Thursday, July 28, 2022- 29 weeks

"No." I stare at Sheldon in disbelief as he pulls a stack of plates from the cabinet, setting them next to the silverware already resting on the counter.

I slam the refrigerator behind me. "What do you mean no?"

"I don't think it's a good idea. You're a Nobel-winning scientist. How can you even think about throwing all your work and research away?"

I thought Sheldon would at least be willing to discuss this before making a decision. He's a man who has weighed the pros and cons for every decision he has ever made. It took him weeks to choose a new video game console. "Winning a Nobel was your dream. Being a mother is mine and this is what I want to do. Why are you saying no?"

Sheldon moves back to stir the pan on the stove, and with his back to me states, "It was never the plan. Can you ask about working from home a few days a week?"

"How can I work from home? I can't bring brain specimens home & keep them in the fridge. Hell, you almost walked out of my lab with a tray of specimens once thinking it was your sashimi." I storm out of the kitchen, leaving Sheldon standing next to the stove. I find myself in our son's room; the room has become a bit of solace for me when I need a few minutes to myself in recent weeks. I search for Penny's contact in my phone and call her. Before she has a chance to say hello, I blurt out, "We need to have a girls' night, tonight. Please say Leonard can watch Ava and we can get dinner or something?"

"What'd Sheldon do now?" Penny knows me too well.

"It's too much to explain over the phone."

I hear Penny talking to Leonard for a minute before she replies, "Yeah. Do you want me to pick you up or meet you somewhere? I can call Bernadette and tell her to ditch the kids with Howard."

"No," I shake my head to myself. "I can drive myself. Can we just go to The Cheesecake Factory?"

"I'll meet you there in twenty minutes."

I take a few deep breaths after Penny hangs up before opening the door. Sheldon hears my footsteps down the hallway and calls out, "Dinner is ready."

"We're having an impromptu girls' night. I'll be back later." I grab my purse and collect my car keys from the hook in the kitchen and once again leave Sheldon standing in the middle of the room.

Neither Penny nor Bernadette ask the reason for this spur-of-the-moment night out until after we've placed our orders and they've gotten their drinks. I could really go for a drink tonight. "Okay, you said it was too much to explain on the phone. What'd Sheldon do?"

"Okay," I let out a sigh. "We were making dinner and I was telling him about the meeting I had with Mrs. Davis this afternoon. I asked to meet with her to clarify some questions I had about the university's parental leave policies for me and Sheldon."

Bernadette sips her drink, inquiring, "How does you talking to Mrs. Davis lead to us ditching our kids and husbands?"

"I told Sheldon that I was thinking that maybe I don't want to go back to work after the baby is born," I admit to my best friends.

"I felt that way after Halley was born and Howard and I both contemplated staying home after Michael was born."

Penny opens her mouth to chime in, but stops as the waitress approaches our table with three plates. She continues once our meals are in front of us. "Let me guess, Sheldon didn't like that idea."

I confirm her guess, "He didn't just not like the idea, he said no. No explanation, just no. When I asked why, he said I'm a Nobel-winning scientist and shouldn't be throwing away my work like that. I don't think of staying home to raise our child as throwing away my work." My voice catches in my throat, "We wanted this for so long. We went through so much to get this baby. I don't want to miss a minute."

"It'll be okay," Penny reaches over, placing her hand on my arm, rubbing gently. "We know how Sheldon gets with change. He probably had a plan all worked out in his head and this doesn't follow that. I'm sure he'll come around once he sees you staying home isn't a bad thing."

"Wait. What do you mean 'you went through so much to get this baby'?" Bernadette drops her fork against her plate, bringing attention to my previous statement.

Penny's face softens, "Sweetie, you can talk to us about anything, you know that, right? Did something happen? Did you have a miscarriage or something?"

I wasn't planning on telling my friends, especially not like this, but here we go, "We tried to get pregnant for almost a year before we saw a specialist. This baby was our third attempt at IVF."

"What?" "Why didn't you say anything?" The other women at the table talk over one another.

"Sheldon and I decided we didn't want to burden you guys with what we were dealing with." I let out a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding. "You had your own stuff going on. Penny, you and Leonard had a newborn. You were working insane hours, Bernadette, while Howard and Raj were taking care of Halley and Michael. We thought it would be easier to keep it to ourselves than have everyone constantly asking about it. It killed me to not talk to my best friends about this."

Penny leans over in her chair, giving me a gentle hug. "Give Sheldon some time, he'll come around. And if he doesn't, I'll kick his ass for upsetting a pregnant lady."

Silence falls over the table as we eat our dinner when Bernadette suddenly says, "Over a year and you never said anything?"

"Yeah," I nod. "We decided to try not long after Ava was born. When her first birthday came around and I still wasn't pregnant, I went to the doctor. We did IVF last September and November without success. The doctor suggested trying again in December right away, but I wanted to enjoy the holidays and my birthday without stressing over everything. Sheldon and I were so relaxed and stress-free. It was almost like it was before we started trying. No schedule, no shots, just being together when we wanted."

In the midst of my explanation, Penny chuckles under her breath, prompting Bernadette to swat her hand at her from across the table. "This isn't something to laugh about."

"I'm sorry, Amy. I wasn't laughing about what you and Sheldon went through," she apologized. "I can't imagine going through that and not talking to you guys about it. I was thinking about that time we had a Christmas party when Sheldon went to Texas. Someone made a joke about Sheldon being in the room when you give birth and I replied that I'd pay you if he's in the room when you make the baby. Guess I don't need to pay up."

For as horrible as this evening started, I find myself cracking up. "Omigod. I'd forgotten about that." The laughter subsides after a few minutes and I look at my best friends. "Thank you for this."

Bernadette reaches for mine and Penny's hands "No matter what happens & what's going on in our lives, we will never be too busy for one another. Big or little, we'll figure it out together."

Returning home, the house is mostly dark, save for the light above the stove and the glow of the television and small lamp in the living room. Sheldon meets me under the archway between the living room and dining room as I make my way through the kitchen. "I'm sorry for shutting you down earlier," he states before I even take my purse off my shoulder. "I should have let you explain your reasons and listened to them with an open mind." That was not what I was expecting to come home to. I thought I'd be walking into a whiteboard full of reasons why staying home after the baby is born is a bad idea. "I know this isn't a suggestion you would make lightly; I'm sure you've spent a great deal of time thinking about this. You know I like to know what the plan is and this isn't something you've ever mentioned. I know parenthood comes with a lot of unexpected, unforeseen things and I'm trying to accept them as they come and not shut down like I did to you."

Wow. I was expecting I'd need to plead with him to talk about this tonight. And to be honest, I'm not sure if I feel up to talking about this tonight after what happened earlier. "Can I go to the bathroom?" I need a few minutes to regroup. He steps to the side, silently allowing me to pass. Emerging from the restroom in the hallway, I find Sheldon waiting for me in the nursery. "Hi."

"Hello," he motions for me to sit in the rocking chair. I sit back and wait for him to speak again. "Why do you want to stay home rather than return to work at the end of your maternity leave?"

"I've always wanted to be a mother and I don't want to miss a minute with our son. I've been thinking a lot about the way I was raised and my relationship with my mother. I don't want to be that kind of parent."

Sheldon reaches for my hand, "You are not your mother and you will never be your mother."

"I know, but I can't help but worry." Sheldon cut me off earlier before I could share all of my thoughts about staying home to raise our son. "As you know, I talked to Mrs. Davis this afternoon. The university gives twelve weeks of maternity leave, which is amazing, but I was thinking I'd see about taking more." He tilts his head, silently questioning me. "I was thinking I could stay home until the baby's first birthday, then we discuss me staying home longer or going back to work."

"Will they let you take a year off?"

Smirking, I use Sheldon's reasoning of being a Nobel-winning scientist to my advantage, "I'm a Nobel-winning scientist. I'm sure they'll be okay with it."

I know Sheldon's reaction was a lot, but keep in mind he is a character who doesn't do well with change and he's experiencing a lot of changes. He's a man with a plan and things are deviating from that plan, but he's trying to do better with change, even if that means he unintentionally upsets those around him.

This is the first and only update for this week because I was at Disneyland. I had a last-minute change of plans and ended up doing the WB tour for my birthday on Thursday. I've done the tour a few times since becoming a fan of TBBT and this was the first time we got to go in Stage 25- The Big Bang Theory stage. Bob Hearts Abishola films there now, but I was geeking out over being in the building TBBT was filmed in.

I have 3 chapters left to write for this story & was hoping to finish at least one this weekend. I had plans to spend the morning with friends about 45 minutes away. I came downstairs to my mom telling me I could use her car if I still wanted to go, but my car was hit last night & is unable to be driven that far until after it gets looked at. (It was legally parked on the street in front of our house- someone hit it & left sometime overnight.) I didn't go out this morning or get any writing done because we spent the day cleaning the garage so both cars could be parked inside. Now we're waiting to see if the police can find who it was and what the insurance company says next week.