Slade's one good eye snapped open as soon as a scream of pure fear and terror resounded throughout the house and he jolted awake, immediately getting out of bed. His heart lost a beat as he realized that the scream came from Dick's room, and the next second the mercenary found himself running down the hallway.
He quickly reached the door to Dick's room and his head snapped to the side when he heard footsteps approaching. Rationally, Slade knew that Wintergreen would be a better candidate to take care of a ten-year-old boy who was severely traumatized for life, yet he still nodded to his friend, silently informing him that he would take care of the situation. William hesitated and nodded, silently turning back.
Barely giving him a second glance Slade opened the door. Despite the darkness he could see Dick whimpering in fright and twisting in the blankets. It was clear that the kiddo was having a nightmare, and a rather horrible one at that.
The super soldier frowned, thinking that being a Talon the kiddo could not fall asleep but finally shrugged it off. He approached the sleeping figure of the little acrobat and shook him firmly.
"Kiddo wake up, it's just a nightmare."
Immediately golden eyes widened and before Slade even knew what was happening he staggered dazedly backward, holding his aching jaw.
He should have guessed that jolting a Talon awake would not be one of his best ideas.
"Dick, it's okay. It's just a nightmare." repeated Slade softly, approaching the kiddo.
Golden eyes merely stared at him silently before the acrobat spoke, his voice hoarse from disuse.
"Slade?"
"It's me, kiddo." the mercenary reassured him. After a brief hesitation Slade sat down on the bed, neither too close nor too far from the kiddo.
The former soldier had to mentally admit that it was a rather unusual sight and for anyone else disturbing to see two golden eyes shining in the darkness.
A heavy and uncomfortable silence descended between the two that was broken by the kiddo. "I'm...sorry for hitting you." he said, not meeting the older man's gaze.
"Don't worry, kiddo," Slade affirmed, waving a dismissive hand.
Silence fell again between them, and uncomfortably Slade moved slightly in his seat, not knowing exactly how the hell to proceed.
Damn it, he knew he would have to leave the task to Wintergreen.
He cleared his throat in an attempt to take some time. "Bad nightmare, huh?"
Slade wanted to slap his forehead as soon as the words came out of his mouth.
I'm a fucking idiot.
The kiddo stiffened and his grip on the blankets tightened. He merely nodded stiffly in an almost robotic motion.
Another beat of silence passed between them, the mercenary's brain working overtime to think of what to say appropriate in such a situation.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he grimaced and raised his hands in the air when the kiddo shook his head wildly. "It's okay, you don't have to."
His muscles relaxed slightly when he saw Dick relax minutely at his words.
That meant he was probably doing something right, right?
"Do you need anything?" asked Slade awkwardly after another silence.
There he was: Deathstroke The Terminator fidgeting nervously and awkwardly because of a kiddo.
Slade was grateful that besides Dick no one was seeing him like this, otherwise he was forced to kill it.
The former military man saw Dick pondering intensely, almost as if he was struggling with himself whether to say something or not.
"Can you... can you stay here tonight?"
If it were not for his super-hearing Slade probably would have missed those whispered words so softly. He nodded.
"If that's what you want then sure."
He gave a silent sigh when he saw Richard nodding frantically.
Fortunately, the bed was big enough to hold both of them: so Slade lay down some distance from the kiddo to avoid suffocating him, scaring him or something if he was too close to him.
Slade got the harsh reminder that the kiddo was no longer human when his super-hearing did not pick up Dick's heartbeat but only his faint breathing. Mentally cursing the bastards responsible for this, he tried to close his eye in an attempt to fall asleep.
A few minutes passed and Slade suddenly stiffened when he felt weight on his side. Slade opened his eye and to his enormous surprise saw Dick snuggled comfortably on his side with his mouth minutely open a few millimeters and his eyebrows slightly furrowed.
The sight stirred something inside Slade.
Something Slade had not felt in many years.
Overprotectiveness. Love. Family.
Fatherhood.
Whatever it was Slade shook it off and he did his best to fall asleep.
It was late afternoon when Dick told the two former military men that he was ready to talk.
"Are you sure about this? You don't have to do it today. We can always postpone it." reassured him Wintergreen but the kiddo shook his head.
"If I don't do it today, I don't know if I would be able to do it in a few days." he admitted, biting his lip nervously.
"All right." Slade nodded and spoke in a calm voice. "Take your time to get started. We won't put any pressure on you."
Richard murmured a thank you and silence fell in the room. As promised by the mercenary, the two men waited patiently for several minutes in silence until the acrobat began to speak after taking a last, deep sigh.
"I am sure you already know that I was part of a circus, Haly Circus, and a family of acrobats known as the Flying Graysons." the two men nodded and Dick continued, his voice trembling and thick with emotion. "The circus stopped in Gotham for a show." Dick paused briefly and wiped away the tears that began to accumulate in his eyes.
"You don't have to relive those days, kiddo." Slade said softly, almost as if he feared hurting the kiddo with his words.
"I have to." said Dick solemnly, surprising them with his demonstration of mental strength and determination that they have never seen in a person, let alone one so young. "During the performance my parents were killed."
Wintergreen and Slade frowned in confusion, and the older man waited for Dick to quell his sobs slightly before asking the question. "I thought it was an accident."
Dick frantically shook his head. "It was not an accident. A man threatened Pop Haly, the circus director, and when he refused his offer he sabotaged the ropes of my parents' trapeze." he said, his voice turning from sad and anguished to more bitter and angry, and his golden eyes shone dangerously full of hatred and contempt.
Slade's frown deepened even more as he saw more tears streaming down the kiddo's so young face. "Do you remember the bastard's name?"
He was already thinking that the bastard would surely receive a kind visit from Deathstroke and what kind of death to give him.
Dick was silent for a couple of minutes and just when Slade was about to tell him that it was okay if he did not remember after all that he had been through the kiddo preceded him.
"Tony Zucco."
His voice was so dripping with anger, hatred, venom and contempt that it made the two men wince imperceptibly and they could not blame the kiddo at all.
"I don't remember much after... their deaths." Dick admitted, wiping away tears once again. "All I remember is that my great-grandfather introduced himself to me."
"Let me guess: your great-grandfather is a Talon?" guessed William easily.
Dick nodded. "William Cobb." Deathstroke mentally filed the name away. "And he offered me revenge for the death of my parents in exchange for going with him."
Suddenly he frowned deeply and assumed a contemplative look. Slade realized where his train of thought was headed, and an involuntary growl escaped his throat. "Don't even think about it, Dick. Nothing that's happened to you is your fault."
"If I had not accepted his offer-"
Slade interrupted him abruptly. "For heaven's sake Dick! You were a mere seven-year-old boy who had just watched his parents die right in front of him! You were broken in every way and that bastard took advantage of it!"
Wintergreen nodded in agreement. "And do you really think that if you had told him no he would have politely left?"
Dick remained silent. Slade hesitated before putting a hand on the kiddo's shoulder. The acrobat stiffened and the mercenary struggled against the urge to pull his hand away from his shoulder and instead squeezed it gently. "Nothing you have suffered is your fault. Understood?" he asked in a firm but gentle voice.
The Talon swallowed heavily at the former military man's intense gaze and after a few seconds found his voice again. "All right." he whispered softly.
Slade stared at him for another few seconds before nodding and letting his arm fall back along his side. "I suspect Cobb then took you to the base of the Court of Owls."
Richard stiffened at the mention of the organization that kidnapped and traumatized him for life and nodded.
"I don't understand why they took you of all people." Wintergreen intervened with a good question. "Besides the fact that you're related to one of them, that is."
"Because apparently I have a long line of ancestors who were Talon." Dick sighed and absentmindedly began fiddling with his hands, his face becoming expressionless. "And according to the Court I am destined to be not a Talon but The Talon, The Gray Son of Gotham, the most dangerous weapon in the world that will lead the Court of Owls to definitively conquer Gotham."
Slade cursed under his breath. "This is fucking messed up!"
Dick gave a bitter, wry smile. "They started torturing and training me brutally even before they turned me."
Slade and Wintergreen were shocked by this and soon shock turned to fury and anger at the highest level. The mercenary brought a fist to his mouth to prevent himself from releasing a series of expletives and insults that would further scar the kiddo and merely snarled deeply.
When it was obvious that Slade was too pissed off even to speak William intervened. "That explains your scars, I suppose." he said masking his sadness.
The acrobat briefly lowered his gaze in clear embarrassment and merely nodded before returning his gaze to his saviors. "Some of them come even after my transformation due to serious and fatal injuries to anyone else." he explained and then shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know how it works either."
"How did you escape from them?" asked Slade once he had partially regained his composure.
"They assigned me the mission to kill Batman, I was defeated by him and escaped because I was too afraid to go back to them. It was not something easy to do but I finally did it."
Slade arched an eyebrow, thinking those bastards were idiots for sending the kiddo -surely talented but still too young and inexperienced- to kill Batman.
"You did very well." Wintergreen nodded. "Then what happened?"
Dick shrugged his shoulders. "I lived on the streets for a few days." he began, surprising them. "It wasn't that bad but only because I didn't need to eat, drink and sleep at all. But then some Talons sent by them found me and I had to lose them."
"And finally you came to my hiding place."
"That was a fluke." Dick admitted.
The two men nodded and silence fell in the room, each lost in their own reflections. Finally after a few minutes that Dick spent nervously fiddling with his hands, he blurted out.
"What will happen to me?"
The two former military men simultaneously blinked and stared at him in confusion. "What do you mean?" asked the older man.
Dick began to fidget and never met the eyes of the two men as he began to stammer. "I mean, after all I've done-"
Slade, who began to sense the kiddo's line of thought, interrupted him. "You mean your kills?" he asked rather abruptly, almost regretting it when he saw the kiddo wince.
"Y-Yes, Master." said Dick, falling into old habits and then opening his eyes wide.
All three occupants of the room gasped at that. Slade took a long breath, hiding deep inside his own horrified feeling of the thing. "You don't have to apologize, kiddo. I don't expect you to stop calling me that after all you've been through." the super soldier reassured him.
Dick nodded gratefully, and Slade continued his previous speech.
"You cannot and should not feel bad about what you did. They brainwashed you, they-" Slade swallowed the anger that threatened to explode. "they abused you physically, emotionally and psychologically, they tortured and trained you mercilessly. They used you, kiddo."
"You think I don't know that?" Dick blurted out angrily. Then he assumed a horrified look after his little outburst and began stammering a series of excuses, stopping only when Slade raised a hand.
"Don't worry. Your anger is understandable."
"Not toward you though." muttered the last Flying Grayson.
Slade waved a hand dismissively. "It doesn't matter. I was saying that you are not responsible for your killings because you were not yourself at all, you were not in control of your body and your actions."
Nevertheless, Dick shrank back into himself, wrapping his arms around himself. "I still have the blood of my victims on my hands." he whispered as he began to cry silently.
"Oh Dick." Wintergreen opened his arms wide and after a brief hesitation Dick dived into them. The former soldier protectively encircled his arms around the acrobat's so tiny figure. "Slade is right, Dick. You are not responsible for what you did."
The next few minutes passed with Wintergreen continuing to whisper softly to Dick as he clung firmly to him and with Slade looking away, suddenly embarrassed and awkward. Eventually the Talon reluctantly turned away from Wintergreen and sent him a watery but genuine smile before turning to both men.
"So you're not going to send me away?" asked Dick softly, the uncertainty and vulnerability evident in his voice.
At that Slade's head snapped toward the kiddo, staring at him confused and surprised. "Why the hell would you think that?" he blurted out, resisting the urge to cringe under his friend's glare.
Dick curled in on himself. "Why did I kill?" it sounded more like a question than a statement and he hurried to explain, his voice growing more and more frantic. "The Masters used to give me targets and order me to kill them. Most of the victims belonged to Gotham's elite and middle class but often they would also order me to kill-" suddenly he paused, his eyes wide, his breathing became shaky and he began to fidget further.
"He's having a panic attack!" grunted Slade, who grabbed the kiddo by the shoulders. "Take deep breaths and-"
"I killed innocents!" cried Dick now hysterical with tears streaming down his pale face with dark veins. His golden eyes moved frantically from side to side as his sobs increased.
Slade's grip on her shoulders tightened slightly. "Listen to me kiddo-"
"I HAVE KILLED CHILDREN!"
Slade froze on the spot, completely horrified and shocked by those words. Dick stepped back until he hit a wall with his back and curled into a fetal position, tears streaming down like torrents and his body shot through with involuntary shivers.
"I didn't mean to... I swear... I didn't mean to..." cried Dick, curling up even more into himself, as if wishing to disappear from the world and all its atrocities.
Wintergreen had brought his hands to his mouth after that startling and shocking revelation. "Jesus Christ..." he muttered in disbelief.
Slade felt something break inside him at Dick's confession. His heart clenched painfully upon seeing the kiddo's so broken state.
After swallowing heavily Slade silently approached the Talon and without hesitation squatted down to the kiddo's level. He thought for a moment about how to act and what words to say. Eventually Slade pushed Dick's arms away from his face, thankful that he is not attacking him out of pure instinct, and found himself staring directly into destroyed, tear-filled golden eyes.
"It's not your fault." began Slade in a voice that was calm, low and firm but gentle at the same time. He continued after a brief hesitation, carefully choosing the words to say. "Everything you suffered and accomplished is the fault of those bastards. You had no control over your actions and you were forced to do their orders.
"All your killings, all the crimes you committed... it's their fault. Not yours. It's not your fault that you were brainwashed. It's not your fault that you killed children and innocents. Nothing at all is your fault. It is very important that you know this." Slade gently squeezed his shoulder. "I don't expect you to ever think about it again but I will be by your side throughout the healing process. I will not abandon you, Dick. That's a promise."
Dick pulled on his nose but the tears no longer flowed, which Slade took as a victory. "So c-can I stay with you? Even after everything I've done?"
Slade smiled: a genuine, sweet, gentle smile he hadn't made in many years now. "Of course." he said simply before assuming a more serious look. "Let me remind you that I am the most dangerous mercenary in the world. I have much blood of innocents on my hands and have committed deplorable deeds. I get paid to kill, to torture people to extract information from them that my clients want and much more." warned Slade.
Before he could add more he was preceded by the acrobat.
"But you've never killed a child." Dick whispered softly, staring at his own hands as if he could still see the children's blood on them.
Slade was stunned by the confident and unhesitating tone in which Dick uttered this, as if he had never doubted that the mercenary had ever killed a child.
"No, I never did." Slade confirmed. "But it's not your fault that you killed those children. It's their fault, not yours." he added quickly.
Dick remained silent.
"Are you sure you want to stay trapped with me?" asked Slade, confusing the kiddo.
"I thought I could stay with you."
"And indeed you can." nodded Slade. "I... I'm not very good at this kind of thing. Emotions, raising a child, etc." he admitted, waving his arms at random. "And I'm not the best role model either. I am the deadliest mercenary in the world: I have killed, tortured and maimed many people from criminals to innocents without distinction and I get paid for these deeds. I have done much worse things than yours just for money.
"I am giving you a choice and you can decide freely. Do you want to stay with me or do you want to grow up with foster parents who will be better than me? I will not be offended if you choose the second option, and I will personally make sure that they will be reliable and raise you with everything you need." reassured Slade, already feeling Wintergreen's shocked look on his back.
Dick stared in surprise at the super soldier, genuinely impressed. The answer came from his lips in seconds without any hesitation.
"I want to stay with you."
Slade smiled, actually surprised at how relieved and pleased he felt that Dick had made that choice.
Although he would never admit it to anyone even under torture, he had grown particularly fond of the kiddo and although he would keep his word (because the kiddo actually needed someone better than him to raise him, especially in a normal family) he would still remain sad.
"Then you'll be stuck with me for as long as you want, kiddo." Slade smiled, pleased when he heard him chuckle.
It was the first time he had heard his laughter and he liked the sound very much.
Slade stiffened when Dick suddenly hugged him, wrapping his arms around his neck and hiding his face on his shoulder. Once he got over his surprise he stiffly returned the hug, giving him a few awkward pats on the back.
"Thank you, Slade. Thank you for everything."