Chapter 7 Ayano Aishi: Making Friends and learning more about myself

At school I made two friends. First befriended Kuu Dere.

I was wandering around school, because I was bored and then I found a grey book at a less frequented corner of a hallway lying on a chair. It looked very much like someone forgot it. Soo, who would take the book and find the one it belonged to? I went to the library where Kuu Dere sat alone on a bench reading another book. I had been in the school library many times, but I didn´t really speak much with anyone and simply read books in peace. Today that changed, however.

I showed Kuu Dere the book and asked. "Is it yours?"

"No, but it belongs to the library. Thank you for bringing it back. I'm really grateful for what you did. Someone borrowed it, but lost it in one of the schools corridors and couldn't find it."

I then asked Kuu Dere which types of books she likes. She said she likes Novels. I told her that I like scientific books because they contain facts, and that I find novels and stories a bit confusing. She looked at me and said that I should give novels a try and that reading them gets easier over time. Like me, Kuu Dere doesn´t express much emotion. But I think she understands emotions better than I do. Ugh this is frustrating, I didn´t ask to be this emotionless. But I know that I must not resent it and strive to my best to learn more about emotions and how to fit in.

I found out more about her likes and dislikes.

Kuu Dere not only loves reading and solitude, she also loves violence, Anime and Video games. Hmm Anime and video games, maybe I should give them a try, these are stories too. Maybe I can learn something new.

Like me she dislikes Memes and Music, I never felt anything when listening to music and memes are just uninteresting to me. She also dislikes drama and martial arts. Hmm acting… I can pretend and act a bit, but I don't really care about acting, it may be useful like martial arts, but not interesting.

While I like science, cooking and the occult, Kuu dere is not interested in those things.

Kuu dere also dislikes making friends and does not really have any. Expect-

"Hey Kuu! Oh! Who are you? Hello I´m Midori Gurin! Nice to Meet you!"

"Ayano Aishi. Nice to meet you too."

Midori Gurin is … really strange. I don´t understand how her mind is working. Emotions. It puzzles me to no end.

Midori chan like her namesake colour green. What colours do I like? I like monotone colours the most. Grey, black and white. Maybe green, scarlet red, violet and metallic grey-blue too, but I don´t really know for sure.

Midori chan likes anime and Video games, just like Kuu chan does, but unlike Kuu chan she likes friend and dislikes solitude.

Friends and Solitude. How do I think about these thinks? I don´t know yet. Solitude is nice because I can busy myself with tasks, but making friends and socializing is interesting too. Seeing what other people likes and dislikes is interesting, because it makes me think about what I think about these topics. I never thought about it this way. Maybe I can get more emotions once I have defined my Identity better.

Midori chan also hates violence. Violence … Ugh…I don´t know what I think about violence, but I think my mother likes it, while my father despises it. Yeah that should be the case.

Midori chan also likes nature, memes and cosplay. Hmm.

Like Kuu chan science, cooking and the occult are uninteresting to her. Whatever.

I talked to Midori chan, but her fast pace at talking excitedly about various things, of which I didn't understand everything, was a bit overwhelming. Also all those silly questions? There are books you can read, Midori, and they hold the answer to many of those questions.

Anyways they invited me over to Midori chan´s House to play video games with them. It was… something. Smashing those buttons and making the virtual figures fight each other was … not exactly boring, but not very interesting either. But I did not want to disappoint them so I pretended to enjoy it just a little.

Also Midori chan´s parents are just like her. Odd. Aren´t they adults? They should be acting more like other adults.

Hmm Parents. What do my parents like and dislike? I don't know a lot about mother. Mover obsess- loves Senpa- my Father and is willing to use violence, the same way she is willing to use science, poisons, cooking and anything else as long as it is useful.

Father … I know much more about him. He dislikes cooking, but not food necessarily and he accepted my liking for cooking. He thinks that the occult is unsettling. Could be.

He also dislikes not only violence but gossip to. He thinks Gossiping is morally reprehensive. Gossiping hurts people after all.

Father not only likes family and socializing, but also Justice, reading and money. Money…Money is certainly useful.

Hmm…, I think I know from where my affinity for reading comes from.

Afterwards I was invited over to Midori chan´s house for a few more times, and while it was not as interesting as it was at first, Father still liked me doing it. Mother on the other hand… didn't seem to like it too much, but this time it was Father who disapproved of her motions. Strange, because usually it is the other way around. Good that father lets me be the way I am. It would be frustrating if not. I can respect his help a lot.

Mother… I really don't know what to think about her. Why wouldn't she want that I have friends? Argh, I want to change the topic now.

Right, so I also watched some anime with Midori chan and Kuu chan. I did not understand everything, but those Stories were still mysterious and appeared somehow important.

I tried out the planchet which could be used to see spirits through its hole. As expected I did not see anything. The I decided to bring it to school and looked to see if there were any spirits in sight. No luck either. The I saw a blueish-green haired girl with a hunched over back and a dull and lost expression wandering the hallways. Her eyes were much duller than normal eyes, even duller than mine! She looked very broken.(Like a mind-slave. I read about them in a creepy book from the basement and it did unsettle me a lot) I looked through the planchet and what did I see? A spirit. So Spirits are indeed reality. Intriguing. The Spirit looked almost identical to the greenish blued haired girl and hugged her with ghostly arms and a very sad expression. Where they twins?

Father had told me that if people are hurting I should help them. She looked like she did hurt a lot. I also felt my curiosity flare up like never before and decided to approach her.

"Uhm h-hi. Who are you? C-can I help you with something?"

Ugh why did I stutter? Am I afraid of strangers? No I just felt a little hesitant and unsure of what I was doing. After all she was really hurt and I should be very careful.

"I´m fine". She looked at me blankly and I showed her the planchet. "Look through this. There may be something important you might want to see."

I gave her the planchet and she looked through it, and I saw her eyes widen in … Shock?... and she dropped the planchet and fell to the ground and shook violently started crying very loudly. She said something like "sister", "I´m sorry" "I miss you!"

Oh no! Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt her? I felt frustration, confusion, even panic and…shame?

With urgency I realized that I needed to apologize immediately! Maybe I had overstepped a boundary!? No good!

She didn´t respond to my apology. Was she having a seizure or something? Shit! I needed to get a teacher immediately! I ran as fast as I could and got to a teacher who came immediately after me after seeing my urgency.