A.N. Hey all! So this is my first time writing fanfiction in over a decade (I know, right?) so please bear with me. I love Meredith/Alex both as a friendship or romance, so had an idea to write a whole bunch of Merlex one-shots. They should be done in a format that means they can be read as continuous or alone, I'll specify in summaries if romance is involved or if it can be read as purely friendship for those who aren't fans of them as a relationship. They'll take place based from episodes, although likely won't be every episode, just ones I felt I could pull inspiration from. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Things started to take shape in front of her eyes. Izzie had been called unobservant at times, but they couldn't accuse her of that now. The lack of a goodnight kiss may ordinarily be a blessing after a mediocre date, to put it politely, but when she had actually gone out on a limb for someone with a dodgy reputation and he treated her like crap, was oblivious to the failure of the evening and then knocked her back, that was frustrating to say the least. She knew he was into her, so the only thing that made sense was that there must be someone else on his mind that he felt like he was betraying, and the only person who made sense was Meredith.

She was the only one who defended him, who he seemed defensive of. Everyone else hated him or didn't consider him relevant, which she supposed was even worse. Earlier she had been grateful that at least one person wouldn't be too difficult to win over if she made things work with Alex, now she could see the truth. They were entwined in some way that she couldn't understand, but could imagine.

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"This is a very small bed."

George's words washed over her, she was much more focused on Meredith's.

"He's a brain surgeon." And there she goes again. On one of her stupid rants about Shepherd to make us all think her world revolves around him, when really she's up to sneaky tricks behind his back. Izzie was no stranger to negative emotions, she felt a familiar anger rise within her now.

"I look fantastic. I shaved my legs!" This time, her anger was peppered with something unfamiliar. She had been bitter before, held grudges certainly. But this was different, between Alex and Meredith they were teaching her how to despise. Her rosiness was being tinted with black.

"He's a brain surgeon. How can he be so brainless?"

Izzie couldn't help herself. She blurted out. She was glad her only words had been "Hello? Seriously!" because they could be interpreted as further complaining about her date. Usually, when bitter, she would find a way of exposing someone's dirty deeds in order to make herself feel better, but the darkness she was feeling couldn't muster even that. Instead, she lay there and allowed George to comfort them both, without showing the betrayal she felt.

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Izzie felt sick as she saw him standing there. She knew she had to walk past him, she knew he would try to talk to her. That's how it always went in these situations, right? The person who has done the hurting always wants to talk to the one who is hurt, tries to understand what it possibly could have been that they had done wrong, because they just don't understand and need pointing the right way, before everything falls into place and they take every possible action to become a better person and resolve things. That's where the romcom ends.

This wasn't a romcom. His secret trysts with Meredith that he had neglected to tell her about weren't just a passing fancy that filled the time before she fell into his life and exploded his heart. Body and soul, he wasn't hers. When this thing that she didn't understand had begun, he hadn't been doing anything wrong, and as much as it made her skin crawl she couldn't resent him for that. When exactly had that been, anyway? Since Addison arrived? That would make sense, Meredith felt betrayed and sought solace in him. Yet, their relationship had been like this for longer than that, for quite some time. What he had done wrong, what he should have done differently, was cut things off with Meredith or at least been honest with Izzie and not pursued her.

He had pursued her though, hadn't he? He had made his intentions with her known. If he always seemed cool and collected about it, she would dismiss this out of hand as part of his game in seducing anyone he came across, that she and Meredith would just be other numbers. Except he wasn't - he flushed, he stumbled over words, she had seen his hands shake and him chewing inside his lip in her company. That must count for something, that maybe he had never intended to become involved with her, that she had caught him by surprise. So maybe she was wrong, maybe he would change things. Maybe he was wiser than the cheap excuses for men in romcoms, and when she walked by, he would know the truth. He wouldn't speak, or when he did it would be to apologise or tell her how he was putting things right. Maybe. She would keep quiet, just to see.

"What? You're not talking to me anymore?" Ah. He was acting dumb. Maybe he was playing the stupid romcom game after all. She still wanted answers.

"Ok, what happened last night? What is going on with you?"

"I'm fine. What your problem?" At least the romcom guys acted slightly appeasingly, not shifting blame because they can't see the issue with their own behaviour. She was wrong, he wasn't wiser than them.

"Fine. You know what, Alex? No, I'm not talking to you anymore."

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"That does not look comfortable."

Izzie stared at the TV screen in both awe and disgust, along with the other girls. Cristina was right, the activity on screen certainly did not look comfortable, but it wasn't the only thing. The atmosphere in the room did not look comfortable either.

This was partly because here they were, three young and attractive female doctors, attempting to help treat a man whose remedy for pain was watching 'Nasty Naughty Nurses 4' in the presence of them and his wife. Mostly, it was because Izzie stood with two of her friends while inwardly furious at one who had no idea but surely knew that she was being nefarious as their date was no secret.

Meredith was the one to break the silence. "Trust me. It's not."

As Cristina and Izzie turned to look at her with mouths agape, the latter found herself praying that Derek Shepherd had been the other person in that scenario. Because if Meredith had been mixed up in that position with Alex while Izzie's frame had remained lonely, she thought her mind would burn.

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George just wanted to get through his day peacefully. That's all he ever wanted, but he could feel a storm brewing and it felt bigger than the warnings had been. He knew Izzie's anger at Alex was justified but he could feel something more bubbling over, that he didn't yet have reasons for but assumed he would be the one to hear about it when the shit inevitably hit the fan.

"So, Dude, what's the deal with Izzie?" Alex stared at George with that irritating look on his face, the one he bore whenever he wanted to do his own thing and thought other people were being unreasonable. George really did not want to have this conversation, but he knew if he didn't then this whirlwind would continue and he would be the one picking up the pieces.

"She shaved her legs for you."

"And?"

"And you didn't even kiss her good night." He knew that Alex wouldn't get it, the brutish ones never did, they just didn't understand both the simplicities and complexities of a woman's mind. He really didn't want to have to explain this in front of a patient, and he didn't have to.

"She shaved her legs for you, and you didn't follow through?" See, the guy on a gurney got it. He was here for help and yet he knew through momentary earwigging that Alex fucked up.

"Hey, I follow through." Alex scoffed. "I always follow through."

George found himself amused despite his reluctance. "You didn't last night."

Alex snapped back, "Mind your own business."

His idiocy left George incredulous. "Mind- She had expectations. Women have expectations and you didn't meet them. I live with these women and everytime you guys don't meet their expectations I have to hear about it. I didn't get any sleep last night. So, you know, it is my business."

There was definitely more going on here than George knew. Why hadn't Alex followed through? Maybe the reason for that, would also be the reason for the storm he could see coming a mile away. What he saw and heard from these girls hurt his brain, because even though he understood them more he still couldn't fix things and sometimes still didn't fully comprehend. Would it always be the same? Alex and Derek, they both baffled him. Here they had this amazing opportunity to grow something beautiful with these women and neither of them could see it, he feared that when time and tide came along the beauty would be worn away completely.

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"I hate Alex." She was waiting for a response from Meredith, she knew she was. It didn't have to be in words, darting eyes or fidgeting with hands would do it. Instead -

"And the non sequitur award goes to ..." Cristina rolled her eyes. Izzie felt sceptical about her lack of knowledge, Meredith was her person, surely she knew everything. Then again, maybe she didn't. Even if she did, she wasn't to blame. They had built a good relationship here, Izzie had never really had female friends before, she didn't want to lose them now. She might be mad at Meredith, but she would find a way around it.

"I'm Sorry. I hate Alex."

"I broke up with Derek."

"Burke wants to have a relationship."

Izzie sighed. Yes, she would find a way around it. Because for all the jealousy and rage in the world, she would not lose the only family she had here, and Meredith was a big part of that. She would not be responsible for destroying these lands. "Boys are stupid."

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"What were you doing the first year, the first time you had a cardiac episode?"

While Verna and Lou discussed, Izzie tried desperately to remain focused on the job. If she was choosing not to make war out of everything that was going on, silently or otherwise, between her, Alex and Meredith, she was going to have to dive head first into cases and not let thoughts of it consume her life.

They had mentioned the passing of a neighbour. "And you were close to Ted?"

"No, Oh we barely knew Ted." Izzie heard the words Verna spoke, but her face told a completely different story. It told a thousand different stories, of a thousand different lifetimes, but that all amounted to one thing that as a stranger, absolutely wasn't her business but as a doctor trying to treat her, unfortunately was.

"That was all very sad, but what does that have to do with Verna's heart?" Lou asked.

Izzie looked to Verna, whose eyes pleaded back at her. Normally she would scold her, say that as her doctor she needed to know everything. Right now, part of her felt even more inclined to do so as she was the Lou in her own situation, the difference was that unbeknownst to Alex and Meredith, she was aware of it. Poor Lou didn't know, and he had the right to, but as someone also in his situation she felt her resolve softening for him and her sympathy rising. She didn't have to turn this mans image of his marriage into desert sands. It could wait.

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Izzie broke the news: "You have Stress Cardiomyopathy."

"Cardiomyopathy?" Verna looked confused. "What? Can you tell me what that is?"

There were three answers to that question. There was medical journal definition, the one she was taught at medical school. There was another answer they used for patients, to help them fully understand their condition in their own language, more digestible for them. The last option was simple, it was a name, and like most things in life it held more weight than showed on the surface. "It's Ted."

"Ted?"

"Ted." Izzie repeated, knowing that this was the best way to get through to her patient. Without Lou here, they needed to address exactly why this was happening. "Not just a neighbor you barely knew, was he?"

Verna became indignant. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Izzie tried her best not to get exasperated. Who would willingly admit this? Her job was to make sure her patient understood what was wrong with her, and to do so without judgement. "Because every year on the day he died, you got a rush of adrenaline caused by stress. Your pressure rises, you have chest pains, and you end up here." That was when the air in the room changed.

"27 years. I loved the man next door and he loved me. I know how this is gonna sound... Ted was my soulmate. And then he just died."

Izzie found herself doing the understanding. No matter how mad she was in her personal life, how this case niggled at her, hearing those words and seeing the repercussions of a love lost made her realise how painful it must be. "It's grief. Your heart stops because you're greiving for Ted."

"So what do I do next? I mean, how do you treat it?"

That really was the golden question. As they aged, so aged cardiomyopathy and the entanglement of Alex and Meredith, for they would never be completely erased. You can fight against a disease of the heart, both medical ones and emotional ones, but never to much avail. Maybe one day Verna would be bolder than her grief, and the attacks wouldn't be as severe. Maybe one day, Izzie would be bold enough to laugh in the face of romantic competition and just walk away.

"I wish I knew."