Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or any of its associated characters!

Summary: in which Sasuke leaves Konoha again, and Naruto keeps himself occupied. Written for snsmonth23 day 14 - prompt: I miss you. SNS, canonverse!

A/N: Snuck in another unplanned one! I hope you like it, friends :)

keeping busy

Naruto doesn't really know what makes him do it. Sasuke came back only to leave again, and even though it's different this time, Naruto still feels sort of—hollow. Painful. Like there's a wound that hasn't healed. He keeps opening it back up.

He finds himself walking around at night. He'd normally be training, right now, but even that—there's not much of a point to it. He still does it, of course he does, but it's different now that he's not desperate to find Sasuke. Or desperate to fight Sasuke. It's all just kind of—pointless. Or it—it feels that way, it's not like Naruto doesn't have missions. It's not like Naruto doesn't need to keep up his training. But training doesn't help the sleepless nights the way it used to, and Naruto…

Naruto finds himself searching for something.

It's not like things are bad. Sasuke hadn't even left on bad terms. Naruto had—understood. He'd thought he had. But he feels like he's fighting with himself about it all. He's okay with Sasuke being gone, like this. It's good for him. Sasuke had even checked with him, before he'd gone, in his own bastard way—he'd specifically waited where Naruto could find him. And Naruto had said his goodbye. And been okay with that. He'd been okay with that. Really.

…

It doesn't feel like he's okay with it, though. Especially not at night.

He breaths and follows a path through the Uchiha compound. A lot of this has been untouched since Pain's attack. There'd been a lot of other things to take care of, to be fair, and no one lived out here anymore, but…

Naruto grabs a piece of wood. It's a wall that's collapsed, here. It's all over the ground. Half of this building has gone. Some of the next one is still standing, though. He starts moving the wood to—a pile. He doesn't really know why. He keeps going until he's tired, though, and it works enough for him to go back the next night. He makes clones to spread out, check out the other buildings, see if there's actually anything still okay—and there are, there are a couple. Sasuke's old home is one of them. Naruto doesn't know if he should write Sasuke about that. He keeps thinking about writing a letter. He hadn't, yet. Sasuke hadn't either.

He lets the clones go everywhere else. He keeps Sasuke's house to himself. He only cleans it. He doesn't really touch anything. He's not so great at cleaning, either, so it takes a long time. The dust has built up enough to be a thick layer of fuzz, and Naruto spends half the night sneezing. It takes three nights before it's clean enough to sleep in. He doesn't mean to, but that's where Kakashi finds him—

Sitting up on Sasuke's floor, leaning against the wall. He'd only meant to rest for a second.

"Naruto," Kakashi greets, and Naruto immediately apologizes. He was late. He had no alarms, out here. He laughs and stands and he's covered in dust—

"Still?" Kakashi asks, and Naruto falls silent.

He has no defense. Kakashi doesn't try to talk him out of it, at least, and even hears him out a bit—there is good land here. There could be good houses. It was Sasuke's land, but it was worth tending to. Naruto didn't really have his permission to do that, but—

If he wanted to complain, he could come here and talk to Naruto about it. Sasuke knew where he was. Sasuke knew where he'd be.

Naruto sits on Sasuke's old balcony and writes a letter he doesn't send. He's been doing that a lot, too. Spilling his guts all over the place and then stuffing them all back in him. He doesn't really know. He doesn't really know what to do anymore. He writes a different one that he doesn't send either, asking about Sasuke's life, where he is, what he's seeing, if he might be coming—

No. He crosses that out. Sasuke's not staying away because he thinks he has to anymore. He's staying away because he wants to.

That's a thought that keeps Naruto up at night, too.

Kakashi tells Sakura, and Sakura tells Sai. They come to visit Naruto, and—well—there's not much of a point in sneaking off at night anymore. He's here pretty much all the time. It's a project. Something to keep him occupied.

Sakura still looks at him with sad eyes, though.

"Sometimes, it's like looking in a mirror," she sighs, and Naruto looks over at him. "But like a carnival one. All distorted and everything."

"Wow," Naruto says, because he doesn't really know what else she's talking about, "I know I'm ugly, but you didn't have to put it like that…"

Sakura laughs and punches him in the arm. She walks around and points out where Naruto could even do more, if he wanted. Replace the wood. Replace the paint. Replace the roofs. Naruto thinks he's just about ready to.

He thinks about the other letters he could write as he works. He doesn't bother actually writing them—he just plans them out. Writes them in his head. Thinks about all the things he could say. All the stuff he was doing here. There were boxes and boxes of stuff marked "for Sasuke" that Naruto didn't know what to do with. Or when he'd see them—if ever. It's the kind of thing you would typically let someone know about, but Sasuke had left on his own, and he hadn't left Naruto a way to find him. It's not really a chase anymore. Naruto's just left feeling like…Sasuke will come back when he's ready. Contact him when he's ready. Naruto just has to wait for it.

He thinks it, and Sakura stares at him with pity in her eyes. She stops in to help him move some things—books and scrolls, mostly, which she knows how to save. Or she'll do her best to. Sai does too, but he doesn't seem to mind. He doesn't have that worried stare. Or the tightness around her eyes.

Naruto's okay, though. Sakura's been looking at him like that for a long time.

"What?" he asks her. "This isn't that bad. You're the one who said I needed a hobby."

Her lips twitch a little.

"Is that what you call it?" she asks, and Naruto doesn't answer. He smiles a little, and clears another shelf. These ones stayed up, at least. Covered in dust and bugs and falling apart a little, but there's enough to save. Sai's sitting on a dusty bed, reading into something. He gets distracted with this stuff, nowadays. It's about as relaxed as he lets himself get.

"You have a mission tomorrow, don't you?" Sakura tries. "You should get some rest."

Naruto feels himself smile. She's not even subtle.

"She means go the fuck to sleep," Sai supplies, helpfully. "You look terrible."

"I'm covered in dust and dirt and wood—shavings," Naruto waves it off. "A shower and I'll be fine. I'll be fine, Sakura."

She doesn't believe him.

Naruto spends that night there, too.

He's distracted on the mission. Not that he pays for it—he's kind of finally reached that point where even at his worst, he's better than most people—but it takes him longer than it should. He's just used to…spreading out his senses, out here. He's so used to looking everywhere. Searching everything.

He's used to it, too, when he scrapes every edge only to find nothing. He knows it's nothing. He knows that the hint of Sasuke—that pulse, that chakra that he's memorized a million times over—is just his hope lying to him again. He's felt this a thousand times.

It still makes him feel the same.

Naruto doesn't understand why. He feels Sasuke, in his head. He feels the bond that they share. He knows he's okay. He knows he's out there, searching for what he needs to find. There's no point in pulling him back earlier. He's done that already, although—he had needed to do it, then. It's different now. It's different.

…

Naruto still feels the same.

He doesn't go to Sasuke's apartment that night. He goes to his own. The moon is big and lonely and he stares at it and wonders if Sasuke had ever really looked at it, the way Naruto always wondered if he did. He wondered if Sasuke wrote letters he didn't send, too. He wondered if he kept track of the toads he saw on the way. Of the ramen shops. Of the people that knew Naruto's name. Of the people that asked about him. What did Sasuke tell them, if they asked about him? Did he say he knew him? Did he tell them how?

Naruto goes back to bed and hugs his pillow until he falls asleep.

Sometimes, he just feels like he's twelve again.

He doesn't tell anybody about those moments. He's sure they can tell, when he has twenty clones rebuilding a house—and another twenty learning how to rebuild a house. Kakashi still makes him do diplomacy things and minor missions, but those are just the same as they always were—distractions. Attempts at distraction. Sakura has her own worried way and Kakashi has his, too. He hasn't figured out Sai's. Sai just kind of seems to…understand something.

He'd started drawing houses. Plans for them. Ways they might look nice.

Yeah.

Naruto thinks he might understand.

The morning is cool and quiet when he makes the walk over. He doesn't run. He waves at the people who wave to him. They're younger than him, typically—or just older. The oldest of the generations left in Konoha tend to be the ones that go quiet. Go guilty. They avoid his eye and bow their heads away. Naruto doesn't really get that, either. He'd take an apology. Hell, he'd take a smile. He would've taken it as a kid, too.

He gets to the Uchiha compound, and the gates need work, too. This was a bit he couldn't decide on. Remake it exactly as it had been, with its entrance small and its towering walls? Build it as the containment it had once been meant as?

It puts a bitter taste in his mouth.

He doesn't want to—change anything too much. He doesn't want to tear down and rebuild anything other than what had been there, but…he doesn't want to rebuild this bit at all.

So it's just stayed as it was—half torn, and falling down.

He sighs, and walks under the frayed fabric. He should at least remake the crests. At least do that much. It might not be an Uchiha compound anymore but Naruto sure as hell wouldn't let Konoha forget what it had been. He'd carved the clan's symbol everywhere. Into the doors. Along the frames. Just under the roof. Just over the steps.

He was getting pretty good at it. He wondered if it would piss Sasuke off, to have someone outside the clan putting his symbol all over stuff. He kind of hoped it would. Get him back here. Get him back here to yell at Naruto for it.

He stops, and his clones—aren't working anymore. None of them have disappeared, which is weird, but they're all hushed and whispering and looking at him. They're crowded up ahead of him, too—

"What's going on?" he asks, and his clones stare at him. Press their lips shut. Part just enough to let Naruto push through—

All of his clones disappear.

"Sasuke," he breathes, and Naruto's head pounds. Naruto's head throbs, a hundred memories of Sasuke smiling at them, telling them not to say, telling them not to disappear, telling them see how long it'll take him to notice—

That bastard.

That bastard.

Naruto tackles him to the fucking ground.

"You asshole!" he yells, and Sasuke laughs at him. Sasuke doesn't even fight back. His back hits the ground and Naruto grabs him by his stupid travelling cloak and there's the headband Naruto had kept for him all this time, it's tied right on the inside, it'd sit right against his chest—

"Took you long enough," Sasuke deadpans, and Naruto pushes his fists to his chest in a gentle, pathetic punch. "Why didn't you wait?"

Naruto blinks.

"When you were outside of Konoha," Sasuke says. "I felt you. I was on my way."

Naruto lets go of him.

"I—what?" he asks. "You—I was on a mission."

"I know," Sasuke says. "But you stalled. You were waiting. I felt you."

Naruto doesn't feel like he can breathe anymore. He doesn't feel like he can hear anymore. In fact, he's gone dizzy all over, foggy all over, there's just a ringing in his ears and Sasuke in front of his face—

"What?" he asks, because it's all he's capable of right now. Sasuke laughs at him. Pushes him back. Mutters something about impatience and helps Naruto to his swaying feet. Naruto thinks he's dreaming. Naruto thinks he's in a genjutsu.

He checks. Just quickly. Subtly. Sasuke notices, and his eyebrows raise.

Naruto pins his arms back to his sides.

"Just…"

He doesn't bother with the rest of the excuse. He just shrugs. Looks around. Presses his lips together. Without the swath of clones chattering and hammering and making noise, the compound seems—empty. Obvious. There's piles of work all over the place. There's everything Naruto's been doing. There's everything Naruto has done.

"You've been busy," Sasuke comments, and Naruto feels like he's being laid bare.

"Yeah," he says, "well. Had to—keep busy somehow."

He shrugs. Sasuke's eyes—change, a little. He looks at him harder. It's what he does when he's reading Naruto inside out. Naruto looks down, as if that'll make it harder for him.

"Where've you—where've you been?" he asks, and he's already failed. He's already looked up again. Sasuke's face looks so—soft. So calm. His hair is longer and his body isn't tense. There's no fight to his stance. No anger. Something about it makes Naruto ache.

"Around," Sasuke answers vaguely, and Naruto nods. That was about the extent of an answer he'd been— "Waiting."

Naruto's head jerks up again.

"Waiting?" he asks, and Sasuke looks—discontent. Awkward. He turns a little, as if he wants to walk.

"I stayed nearby," he mutters, and it's with a frown. With a furrow to his brow. Naruto stares at him and—thinks he must have misheard.

"Near—to what?" he asks, and Sasuke's stare turns incredulous. But Naruto—Naruto can't help it. He needs it spelled out. It's just not possible, otherwise. The idea in his head—that Sasuke had just been outside, had just been waiting, that Naruto could have gone out to meet him this whole time—

"You," he says, and it's obvious. It's so obvious. Naruto feels like he's going to burst into tears.

"Oh," he says instead, and it wobbles. He wobbles, too. They're starting to walk, and Sasuke's looking at things, and Naruto thinks he's just going to collapse, at some point.

"Um," he says, as Sasuke stalls, "I have—boxes. For you to go through. Of things from—here, if you—"

Sasuke's lips thin.

"Can you keep them?" he asks, and Naruto nods three times.

"Yeah," he says quickly, "yeah, of course I can."

Sasuke nods, and he continues to walk. Naruto stares at him and can't quite keep up. Eventually. Sasuke would look at things eventually. In the future. In a future where he would come back again, in the future when he would come back again—

"Um," he tries again, "Sakura's been helping with the—the books and scrolls and things. They should keep okay. And Sai drew up—Sai's been drawing some plans, if you want to see them or whatever, if you don't like them—"

"Plans," Sasuke says, and Naruto nods.

"For the houses. For the ones that need to be really rebuilt, y'know."

He shrugs, and—finds one to point at. It's rotting all along the base. They can follow some of the rooms, sure, but most of it…

"When did you learn to do all this?" Sasuke mutters. "I thought you were training to be Hokage."

"I am," Naruto says. "It's—it's a hobby."

Sasuke looks at him. He believes the excuse just as much as Sakura did.

"I had to do something," he says, breaking. "I was going crazy just—waiting here. I didn't know I could've just—"

He breaks again. Presses his lips together.

"Why didn't you write?" Sasuke offers, and Naruto—

"Why didn't you?"

It's a snap, but Naruto can't hold his gaze. It hurts too much. He aches too much. It's all over him, he knows. It's all over this place. The look at everything I've been doing is just look at the home I'm rebuilding for you and the look at the home I'm rebuilding for you is just look at what you could come home to and the look at what you could come home to is just please come home, please come home, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you—

Sasuke laughs. It sounds like a breath.

"Because you have no patience," he answers simply, and Naruto stares at him. Sasuke's smile is tinged with a—sadness. Hurt. Naruto doesn't know what he's done to return it to that face. "So I…thought you had reason to..."

He looks down. Naruto stares at him.

"You thought I was ignoring you?" he asks—

"I thought you had better things to do."

"Better thi—"

He can't even repeat the words. He can't even fathom them. They're cut right in the middle, and Naruto feels the cut in him, too—

"You're training to be Hokage," Sasuke points out, again, and Naruto is bewildered.

"Since when does that matter?" Naruto asks. "Does this look like training?!"

He waves an arm behind him. The buildings stand exactly the way he feels—imperfect, half-finished, and doing their best.

"What was it meant to be, then?" Sasuke challenges, and Naruto's breath tries to choke him. He doesn't let it.

"You know what it is," he mutters, and he turns on his heel. He keeps walking. He's rebuilt the dock Sasuke used to sit on, too. He'll show him that.

Sasuke snatches him by the arm and rips him back.

"Rebuilding Konoha," he says, and even he knows it's a lie. "Rebuilding your village."

Naruto just looks at him. He's not even angry. He's not even surprised.

"Is that what you think?" he asks, and it's not even really a question. Sasuke can't even defend it. He just lets go.

But it works. Naruto's stopped again, and he doesn't want to keep walking.

"Sorry I didn't go out," he says. "I didn't know you—wanted me to."

"I didn't," Sasuke says quickly, and then he—breathes in. It's like he's caught an instinct a second too late.

It's okay.

Naruto knows.

"Liar," he says, and then he starts to walk. Sasuke's at his side, this time. He doesn't protest—or try to lie again.

Naruto smiles a little.

"You look good," he offers, because Sasuke does. Way better than the shitstorms Naruto's seen him in over the years. He doesn't think he's seen a well-rested Sasuke since they were…kids.

"You look like shit," Sasuke offers back, and it makes Naruto laugh. He knows it's true. It's what everybody else has been saying, too.

"Yeah, I know," he says. "Can't really sleep anymore."

Sasuke looks at him. Naruto shrugs. Things have changed and they haven't changed. Sasuke is still gone. Naruto is still missing him. So.

He wasn't just going to magically—get over that.

"Nightmares?" Sasuke offers, and Naruto shakes his head.

"Nah," he says, although—yeah. Sometimes, it's the nightmares. "Just too much to do."

Too much he wants to do. Too many things he could do. There's still a part of Naruto that's convinced Sasuke could come home, and that's the part that never shuts the fuck up. It's in the back of his head, constantly, making lists on lists and asking Naruto how he can rest when there's so many things left to check off.

"You don't need to do this," Sasuke says, but he doesn't understand. Naruto smiles a little.

"I do, though," he says. "I can't just…not."

He looks down, and he feels Sasuke's eyes on him again. Dark and piercing and not angry at all. He's still getting used to that. It still makes him too happy for him to mind.

"You are impatient," Sasuke sighs, and it's like he's understanding something. Good. He ought to have understood everything already.

"Yeah," Naruto agrees. "Yeah, I am. I painted that one blue. D'you hate it?"

He points up ahead, and Sasuke blinks at the change in conversation. Naruto's been second-guessing the colour ever since he'd done it, though. It's a deep, navy blue. He'd done it in the middle of the night. He hadn't even really seen the colour until the next day.

"I don't hate it," Sasuke says, and Naruto breathes out his relief. It would've taken a million coats to cover that up again. He should've just left it as a natural wood, like most of the rest of them, but he'd been going nuts that night. He'd been so restless.

"Good," he says. "I haven't figured out what to do with the walls. I don't really want to rebuild them."

He looks over at Sasuke, and Sasuke looks back at him.

"You'd like my perspective on it, would you?" he asks, and Naruto raises a shoulder.

"It's your place," he says. "Even if you don't want it. It's still yours."

His steps stall again. He kicks a foot against the ground.

"I don't…not want it," Sasuke mutters, and Naruto's head snaps up. "Don't look at me like that. Naruto."

Naruto's mouth opens.

"I—don't look at you like—"

"Like you're—don't. Don't look at me like that."

He gives his head a shake and turns away. Naruto hurries his steps to keep up with him.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he insists, and Sasuke—Sasuke glares at him. Naruto falters again.

"That," Sasuke says, pointing at him. "Stop—stop that."

"I don't know what I'm doing," Naruto says, holding his hands up.

Sasuke glares at him. Naruto tries to acquiesce even further.

"...I hate you," Sasuke sighs, and he spins on his heel. Naruto doesn't know what the hell he's done. He catches up to him, because Sasuke sure as hell isn't leaving him behind again, and Sasuke—Sasuke just seems like he wants to go faster. He doesn't, he slows down instead, but he gives Naruto a look over his shoulder, like Naruto's done something to him again. Like Naruto's still doing whatever it is.

"Sorry," he offers again and Sasuke's lips go thinner.

"You should be," he mutters. Naruto feels some sort of righteous indignation pop up in him before it bursts into nothing—the protest fizzles before it can come out. Sasuke looks too rattled. He looks too…on edge.

"Hey," Naruto offers. "D'you want to go out of here? Of Konoha?"

Sasuke lets out a long-suffering sigh.

"That," he says, turning a corner, "is not the problem."

They've entered an alleyway. It's one of those dead ends. It just leads to a gate to a backyard, Naruto knows, he remade the lock a week ago—

"I hate you," Sasuke tells him, and Naruto's back is against the wall. "You should hate me too."

Naruto just looks at him.

"You don't hate me," he says, and Sasuke grabs him by the collar.

"I hate you," he insists, and this doesn't look like hate. This doesn't feel like hate. This feels like panic. This feels like hurt. This feels like two people who haven't seen each other in years, not knowing what to say and yet wanting to say everything all at once—

"Prove it," Naruto challenges, and Sasuke does.

He kisses him. Hard and insistent and with an anger that crumbles away into something soft and desperate and longing. Naruto grabs Sasuke with trembling hands. He asks him to press closer and Sasuke does, Sasuke does, Sasuke does. Naruto feels the ache in his mouth. He feels the ache in his chest. Sasuke kisses him with all of the hatred in his heart, and there's none of it. There's none of it that's ever been there.

Naruto feels something else instead.

The kiss breaks, and Sasuke presses his nose to Naruto's neck. Naruto closes his eyes and focuses on remembering how to breathe. He thinks he has to retrain himself. He thinks he can barely remember anything anymore.

"I hate you," he whispers, and he feels Sasuke's smile. "Where am I supposed to go to find you?"

Sasuke's breath breaks chills out over his skin. Naruto feels his grip tighten. He doesn't want to let go. He really doesn't want to let go.

"...I don't know," Sasuke mutters, "anywhere. Fuck you. I'll find you."

Naruto lets out a laugh. It's soft and broken and Sasuke pushes into him at the sound. Naruto rocks back into the wall.

"You'll find me?" Naruto asks, and Sasuke pushes him again.

"I'll find you," he says, and he pulls back. It's just enough to see his eyes. "And stop waiting. Idiot. You're terrible at it."

Naruto's smile widens.

"You're worse," he says, and Sasuke is caught by the words. He can't even argue them.

He'd come all the way here, after all.

"Shut the fuck up," Sasuke tells him, and he kisses him again. Naruto's never been happier to obey an order. "Don't make me come back here again."

"Make you," Naruto says, and Sasuke makes a grumbling, discontent noise into his neck again. "I can't make you do anything."

Sasuke squeezes him tighter. His hand is just above Naruto's hip. Just slipping under his shirt.

"You can," Sasuke says. "Don't."

Naruto does his best not to smile. His best isn't very good.

"Can I ask you, though?" he asks, and Sasuke kisses him again. He's talking too much. Asking too much. It feels like a yes, though, because it wasn't the coming here that Sasuke minded. It was the needing to. It was that Naruto hadn't come looking first. Sasuke had been waiting for him. Sasuke had been missing him.

Naruto had had no idea.

Sasuke kisses him until the sun goes down. Naruto spends another night in the compound. He makes his clones again. He walks Sasuke through a million plans, and Sasuke listens, half-heartedly, and does all he can to distract him. He does well.

He does too well.

They don't get very much done.

A/N: And that's it! For now. Hope you liked this one - Sasuke will absolutely get more involved in all of that, he's just still taking in coming back to Naruto first. It'll take Naruto a bit to realize that he can take that in at all :)

Have I mentioned I love this month yet? There's so much amazing art and writing that keeps popping up and agh! I just want to be part of it. Thank you all for indulging me too!

Until next time,

- Kinomi