Wiz: Technology. It improves our lives, lets you watch cool shows on the Internet, and sometimes, it can help you to rival gods.
Boomstick: Like with Iron Man, the Armored Avenger.
Wiz: And Lex Luthor, arch-nemesis of Superman.
The young heroes know good and well about Lex Luthor. However, Iron Man was new to them, and they learned a little about him from Hawkeye's info.
"He might be a massive step up from Luthor," said Superman
"Anything is a step up if it compare to Luthor," said Robin
Boomstick: He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.
Wiz: There are the talented... there are the prodigies... and then, there's Anthony Edward Stark.
Boomstick: Please, he prefers Tony.
Wiz: Howard and Maria Stark ruled a $9 billion military-tech empire. They could have anything they ever wanted, except a child.
"Aw," said Miss Martian
Boomstick: Then Howard met AN ALIEN who decided to build a baby for them.
"And here we go," said Artemis
Wiz: Fearing humanity would perish to more advanced alien races, this child was genetically engineered to lead the world to a new tech age. But, that was Arno Stark. We don't speak of him... When Howard and Maria were disappointed with what they created, they adopted Tony instead.
"Huh?" said Kid Flash
"That was…something," said Aqualad
"And all that Tony was just adopted," said Robin
Boomstick: Yep, that's the secret origin to Tony Stark. Didn't see that comin', did ya?
Wiz: Despite not being the alien-engineered child of prodigy, Tony's gifted intelligence and world-changing destiny were obvious at an early age. He graduated from MIT with top honors, and a Physics and Engineering double major when he was just nineteen years old.
"Geez he would give Atom a run for his money," said Aqualad
Boomstick: But since this is a superhero origin, it wasn't long before tragedy struck. And by struck, I mean a car crash, and by tragedy, I mean his parents. So all of a sudden, Tony was an orphan. But on the bright side, it also made him the sole heir of Stark Industries. Nice.
Wiz: With the entire family fortune at his fingertips, Tony pursued a life of reckless indulgence and mechanical tinkering. War was his income, and he enjoyed every bit of it, until the day his eyes were opened.
Boomstick: Yeah! Opened with a shrapnel-filled irony bomb!
Tony sees a bomb with his company logo and attempts to get away from it, but it detonates, knocking him to the ground.
"Woah I guess he got a truth bomb," said Kid Flash
"Boo," said Artemis throwing a pen at Kid Flash
Wiz: Held captive by terrorists in Afghanistan, Tony learned the bomb left shrapnel in his heart, which would kill him in a week. The terrorists gave Tony an ultimatum: construct weapons for them and receive treatment, or be left to die.
"Oh my," said Miss Martian
Boomstick: But being Tony Stark, he chose door number three. He built a space-age pacemaker to save his own life, and then built a mech suit around it and murdered his way to freedom! This taught Stark one of life's most important lessons: heroes aren't born...
Tony places his suit's mask on a table.
Boomstick: They're built. A lesson that also made for a pretty sweet tagline.
"Heck yeah, it is," said Kid Flash
Tony: My turn.
Tony unleashes his wrist-mounted flamethrowers from his first Iron-man suit at the terrorists, then flies away during a huge explosion.
"Woah," said both Miss Martian and Robin
Wiz: But Tony's heart was changed in more ways than one that day. Upon returning to America, he nullified all weapons development at Stark Industries and dedicated his life to saving the world, in his own way.
Boomstick: Yeah, we're not talking, like, just donating to charity and being kind to your neighbor. Tony became a one-man army of justice and began creating a new and improved armored suit that the public would eventually dub... Iron Man, and then he made another one, and another one, and another, another, and then he made like, a shitload more!
Then showed an image of Tony with various Iron Man armors he built over the years.
"That's a ton of the armor," said Artemis
"Where did he get the time to do all that," said Miss Martian
"He is rich so," said Kid Flash, who shrugged
Wiz: The Iron Man suits are numerous, but they typically come with a common base set of tools. Generally composed of a gold-titanium alloy, his standard suits have the strength to lift up to one hundred tons, fly at supersonic speeds, and come with an onboard intelligence system called J.A.R.V.I.S., which controls his weaponry, and can summon other suits at his beck and call.
"That's cool," said Robin
"The technology is impressive," said Aqua Lad
Boomstick: And for good measure, these babies come loaded head-to-toe with weaponry, I'm talking shoulder-mounted darts, anti-tank missiles, an EMP, and the Iron Man staple: Laser beams!
Wiz: These repulsor blasts draw power directly from the reactor in Tony's chest -or chest piece, depending on the time period- to fire high-mass, negatively-charged muons as a concussive energy attack. Most commonly, these are fired from the palms of his suit.
Boomstick: But if the situation calls for a bit more firepower, he can blast an even larger beam directly from his chest piece. UNI-BEAM!
An image of Iron Man using his Uni-beam on a couple of robots.
"How does he get enough power to use that?" said Artemis
"Maybe his new heart," said Miss Martian
"That seemed complicated," said Superboy
Wiz: All of these features come standard in his most often used suit, Model 13: The Modular Armor.
Boomstick: This armor specializes in adaptability, allowing Tony to swap out its individual pieces for ones suited to the mission at hand. Oh, and it also has an extra casing known as Iron Man Armor Model 14, but you can just call it... Hulkbuster.
Wiz: As the name implies, this upgrade was built to contend with one of the universe's strongest beings. With a combination of magnetic and hydraulic technology, in addition to the strength of the modular armor, the Hulkbuster can deliver far more powerful punches, and hold its ground against the Incredible Hulk, who is strong enough to lift a 150 billion ton mountain!
Hulkbuster takes on Hulk street level.
"Woah," said Kid Flash
"That Hulk guy seemed very angry," said Miss Martian
"I would be too if I have to fight something that was made for me," said Robin
Boomstick: But his most advanced armor yet comes in the form of his Endo-Sym armor. Part metal, part scary space alien parasite, Tony can summon it telepathically, use it to imprison his foes, and even suck up electromagnetic fields. Mmmm... electricity.
"Weird thing to say afterward, Boomstick," said Kid Flash
Wiz: It can take hits from Storm's lightning, and shoot repulsor beams so powerful, they can injure metahumans who are normally able to absorb energy.
Boomstick: Although Tony is a mere man who finds himself fighting with and against unimaginably powerful beings, he has proven time and time again that technology can compete with the world's greatest superheroes.
"You got that right," said Robin
Wiz: He can survive blows from Thor's hammer, hold his own against Captain America, and move faster than an Extremis-enhanced superhuman's eye can track.
Boomstick: Not to mention, his suit can actually learn and predict its opponent's next move, and withstand the fury of several nuclear bombs! DO NOT underestimate the Golden Avenger.
Wiz: That being said, for all their power, the Iron Man suits are hardly flawless.
Boomstick: They've been known to malfunction in life-threatening ways, and consume too much power too quickly, leaving Tony helpless.
"Ha I knew it," said Artemis
Wiz: Tony frequently pushes his suit and his body to their absolute limits, and past them, and his reckless, head-first mentality is responsible for landing him in trouble just as much as it is for getting him OUT of it. This has led to him setting off a civil war between superheroes, and pissing off the all-powerful Phoenix Force into killing Charles Xavier.
"So not the best with extreme decisions," said Aqualad
"No kidding," said Kid Flash
Boomstick: What? Charles? But he's Iron Man.
Wiz: And, he once built a machine capable of releasing 20,000 megatons of atomic energy. That's three times more than all of the Earth's known nuclear weapons combined.
Boomstick: And then he just blasted it straight into the ground! All because he wanted to see what was at the Earth's core.
"Wow, just wow," said Kid Flash
"I didn't think a person would be crazy enough would do that in our world," said Robin
Wiz: It didn't work out. But Tony's most diabolical nemesis isn't the Mandarin, or even Ultron. It's his lifelong battle with alcoholism.
Boomstick opens a beer can.
Boomstick: Did you say something?
"Jerk," said Artemis
Ignoring the last comment by Boomstick. The team was impressed with Ironman's smarts and armor, but the downside was his ego. But they knew the next person had a bigger ego than him and not the hero by the slightest.
Wiz: Superman is among the most powerful people. He can destroy planets, withstand supernovas, and fly faster than light itself.
Boomstick: What kind of person could possibly be the arch-nemesis to someone like him? You'd have to be a god made of magic kryptonite-
Lex: WRONG!
Wiz: Nope. Just a mortal man with a passion for business, swindling, and green trench coats: Lex Luthor.
"And here we go," said Superboy
Wiz: Alexander Joseph Luthor began his rise to the top from the very bottom. As a child, he lived in a rundown section of Metropolis called the "Suicide Slum". Yes, it was that bad. Under abusive parents, it was only by sheer willpower that Lex moved on to a better life.
Boomstick: Yeah, willpower and some good old fashion Social Darwinism. His parents died in a car crash when their car's brakes failed, leaving Lex alone. Don't feel bad for a second! He used their life insurance money to get out of the ghetto and start his own company. And he's the one who rigged their brakes!
"Just like that, evil Lex was born," said Artemis
Wiz: Although founded through some... legally questionable means, the infamous LexCorp successfully spread its influence throughout all of Metropolis. In time, Lex came to practically run the city itself. Taking ownership of nearly every media outlet, Luthor's positive public image went practically unopposed.
Boomstick: But everything changed when the Man of Tomorrow showed up.
"Uh oh," said Miss Martian
"We know where this turns," said Superboy
"What would lead," said Aqualad
Wiz: In Lex's eyes, Superman was a massive issue for mankind. If humans no longer had to solve problems themselves, they would surely become a weaker race, completely dependent upon this otherworldly savior.
Boomstick: So Lex began his crusade to remove him from the equation, and then properly insert himself as the leader of humanity.
Wiz: Lex is a cunning strategist and mechanical genius who prefers to place his opponents in unwinnable situations. However, if physical strength is required, he dons the mighty Warsuit.
Cut to his intro in Injustice: Gods Among Us, where Lex landed on the arena in his Warsuit.
Lex: Must I remind you of my superiority?
Wiz: The Warsuit is a powerful battle armor created by Superman's other arch-nemesis, the alien god known as Darkseid, and it's been further enhanced by Luthor's own designs.
Boomstick: Forged in the fiery pits of Apokolips, Lex's Warsuit is no ordinary piece of machinery. Despite its less than sleek appearance, it comes equipped with force fields, gauntlet blades, a giant kryptonite ax, and energy blasts powered by kryptonite generators.
"Where did he get all of that kryptonite?" said Kid Flash
"He'srich, remember," said Robin
"And how did even get that armor in the first place," said Aqua lad
Wiz: It can also fly and has enough strength and durability to go up against Superman himself.
Boomstick: Despite how capable the Warsuit is, you may feel it has an obvious weak spot: the giant hole where his head is! But ol' cueball's chrome dome is actually protected by an invisible force field. He just wants his opponents to know exactly who's beating the shit out of them.
Lex: Hello Sunshine!
Wiz: Lex's weaponry goes beyond an alien metal suit. In addition to his brilliant strategic mind, he's also surrounded the Earth with dozens of satellites bearing his name.
Boomstick: Their purpose? A giant game of space laser hot potato.
Lex's satellite fires a laser that he holds with his hand and throws it at Superman
Wiz: Being a genius multimillionaire, it's no surprise Lex's accomplishments match the expectations. He's equaled Deathstroke in combat, stabbed Supergirl, snapped Brainiac's neck, and defeated Power Girl in a single stroke.
Boomstick: You can't blame him. I don't think anyone could handle more than a single stroke with Power Girl-
"Gross," said Artemis and Miss Martian
But something both Wiz and Boomstick got Superboy to ask "Who's PowerGirl and Supergirl?"
"I think multiverse," said Kid Flash
"We really need to show the league this," said Aqualad
Wiz: However, Lex is not solely dependent on his Warsuit. He sometimes subjects himself to a Kryptonite steroid which has made him much stronger than an ordinary human. Capable of surviving wounds nobody reasonably should.
"What?!" said all of the heroes
Boomstick: Yeah, like the time when a giant gorilla shot him in the chest with a sniper rifle, knocking him out of a helicopter off the edge of a cliff and landing headfirst into a canyon. He was up and banging his robot chick in like a day! Oh, yeah he built a robot version of Lois Lane for, you know... sex and murder.
"Again, gross," said Artemis
Wiz: Because Lex always wants what he cannot have, and his know-how with robotics goes past insane and into absurd. While confined to a prison cell, he built a talking, flying robot that reads Moby Dick at such a high frequency it carved out an escape route through the floor itself. Including perfectly shaped stairs.
Boomstick: But most diabolical of all, when no one was looking, Lex Luthor took forty cakes. He took 40 cakes, Wiz! That's as many as four tens. And that's terrible.
"You can't be serious," said Kid Flash
"It has to be joke," said Superboy
Wiz: Strange thing is, that's... actually... officially... canon.
Boomstick: Bastard!
"I…just what," said Superboy
Boomstick: Luthor's hatred of Superman and drive to win are stronger than any machine he can create. Take for example the time Superman threw a satellite at LexCorp tower, bringing the building down on top of poor ol' Lex. This left the guy with half his face ripped off, all four limbs blasted away, and he was impaled in five different places. Even like that, he still refused Superman's help. Wiz, if that ever happens to me, do me a solid and... kill yourself in front of me so that my dream of outliving you is complete.
Wiz: Never gonna happen. But it's also that same cocky independence that serves as Lex's greatest downfall. When he merged with the Zone Child-
"Huh?" said Miss Martian
Boomstick: Woah!
Wiz: ...It's not what you think. He gained, and I quote, "Infinite Power."
Boomstick: And a secure spot on somebody's watchlist.
"Ha," Kid Flash
Wiz: The only catch was that he could not use his powers to harm others. But because all he wanted to do was kill Superman, he tried it anyway.
Boomstick: So Superman just straight up punched the god out of him!
Wiz: Well, that's hardly accurate.
Boomstick: C'mon, how else would you describe that?
Wiz: ...fair enough. Even so when the Earth is threatened, you can count on Lex Luthor to look his enemies in the eye and fight for his people, and then exploit the hell out of them afterward.
"Yep," said Robin
"Pretty much," said Kid Flash
Lex: You know what happens when you take on Lex Luthor?
Lex takes several shots at Parasite, before kicking it when the gun runs out of ammo.
Lex: The same thing that's gonna happen to Superman!
It was no question that heroes were going to root for Iron man instead of Lex but will he win?
At a warehouse in Stark Industries, Lex takes out one of Tony's guards with a laser pistol. He then uses a scanner and finds a large black box and is attacked by another guard. His force field deflects the guards' bullets and then shoots him.
"He usually get someone else to break in and take something," said Robin
It then cuts to Tony working on another Iron Man suit.
J.A.R.V.I.S.: Sir, we have a visitor.
Tony sees Lex on the security monitor and looks back at a crystal he has as the alarms go off.
Lex: All clear.
Lex opens the black box and finds Dragon Balls, a Keyblade, and a powerful crystal in it.
Lex: (Laughing) What a joke.
He takes the crystal as Iron Man flies in.
Tony: Hands off, badly! What's that you got there?
Lex turns around holding the crystal.
Tony: Oh yeah!
Tony blasts the crystal out of Lex's hand.
"And here comes the fight," said Artemis
Tony: It's mine. I'll send you the bill.
Lex summons the Warsuit and gets into it.
J.A.R.V.I.S.: Actually sir, I should probably remind you. The contents of this warehouse belong to Miss Potts.
Tony: Pepper?
J.A.R.V.I.S.: I'll forward the estimated damages fee to her account.
"I'm guessing that's a friend of his," said Miss Martain
"Sounds like it," said Superboy
Tony: Great. Be discrete about it.
J.A.R.V.I.S.: One of us has to be.
Luthor laughs as he flies towards Stark and activates his force fields.
Lex: Remember my face, Stark. It'll be the last thing you ever see.
FIGHT!
Iron Man and Luthor charge towards each other and shoot their repulsors, clashing with each other as Luthor pushes Stark back. Iron Man tries shooting his repulsor blasts at Lex but they do not penetrate his force field. He launches his missiles but Luthor uses his shield as the missiles cause more damage to more of the artifacts in the area.
J.A.R.V.I.S.: His systems are confusing my targeting, also adding two million to your charges.
Tony: Not now J.A.R.V.I.S.! What do we got here?
J.A.R.V.I.S.: I am having difficulty determining the suit's alloy. Alien perhaps?
While he's talking, Iron Man tries punching Luthor multiple times, but nothing seems to be working.
"Thats' not going to work," said Aqua lad
Lex: Hahaha! My suit is invincible!
Iron Man charges up his repulsor blasts and aims for Luthor's head.
Tony: How about this part?
He fires it resulting in an explosion, but it still doesn't phase Luthor as he grabs Stark and slams him around. Luthor crushes Iron Man's leg while holding him upside down.
"Ouch," said Miss Martain
Lex: I thought you were smart.
Tony: Hey, you're the one who looks like a giant, rusty trash can with legs. No judging!
"Ha I'm really liking Iron man," said Kid Flash
"What about Johnny Cage?" said Artemis
"He's second place now."
Luthor slams him again and tosses him into a Gundam seen in the room which destroys more stuff.
J.A.R.V.I.S.: Sir, I estimate that will be a 583 million dollar fee.
Tony: Woah! Woah! Woah! That one's on him!
Lex takes out his Kryptonite ax and swings it at Iron Man, who dodges it and uses his force field. Lex laughs as he unleashes a laser on most of the room while Tony blocks it.
Tony: Here we go! Activate the EMP!
Iron Man's EMP spreads to a far range and affects Luthor's suit.
Lex: What? Impossible!
Tony: All right! Come to Mama! Heave Ho!
Iron Man picks up the Batmobile and tosses it at Lex.
"How did the Batmobile end up there?" said Robin
"Maybe this Pipper person bought it," said Miss Martian
"Not likely."
Lex: Wait, is that the...?
Before he can say what it was, Lex slices it in half with his ax, causing it to explode.
J.A.R.V.I.S.: That one might actually make a dent in your wallet.
Tony: What are you talking about? It's just a car.
Tony then sees everything about the price of the Batmobile.
"Yeah, there's a lot of things goes into the Batmobile," said Robin
"Where does Batman get the money?" said Kid Flash
"I can't say."
Tony: Seriously? What kind of car was that? Where do I get one of those?
Lex then tosses the box that contains the Hulkbuster armor at Stark.
Lex: Wake up, sunshine...
J.A.R.V.I.S.: Watch your left.
Iron Man is unable to react in time and the box sends him crashing outside the warehouse into the city. Lex flies out of the warehouse and takes out his axe.
Lex: Thanks for the fun, Stark. It was... smashing.
Tony then breaks out of the box wearing the Hulkbuster armor.
Tony: No problem, pal! Thanks for the suit.
"There we go, bringing out the big gun," said Superboy
They charge at each other. Luthor swings the axe, but Tony is able to crush the blade. Iron Man starts punching Luthor, but Luthor's able to counter them. The two then proceed to punch at one another, countering blow-for-blow, before one final punch from each knocks them back. Iron Man boosts forward afterward and grabs Luthor, then flies upward and drags Lex Luthor through a building. Lex attempts to escape, but Iron Man pushes him back with one hand and continues until Lex is forced through the roof. Iron Man flies upward while Lex is in mid-air, charging his hand, then blasts Lex downward to the streets near a gas station.
"Woah," said Miss Martian and Robin
After Iron Man lands, he runs forward toward Lex, who has just gotten back up. Lex charges as well towards Iron Man and the two grab each other, with Lex's arms charging with green energy. Both stand their ground, to which Lex begins to laugh. The green energy courses through the Hulkbuster suit, and Iron Man is pushed back.
"Not good," said Aqua lad
J.A.R.V.I.S.: That current damaged your battery. Power is at 15% and dropping fast.
Lex Luthor's shield emerges around him as J.A.R.V.I.S. speaks to Tony.
J.A.R.V.I.S.: I recommend a new plan of attack.
Tony: I have a plan: Attack!
"That's not going work," said Artemis
"Nope," said Superboy
Tony tries punching down Luthor's force field as the villain laughs.
J.A.R.V.I.S.: Power at 10%.
Lex: You call that power? Ha! You are nothing!
Tony: J.A.R.V.I.S., reroute all power to the arm and leg hydraulics.
Lex: I have seen true power, you are nothing more than another ant to crush under my-
Tony breaks through the force field, surprising Lex Luthor.
Lex: How about that?
Seeing that he's broken through, Tony charges up a punch.
Tony: Good night cueball!
Lex catches Tony's punch as the Hulkbuster shuts off.
Tony: What's going on?
J.A.R.V.I.S.: We're out of power.
"Of course he ran out of power," said Artemis
Tony: Ugh, figures.
Luthor starts setting up coordinates for his satellite, preparing his large laser.
Lex: Fool, you're just like all the rest. Building a suit to save the world, trying to play God.
Lex holds the large laser in his hand and prepares to throw it at Stark.
Lex: Let me tell you something Stark! There's only one man in the world that's fit to play such a role!
Luthor then throws the charged attack at Stark, causing a large explosion and sending Stark into a building. Lex flies forward.
"That's really got to hurt," said Miss Martian
Lex: ME.
The team groaned at that remark
Tony's Endo-Sym armor then assembles before Lex's eyes to help the fallen hero, loosening the rubble.
Tony: I don't know, Lex.
Iron Man breaks out of the rubble in his new suit.
Tony: Being a god can't be too hard. I mean, I'm the most intelligent and capable person on the planet. I'm not playing God. All this time... I've been playing human.
"Now that was cool," said Robin
"Yep," said Kid Flash
Iron Man charges at Lex full speed, breaking through his shield and knocking him back. Lex tries throwing a large Kryptonite explosion at Tony, but Iron Man absorbs the power. Lex then tries using flamethrowers on his foe, but Iron Man dodges all of it and grabs Luthor's arms.
Tony: I'll take this!
Iron Man then absorbs a lot of energy from Luthor's suit, significantly powering it down.
Lex: What? What did you take?
Tony: Everything.
Tony charges up the power and breaks Lex out of his suit. He tosses Lex towards the street through a building and then tosses him back up into the air.
Tony: Here's the big one!
Iron Man unleashes a large Uni-beam attack that disintegrates Lex, killing him. Tony then lands on the ground as a building near him collapses.
Superboy grinned, "I like that very much."
Tony: That was Pepper's building wasn't it?
J.A.R.V.I.S.: Phone call from Miss Potts.
"Oh no," said Kid Flash
"Someone is in big trouble," said Miss Martian
Tony: Tell her I'm not here, I'm uh, jogging!
J.A.R.V.I.S.: Already answered, sir.
Pepper: Tony?
Tony: Uh, hi Pepper! How are you?
Pepper: Why did J.A.R.V.I.S. just deposit five billion dollars for—
A part of the Gundam collapses near Tony.
Pepper: —collateral damage?
Tony: I'm not here. I'm... jogging.
Tony hangs up the call and flies off.
KO
Boomstick: Bullseye!
Wiz: Both Tony and Lex possessed incredible pieces of technology, but only one was naturally prepared for anything. Although it's true that Lex could trade blows with Superman in his Warsuit, the only reason he lasted as long as he did is because many of its weapons are based on Kryptonite. Great for battling Kryptonians, only okay against everybody else.
"Yeah, it was useless against someone like Iron man," said Aqua lad
Boomstick: Yes, the Warsuit could take hits from Superman, making it more than a match for even the Hulkbuster's power, but, even against the very enemy it was designed to kill, the Warsuit only lasts so long.
Wiz: Iron Man's greatest advantage was being able to adapt his strategy by remotely summoning and changing suits. The Endo-Sym, in particular, could counter nearly anything Lex could throw at it.
Boomstick: Plus, Iron Man has far more actual combat experience. Lex treated physical combat as a last resort, beneath him, while Tony straight up enjoys it. Lex just wasn't suited for this battle.
Wiz: The winner is Iron Man.
The team was happy that Iron man won the Death Battle against Lex Luthor. Then the next episdoe was playing and before Aqua lad could turn the TV off the next episode got the team hooked.
Hint: Leather Jacket, sun glasses, and accents Vs. Robot voice, spining pistol, and the brain of a human