Disclaimer: not mine!
Older
Trigger warning: this fiction contains a depressive episode, eating disorder, body-shaming and teenagers being sexualized.
It's Friday morning and I'm having breakfast at Agasa Mansion. Ayumi just sent me three text messages in a row. Holidays will start soon and she wants to go shopping with me so we can choose our swimsuits together. I can't believe we're officially 13 now. Time flies.
Lamarr purrs and rubs herself at my ankles. I adopted her two years ago, when she was just a terrified stray kitten. Now she's grown quite beautiful and happy. I named her after Hedy Lamarr, one of my favorite inventors.
"Don't forget your lunch!" professor Agasa says.
He ruffles my hair. I nod and I take my school bag and my sandwich box. I cannot help glancing at the house next door when I leave. Six years ago, the Black Organisation fell and I managed to find the permanent antidote. Conan took it and went back to his real life. He was puzzled when I told him I didn't want to grow back into Shiho Miyano. What could I tell him? Miyano was a murderer and a mad scientist with no friends and no family. Haibara is an everyday girl with friends and a caring surrogate father. I guess I'm just happier as Haibara.
Shinichi promised that we would remain friends forever but one year passed and he moved to another city so he could go to a better college. Then he married Ran. Now she's pregnant with their first kid. We send wish cards to each other once a year now but we stopped talking and sending messages. I guess friendships don't last forever.
I pass two homeless men and I drop my lunch in front of them. Then I run to school. Ayumi is waiting for me.
"Ai!" she says happily. "You know what happened yesterday?"
"Someone was murdered?"
"Urumi Ishigara changed her status on social media. She's dating Rai Yama now!"
I'm not surprised, actually. He's been trying to ask her out for weeks. I shrug.
"It's Ok, I guess."
"That's so cute! I'm so looking forward to have a boyfriend, too!"
She never noticed that Genta and Mitsuhiko both have a huge crush on her and I never told her. Sooner or later, things will go very weird. I can't help having a pang in my heart. Soon Ayumi will date her first boyfriend and that's great but our friendship will be weakened. Maybe she will turn her back to me, like Shinichi did when things got serious between Ran and him. I don't want to lose another friend.
"Boyfriends are overrated," I say.
She stares at me.
"You don't want to date?!"
"I don't think a girl needs a boy to feel complete or valuable."
"That's so true! Wait, so you really don't want a boyfriend? Are you gay? Or aro?"
"Would you mind if I were?"
"No," she said, puzzled. "Nothing will ever break our friendship. I just prefer to know so I won't say things I may regret."
I'm 100% sure I'm straight but dating may be complicated for me. I know Mitsuhiko has a crush on both me and Ayumi and I hope he will grow out of it soon. Mitsu is a great kid but he's 13 and I'm chronologically, mentally and emotionally 23. He's like some kind of a nephew or much younger brother to me and he will always be my baby brother. I feel more attracted to grown men but they only see a young teenage girl when they look at me. Actually, I would call the police if they suggested to date me. There's nothing worse than pedophilia.
We walk to school. One more day before the weekend. I'm so looking forward to having fun.
To be continued…