"Banchina, my love." Yasopp greeted his wife over the Den Den Mushi. He was sitting at the island in the Red Force's kitchen with a newspaper in front of him and a cup of coffee in his left hand.
"You're in the East Blue, right?" His wife asked. In the background, Yasopp could hear Usopp complaining about too many things and asking why he must pack so much stuff.
"Aye, just made it in on Wednesday. Why? Would you like to meet up," Yasopp asked suggestively, rolling his eyes at Lucky and Hongo when they wolf-whistled. "Ignore them, the last time they had sex Fisher Tiger had started the rebellion against the Celestial Dragons."
"Usopp, hold this for me, please. Yes, but not for what you want, you perv." Banchina said with a fond scoff. "This too, sweetie."
"It's not perverted if you are my wife," Yasopp complained.
"Usopp, grab this too, dear—"
"Ugh, no, Mom! I can't. You're too much. This is why Daddy left." Usopp complained through the Den Den Mushi.
Yasopp choked on his coffee at his son's comment. "Usopp, don't talk to your mother that way." He scolded, trying to keep the laughter out of his voice. He accepted the rag from Lucky to wipe up his mess on the counter.
"Sorry, Mom," Usopp said with a resigned sigh. "But Dad, she's making me pack a million things. You'd think we were moving."
"Where are you going?" Yasopp stared at the den den in confusion. When Yasopp left, Banchina had promised to keep him abreast of any major developments involving Usopp. The last he had heard, Usopp was expelled from school, and Banchina was taking some time off to homeschool him.
"The child's seven but acts like he's grown. I don't know what I am going to do with him." Banchina said with a cluck of her tongue. "That's why I called, actually. He's 'packing a million things' because I need to go on a mission for Dragon and can't take him with me. It's much too dangerous. This is an 'all hands on deck' situation with no one to watch him at headquarters."
"You want me to watch Usopp?" Yasopp asked dubiously. He would love nothing more than to have Usopp stay with him for a while, but he could not help but recall the many times she had barely let him change their son's diaper without supervision. While he knew he was definitely in the top three people she would trust with Usopp, he was also well aware that Buggy was ahead of him by miles.
"I want you to take care of your son," Banchina snapped. "It's not 'watching' or 'babysitting' if the child is yours, dingbat."
Shanks and Benn snickered, having caught the tail end of the comment when they entered the kitchen.
"Dingbat, that's pretty good. I think I will steal that," Lucky muttered to Hongo.
Benn walked over to the counter to grab a coffee while Shanks approached Yasopp, arm wrapping around his shoulders as he leaned down to talk into the Den Den Mushi. "Banchina, darlin'! Is everything going okay?".
Yasopp slapped him away and made a grab for the den den, only to trip over his feet when Shanks manoeuvred around him. "Ah, I see. You need us to keep Usopp for a while?" Shanks hummed in understanding. "It won't be any trouble. We are on a bit of a vacation at a moment at Foosha island. He will have Uta, and there is a boy, Luffy, who is around his age on the island to keep him entertained."
"Are you sure, Shanks?" Banchina asked. "I know he's a handful. The entire reason I even have to do this is that he was expelled from school. I've been forced to homeschool him because every other school on the East Blue refuses to take him in due to his past behaviour."
"Hey!" Came Usopp's indignant reply. "I didn't mean to get expelled from school. How was I supposed to know an exothermic reaction would occur if I put potassium chlorate and glycerin together!? Besides, it's not as if anyone got seriously hurt…"
"It blew up, and your professor and several students were sent to the nurse for stitches. You're lucky that was all that happened. You could have killed everyone in your class."
"Don't be dramatic, mom," Usopp said with a heavy sigh. "Uncle Buggy even said there was no chance of that happening."
"Yeah, well, Buggy is getting an earful the next time I see him," Banchina muttered. "But case and point." She said with a sigh. "He's much more advanced than others his age, and it has been landing him in a boatload of trouble."
"We can handle him, Banchina," Shanks reassured her. "Will Buggy be making an appearance? I feel like I haven't seen him in forever."
"Ah yeah, he mentioned something about staying out of your path. I can't remember his exact wording, but he definitely said something about 'co-dependency' and needing space, and someone holding the other back - I won't lie; sometimes I block him out, especially when he's drunk, but that was the gist of it.
"He should be making an appearance, though. He's currently doing his travelling circus by Logue Town and will be making his way back 'round this way in about a fortnight or so. I know Usopp has a ton he wants to talk to him about, and he promised a visit next time he was nearby."
Shanks grinned, "That could make for an interesting time."
"Be nice," Banchina said playfully.
"I've no idea what you mean," Shanks said with faux innocence. "I am the epitome of nice."
Banchina giggled, "If you say so, Captain."
"Okay, Banchina. Usopp will stay with us on the Red Force while you're on your mission. Don't worry about him. He'll be safe." Shanks pressed his hand to his heart. "I promise it on my life."
"Hmm, do you have anything more valuable to promise it on?" Banchina asked.
"Ouch!" Shanks looked over at Yasopp, fake outrage on his face. "Your wife is stone cold!"
Yasopp merely held up his coffee, hiding his grin behind his cup.
"Seriously, thank you, Shanks. I was at my wit's end trying to figure out what I was going to do with him," Banchina said with a sigh.
"I'm always happy to help." Shanks leaned over to slide the Den Den Mushi over to Yasopp. "I'll hand you back to your husband now. We will see you and Usopp soon."
"Bye, Shanks."
"We will be here whenever you return," Yasopp said with a small smile.
Banchina made a pained noise over the receiver. "Don't fret, my love. Everything will be alright. Just focus on your mission and come back to us safe."
"I will."
Banchina fell silent for a moment. He could hear the scrape of her pen on a piece of paper. "We will be on the morning ferry to Foosha on Friday. We should be there around 12, if the wind and seas hold up."
"I look forward to seeing you. I love you."
"I love you too."
"Bye, Daddy. See you soon!"
"Be good, Usopp!" Yasopp called just before the connection was cut off.
Yasopp bit his lip as he smiled. He couldn't help but feel a sense of joy at the thought of seeing Usopp and making up for lost time. Banchina may have called him a dingbat, but he was determined to prove to her that he was a responsible and loving father who would do whatever it took to raise his son right.
Author's Note
Let me know what you think!
All the best,
Chandlure