Last week on Total Drama Fandom Action! Our nine Merge contestants showed off their stuff in our talent show! Neville Longbottom abra-cadabra'd his way to a second challenge win and sent home our All American Hero Alfred Jones! This week, I've got a little spooky yet sweet episode ready for Halloween! Our eight remaining campers face THE PHANTOM OF THE WORLD TOUR!
After Alfred's elimination, it was as if a huge Alfred-shaped hole was left in everyone's hearts. As mean and stupid as he could be at times, even Neville understood that the American was really a sweet guy.
Nobody took it harder than Jessie. Alfred had practically dumped her like a hot potato after he revealed their entire relationship was a camera stunt.
"Are you feeling better, girl?" asked Leslie.
"Yes, I'll be fine! I'm PERFECTLY fine!"
The eight contenders were seated at the breakfast table as they discussed the current state of the competition. Leslie in particular was living for Neville's bold move last episode.
"It was very C.U.N.T. of you. Very All Stars 3 !"
"We haven't had an All Stars 3, yet," said Almond.
"I meant Drag Race AS3"
"Oh,"
Leslie: For real, I didn't think Neville had it in him. This could be the beginning of a Jinkx vs. Rolaskatox storyline. I've got to forestall this. Hmmm, must study Yma Sumac songs…
"At this point in the competition, everyone here's really gunning to win," said Squidward. "Except maybe Ty Lee. I think she's gunning for Miss Congeniality". The others laughed.
"I am NOT! I'm trying to win just as much as anyone else! I just don't like throwing people under buses, is all"
"Well, kid, you'll have to toughen up eventually, because nobody in this cast, save perhaps your sappy Londoner over there, is going to hesitate to pump a couple of slugs between your eyes, given the chance," said Almond between sips of coffee. Neville blushed.
"What do you think is today's challenge?" asked Momo.
"Something spooky, I'm sure," said Squidward. "The fans love a good Halloween episode,"
"Good," said Leslie. "I'll give them Dragula realness, if I have to"
"What kind of spooky?" asked Ty Lee. "Coz there's lots of brands on that stuff,"
As if to answer, organ music blared all over the intercoms, causing the eight to cover their ears. Chris emerged from a trapdoor, smoke wafting all over the floor
Jessie coughed. "Usually, I'M the one to do entrances like that!"
"Well, I'm not gonna steal your motto, Jess, don't worry! Campers, this week, in the spirit of the spooky season, we're doing another spooky challenge! But while the last challenge dealt with slasher films, today we're going on a bit of a more sophisticated route!"
Squidward: Sophisticated? This entire dump is the antithesis of sophisticated!
"For our mini challenge, I want you guys to rummage around the props and show me some Victorian era couture! Inspiration from Victorian era characters is encouraged! You have fifteen minutes, and watch out for the mutant beetles in there!"
"Why are there mutant beetles in the props?!" asked Neville.
"Because I put them there, duh"
Jesslieward as usual breezed through this challenge, though they did have to escape maulings by the beetles. Ty Lee, Neville and Momo stuck together as well. Raze and Almond were on their own, though neither was exactly an easy target for the bugs.
Leslie's sewing machine went humming away as Squidward added avant garde touches to his look. Jessie had help from her Pokemon, Almond and Raze were winging it with hot glue and glitter, while Neville helped Ty Lee and Momo with some magic.
In the end, Leslie's look blew everyone else's out of the water: It was a stunning recreation of a queenly outfit, one that could easily be envisioned on Broadway or the cleaner streets of gaslighted London. "Leslie, you are really getting into the part! Congratulations, you win!"
Jessie and Squidward cheered for their friend, though cracks were visible on their faces.
"So, for today's challenge, we're going to do a remake of a beloved musical! Ladies and Gentlemen, we are going to adapt The Phantom of the Opera!"
Leslie: The Rusical, right after the Talent Show? Next thing, you're telling me we're doing three sewing challenges next! This is exhausting!
"Leslie, as our challenge winner, you have the power to assign the roles to each of the other campers! But save the role of the Phantom for our special guest!"
Leslie: Oh, henny, this is GOODT. I am about to set a bitch or two up for FAILURE!
"You can all read up the scripts here," said Chris, handing them leaflets. "I hope you find a way to bring the drama and the chaos onto the performance! See ya!"
Leslie cleared their throat. "Alright. Let's read up first and we'll see what roles I'll give out…"
Jesslieward, of course, wasted no chance looking for a way to exploit the power Leslie held over the challenge. "What should we do?" asked Jessie.
"Let's take the leads and give them supporting roles!" said Squidward.
"No," Leslie rebutted. "The Musical is always a do-or-die challenge. We're better off playing safe by taking the bit roles and acting the shit out of them. Meanwhile, let's assign them the leads!"
"Odds are they'll fuck it up," Squidward agreed. "I don't see any of Neville's alliance doing well here,"
"Let's take it up another notch!" said Jessie. "We know Neville and Ty Lee seem to be dating, let's give them roles that pair them with other characters! That way, it'll get under their skin!"
"I have the perfect lineup. Vengeance for what they did to Alfred!"
"Vengeance, I say!" said Jessie, toasting her juice box with Leslie's
Leslie assembled the other seven campers. "Alright, here's the roles…"
"Squidward and I will be the managers, Messiers Richard and Moncharmin"
"Jessie will be La Carlotta"
"Raze, you'll be Madame Giry"
"Almond, you will play two different roles: You will be Joseph Buquet for the first act, then the Persian in the second one"
"Ty Lee, you will be Meg Giry"
"Neville, you will be the Vicomte de Chagny"
Neville squinted. "What the bloody heck did you just call me?"
"Anyways, Momo will be Christine!"
They all agreed to their roles and began the rehearsals.
Jessie immediately sank her teeth into the role of La Carlotta. She warmed up and actually managed to sing some good notes.
"Beautiful!" cheered Leslie. "Alright, Squidward, we need to see if the others are doing well."
Ty Lee played the sweet waif Meg surprisingly well. She and Momo were rehearsing the Angel of Music scene.
Almond rehearsed Joseph's lines, but Raze was struggling with the French.
"Me-me-shurs?" She laughed as she fiddled with the script. "Man, this is gonna be hard! I wish I could chat up Chamber, he might be able to give me some pointers"
Leslie: Raze might be in trouble. She's been floating in this competition longer than Jan did in Season 12 and All Stars combined…
"Yer hand at the level of your eyeeezz!"
Leslie smiled, "Oh, sweetie, no…"
Neville and Momo had no trouble with their lines. What they had trouble with was the fact that their roles demanded several kissing scenes, and it wasn't sitting well with either of them, nor Ty Lee.
"Er, I hope you understand, Ty," Momo whispered.
"Um, yeah! Just go ahead, I'll, ah… mope in the corner like my script says!"
Ty Lee: Darn that Leslie, I bet they meant to put us in this awkward sitch! Well, I'm not gonna be stupid and let this break our alliance. I'm too smart to get jealous over a scripted kissing scene!
Chris re-entered the stage. "Gather round, campers! You might be wondering why I didn't ask you to cast a Phantom… Well, here's your Phantom!
A figure emerged from backstage… He was tall and had a strong profile…
"Please welcome back the winner of Total Drama World Tour, Alejandro!"
The campers cheered. Alejandro was perhaps the most brilliant villain the series had ever gotten, and the only one to ever win. He nodded and waved as he joined them on the set. "Glad to be back, Chris. I hope your new campers have already rehearsed? I don't do playing catch up very well"
"Oh yes, certainly!" squealed Jessie.
"That's one hot piece of man," whispered Leslie to Squidward.
Chris harrumphed. "Al will be playing the Phantom and will co-judge your performance with me tonight!"
"I hope to find you all capable actors! In more ways than one…"
A few more rehearsals and Raze smoothened out her French accent to an acceptable form. She had to perfect it as she was part of the fast-paced polyphony at "Masquerade". Momo needed to nail the Phantom aria and Neville had to make his lines more believable.
"You have to sell it! When you say those lines, you have to believe them and mean them yourself," said Alejandro. "That goes for convincing other campers not to vote you out, too!"
They wrapped up and got ready for the opening night.
"Oh, blimey, there must be thirty people out there, " said Neville, peeking out of the curtain.
"Try thirty thousand, twerp. They're all here to see me kill the role of Carlotta!" Jesie powdered her nose.
"Just remember your lines, kid. We'll be fine," said Almond.
"Sure thing, Almondzinho!" winked Raze, in a funny old lady suit.
Squidward also played the auctioneer at the beginning. "Let us banish the ghost of so many years… with a little ILLUMINATION!"
The familiar chords began blaring out of the organ and the actors got into their places
Ty Lee traipsed and Leslie pretended to play a bit part on stage as the stage transformed into the Opera. Ty Lee did a little contortion as Leslie twirled. The transformation was complete.
The music swelled and Jessie emerged as Carlotta, as the bride of Hannibal.
"Wait," said Neville. "Who's playing Piangi?"
As if to answer, a blue-haired man emerged from the right, singing the lines of Hannibal.
"That's her bestie, James," explained Leslie. "I also got a "special visit from a friend" as a prize for my mini-challenge win earlier, but I let her have it. Hey, it's your cue, Neville!" They pushed Neville onto the stage.
Leslie joined Squidward as the exposition began. After a slew of events involving a falling curtain, Momo made for center stage and began slaying the opening notes of "Think of Me". It was so beautiful that Neville almost forgot his line.
"Can it be? Can it be Christine…?"
Ty Lee caught him staring and was not pleased.
Leslie: Girl, Ty Lee was mad, as in like Jan losing the Rusical mad. Seeing she's Meg Giry, I have a feeling this is about to turn into Love Never Dies real quick, henny
High above the set, Alejandro prowled, waiting for his part.
The titular song began and Momo surprised everyone by keeping up with Alejandro's pipes, if she was a little soulless in her facial expressions.
For a while, Alejandro commanded center stage through "Music of the Night", with a short interlude between Almond and Raze in "Magical Lasso"
"Tschuss!" said Raze, smacking Almond in the head with her cane.
Alejandro retook the stage in "I Remember/Stranger Than You Dreamt It".
Squidward and Leslie were up next with "Notes/Primadonna", when Squidward began screwing up by singing off-key. Luckily, Leslie adapted around it.
"Poor Fool, He Makes Me Laugh" was next, and Jessie began hamming it up like no one had ever hammed it up before. Not even Alejandro cutting the song managed to distract from her supreme playing of Carlotta. The Ballet began and Ty Lee, who had had to witness at least five kissing scenes between Neville and Momo was twirling and hurling herself across the stage all angry, that she tripped over. Recovering quickly, she began to dance again. Jessie's Pokemon, dressed up as sheep, were Ty Lee's backup dancers.
Meanwhile, above, Almond was being chased by Alejandro and soon he would "die", and return later in the role of the Persian.
The Almond dummy dropped down… and hit Ty Lee in the head. Ty Lee tried to incorporate it in the scene but it was beginning to seem that she was falling apart.
Ty Lee: Forget it! I don't wanna go home because I can't keep my eyes on the prize! Focus, Ty! I don't wanna go home!
Neville and Momo began "All I Ask of You", the last straw for Ty Lee. She practically lip synced to Alejandro singing the reprise.
"Masquerade" began, and Squidward recovered from his fuck-up earlier ashe, Leslie, Raze and Ty Lee blended their voices into the chorus.
"Why So Silent?" began and ended so soon. Then "Don Juan Triumphant" was upon them. As Alejandro seduced Momo onstage, Neville, who had been alarmed by Ty Lee's actions earlier, rushed to her side backstage.
Ty cleared her face. "I'm sorry! I didn't know what came over me, I knew it was all just a play, but I guess I'm just so sensitive to these things, especially after what happened to Jessie! Oh, Neville, I…"
Neville took her hand and kissed her.
Past the point of no return…
Leslie: What in the AO3 abridged fanfic is going on here on this day?!
"Listen," Neville began. "No matter what happens, when this is all over, I'm going to take you to see the Dark Forest. There's lots of wee animals you won't find in your homeland. We can go flying! Let's just keep our heads in the game for now, because those conniving snakes out there won't hesitate to take advantage.
Ty Lee nodded
"Oh, I managed not to stutter… hahaha…"
Neville ran out just in time for Alejandro to run off with Momo.
"Down Once More" began, and soon, the final climax began with Alejandro, Momo and Neville creating a beautiful harmony with their lines in "Point Of No Return, Reprise". Almond did not sing, though he did a strange impression of a drowning man.
A kiss, a final song, and the play ended. The Phantom disappeared behind the curtain.
Chris applauded, as did the audience, composed of Total Drama Alumni.
After the play, Chris gathered the eight remaining campers on the stage.
"It's time for your critiques!"
"Almond, your Joseph and your Persian were alright. A surprisingly good performance for an old nut like you!"
"I kinda felt like you didn't wanna do this, but you gathered yourself just enough to give a good performance," added Alejandro.
"Leslie, your Richard was hilarious. You really made the most of your supporting role!"
"You are a born actor and performer," said Alejandro. "You were very fun to work with!"
"Neville, your Raoul was fine, but you really began to play the part towards the end. What caused that transformation?"
"I can tell you," said Alejandro. "He had a little encouragement backstage!"
"Raze, I couldn't understand a word your Madame Giry said, and I loved it!"
"You have the energy and drive of an entertainer! Definitely someone I'd cut off as soon as possible!"
"Momo, you surprised us all with your Christine, but you felt stiff outside of vocals, like you had something on your mind,"
"She was caught up in another unwanted love triangle…" explained Alejandro.
"Ty Lee, we kinda expected a lot more from you after that spectacular talent show number, but your Meg Giry danced like…"
"Like a calf in the field, as the book says…" said Alejandro. "Yes, Ty, you were very distracted. A very dangerous mood in the Merge…"
"Squidward, you said you were theater royalty back home in Bikini Bottom, but all we got from your Moncharmin was rabble…"
Squidward: What are they talking about?! I was killing it out there!
Leslie: In the words of a wise old swamp witch, "Delusion… Convince yourself…"
"Jessie, Jessie, Jessie… you really took that role as Carlotta and DEVOURED. You hammed it up, then you ate up all that ham and left no crumbs!"
Alejandro nodded. "You are a star, mi amor. Congratulations, we chose you as the winner of this week's challenge!"
Leslie and Squidward cheered as Jessie scored her second win this season. Neville and Momo looked at each other nervously.
"Jessie, you have the power to send anyone to the bottom two. Who are you picking?"
"I lost someone I loved last week, and today , I triumph in my revenge! I'm sending Ty Lee to the Bottom Two!"
"Campers," said Chris. "Now you will vote who joins Ty Lee at the bottom…"
Leslie: Momo
Squidward: Momo
Almond: Squidward
Ty Lee: Squidward
Momo: Squidward
Neville: Squidward
Raze: Squidward
"Alright, campers, you've spoken! Joining Ty Lee this week is… Squidward!"
Leslie: Squidward may not be the trade of the season but he sure is the lipsync assassin! The bottom two look good on you bestie, and I mean that in a good way!
Squidward: I am prepared to do anything to stay in this competition. I know my voters will come through. This is a chance for me to get even after she humiliated me in that Dua Lipa lipsync!
Ty Lee: I can't go home tonight. This is my first time in the bottom and Squidward's been here four times now!
"Campers, the votes are in…"
Ty Lee and Squidward eyed each other nervously.
"Squidward… you live to swim another day…"
"Thank you, Chris, for believing in the star that I am"
"Ok, calm down, Valentina," said Leslie.
"Ty Lee, I'm sorry but you're about to go on the road with the circus…"
"Thank you for this wonderful opportunity…"
Looking back, there's nothing I would've done different. If what it takes to stay in the game is to not be true to what I feel, then I'm out. I've always believed in being true to myself., and I won't give that up for all the money in the world. I made a lot of friends along the way and that's a prize enough for me… See you on the outside, Neville!
Jessie laughed at her triumph that she began to sing another aria. A creak and a crack, and everyone looked up. Chef rolled in with dinner.
"That was a great performance, y'all! Now eat up, y'all got a big challenge tomo-"
"THE CHANDELIER!" they all screamed out.
Chris was genuinely terrified as the crash banged and the dust settled. "CHEF?! CHEF?! TALK TO ME!"
To be continued…?