Disclaimer: I own nothing regarding GWTW

Author's Notes: Thank you for all the reviews and feedback.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Scarlett thought about her conversation with Rhett later that evening also. She didn't analyze the entire conversation like Rhett and Clarence did. She just remembered how Rhett had not mocked her or was sarcastic with her the entire afternoon. Even when she knew she had deliberately tried to make him mad about his time in Europe after the war.

Pauline did write to her friend Elizabeth and ask her if she had room for her and Eulalie in her house. Within a week there was a return letter from Elizabeth. The letter said: No, I cannot afford to take you, my dear friends, in. I am living on a pay out from Langston's insurance policy. I barely have enough to support myself and Rosemary.

Elizabeth knew that her friends were living with their nieces at their family plantation in Georgia. She knew that her friends had a roof over their head and were getting three meals a day. If they had been completely destitute she would have taken them in, but she wasn't going to unless she had to.

The truth was that while Rhett's support check was generous, it was not generous enough to support two more people. Especially two people who would expect to live the life they had before the war had started. She and Rosemary had to do a lot of chores around the house to keep expenses down. She knew Rhett never would, but he could decide to stop their support check any time he wanted to stop it. Elizabeth was sure that Rhett would not be happy if he found out she had been wasting his money on Eulalie and Pauline. And he would find out considering he was spending time with her friends' niece.

Rhett had never liked her friends even when he had been a young man in Charleston. Of course, the sisters trying to match make him with their daughters had not helped. While both of the girls were attractive, they were both stupid ninnies according to her son. Rhett had once said to Elizabeth, "Even if I was madly in love with one of their daughters, I would not marry the girl because then one of those old witches would be my mother-in-law."

While Elizabeth had chastised her son, she knew he was unrepentant. She also knew he meant every word he had uttered. Of course, at the time he had been quite the catch. He could have married any young lady in Charleston. Elizabeth sighed as she thought about all the changes that had happened in the following years. Both the girls had died in an epidemic that had raced through Charleston.

As far as Elizabeth was concerned the sisters were everything about the old ways she would like to get away from. She wished she was brave enough to throw off the old ways. She knew she wasn't, but she didn't have to bring the old ways into her home as permanent residents.

Elizabeth damn sure didn't want the sisters to be continually talking about Rhett and the buggy incident. She also didn't want them talking about their niece Scarlett and all the mannish things she was doing. In Elizabeth's opinion the girl was just surviving and carrying her relatives with her, even those ungrateful, judgmental parasites that were her aunts. She also knew that Rhett had feelings for the girl. He had mentioned her far too often while he was staying with them before Langston died. That was strange that Rhett had known the exact date Langston was going to die. She had enjoyed those three weeks with Rhett, but they both knew it would never be repeated because Elizabeth could not stand being snubbed by polite society.

After receiving Elizabeth's letter, Eulalie and Pauline accepted their lot in life. This was the best they were going to get in this new world of theirs. They were poor relations to Gerald O'Hara's daughters. The girls were behaving like white trash and the older women knew the girls didn't have an ounce of Robillard blood running through their veins. Scarlett was acting like a man by running a sawmill and she didn't seem the least bit distressed that her husband had abandoned her. Just that he had taken all his money and Scarlett and her family had nothing to live on. Suellen had run off with Scarlett's husband. How in the world could one of their nieces have done something so improper? They didn't know what was going on with Careen in regard to the convent, but she was acting very mannishly also ever since her return to the plantation. She was asking Will all sorts of questions about the running of the plantation. The sisters had even heard talk that Careen was teaching that Cracker how to read. Like a Cracker would have the mental power to learn how to read.

The next week Rhett came to call at Hamilton House. He and Scarlett were sitting on the porch where they could be alone in plain sight. He was telling her funny stories about his life, the Scallawags, and the matrons.

Abruptly Scarlett said, "There is no good time to ask this, so I am just going to ask you."

Rhett immediately got serious. This was the first time Scarlett had initiated a subject in regard to their past. He said, "Go ahead, Baby. I will try to be as honest as I can be."

"Please, even if it ends up hurting me in the moment."

Rhett had a sick feeling, he knew what Scarlett was going to ask him, but he had to let her ask it. More importantly, he had to honestly answer it. He said, "All right."

"That afternoon right after Bonnie was born why did you get so mad so quickly."

Rhett held up his hand and said, "Let me compose my answer." After a minute, he said slowly, "Mr. Wilkes had every part of you, but your body." He stopped there and calmed himself. Finally, he said, "He had everything, but your body and he managed to take that away from me also. It was infuriating that you would do anything he asked you to do despite how much it hurt other people."

"Or myself."

Rhett gave Scarlett a sad smile then in an attempt at a joke, he added, "I may have been a little sexually frustrated since I was being faithful to you. Therefore, it had been almost three months since I had…."

"Is that why you went out that night and had …. With Belle?"

Rhett looked at his naïve wife. He could lie to her, and she would never know any different, but he never wanted to lie to her again. He never wanted to deceive her with his words or his actions again. He never wanted to hide anything from her again. As he metaphorically pushed all his chips into the pot, he thought, 'I'm all in. If this doesn't turn out good, I will get Clarence to negotiate for my soul.'

Rhett said, "No, my blatantly having relations with Belle had less to do with sexual release than it did getting back at you." Scarlett gasped. She looked stricken. Rhett thought, 'Let me get it all out at once.' He said, "I knew you were extremely jealous of her although you never had any reason to be. I also knew," Here Rhett paused and looked at Scarlett with an extremely sorrowful look on his face. He continued, "she would tell everyone in town what I had done."

Scarlett gasped. Tears sprang into her eyes and despite her vain attempts to brush them aside they kept flowing. When Rhett got up to comfort her, she said, "You take a step towards me, and you are a dead man."

Rhett just sat back down. He didn't say anything. There wasn't anything he could say. His actions were undefendable. Scarlett got up and paced around the porch. He took his handkerchief out of his pocket and held it up to her. She snatched it out of his hand, but she didn't say anything. After about five minutes, she said, "Why did you jump to the conclusion that me saying I didn't want to have any more children had anything to do with Ashley?"

"You had just gotten back from seeing the man, you had stormed into our bedroom, and I have the ability to read minds."

The last part of that statement made Scarlett stop in her tracks. She stared at him and said, "What?!"

"I believe I have the ability to read minds. Therefore, I knew what you were thinking and jumped to a conclusion. I didn't bother to stop and ferret out the truth because I already knew the truth."

"What?!"

"It seems I have the habit of putting two plus two together and getting four. It doesn't matter if the numbers are actually two plus three or three plus three. I know! Because I can read minds."

"What in Hades are you talking about?"

"Please come sit down across from me." After Scarlett was seated, Rhett said, "I am an extremely good poker player. Not because I always get good cards, but because I can size my opponents up fairly accurately probably ninety-five percent of the time. This ability also works with my fellow businessmen. I usually know who is lying and who isn't. I don't know how, but I can. Therefore, over the years I have learned to trust my instincts which is fine over something as paltry as a hand of poker or a business deal. The consequences of being wrong are not wonderful, but they are not dire. I might lose a couple of hundred dollars at most. The consequences of me being wrong in my conclusions in my dealings with you are dire and they may do damage beyond repair."

"Go on."

With a smile Rhett said, "I can't actually read minds. I would probably have a better relationship with you if I could, but that never slowed me down while we were married. I am working very hard at not assuming anything in regard to you. Or anyone else for that matter."

"I told you when we got married, I didn't want to have any children."

"I selfishly ignored that and got you with child anyway."

"Rhett, do you know of a way to prevent getting me with child?"

Sheepishly Rhett said, "I haven't a clue. I have never needed to be worried about the issue."

Scarlett scowled and said, "It was always someone else's problem."

"Yes. With the whores I have always used a condom. The condom does prevent a man impregnating a woman, but I didn't wear them for that reason. I wore them to prevent the transmission of diseases. I don't want to wear one with you."

"It lessens the feelings and sensations."

"Is there a way you can find out about preventatives?"

"Yes, but I won't ask Belle. I will ask someone who will be more discreet."

Scarlett smiled. She said, "I shouldn't have confronted you. I should have manipulated you the same way I did Frank and Patrick."

"You should have at least tried. Maybe then I might have actually thought the real reason was because you didn't want to have any more children. In truth, I should have called your bluff."

"My bluff?"

"You said you didn't want to have any more children. I should have said we won't have any more children, but we won't stop being intimate either. Then gone out and found a way to prevent you from getting with child."

Scarlett took a deep breath and said, "You weren't wrong in your conclusion. You were right. I didn't want to have relations with you anymore because of something Ashley had said to me. No, implied to me. He never actually said anything that way he could continue to tell himself he wasn't responsible for my actions that were destroying my life."

"You were just a girl out of control."

With a sad smile, Scarlett said, "Yes."

"I know this is going to sound strange, I certainly regret being unfaithful to you, but I regret making sure everyone knew about it more."

"That makes sense. How can you hurt me if I don't know what you have done?"

"I would never do that again."

"Even if our relationship goes down the hill."

"Yes, you are all I have ever wanted then when I finally got you, I did my best to destroy you because you didn't love me immediately. You said once that if I had given you half the tenderness, I gave Bonnie our lives would have been so much better. That was definitely a missed opportunity on my part. Not just, not giving you the tenderness, I should have, but not following up on that opportunity that very night."

"I think it was our last opportunity."

"No, our last opportunity was when I walked out the door the day after Miss Melly's death. It isn't much of an excuse, but I was just a mass of pain at that moment. I never thought I could be happy again. Of course, because I ran you off, I was never happy again. Yet by supernatural forces, we have the chance to get it all now. You just have to trust I won't turn into that hateful man again."

"I don't know if I will ever be able to trust you enough to marry you again."

"Then I will have to prove you can trust me."

"How?"

"I don't know, but I will think of something. Let me kiss your cheek and then I will be on my way for the night."

"All right."

Scarlett watched Rhett walk away. She always did. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, but he had already abused her trust far too many times for her to consider doing that.