - she failed.
"Nope." he waved her away. "Go knock yourself out. Maybe literally."
Keiko stormed towards the door, feeling a bit of her signature fire return with her anger. At the threshold she turned around and stopped. She saw him - her Tamer. Lying with his face buried in his pillow and looking like he wanted a good cry just as much as she did.
"I'm sorry." the words slipped out. For what, she still wasn't sure. But he said he'd wanted those words. So maybe they would help.
"It's a little too late for that." Joseph muttered. " And while you might be sorry, you're more sorry that your actions have had consequences rather than anything else. You're sorry that you couldn't scheme a way out of this… not sorry about any of the shit you've done. And that's why I don't like you."
Keiko turned around without another word and slammed the door behind her.
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The Vulpix was torn between two conflicting feelings: a cool melancholy and a fiery anger. She didn't know what to do with herself, or just what she should be feeling. Instead, she found herself wordlessly roaming the halls of the ship, thoughts lingering on that claustrophobic cabin she'd just left.
She couldn't help but go over that argument again and again in her head, feeling her anger and sadness renew with every recollection of lines crossed and words that couldn't be taken back.
She'd been taught to burn bright and passionately, and learned to coldly analyse the situation on the fly. But all she wanted now was to understand.
Just where did everything go wrong? How did it get this bad? Why the hell was Joseph treating her like this?
(... and did she perhaps earn any of this?)
With time, Keiko knew she'd calm down and level out. She would probably go over the conversation with a more level head and figure out where she went wrong and how to improve things. With a restful sleep and a mug of coffee, she would be back to normal - aiming for the top.
(or at least she hoped she would be)
But until then, she wanted to irrationally simmer in her own anger - to keep that feeling close to her chest so she wouldn't let it fade (because sympathising with Joseph meant he was winning - which meant she was losing, and she couldn't acknowledge that). Because sometimes you just want to kick and scream at the world and its unfairness.
And sometimes all you need is an acceptable target.
"Hello, Sweater Chest." Keiko smiled with a fanged, sickly smile. Because there she was. Sophie, sitting on the deck with a book of some kind, swathed in one of her customary sweaters and a scarf to deal with the cool sea breeze. She had the deck mostly to herself at this point in time, and with the fading daylight she seemed to be straining her eyes and would need to vacate the space soon much like everyone else had. She looked up from her book and there was a knowing look in her eyes - something Keiko felt distinctly smug and defiant. Then, she put her book down to one side.
"Hello Alpha. You're looking well. Nice weather we're having. Etc. Etc. Etc."
"Cut the crap." Keiko growled. She knew she looked shit - and she knew Sophie knew that. And suddenly she knew something else. That glint in her eyes… Sophie knew about Mia. Of course she did! She'd been just as awkward as Joseph had been that last day on the beach, and if Joseph were to confide in any of his Pokegirls his intentions, then it would be her.
… It would be her.
It was her.
She knew this was going to happen. She let this go ahead. She could have stopped this. Things only went so wrong because they had this argument. If Joseph had been talked down, none of this would have happened.
It wasn't her own fault that she was in this mess. It was Sophie's.
Keiko saw red.
"It was you, you bitch, wasn't it?" Keiko was in her face in seconds, looking down on her from above, close enough to strike if she so chose.
The Furret tilted her head to the side and looked her dead in the eyes. There was a tremble in her arms and neck, but she refused to blink or back down. "I don't know what you mean."
"Don't play fucking coy! Are you still so butt hurt that you lost the Alpha position to me that you set this whole mess up with Mia just to fuck me over? How dare you!"
And then Keiko heard something else that shattered what little composure she still had. Laughter. Sophie was laughing. To her face. "I set this up? Of course I didn't, you idiot. Sure, I knew about Mia. Joseph saw me first about it, of course he did, and I gave him my blessing. But I didn't plan it and would have honestly preferred it never happened in the first place."
"Of course you set it up! We've been rivals from the beginning!"
Now, the Furret rose to her feet and pushed back. Keiko was forced to take a step back from physics alone. "Rivals? We're rivals because you made us that way. I didn't start this, Keiko. I never wanted to fight you… you just decided that on your own. Same with the stupid Alpha position. I don't really care about the title. I only had it by virtue of being first. If you'd just talked to me honestly about it when you first joined, I probably would have just given it to you. I admit that you're more qualified for it than me. But it doesn't matter because I don't need to be the Alpha for Joseph to like me more."
"Oh, you bitch!" Keiko lashed out and grabbed her rival's hair with one hand, pulling sharply. It would be so easy to lose control, to let flames burst from her fingers, to let Sophie's hair set ablaze.
… but that would be wrong. And if she burnt Sophie like this, then she would actually be unworthy of the position of Alpha. Because despite everything, an Alpha is meant to protect the harem. To lead them and discipline them, yes, but also to give them a voice and represent their interests to their shared Tamer. An Alpha should be above it all. And an Alpha should have never let things get this bad.
Keiko softly released Sophie and took a step back. "I'm sorry. I went too far there."
The brunette's hands quickly went to her head, checking for damage. "That hurt, you know. I can't say I'm surprised you went straight for the throat. Very in character."
"Fucking hell, you make it really hard sometimes." Keiko hissed. At the end of the day, Sophie and Keiko just did not get along, and probably never would. Ignoring all their history and baggage, Keiko just found the other girl incredibly grating and smug. Always acting like her shit didn't smell; in front of their Tamer, she was always 'smiles and niceties', but between the two of them… that's when her more passive aggressive side came out. She was better than Sophie in every way that mattered, so where the hell did she get off thinking she could act out so much?
Keiko bit back the catty retort she really wanted to spit out, instead opting to take the higher road. "Fine. Yes, I shouldn't have done that. I'm pissed off. Obviously. So… sorry. There, okay?" And Keiko suddenly realised this was the third time she'd said sorry today… and twice it had been to 'Sweater Chest' of all people.
Sophie, for a second, looked like she wanted to slap away the tentative hand offered to her. But finally, she sighed. Resigned more than anything. "Okay. Accepted. We can move along."
"FInally." Keiko rolled her eyes. "Enough of this posturing then. The longer we talk, the more pissed off I'll probably be. So let's get to the point."
"Mia?" The Furret guessed - rightly so.
"Obviously." Keiko confirmed. "So… if you didn't plan the Mia thing, then what the hell's going on then?"
The Furret took a moment to assess the Vulpix, before eventually choosing to reply with very deliberate words. "No. I didn't plan anything. I could see it coming with hindsight, but I didn't do anything to push Joseph to it."
"But he still came to you first. You could have still stopped him."
"Yes." She nodded her head. "But I didn't."
Keiko scoffed. Now, things were starting to make sense. Her anger had been washed away the moment she decided not to burn her rival, so now she was back to a more level headed state. She could admit that such scheming was beyond Sophie (there was a good reason she lost her title so quickly in the first place to such basic power jockeying). Sophie was too weak to plan such a devastating attack.
She was also just too weak to do her duty as well. "Then that just makes you weak. What sort of woman, let alone Pokegirl, lets her man get stolen away like this? And not even to another Pokegirl, but to a freaking Tamer of all people!?"
DId Sophie have no self respect? Was she so pathetic and passive that she hadn't even put up a fight when Joseph told her his intentions of bedding outside their closed relationship?
Sophie shook her head sadly. There was a look of pity upon her face. Sophie was pitying her. "You really don't understand anything, do you, oh Alpha? I did it because I love him. Selfishly, I'd much rather Mia back the fuck off and actually give me a chance to pursue things with Joseph properly. It would have been easy to tell him not to; I was very tempted to smother those thoughts of his. But in the end, I didn't talk Joseph down. Because Mia truly makes him happy in a way I don't. Because if anyone can help fix him, then it's her."
"He isn't broken." Keiko replied insistently, though it sounded hollow even to her own ears.
"Yes, he is. And the main reason he is broken is you." Sophie pointed at her, advancing step by step and illustrating her words with a single poke each time, forcing Keiko to retreat. "Let's not fuck around with this. You lied to him. You manipulated him. You raped him. He was this close to giving up on being a Tamer. If it wasn't for that Ben guy sticking his nose in, then he would have broken there and then. For that, I'll always respect Ben, even if I can't personally stand him. Joseph should have thrown you to the fucking curb after what you did. He should have traded you away. Hell, I told him he should have got rid of you."
Rape. That word again. Joseph said it about her… and so did Sophie. To take against someone's will. She hadn't done that, had she? She'd just… applied pressure. She'd had to, for her own sake. And for his sake too - you can get arrested for not handling your Pokegirls needs. She'd seen his reluctance and merely given him a rather forceful and insistent push.
But did it really matter when that was the way he saw it?
"Then why wasn't I traded, huh, if what I did was so fucking bad!?" Keiko pushed back, and now she was on the offensive while Sophie was forced to retreat. "He would have brought it up sooner! Or punished me for it! Or something! If what I did was so goddamn terrible, why am I still here?"
"Because Joseph is an idiot who cares too much!" Sophie shouted. "Because he got it in his head after the siege that he needed to take his duty seriously even if he didn't want it in the first place. So he didn't bring it up specifically so an argument like the one you just had wouldn't occur. He wanted to do his Pokegirls justice - both me and you. Despite everything, he saw you as his responsibility, and handled your needs, even if he loathed it. Because that's the kind of guy he is. He values bonds and words and promises and duties. And I value him for those same things he holds dear, even if I'm not always on the same page."
Keiko could hear the unspoken words at the end of that. That's what he stood for, and that's where she was. So just what did she value?
"I do value Joseph." Keiko confessed. "He isn't what I expected in a Tamer. But I could do much worse. He is kind, isn't too bad on the eyes and does give me more freedom in my role as Alpha than most would. Even when he actively dislikes me, he does trust my word as an Alpha on Pokegirl matters and has followed my training itinerary to the letter. I saw how much effort he put in after the siege to better himself and his abilities as a Tamer. That's why I said nothing. Because despite that night, things were… improving. He actually put effort into being a better Tamer. I support him as best as I can."
"Hah!" Sophie laughed. "You? Support him? You support him when it's convenient. Otherwise you would have trusted him concerning Mia. If you truly cared about him, you'd have let him go. But based on your mood when I first saw you earlier on, I'm guessing not. So what did go down earlier? Hmmm? Just what kind of loving support did this Alpha offer her Tamer?"
Keiko couldn't answer. Because to do so would be to take responsibility for that argument getting as out of control as it had gotten. "It's not my fault." Keiko whispered. "I didn't want… this. It is NOT my fault. He shouldn't be looking outside for another lay. Not when he has us. And I do care about him. I just don't ask him much about his past because every time he brings anything up, he looks sad, and dwelling on the past never helps anyone. Just what the hell is his problem with me?"
From the get go, he'd never treated her as he should have been. The Tamer and Alpha bond she'd been told of so much in her childhood was non-existent between them. He'd never given her a fair shot once she took on the mantle. He'd always taken Sophie's side over her own. He never gave her any affection without prompting. He never reconciled when she offered attention and care.
She'd put effort in. She tried to be a good girlfriend - to cook and clean and pamper him. To warm his bed at night and make sure there was always passion in their relationship. She tried to support him in the ways he explicitly mentioned he needed help in: progressing through the Gym circuit and helping the team get stronger.
No matter the setbacks, she kept on trying to make their relationship work.
So why wouldn't he do the same?
"Sophie… why won't he love me?"
Sophie… looked away. No, she turned away. She couldn't look her in the eye and give a straight answer.
"No. No. No! You don't just get to… look away! Like it's not happening! Like I'm not a mess right now! It's not fair. Look at me Sophie! Look at me!"
And finally, the Furret did look back. Keiko just couldn't piece together what the other girl was thinking… but there was an equal amount of frustration, irritation and empathy in her features. "Do you really need me to spell it out for you? It's because you couldn't communicate with each other properly. Because you fucked things up really early on. Because the rape thing is a REALLY big fucking deal breaker for Joseph, even if you don't care much about it, and he can't just get over that overnight. Because he thinks you have absolutely zero remorse over how things went down. But most of all… it's because you keep making all of this about you."
"Then what the hell is this about then!?" That's what the two of them had both said. That she was selfish. That she was only thinking of herself. But that was a lie. Untrue. She did care about others. She did want this to work. She just… didn't understand.
Sophie threw her arms up in the air. "I can't believe I'm giving you of all people relationship tips… but it's about both of you. A relationship is always about both of you. You want to know why he doesn't like you? Then flip the chessboard over and see things from his perspective. Maybe then you can tell me why the hell he hates your guts so goddamn much."
XXXXXXXXXX
Considering how the day had featured two very emotionally vexing arguments with two of the three key people she had in her life right now, Keiko shouldn't have been surprised to find the third one also occurring.
The odd thing was that this wasn't an encounter she walked into like the others, but one who came to her instead.
"Hey Amora." Keiko greeted her with a small smile and wave. She was at a small table in the ship's miniature bar area (as off duty sailors and Tamers were always in eager need of alcohol), and was nursing a cocktail of some kind whose name she couldn't recall off the top of her head. She wasn't drunk… merely tipsy enough to take the edge off. "Here to chew me out too?"
Amora shook her head and took the other seat at the table. She was silent for a good five seconds before speaking - very in character of the careful girl. "From the sounds of it, I think you've had enough of that today."
She pushed a glass of water forwards she'd been carrying and Keiko followed the unspoken request. Amora didn't ask for much from her, so Keiko felt that in many ways she needed to provide the few times she did ask. And if Amora wanted this conversation with a slightly more sober Keiko, then so be it.
"Did our illustrious Tamer send you? Or that Sweater Chest?"
"No." And that was that. So she was here of her own volition.
"Then why are you here?"
Again, Amora selected her words like a soldier tentatively stepping through land mines. "Because I don't think you should be alone."
"Why? Because you think I'll do something dumb?"
"Because if I was upset like this, you'd do the same thing." Amora countered.
"Of course I would. Hell, Joseph would too." If there was one thing she and Joseph did actually agree on, it was on their treatment of Amora. Both of them were very aware of her fragile nature and abused origins, and both of them were equally adamant in doing right by her… albeit in different ways. She'd had a rough time with her last Tamer - and as her new Alpha she shared in the responsibility of ensuring she was happy and recovering. She couldn't complain that Joseph had ever slipped up on positively reinforcing her, that was for sure. He practically doted on her, sometimes.
"So that's why I'm here. Because I should be."
"Well, your presence is welcome, all the same." Keiko tried to give her a reassuring smile, but it definitely came out more tired and weary than she'd wanted. It really said something about her life that Amora was the girl in the harem she got along the best with - especially considering she shared many of the same traits with Sophie that she personally disliked the Normal type for. But Amora was just… different.
So for a time they just sat there in silence, listening to one man at the bar badly playing his guitar, while Keiko sobered up a bit. She kept trying to think of a topic to discuss, before falling silent after the first syllable left her lips. Today, she just didn't have anything to talk about.
She was just tired.
Finally, Keiko asked the burning question left in her mind after the last two talks of the day. "Amora… am I in the wrong? In all of this? You know what's been going on, right?"
She nodded. "Joseph told me before you about his new relationship with Mia. And when I asked later about you, he told me how your argument went, yes."
"So am I?" and that was the critical question. Had she really played as large a role in what had happened to get to this point? Her response was just common sense - surely any normal Pokegirl would agree that she was in the right… right?
SIlence - Amora didn't answer. Again, she was formatting her answer. Keiko knew her to do this all the time, even when they were alone together and in less formal, more friendly situations like this. It was just how Amora was now - she'd had caution burned into her early on, and even now it showed. She would never speak with haste - she would always try to form an answer that she knows won't be misconstrued.
"Love… is hard." Amora admitted.
"Love is hard?" Keiko was confused. What was that supposed to mean anyway? Of all the carefully worded answers Amora could have considered, just how had she thought this was the correct answer?
"Yeah. Love is hard." Amora repeated to herself.
"I don't understand where you are going with this." Admitted the Vulpix.
Amora looked her dead in the eyes. "Because I still love my first Tamer."
Her first Tamer? The abusive asshole who the League arrested? She still loved that asshole? Keiko was regretting sobering herself up.
"Why? I just… how!? After everything he did. After everything you told me he did. Surely you know it was wrong, don't you?"
Here, the Ampahros' smile became a little bit sad. "Of course I understand. Now that I'm away from him I know just how abnormally he treated me. I know how wrong it was. I… didn't deserve that. But I still love him. Do you understand?"
"No!" If it wasn't completely obvious, no, Keiko couldn't understand.
"He used to be my everything." She admitted. "I was caught with an Illegal Pokeball with a hacked learning program. They only gave me the bare minimum to function as non Feral - never enough to understand that their treatment was wrong. My first memory as an individual is his face. Every one of my firsts was with him. I had nobody else in the world. So how could I not come to love him, despite him hurting me the most? Because even though he hurt me, he never gave me out to another. Sexually. I was always his. And despite everything, sex was the one thing with him that I found enjoyable. Even if it hurt sometimes too, at least there was some pleasure there too. So yes, I loved him."
"That… may be the longest single thing I've ever heard you say." Now wasn't that sad? It was worth remembering that for all the improvements she'd made, Amora's past was very traumatic. She was still the most broken out of all of them, even if she tended to keep quietest about it most of the time. And based on what she'd just heard, she still had a long way to go. "Surely… you wouldn't ever return to him if he was ever released, right?"
"I don't know." Amora admitted, shame colouring her face. "I hated it, but I loved him. And things were so much simpler with him. I know I shouldn't. Objectively. But even the fact that I can't flat out reject him… it proves my point. Love is hard."
"Your fucked up past aside, I still don't understand how this answers the original question. I'm not wrong about Joseph, am I? It is out of line what he's doing. I haven't crossed a line, right?"
"Love is hard, and the heart wants what it wants… no matter how self destructive." A long pause. "Considering my past, can I really blame Joseph for what his heart wants? Mia seems to make him happy. And she definitely isn't like my old Master. So I should be happy for him, right?"
"That's not the point! By him being with Mia, that means he's neglecting us!"
The Electric type raised an eyebrow. "Does it though? They already spend a lot of time together as friends, and that was okay. So if in the time they would have spent together anyway, they wanted to do something more than talk… does it matter? If it doesn't stop him doing his duty, does it matter?"
"And what if things change, huh? What then? What if he forgets about us. What if-" what if he neglects them again? What if he gets so preoccupied by that Tamer that Keiko was forgotten? What if she went Feral? It was perhaps an irrational fear… but one with some degree of real risk.
"I don't think Joseph would do that." Amora slowly said. "He wouldn't forget me."
"And how do you know?"
"Because he's my Hot Choclate partner." Amora smiled a little bit, while Keiko was lost. What the hell did that even mean? "Sometimes I can't sleep. And sometimes he can't either. And when that happens, he makes Hot Chocolate. He doesn't ask about it. My nightmares. But he remembers that I don't like Marshmallows and that I like mine milkier than his. And he'll sit with me as long as I need, then when I'm ready he'll take me back to bed and won't complain if I cuddle."
Now that… sounded practically whoseome. "Why didn't you ever wake me up? I'm your Alpha. I'm meant to help you." Did this mean that Amora didn't like her? That she wasn't comfortable around her? Had she been mishandling the abused girl?
Amora shook her head and shrugged. "Dunno." No further answers than that.
"So… I am the only one." Keiko could finally make a conclusion. She'd heard from everyone but Mia herself on the topic (and if that bitch did show her face to her today, by god was she getting burned, proper behaviour or not). Even Amora was against her. She was the only one that seemed to have a massive problem with Mia and Joseph's new relationship. "Maybe I'm jealous. That Mia's gonna be getting all his attention, while I'm barely worth looking at."
"Shhh." Hushed Amora. Then, she did something very out of character. She reached out… and awkwardly gave her a quick little hug - maintaining contact despite how awkward it obviously made her feel. "Umm… I think Joseph would treat you the same, with or without Mia."
"Well, you aren't wrong. He'd probably still hate my guts." Keiko pulled herself away from the hug, immediately regretting it. "Sorry, but I think I need a walk. To clear my head."
Amora nodded her head in understanding, not protesting as Keiko made a quick dash to the exit.
Because she'd had enough of everyone else telling her their opinion. Now, she wanted to know what the most important person thought about this mess… herself. And a quiet walk was the best chance to figure out just that.
There were so many conflicting thoughts rolling about in her head. Joseph's blunt honesty shattered all chances of reconciliation, as a wound almost as old as their relationship was torn clean open. Sophie's exasperated resignation, somewhere between pity and annoyance over just how she'd missed something apparently so obvious. And Amora's softer yet still equally critical words.
No - that was wrong. At least, it wasn't so black and white. Perhaps that was the main takeaway here. Everyone else had their own reasons for why they did what they did. What was this argument like from their perspectives?
Amora hadn't necessarily said she was wrong. She'd merely refuted the arguments she'd made about him neglecting them (which even she could admit were a little weak with hindsight), and brought up how love was complicated, and that she didn't mind so long as Joseph didn't neglect her.
Meanwhile, Sophie hadn't necessarily been a complete bitch. Even if their relationship was strained (an under-exaggeration, if ever there was one), she had still given her some advice.
And Joseph… he was the hardest conversation to look back on. It had been painful. Dear lord, had it been painful. But Joseph hadn't gone into the talk wanting to break everything. He'd tried to be reasonable at the start, and only escalated… when she did. He'd at least tried to be professional (or at least, as professional as a Tamer cheating on his girls could be). All that later stuff was mostly just there due to the initial damn breaking.
He wasn't in the right. Definitely not.
But maybe… neither was she.
Either way, the status quo was irreversibly changed. She couldn't return to the way things had been only days prior. To even attempt would be the height of foolishness. Her dreams had undeniably been broken. Joseph has made it clear that the idyllic, perfect happily ever after she'd always wanted would never be hers… and that it was partly her own fault.
Suffice to say, she would have a lot to think about in the coming weeks to come.
The only question now was what she could salvage from this. "Fuck it. I… don't know what to do anymore."