Chapter 25 Ayano …Aishi? No. NEVER AN AISHI!: Confronting the horrors of past and present.
I was so crushed. I knew the sick, horrid , world shattering truth about my mother. This is why Motehr always acted so strangely! This is why the Headmaster is so paranoid and hostile against me! This is why Megami Saikou hates my guts. This is why the student council members are wary of me! It …all makes sense…!
I wanted to desperately deny it, but now… there is no turning back! Not anymore!
Would the other people hate me too if they knew what my mother is? Will they think a am such a THING …Murderer….Monster… too?
"Oka chan….do you think I a am a … m-monster? D-do y-you h-hate m-me?
Oka chan looked worried. "No…Ayano chan…don't think …such things….you are no monster. You are …very unusual….but you still are … one of us."
"R-really? "
"Of course, Ayano chan. You have …. always helped us and ….never harmed anyone."
Then Kaga Kusha spoke up.
"Ayano Aishi, you are one of my more accomplished Assets- er … Science clubmembers. Thanks to you my plans have been accelerated significantly. Stay usefu- …productive and don´t be upset. We will support you if we can. You can get all the parts you need in the science club, and if they aren´t there we can get them for you. So please, don´t be sad."
Then Yaku kun. "Ayano-chan you are just wonderful, I have never met someone like you in my life. You have helped me so much with my experiments. I am forever indebted to you. Please don´t be sad, if something bothers you can tell us. I trust you with my life, Ayano-chan , you are my best friend. We won´t be angry with you if you tell us."
Oh Yaku-kun, I wish I could tell you…but I am too afraid of losing you…I could not bear losing you as a friend. If you know what my mother is, will you shun me? If I lose you I will become hollow gain , like when I was little. I can´t bear that thought.
" I-I wish I c-could t-tell y-you, b-but i-I d-don't w-want y-you t-to h-hate m-me… It's about my moth-"
I gasped and covered my mouth. No I can't lose you because of it. I can't!
Could I even tell the Kurusu sisters…I think I would be able to…they really trust me and would like me no matter what, I am sure of that. After all…I helped them with-… SUMIRE! I need to help her too! As soon as possible! She is stuck there for who knows how long! FUCK MY MOM!
I said "Please leave me alone, I ned to attend urgent matters!" and got up.
I ran. The nurse protested but, unimportant. I ran to the bathroom despite my fears.
Sumire Saitozaki was there. I saw her. I looked at her, unsure how to start talking….
Sumire Saitozaki broke the silence. Somehow I could hear her. Telepathy? Don't know, don´t care. Sumire needs help. Urgently.
Her voice was cold and cutting almost like … mother´s kitchen knives…"Are you an Aishi or a Yudasei?"
This was important. I needed to tell the truth and not fuck this up… Sumire Saitozaki is very angry after all.
This was a fine line to thread…but now I know how I feel.
"I am a human like my father and you. I am not my mother. They may call me an Aishi, but now that I know what Aishis do, I never ever want to be one. So, in truth I really am a Yudasei like my father."
"Your father is Jokichi Yudasei?"
"Yes he is, and I am his daughter."
"I see. Can I tell you what SHE did to me?"
I said yes, of course. Poor Sumire Saitozaki needs to get any help she can get.
What Sumire Saitozaki told me was….beyond horrifying, if I hadn't been on the toilet previously I would probably have pissed my pants…and hadn´t I´ve vomited at the nurses´s office I would have vomited all over the bathroom stall…
She told me how she lived and ordinary life, got to Akademi, because her parents supported her, she studied hard to get there. She met Jokichi Yudasei and became his friend and they read books together and had fun. She was otherwise rather lonely and did not make many friends.
Her voice sounded less angry and so …sad and wistful…I cried a lot, and did not care and then let her continue talking…
She told me that she met HER and knew HER Name, but did not know what SHE really was, until it was too late. She told me that she had a crush on my Father, and that SHE put an note in her locker and lured her into the bathroom. Sumire Saitozaki was embarrassed that SHE knew of her crush, turned her back on her to hide the embarrassment and got brutally killed by HER
"I KNOW WHY! SHE IS MAD! SHE WANTS MY FATHER SO MUCH THAT SHE WOULD DO ANYTHING!"
Sumire was very angry, yet at the same time glad I told her about this terrible fact. Now she knows exactly what happened and why…
I felt tears in my eyes again, when Sumire Saitozaki told me about how SHE put her [body] in to a trash bag, mopped up her blood, and laughed maniacally and finally burned her. Every Trace of Sumire Saitozaki´s existence erased. Now Sumire Saitozaki is stuck here in the bathroom floor and no one knew the truth! (Except for a few people that suspect it…)
It didn't matter that Ui Tunesu found the bloodstain or that SHE was put on trial…she was declared innocent! And feigned concern for poor Sunmire Saitozaki..THE GALL OF IT! Now SHE is free to murder anyone. I had to restrain myself from screaming and crying while listening…
Oh Sumire… You were wronged so much.
BY HER!
Horrid thoughts crossed my mind- but Kinslayers are accursed in the eyes of gods and men…but. SHE. IS. NOT. FAMILY! CAN I ANNIHILATE HER? AFTER ALL WHAT SHE DID!? WHY AM I DESCENDED FROM SUCH AN ABOMINATION! WHY WHY WHY?
The lights had gone out again and Sumire Saitozaki screamed in terror!
"YOU EYES ARE GLOWING! ARE YOU A MONSTER LIKE HER?!
"NO! NEVER! NEVER! I AM ANGRY AT HER HAT IS! ROOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRRGHHHHH!"
RRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
RRRRRHOOAAAAAAAAAAHRRRRRRR!"
Maybe everyone heard this but . .
Raging felt bad (because of the inhibition borne from the fear of getting punished for it), yet so cathartic at the same time, all that supressed anger, all that grief, all that horror getting unleashed, roaring together with Sumire Saitozaki felt…liberating.
We both were wronged.
Her more than I but still,….
Now all the lights went on again and we were crying like crazy. I don´t know how much time had passed but by now it was late.
I told her what became of my Father and how SHE harassed him, and how he still had her book. She was angry about how he was treated.
"So.. what do we do now. We must do something as soon as possible!" I said.
"If you are not an Aishi, then kill her! Kill her with all you got!"
"Then I would become like HER! And you too! I´d rather not exist that doing that!
Stooping to HER level is not an option. NEVER EVER. WOULD YOU EVER WANT TO BE LIKE HER?"
"NO! NEVER!"
"Then murdering HER is not an option.
However we will do something about HER very soon."
Sumire Saitozaki looked serious.
I asked her "Can I do anything for you? Now it is time for me to leave…" FUCK! If I go home I will meet HER! I am afraid, what do I do? I cried again. Ugh, so much crying what a fucking mess I am now…
"Can you please come tomorrow again?"
"Will do."
"Wait, I can build bodies! Want to have a second chance?!"
"If it was possible than yes, but please don´t waste your time with that. It is futile. .."
"No, it isn´t. I already did it once."
"Whatever, … See you tomorrow."
I steeled myself and walked out of the bathroom in a trance. People were gathering and tried to speak to me, but I sent them glares, and they budged so I could walk through the crowd. Good. I can´t deal with anyone's mess right now. Oh Osoro Shidesu, maybe she just wants to be left alone because she is dealing with something too,.. whatever…there are more important things…
I was afraid of going home, but the anger was burning like a firestorm too.
When I came home I ran to Father, hugged him tightly and cried.
"Ayano, my daughter, what happened?"
I whispered in his ear quietly . "I know what happened to Sumire. Can't tell you now…"
Father deflated, but then his and were balled into fists and he trembled.
Then-OHGOD IT IS HER OGHOD IT IS HER OHGODNONONONONONO! (LEAVE! DON'T TALK TO ME!)
I stifled a scream, ran into my room, slammed the door shut, locked the door and cried a lot. Again.
Then I searched together the robot parts which were created when I helped Maigo Kurusu. Oh the Kurusu sisters. This though made me smile for the first time since I knew the truth, but the joy went away immediately when I remembered the horror again. I gathered quite some parts together and constructed a blueprint from memory of how Sumire Saitozaki looked like. Then I must have collapsed from exhaustion soon afterwards, because the next memories I had were something very strange and also terrible…