Chapter Two

It was hard for Usopp the first couple weeks. There were times when Luffy would have to physically drag him out of bed. Sometimes he would be kicking, screaming and crying, other times, he would be dead silent.

Now, he was standing in his factory. The broken bed in the corner of the room had been removed and replaced with a bigger one. New sheets, pillows and a navy blue comforter adorning it.

Someone had straightened up, likely Luffy and Chopper based on how his papers and materials were placed. Incorrect, but close to where they should be, and haphazardly laying on the floor, desk or against the wall in small piles.

With a sigh Usopp placed the empty box in his hand onto the misshapen metal stool by his desk, and began to place Law's things into it. Medical books he had left, lab notes for experiments they had done together, shirts, socks. Usopp hesitated when he reached forward to take the pictures of them off of his wall. He squeezed his eyes shut and pulled them off, shoving them into the box.

He took another look around his factory before taking the box to the storage closet next to his factory and locking it away. He would send it to Law the next time they landed.

o0o

"... I thought I was a goner! Thanks, Robin!" Luffy said enthusiastically. "Usopp would have killed me if he saw what I'd done."

"Of course, Captain. But perhaps you should stay out of his factory?"

"Aw, but where— Usopp!?"

Luffy broke off abruptly as he followed Robin into the girls cabin, followed closely by Robin and Chopper. Nami was sitting on her bed, back to the headboard with Usopp's head laying in her lap, his long legs thrown over the side carelessly. He was swigging enthusiastically from a nearly empty bottle of cheap grog.

"Usopp, are you sick!?" Chopper cried, jumping off Robin's shoulder and landing on the bed beside his friend. He touched his forehead and looked down at him with a large frown. "What's wrong?"

"Usopp found an old shirt of Law's," Nami said in a way of explanation as she worked her fingers through Usopp's curls, her other hand occupied with a book.

"Oh, I see," Chopper turned to glare at Luffy. "I thought you said you got rid of all of them!"

"I thought I did!" Luffy said, a pout forming on his face as he thought back, rubbing a finger across his chin in thought. "I must have missed one."

Usopp made a noise like a wounded puppy and drained the last of the grog, screwing his face up as he swallowed and then dropped his hand, allowing the bottle to fall onto the plush carpet with a soft thud.

"Law would let me drink wine," he said forlornly, grabbing Nami's hand and shoving it over his mouth. "Do you think you'd be able to suffocate me?"

"I think I have something for you," Robin said before walking over to her closet and pulling out a bottle, and four shot-glasses. "It was a gift from one of the islands I visited when I was still with the Baroque Works. I'm not sure what it is like." She inspected the bottle and placed it down on Nami's side table and handed around the glasses.

Luffy picked up, "Fire Bitch."

"Classy," Nami said dryly. She pushed Usopp into a seated position, allowing him to lean against her shoulder.

"Cheers," Usopp raised his glass and threw back the reddish brown liquid. Everyone followed his lead, Nami, him and Luffy sputtering as the liquid went down their throats.

Nami turned to the side and coughed into her arm, "Robin, What the fuck is this!?" She croaked, eyes watering.

Robin picked up the bottle and glanced at the label. "Unique liquor made of West Blue whiskey, cinnamon and cayenne pepper."

"Tastes like pain," Usopp said hoarsely, waving his glass at Robin. "More please."

"Usopp," Nami said softly as he knocked back a second and third shot before Robin decided to cut him off. "You can't let him get to you like this."

"I can't help it!" Usopp looked at her aghast. "Have you seen him? Have you seen me? He was so out of my league that pluto is closer. The chances of me ever getting into a relationship with someone even semi-close to him is incalculable. He's so smart and handsome, and funny—"

"Funny, Law?" Nami mouthed to Luffy, Robin and Chopper, causing the three of them to shrug.

"He's like the most gorgeous wonderful thing on earth and I'm a fucking pickle."

"I like pickles," Luffy said, "Oof— Nami, don't kick!" he complained, rubbing his stomach.

Usopp huffed miserably and flopped sideways to lay across the bed. He missed and rolled onto the floor where he stayed, face down.

"Doesn't that hurt your nose?" Chopper asked, peering over the edge of the bed.

"Pain's good." Came Usopp's muffled response.

Luffy put his shot glass on Nami's side table and sat down cross-legged beside Usopp, patting him on the back.

"C'mon, Usopp. Law's an ass. Sure, he has a cool submarine, but you have so much more going for you. You are so cool, you make awesome gadgets, you are very smart, funny and your stories are awesome. You are really pretty—"

Usopp laughed darkly.

"I'm serious! Even prettier than Boa Hancock, even. Or Helen! You know, that story Robin told us about that lady who had the two countries fighting over her because she was so beautiful?"

"Do me a favour, please let me be there when you tell Hancock you find your ugly sniper more pretty than her."

"It's true, you know," Nami said from her spot on the bed. "Robin and I talk about how gorgeous you are all the time, right?" She turned to Robin, who gave a sound of affirmation.

"You've certainly grown into your own, Usopp."

Usopp rolled onto his back and dragged his hands over his face. "I think I'm going to pay an ancient sea turtle a million beri for his shell, cut him out and then set up shop and live there for the next 500 years." He paused for a minute, eyebrows knitting together. "What do sea turtles eat?" After a minute, he sighed. "No matter, I'll just ask Jinbe."

The group burst into laughter.

"Usopp, what the hell?" Nami shook her head.

Usopp opened his mouth to respond and closed it again, looking like he wanted to say something but had forgotten what. He shrugged, pulled out his air from its confines and snatched up the bottle of Fire Bitch that was sitting on the table and began chugging it until Chopper changed forms and pried it from his hands.

He pouted at him from under his hair, the locks falling wildly over his face and down his back. Chopper looked back at him unimpressed and Usopp slumped back on to the floor and turned on his side.

"Oh!" Usopp gasped suddenly. "There's a mikan under here!" he frowned, pulling himself closer so he could get a better look. "But it's dying!" He pulled himself under the bed and reached for it. "Damn, it keeps… rolling… away," he grunted. "Aha! You're mine!" He pulled himself out, a mikan in his hand, orange and slightly fuzzy, and sat up. "Don't worry little Mikan, I'll save you." Usopp brought the orange to his lips and began to rhythmically puff air on to it, and then squeezing it with two fingers.

"Usopp, what the fuck are you doing?" Nami asked.

"It's dying, Nami. I'm giving it CPR," Usopp explained, giving her a look as if he couldn't believe that Nami couldn't grasp the concept of what he was doing. "You of all people should know that it needs to get big again so that it can fulfill its life as a delicious, juicy mikan!"

Robin snatched the fruit out of Usopp's hands, "This is a moldy pepper, Usopp."

"Oh," He said simply. "May I eat it?"

"You're allergic!" Chopper said firmly. "You can't eat that."

Usopp scrunched up his face in thought, "I am?"

"Yes!"

"Oh," Usopp reached for the Fire Bitch again, but Luffy intercepted.

"You've had enough," he said, handing it over to Robin. "Maybe we should talk about what you are going to do about Law."

Usopp looked up at his captain with large watery eyes, "Are you going to throw me off the crew."

"What!?" Luffy cried, outraged. "Don't be stupid. Of course not!"

"But…" Usopp looked at Luffy helplessly with wide eyes. "I'm so useless, and I want to get over him, but all I can think about is how pretty his dick is!"

Luffy stared at his friend in shocked silence for a minute before looking up at Nami, "How much has he had to drink!?"

"Um, well, I had a couple of drinks with him in the Aquarium room and then we had a couple in here because he was accusing the fish of fornicating and mocking him… then, that bottle of grog," she gestured to the empty bottle still laying on the carper. She then pointed to the Fire Bitch in Robin's hands. "And quite a lot of that."

"Nami!"

"What! He's a pirate, I figured he could take it!"

"I had four vodka shots in the Aquarium, and the alcoholic lemonade Sanji reserves for you while you went to the bathroom," Usopp slurred. He was getting drunker by the minute.

"When has Usopp ever handled his drink!?" Chopper asked, outraged. He jumped off the bed and went over to the door. "Usopp, I'm getting you some water and something to eat. Do NOT move, I'll be right back."

"Law likes bubbly water," Usopp said dreamily, rolling his head to look up at Nami with a silly grin.

"We know," Nami said airily, dropping to the floor and motioning for Luffy to help her tug Usopp off the floor and back onto the bed. "You know, Law being a doctor, I bet it would back him super happy if you were to drink a glass of water."

Usopp nodded, allowing them to sit him on the bed. He looked around the space, spotting Nami's stuffed cloud that she kept on her bed. He picked it up, holding it very close to his face.

"Hello, what's your name?" He asked. He cleared his throat slightly before adopting a high pitched voice.

"My name is Lord Blowy, who are you?"

Nami turned to Luffy and Robin, "Blowy?" She mouthed. Robin shrugged and Luffy hid his snicker behind his hand as Usopp carried on.

"My name is Usopp. Did you know your name is really stupid?"

"Not as stupid as your nose!"

"That is very hurtful, Lord Blowy. You know what, fuck you!"

And without warning, Usopp gripped Lord Blowy tightly in a fist and launched him across the room, straight into Nami's collective Piggy Bank. The ceramic pig didn't budge, causing the cloud to bounce off and fall innocently to the floor.

Pleased with the turn of events, Usopp smiled smugly to himself, and got up, sway-walking towards the door. "Gotta go to the bathroom." He exited the room, but not before walking into the door jab, and muttering an apology to it. Luffy trailed over him, giggling the entire way.

There was a moment of silence before Nami and Robin dissolved into fits of laughter.

"I've never seen him like this!" Nami said, hand on her chest.

"I didn't think he was still this hung up over Law," Robin admitted. "It's been several months."

Nami sighed, "He was doing better until he saw Law's photo in the paper this morning." She dropped onto her bed with a sigh, "I told Sanji to check the paper before letting Usopp read it."

"Sanji's got a lot going on," Robin reminded her.

"Yeah, I know. And we can't protect him forever, but he just falls into such deep pits of depression. It's so hard to watch." Nami leaned her head against her headboard. "I don't want him to hurt himself, especially over Law of all fucking people."

"Maybe it's not about Law?" Robin suggested, sitting beside Nami on the bed and pulling her over into a hug.

"Hm?"

"He's been left by everyone he's loved, no?

"Hm, yeah, I guess." Nami snuggled into her shoulder, "Do you think this is a fear of abandonment thing?"

"Could be, he—" a loud clatter followed by a giggle sounded from outside their cabin, stopping Robin in her tracks.

"Oh, for fucks sake," Nami huffed. "What are those idiots doing now?"

Nami and Robin left their cabin, towards the lawn and swings. Luffy was no where to be found, but Usopp was sitting cross-legged on the grass holding the belt of Nami's bathrobe and carefully looping it through the elastics of several purple and green pointed party hats that he must have gotten from his factory.

"Usopp, what are you doing?" Nami asked carefully, approaching him slowly as if he might startle.

Usopp looked up at her with a slightly manic expression. "Shh, don't interrupt me when I'm working." He looked back down, concentrating on the hats and belt in his lap, his tongue poking out the side of his mouth as he made neat little knots down the belt. When no less than six hats were strung and knotted on the belt he unsteadily stood and tied it around his waist, looking at Nami and Robin expectantly.

Nami gave Robin an exasperated glance before smiling at Usopp, "Very nice, Usopp." She bit her lip, "Two questions… Where is Luffy?"

"Kitchens."

"Of course," Nami muttered to herself. "Okay, and why the… belt?"

"Look!" Usopp exclaimed, trying to look, turning around in a full circle, like a pup chasing its tail. "I'm an Usosaurus!"

Nami furrowed her eyebrows and looked up, catching Zoro's eyes. It seems he finally woke up. "Usosaurus?"

"Yes! I look like a dinosaur, so I might as well become one! Now, I've got the spikes and everything!"

He looked incredibly pleased with himself, leaving the others in various stages of confusion.

"Get that off, idiot. You look ridiculous!" Zoro growled, yanking on the belt.

"Ah! My tail!" Usopp turned angrily towards Zoro and stomped his foot. "You don't pull on someone's tail, Zoro! That is very rude. Bad ZORO!"

"Oi, what the hell are you shit-heads doing?"

The group looked up to see Sanji looking down at them, cigarette in hand.

"Sanji!" Usopp waved, "I'm an Usosaurus!" He did a little twirl and grinned at Sanji.

Sanji raised his eyebrows, "I see that."

Usopp's face suddenly darkened as he threw a nasty look over his shoulder, "Zoro was being rude, Sanji, he pulled my tail!"

"We don't pull other's tails, Moss-head," Sanji chastised, a shit-eating grin crossing his face.

"Don't encourage him, pervert-cook!" Zoro growled.

Usopp's lip trembled before he fell to his knees and burst into tears.

"ZORO!" Nami and Sanji snapped at him.

"What did you do to him, moron!?" Sanji growled, jumping over the railing to kneel beside Usopp. "It's okay, Usopp. No need to cry."

"Why would anyone want a sad, lonely dinosaur like me?" he choked out before sobbing harder, tears spilling down his cheeks.

Sanji sent a wide-eyed helpless look at Nami as she ran to sit beside Usopp. Nami pulled him to her chest, and rubbed his back, shushing and cooing at him.

"Rawwwwwr," Usopp said quietly and then sniffed. "I'm so drunk."

"I know, Usosaurus," Sanji said gently, offering Usopp his hand to help him up. "Come on, come to the kitchens. I made you a sandwich."

Usopp nodded mutely and followed Sanji and Nami to the kitchens, leaving Robin and Zoro on the deck.

"What the hell was that about?" Zoro asked, scrubbing his fingers through the hair on the back of his head.

"Usopp saw Law's picture in the newspaper this morning."

"Fuck," Zoro cursed. He threw up his hands and growled. "I'm going to go workout!" He announced before storming to the tree and up the rope to the crow's nest.

Robin shook her head, smiling softly and shaking her head at the swordsman before making her way to the kitchen to make sure Nami and Sanji didn't need any help with Usopp.

She walked in to the three of them sitting at the able, Usopp slowly eating his sandwich. He stopped abruptly, dropping the sandwich on the plate.

"Do you feel sick?" Sanji asked, leaning forward to press the back of his hand to Usopp's forehead.

Usopp stood abruptly, chair scraping against the tiled floor. "Need some fresh air," he muttered, stumbling towards the door that led to the stern of the ship where the Medical Bay resided. For a moment he merely stood outside, looking up at the evening sky, the belt with the makeshift spikes hanging off his waist.

Nami shot Sanji a worried look, but he merely shrugged, taking a deep drag from his cigarette.

The three of them watched Usopp through the window for a few more minutes, picking pieces off the sandwich Usopp left behind until Sanji got a clear look at what he was doing.

"He has his den den!"

"How'd he get that!?" Nami shouted, scrambling up and rushing out the door, Sanji on her heels. Robin hovered in the doorway, arms folded over her chest, smiling down in greeting at Chopper, who came out of his office, confusion coloring his little face.

Sanji grabbed the den den from Usopp's hands and Usopp looked at him with a pout before stepping back from the cook and continuing to look up at the sky.

Nami grabbed the den den from Sanji and brought it over to where Robin and Chopper were standing. "Fuck, listen to this."

"RAAWWR!" Usopp let out an enormous roar. Chopper and Nami jumped, while Sanji and Robin covered their faces as they laughed. They looked up at the sound of hurried footsteps to see Luffy, Brook and Franky looking curiously over the edge.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Bro!?" Franky called down.

Usopp looked up and then pointed to a couple of nonplussed giant birds that were perched on the edge of the ship, to the spikes on his back. He continued to roar at the birds until they startled and flew away.

Nami walked over to Usopp and spun him towards her, "What's the code for your den den?"

"What?"

"What is the code to your den den, he won't let me see anything without it."

"Oh, 1323."

"13," Nami started to say, pausing. "1323— What's so funny, Robin?"

"There was a very famous battle that took place in 1323, called the Battle of Trafalgar, which was one of the deciding victories for Ryuugu Kingdom's acceptance into the World Government."

Nami stared incredulously down at the den den in her hand to Usopp, "Are you fucking kidding me!? How did you even come up with that!?"

"I'm a genius," Usopp said airily.

Nami bit her tongue and pet the den den, to get it to roll out its tongue and show her the latest messages Usopp sent. "Oh boy," Nami shook her head. "He's going to hate himself when he's sober."

"RAWR, too late for this sad dinosaur," Usopp said softly.

Sanji and Robin looked over her shoulder, wincing at the messages. "Did he seriously ask him to see his pretty dick?"

"RAWR, it's so pretty."

Nami shook her head, "Call Captain Trafalgar Law," she asked the den den, moving inside so that Usopp couldn't hear her. "Luffy, Franky, Brook, watch him and make sure he doesn't fall into the water. Idiot will drown in his state."

Luffy jumped down, and leaned over to poke Usopp's cheek. "I can show you my dick."

Usopp made a gagging sound.

"That's just rude!" Luffy said, mock offended.

The door closed behind her and Nami sat at the counter of the kitchen, nodding her head when Sanji motioned, asking if she wished for tea.

"Usopp, why are you calling?"

"It's Nami."

"What do you need? Is he okay?"

Nami looked out the window, eyebrows raised. "He's completely drunk. He found some leftover party hats and strung them together with my robe's belt. He's at the back of the ship, roaring at poor seabirds because he's currently a Usosaurus."

"That's—"

"I was just calling to tell you to delete any messages you got from him tonight."

"NO USOPP, YOU CAN'T GO DOWN THERE!" Luffy laughed. Nami stood, eyes widening as she watched Luffy pull Usopp away from the railing.

"He's going to fucking drown," Nami growled frustration, pinching the bridge of her nose. She stood and stormed out the backdoor, "Get AWAY from the railing!" She turned back to the den den. "Ignore anything he sends to you, he's not in his right mind. Bye, Law." She hung up and put the den den in her pocket, folding her arms over her chest and shaking her head.

Luffy led Usopp over to Nami, and patted his back. Usopp looked down at Nami. "Rawr?" He said, cocking his head to the side.

With a long suffering sigh, she nodded, "Rawr."