Fallen in Love
"What are you doing here?" Lavender asked in a strange voice. Her face was tear-stained and a red welt became apparent on her left cheek. But her eyes were shining.
"That's what I'm asking you," Parvati replied.
She had overheard the little Slytherin telling Severus something about trouble on the pitch. Out of curiosity, she had followed him and Severus at some distance and had hardly believed her eyes when she suddenly saw Lavender clinging to his neck. "How did you arrange that?"
"Arrange?" cried Lavender indignantly. "Tell me, have you lost your marbles? Draco tore me off my broom and we almost died! And do you think I'm going to volunteer to have my face smashed?" New tears leaked from her eyes, and Parvati quickly took her in her arms. "Come on, let's go to the Hospital Wing first!"
Severus, meanwhile, was taking Draco and the rest of the Slytherins to task. "Come along!" he said curtly. "Move it! And it's over for you today, too!" he ordered, addressing Harry.
No one was told twice. They had all lost their desire to train. Parvati and Ron took Lavender into their midst—the girl was still shaking all over and could hardly walk on her own. Which is probably only partly due to Draco's attack, suspected Parvati, who didn't know what to think at all. If I were her, my knees would be weak, too!
While Snape drove his pack ahead of him at a fast pace, the Gryffindors around Lavender took a little longer to arrive at the castle. Parvati took Lavender alone to Madam Pomfrey, who patched her wound up, and then to their bathroom, where she run her friend a bubble bath with strawberry scent.
Sighing, Lavender let herself sink into the hot water. She didn't say anything for a while, just playing with the big pink foam flakes, lost in thought. Then she lifted her head and looked at Parvati. "He called me Lavender," she breathed.
"What?!" Parvati turned ice cold, from top to toe.
"Yeah, really," Lavender said happily. "And the way his voice sounded when he said it, so—" She rolled her eyes, obviously unable to think of a suitable expression. "And the way he held me, Parvati—like he liked to hold me! He had his hand on my … forehead … oh, absolutely mind-blowing!" Again she rolled her eyes and almost sank into the full tub in her delight.
"I guess it was worth biting the dust for that by one whisker," Parvati said, wishing her voice sounded less venomous.
"Well, so have we all—more or less," Lavender giggled. "I really did have all kinds of stuff in my mouth after that landing!" And then she began to tell, the whole story from the beginning. From the fight between Harry and Draco, then how Draco had suddenly dashed at her "just because I threw a ball to Ron!", the horrible seconds when she had thought it was all over now and how she had thrashed Draco afterwards.
"Draco is such an asshole!" exclaimed Parvati, trying to sound as upset as possible. "He really won't stop at anything!" But what's another human life, she thought to herself, given his attitude? "I hope he gets a hefty punishment!" she said, "though I doubt it with Severus. He should actually be expelled from school for this!"
Lavender raised an eyebrow. "With an influential father like that, no one gets expelled from school! I don't think even Dumbledore can do anything about that! Mind you, Severus looked really pissed earlier!"
Her eyes took on that rapt expression again, and then she described to Parvati in great detail how anxiously Severus had examined her, how he had looked at her as he did so, and how she had been allowed to cry in his arms. "And how he touched my cheek, so … and he called me Lavender!"
Parvati crouched on the toilet lid with her legs pulled up and listened to all this, becoming more and more silent. She felt so frozen by now that she could hardly feel her hands, but her chest ached as if someone had ripped open a zip inside.
She could hardly bring herself to go to dinner with Lavender later. A Severus Snape at the staff's table and a lovesick Lavender next to her was more than she could bear now. But fortunately Severus, as he often did, skipped dinner. Likewise, Lavender could hardly eat anything because of the excitement, but she wouldn't have got around to it anyway.
The afternoon on the Quidditch pitch was, of course, the number one topic at the Gryffindor table; Malfoy's attack on Lavender was described in the most dazzling colours for all those who had not yet heard, and then discussed in detail. All those sitting around listened raptly, pestering Lavender, Ron and Harry with questions and all talking wildly at the same time.
"Malfoy's gone completely mad!"
"What a scumbag!"
"I hope he gets kicked out!"
"So, Lavender, you really hugged Snape?"
"That was really cinematic!" exclaimed Ron, laughing. "She must have been in total shock!"
Lavender gave Parvati an amused look, whereupon she forced the corners of her mouth up in annoyance.
Dean Thomas, who was sitting next to her on the right, also addressed Parvati several times ("Wicked, isn't it?"), and she tried hard to say something halfway sensible each time. But she could hardly separate her teeth, let alone take a bite. Parvati, she kept reminding herself. Be glad that she is still alive!
But it didn't help. Everything hurt. And there was no one she could talk to about it.
Those who didn't say much either were Ginny and Hermione, the latter not missing the opportunity to take aim at Lavender: "What did Dumbledore say about that, anyway?"
Lavender only realised a moment later that she was meant and blushed. "Er … Dumbledore?" she said, caught off guard.
"Wait—you haven't been to see him yet?" asked Hermione, stunned. "Well, I'm sorry, Lavender, but if someone had almost killed me, the way you portrayed it—"
"So it was!", Ron interrupted her in a raised voice.
Hermione brushed him with a withering look and continued talking, "… then I wouldn't just sit idly by and wait for him to attack the next one! Or do you think, Snape has taken care of the matter?"
Lavender shifted uneasily in her chair and finally shot back. "Oh, when did you start talking to me again?"
"That doesn't matter now," Hermione waved it off impatiently. "After all, this isn't just about you!"
"Just leave her alone, will you? It's only been three hours!" said Ron, eyes flashing, and Hermione fired another of her killer glares at him. "Besides, I've already talked to Professor McGonagall, if you really want to know! Dumbledore is away on business until Wednesday, and we have an appointment with him in the evening!"
"Funny, and why didn't Lavenderbaby get that together herself?" snapped Hermione.
"Because maybe Lavender had to digest the shock first?" retorted Ron heatedly. "Besides, I'm the Prefect here! And it would have been just as much your duty to report it!"
"I wasn't even there!" exclaimed Hermione.
And again, the two of them were bickering in the old manner. But still, most of the others at the table looked questioningly at Lavender, who had a fine blush rising in her cheeks again. Parvati knew how much her friend hated blushing in front of everyone, almost as much as she detested being made out to be thoughtless and stupid in public. Of course, anyone else, including Parvati, would have run to the headmaster first thing to demand justice.
But Lavender obviously has her head full of nicer things, Parvati thought, and her heart contracted with bitterness. And anyone who saw the two of them on the pitch should actually understand why.
Immediately after dinner, she took a hot shower, then went to bed with a hot-water bottle and drew her curtains. And while Lavender was being pampered by the boys in the common room and Hermione was sulking in the library, Parvati curled up under her blanket and once again cried lonely tears into her pillow.
The next day was terrible for Parvati. Her stomach hurt and her legs felt like lead; Lavender was in love mania and permanently annoying, and Padma was, it seemed, permanently offended. She welcomed every school lesson and each other minute she didn't have to see either of them.
In the afternoon, despite her accident, Lavender set off for her Flying lesson undaunted, saying, "If you fall off your horse, you have to get right back on it!" and Parvati had the dormitory to herself for a bit to write in her diary. When she had finished, she flipped back a few pages to where she had noted, word for word, the conversation Severus and Draco had had in the dungeons the other day. He called me by my first name, too! she thought grimly. Even if only indirectly. Probably he just does that in extreme situations or when the person meant is absent, and it doesn't mean anything at all!
Again her eyes slid over the lines and her stomach tightened, as always, at the point where Severus had said, "Parvati Patil is a skilled sorceress and quick and smart as well. She can definitely hold a candle to you!"
Sighing, Parvati threw herself on her back and stared at the ceiling. And she was still doing that when Lavender came flying on her broom right through the open window in a good mood: "Yay, here I am again!"
She is so full of life, Parvati thought, feeling like a scrawny, withered plant next to her. No wonder he embraced her! And she even has a real hobby now! Quite unlike me …
"That's nice," she finally said, but Lavender had already turned away, looking for new clothes in the wardrobe, whistling, then disappeared into the bathroom. "Just come in!" she called from inside, but Parvati just stayed where she was. She didn't want to hear any more. For who knows, perhaps Severus had appeared on the pitch again …
After dinner, Parvati gave herself a huge kick and got changed for the Ravenclaw seminar. She really didn't feel like going at all, but today Padma was giving her talk. She hadn't emphatically invited Parvati, but if she didn't go, her sister would probably be offended until Halloween. And we can't do that, Parvati thought soberly. Otherwise we won't be able to celebrate our birthday in October.
Listlessly, she fixed her hair and put on her school uniform. She was punctually in the classroom for Ancient Runes. Padma didn't move a muscle of her face when she saw Parvati and immediately began her presentation: it was about the healer profession. Because Padma knew exactly what she wanted to be when she grew up, unlike her haphazard sister.
She doesn't even seem like a schoolgirl any more, Parvati thought, and that almost made her cry. Was she now envious of her sister because she was already so grown up? Or did she rather think it was a pity that she was not a little more like Lavender? Parvati hardly knew herself anymore.
Throughout the seminar, she felt extremely uncomfortable and looked at askance, quite different from a fortnight ago, when she had almost seemed to be part of the game. She just waited for the discussion, to which she forced herself to put two meaningless questions, then she slipped away with the usual excuse that she still had homework to do. Which was the last thing on her mind at the moment.
In the corridor, she really began to cry. She wiped her eyes with the tip of her robe, but new tears kept welling up and sobs were forming in her throat. It's just good that no one is on the move at this time of night, she thought.
It was forbidden to be outside one's house rooms after nine o'clock—a rule that Lavender in particular had broken quite often. She herself was usually reluctant to wander the dark corridors and, like most people, stayed dutifully in her common room; but today it was a place Parvati did not want to return to at all.
So she began to climb the moving stairs aimlessly until she finally found herself right at the top, on the seventh floor. People rarely strayed here, unless they had Astronomy or Divination, or wanted to go to the Room of Requirement. Even the caretaker Filch with his nasty cat tended to check the lower floors because there was more to catch there.
Parvati let herself slide down a wall, sobbing, and cried out all her sorrow. What is wrong with me? she asked herself for the hundredth time. I wanted to forget about him! I wanted to become sensible, take care of school and stop chasing such fantasies! Why won't this person let me go?
Angrily, she pounded her fist on the dusty floor. This is so ridiculous. I hear three reasonably nice sentences about me—but he may have only said them to annoy Draco!—and he's got me! Am I really that simple? Or am I perhaps also such a poor little wretch, so desperately in need of self-affirmation?
But Parvati knew it wasn't that. She had been attracted to Severus for years and had invested a lot of feelings in him, but only received nasty remarks and got upset about his unfair actions. And just when she wanted to forget him for good, something nicer came from him—at least indirectly. And he definitely looked at things in a more differentiated way than it looked on the outside. He was not blind to the Slytherins' faults, and not all Gryffindors were brazen and stupid in his eyes.
That changed everything. Really everything.
After a while, Parvati stood up and knocked the dust off her robe. She had calmed down a little, but she still didn't want to go back to her tower, where a squealing Lavender was surely already waiting for her. So she began to walk down the corridor, idly opening one door after another. Most of the rooms must have been used as classrooms in the past, now they served merely as junk rooms. Parvati was amazed at the number of covered furniture, chests and other bulky stuff that had survived the decades under a thick layer of dust.
In the room at the very end of the corridor, Parvati found something that was rather rare in magic schools: at the very back, half hidden by a massive wardrobe, stood a covered grand piano. Curious, she stepped closer and pulled at the thick cover. A layer of dust swirled up and Parvati sneezed violently. Disgusted, she wiped her left hand, which was suddenly full of spider webs, on her skirt. Then she folded back the lid over the keys, which were made of real ivory and, unlike the rest, were completely dust-free. I wonder who played the piano here, Parvati pondered. Actually, this is a typical Muggle instrument … and then such a good Steinway grand piano.
She pulled up a chair and sat down. Like her sister Padma, she had taken piano lessons among other things in the past, but no instrument had ever meant as much to her as the violin to Padma. It had helped her sister through the pain of separation back then, when the Hat had torn them apart, and she still played regularly. At Hogwarts, unfortunately, she had few opportunities to make music with others because hardly any of her classmates knew how to play an instrument. Yes, if we had known that there was a piano here …, Parvati thought. But even then I probably wouldn't have wanted to.
With Padma, there had only ever been quarrels over playing music. Music was her domain and Parvati had put up with it early on. But now her fingers suddenly itched and she began to plonk a melody by Chopin with her unpractised fingers. In doing so, she was surprised that she could remember the notes at all.
The piano was quite out of tune, but still Parvati felt comforted by its sound. There was something familiar about it, and memories from her childhood came to the surface, from a time when she had not even suspected that Hogwarts existed …
It was already late when Parvati climbed through the portrait hole and unexpectedly found Lavender in the common room—sitting over her homework. "You're still awake, too?" she asked, surprised.
"You're coming already, too?" returned Lavender. "Where have you been?"
"In the library," lied Parvati.
"Hah!" Lavender made. "Not possible! 'cause that's where I was!"
Parvati was embarrassed and silent. Murphy's Law, she could only think. Lavender has only seen the inside of the library twice since she's been here. But, of course, she goes in when I need it as an alibi …
"You've been with your great circle!", Lavender now told her to her face. "Why are you lying to me anyway! Was it at least great?"
"What do you want?" Parvati flared up. "Are you never happy? You set out to get closer to Severus and—you did it! Besides, you've got all the boys wrapped around your finger and you're never alone anyway, so what's so bad about me being away for a while?"
"Tell me," Lavender leaned forward curiously, "are you jealous?"
Parvati snorted. "Don't make a fool of yourself! Because of whom?"
"You just called him Severus," Lavender said softly. "You do mind, don't you?"
Parvati shook her head decisively. "I told you—"
"And I don't think it's that easy to completely give up on someone," Lavender interrupted her.
"But that's how it is, man! He's all yours!"
Lavender gave her a very doubtful look. She obviously didn't believe a word she said. "Then why did you react so strangely to me hugging him yesterday?" she wanted to know. "Since then you have been as mute as a fish! Someone who is happy with you looks different!"
Parvati's stomach tightened as she saw again the image of Severus holding Lavender and then touching her cheek with his finger. The look on his face! Oh man!
What am I going to say?" she groaned inwardly, but finally grabbed the first thing that came to her mind, "It was just the shock! Why should I be happy that Draco almost blew you to kingdom come?" Well, might sound a bit lame … will she buy it?
Lavender smiled and took Parvati's hand. "That's really sweet of you! But you don't have to be sad about it, you know … it's all fate anyway! This thing had to happen for me to get this close to him in the first place!"
Again everything in Parvati tensed up as Lavender looked at her urgently with her big eyes and then also asked, giggling softly, "Or should I maybe have hugged Severus in the middle of class?"
Did she also have that innocent look with him?, Parvati asked herself begrudgingly. With that she really tickles the protective instincts out of the most callous asshole. And once again she was struck by how perfectly the childlike features were pronounced in Lavender: large eyes, small chin, full cheeks, downy hairs at the hairline—everything the heart desired. But was that also true of Severus's?
"Parvati?" asked Lavender, squeezing her hand. "What do you think?"
"Hmm, fate …" Parvati mumbled and looked to the side. As always, she felt a little cramped when Lavender got so damn serious and even touched her in the process. "Well, at least nothing can go wrong then, eh?"
"Yes, it can," Lavender said in a soft voice. "If you also still have feelings for him—I will definitely keep away from him. With all the love … our friendship is more important to me!"
How noble, thought Parvati. Ever thought about how great our friendship would be if you had to give him up because of me?
She forced herself to look Lavender in the eye as she replied in a firm voice, "Snape is history to me, how many times do I have to say it! You have nothing to worry about!"
Lavender tilted her head doubtfully. "But if it's not that, what's going on with you all this time? Is it because of Padma?"
"Nonsense! What about Padma?" Parvati snapped and snatched her hand from Lavender's. Then she turned away abruptly, tears welling up in her eyes. That's what she's been waiting years for, me talking bad about my sister, she thought grimly.
Lavender put a hand on her shoulder, which Parvati immediately shook off unwillingly. "We can talk about anything—can't we?" she said hesitantly.
What can I tell you?" Parvati thought bitterly as she blinked away her tears. That I think about Severus all the time? That I miss Padma? Or that I found a piano on the seventh floor?
"Yes," Parvati sighed reluctantly and slowly turned to Lavender. "I'm just terribly tired, maybe we can just talk more tomorrow, okay?"
"Or is it someone else?" continued Lavender, as if the last sentence hadn't even existed. "Is it perhaps—Harry?"
"Harry?" Parvati stared open-mouthed at her friend and even forgot for a moment that she was about to cry.
"Well?" rejoiced Lavender. "Bull's-eye?"
"What makes you think of him?" asked Parvati, puzzled.
"Merlin, the note!" Lavender reminded her impatiently.
"The note?" repeated Parvati, but then she paused. Why not letting Lavender think what she wanted; the main thing was that it distracted her from the complicated truth and she finally had her peace! And no matter how much her friend babbled, she could keep silent as a grave if she was asked to.
"Yeah, right … the note," she said drawling, and Lavender jumped up squealing. "My God, how sweeeet!" she exclaimed, hugging Parvati. "That's why you've been so weird the last few days and hardly eat anything! My little rational friend has fallen in love!"
"Could you shout any louder?" hissed Parvati, wriggling out of Lavender's grip. "Let's keep this between us, shall we? Because I don't intend to start any kind of action now!"
"That's right, you want to wait," Lavender murmured sympathetically. "But don't wait too long or he'll soon be taken! I think Ginny's really crazy about him!"
"She's not my cup of tea anyway," Parvati muttered, and Lavender clapped her hands excitedly. "By the way, Libra and Leo match just perfectly," she then pointed out. "And you have the same ascendant!"
The very next day, Parvati regretted her lie. Whenever Harry came on the scene, Lavender could hardly get her big grin off her face and behaved so conspicuously that one could think she was in love with Harry. When they entered the classroom for Divination, she let Parvati go first so that she could sit next to Harry.
Oh God, thought Parvati. What have I done? And why doesn't Lavender realise that I don't give a damn about Harry? Because I suck at acting …
Lavender, however, was far too preoccupied with herself to pay particular attention to any inconsistencies in Parvati's account of things. She was on cloud nine. She had lain against his chest, she had even felt his heart—could a person in this world be any happier than she was?
So she floated light-footed through the days and loved everything around her, her friends, all her teachers, the trees, which were already starting to get colourful leaves; yes, even Draco, who had almost killed her the other day, and who made no effort to apologise to her for it, suddenly seemed like a beautiful angel in her eyes, with his silver-blond sleek hair and light grey eyes.
When she saw Severus again for the first time in Potions on Wednesday, the sight of him struck her and she had to control herself not to smile at him. She sat dutifully in her new seat next to the blackboard, and his gaze briefly brushed her, as it did all the others. In the first lesson they did theory, in the second they worked briefly on their potion. Only a sample was taken to determine the quality, the potion itself was to incubate in darkness until the next full moon.
Lavender once again put up a brave fight—too brave. Severus never once came over to hiss snide remarks over her shoulder. And when she, blushed with excitement, gave a few correct answers about the theory, he merely nodded without looking at her.
Strangely enough, this did not dampen her good mood. "It would be pretty conspicuous if he behaved differently," she whispered to Parvati as she hopped along beside her friend to the Great Hall. "Besides, it's quite positive that he doesn't want to nag me anymore!"
"Well, apparently there was nothing to complain about," Parvati said apathetically, and Lavender's heart contracted with pity. Her poor friend didn't seem to know how to deal with her feelings for Harry. But if I were her, I'd dress myself up a bit more, Lavender thought in wonder. She's been walking around in black for a week … and her hair used to look neater either.
At lunch, she directed Parvati most discreetly to the seat next to Harry, even accepting having to sit directly opposite Hermione.
"So tomorrow evening at eight, as usual in the Room of Requirement?" she heard Harry murmur half aloud to Parvati, who nodded mechanically. It was about the meeting for Dumbledore's Army, which was to take place on a small scale for a start.
Well, she'd probably like to be alone with him there, Lavender thought with a smile. I wonder how he feels about her.
"Does that suit you?" whispered Ron across the table to his sister and Hermione. "And Hermione, will you bring the Galleons you made last year?"
Ginny and Hermione glanced at each other and grinned sourly. "If I can find them again …" she said in a drawled voice. That could mean anything, but for the boys it settled the matter.
"It's about time we started again, as long as fools like Malfoy are on the loose," Ron remarked as he shovelled another portion of fried potatoes onto his plate.
"He's a real menace," Seamus nodded.
"By the way, the appointment with Dumbledore is also at eight. But today," Ron abruptly informed Lavender.
"Dumble—oh, sure. At eight," Lavender quickly confirmed, having already completely forgotten about the upcoming conversation with the headmaster.
"It doesn't seem particular important to you," Hermione sneered, but it was Ron who received her flaming angry glare. He just glared back wordlessly.
What is the matter with them?, Lavender asked herself. Parvati is right, they really do fight all the time. I wonder if he has feelings for her too. That would mean that he is only playing with me …
"You're no better," Parvati said bluntly when she expressed this fear to her later in the dormitory. "Wanting something from Snape and flirting with Ron! What do you expect to get out of it anyway?"
"Nothing," Lavender said. "I just think it's nice with him. What's the problem?"
"That Hermione, for example, no longer speaks a word to you! It cannot go on like that!"
Lavender grinned mirthlessly. "Yes she does, she talks to me! And that's to make me feel bad whenever she gets the chance, like she did earlier at dinner! Speaking of—" she looked at Parvati pleadingly. "You're not going to let me go to Dumbledore alone …"
"Why, Ron's coming with you! It's gonna be nice!" said Parvati cuttingly.
"Oh, come on!" begged Lavender. "I just feel safer with you around!"
Parvati rolled her eyes. "All right. Don't have anything better to do anyway …"
So, at eight o'clock sharp, the friends arrived at the door to Dumbledore's office in their school uniforms, their hair tied back in neat ponytails, where they immediately encountered the first obstacle.
"Password?" asked the gargoyle who stood guard at the entrance to the office.
"Um … password?" said Parvati, scratching her head. "I don't know. How do we actually get in now?" she asked her friend, perplexed.
Lavender started to giggle. "I think we should have taken Hermione with us! It's just not important enough to us, right?"
"Ron will certainly know it," Parvati surmised, stepping uneasily from one foot to the other.
"That's right," Lavender said, breathing a sigh of relief, and pulled her skirt into place, which seemed too short again today. Had other parts of her body besides her breasts perhaps grown during the holidays? At least she had thought of a decent pair of tights, but still, after a while, she asked Parvati to magically lengthen her skirt.
Then a few minutes passed again, during which nothing happened, and the girls slowly became nervous. "Where is he?" wondered Parvati.
"Oh, he's always late," Lavender replied. "You know that."
"Maybe Dumbledore will come and get us in a minute," Parvati said, and both girls looked alternately at the door and down the corridor.
Finally they heard the sound of approaching footsteps from inside, and the girls involuntarily tightened. The door opened—and Severus Snape stood opposite them.