p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanIt was a long day. She let herself into her apartment with the weight of defeat hanging over her. It felt like the entire world had been turned on its head and she didn't know what to do about it. They'd lost Brainy to Lex. Lex! The conniving, self-serving, megalomaniac who only worked with his own best interests in mind and always needed to be reminded he was the smartest, most powerful person in the room. How was it that he kept taking everything from her? How did she keep emletting/em Lex take the things she loved? Even knowing how Brainy had changed since his inhibitors were gone, she didn't expect he would defect. Kara didn't know how she could take another blow. Not when she was still trying to accept that she'd opened the door for Lex, left room for him to grow in Lena's heart, and he had stepped in, dug his finger into years' old wounds, and just worked her over until she fell./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanWho was next? Who else had she left vulnerable? In this made-up, reconstructed world where somehow Lex got to be the hero, were the rules such that he would take everything and everyone she cared about? Did she have to worry about Nia, and J'onn, and Alex leaving her, too? Sometimes she wondered if she was still in the Phantom Zone. If she'd never escaped her pod and was just in some fever dream created and maintained by the Phantoms. What other explanation was there out there for why her life seemed to be nothing more than loss after loss after loss?/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanAnd this final one might just be the whole of humanity. She wasn't being pedantic. Rama Khan and Leviathan might be the one they couldn't defeat. The fate of humanity depended on them somehow finding a way to destroy aliens with god-like powers on level (and maybe even greater) than her own. If they failed, humanity would end. This was the last Earth. If Rama Khan destroyed it, there would be no one left to save./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanFor the first time ever, she was tempted to join the near two billion Obsidian Platinum users, put on a set of lenses, and just escape the world's end. Why not? Why was it that everyone else got to run away? She kicked off her shoes as soon as she walked through the door of her apartment. Heading straight for the comfort of her couch, she collapsed down onto it, pulling the blanket off the back. She draped it over herself in a makeshift cape, wondering what her escape would be. emWhere/em it be would be. Krypton, a year before her world's end, maybe? Back when she was still filled with hope and self-import because she was a daughter of the House of El, and slated to join the science guild? Back when she still had hope for the style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanAs much as she'd loved Krypton, though, she also knew it was a rather naïve and gilded view she had of her home world. She wouldn't want to give up the breathtaking diversity of life that Earth provided, either. Her fantasy would be of a Krytonian/Earth hybrid without the loss, with both sets of parents (a pre-Cadmus Jeremiah), Alex, her aunt and uncle, Kal before he became Clark, Winn, Brainy, J'onn, Nia and Kelly, and of course Lena…/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThinking about her only made her feel even more helpless. After Jermiah's death, there had been a glimmer, a small flicker of hope that maybe someday they could get back to the way things were once between them. That hope was long gone now. She had to accept the fact that the damage between them was irreparable. She and Lena were…their friendship was…/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThere was a knock at the door, thin and tiny; if she didn't have super hearing, she might not have heard it. Body heavy and feet dragging, she got up to answer the knock at normal human speed. Sometimes, when she was in an especially bad mood, bad enough that not even the thought of food gave her enough energy to do anything other than plop down on the couch and fall into a stupor, Alex ordered delivery for her. It was one of the perks of having an older sister: having someone who just knew you and did things for you because of that bond. It was a comfort she never would have had if she had stayed on Krypton. She placed her hand on the door, fixed her best approximation of a smile onto her face, braced herself for the unwanted human interaction (even if it was brief), and froze. She blinked, doubting her eyes, but no. Lena was standing in the hallway on the other side of the door./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena. That feeling that she used to get, like nothing ever could be wrong again, didn't swell in her heart at the sight of her former friend the way it used to. Instead, it was like swallowing a mountain of ice, the way it chilled her to the bone. And Rao forgive her, because she almost closed the door in her face. She just didn't have it in her, not today. She couldn't do this. She couldn't stand fighting one more fight she knew she would lose. This wasn't one of those moments where she could inspirationally quote her way back into Lena's heart./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanMxy had shown her that no matter when she told Lena, it wouldn't have done any good. In fact, there were so many instances where things would have ended so much worse than they were. There was no better way to say it, no better time to say it. Kara had kept her secret hidden from her for a reason; it was the right one. Even if it sucked. Kara had to make peace with that, even if it meant letting Lena go. Maybe life and people really were about seasons. She would never stop loving Lena, but maybe their season of friendship was well and truly over./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanKara shook her head. "I can't deal with this today." She wasn't sure if she would have actually closed the door. She thinks that maybe she started to shut it, but then Lena spoke: "Kara."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena saying her name like emthat /emshook her. Try as she might, she couldn't close the door on that voice. She knew Lena, knew every detail of her appearance, all her mannerisms. That her hair was down, parted and straight, but tucked behind an ear, was a signal. The way she had trouble keeping her head up, the way her eyes flickered over Kara's seeking approval, redemption, she didn't need to say anything for Kara to know why she was here. Kara reminded herself that she had to be ice, she looked past Lena to a spot on the wall behind her. "I have made a terrible mistake."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena had that look about her that she'd been deeply wounded by one of the people she loved. She'd already seen that face when she was the cause; the only other two people who could make that look come out were Lillian and Lex…/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanspan style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span"I was hurt. I was so hurt." Her voice broke as Lena bared her soul, fully expecting Kara not to be able to hear her, but still trying anyway. Lena's chin trembled, a tell-tale sign she was about to start crying. "I was hurt. I thought I could get rid of the hurt. I thought I knew better. That I could make the world a better place. I was wrong."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena kept rubbing her hands together as if she didn't know what to do with them. Kara wanted to reach out and take them in her own, instead she placed them on her hips, torn between Danvers and Zor-El, half in her Supergirl stance. The gesture grounded her. She didn't know what Lena was in front of her. When Jeremiah died, she'd gotten a glimpse of the old her. For a moment, one too brief moment, they were them again. Then she blinked, and it was gone./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena pushed through even when Kara gave her nothing. "That hurt, um, took me down a dark, dark path. One where I was blind to what I was really doing, to what I'd become."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanKara realized she was standing in her doorway a fortress while Lena was in front of her with her walls down. She stepped back a little, to make room for Lena to come in. Lena followed, pulled in by Kara's magnetism. It was almost as if she were afraid to let any more space grow between them. "This whole time I became a villain. I'm not looking for forgiveness. I know what I said, and I know what I did, but I am really hoping that you will believe me right now. Okay?" What little composer Lena had, crumpled on the last syllable of the word. "Kara, I'm sorry."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanShe had been waiting so long to hear those words, but what did it mean now? When Kara didn't say anything, Lena started to move, drifting out of Kara's orbit to pace around the apartment, talking out loud to herself for Kar's benefit./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"It's been a year and I still haven't come to terms with what I did. Shot my brother. I thought I was protecting everyone, but it really started all of this."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanKara cut her off. "I don't want to talk about the past. All that matters now is the threat ahead of us, and how we're going to stop it."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena sighed. "Understand."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThe door to her apartment suddenly slammed open. "Get down on the ground, now!" Lena jumped back, her hands instantly going into the style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanAlex zeroed in on her in seconds, pointing some monstrous weapon that came out of her hand of the soldier in her face, baring her teeth. "Luthor!" she snarled. J'onn, M'gann, and Nia flanked her, equally ready to attack. Subconsciously, Lena and Kara both shifted, Lena to position herself behind Kara, Kara to shield Lena from her friends./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"What the hell are you doing here?" Alex demanded./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanKara held up her hands to ward off her sister. Lena stepped forward. "I'm here to help. Lex and Leviathan are planning on using Obsidian's virtual reality platform."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanAlex didn't chamber her weapon, but she holstered it, understanding dawning on her face. "That must be why Rama Khan went after the DEOs kryptonite."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"To keep Supergirl from interfering," Nia added./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Well, the joke's on Rama Khan and his big dumb gladiator outfit because I already defeated him once."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanJ'onn shook his head at his young charge's arrogance. "Don't be rash, Kara. He's tied to the Earth. If you even use your powers once, he can sense them."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanM'gann echoed J'onn's sentiment, driving the point home. "With all that Kryptonite at his fingertips, he could kill you."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThe threat of death was something that always hovered over Supergirl's head. It was nothing new. "You guys will protect me," she insisted./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanShe was not met with the confident faces of people who believed that that was something they could do. The silence stretched around them as no one jumped to assure her that they could do style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"It's not check-mate yet," Lena softly insisted. "I haven't made you an anti-kryptonite suit in this world, but I could."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanIt had nothing of her usual bravado to it. She was still hurt, still cowed./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanAlex stepped forward, moving towards Lena. "Can you really? We're talking about my sister's life."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanKara spoke up before Lena could. "I trust her."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThey made plans for J'onn, M'gann, and Dreamer to pose a distraction, the two Martians volunteering to play Kara, J'onn's absolute favorite thing to do. emWell he can just join the club/em, Kara thought snidely. She hated the idea of sending her friends into battle so that she and Lena could scamper across town to the L-Corp Labs. She hated not being in the action, that others could get hurt because of her. She felt resentment bubbling up inside of her; no direct target, just a bunch of swirling faces that she couldn't punch./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanShe realized the source of part of her anxiety when they stopped in front of L-Corp. It'd been so long since she'd been here. Flashes of her walking confidently passed security to go up and see Lena flashed in her mind. Sometimes it'd been for lunch, sometimes for no other reason than she just liked to be in Lena's presence. The memories were such a bleak contrast to the actual Lena that was beside her, practically shrinking in her skin, thoughts racing in her head. She pulled Kara through the alley, and into a secret side entrance, and directly down into the hidden basement labs./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanAs soon as the doors of the lab closed behind them, Lena started work on making Kara a Kryptonite suit. Kara hated feeling useless like this! She needed to do something. What was she missing? What was Leviathan's weaknesses. Why did Lena's perfume seem to jump directly off her body, and straight to Kara's nose? With a start, she realized that she had drifted back over to stand behind Lena, indecently close. If Lena turned around and looked up they would be nearly face to face. Kara blushed, taking a step back. emWhat is that about/em? She chopped it up to missing Lena. She'd missed her so much. Missed her at movie nights. Missed her for lunch dates. Missed the times that Lena let her head fall onto Kara's shoulder, and closed her eyes, "just to rest them for a moment", and instead ended up falling asleep, soft snares in Kara's ear./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanKara sighed, and Lena must have heard it. "The suit won't be ready for at least another few hours, but I'm doing everything in my power to speed it along."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanEven though Lena wasn't looking at her, wasn't taking her eyes off of the specs so that she wasn't even wasting a second of time, Kara nodded anyway. She was about to page her sister on the coms, when she came walking into the lab. "Hey."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanKara rushed over to her, eager for an update, any update. She needed to clear her mind. span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span"What happened?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"It's not just Rama Khan out there, there's three of them. Each with a different element-bending power."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Where are the others?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanAlex took her eyes off of her sister to look at Lena. "J'onn was injured. M'gann and Dreamer took him back to the tower."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I should have been there, fighting alongside you, I'm sorry."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Kara, it's okay. We all still have our ears."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanAlex's phone rang and she answered it. More bad news. William went after Eve and then disappeared./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanShe couldn't help feeling like this was her fault. Everything was her fault! She needed something to do other than just sitting around waiting for this damn suit to be finished!/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanAlex left as quickly as she came, and then it was just her and Lena again. Alone. With all of this frustration running through her body. Damn Lex. If he were here right now…she imagined all of the different things she would do to him, and it managed to keep her mind occupied for a while. But whenever the images stopped, she was back to pacing, back to trying to ignore Lena./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanShe really liked what she did with her hair./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena must have felt the tension to. span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Talk about history repeating itself. Tracking Lex down through Eve." Kara knew that Lena was just trying to break the tenson, but it was the wrong thing to say. "It's just like Kaznia."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanHer words trailed, and Kara was sure they were both thinking the same thing. About how Kara had finally made the decision to tell Lena, that the guilt of her secret was finally too much to bear, how she stood there in her Super suit ready to bare all, when Lena went on about how betrayed she felt; how she couldn't trust very many people./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanOkay, so maybe they weren't thinking the emsame /emthing./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanspan style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span"I almost told you. On the plane."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanShe didn't expect for Lena to hear her, but she did. Lena glanced over and saw Kara's frown. "Please, Kara, I'm sorry. I truly believed what I was doing was helping people."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanKara held a hand up to stop her. "I told you, I don't want to talk about the past."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena tried to make a joke. "Oh, come on, you can scream at me if you'd like. I know I deserve it. I know now that working with Non Nocere was a mistake, that working with Lex-,"/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanKara was so tired of hearing his name. The weight of it all finally came crashing down. "This isn't about Lex." Her voice echoed in the empty lab. "This is about J'onn and Alex, and all the other people that could have been killed today because they're on my team. Don't you understand that?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena shied away from her anger./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"No, I do, of course I do."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"No you don't. You have never understood what it means to share a secret identity with someone. How much danger that puts them in./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"You never even understood that I kept my identity from you because I wanted to protect you. I know, I know that I hurt you by waiting so long to tell my truth, but what about all the ways you hurt me? You pretended to be my friend for weeks just so you could manipulate me. You stole from me. You convinced me to steal from you. And then, then, you even…you used Kryptonite on me."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I didn't-," Lena tried to interject./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanKara scoffed. "Really, Lena. Really?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanAnd Lena could only stand there under the weight of her guilt as Kara dressed her down. "I made one mistake. One mistake that was only ever meant to protect you and in return all you did was hurt me in every way imaginable."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I'm sorry."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I know you are."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena's face tightened. Kara looked away from her, hoping for a hit or a distraction from this conversation. She couldn't cry. Not here. Not when so much was at stake. She couldn't break down. Besides, Lena was doing that for her. She shook, as if she were breaking along the fault lines of her past convictions. Lena wrapped her arms around herself, as if to keep the earthquake that was breaking inside her from ripping her apart./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I know you can't offer me absolution; I know you don't want to talk about the past, but please just let me say this?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanKara gave her a non-committed look, but she didn't rebuke her./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I was just so mad, Kara. I was so hurt, and so mad at myself for allowing myself to ever be weak enough to be hurt by anyone, something I swore to myself I would never do again. I have been betrayed by so many people in my life. No I didn't try to understand about keeping your identity hidden, because all I could see was that another person I had put my trust in, someone who I thought would never, ever hurt me, had betrayed me. span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"We didn't grow up the same way, Kara. You had parents who loved you for 13 years, and then you had the Danvers who would die for you. I only got to experience that kind of love for four years of my life. Four. Maybe things would have been better if I had never known what that felt like, but you have no idea what it's like to be so reviled, every moment of every day of your life. The world adores you; how could you ever know what it feels like to go through life unwanted and unloved."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanKara felt raw and achy listening to Lena say that. "Being a Luthor was so cold…and then I met someone who was a portable sun."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena's eyes shyly flickered over Kara's before moving away. "You were the thing that I wished for all of my lonely nights in the manor. I thought I finally had the life that I hoped, that I had friends, f-family,"/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"You do-,"/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanspan style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span"Lex took that from me. In the pre-Crisis timeline, when I went to kill him, he reminded me that I'm so unlovable that my own brother would use his last dying breath to let me know that I was stupid, and naïve, and childish for even thinking that I could be special, that I could be worthy of you."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"That's not true, Lena."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena pushed the words away. "I let my rage, and hate, and fear, and sadness, push me past reason. I emthought /emI could control people; I thought I could make them be kind and giving to each other-,"/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"You wanted them to see the world as you do-,"/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"It was control. I was no different then what I hated about Lex. What I hated in Supergirl. I was a hypocrite."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanKara said nothing, Lena's words an indictment against her as well as Lena. "I thought maybe this new world had given me the brother I never had. I thought maybe this was a chance for things to be different between us. I thought the Luthor name could mean something good to the world, but Lex was just using me as one of his pawns. Again. Used us against each other. I'm so sorry, Kara. I'm so sorry I let him. I'm so sorry I let my hurt cloud my judgment. He was right. All these years, he was right. I'm nothing. I'm not a Luthor. I'm not part of the Super Friends-"/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I wanted to tell you so badly-"/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Then emwhy /emdidn't you? I loved you, Kara." The past tense of the word hit her as hard as a physical blow from Rama Khan. "I let you in. Against my better judgment, I let you in, and you kept this huge thing from me. You laughed in my face. You made me feel foolish. I trusted you with emmy /emsecrets. I trusted you with emme./em Was it all a lie?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"No, Lena." Kara didn't know what to do with herself. She wanted to hold Lena, she wanted to move away from her accusations. She wanted to break open her head so Lena could just emsee/em. How did she not understand what she meant to her? "I never wanted to hurt you. I would never want to hurt you. Maybe it was selfish, but I wanted someone who knew me. Who I could just be Kara with. You mean more to me than anything, Lena. Your trust, your friendship," she hesitated, "your love," Lena looked up at her, green/grey eyes meeting blue. "Mxy showed me what the world looked like if I had told you at different points in our relationship. The hands-down worst outcome was the world where we had never met. Just knowing you makes my world a better place."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena was crying. Lena was crying, tears falling down her face, and Kara didn't do anything. She could feel her own tears, hot against her cheeks./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I would have given you all of me, but I didn't know how to do that. It had nothing to do with your name, with your family. I didn't know if you could love Supergirl emand/em Kara. I didn't know how I could be both and it not come back on you. All the things I love get taken away from me. I watched my world collapse. I lost my family, my life, my planet. I have seen so much destruction. I couldn't, I can't stand losing you."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena seemed to take the words in, before she gave one single, curt, nod. Kara hoped that gesture meant that Lena could finally hear her. "You haven't lost me, Kara."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"No."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena drew closer to her. "No."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThe word hung thick and heavy in the air around them. Kara didn't know why she felt like the world had suddenly spun on its axis. It felt like her heart started racing, that her palms were sweaty. They had entered a quiet space. Again, Kara didn't seem to know what to do. She found herself wrapped up in Lena's gravitational pull, inching closer to her, not breaking eye contact. How could she look away when looking at Lena made her feel like there was no such thing as the rest of the world. It was just the two of them./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanIt wasn't just the two of them./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThe alert on the computer screen went off. They had found Eve's location./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanKara instantly pulled away, her eyes zeroing on the location. "I'm going."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena wasn't as quick to move, lost in a daze. "But Kara, your suit isn't ready."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I don't care. Protecting people is what I do. You should know that by now." Kara readied herself to leave. She felt a slight tug on her arm. "I'm going with you."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"It will be faster if we fly."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena gave a resolute nod, setting her shoulders. Kara was at her side in a single stride, sweeping her off her feet into a bridal carry. It was a familiar gesture between the two of them, but Kara had never thought before about how intimate a position it was. It was all she could think about while she held Lena in her arms. Even with all the hurt spelled out in front of them, it meant something that Lena still trusted her enough to let her hold her like this. Time was of the essence, she knew that. There was enough time though, to pause for a few seconds to take in all that Lena was. She called her name, "Lena", even though Lena was already looking at her, something new and foreign and familiar all at once shining in those green eyes that she adored so much. "You haven't lost me, either."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanTo say that here, now, when they were like this, meant something wholly different then if she had said it with both their feet planted firmly in the ground. Yet, she'd vowed that there would be no more secrets./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanHer words caused a wide, teary smile to spread like wildfire over the younger woman's lips. Lena sank into the embrace, holding Kara tighter. Kara felt the ice melting in her veins. Where she didn't think it could be possible, there it was: hope./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanIf only it had been able to last./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"***/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center" /p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"In Memorandum/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"By Quinn Fabray/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center" /p
p class="MsoNormal" I first met Lena Luthor at a clam bake at Yale University when I was 18 years old. She was a year younger, 17, and newly enrolled at MIT, as evidenced by the over-sized sweatshirt she wore the first time I saw her. Her curly black hair fell around her face in sheets, in open defiance of her mother, she told me this conspiratorially, green eyes alight with mischief as she said it. A plastic straw was poised in between two overly red lips. She toyed with her straw whenever she wasn't engaged with her drink of choice for the night: club soda. She was drinking it not because of her age - she'd already developed her father's taste for whiskey – but because she'd come to the mixer in the middle of an experiment she was working on, and wanted to keep her head clear. In fact, the only reason she'd made the two-hour drive for this 5-hour party was because she was stymied on her current project and thought the diversion might trigger a Eurekea! moment. You see, Lena Luthor lived for the lab, for science and discovery. Even at 17. /p
p class="MsoNormal" The event, hosted by my sorority, was one of those intercollegiate mixers meant for those with privilege and prestigious to meet others with privilege and prestigious to discuss how we would one day rule the world. Because it was a group of all women with only a handful (but not too many), minority women sprinkled in, we got to pretend we were different from our white male counterparts who had the same fantasies of grandeur./p
p class="MsoNormal" I don't know the mechanism that brought us together, whether it was a breakout group, or the two of us hiding away near the punch bowl. Time has stolen that detail away, and does it really matter anyway? We eschewed superficial conversation, quickly bonding over the fact that we were two people who'd grown up much too fast. We were two women, girls really, burdened by the weight of our names. We commiserated over our birth order, our shared love for the hard sciences and how we both managed to be disappointments to our families: Lena as the unwanted daughter who would steal her brother's spotlight, and myself as the Senator's daughter who had to be sent away at 16 because she got pregnant in high school. Although she tottered between being her mother's daughter, firm and stoic, and wanting to try out her own interests, throughout the night, she struck me as someone who was kind, and compassionate; a force on her way to changing the world for the better./p
p class="MsoNormal" I made some joke, the content of which has been lost to time, but her response stuck with me throughout the years: she laughed. Not one of those canned, polite smiles, or her 'I smell bullshit' laugh that many an unprepared opponent was levied with over the years, it was a genuine, candid laugh, one that was given so rarely that she seemed to surprise herself. The entirety of our interaction lasted about an hour, two if I'm being generous. Other than that laugh, despite what we shared, there was nothing particularly memorable about our interaction, not to someone who was routinely trotted around to such parties at least once a month since she was 4 years old./p
p class="MsoNormal" We parted with me knowing with all certainty I would see her face again, even if she would quickly forget about me. It was only after we gave our polite good-byes that I found out that my companion was emthe /emLena Luthor, daughter to Lionel and Lillian Luthor of Luthor Corp, and sister to the soon to be infamous Lex. /p
p class="MsoNormal" My next run in with Ms. Luthor was several years later, after she'd completed her Bachelor's (in a record amount of time, might I add), and was working in the labs of Luthor Corp as she finished her PHD. I was interviewing her for emRewire Magazine /emabout a brain mapping project she was the lead on. For the most part during those years, Lena managed to stay out of the spotlight. That changed as, a week before our interview, Lionel Luthor died, and suddenly the world was clamoring for information from any member of the family. Gone was the girl from the clam bake along with the dangerous black waves. Now there was nary a hair on her head that hadn't been forced into submission, her sleeked black high pony reminding me so much of my days as a cheerleader, that it almost triggered a panic attack./p
p class="MsoNormal" The Lena Luthor I met this time was somewhat robotic, yet a consummate professional, a Montblanc pen poised between delicate fingers as they hovered over a notepad set out to catch any errant thought that came to mind during our interview. I didn't mention we had met before, too afraid I guess, to not be remembered. When I could sense that she was getting too technical in her explanations, I paused to ask how she was handling her father's death. After a long pause, she informed me I was the first person to ask her how she was doing since he'd died./p
p class="MsoNormal" It broke my heart. Throughout her life, Lena was an island. She had few close friends and confided in ever fewer people. I knew I wasn't one to have her confidence. Even still, I decided to end the interview in that moment, telling her that if she didn't mind, she could send me the answers to my questions through an email. We spent the rest of the time talking about anything but Luthor Corp., and the projects she was working on. I left the encounter feeling the same way about her that I felt the first time years before: that she was kind, compassionate, and one day she would change the world./p
p class="MsoNormal" The next time our paths crossed, it was another handful of years later. I'd moved from emRewind Magazine /emto emNational Press/em, and Lena was just sliding into the glimmering white desk at the top floor of Luthor Corp. I was there to discuss the company's name change. The woman I met for the interview had become an enigma. Gone was the hesitant girl at the clam bake, gone was the reserved scientist who melted when someone asked her how she was doing after her dad died. She was every bit a Luthor now. There was no hesitation, no second guessing, no weaknesses to be perceived. She had grown from an island to a force field. This was a woman who had learned to be her own protector and savior. This was a woman who, very shortly after our interview, shot a man who was sent to kill her by her brother in prison. It wasn't the first assassination attempt against her, and unfortunately it wouldn't be the last. It was a hard reality that unfortunately life had already prepared her for./p
p class="MsoNormal" Yet, despite all odds, she continued to push through. She shaped L-Corp into a force for good. I could outline all of her accomplishments, but there will be other publications that do so. And Kara Danvers, the Pulitzer Prize winning longtime friend of Ms. Luthor, will be sure to write the obituary that will melt every heart to stone, so I want to shy away from doing either of those things. What I do want to do is leave the reader with the actual person that was Lena Luthor. I did nothing to make a lasting impact on Ms. Luthor after we first met, however, I received anonymous congratulatory flowers when I graduated first from undergrad and then grad school. My daughter and I mysteriously received an all expenses paid trip to see Wicked on Broadway after a throw away comment in one of our interviews about how much my daughter liked musical theater. When Lena bought Catco Media, I was sought out and received a commission to write my first book./p
p class="MsoNormal" There were other, seemingly random events that happened throughout the years, that I only finally was able to put together once I actually took a step back and investigated them. I don't hold the naïve notion I made a dramatic impact on Lena that day at the clam bake. I don't think I changed the world when I asked her about her father. I do know this, however. For Lena Luthor, the payment for kindness has always been a lifetime of gratitude expressed in tiny little moments of showing up when no one expects you to. No one can argue Lena Luthor didn't change the world. She was instrumental in saving us from the Daxomites; she was a friend to the Super Friends; she tirelessly helped out with the DEO and teamed up with Super Girl countless times. If it weren't for her, we would have been crushed underneath the boot of Lex and Leviathan. Her inventions' impacts will send ripples well into the future./p
p class="MsoNormal" But those are the big things. The true impact of what Lena Luthor's death will mean to the world, are in the small: the flower arrangements that won't get sent, the hospital visits to Luthor Memorial that will end, the story hours at the library that will be missed, a quiet benefactor no longer funneling money into minority women's projects. It loses a pro-alien ally, a teacher, a friend. The world isn't changed by the big things we do, but by the little moments where we remind each other we're not here alone. The best way I, or anyone else, can honor Lena Luthor is to continue to do her work. I will continue to do so, and I hope you will do the same. /p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanIt was a long day. She let herself into her apartment with the weight of defeat hanging over her. It felt like the entire world had been turned on its head and she didn't know what to do about it. They'd lost Brainy to Lex. Lex! The conniving, self-serving, megalomaniac who only worked with his own best interests in mind and always needed to be reminded he was the smartest, most powerful person in the room. How was it that he kept taking everything from her? How did she keep emletting/em Lex take the things she loved? Even knowing how Brainy had changed since his inhibitors were gone, she didn't expect he would defect. Kara didn't know how she could take another blow. Not when she was still trying to accept that she'd opened the door for Lex, left room for him to grow in Lena's heart, and he had stepped in, dug his finger into years' old wounds, and just worked her over until she fell./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanWho was next? Who else had she left vulnerable? In this made-up, reconstructed world where somehow Lex got to be the hero, were the rules such that he would take everything and everyone she cared about? Did she have to worry about Nia, and J'onn, and Alex leaving her, too? Sometimes she wondered if she was still in the Phantom Zone. If she'd never escaped her pod and was just in some fever dream created and maintained by the Phantoms. What other explanation was there out there for why her life seemed to be nothing more than loss after loss after loss?/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanAnd this final one might just be the whole of humanity. She wasn't being pedantic. Rama Khan and Leviathan might be the one they couldn't defeat. The fate of humanity depended on them somehow finding a way to destroy aliens with god-like powers on level (and maybe even greater) than her own. If they failed, humanity would end. This was the last Earth. If Rama Khan destroyed it, there would be no one left to save./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanFor the first time ever, she was tempted to join the near two billion Obsidian Platinum users, put on a set of lenses, and just escape the world's end. Why not? Why was it that everyone else got to run away? She kicked off her shoes as soon as she walked through the door of her apartment. Heading straight for the comfort of her couch, she collapsed down onto it, pulling the blanket off the back. She draped it over herself in a makeshift cape, wondering what her escape would be. emWhere/em it be would be. Krypton, a year before her world's end, maybe? Back when she was still filled with hope and self-import because she was a daughter of the House of El, and slated to join the science guild? Back when she still had hope for the style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanAs much as she'd loved Krypton, though, she also knew it was a rather naïve and gilded view she had of her home world. She wouldn't want to give up the breathtaking diversity of life that Earth provided, either. Her fantasy would be of a Krytonian/Earth hybrid without the loss, with both sets of parents (a pre-Cadmus Jeremiah), Alex, her aunt and uncle, Kal before he became Clark, Winn, Brainy, J'onn, Nia and Kelly, and of course Lena…/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThinking about her only made her feel even more helpless. After Jermiah's death, there had been a glimmer, a small flicker of hope that maybe someday they could get back to the way things were once between them. That hope was long gone now. She had to accept the fact that the damage between them was irreparable. She and Lena were…their friendship was…/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThere was a knock at the door, thin and tiny; if she didn't have super hearing, she might not have heard it. Body heavy and feet dragging, she got up to answer the knock at normal human speed. Sometimes, when she was in an especially bad mood, bad enough that not even the thought of food gave her enough energy to do anything other than plop down on the couch and fall into a stupor, Alex ordered delivery for her. It was one of the perks of having an older sister: having someone who just knew you and did things for you because of that bond. It was a comfort she never would have had if she had stayed on Krypton. She placed her hand on the door, fixed her best approximation of a smile onto her face, braced herself for the unwanted human interaction (even if it was brief), and froze. She blinked, doubting her eyes, but no. Lena was standing in the hallway on the other side of the door./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena. That feeling that she used to get, like nothing ever could be wrong again, didn't swell in her heart at the sight of her former friend the way it used to. Instead, it was like swallowing a mountain of ice, the way it chilled her to the bone. And Rao forgive her, because she almost closed the door in her face. She just didn't have it in her, not today. She couldn't do this. She couldn't stand fighting one more fight she knew she would lose. This wasn't one of those moments where she could inspirationally quote her way back into Lena's heart./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanMxy had shown her that no matter when she told Lena, it wouldn't have done any good. In fact, there were so many instances where things would have ended so much worse than they were. There was no better way to say it, no better time to say it. Kara had kept her secret hidden from her for a reason; it was the right one. Even if it sucked. Kara had to make peace with that, even if it meant letting Lena go. Maybe life and people really were about seasons. She would never stop loving Lena, but maybe their season of friendship was well and truly over./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanKara shook her head. "I can't deal with this today." She wasn't sure if she would have actually closed the door. She thinks that maybe she started to shut it, but then Lena spoke: "Kara."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena saying her name like emthat /emshook her. Try as she might, she couldn't close the door on that voice. She knew Lena, knew every detail of her appearance, all her mannerisms. That her hair was down, parted and straight, but tucked behind an ear, was a signal. The way she had trouble keeping her head up, the way her eyes flickered over Kara's seeking approval, redemption, she didn't need to say anything for Kara to know why she was here. Kara reminded herself that she had to be ice, she looked past Lena to a spot on the wall behind her. "I have made a terrible mistake."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena had that look about her that she'd been deeply wounded by one of the people she loved. She'd already seen that face when she was the cause; the only other two people who could make that look come out were Lillian and Lex…/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanspan style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span"I was hurt. I was so hurt." Her voice broke as Lena bared her soul, fully expecting Kara not to be able to hear her, but still trying anyway. Lena's chin trembled, a tell-tale sign she was about to start crying. "I was hurt. I thought I could get rid of the hurt. I thought I knew better. That I could make the world a better place. I was wrong."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena kept rubbing her hands together as if she didn't know what to do with them. Kara wanted to reach out and take them in her own, instead she placed them on her hips, torn between Danvers and Zor-El, half in her Supergirl stance. The gesture grounded her. She didn't know what Lena was in front of her. When Jeremiah died, she'd gotten a glimpse of the old her. For a moment, one too brief moment, they were them again. Then she blinked, and it was gone./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena pushed through even when Kara gave her nothing. "That hurt, um, took me down a dark, dark path. One where I was blind to what I was really doing, to what I'd become."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanKara realized she was standing in her doorway a fortress while Lena was in front of her with her walls down. She stepped back a little, to make room for Lena to come in. Lena followed, pulled in by Kara's magnetism. It was almost as if she were afraid to let any more space grow between them. "This whole time I became a villain. I'm not looking for forgiveness. I know what I said, and I know what I did, but I am really hoping that you will believe me right now. Okay?" What little composer Lena had, crumpled on the last syllable of the word. "Kara, I'm sorry."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanShe had been waiting so long to hear those words, but what did it mean now? When Kara didn't say anything, Lena started to move, drifting out of Kara's orbit to pace around the apartment, talking out loud to herself for Kar's benefit./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"It's been a year and I still haven't come to terms with what I did. Shot my brother. I thought I was protecting everyone, but it really started all of this."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanKara cut her off. "I don't want to talk about the past. All that matters now is the threat ahead of us, and how we're going to stop it."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena sighed. "Understand."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThe door to her apartment suddenly slammed open. "Get down on the ground, now!" Lena jumped back, her hands instantly going into the style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanAlex zeroed in on her in seconds, pointing some monstrous weapon that came out of her hand of the soldier in her face, baring her teeth. "Luthor!" she snarled. J'onn, M'gann, and Nia flanked her, equally ready to attack. Subconsciously, Lena and Kara both shifted, Lena to position herself behind Kara, Kara to shield Lena from her friends./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"What the hell are you doing here?" Alex demanded./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanKara held up her hands to ward off her sister. Lena stepped forward. "I'm here to help. Lex and Leviathan are planning on using Obsidian's virtual reality platform."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanAlex didn't chamber her weapon, but she holstered it, understanding dawning on her face. "That must be why Rama Khan went after the DEOs kryptonite."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"To keep Supergirl from interfering," Nia added./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Well, the joke's on Rama Khan and his big dumb gladiator outfit because I already defeated him once."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanJ'onn shook his head at his young charge's arrogance. "Don't be rash, Kara. He's tied to the Earth. If you even use your powers once, he can sense them."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanM'gann echoed J'onn's sentiment, driving the point home. "With all that Kryptonite at his fingertips, he could kill you."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThe threat of death was something that always hovered over Supergirl's head. It was nothing new. "You guys will protect me," she insisted./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanShe was not met with the confident faces of people who believed that that was something they could do. The silence stretched around them as no one jumped to assure her that they could do style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"It's not check-mate yet," Lena softly insisted. "I haven't made you an anti-kryptonite suit in this world, but I could."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanIt had nothing of her usual bravado to it. She was still hurt, still cowed./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanAlex stepped forward, moving towards Lena. "Can you really? We're talking about my sister's life."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanKara spoke up before Lena could. "I trust her."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThey made plans for J'onn, M'gann, and Dreamer to pose a distraction, the two Martians volunteering to play Kara, J'onn's absolute favorite thing to do. emWell he can just join the club/em, Kara thought snidely. She hated the idea of sending her friends into battle so that she and Lena could scamper across town to the L-Corp Labs. She hated not being in the action, that others could get hurt because of her. She felt resentment bubbling up inside of her; no direct target, just a bunch of swirling faces that she couldn't punch./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanShe realized the source of part of her anxiety when they stopped in front of L-Corp. It'd been so long since she'd been here. Flashes of her walking confidently passed security to go up and see Lena flashed in her mind. Sometimes it'd been for lunch, sometimes for no other reason than she just liked to be in Lena's presence. The memories were such a bleak contrast to the actual Lena that was beside her, practically shrinking in her skin, thoughts racing in her head. She pulled Kara through the alley, and into a secret side entrance, and directly down into the hidden basement labs./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanAs soon as the doors of the lab closed behind them, Lena started work on making Kara a Kryptonite suit. Kara hated feeling useless like this! She needed to do something. What was she missing? What was Leviathan's weaknesses. Why did Lena's perfume seem to jump directly off her body, and straight to Kara's nose? With a start, she realized that she had drifted back over to stand behind Lena, indecently close. If Lena turned around and looked up they would be nearly face to face. Kara blushed, taking a step back. emWhat is that about/em? She chopped it up to missing Lena. She'd missed her so much. Missed her at movie nights. Missed her for lunch dates. Missed the times that Lena let her head fall onto Kara's shoulder, and closed her eyes, "just to rest them for a moment", and instead ended up falling asleep, soft snares in Kara's ear./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanKara sighed, and Lena must have heard it. "The suit won't be ready for at least another few hours, but I'm doing everything in my power to speed it along."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanEven though Lena wasn't looking at her, wasn't taking her eyes off of the specs so that she wasn't even wasting a second of time, Kara nodded anyway. She was about to page her sister on the coms, when she came walking into the lab. "Hey."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanKara rushed over to her, eager for an update, any update. She needed to clear her mind. span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span"What happened?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"It's not just Rama Khan out there, there's three of them. Each with a different element-bending power."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Where are the others?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanAlex took her eyes off of her sister to look at Lena. "J'onn was injured. M'gann and Dreamer took him back to the tower."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I should have been there, fighting alongside you, I'm sorry."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Kara, it's okay. We all still have our ears."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanAlex's phone rang and she answered it. More bad news. William went after Eve and then disappeared./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanShe couldn't help feeling like this was her fault. Everything was her fault! She needed something to do other than just sitting around waiting for this damn suit to be finished!/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanAlex left as quickly as she came, and then it was just her and Lena again. Alone. With all of this frustration running through her body. Damn Lex. If he were here right now…she imagined all of the different things she would do to him, and it managed to keep her mind occupied for a while. But whenever the images stopped, she was back to pacing, back to trying to ignore Lena./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanShe really liked what she did with her hair./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena must have felt the tension to. span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Talk about history repeating itself. Tracking Lex down through Eve." Kara knew that Lena was just trying to break the tenson, but it was the wrong thing to say. "It's just like Kaznia."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanHer words trailed, and Kara was sure they were both thinking the same thing. About how Kara had finally made the decision to tell Lena, that the guilt of her secret was finally too much to bear, how she stood there in her Super suit ready to bare all, when Lena went on about how betrayed she felt; how she couldn't trust very many people./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanOkay, so maybe they weren't thinking the emsame /emthing./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanspan style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span"I almost told you. On the plane."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanShe didn't expect for Lena to hear her, but she did. Lena glanced over and saw Kara's frown. "Please, Kara, I'm sorry. I truly believed what I was doing was helping people."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanKara held a hand up to stop her. "I told you, I don't want to talk about the past."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena tried to make a joke. "Oh, come on, you can scream at me if you'd like. I know I deserve it. I know now that working with Non Nocere was a mistake, that working with Lex-,"/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanKara was so tired of hearing his name. The weight of it all finally came crashing down. "This isn't about Lex." Her voice echoed in the empty lab. "This is about J'onn and Alex, and all the other people that could have been killed today because they're on my team. Don't you understand that?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena shied away from her anger./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"No, I do, of course I do."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"No you don't. You have never understood what it means to share a secret identity with someone. How much danger that puts them in./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"You never even understood that I kept my identity from you because I wanted to protect you. I know, I know that I hurt you by waiting so long to tell my truth, but what about all the ways you hurt me? You pretended to be my friend for weeks just so you could manipulate me. You stole from me. You convinced me to steal from you. And then, then, you even…you used Kryptonite on me."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I didn't-," Lena tried to interject./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanKara scoffed. "Really, Lena. Really?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanAnd Lena could only stand there under the weight of her guilt as Kara dressed her down. "I made one mistake. One mistake that was only ever meant to protect you and in return all you did was hurt me in every way imaginable."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I'm sorry."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I know you are."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena's face tightened. Kara looked away from her, hoping for a hit or a distraction from this conversation. She couldn't cry. Not here. Not when so much was at stake. She couldn't break down. Besides, Lena was doing that for her. She shook, as if she were breaking along the fault lines of her past convictions. Lena wrapped her arms around herself, as if to keep the earthquake that was breaking inside her from ripping her apart./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I know you can't offer me absolution; I know you don't want to talk about the past, but please just let me say this?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanKara gave her a non-committed look, but she didn't rebuke her./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I was just so mad, Kara. I was so hurt, and so mad at myself for allowing myself to ever be weak enough to be hurt by anyone, something I swore to myself I would never do again. I have been betrayed by so many people in my life. No I didn't try to understand about keeping your identity hidden, because all I could see was that another person I had put my trust in, someone who I thought would never, ever hurt me, had betrayed me. span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"We didn't grow up the same way, Kara. You had parents who loved you for 13 years, and then you had the Danvers who would die for you. I only got to experience that kind of love for four years of my life. Four. Maybe things would have been better if I had never known what that felt like, but you have no idea what it's like to be so reviled, every moment of every day of your life. The world adores you; how could you ever know what it feels like to go through life unwanted and unloved."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanKara felt raw and achy listening to Lena say that. "Being a Luthor was so cold…and then I met someone who was a portable sun."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena's eyes shyly flickered over Kara's before moving away. "You were the thing that I wished for all of my lonely nights in the manor. I thought I finally had the life that I hoped, that I had friends, f-family,"/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"You do-,"/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanspan style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span"Lex took that from me. In the pre-Crisis timeline, when I went to kill him, he reminded me that I'm so unlovable that my own brother would use his last dying breath to let me know that I was stupid, and naïve, and childish for even thinking that I could be special, that I could be worthy of you."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"That's not true, Lena."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena pushed the words away. "I let my rage, and hate, and fear, and sadness, push me past reason. I emthought /emI could control people; I thought I could make them be kind and giving to each other-,"/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"You wanted them to see the world as you do-,"/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"It was control. I was no different then what I hated about Lex. What I hated in Supergirl. I was a hypocrite."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanKara said nothing, Lena's words an indictment against her as well as Lena. "I thought maybe this new world had given me the brother I never had. I thought maybe this was a chance for things to be different between us. I thought the Luthor name could mean something good to the world, but Lex was just using me as one of his pawns. Again. Used us against each other. I'm so sorry, Kara. I'm so sorry I let him. I'm so sorry I let my hurt cloud my judgment. He was right. All these years, he was right. I'm nothing. I'm not a Luthor. I'm not part of the Super Friends-"/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I wanted to tell you so badly-"/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Then emwhy /emdidn't you? I loved you, Kara." The past tense of the word hit her as hard as a physical blow from Rama Khan. "I let you in. Against my better judgment, I let you in, and you kept this huge thing from me. You laughed in my face. You made me feel foolish. I trusted you with emmy /emsecrets. I trusted you with emme./em Was it all a lie?"/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"No, Lena." Kara didn't know what to do with herself. She wanted to hold Lena, she wanted to move away from her accusations. She wanted to break open her head so Lena could just emsee/em. How did she not understand what she meant to her? "I never wanted to hurt you. I would never want to hurt you. Maybe it was selfish, but I wanted someone who knew me. Who I could just be Kara with. You mean more to me than anything, Lena. Your trust, your friendship," she hesitated, "your love," Lena looked up at her, green/grey eyes meeting blue. "Mxy showed me what the world looked like if I had told you at different points in our relationship. The hands-down worst outcome was the world where we had never met. Just knowing you makes my world a better place."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena was crying. Lena was crying, tears falling down her face, and Kara didn't do anything. She could feel her own tears, hot against her cheeks./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I would have given you all of me, but I didn't know how to do that. It had nothing to do with your name, with your family. I didn't know if you could love Supergirl emand/em Kara. I didn't know how I could be both and it not come back on you. All the things I love get taken away from me. I watched my world collapse. I lost my family, my life, my planet. I have seen so much destruction. I couldn't, I can't stand losing you."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena seemed to take the words in, before she gave one single, curt, nod. Kara hoped that gesture meant that Lena could finally hear her. "You haven't lost me, Kara."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"No."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena drew closer to her. "No."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThe word hung thick and heavy in the air around them. Kara didn't know why she felt like the world had suddenly spun on its axis. It felt like her heart started racing, that her palms were sweaty. They had entered a quiet space. Again, Kara didn't seem to know what to do. She found herself wrapped up in Lena's gravitational pull, inching closer to her, not breaking eye contact. How could she look away when looking at Lena made her feel like there was no such thing as the rest of the world. It was just the two of them./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanIt wasn't just the two of them./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanThe alert on the computer screen went off. They had found Eve's location./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanKara instantly pulled away, her eyes zeroing on the location. "I'm going."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena wasn't as quick to move, lost in a daze. "But Kara, your suit isn't ready."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"I don't care. Protecting people is what I do. You should know that by now." Kara readied herself to leave. She felt a slight tug on her arm. "I'm going with you."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"It will be faster if we fly."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanLena gave a resolute nod, setting her shoulders. Kara was at her side in a single stride, sweeping her off her feet into a bridal carry. It was a familiar gesture between the two of them, but Kara had never thought before about how intimate a position it was. It was all she could think about while she held Lena in her arms. Even with all the hurt spelled out in front of them, it meant something that Lena still trusted her enough to let her hold her like this. Time was of the essence, she knew that. There was enough time though, to pause for a few seconds to take in all that Lena was. She called her name, "Lena", even though Lena was already looking at her, something new and foreign and familiar all at once shining in those green eyes that she adored so much. "You haven't lost me, either."/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanTo say that here, now, when they were like this, meant something wholly different then if she had said it with both their feet planted firmly in the ground. Yet, she'd vowed that there would be no more secrets./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanHer words caused a wide, teary smile to spread like wildfire over the younger woman's lips. Lena sank into the embrace, holding Kara tighter. Kara felt the ice melting in her veins. Where she didn't think it could be possible, there it was: hope./p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanIf only it had been able to last./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"***/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center" /p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"In Memorandum/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center"By Quinn Fabray/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;" align="center" /p
p class="MsoNormal" I first met Lena Luthor at a clam bake at Yale University when I was 18 years old. She was a year younger, 17, and newly enrolled at MIT, as evidenced by the over-sized sweatshirt she wore the first time I saw her. Her curly black hair fell around her face in sheets, in open defiance of her mother, she told me this conspiratorially, green eyes alight with mischief as she said it. A plastic straw was poised in between two overly red lips. She toyed with her straw whenever she wasn't engaged with her drink of choice for the night: club soda. She was drinking it not because of her age - she'd already developed her father's taste for whiskey – but because she'd come to the mixer in the middle of an experiment she was working on, and wanted to keep her head clear. In fact, the only reason she'd made the two-hour drive for this 5-hour party was because she was stymied on her current project and thought the diversion might trigger a Eurekea! moment. You see, Lena Luthor lived for the lab, for science and discovery. Even at 17. /p
p class="MsoNormal" The event, hosted by my sorority, was one of those intercollegiate mixers meant for those with privilege and prestigious to meet others with privilege and prestigious to discuss how we would one day rule the world. Because it was a group of all women with only a handful (but not too many), minority women sprinkled in, we got to pretend we were different from our white male counterparts who had the same fantasies of grandeur./p
p class="MsoNormal" I don't know the mechanism that brought us together, whether it was a breakout group, or the two of us hiding away near the punch bowl. Time has stolen that detail away, and does it really matter anyway? We eschewed superficial conversation, quickly bonding over the fact that we were two people who'd grown up much too fast. We were two women, girls really, burdened by the weight of our names. We commiserated over our birth order, our shared love for the hard sciences and how we both managed to be disappointments to our families: Lena as the unwanted daughter who would steal her brother's spotlight, and myself as the Senator's daughter who had to be sent away at 16 because she got pregnant in high school. Although she tottered between being her mother's daughter, firm and stoic, and wanting to try out her own interests, throughout the night, she struck me as someone who was kind, and compassionate; a force on her way to changing the world for the better./p
p class="MsoNormal" I made some joke, the content of which has been lost to time, but her response stuck with me throughout the years: she laughed. Not one of those canned, polite smiles, or her 'I smell bullshit' laugh that many an unprepared opponent was levied with over the years, it was a genuine, candid laugh, one that was given so rarely that she seemed to surprise herself. The entirety of our interaction lasted about an hour, two if I'm being generous. Other than that laugh, despite what we shared, there was nothing particularly memorable about our interaction, not to someone who was routinely trotted around to such parties at least once a month since she was 4 years old./p
p class="MsoNormal" We parted with me knowing with all certainty I would see her face again, even if she would quickly forget about me. It was only after we gave our polite good-byes that I found out that my companion was emthe /emLena Luthor, daughter to Lionel and Lillian Luthor of Luthor Corp, and sister to the soon to be infamous Lex. /p
p class="MsoNormal" My next run in with Ms. Luthor was several years later, after she'd completed her Bachelor's (in a record amount of time, might I add), and was working in the labs of Luthor Corp as she finished her PHD. I was interviewing her for emRewire Magazine /emabout a brain mapping project she was the lead on. For the most part during those years, Lena managed to stay out of the spotlight. That changed as, a week before our interview, Lionel Luthor died, and suddenly the world was clamoring for information from any member of the family. Gone was the girl from the clam bake along with the dangerous black waves. Now there was nary a hair on her head that hadn't been forced into submission, her sleeked black high pony reminding me so much of my days as a cheerleader, that it almost triggered a panic attack./p
p class="MsoNormal" The Lena Luthor I met this time was somewhat robotic, yet a consummate professional, a Montblanc pen poised between delicate fingers as they hovered over a notepad set out to catch any errant thought that came to mind during our interview. I didn't mention we had met before, too afraid I guess, to not be remembered. When I could sense that she was getting too technical in her explanations, I paused to ask how she was handling her father's death. After a long pause, she informed me I was the first person to ask her how she was doing since he'd died./p
p class="MsoNormal" It broke my heart. Throughout her life, Lena was an island. She had few close friends and confided in ever fewer people. I knew I wasn't one to have her confidence. Even still, I decided to end the interview in that moment, telling her that if she didn't mind, she could send me the answers to my questions through an email. We spent the rest of the time talking about anything but Luthor Corp., and the projects she was working on. I left the encounter feeling the same way about her that I felt the first time years before: that she was kind, compassionate, and one day she would change the world./p
p class="MsoNormal" The next time our paths crossed, it was another handful of years later. I'd moved from emRewind Magazine /emto emNational Press/em, and Lena was just sliding into the glimmering white desk at the top floor of Luthor Corp. I was there to discuss the company's name change. The woman I met for the interview had become an enigma. Gone was the hesitant girl at the clam bake, gone was the reserved scientist who melted when someone asked her how she was doing after her dad died. She was every bit a Luthor now. There was no hesitation, no second guessing, no weaknesses to be perceived. She had grown from an island to a force field. This was a woman who had learned to be her own protector and savior. This was a woman who, very shortly after our interview, shot a man who was sent to kill her by her brother in prison. It wasn't the first assassination attempt against her, and unfortunately it wouldn't be the last. It was a hard reality that unfortunately life had already prepared her for./p
p class="MsoNormal" Yet, despite all odds, she continued to push through. She shaped L-Corp into a force for good. I could outline all of her accomplishments, but there will be other publications that do so. And Kara Danvers, the Pulitzer Prize winning longtime friend of Ms. Luthor, will be sure to write the obituary that will melt every heart to stone, so I want to shy away from doing either of those things. What I do want to do is leave the reader with the actual person that was Lena Luthor. I did nothing to make a lasting impact on Ms. Luthor after we first met, however, I received anonymous congratulatory flowers when I graduated first from undergrad and then grad school. My daughter and I mysteriously received an all expenses paid trip to see Wicked on Broadway after a throw away comment in one of our interviews about how much my daughter liked musical theater. When Lena bought Catco Media, I was sought out and received a commission to write my first book./p
p class="MsoNormal" There were other, seemingly random events that happened throughout the years, that I only finally was able to put together once I actually took a step back and investigated them. I don't hold the naïve notion I made a dramatic impact on Lena that day at the clam bake. I don't think I changed the world when I asked her about her father. I do know this, however. For Lena Luthor, the payment for kindness has always been a lifetime of gratitude expressed in tiny little moments of showing up when no one expects you to. No one can argue Lena Luthor didn't change the world. She was instrumental in saving us from the Daxomites; she was a friend to the Super Friends; she tirelessly helped out with the DEO and teamed up with Super Girl countless times. If it weren't for her, we would have been crushed underneath the boot of Lex and Leviathan. Her inventions' impacts will send ripples well into the future./p
p class="MsoNormal" But those are the big things. The true impact of what Lena Luthor's death will mean to the world, are in the small: the flower arrangements that won't get sent, the hospital visits to Luthor Memorial that will end, the story hours at the library that will be missed, a quiet benefactor no longer funneling money into minority women's projects. It loses a pro-alien ally, a teacher, a friend. The world isn't changed by the big things we do, but by the little moments where we remind each other we're not here alone. The best way I, or anyone else, can honor Lena Luthor is to continue to do her work. I will continue to do so, and I hope you will do the same. /p
p class="MsoNormal" /p