Chapter One
"Kate, this is a shift from Hell." CeCe my charge nurse tells me in a quite frustrated voice, as I am walking pass her into my patients room. I nod in agreement, my mouth is full of chips. Its been the only thing I have eaten this whole shift. Though my 12 shift is coming to an end, I am going to be here for several hours more. 'Why did I pick this extra shift? Especially on a full moon.' Thinking to myself as I pass the privacy curtain of the patient's room.
"Hello. How are we doing?" I ask over enthusiastically. Trying to cover how tired I am and its only 4 a.m., tonight alone we delivered 8 babies, worked one nurse short and still had 3 moms laboring.
"When can I get an epidural?" The laboring patient asks. She was admitted earlier in the evening but hadn't made much progress. Looking over the print off from the computer on her contractions. She is going to be in labor for a while, with these type of contractions.
"Let me check you and see where we are?" I tell her as turn on the water to the sink and start to wash my hands. There's nothing more that I love then being a nurse. The enjoy I feel whenever I get to delivery a healthy baby to a family, I am walking on air. That new life lessens the dark parts of the world.
Plus my night shift team with my co-workers are the best, they are my support and family when my brother is deployed. My brother is usually on the other side of the world, so I could get more of a chance to chat with him. Adam is a soldier and my twin brother. Though he doesn't do normal soldier things, well not anymore. He was in the Army, then he did his time in Special Ops, but now he can't tell me where he goes or what he does. I am just here when he returns home.
I slide my hand into the gloves and I squeeze lube onto my fingers. "Bends your knees together, and let them fall apart." I pull the sheet up a little, so my hand is in the right place. "It's cold to the touch, and pressure. Breathe." I tell her, she was a 3 but now she is at a 5 cm dialed. She can have her epidural.
I tell her, I will order her epidural as I wash my hands again and leave the room. Sitting down at the nurses station and my feet are screaming in pain, they hurt. Its been a couple of days since the last time I have spoken to my brother, which is usual. My brother is the only family I am close with. Our family is complicated. Adam and I are the oldest, Rebecca is only a couple years youngers and Sarah was the baby of the family. But Sarah isn't with us anymore. Rebecca takes care of our mother back in Pennsylvania. I take care of everything while my brother is gone. I live and work in Washington D.C. just to be here when he needs me. Like Adam, I don't like to go home if we don't have too. Though Adam does have a cabin he goes to for weeks at a time in Pennsylvania, in the middle of nowhere. He tells me that where he goes to get his mind right before leaving for his next mission.
I open the bottom draw of the desk at the nurses station. I shove 3 more chips in my mouth and place my drink back on the counter top. Waiting for my desk top to load, I pull my phone out of my navy blue scrub top and I look to seeing if Adam has been on.
"Is that hottie brother of yours home?" Lexi asks, taking the seat next to me. Lexi has always had a thing for Adam, since he brought dinner to me one night.
"No. I haven't heard from him either." I tell her, worry bubbling around in my gut. Adam picture for his profile shows he hasn't been on. Adam has golden blond hair and aqua blue eyes. Our eyes is the only thing that links us as family or even twins. I have dark brown hair, thick with curls and I look like I haven't seen sunlight in years. Adam on the other hand looks like he has been sun kissed for his years working as a soldier.
A call light from a patients room beings to blink on the phone. "How can I help you?" I ask answering the phone, the patient isn't mine but her nurse was in with another patient.
"My wife is saying she is having a lot of pressure." the voice on the other answered.
Lexi and I both get up and quickly move into the patients room, knowing what that means. Its time to start pushing.
It was 10 am and I am finally leaving work. All my charting done and babies and mothers are healthy. For a full moon it could have been a lot worse. Last month I had a stillborn birth on a night like this, I will take last night as a win.
My work bag slang over my shoulder, sunglasses covering my eyes from the bright morning sun. My hair pulled into a ponytail, my feet killing me, and I am exhausted. Coffee being the only thing to keep me moving this morning. That first sip touching my soul and warming my whole body.
My phone buzzing in my scrub top. I am praying is not work, I don't think I can turn around at this point when I am already almost to my car.
Wave of excitement covers me, waking me up more when I see my brother's picture and phone number lighting up my screen.
"Are you home?" I can't control my smile
"Hey Kate, I just got back." His voice sounds stressed, this isn't a voice of someone who just returned from deployment.
"What's wrong Adam?" I start to worry.
"I have to finish some work here before I can leave base. Are you working tonight?" He ask me. I know he is needing to talk about something, whatever it is, is bothering him.
"I am just getting off now. I will be off tonight and the next two nights." I tell him. I cant wait to see him.
"Good. You want you can come over we can do pizza and beers." Adam starting to sound like himself.
"I like the sound of that. Just call me whenever you want me to head over." Though I know I wont be able to sleep today.
"I will. See you tonight." He tells her.
"Hey. Welcome Home Adam." I say, nearly bouncing in place.
"Thanks Kate." I hear him say, then the phone goes silent from his end. Adam didn't ever like to say good-bye, I don't know if it was his time with the military or what, but I don't know when the last time he told me Goodbye.
Dropping my phone in my pocket, I quickly make it to the my white Jetta. Not feeling tired anymore, I turn on my radio, roll down my windows and embrace the good of today. My brother is home.
Much later that night, after several hours of much needed sleep, I drive over to my brother's very much familiar apartment. While he is gone I visit his apartment, check his mail and ensure there isn't any problems with the apartment itself. Even though his bachelor pad needs some serious work and a woman's touch.
Stepping to the dark blue door and quickly rapping three knocks on the door. Seconds passed before her brother opened the door.
"Adam" I exclaimed, as we nearly fall backwards into his apartment.
"Hey sis." I hear him say, as he gives me tight squeeze, before we break our hug.
I tapped the door close with my foot, following Adam into his small living space. His apartment was not decorated, the kitchen opened up into the living room. Two bar stools and the bar served as the dining room. Nothing was on the countertops in the kitchen but the two boxes of the pizza and a six pack of bottle beer.
I lean against the bar, taking a long look at my twin. I can see that demons of war are haunting him. Nearly healed scratches on his forehead near his hairline were the only signs of injury from his deployment. He didn't gasp in pain from my hard hug and he wasn't limping. These are all good signs. But his dark circles under his eyes, and tired expression told me that he probably hasn't slept in days.
"How long have you been back?" I slip out of my shoes, and dropping my bag next to them.
"The day before yesterday." He said as he picked up the pizza and beer, making quick strides towards his favorite spot, his brown leather recliner chair. Placing both items on to the coffee table. His living room was small like the rest of his apartment. His couch and lazy-boy were placed in front of the flat screen television that was mounted on the wall, with the worn coffee table in between.
"So, tell me." I sit with my feet tucked under me, on the couch. Not sure if I should start eating, afraid whatever he could tell could make me sick.
"Just want to cut to the chase. No talk about work or anything that I missed for the last 9 months, you want to hear how bad it was." He said, not eating either. I can see it, he needing to talk through whatever it is he is seeing when he closes his eyes at night.
I shake my head vertically, waiting for him to speak. Leaning against the arm of the couch, my hand covering my mouth and I mentally prepare for my brother to spill.
"You know I talk to Xander on a regular and I do a post-deployment behavioral screening." Adam said sarcastically.
"You feel better every time, plus it me. I know how you are wired, the guilt you carry and how you relate things to our past." I wave my hand in a circular motion, telling to proceed.
"We lost Eli at the very beginning." Adam pausing taking a deep breath. "That shook the team, Jaz placing these walls up around. She nearly stopped talking to the rest of us. We got this new guy, and she went on the defense. She didn't want to have anything to do with him. Even questioning my authority in front of everyone. But Amir, somehow broke down her walls and making our team whole again. I cant tell you the amount of times this deployment we had stupidly close calls. I didn't think I was going to make it home this time." His voice broke a little. "I nearly lost Jaz." Adam rubbing his hands over his face, but his face darken at the memory. Knowing how Adam feels for Jaz, losing her would probably mean I would lose my brother too. "This last one, dealt with a little girl. All I thought of was Sarah, and I couldn't keep my head in place. Preach had to keep me in line. I would of flown off the handle, and then I did. We saved her, but at the cost of Preach." Adam now sitting up resting his elbows on her knees, head in his hands.
My heart is breaking, thinking the last time I saw Preach. Dinner before their deployment. Preach promised he would take care of Adam for me, like he always did when they were gone.
"He is in coma, with brain swelling from a brain bleed. We brought him home, so he could be with Sandra and the girls. I don't know if he is going to make it. I cant lose him." Taking a deep breath and steading himself. "I don't think McGuire can step up and be my second in command. OH! YEA! McGuire did something beyond stupid and getting his caught with his pants around his ankles and making my elite team look like a bunch of horny frat boys. Not a trained group of professionals." Adam shouted in his talking voice getting his frustrates out. Leaning against the back of the recliner.
The silence hung heavy in the air, I processed everything he just told me. I am glad he was home and alive. Preach is home. Though I haven't ever met Jaz and McGuire they are both home, so is the new guy. But Eli. They lost Eli. I wanted to cry for the only two people I knew from Adam's team. I quickly weep the underneath of my eyes before my tears spill over. I can't imagine the amount of pain and heart that Adam has endured these last few months. Everything we video chatted or messaged he seems stressed but happy.
"Your home now. Preach is home with his wife and daughters. Jaz, McGuire and Amir they are all home. Look at all the good you did. Look at the people you saved. Think of the jokes you will be able to tell because of McGuire indiscretions." I laugh. "Adam you did good. You can breathe now, your not at war." I told him, not bring up the part about Sarah. He is always trying to make up for what had happen to Sarah. He blames himself for her death. Anything dealing with kids always weighted on him more.
"Your right, Kate. I feel better." Adam exclaims in a defeated voice. I know he hates talking about it, but he will sleep better tonight knowing it is off his chest.
"Can we eat now that our therapy session is over?" He teased as popped open the pizza box, revealing the meat lover cover pizza.
"Yes please. I only had 8 Pringles, a coke and a cup of coffee. I am famished." I pull myself a slice and biting the end of the gooey heaven. Loving having my brother home. "Lexi, remember tall blonde? Looks like she played volleyball? Anyways, she wants to jump your bones. If you see her run, I don't want you sleeping with her or anyone else I work with. We share way too much at work, especially Lexi and I don't ever want to hear about how you are in bed." I joke, with my mouth full of pizza.
"I don't sleep around. Also I don't ever want to hear about what you do behind closed doors. " He laughs in the same matter, mouth full of pizza.