Chapter 2

The rest of the night was spent in the living area, drinking and talking about old experiences. The cupcake parade float, the Diddly-Bops, the infamous sleepover at Sikowitz' place. Jade's date, Luke, seemed to love hearing all about her crazy experiences at Hollywood Arts. He didn't contribute enough to the conversation for me to say anything about him. Not even what he does for a living.

I dragged myself up to bed around two in the morning, later than Tori, but earlier than anyone else. I would've tried to stay up later, but my day had began with an impromptu trip into work, to make sure all my projects were being managed by one of the interns. It's a wonder I was one of the first to reach the cabin. During the few times I woke partway up, I listened to everyone make their way to their rooms, until the place was dead quiet, allowing me to sleep more deeply.

I woke around half past ten. Throwing on something warm, I left my room and nearly tripped over someone's bag. I hopped over it as Jade stumbled out of her room, makeup smeared, a hand on her head. She put a finger up. "Ssh!"

"Hungover?"

"Not so loud." She tiptoed into the bathroom and quietly shut the door.

Walking softer, I took the stairs slowly. Reaching the door, I found Tori sitting at the breakfast table with Andre, the former sipping on coffee while the latter took a phone call. Tori smiled, her voice low. "There's dark roast over there."

I poured a cup and sat at the table just as Andre ended his call. He sighed. "Nearly got called into work."

"I'm surprised you could get time off at all. Aren't you working with Lady Gaga on her new album?"

"Was." Andre took Tori's cup and chugged it. "My new project is something for Sia."

"That's the big time, isn't it? She writes a ton of original songs." Tori smiled brightly, clearly a morning person. Or, maybe she's just happy to be around Andre. Her upbeat mood got Andre to smile, too.

"Yeah, I guess it is." Andre glanced at me. "How are you awake, already?"

"Same reason you two are. I didn't have more than a beer. I'm pretty sure I saw Jade doing shots with Luke right as I went to bed."

"Jade did shots, Robbie had a martini and immediately threw it up and I think Cat had a hard cider." Tori ticked everyone's drinks off on her fingers.

"I'm just gonna take a walk." I inched towards the door.

"I'll go." Tori stood.

I smiled. "And if I decide to run part of the trail?"

She sank back down. "Have fun."

Slipping on my black cotton jacket, I zipped it up and let myself out. The mid morning sun poked through the trees, bringing much needed warmth to the area. I circled around the cabin, put my headphones in and hit the trail I'd spotted while walking to the bonfire. About five minutes in, I broke into a jog.

I got into this habit while seeing Sarah. She was a health nut the way only someone who's lived in West Hollywood their whole life can be. While no one will ever get me to seriously consider vegetarianism, the lone runs have become one of my favorite outlets. Not the same way music or writing can be, but definitely something I'm happy to do.

I circled around a bend so fast, I almost missed the black bear crossing the trail. I skid to a stop, freezing in my tracks. It paused from its spot twenty feet away, sizing me up. I carefully pulled my bear spray out of my pocket, not wanting to make any sudden movements. To my relief, the bear turned around and waddled back into the woods, saving me from having to confront it.

When I could no longer hear or see it, I spun around and sprinted back the way I came. I pocketed the bear spray as I reached the cabin. I was partway across the yard when I spotted movement through the trees. I relaxed as I registered red hair. I circled around the trees, finding Petra hanging a few pieces of clothing from a line. I pulled out my earbuds.

"Hey."

She startled like the first time I saw her, dropping the basket on her hip. I ran forward to help her pick everything up, apologizing.

"Don't be sorry." She blushed. "I need to pay more attention. There's supposedly bears around here."

"There are." I grimaced. "One said hi not even ten minutes ago."

She gave a short laugh. "You're braver than me. I'm still not sure why Jason thought I'd enjoy honeymooning here. Well...I think it was his idea of helping me feel more at home."

"Is this place anything like Seattle?"

She grinned, seemingly pleased I remembered the detail. "Nothing at all. The weather here is all over the place. The area outside Seattle is always crisply cold in Autumn. The leaves actually change throughout the year and I know it well enough to avoid the areas with bears."

"Then, why'd you move back?" I couldn't help but ask. I handed her back the basket. She finished putting clothes on the line in silence before answering the question.

"I had a falling out with my mom." She sighed. "I figured, since Sam liked California so much, I'd try moving here, again. It's how I met Greta and Jason."

"Has the move been worth it?" We slowly walking towards her front door. When she sat on the porch, I sat beside her.

"Yes..?"

"That didn't sound convincing."

"It's not." She buried her face in her hands for a moment before looking up. "It's been hard...But, I feel more connected to Sam. It feels like my mom spent the last decade trying to forget him."

"I guess people handle pain differently." I didn't know what else to say. Other than losing my grandmother, who I was never close to, I've never experienced loss like Petra.

"It's not about how she handled her pain as much as how she refused to let anyone else handle theirs. Anything that brought his memory to life was punished...She couldn't handle it."

She whispered the words before falling into an uneasy silence. I tried to think of something to say as a squirrel running through the yard distracted me. "You know...Sam liked squirrels. I remember that much."

Her mouth twitched. "He did. He found a nest of them, you know, when he was ten. He tried to take one of the babies. The mother about blinded him trying to stop him."

"Sounds about right."

She let out a shaky breath. Glancing at me, she curled her legs up and wrapped her arms around them.

"I'm sorry. I'm sure I haven't asked anything about you, yet." She relaxed her posture, her smile much easier. "Did you ever get into that performance arts school you talked about?"

"I did. Hollywood Arts. I went four years."

"Did you find anything in your field?" She met my eyes. In the warm light, I could clearly see every individual shades of green in her eyes. They're less moss green and more like tourmaline, complete with the facets.

"I had an internship for a while. It took a few years, but I did get a paying gig helping write and edit scripts."

She nudged my knee with hers. "So, you did. What about Jade? Or, do you not talk at all?"

"We really don't talk at all. I'm pretty sure that's why Tori chose this campsite in the middle of the woods...To make us all talk to each other." I shook my head head. "Admittedly, it's working."

"Did all your friends go to that school?"

"We all did."

We fell into another silence as we both struggled to come up with something else to say. The real question on my mind is...why did we kiss? I opened my mouth, only for her to beat me to it.

"Don't ask. I really don't know."

"How did you—?" I began to ask, only to choke on my words as she leaned in.

"Nevermind. You were gonna." She dropped her gaze to our hands, leaning on the stone next to each other. Our heads brushed against each other as I did the same. "I clearly have some things to sort out."

"I understand." I stared at her a little too long, hoping she'd look back at me. When she did, the atmosphere seemed to shift. I swallowed. "For what it's worth...You were my first crush."

She smiled. Leaning forward, she kissed me gently, carefully. Like she was trying to figure out if it's okay on several levels. I kissed her back, instinctively reaching up to hold her face in my right hand. The other took her hand. When we pulled back, her eyes remained half closed. She instinctively brushed her hair out of the way.

I reached through her copper hair and cupped her face, bringing her in for another kiss. Whatever hesitation she projected earlier seemed to vanish as she kissed back. Her arms snaked up my shoulders and locked around my neck. We were so lost in the moment, neither of us noticed Greta come to stand at the screen door until she cleared her throat.

"Am I interrupting?"

We broke apart so quickly, I nearly fell off the porch. Leaning back on the railing, I gave Petra's friend an apologetic smile. "You must be Greta."

"And you're Beck." She smirked before looking to Petra. "So, the laundry's done? I finished making breakfast. Should I set an extra plate?"

Petra wiped her bottom lip. "Uh, you hungry?"

"Yeah." I got up and helped Petra to her feet, looking for any reason to prolong the visit. Inside, I sat at a nook similar to the one in the other cabin, though with a mirrored layout. A plate of thin pancakes with golden brown outer edges was sat in front of me.

"Some of them might be a little burnt. Just eat around them." Greta sat across from me, her brows raised as she observed us, clearly amused. Petra and I kept our attention on our plates. I didn't even have the guts to look directly at her for the whole meal.

Afterward, we hovered around the door. While Petra seemed to be sticking close to me, Greta began to look a little frustrated. Getting the hint, I opened the door. "I better check in with everybody. They might think a bear ate me."

"See you later?" Petra stepped around Greta, to see me outside.

"Anytime. You know where I am." I pulled out my phone and handed it to Petra. "Give me your number."

She put it in. Taking the phone back, I snapped a quick picture of her, to add to her contact. She blushed. She looked over her shoulder, at Greta. "Don't take her mood personally. She thinks I'm crazy to jump into something so soon."

The sobering reality started to creep in. "How long ago did you call off your engagement."

"About two months ago. I started out planning to stay here for the two weeks my ex booked it. I just keep extending it."

I noticed immediately that she referred to him as her ex, instead of by his name, like she usually does. "If you hate the place, why stay?"

She frowned, her eyes avoiding mine. "Personal reasons."

I did want to ask. Another firm look from Greta had me backing down the stairs. Petra stayed by the door. "I'll call you, okay? We can...I don't know...Go check out the trails. Try to not get eaten by bears, together."

Petra smirked. "It's a date."

She slipped inside the door, leaving me outside alone. I reluctantly returned to the cabin. Tori and Andre had gone to sit in the living room with a newly awake Cat. Cat looked upset about something. Tori gave me a confused look.

"What happened?" I sat by Cat and threw an arm around her. She looked about ready to cry.

"Well..." Tori began.

"I don't want to marry Robbie." Cat whispered.

"You know?"

She hid her face in her red velvet hair and nodded. "I found the ring."

"Ah..." I winced on Robbie's behalf. I didn't expect Cat's reaction to be so...negative. "Why not? You can tell us."

She shrugged, throwing her arms up before letting them plop down in her lap. "I don't know...It's just..."

She struggled for several seconds to answer before giving up. Tori tried to guess. "Is it because you want more time?"

She shook her head. Andre tried to guess, next. "Is it because you're nervous?"

"No." Cat sighed, starting to get frustrated.

"Is it Rex?" Andre asked, again.

"No, he retired Rex." Cat seemed to find comfort in that, at least. "It's...Robbie."

"Do you not...Like him anymore?" I asked the question quietly, carefully. It seems too loaded.

"I don't know!" Standing up, Cat stumbled out of the living area and ran upstairs.

Tori, Andre and I shared confused looks. What could possibly have her ready to run for the hills? As far as anyone could tell, Cat adores Robbie. What changed? Maybe, it's something Cat can only sense, not necessarily articulate.

"Maybe, it's cold feet?" Tori frowned. "I'd hate to think she actually doesn't want to be with Robbie, anymore. They're so cute together."

"Either way, we gotta help them both through this." Andre sighed. "One of the cons of forcing everyone to communicate is it may lead to some bad conversations."

Tori looked close to tears. "This isn't what I wanted. I just want us all to spend time together, like we used to."

"Tori..." I took her hands. "...This isn't high school, anymore. We're not who we were. We can't pretend that we are."

"Does it have to be so different?" Tori finally did start crying. "If Cat breaks up with Robbie and you never talk to Jade again, what's left? We're watching the end of our friendships."

"That's not true." Andre turned Tori to face him. "We'll all still talk. We'll still be around each other. It'll just be different. And I'm still here. I love being around you."

I found myself inching away, trying to give them a moment, only for Tori to notice. "Wait. Don't go."

She wiped her face with her sleeve. I shared a look with Andre. "I was gonna take a shower after my run. You two talk."

I squeezed Tori's shoulder and headed upstairs. I took extra time showering and picking out some clothes, wanting Andre to have plenty of time to potentially broach the subject of his feelings. When I finally returned to the living room, everyone was awake. Robbie looked too happy to know about Cat's second thoughts. Jade appeared to still be mildly hungover. Luke seemed fine.

"No more shots." Tori said softly.

"Agreed." Jade pulled up her hood and tightened the drawstrings.

"There's supposed to be music and food at the recreation center until six, when they'll relight the bonfire." Tori explained to everyone. "Who's game?"

"No music." Jade settled into the couch.

"Want me to stay back with you, babe?" Luke asked her. Jade seemed to cringe.

"No, you go. I wanna be alone."

He shrugged. "Sure. Suit yourself."

Luke didn't hesitate to leave. Sharing looks, we all eventually opted to leave Jade to rest. Heading down to the lake, we took a right at the main campgrounds and entered the recreation center. We separated to check out the various amenities, including a buffet, arcade, sauna and an indoor heated pool.

By six, most everyone had left for the bonfire. As I exited the bathroom, I found Andre waiting for me near the main doors. "I need advice."

"Sure. What's up?"

He grimaced. "Should I go talk to Jade while we have this chance to be alone?"

"She's hungover. She'll probably kill you to shut you up." I pointed out. Pulling my jacket back on, I looked past him, out the doors, wondering if Petra's already there.

Andre nodded somberly. "Yeah...I guess now's not the time."

I pointed at Tori, who was waiting about ten feet from the doors. "She seems like she wants to talk."

"Yeah." He smiled. Whether Andre realizes it or not, only one girl makes him light up the way he seems to want. Tori.

We left the recreation center together. Reaching Tori, I was about to keep walking when she caught my sleeve. "Can we talk?"

Andre raised a brow. "Uh...Guess I'll see you two later."

He backed away a few steps before turning around and disappearing in the crowd. I looked at Tori. "Something wrong?"

"Actually, it's Jade."

"Is she okay? I'm pretty sure the camp shop sells painkillers."

"Yeah, she's fine." Tori smiled awkwardly. "Actually, she doesn't really have a hangover anymore. She texted me, asking if I could get you to talk to her."

"Really?" I frowned. "Why?"

She shrugged. "Maybe, she wants to make amends. Apologize for everything that happened."

I looked past her, still searching for Petra. When I didn't spot her, I sighed. "Is this really necessary? I don't hold anything against her."

"Please? For me, at least. It'll make the week easier...Don't give me that look. She's not gonna attack you."

"You don't know that." An old, familiar chill went down my spine. Mild adrenaline pumped through my veins, like I'm preparing for a fight. "...Alright. I'll talk to her. You should talk to Andre. He had something he forgot to mention."

Tori jumped up and hugged me. "Thanks!"

She spun around and headed towards the fire, eyes out for Andre. I hopped from one foot to the other, trying to shake out the nervous energy, before heading back. I think this would've been an easier fight yesterday, when I was mentally prepared.

Back at the cabin, I stepped in and found Jade still on the couch. She'd removed her jacket at some point, revealing a tight dress with mid length sleeves. She stood up slowly.

Whatever my mind figured we'd be talking out seemed to be off the table as she circled around the room to me. I took a reflexive step back. "You wanted to talk?"

She crossed her arms. "You don't have to look so freaked out. I'm not wanting to fight."

I tried to relax. "I'm sorry. Habit."

"Am I really so combative?" She looked away, eyes narrowed.

I thought my words through carefully, trying my best not to tick her off. "After the way we left things...I figured a fight might make sense."

"And we did fight. At graduation." She pointed out. Her frustration seemed to go. "I'm apologizing, okay?"

The apology I wanted that night, five years ago, finally came. But, in that time, it's ceased to be something I need. "I forgave you years ago, Jade."

"Did you?" She stepped forward, closer than she's been since she was my girlfriend. "You seem like you'd rather be anywhere else? Am I reading you wrong?"

The reality hit me like a ton of bricks. She... "Are you trying to get back together?"

She bit her lip and nodded. "Why not?"

I took another step back, my mind racing. "Luke?"

"I just invited him to make you jealous." She let out a heavy breath. "He knows I came here for you."

I kept mentally checking through reasons to get her to back off, physically backing up in the process. Jade kept closing the gap, till my back was to the wall. I shut my eyes tightly as I realized the truth was the only way to get out of this. Opening them, I fixed her with a firm stare.

"Jade, I don't...want this...want us. I haven't in four years."

She looked like I'd just dumped cold water over her head. She backed up, giving me space. "What..? Why?"

Her tone sharpened. I strongly considered fleeing the cabin.

"Five years isn't nothing." I really did try to explain, but nothing else sounded right in my head.

"No, it isn't. We dated five years, too." She snapped.

"Jade, you don't even know me, anymore." I circled around her, to get a bit closer to the door.

"Yes, I do. You're Beck. You're my Beck." She stormed forward.

I grabbed her shoulders, keeping her at a distance. "But, I'm not. I'm not that stupid kid trying to prove something by keeping our relationship alive. I'm just...not."

I thought I saw the shimmer of tears in her eyes. They vanished as she narrowed them. Pushing me away, she turned on her heel and stormed outside.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, finally able to relax. I sat in an armchair and buried my face in my hands.

It took several minutes to pull myself together and get the adrenaline rush to settle. I didn't return to the bonfire. Heading up to my room, I put on music and texted Petra.

Message:

Hey, it's Beck. -Beck

Message:

Hey! I don't see you. Where'd you run off to? -Petra

Message:

The bonfire is a hot zone for confrontation. -Beck

Message:

Want me to come by? I'm sure I can ditch my babysitter. -Petra

Message:

Greta still not like me? -Beck

Message:

It's not that she dislikes you. Just give her time to warm up. -Petra

Message:

Will she need to? -Beck

Message:

I'll be there in five -Petra

I hopped off the bed and put my music player away. I was halfway down the stairs when I stopped in my tracks...I may be long over Jade, but Petra...I think something real could be there. I never thought this week would turn out this way.

I took the rest of the stairs slowly. I waited on the porch, my eyes scanning the tree for her red hair. The sky overhead darkened as clouds rolled in. I prayed it didn't rain just yet. I want a little time with her before the house is full, again.

She slipped right through the treeline, a wide smile on her face. She ran across the lawn, up the stairs and straight into my arms. I nearly fell over, surprised.

"It's not been that long—."

She kissed me, cutting me off. "It's hard to get time away from Greta."

"Is she that worried?"

Petra grimaced. "I'll explain later, if you really wanna know the whole story. In the mean time, I wanted to show you something."

She pulled away, taking just my hand. We walked down the steps and circled the cabin, to the trail I'd seen the bear. I kept an eye out as we walked a ways. Before we even reached the bend, she veered off into the trees, heading downhill, towards a rock bed. Following it for five or so minutes, we came to a stop in front of a screened in deck, set up with a fire pit and some wrap-around couches. A small pond took up about ten feet of the clearing, filled with lily pads, minnows and frogs.

We stepped under the roof. "This is cool. When did you find it?"

"After you left. Greta and I went on a walk."

I sat on one of the couches, pulling her beside me. "Trying to get me alone?"

"It seems to be working." She smirked.

Thunder rumbled overhead, announcing the arrival of the storm. The air filled with the scent of rain. "I figured. I was a little worried the bonfire would get rained out while you visited. Everyone would have come back."

"Now, who's trying to get who alone?" Her playful smile strained. "Or, are you hiding me from your ex?"

I took her hand. "It's not that...Jade is all over the place, right now. She brought a guy with her, but also tried getting back together with me."

The smile returned. "And you turned her down. You must like me. I saw her at the bonfire. She's beautiful."

"You're beautiful." I said and I meant it. Having Jade try to rekindle something freaked me out. In the moment, I wondered if the drama would end up sending Petra running. Having her know and still stay... "I do really like you. Please don't worry about Jade. I don't want to scare you off."

"You're not." She leaned back against the couch with me, our shoulders touching, eyes on each other. "So long as you're not scared off."

"I'm not. I just wonder...Being close enough to want to marry someone is kind of a big deal. Are you sure you're not rushing?"

"Rushing was agreeing in the first place." She stared out at the clearing as it began to rain. "But, that was how Jason was. Everything had to happen at his pace. He didn't actually plan to leave me when he dumped me. It was for show. A way to freak me out, get me to take the ring back."

"That's not healthy."

"No, it's not."

We both sat quietly for a while, enjoying the rain and the atmosphere it created. I tucked her hair behind her ear, to better see her face. "If it's time you need, I'm not here to rush you. This goes at your pace."

She smiled. "I'm not worried."

She took one of my hands in hers and leaned on my shoulder. I rested my head on hers, trying to keep my heart rate in check. I could see a smile forming out of the corner of my eye, letting me know I'm failing miserably.

"If you can't tell, I'm happy to be here." I blushed.

She pulled my head down and kissed me. I kissed her back, lost in the moment. When she pulled back, her face was flushed. "And if you can't tell...I was actually trying to get you alone."

Grinning, I resumed the kiss. We made out for a while, neither concerned with the time. When we finally broke apart, the rain had let up a little.

We spent what felt like hours talking. The past decade gave us plenty of conversational topics. She told me all about the school she attended in Seattle, the sites she liked visiting and her favorite hole in the wall indie spots. About her relationship with her mother, her aunt that tried to keep everyone happy and how she met Greta online.

I told her about the hectic years I spent at Hollywood Arts, about the highs and lows of my relationship with Jade and about my attempts to figure out what I really want to do in life. She seemed especially interested in all the stories involving the unhinged Erwin Sikowitz. Admittedly, it's a little hard to believe that man kept his job, with some of his stunts.

Finally, the topic got to Jason. "So, how did you meet Jason? Just by chance?"

"No, he was part of Greta's friend group, so we hung out. At the time, Greta seemed happy I was settling in so well. She thought Jason and I were good together. Then, things got complicated...He'd go hot and cold all the time. One minute, he wanted to focus on his career, the next, he wanted to be with me. He'd get angry if I wasn't as enthusiastic as he was about the pace of things. At the six month mark, we moved in together."

"So soon?"

"His pace, remember?" She frowned, her eyes far away. "The fights got worse. He had a hundred reasons why I was ruining the relationship, but would take no accountability. Anytime I tried to establish boundaries, he'd break up with me. I think I really was scared of what would happen if I didn't stay with him. I didn't want to be shut out of my support system in L.A."

"He sounds like..." I stopped myself. Broken up or not, I better avoid insults.

"You can say it." She smiled in obvious amusement. "He's a prick."

"Well, yeah." I laughed.

"So, that's how it went. Then, he popped the question. He did it in front of everyone, so I felt compelled to say yes. I handed back the ring and you know the rest."

"So, you essentially moved here, continually renting out your cabin to avoid him during the messy breakup."

"Yeah...I don't think I would've had the guts to do this if Greta didn't notice something was wrong and make me talk about it. The friend group kind of split. Some took his side, Greta took mine. Jason knows I came here for the two weeks. He thinks I'm somewhere else, now. I'd rather he not know I stayed."

"How long will you stay?"

"The campground shuts down after September. I'll have to figure something out after this week. Greta says I can stay with her."

She clasped her hands on her knees. I looked at her, a worrying thought surfacing. "Will you go back to Seattle?"

She looked down. "Maybe, someday. Not now, though. I'd rather stay around L.A. There's still a lot I want to do."

I cupped her face and kissed her. "I'd definitely rather you stay, but don't make the decision based on me."

A stunning smile broke across her face, full of an array of emotions. The most notable one being relief. "Thank you."

We both jumped as a particularly loud clap of thunder rolled through. I pulled out my phone and checked the time. "It's nearly midnight."

"Seriously?" She stood up. "Greta's probably freaking out."

I followed her out of the covered deck and back to the road. We kept a brisk walk, hand in hand, all the way back. At the tree line, we paused. I pulled her close. "See you tomorrow?"

"Today at this point." She leaned in.

Kissing her once more, I watched her go into her cabin before turning around. I only got a few steps into the yard when I saw Jade standing under the covered porch, arms crossed.

She'd seen us.