Hi readers! Sorry it has been so long since the last chapter, but life is super busy. I just wanted to say - I haven't given up on Marina and Philip yet!
"I'm going to London."
"What?" Marina looked up from feeding Celeste her morning oatmeal.
"I'll talk to Lord Broughley. He is a judge, and an acquaintance of Lord Reginald's. Perhaps he can talk some sense into him. And failing that – I will find you some better representation than I."
Marina pursed her lips and looked at Celeste. She wasn't sure she would get anyone better than Philip to represent her, but he would do what he thought was right.
"Will you check in on Mrs. Abernathy while you are there?" she asked.
"I should."
Marina nodded, and held out another spoon of oatmeal to Celeste. "Don't… Don't let her feel guilty. For what happened."
"Should I kick her in the shin?" Philip asked wryly.
Marina laughed, trying to avoid the ugly feelings writhing in her chest. What was this? Jealousy? Anger? "If that's what it takes…"
After Philip left for London she took Celeste out for a walk in town. She stayed on the main street, where she wouldn't be alone, fearful of meeting Mr. Abernathy again. Still, she was unwilling to be trapped in her house.
She slept in Philip's bed that night, soothed by the smell of him surrounding her. If things went badly, she might never sleep here again. She would have to have another talk with Philip, to figure out what to do if she had to leave, what to do with Celeste if she couldn't stay…
A sob tore its way out of her throat. It was all so unfair. She had thought she was safe here – she thought she had a home. She had a child. She had a husband – of sorts. And now she had to think about losing it all again…
She woke up when Philip climbed into bed with her. He started when he realized she was there.
"What are you doing in my bed?"
"I'm sorry! I… I just…" She fumbled, rolling to the other side of the bed.
"It's alright." He reached out and touched her shoulder. "Stay."
She leaned into him. "I want to stay. I want…" She pressed her lips to his.
He took a sudden breath in. "I don't…"
"I know. I know you don't care about me…"
"No. That's not it." He reached out and pulled her closer, his hand on her hip. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pressed her body against his, breathing deeply of him.
"I don't want to lose you." He kissed her this time, his lips gentle and timid.
She twisted her fingers in his hair and returned the kiss, matching his gentleness with her ferocity. She had waited too long for him – she had no more patience left to go slowly. She pushed him down and rolled on top of him, running her hands over his collarbones, exploring his mouth with her tongue. When she broke the kiss he was gasping for breath, and the sound of his ragged breathing drove her on.
Suddenly she was grabbed from behind by strong hands, pulling her back. She tried to hold on to Philip, but his flesh became soft, and turned to swirling smoke in her hands, and she was dragged out of bed, kicking and crying.
She woke up with her face wet, panic clawing at her heart. She lay in bed a few moments, trying to convince herself it had only been a dream, but the dread of her actual situation lingered.
She picked up Celeste and brought her downstairs for breakfast. "What shall we have this morning hm?" she asked, keeping her voice light, trying to hide her worry from her daughter.
Downstairs she stopped, astonished, in the doorway to the kitchen. "Philip!"
"Baba!"
Philip's teacup clattered down into the saucer as he jumped to his feet. Marina just stared at him, wondering at his presence, but Celeste squirmed out of her grasp and toddled over to Philip.
"You're here! When – when did you return?" Marina stammered, her cheeks hot. Had he come home last night and found her in his bed?
"Early this morning – before sunrise," he said. He leaned down and picked Celeste up, smiling at his daughter and avoiding Marina's gaze. She narrowed her eyes at him, trying to figure out if he was lying to her, or if it was just his natural awkwardness.
"Have you eaten? Will you have breakfast with us?"
"I already ate, thank you."
"And? What news from London?"
"It may be good news. Perhaps not." He looked from Marina to Celeste and said, "Perhaps we should speak more later."
Marina sighed, but she understood not wanting to speak of all this in front of Celeste. "Fine."
"What more?" Celeste asked, pouting up at Philip.
"Secrets my dear," he teased her.
"Seacrest? With Mama? I want seacrest with Baba!"
"Ok, just one." He leaned down and whispered in Celeste's ear and she giggled.
"I tell you seacrest!" she said, and stood on his knees to get closer to his ear. Marina chuckled quietly to herself as she clearly heard Celeste loudly whisper, "I love you!"
"Alright! Time to eat little girl!" Marina said, setting breakfast on the table.
Philip glanced at his pocket watch. "I should be off. There is some business for me to take care of in town. We'll speak later."
Marina nodded, and Philip left her at the table with Celeste.
"Should we do some gardening today?" Marina asked Celeste, once their breakfast was eaten. Celeste agreed and followed her out to the yard.
She was picking some early radishes when Celeste toddled over and took her hand. "Mama, I have seacrest for you."
"Please tell me!"
Celeste leaned in close, her lips wet and ticklish against Marina's ear. "I love you!" she whispered loudly.
Marina hugged her, laughing.
"Now you tell me one!"
Marina put her hand around Celeste's ear and whispered, "I love you!"
"No! That's no seacrest! Tell me seacrest!"
Marina grinned. "If I tell you, do you promise not to tell your Papa?"
"Promise!"
Marina laughed. "I don't know if I believe you!" she teased. "You tell him everything!"
"I promise!" Celeste repeated, banging her little fists on Marina's knees and frowning.
Marina leaned in, wondering what she should tell her. She really didn't trust her not to tell Philip everything, so she couldn't tell Celeste any real secrets. "I planted strawberries over there." She pointed to a corner of the garden. "But they're just for you and me!"
"And Baba?"
Marina snorted. Celeste was very predictable. "And Papa of course." An image flashed through her mind, of Philip eating a fresh strawberry, and she shoved it away.
Gardening tired Celeste out, so Marina put her down for a nap, then went to the sitting room to do some sewing. She couldn't focus though – she was too worried about Mr. Abernathy, too anxious to hear what Philip had done in London – so she just sat, staring out the window, until she heard Philip coming back in.
She hurried to the door to greet him.
"Celeste is sleeping," Marina told him. "Will you tell me now what happened?"
"Certainly. Should we go sit?"
"Fine." They sat down, Marina next to her discarded sewing. She picked it up again, picking at it for a minute before setting it down again as he talked.
"I first sought out Sir Andrew Wolseley. He was one of the senior lawyers on Mrs. Patterson's case. I explained the situation to him, and he will take on your case. He will defend you well, better than I could. He said he will talk to Justice Avery, to try to get him to make Sir Reginald see reason. He is more convincing than I am… He may be able to get him to drop the case altogether." Philip smiled self consciously.
Marina reached out and took his hand, overcome with feeling, with a horrible mix of fear and hope. She squeezed his hands in hers, voicing her wishes aloud. "It will work out. It must."
Philip looked down at her hands on his, and he pulled his hands out of her grasp. "I don't…" He took a deep breath. "Please, don't touch me like this," he said, turning his body away from her.
Marina stared at him, feeling cold inside. "Oh." She turned her face away, not wanting him to see how much he had hurt her. She had thought that maybe they were growing closer, that maybe he wanted her to stay with him.
Of course she been wrong.
"Yes, I apologize… I won't." She fingered her needlework where it sat on the table.
He cleared his throat and went on, ignoring her little show of affection as if it were an embarrassing social gaffe. "Hopefully Justice Avery will take your side, will make Mr. Abernathy back down. But…"
"What?"
"He ruled in Mrs. Patterson's favour, but he has a history of ruling for former slave owners. He was in favour of the slave trade, and outspoken about the economic cost of our King's decision."
"...I see." It was just one more cut, one more insult to her existence as a person.
"I don't mean to dismay you, only, I don't want to give you false hope."
"Don't worry – you've never given me hope," Marina said bitterly.
Philip looked stricken. "I'm sorry."
Marina didn't have it in her to give kindness to another just then – especially not to Philip. "I'm going to my room," she said, and left him sitting alone. She thought savagely that he would have to get used to being alone, as it appeared Mr. Abernathy would get his way.