Chapter 25 – Life's Other Plans
Selina was nothing if not inventive. How many times had she already pivoted careers in her life? Each time, climbing ever higher from the rock bottom of her beginnings. An impasse was merely another opportunity to evolve. Which is exactly what she intended to do with the frustration leftover from her last discussion with Bruce.
If she couldn't satisfy her creative passion with children, she'd just have to find something else. Her own dance studio. She'd talked about it enough – clearly, the time had come for actual implementation.
It was thrilling, combing the city for potential spaces. She knew Gotham's neighborhoods in and out, which ones would serve her well, and which ones would scare off clients. After nearly one month of showings and tours, she'd narrowed it down to two finalists. One had more square footage, while the other had better natural lighting.
At breakfast one morning, Alfred found her engrossed in the brochures. He stole a peek over her shoulder while pouring coffee.
"What are these?" he inquired lightly.
"My top choices for a dance studio," she muttered, chin resting on her fists. "I'm not usually this indecisive."
Knowing an invitation for his opinion when he heard it, Alfred leaned in for a closer look. "Hmm. Good locations, both of them. What's the quandary?"
"Space versus light."
"Ah. Well, if I were the wife of a billionaire with no real concern as to whether my business failed or succeeded, I don't believe I'd particularly care about space. It's not as though I'd need to accommodate extra students in order to afford the bills."
Looking up, Selina found the wry smile she knew she'd find on Alfred's face. "Thanks."
"Anytime, Madame Selina," he headed to the sink. "Always happy to help."
With that matter decided, Selina collected her papers and was about to head into town when she stopped. How often did she get a chance to pick Alfred's brain? Alone, without Bruce overhearing? Her husband had left early that morning for a three-day Wayne Enterprises conference in Metropolis. Dick had just left for school. If she didn't take this opportunity now, who knows when it might come again?
"Actually, Alfred, if you don't mind, there is something else you might help me with."
Alfred's shoulders squared in pride. "Of course."
"I… I hope this isn't inappropriate to discuss with you, or blurs any boundaries between employer and employee…"
"Madame Selina, let me stop you right there. I can assure you, when it comes to Master Bruce and myself, the typical employer-employee relationship doesn't apply." He leaned into scrubbing a pan. "Bruce will be the first to tell you, I'm more of a father than his butler."
Relieved, Selina relaxed. "I wondered if you've ever spoken to him about... Batman retiring?"
Even from behind, it was evident that Alfred relished this topic of conversation. "Indeed I have."
"How did it go?" Any better than all the times I've tried? she wondered.
"I'd say it bore mixed results," Alfred replied. "Our discussion was enough to convince him to marry you, but not to retire."
"Oh."
She'd have never guessed that Bruce's proposal was owed to his butler's intervention. It was humbling to be so indebted to him, a man she'd barely spoken to during her courtship with Bruce. She'd done nothing to deserve his advocacy.
"I take it you've tried on at least one occasion?" he drew her back in.
"Yep. It went about as expected," she confided. "But here's the kicker: I almost had him, Alfred! I was this close. But then, he showed me his father's diary."
Alfred's head turned abruptly. "His father's diary?" He froze, jarred by the realization that Bruce hadn't shared it with him. Well, Master Bruce. It seems marriage has brought a new era, where there are secrets between us. But I suppose that's only natural. Just as it should be.
"He found it just before our wedding, buried in his closet," Selina continued. "He hasn't read all of it. Only one page, actually. But that one page…"
"What was it?"
"His father, Thomas, saved a mafia prince's life almost thirty years ago." She paused a second. "And it said you helped him with the surgery."
Alfred went pale, and the dish cloth slipped from his hands onto the floor.
"Did you know whom you were helping?" Selina pressed.
"I… had a strong suspicion," he replied, gripping the edge of the counter. "Master Thomas confirmed it after they left. I couldn't sleep the rest of the night."
"That must have been awful."
"It was. It took me years to put it from my mind. Then when Master Bruce became Batman, it became somewhat easier to forgive myself."
"You shouldn't feel guilty. You were just following your master's lead," Selina consoled him.
Alfred sighed. "I've often wondered how Thomas could live with himself, abetting someone so evil. He could have just let natural selection take its course. The Falcones should reap what they've sown."
"How different would things be now, if that night had gone differently?" Selina asked, not expecting an answer.
"Who can say?" replied Alfred with a sigh. "All I know is, Master Bruce won't allow himself a single misstep. The guilt of making the wrong choice like that would drive him mad."
"Would choosing a family be so wrong?"
"It isn't necessarily a matter of being wrong, but less noble. In his view, of course."
Selina pushed air through her teeth. "Plenty of people would rather have a father in their lives, than some 'noble' hero who's gone all the time."
"You're preaching to the choir, Madame Selina. But bear in mind the tremendous changes he's implemented this last year. Adopting Dick, marrying you. These take time to fully adjust to, even for ordinary people, much less Batman."
That was certainly true. Bruce had already made some impressive commitments, especially for someone so long accustomed to solitude and autonomy. Pushing him any further right now seemed selfish, inhumane. Perhaps she should just appreciate the progress to date, trusting that the groundwork laid so far would yield even more when the time was right.
It would require immense patience and sensitivity on her part, but if Bruce could forge new depths of character, so could she.
Besides, the last thing she wanted was to force him into anything his heart wasn't ready for. That was akin to forcing someone to love you. Or, in some cases, guilting them into loving you…
Alfred's involvement with Bruce's proposal unnerved her somewhat. A lot, actually, the more she dwelled on it. What did it say about Bruce's heart if he needed to be talked into marriage? How long would it have taken him otherwise to commit to her? Another year? Several years? It was chilling to imagine an alternate reality where Bruce never figured it all out on his own.
All the hypothetical scenarios boiled down to one stinging question: did Bruce secretly regret marrying her? Did marrying her constitute doing the right thing for the wrong reasons – yielding to peer pressure, so to speak? Would he have ever chosen marriage if she and Alfred hadn't pushed him toward it?
Maybe it was wrong. All of it. And she should have shared his cautious attitude long ago.
"Thanks for talking with me, Alfred. I… I have to go," she said flatly, standing. "I need to meet with my realtor. Sign some papers for the studio."
When Bruce's evening call to Selina didn't happen, Alfred assured her it must be due to extended conference commitments. The CEO of Wayne Enterprises couldn't merely retire to his hotel room at the end of the day, like some ordinary employee. He was likely accosted around every corner by multitudes of managers, department heads, and shareholders eager to impress him.
"The poor man likely can't even use the restroom in peace," Alfred had speculated.
Still, Selina's silent phone raked relentlessly at her nerves, which were already on edge. This was the last thing she needed, being left alone with a fresh batch of insecurities and no word from Bruce.
When it finally rang at half past nine, her heart soared. Scrambling to slide the green button on her screen, she didn't notice whose name appeared.
"Bruce, it's so good to –"
"Selina, hi - it's not Bruce. It's Clark."
Her face fell. "Oh. Hi Clark."
"I take it you were expecting a call from Bruce?"
"Yes. That's all right though, what did you need?"
"No, that's just it, Selina. It's not all right," Clark replied soberly. "Bruce was supposed to have dinner at our place tonight. He's over an hour late, and he won't answer his phone."
Selina's heart skipped a few beats. "Did you hear from him at all today?"
"No. Did you?"
"Oh no…" Selina whispered, the blood draining from her face. "Clark, get out there and start looking for him now!"
Things are about to get real, really fast...