LAST SEASON on Total Drama Fandoms, twenty-two contestants from all over the Multiverse came together for the most grueling season of Total Drama yet! One by one, they were sent home by their peers, until the final four battled it out at the Finale! In the end, Sasha Braus from Dauper, Paradis, and Amethyst from Beach City in Delmarva placed fourth and third, respectively, Jason Grace from Berkeley, California was our runner up and the winner of our first ever multiversal season was none other than Mabel Pines of Gravity Falls!
This season, we're bringing in eighteen new recruits from every corner of fiction to produce a reality TV extravaganza unlike any before! They'll be braving deadly children's games, fighting alien invasions, solving a mysterious murder, overcoming teenage angst and potential drug addiction, competing in a drag race for the stars and many more challenges as they vie for the crown of Total Drama Fandom Action and ONE MILLION DOLLARS!
As always, I'm Chris McLean and this is my abandoned movie set from the original TDA! Let's go meet the contestants!
Lines in Italic are Confessionals
The TDA Dressing Room reappears, bigger and better than ever. The makeup rooms, the racks of costumes and props and the other movie equipment are scattered around the edges of the room. The first contestant enters.
A lean young man enters the dressing room. His sea green eyes would have caught the attention of a crowd… if he hadn't been the first entrant
"Whale, whale, whale, I hope you guys are ready to get… I'm the first one?"
Percy: I'm Percy Jackson, I'm from New York City. Like last season's runner-up, Jason Grace, I am a demigod.
Percy looked around the dressing room in dismay. "Seriously, this can't be happening, if me and my ADHD-having ass are the first in, I don't wanna meet the rest of the contestants…"
Percy: I'm trained in swordsmanship, Greek language, and various other forms of combat. As a son of Poseidon, I have control over water and various other liquids. I think I've got a good, no, a great shot at winning Total Drama Action because I've been told I put on a really great show when I do my thing.
Percy groaned. "Well, that was a wasted entrance…"
"Not quite, Seaweed Brain!" chimed a voice in the room. A girl shimmered into existence next to him, her blonde hair tucked neatly into a Yankees cap.
Percy rolled his eyes. "Of course you'd already be here"
Annabeth grinned. "You know it"
Annabeth: I'm Annabeth Chase, daughter of Athena and Camp Half-Blood's chief architect. Oh, and also I'm Percy's girlfriend. We're a package deal. I can't have him running off into a reality TV show without me or he'll get his butt sent home within a week.
Annabeth looked around. "Just think. All of these props have got to be clues for the coming challenges. I see weird black masks, some cowboy action figures and some crazy-looking wigs"
Percy nodded. "Uh-huh. Looks like this is gonna be one heck of a season"
Annabeth: As a daughter of Athena, I think I can bring to the competition some of the most daring plays this show has ever seen. I feel sorry for everyone else in this season, because I walked into this competition with a plan, and I mean to execute it perfectly….
Percy stretched himself on a chair. "Who do you think's next?"
"With our luck?" Annabeth smirked, "A sea monster."
"Do you feel the ocean calling? Just kidding, but wasn't that a pretty rad entrance line?"
A young woman entered the room, her rich, blue hair cascading like ocean waves down to her shoulders and waist. Her skin was dark. Annabeth guessed South Indian, but the emblem on her lapel did not match any known nation on Earth. Percy's jaw dropped when she began bending a nearby glass of water to her will. She fidgeted with the water as she walked towards them.
"Who is THAT," asked Percy, still gaping.
"That's Princess Mermista, and pick up your jaw," Annabeth scolded.
Mermista: I'm Mermista, princess of the oceans and the protector of grey whales. I think I like, totally bring a vibe that the rest of the competition just isn't ready for.
Mermista nodded and then did a double take of surprise at Percy. "A son of Poseidon," she murmured, "That's a rare sight these days…"
"I usually hear that line from monsters who want to eat me, so it's refreshing to hear it from someone who's not." Percy replied, "You're not trying to eat me, are you?"
Mermista shrugged. "Meh, I already have a boyfriend, so…" Annabeth laughed.
Mermista: I think I can win Total Drama, because… like… I'm not so easily carried away by my emotions and I can totally see through gaslighting and whatnot
Mermista stared at the doorway. "I'm waiting to see what dorks lurk behind the doors"
Percy: Mermista being here is going to be cool, but also sort of tense. We'll both have to work hard to make sure we're seen as more than just "the one that talks to fish"
Mermista: Percy is going to be, like, serious competition, but a seagull also told me he was kind of a dork, so maybe I can just play it smart and cut him off as soon as he makes a misstep. Gotta watch out for that girlfriend, though. She looks sharp
"OH Y'ALL WANTED A TWIST, EH?"
All three heads turned to see a bizarre sight marching through the doors. What appeared to be a living, talking flower in a pot was strutting down the dressing room in an outfit straight out of RuPaul's Drag Race.
"COME ON SEASON TWO, LET'S GET SICKENING!" said the flower, doing a death drop on the floor.
Mermista eyed the flower curiously, "Work, I guess"
Percy was living for it more. "Yass, bitch, SLAY!"
Leslie: I'm Leslie, I'm from Elmore, where I am the most sickening personality around. I've been ghosted by RuPaul's Drag Race for years during auditions so I decided Total Drama was the next best thing for me
Leslie surveyed the room. "Oh, hi, are you guys like the Pit Crew?"
Mermista scoffed, "We're like, the other contestants, who will kick whatever you have instead of an ass"
Leslie: Oop, not even five minutes and the shade is already thick, mama. I know these other contestants are GAGGED by my elegant entrance look
Leslie joined them on the long table. "I see they're bringing in fresh FISH for this season!" eyeing Mermista and Percy. "Come on, sushi rolls!"
Percy: (long pause, side-eyeing the camera) Sushi rolls?
Annabeth stared at the lineup so far. "Well, this is straight out of an Area 51 containment breach"
"Where the breach at?! I'm on it!"
The contestants looked as a young woman entered the room, her frizzled black hair and eyebags belying the signs of a workaholic. She sprayed the room with what Annabeth was shocked to see was concentrated Mist.
"Why is the Mist so thin here? We've got three metahumans and a talking plant in the middle of Canadian WeHo. We're lucky YouTubers haven't posted us all up in here already"
Reagan: I'm Reagan Ridley and I work for Cognito Inc. My friends say I am a workaholic and I wear that as a badge of honor. I'm focused, driven and persevering. Total Drama, you're looking at your next winner!
Percy stared. "So, you're like the Men in Black?"
Reagan scoffed, "Pfft, those guys are overrated. We're the ones who handle the real job of keeping people in the dark for their own safety. Paperwork, field operations, propaganda campaigns. How do you think the world doesn't know about demigods yet despite you saving the world on a weekly basis?"
"Sounds like you got your work cut out for ya"
"I sure do. That's why my team said I should join Total Drama Action, they said it'll be one hell of a break for me.
Reagan: And also we need that one million dollars to pull Cognito out of the shitshow my dad got it into…
Leslie: I love, love, LOVE that Reagan is here! She's friends with my drag mom, Mycelium. Mama Myc does a killer Marilyn Monroe impersonation
Rapid-fire Japanese talking is heard from outside. Samurai background music starts playing
"Ooh, a secret Asian queen?" wondered Leslie.
"I see the people who will die for my character development are already here…"
Percy gasped. "Lies. Lycaon, lies"
Toshi entered the fray in full battle regalia, catching the attention of the other contestants
Toshi: You may remember me as one of Steve's friends from American Dad. Now that the show's over, I'm free to go beyond my stereotype and show people my true potential. I love long walks on the beach, Gundam toys and Mrs. Smith's fried chicken.
"What's with the cosplay?" asked Percy.
Toshi scoffed "Cosplay? This is my heritage"
Toshi: Ooh, Mr. Jackson, you play too much
Leslie: This is TOTAL DRAMA! A samurai outfit with a retro trim? It's not stunning!
Police sirens start blaring.
"Ey, who called the po-po?" asked Toshi.
A small figure entered the room. Brown hair on brown skin… or crust?! A crisp overcoat covered a white double-breasted shirt tucked under brown paisley pants. The strange figure held aloft a badge of authority.
"You're all under arrest for the improper use of magic!"
Cricket sounds.
"In hindsight, that wasn't a very good entrance line…."
Almond: I'm Almond. I've worked for the Kingdom's police force for years and if there's anything I've learned on my beat, it's that a dog ain't never too old to learn new tricks. So here I am, to show these kids this old timer's got plenty of tricks left in the bag.
Almond looked around the room for something. "First things first, where's the coffee machine?" Reagan seconded his appeal. "Right, I need my caffeine dose, stat!"
Almond: I'm all about walking that thin line along the city blocks where crime, passion and the law meet. You can talk about your Wiggums and Donut cops, but this cookie right here's the last of the hardboiled breed. I don't back down from dark alleys or thugs or smug upper crusts who think they can throw all the lettuce they can to grease the wheels of justice their way. Nope, not on my beat!
(the lights go out, Leslie screams in the background)
"Prepare for trouble, though the Team's downsized. Still, make it double, coz I'm coming for that prize!"
(the lights turn on)
"I'm here for that one million dollars!"
Leslie: Miss Jessie is here, and she is serving you looks and body-ody-ody. I am LIVING
"Hide your balls!" quipped Percy.
"I left mine at home. Not sure if that's a good or a bad thing," smirked Toshi.
Jessie: After Team Rocket decided to go on a hiatus, I decided to finally pursue my long-dreamt of career in show business. Total Drama is the perfect vehicle of assault for a young diva in the making, no?
Annabeth: The girl who spent twenty years trying to catch a yellow rat…. There's room for everybody, I guess…
Mermista: I just don't see how she's going to keep up with everyone here… I mean, she's all looks and loudness, but what else is she packing?
Jessie: I've been underestimated so many times in my life, and many times, that underestimation was warranted. But they'd better look out, coz they're looking at Jessie 2.0 here!
"I hope the rest of you haven't unpacked yet, because this is about to become The World According to Jessalina!"
Almond: I've seen her type before. She's the kinda dame who thinks men are weak and trusts her charms to slide her through anything. Well, she's about to run into a brick wall, like a Coney Island bumper car
"Cops and Robbers, y'all" said Percy.
"I am not some two-bit thief, you fishy twerp! I am a Pokemon Coordinator, a Trainer and an administrator at Team Rocket?"
Almond wasn't impressed. "A bunch of fancy titles don't hide the crime, sugar"
"Whatever. You're all at least lucky you'll be part of my magical ascent to stardom!"
On the word magical, a clumsy-looking boy plopped into existence in front of the door. He collected himself, showing his freckled face, ruddy nose, bucked front teeth and soft, dark brown hair
"Oh my, this isn't the Room of Requirement"
Almond sucked in his breath, "Oh, great sprinkles above, not this kid…"
Neville: My name is Neville Longbottom and you may be very surprised to see me here, but I believe I'm ready to show people I can stand on my own and succeed at this competition
Almond: Neville Longbottom's magical mishaps are known all the way to the Cookie Kingdom. We know, his grandmother baked many of our citizens, and let's just say Neville TRIED to make a few of us as well… The poor things… Can't even walk, or eat…
"I'm quite excited to be here, oh dear, where did I put my Mimbulus mimbletonia?!"
Mermista perked up. "I'm sorry, your WHAT"
Leslie explained "A cactus, a magical cactus. Squirts out magical sap that has a load of healing properties"
Leslie whispers to Percy and Jessie, "and a hell of a trip when inhaled"
Annabeth: Getting to meet a fully-fledged Hogwarts wizard is a treat in itself, but I was kind of hoping Hermione would come back because she was robbed in her season and we could've been like an unstoppable tag team together
Percy was excited to meet Neville, mostly because of the fabled Sword of Gryffindor.
"You may suck at magic, but I bet you could become an awesome swordsman! Let's spar sometime!"
Neville was horrified. "Oh, goodness, I couldn't. I might end up cutting someone!"
Percy: I feel Neville has to overcome his inner sabotwah
Annabeth: Saboteur
Percy: I prefer to say it as 'sabotwah'
Neville soon found his plant, "Oh, there it is!" putting the potted cactus next to Leslie. "I've never met a talking plant before!"
"Well, your Mimbletonia loves you very much…" said Leslie, "though she does say you drool in your sleep…" Annabeth laughed maniacally, and Percy put his arm around Neville, saying, "I think you and I are gonna get along…"
Jessie: I miss James. He's so good with plants, too. He'd like this twerp a lot…
A giant matryoshka doll enters the room. "Yass, come on, Russians!" said Leslie.
Annabeth stared at the doll. "Wonder who it is?"
"What's a Russian?" asked Mermista
Percy explained, "Big, strong people who drink vodka and ride bears". Mermista shrugged.
"They sound cool"
The matryoshka burst open, letting out a tall girl with black hair and a curvaceous body with big gaping holes in her outfit.
"It's great to meetryoshka you all!" said Momo Yaoyorozu. Annabeth screamed.
Momo: I'm Momo Yaoyorozu, from Musutafu, Japan. I'm here to represent MHA this season!
Annabeth ran up to hug Momo. "I can't believe it!"
Annabeth: Momo and I first met a few years ago at a science conference at Tokyo and we've been long-distance best friends ever since!
Momo: I just know this is going to be fun just because Annie's here!
Mermista sized her up. "So, you're like, a huge fan of stacking dolls?"
"Well, yeah. Matryoshka were the first things I mastered making"
"You're a toymaker?" piped Percy. Momo giggled.
"In a way", she said. "Watch"
A matryoshka plopped out of her arm onto her palm.
Percy was shook. "What sorcery is this"
Neville shook his head. "It's no sorcery. You can't create something out of nothing. Even I remember that"
Momo smiled. "He's right. I have a quirk, a superpower. I can use the lipids in my body to create any non-organic object I can think of, as long as I know its construction and chemical makeup"
"Whoa, hold up." Mermista gasped. "So if you got fat, you could just get rid of it by making a crapload of, say, toys?!"
"And then sell them for a quick buck?!" added Jessie.
Leslie was gagging. "A weight loss program that also makes you rich. What a power move. Sign me up for that!"
(Battle Hymn of the Republic starts blaring in the background)
"What's going on?"
"A god, maybe? They usually come with theme music" said Percy. A tall young man entered the room. He had sandy blond hair and a smile that could literally disarm. He was dressed in aviator attire, with a large "50" on the back of his jacket.
"Hello, multiverse! It's time for your daily dose of FREEDOM!" Cheeseburgers, Coke cans and donuts rain from the ceiling, out of nowhere.
Annabeth scoffed, "Don't tell me, you're the God of 'Diabetes from some pantheon we've never heard of before"
"Who cares, these burgers are straight-up bussin'" said Percy.
"I'm actually the greatest country on Earth, personified"
"You don't look Swiss or Norwegian to me"
Leslie: (plays shade rattle while cackling) Get her, Jade!
Alfred's face cracked. "I'm the United States, thank you."
Alfred: I'm sorry, England, but I can't let you beat me at my own game, I INVENTED reality TV. I just came here to dogwalk these kids and take home the crown. Whatever you come up with, Chris, I'll see it from a mile away!
Alfred began to traipse down the room, sizing up the competition. "Almond, love the noir look, that is so cool! Neville, I'm so glad you're here to witness my performance so I can send you home to give my brother a message!"
"What brother?"
Alfred snickered. "My boring older brother, the United Kingdom. He placed fifth last season, what a loser"
Annabeth stepped up. "You might not even make the Merge with that attitude"
Neville: See if I care… he can't be worse than Draco
"Baby girl, I invented reality TV. Y'all are just gonna be extras while I show you how a real TV hero does it"
Percy: Hero? This guy looks like he doesn't leave his room
Jessie swooned, "Hot, and cocky. I wonder if he can really walk the talk?"
"You can't change him, girlfriend," warned Leslie.
"Change him? I'll make him worse!"
Leslie: Jessie is a crackhead diva and I want her on my team
"What's up, y'all? Dijonay's in the house!"
A curvaceous young woman began to sashay down the hall into the room. She had loud blond hair in a tie-up, with smart, trendy clothing and a face that screamed "I AM the drama".
Dijonay: I am Dijonay Jones. I'm a Cali queen with New Orleans roots and THE maknae of the girl group LPDZ. I think I can WIN Total Drama Action because I am an icon and a hardworking, multitalented baddie
.
Toshi gasped.
Toshi: Okay, hold on, let me holler at her. Did I say that right?
"Where my sisters at? Mermista! We need to be reppin' Team Hot Girl Summer up in here!"
Mermista: I like this loud, onion-headed girl. I don't know what Hot Girl Summer is, but I'm living for it
Alfred beamed at her. "Dijonay Jones, right? Well, whaddya know, I'm a Jones, too!"
"Mmm, I didn't know I had a hot white cousin!"
Neville: My quiet, peaceful friend group was going well until the Americans arrived…
The next contestant walked in.
"I could hear the bleating from across the street!"
Alfred screamed. "OMFG, it's the goat! The GOAT!"
Sherb: I'm Sherb from ACNH. I woke up one morning with an invitation to Total Drama Action and I had to think for a hot minute because I don't remember auditioning. I think Raymond set me up…
"I'm so excited for Total Drama, this is a dream come true. Literally!"
Neville took a look at him. "Is your sweater part of your fur, or no?"
No, this sweater is my favorite, a gift from a friend. I love going everywhere with it!"
Leslie: A grey sweater? With blue hair? It's not stunning. #SweaterGate
Sherb began to snore then woke up. "Sorry, I'm also a huge narcoleptic but I'm so into theatre right now"
Leslie: The Jinkx Monsoon of Total Drama you are NOT. If he so much as sniffs my leaves with intent to eat, I'm sending his butt home! But then again, I'm being too hard, who can't resist taking a bite out of this fantasy?
Sherb: I have to keep moving, like a shark, or else I'll fall asleep (falls asleep)
Cameraman: Sherb? Sherb?!
Almond patted him on the back. "A month at boot camp will do you good, kid. Goats are supposed to be energetic and athletic"
"Like this?" asked a voice from above. Everyone looked up.
A girl somersaulted from the ceiling and landed in a perfect split on the floor.
Leslie was gagged. "DID SHE JUST JUMP FROM THERE, I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT"
Dijonay countered, "Well, guess what, Leslie? She just did". Leslie laughed.
Ty Lee: I'm Ty Lee, I'm a performer, acrobat and all-around softie from the Fire Nation. Yes, you heard right, the Fire Nation
Ty Lee cartwheeled towards them. "It's so nice to meet you all! I've wanted to join Total Drama after I watched Season One on TV"
Percy asked. "You guys have TV there?"
Ty Lee nodded. "Since the Unification"
Momo spoke "You must have some sort of Quirk that makes you so flexible"
Ty Lee shook her head. "I'm actually powerless where I come from. I'm a non-bender. My real power is… well… you'll see later on"
Ty Lee: Okay, I'm not dumb. I'll get sent home if all these benders found out what I could do to them in a fight. I wanna make some friends first
Annabeth: I think I remember what Ty Lee's ability is, but it's at the tip of my tongue…
"Greetings…." droned a new voice.
Everyone looked at the door. A figure walked in hiding behind an umbrella.
"My message to the surface world is quite simple…"
"OHAYO!" yelled Alphys as she threw the umbrella away
Toshi nodded, as if seeing a yellow, human-sized talking dinosaur was completely normal to him. "Ohayo to you, too…"
Alphys: I'm Alphys, I'm from Hotland, where I used to work as King Asgore's Royal Scientist. These days, I'm spending more time on the surface to help the monster community adjust to their new life. I think I can win Total Drama Action because I bring something new to the table, and that is the power of Determination and anime on my side
"You're like, some sort of living dinosaur?"
"Percy, you can't just run around asking people if they're dinosaurs"
Alphys pushed her glasses. "Whatever my race was called is lost to time. I'm one of the last of my kind from down there, and none of us remember because we've sort of just got used to calling ourselves "monsters", collectively"
"You're not monstrous at all," defended Ty Lee.
"We claim it as a name for ourselves, though it was the humans in the past that gave us the name. We don't really take it as a negative term anymore"
Alphys: I discovered Total Drama when my computer picked up on its stream after moving aboveground. There's so much anime to see. The best part of being here is getting to meet real anime characters!
"Omigosh. Momo, Jessie, I'm shaking right now. Do you think Mew Mew Kissy Cutie might get invited to compete? Omigosh I would die!"
Alphys: I'm a loud and proud otaku
Toshi: She's a lusty Argonian maid with a passion for anime… Is this heaven or what?
"Hope you've packed your bags, coz I'm winning this whole thing!"
Fire burst from the doors, and from the smoke emerged a young man with sharp teeth and salmon-pink hair. He wore a sleeveless waistcoat and knee-length pants, with a scarf to wrap it all up.
Leslie: He looks like he tripped over a shelf at Hot Topic and said "I'm finna kill 'em with this look!"
"I'm just here to burn shit up!" announced Natsu Dragneel.
Alphys was screaming
Toshi: Enter the dragon…
Alfred: Hold up, now. Make room, coz this homeboy's bringin the heat!
Natsu: I traveled all the way from Ishgar to show Gray how easy it is to Merge. I think I can win Total Drama because I am indestructible. Literally.
Natsu surveyed the room. "Alright, listen up y'all. Fairy Tail is here to take that crown!"
"Where your squad at?" asked Dijonay
"We felt sorry for you, so it's just me!"
"Oh, that's thoughtful," muttered Percy
Annabeth patted him on the shoulder. "Save it for the challenge," she said.
"Y'all needed a wizard here, coz all I see are some tired, boring swordsmen!"
Percy: At least I AM a swordsman! Go back to Wizard City, where you belong!
Neville stepped forward. "Well, you're not the only wizard here, you know"
"Oh, and you're like the wizard of what? Tea and biscuits?"
Neville: Every wizard thinks their home town has the best magic, but Mr. Dragneel over here doesn't have half the talent the Hogwarts wizards have
Neville stood his ground. "House Gryffindor is here to conquer!"
"GryffinBORE is getting eliminated in two weeks, okay?"
Leslie: This fire wizard's here taking smack to everybody and this is gonna be a shitshow
"HERE COMES THE PARTY!" yelled a voice as a bazooka fired at the crowd.
"TAKE COVER, Y'ALL!" Alfred dived for the table.
They expected to die right there. What they DID not expect was for Natsu to swallow the charge whole, making it disappear down his gullet.
A girl flew over everyone, as if launched by an explosion
She had dark skin and dreadlocks. She wore loud orange clothes and looked as if she had just beat up a crew of auto mechanics in the dirt. The girl laughed. "I've never seen anyone EAT one of my rockets before! Well, not literally"
Raze: I'm Tayana Alves, but my friends call me Raze. I'm representing Brazil and the VALORANT Protocol, baby!
Reagan cheered. "Great to have you here, girl. How's KJ?"
"Oh, man, she's fine. I hear they're babysitting Gekko's pets in the meantime. We don't have any operations at the moment so I decided, fuck it, let me join TDFA, right? I saw Jett last season and I could tell she had a great time!"
Reagan: Yo, this whole place is about to be shook. Raze may be short, but that bitch is FIERCE, okay?
Natsu wiped the last flecks of the explosive from his mouth. "I need to have the recipe for that thing, that was delicious"
Raze: I'm an explosives expert and I love nothing more than tinkering around, making things work again, and making something new and cool out of what other people would call junk.
Raze scratched the back of her head. "It's kinda top-secret. Could I interest ya in a recipe for acaraje instead?"
Percy shook his head "Didn't know Leo had a twin sister"
"Oh, Valdez? I met him at a chainsaw convention once. Talented guy"
"They have conventions for chainsaws?" asked a terrified Neville.
Alfred made a happy gesture. "Of course they do. Chainsaws are the best!"
"There's something better than chainsaws!" The lights turned off and spotlights began shining on the doorway.
"And now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for. Please put your hands together for The Incomparable Squidward!"
"Who?"
Squidward entered the room wearing a large alien mask
Leslie: Omigosh, I am your biggest fan, I- wait. That's not Vivacious?
Squidward pulled down a zipper undoing his mask. "Squidward…" he began as he popped a fan open "…has arrived"
They all stared.
"You may now start gagging on this Eleganza"
Leslie: I am living for this delusion. I am sipping this sea-salted caramel fantasy, henny
Squidward: I am Squidward Tentacles, of Bikini Bottom. I am an actor, artist, cultural activist, dancer, and all-around star
Jessie cheered. "Come through, you fabulous-looking Tentacruel!"
Squidward: Looking at all the contestants' reactions, I can tell they're gagged to see an OG Nicktoon star in the lineup. I've come to collect this reality TV crown and crown myself ruler of all artistic media!
Annabeth took one final look at the room of contestants and put away her pen and notebook. "Alright, that's a wrap"
"What do you mean?" asked Percy.
"The contract says there's eighteen campers this season. All eighteen of us are here now."
Already, the eighteen campers were forming cliques. Alfred, Raze and Natsu gravitated towards each other. Squidward was chatting with Leslie and Jessie. Percy and Annabeth were hoping to get Neville, Ty Lee and Momo on their team.
Suddenly, the lights turned off and strange, chanting voices start playing. The lights turn on again and the players are surrounded by hooded figures with circles, triangles and squares covering their faces.
Almond reached for his belt. "What in tarnation?!"
"It's the freaking Squid Games, dudes!"
"Holy shit, my friends back at the protocol loved that show, but isn't this Total Drama Action?"
As if on cue, Chris stepped out in a black hooded outfit.
"You're right, Raze! And TDA is all about paying homage to the great shows. This time around, we're doing both iconic films AND shows. Now, Squid Game is, well, I LOVE IT TO PIECES. So I decided to use it for the premiere episode!"
Alphys stammered, "Are we gonna get killed?!"
Chris shook his head. "Heck, no. Where will I get contestants for All-Stars? That's literally the only problem I have with Squid Games. No All Stars potential!"
Chris gestured all around them as the field changed and a vast playground-like grounds emerged all around. "The eighteen of you were selected from all over the Multiverse to compete in this season, and I'm excited to see the drama, the action and the total package from every single one of you! Not a filler player in sight!"
Annabeth: I call bullshit. I can name like five people here whom I'm sure will be the first five to go home. But then again, that's all part of my plan…
"I hope you guys are ready because we're jumping in right now! Your first challenge this season will be to play "Red Light, Green Light" with Chef!" Chef stood on the opposite side of the field, wearing a girly outfit and a menacing slime gun.
Leslie quipped "The category is: Terry Crews on the Prairie realness" Squidward and Jessie laughed:
Percy: And I thought it would be hard
Chef spoke up. "Listen up, fresh meat! While I'm singing, y'all can move any way you want, though you may want to run straight for the line to safety! When I stop singin', all y'all will stop, too, or else I'm gonna shoot you between the eyes with this slime gun!"
"First three to cross the line win a special prize! " added Chris. The eighteen campers line up at the starting point.
"Here we go!"
"Why are you so far away from your boyfriend?" Ty Lee asked Annabeth.
"Oh, just cause…"
Annabeth: The last thing we wanna do is show how strong we are together. Flying under the radar will be our goal until the Merge
Chef began to sing
Mama's little baby love shortnin, shortnin. Mama's little baby love shortnin, bread
Dijonay, knowing this song by heart from her aunts in Louisiana, ran and stopped just as the final line wrapped up. Mermista, Raze, Sherb and Percy were not familiar with the tune and got shot.
Chris cheered "Ooooh! Four down!"
Annabeth glared at Percy in disbelief. "Are you kidding me?!"
"I got carried away"
Mama's little baby love shortnin, shortnin. Mama's little baby love shortnin, bread
Squidward, Jessie and Leslie were voguing to the song and stopping right on beat
"Go onward, Jesslieward!" cheered Leslie.
"Jesslieward?" asked Jessie.
Squidward nodded "It's the prescription drug for people who are gagging on reality TV!"
"Sounds like an STD!" yelled Reagan as she jogged past them.
Chef stopped and shot Alfred. Ty Lee tripped. Neville lunged forward to catch her by the scruff of her blouse.
"Thank you"
"Don't mention it, I-WHOOAA-" They tripped over and fell.
Ty Lee and Neville were both slimed. Meanwhile, Almond was running, rolling and sliding, stopping right on time.
Almond: This is as easy as pie. Knowing when to stop and run is essential for law enforcers
Mama's little baby love shortnin, shortnin. Mama's little baby love shortnin, bread
Dijonay, Jessieward and Alphys were slimed next
"Go on, save yourself!" Alphys yelled at Toshi.
"Okay then"
In the end, Annabeth, Momo and Reagan reached the finish line first, almost within a hairbreadth of each other.
Annabeth: Yes! One win down
Momo: Wonder what the prize is
Reagan: I can't let these superpowered campers think I'm dead weight
Chris clapped his hands. "Alright! Annabeth, Momo and Reagan, you win our first challenge! Now, as your prize, you get to pick your teams!"
Annabeth: Team captain, yes! This will make my plan even easier!
"Annabeth, pick one from the fifteen who didn't make it"
"I choose… Neville"
Neville: What
Percy: WHAT
Chris nodded "Neville, join Annabeth on her team. Momo, you're up!"
"This is real ballsy, but I choose Percy"
"Per-cy-per-per! Just kidding, thanks"
Percy: I don't know what Annabeth's up to, but I trust her. Let her cook
Chris turned to the Cognito agent "Reagan?"
"I choose Alfred"
Alfred stretched his arms. "What's more American than a little conspiracy?"
"Leslie"
"Squidward"
"Jessie"
The three friends were separated instantly by this turn of events.
Leslie: I'm not worried. Rolaskatox weren't always on the same team. I'm in my Alaska era. Jessie's Roxxy because her mom left her at Rocket HQ and Squiddy is detox coz I'm sure that nose is silicone
Annabeth chose Dijonay
Momo chose Mermista
Reagan chose Raze
Dijonay: Annabeth be right to pick me, I'mma show Raze and Mermista who the real baddie is this season!
Jessie saw that Momo's team had both Percy and Mermista. 'Making a rain team, Momo? That's not meta right now"
Annabeth called Alphys
"Thank you for believing in me," said the royal scientist.
"Ty Lee"
"It's nice not to be Team Fire for a change!"
Reagan chose Natsu
"Let's blow this joint!"
Almond: I didn't really expect to be in the last picks, but I guess you need to show them what you've got, first. Alright then, I'll do just that
Annabeth chose Sherb
Annabeth: How can I say no to that face? I miss Grover
Sherb: I'm a huge fan of Grover's environmentalist podcasts
Momo chose Toshi, who bowed.
Reagan looked at the last camper and shrugged. "And I guess I'll take Almond"
"Alright! Now, make a team name for yourselves!"
"We are… Team Victory!" cheered Annabeth and her team.
"2.0, since there already was a Team Victory," clarified Sherb.
Neville did not take that fact well. "Didn't those guys get wiped out?"
Dijonay rolled her eyes. "Look here, Tom Holland. We got Annabeth motherfucking Chase, a talking goat and flower and most importantly, ME. Does this look like a team of fillers to ya?"
Momo spoke up. "We are the-"
Mermista butted in " KILLER WHALES! Sorry, I had to be the one to say it"
Mermista: Now just because she won a stupid footrace doesn't mean Momo will be calling all the shots all season
Percy smiled, "Fierce. I like it"
Toshi rubbed his hands, "We'll eat them raw"
"Like sushi?" asked Ty Lee
"I was trying not to be a stereotype, but yes, very much like sushi"
Squidward popped his fan again. "Killer Whales are here to slay!"
All six of Reagan's team yelled in unison "WE ARE THE SCREAMING ROCKETS!"
Raze cheered. "Loca! I love it!"
Chris nodded. "Alright, love the names! Without further ado, the three teams here will compete in more challenges based on Squid Game. The team with the most points wins a special prize, an all-you-can-eat hotpot buffet awaits you for dinner! Middle team is safe, and the losing team will be sending someone home!" He led them to a new stage of the games. "As you know, dudes," he said, "the next stage is the honeycomb candy lick! One crack and you're out! But the Squid Games didn't think BIG enough, so I upgraded the challenge! Oh, interns!"
A bunch of Squid Game guards entered the room, dragging along three giant metal pans.
Toshi: That is the mother of all dalgona…
Neville: Gran would kill me if she found out how much candy was here…
The Rockets sized up the giant cans. "Correct me if I'm wrong," began Almond, "but the goal is to give that hunk of sugar a licking until the shape falls out, right?"
"Correctamundo, Sam Spade!" replied Alfred.
"How are we gonna get through this?" groaned Reagan. Raze pondered this for a second. Jessie smiled. "Let me worry about that, girls! I might just have a trick up my sleeve!"
Chris called for their attention. "Campers! You'll take a pick out of these three giant dalgona tins and will try to lick the pattern free without breaking it! First team to finish wins two points, second gets one point and last gets no points! Annabeth, you and your team get the first pick!"
Annabeth pursed her lips in thought. "Alright, I pick the middle tin"
Chris nodded. "Show me the middle tin!" The middle tin contained a triangle.
Dijonay: Annabeth that was straight-up voodoo, what you just did
Sherb gasped. "How'd you know?"
Annabeth shrugged. "I'm kinda good at picking these things after all my experience picking my way through underground labyrinths…"
"Alright, Momo's up next!"
Momo shouted The third one!
"Show me Number Three!" The third tin was a star.
Squidward: A star! Perfectly apropos to the team with me in it
Chris giggled at the Rockets. Alright, Reagan that means your team gets the first tin, oh interns!". The first tin was the umbrella
Alfred: We might be in a teensy-weensy bit of trouble
Almond scoffed at their grumbling. "Oh, it'll be fine! You just have to lick it like you're doing a quick jimmy with a saucy tomato's gams!"
Jessie tilted her head. "I have no idea what you just said but go off"
"And remember! If anything breaks, these guys will slime you!" yelle dChris, who was now on an elevated platform watching the fun. The guards aimed their guns menacingly.
Annabeth's team wasted no time getting started. While Neville wanted to cast a spell to make the candy fall off, Annabeth didn't want to risk it, plus she didn't want Neville using the team's secret weapon (his magic) that early in the game. Annabeth instead had Sherb and Alphys put their tongues to use, goats and lizards having naturally-adept licking mechanics. They worked one end of the candy, while she, Neville and Dijonay worked the other. Leslie would be positioning their vines to catch the candy shape once it falls off since being a plant, they could not consume sugar directly.
The Screaming Rockets were also getting to it. Alfred was licking like there was no tomorrow, which Jessie found distracting (in a good way). Raze, Almond and Natsu were also putting in good work. Reagan chipped away at the edges, nibbling instead of just licking. Jessie laughed.
Jessie: It's time to show this team I'm their ace in the hole!
Jessie reached into her waist pocket and threw a Pokeball into the air. "Go, Licktung!" The others stopped as the pink blob emerged from its ball. Alfred clapped his hands. "Cool, a real live Pokemon! It's one of the lame ones, though"
"You take that back! Just because you're one hot piece of ass doesn't mean you get to talk smack about my precious Pokemon!"
"Okay, I take it back, but only coz you said I'm hot, babe (finger guns)"
Reagan: If they start screwing in the middle of the challenge, I am going to kill them
Lickitung began to lick away at the dalgona, making terrifyingly quick progress. The Killer Whales were alarmed by the progress the Rockets were making. As fast as they licked, they were not about to beat the tongue creature that was eating away at the Rockets' dalgona. Toshi's eyes lit up.
"I got it! Percy, Mermista, you guys can control any liquid, right?"
"Sure"
"Yup"
"Does that include saliva?"
Mermista scratched her head, "I have no idea"
"Yes"
Mermista was taken aback. "Percy, what the f-"
Percy kept talking. "But the power nerfs are in effect and I can only bend a little bit"
Toshi adjusted his glasses. "A little's all we need. Listen, I need you two to create little shurikens with your saliva". The two complied and formed their shurikens.
Mermista: This is gross
Percy: This is cool
"Now, we need you to will those shurikens to spin really fast like fidget spinners!"
Squidward was fighting to understand Toshi's logic. "What'll that do?" Momo answered for him. "He's right. The sugar will melt upon contact with the high-speed saliva! We can saw the candy right out with that. Brilliant, Toshi, brilliant!"
Toshi: I like being me sometimes
Annabeth gasped as she saw what the Whales were up to. She bit her lip and had to smile, because Toshi and Momo had come up with a hell of a good strategy.
"OH NO, WE'RE LOSING TO FIDGET SPINNERS! PICK UP THE PACE, LADIES! " groaned Leslie. Percy and Mermista deftly cut the candy shape out with their saliva-fidget spinner-shurikens. Shortly after that, Jessie's Lickitung finished the job and cut out the Rockets' candy.
Chris clapped his hands in satisfaction. "And that wraps up the first round. Whales get two points, Rockets one point and Team Victory gets zilch!"
Annabeth: Oh, that's alright. We can catch up later. I just needed to gauge everyone's strengths and weaknesses
Percy: And they said fidget spinners were a fad
Jessie: Darn it, my poor Lickitung put that hard work up for nothing!
Chris led them to the next room. It was two raised platforms, with a floor tens of meters down.
Toshi took a deep breath. "Ah, the Tug of War game," Leslie groaned. "Oh no, my cuticles will get raked!"
Dijonay raised an eyebrow. "Girl, what cuticles, you're a plant". "The waxy skin of a plant's leaves are also called cuticles," Annabeth explained.
"I can charm your leaves so you'll grow thick, knobby vine-arms to pull with," offered Neville. Annabeth shook her head. "Let's not pull out our trump card just yet, Neville. Leslie, we'll just tie the rope's end to your pot and you'll be at the back of the line. That sound good?"
"Yes, thank you"
Chris cleared his throat to catch their attention. "The three teams will go round-robin fighting each other. Each win is worth one point. Rockets vs. Victory first!"
The Rockets huddled up. "This is good," whispered Reagan. "We have Natsu and Alfred. Everybody else, just make sure neither of them do anything stupid! "
Natsu huffed. "Pfft, like what?"
"Burn the rope and cost us the game"
"Good point"
Annabeth had her team huddle as well. "Alright, guys, just as we planned. Leslie at the back, try to root yourself a little. Neville, no magic just yet until I give the signal. Dijonay, Sherb and Alphys, pull as hard as you can. Understood?"
"Aye aye, captain!"
The Rockets and the Victors stood opposite of each other as Chris gave the signal
Annabeth got ready. "Alright, on three, one tw-"
It happened far too fast for even Annabeth to react. The combined strength of Alfred and Natsu was enough to yank all six Victors off the platform and hurtling to the floor below
Alfred rolled on the floor, laughing. "LMFAO, did y'all see that?"
Natsu was with him. "We reverse-yeeted those losers!"
Percy: The next person who calls Annabeth a loser… (brandishes Riptide) I'll be under your bed tonight…
Neville landed on the ball pit first, with Leslie and Sherb crashing onto him. Annabeth tumbled into a roll and landed on her feet. Dijonay tried and succeeded in copying Annabeth. Alphys landed headfirst into the ballpit
Annabeth immediately checked on her team, "Oww, are you guys ok?"
Leslie flailed on the floor, picking up pieces of their flower pot. "NO MY PETALS ARE FRACKED, MY LEAVES ARE SNATCHED AND MY STEM IS SICKENING, AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY!"
"Well, in the words of Monet X Change, soak it up, bitch!" retorted Dijonay. "Coz we still got another fight coming, with the Whales!"
Chris continued "Alright, next up, the Rockets face the Whales!"
Reagan nodded. "Same thing this time"
The Whales huddled up
"I'm not letting that walking smoke machine get away with dissing MY girlfriend" said Percy
"It is your duty to avenge that dishonor," said Toshi. "But can you stand against the spirit of the USA and the mightiest of the Dragonslayers?"
Percy smiled grimly "I've felled gods before…"
Mermista: He's kinda hot when he's pissed. Kinda…
Percy: Wow, that was way too edgy…
Ty Lee stretched her arms. "Really, there's an easy way to win this. Let them waste their own energy trying to brute-force us like they did the other team, then when they're out of gas, BAM!"
Momo nodded "I say we go with Ty Lee's plan"
Mermista spoke up. "I got a plan of my own, but it goes right with Ty Lee's"
"And that is?"
Mermista rolled her eyes. "Just trust me on this one"
The Whales and the Rockets squared off, and just as Ty Lee predicted, the Rockets tried a hyper-offensive attack on them, but Squidward's suction cups held them safely, even against Natsu and Alfred pulling. Mermista and Squidward nodded at each other.
"Hey, Natsu!" Mermista jeered, "Percy says he's gonna kick your ass later when we're done!"
Natsu let go of rope to shake his fist at them. "Oh yeah? Well tell him-"
"NOW, PERCY!"
Percy gave one single, vicious pull. It was like the tug of the riptide, irresistible. The Rockets were instantly dragged and fell to their defeat on the ball pit below.
Jessie was pissed. "Nice going, Natsu. You're lucky I'm used to crashing from the sky!"
"Oh, come on, those guys were asking for it"
"Kid, you need to learn when to shrug off a taunt," lectured Almond. "Coz that fishy dame earlier was obviously setting you up for a grilling!"
Chris' voice boomed from the sound system. "One point for the Whales! Now it's Whales vs. Victors!"
Percy warned them "Now, remember, Annabeth's on the other side of this rope. Expect the unexpected"
Mermista rolled her eyes. "What's she gonna do? Shout math equations at us?"
"Maybe she's gonna give us Mayhem Miller death-stares with those gray eyes of hers," quipped Leslie.
Percy remained grim. "Either of those is in the realm of possibility. Stay alert".
Whales versus Victors. They held on tight to the rope as Chris gave the go signal. Once again, Squidward's suction cups anchored the Whales, so that they could exhaust the Victors, but Annabeth finally gave Neville his go signal. He flicked his wand.
Squidward began to tremble. "What the? I'm getting itchy. GUYS I'M LOSING MY GRIP!"
Annabeth thought quickly. "Sherb, keep us anchored!" Annabeth took a deep breath. She so hated doing this, but her team desperately needed a point. She gave the biggest, saddest looking eyes she could to Percy, and Percy accidentally dropped the rope.
The Whales groaned as they recovered. Toshi bonked Percy on the head with a bo stick.
"Simp!"
Chris laughed. "Alright, it's one point each, so now it's Whales with three, Rockets with two and Victors with one point!"
The next challenge was the marble challenge, but Chris asked them to choose one representative each to convince the other two to surrender their marbles. The Victors chose Annabeth, which caused the Whales to immediately keep Percy from competing. They sent Ty Lee instead. The Rockets chose Alfred.
Alfred: I'm about to sell those two a deal they can't refuse. When I want something, I get it…
Alfred, Ty Lee and Annabeth entered the room, and five minutes later, Alfred and Ty Lee came out and collapsed on the floor
Alfred: MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE THE NERD STOP!
Ty Lee: (groaning and putting her hands on her temples)
Annabeth came out, holding their marbles
"What the Hades did you do to them?" asked Percy.
Oh, I discussed the arguments on the Bootstrap Paradox with them just to lighten the mood and-"
Percy shook his head "That is a war crime, what you did"
"It's just basic philoso-"
"A WAR CRIME, WOMAN! A WAR CRIME!"
"Alright. That's three points for the Victors, which means they are now ahead with four points. Now, onto the last challenge!" Chris brought them to another room with a chasm. The end of the room was bridged to the entrance only by three sets of glass panels, with three rows each.
Momo nodded. "The glass hopscotch challenge"
Chris nodded back. "That's right, Momo. The first team to get all members across wins. If you fall, you must run all the way back up and get back in line. Ready, set, GO!"
The Whales began their strategy. Squidward and Ty Lee paved the way, with Squidward's suction cups letting him hang on and Ty Lee using her acrobatics to weave through the panels as Squidward identified the traps. Annabeth pulled out her knife and tried to divine the right tiles. With no luck, she asked Neville to attempt the Revelio charm, but it failed. Sherb volunteered to go himself, falling at the first tile. Raze pulled out her Boombot and had it skid through the tiles, setting off the traps and revealing the safe tiles. The Rockets were leading, with the Whales close behind. The Victors were still only at the third tile.
Raze cheered. "Come on, guys, we can do it!"
The tiles trembled under their weight and Natsu began to get nauseous. "I don't feel so good (falls off tile)"
Alfred watched his new friend fall onto the ball pit below. " NOOOOOOOOO!"
The Whales all crossed to the finish line. Squidward leapt for joy. Mermista and Momo high-fived each other. Percy dabbed.
Annabeth desperately tried to get the Victors to at least come second, but Natsu got back up on the podium and did the spectacular: Fire burst out of his hands, propelling him forward and landing on the finish line. The Rockets had come second. Meanwhile, Leslie was still putting the shards of their pot back together after they fell, and Sherb was chewing on a torn leaf. Neville was giving first aid to Dijonay, who had fainted.
"With five points, the Killer Whales win the challenge. Rockets and Victors are tied with three!"
Chris gathered the eighteen campers on the stage. It was a magnificent outdoor amphitheater, which Annabeth was quick to tell them about, alongside the history of amphitheaters and their unique acoustic effects. Alphys took careful notes with her pen and pad.
"Campers, one team rose above the rest. Killer Whales, you win the challenge and can proceed later to the hotpot buffet you'll be having for dinner!"
Ty Lee: Oh, goodie, I was starting to get starved
Percy: I hope there's blue lemonade
Mermista: I hope it's not a seafood hotpot, coz you know…
"One of you rose above the rest. One camper led their team to victory with their quick thinking and leadership skills. The winner of this week's challenge is… MOMO!"
Toshi: I can live with Momo-chan winning over me
Percy: Meh, there's lots of challenges left to win. What's important is everyone's safe from elimination
Momo fell on her knees, exhausted. "Thank you, Chris"
Chris nodded and continued. "Winners get ten thousand dollars added to their take-home package upon elimination. Now, Rockets and Victors, you're tied, luckily we've got just the tiebreaker for you. Pick a representative!"
The Rockets chose Almond, the Victors chose Sherb.
Almond stretched his back, "Leave it to me, kids, dad's bringing home the bacon!"
Sherb stretched too, " I'll do my best!"
Chris brought them to an outdoor playing field. "The final game is the Squid Game itself!" The field had a giant chalk outline of Squidward drawn on it. Sherb stood on one end, Almond on another.
Squidward at them "If either of you mess up my figure, I will strangle you!"
Chris' voice boomed over the intercom. "The goal is to cross over to the other end of the field while hopping on one foot and waving these balloon swords at each other. First to reach the other end wins!"
Almond: Nothing personal, kid
The two immediately began to hop towards the center, Sherb veering sideways, but Almond pulled onto him and began hitting Sherb with the balloon. Sherb desperately tried to parry, but he fell over. Almond hopped like a madman towards the other end. Almond won.
Raze leapt for joy, "Alright, ya old brioche!"
"Way to go, boomer!" cheered Alfred and Natsu.
Chris clapped his hands "Congratulations, Rockets, you are safe for this week. Team Victory, I'm afraid you will have to nominate someone to go home. Start voting!"
Annabeth: The weak link is Sherb
Dijonay: Leslie
Alphys: Dijonay
Leslie: Dijonay
Sherb: Dijonay
Neville: Sherb
"The votes are in! Annabeth, Alphys and Neville, you are safe, here's your trophies!"
"Thank the gods"
"Tttthank y-you, Chris"
"Oooh, human chocolate!"
Chris turned to the remaining contestants. "Leslie, you cost your team the win in the hopscotch challenge. Sherb, you lost the tiebreaker, and Dijonay, you were just weak overall. Who goes home?"
"Leslie, you're safe"
"Thank you for believing in me"
Leslie: Ugh, I'm in my Jan era…
"Dijonay and Sherb, I'm sorry but you are this season's first bottom two. Your fate is in the audience's hands now. We'll call you back after a while for the results. Enjoy your dinner, campers!"
As it turned out, Chef had not had the time to prepare dinner after all the rooms he had to prepare for the games, so the Rockets and Victors were on their own.
Raze groaned. "Man, anybody got some snacks here?" Alfred had a twinkle in his eye. "Leave it to me, baby!" He produced cheeseburgers, fries, sodas and apple pies out of his backpack. There was more than enough for them as the food literally exploded from the bag.
"I haven't had such a feast since Wobbuffet Village," said Jessie between bites
Reagan cleared her throat. "Well, at least we're all safe. Don't worry, I'm sure we can win next time"
"She's right," said Jessie. "In Team Rocket, we had to deal with failure after failure, but if I've learned anything from my old career, it's that one day your big break will come up!"
"Daff's da spi-it Jesshy" said Natsu with his mouth full.
Alfred turned to Raze. "What do you think we should do differently next time?"
"I don't think we did anything wrong. The Whales were just better. So we just gotta do it better. Like Brimstone always said, you gotta be better than the person you were yesterday!"
"Wise words, we'd do well to heed 'em" said Almond
"I'm posting that on my Instagram" said Alfred.
The Whales enjoyed their hotpot dinner.
"This reminds of that night after we won the kuai ball tournament at the Ember Island resort"
"Was that the one where Azula monologues about the 'ashes of your defeat'?" asked Percy with his mouth full.
"Yeah," Ty giggled. "She could be so funny when she wanted too, but I kinda think she meant it"
"Whatever happened to the fire princess after the war?" asked Toshi
"Well, I think she ran off with some ghosts"
"Cool," said Mermista. "But enough of Azula and her constant need for attention. What's your story?"
Ty Lee told them about her six identical siblings and her childhood-long struggle to find her own identity. Squidward told her it reminded him of his own yearnings for stardom as a child, while Percy compared it to the troubles some demigods have sharing cabins with siblings who have the same, if not better, powers and abilities.
"That's why I kinda feel so nervous being here, I mean you are all some super-powered individuals" said Ty Lee.
"But you're here with us," said Percy. "You're super, too"
"We're all in the same caliber," added Momo.
"Except for Squidward," said Toshi. They all laughed.
"Don't make me turn into Sour Note, little man," said Squidward, but even he was laughing because he got the reference.
Squidward: You never run around telling other people you went to art school. Take it from someone who went to art school
Ty Lee had to smile. She thought she would be a stranger from a strange land, but on her first day on the island, she was already part of a family.
The Victors were in the biggest slump of the three groups. Neville found a stray burger and used the duplication charm to make a small feast for the team.
Leslie stirred their drink. "So we just gonna stare at each other like it's the cocktail lounge at the Shade Tree?"
Alphys shivered. "Oooh, is this the part where we fight and say "You should be in the bottom, yadda yadda yadda?" Coz that stuff makes me anxious"
Dijonay looked up from her drink. "Well I think someone else should be in the bottom…"
Annabeth decided to let them spill their guts. "Spill"
Dijonay took a breath, "I wasn't the one running around crying about cuticles and torn leaves, so…"
(shade rattle)
"Well, bitch, at the end of the day, I'm sitting here safe and you're in the bottom" countered Leslie
Dijonay scoffed. "Do you THINK you should be safe after all the moping you did?"
Sherb was chewing a tin can nervously.
Sherb: I can't stand conflict. Just nap it out!
Dijonay went on. "I was out there all day doing what I could to help the team and you were just sitting around, either crying "woe is me" or making obscure Drag Race references nobody asked for!"
Annabeth: (sips drink shadily)
Leslie: Could I just say one thing so I can get this thing off my stem for the rest of the competition?
Leslie: I have done my fair share of the work and, girl, I nearly got killed more times than any of you today, so I need you to know one hundred percent I'm no deadweight (throws drink at Dijonay), bitch!
Dijonay: (throws drink at Leslie)
Leslie: Oh, throw liquid at the plant, that will really do some damage
Neville: Gran, come pick me up, I'm scared
Dijonay: Wilted-ass flower!
Leslie: At least I AM a flower, bitch! Go back to Ghetto city where you belong!
Dijonay: Who you calling ghetto?
Annabeth: Ghettoes are places, Leslie. Don't call someone a place
Leslie: That behind's big enough to be its own city block!
Dijonay: You belong on a crack on the sidewalk, you weed!
Sherb: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! At the end of the flipping day it does not matter diddly-squat, Leslie. I'm in the bottom with Dijonay, not you. And all of you, Leslie's safe, leave them alone, I'm trying to worry about Sherb. What about me? WHAT ABOUT SHERBIE? SHERBIE FEELS VERY ATTACKED!
Neville: Relax, relax. Count to ten and take a deep breath
Sherb: I can't believe I let Team ACNH down. Bottom two on the first week, didn't Raymond do that, too? Still, they can forgive Raymond because he's so cool and everybody likes him. I can't lose!
Dijonay: I don't deserve to be in the bottom, gang! Come on, save me, guys!
The bell rang, and the campers were called back onto the stage. Chris was reading the results off a printed piece of paper.
"Campers. The People have spoken."
Dijonay and Sherb held hands.
"Dijonay, I'm sorry. Your time on the stage is over"
Leslie: Haha! Bye bitch!
They both cried. "Sherb, you're safe. Rejoin the Victors. Dijonay, any exit lines?"
"To my fellow Victors… y'all shady as fuck, and you know it. Whales and Rockets?"
"Yes, ma'am?"
"RIP RIP REE, KICK 'EM IN THE KNEE, RIP RIP RASS, KICK 'EM IN THE ASS! I'M OUTTA HERE, BITCHES!
Chris nodded. "Alright, Dijonay, it's time to go to the Lame-o-Sine!"
The Lame-o-Sine arrived and Dijonay embarked upon it. The seventeen campers waved as she was driven away…
It's so freaking rigged. I was working my ass off tryna help those fools, and they voted me off over that flower?! I shoulda been the Leshawna of this season! Whatever, it's not like I cared very much about that from the start. I'm an established celebrity, I don't need this gig…
Chris McLean looked into the camera. "As they say, one down, seventeen to go! Tune in next week for our next challenge! It's
Not
Of
Planet
Earth!"