Anakin tilted his head back, his gaze fixated on the ceiling as if it held the answers he was seeking. The relentless self-hatred had congealed into a suffocating pressure on his chest, making each breath an agonizing struggle. Swallowing hard, he finally surrendered to the numbness that had been his constant companion for far too long. He had spent years avoiding the weight of his wrongs, and Darth Vader had become a barrier for his guilty conscience.

Obi-Wan furrowed his brows, his concern evident, but he chose not to speak. Instead, he firmly grasped Anakin's hand, even though it elicited a painful grunt from his tormented apprentice.

Skillfully, he began to set and wrap Anakin's injured hand with a makeshift splint. Surprisingly, the burst of physical pain brought some relief, lifting the oppressive weight from Anakin's chest. Pain was a familiar companion, but now he contemplated using it as an escape from his overwhelming thoughts.

"Anakin, do you understand what you've done wrong?" Obi-Wan stood up, his gaze locked onto Anakin, his expression unreadable. Anakin's throat tightened.

"I... let my emotions control me," Anakin admitted, his mind awash with memories. He had once believed he was in control, but now it felt like wishful thinking, with Sidious always pulling the strings. He questioned whether Sidious had orchestrated his mother's kidnapping as well, or if he was simply searching for someone else to blame, anyone but himself. It all seemed foolish, incredibly foolish. As he mentally listed those who had believed in him until the end, he thought, 'I don't deserve them, in this life or the next.'

Anakin was overwhelmed by an intense urge to escape, to leap out of a window, to flee from the relentless guilt that clung to him.

With sudden determination, he moved to act on his plea, surging forward with the intent to see if his own death would end this illusion. But Obi-Wan swiftly pushed him down, causing Anakin to fall back onto the couch. He fought to contain a surge of emotions. But what was the point of suppressing them? Had it always been about adhering to the Jedi way? Or had he simply been passive about his emotions all along?

"Let me go," he whispered, his voice hoarse. "I always knew you'd be better off without me."

He was consumed by remorse, and the fear of that remorse led to anger.

Obi-Wan's confusion reached its peak, prompting him to retract his hands from Anakin's shoulders and take a step back. "Anakin... don't say that. You made a mistake. I know that it's not who you are."

Obi-Wan didn't know what he was capable of, he didn't know what atrocities he had committed as Vader. Anakin couldn't bring himself to share this information at the risk of shattering the fragile illusion that he could still be someone worth believing in. He feared that if he revealed the depths of his past as Vader, Obi-Wan's trust in him might crumble. Even if this was just an illusion, the thought of reliving it was unsettling.

He found himself searching for a way to confide in Obi-Wan without exposing his darkest secrets. A glimmer of hope flickered within him, the hope that maybe he could find redemption and healing without revealing the extent of his past sins.

Anakin refused to respond and began to rise from the couch, intending to sort his thoughts.

But Obi-Wan grabbed his forearm firmly, saying, "If you think I'm going to let you out of my sight after that, you're sorely mistaken."

Anakin fought the urge to lash out. Unfortunately, the barrier holding onto his sanity was thin and fragile. It was an illusion of mental stability that he desperately clung to.

At some point, he believed there was no difference between the expectations of the Jedi and those of Palpatine. He couldn't help but feel that he had disappointed them all. Now, he saw more clearly than ever that Palpatine had never cared for him, only for the power he represented. Anakin, too, sought to have control of others and craved power for selfish reasons. He couldn't bear the thought of losing Padmé, but that couldn't excuse the things he's done.

What has he done?

Like a dam bursting, screams of anguish seemed to fill his head, each one a painful reminder of his wrongs.

Among the collection of voices, one stood out from the rest—the voice of Padmé.

"I don't know you anymore, Anakin. You're breaking my heart!" her words echoed through his thoughts, haunting him like a relentless ghost of his past.

Suddenly, the objects in the room began to levitate, the lights buzzed as if about to burst, and the windows cracked under the mounting pressure. Obi-Wan was saying something, but Anakin couldn't hear him, or perhaps he chose not to.

Maybe he didn't want Obi-Wan to talk him out of the guilt, the pain. He believed he deserved it all.

The lights burst, and the windows cracked. The objects shot around in every direction.

Notes ;

I'll consider making longer chaps to make up for the slow updates lol