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Chapter 22

My hand shook. I had lost count of how many times I had rammed it against the side of Nanami's arm or Megumi's side; each one met with such a lack of pain from them that I might as well have grabbed a feather pillow and used that instead.

"Damn!" Gojo laughed, sprawled out on the lawn with a cold tea beside him and some pop rocks. His head tossed in a delighted laugh. "You suck!"

Nanami's jaw somehow went even tighter at the comment, his eyes narrowing on the other man as he batted me away with barely a twist of his hand. If I wasn't still so irritated with him, I would have found the controlled strength that he used to keep me from landing even one hint utterly exhilarating. As it was, each time his hand slid along my arm, propelling me away, his touch always gentle, it made me want to snarl at him.

He didn't release me like I thought he would, his fingers readjusting as he caught my wrist and halted my momentum. His eyes tracked me, dark and intent and so hypnotic that I didn't fully understand what he was doing until he was already there. Pain jerked up my arm, forcing a low hiss to slip past my lips as his larger hand clamped down on the bandages over my raw, burned skin.

My jacket was still covering it, so I had been able to keep the injuries to myself for most of the time. In the beginning, it hadn't really mattered. Gojo had had about an hour or so of trying without any luck to coax some sort of magic from me. At some point, it had devolved into both of us snapping at each other and then before I had known it I was snarling up at him, calling him a pig-headed bastard. His head had tossed back, a sharp, short crow of laughter bursting through the clearing before he returned a calm: "Shrew."

Nanami had quickly broken it up before I made the irrational decision to start ripping out tufts of his hair. Gojo had been relegated to running the three teens through drills from that point on while Nanami had sighed and asked me if it was alright to teach me basic defense.

If it hadn't been for the resentment still simmering inside me, I might have swooned at some of the close quarters that the activity gave me. As it was, instead I stepped on his toes at least five times and elbowed him at least a dozen. I couldn't say that all of it had been by accident.

"What are you-" It was the first thing I had really said to the hulking blonde since we had started.

Nanami's big shoulders rolled as he dragged me closer, holding my wrist secure while his other hand dragged up my jacket sleeve. His teeth ground as he glared down at the bandage currently drenched in sweat and rubbing at noticeably raw skin. I gulped, feeling suddenly queasy at the sight. I… hadn't realized it had gotten that bad.

"We're done for today." Nanami's voice could have been the first sign of the earth opening up beneath us, it was so dark.

Across the clearing, I watched as the pink-haired boy gave a whoop and flopped into the grass, rolling until he clutched desperately at the girl's legs, begging her for snacks as she kicked at him.

"Nanami," I started, already gearing up for an argument that would our earlier disagreement seem like a trip to Disneyland.

Fingers curled around my jaw, jerking any protest away from my lips in a harsh gasp. He stared down at me, his eyes dark with a foreboding that made me gulp. "I understand that we have things to talk about and that you're angry but this is non-negotiable." His fingers dug into my jaw in a way that made my knees weak, my eyes widening on his. "So I suggest that you consider the moment very carefully before you push your limits."

My skin burned, all the anger inside of me blown out in one fatal moment. My fingers twitched as I resisted the urge to reach up and drag him down to my lips. It wasn't surprising that he saw the submission slacken my face, his hand giving a pleased squeeze before he dropped his hold after another breathless moment.

I shuddered to think of the power that he would hold over me once we started whatever it was boiling between us.

Dazed, I watched as Gojo leapt to his feet, his brows knitting as he stalked a bit closer. "She hasn't made any sort of progress-"

Nanami's teeth flashed, his eyes filled with so much rage that for a moment I wondered if he would punch the other man. "I said she's done."

Far from looking concerned, Gojo rolled his eyes. "She's not a child, Nanami. She-"

"You're in charge of a lot of things around here, Gojo." There was a coldness to Nanami's voice that made a chill race down my spine. I gulped, my skin prickling at the sudden tension. "But not her."

The white-haired man's brows leapt at those words, his eyes dancing to me. "Are you going to let him boss you around like that?"

"It didn't sound like he was bossing me around," I said, still a bit dazed but completely unwilling to give Gojo anything. He had called me a shrew not hald an hour ago and now he wanted me to team up with him? The audacity was staggering.

I may have been mad at Nanami but at least with him, I knew that my best interest was very nearly his top priority. With Gojo, all I knew was that he ran on power alone. I had no clue what he valued and a sinking suspicion that if I did, I would be deeply horrified.

Nanami didn't wait around for Gojo to give his approval, leading me away with a gentle hand to my back, his other hand still grasping my wrist with care. He didn't say anything as we stepped into the cradle of the forest. And I didn't break the silence either, taking the moment to collect my thoughts.

I felt like my life was slowly but surely unraveling, the latest development from my aunts and now my new obligations to Jujutsu High adding up into something that threatened to overtake me.

I was scared.

Being in front of these people scared me. Because I could feel their sadness. I could feel their loss.

My eyes slid sideways to take in Nanami's hard profile, his eyes dark as they focused on our path forward, the lines of his body hard and sure. What made a man lean toward dominance, I wondered. What made someone hold on so tightly to control that they needed it in sex?

I gulped, drawing back from the thought like it was a hot pan that my hand had slipped across. To go there meant that I would need to go into why I needed to submit in sex. I wasn't sure if I was willing to stray too close to that path yet.

A small building slowly came into view, raised from the ground of a cement base. A small porch ringed the whole facility, the roof overhanging to keep rain and leaves from the entrance.

Wordlessly, Nanami's hands came to grasp my waist, lifting me effortlessly up onto the raised porch while I gawked down at him. To describe his silence as cloudy would be generous. His eyes were an unusual black, a muscle in his jaw pulsing as he leapt up onto the wood and went silently to the shoji doors, unlocking it deftly before sliding it to the side.

Inside a low table sat with plush green sitting pillows placed carefully on the bamboo floor. A heated quilt sat folded neatly to the side - too hot to be of any use in this weather. There was a small washroom just behind the sitting room that took up most of the space, a glass cabinet packed with medical supplies taking up most of the room.

Words bubbled up, barely making it farther than my thoughts before I dismissed them. The way Nanami was moving now was like a trapped animal, his big shoulders up, the muscles along his forearms bulging as he left me in favor of riffling through the cabinet for salve and bandages.

"Sit."

I sat quickly, barely able to register my own movement before I was already on the cushion. His voice had turned deeper, gritty in a way that made my whole body lean forward in anticipation.

"I think we've kept our silence for long enough, don't you, little baker?" His back was still to me, those big shoulders rolling, muscles in his back shifting beneath the stiff fabric of his button-down. My mouth watered as I watched him shift forward, reaching for something, his whole body one big distraction. He turned, one eye catching my blatant ogling, his eyes sharpening at the slack expression on my face. "Tell me why you're mad."

I blinked, baffled, utterly taken aback.

"Huh?" I said, dumbly as he turned, a bottle in his hands filled with a bowl of water and bandages. He stalked over, setting everything down before settling himself on the floor in front of me.

Deftly, he reached out and grasped my hips, his hand squeezing along the top part of my thighs. He barely looked at me as he dragged me closer to him until all I could feel was the heat coming from his body.

"Hand," he murmured, uncapping the salve, his voice deep but gentle. I didn't even think as I lifted my arm, his fingers curling around my wrist, cradling my arm gently as his other hand began to unfurl the sweaty bandages. "I know that this isn't what we had agreed upon. I know that getting more entangled in this isn't what you planned…" His eyes met mine, dark and searching. "But I also know that you're smart enough to know that this is the only way."

I ground my teeth, barely feeling it as he revealed my swollen, bubbling flesh beneath the bandage. The bandages had rubbed against the blisters, opening them up. His teeth flashed in a savage grimace.

He was right. I was smart enough to realize that the elders of this place wouldn't let go of a new sorcerer. I mean, the place had a serious staffing problem as it was. Even if that old geezer had scoffed at me being a baker, it wasn't a hard concept to understand that a mystery curse user was something that would be invaluable. They could either hold on to me tighter or believe that I was being trained for fighting curses.

There was no alternative in which I slipped away, becoming a baker once more, my quiet life resumed. Not anymore.

No. The real reason I was angry…

"Their aren't very many," I whispered, my eyes tracking the way that his shoulders tensed, his eyes sharpening on my arm like that was where my question was leading. I didn't say anything else.

For a moment, we sat in pregnant silence, his hands working efficiently as he applied the salve. Finally, his adams apple bobbing, he answered me in a quiet voice. "One person from each year is usually dead by 17."

I sucked in a breath at that news, the very thought clanking through me with a cold, metallic echo. That was… that was absolutely chilling.

"It's rare to get over three people in one year so…" he continued and if I hadn't been staring so hard at the harsh lines of his face, I might have thought he was talking about stock movements. His face was strangely devoid of emotions, his body lacking the proper amount of tension that I would have thought that someone would have when talking about something so…personal.

And just like that, pieces started to fall into place. Gojo was older than him. I hadn't seen anyone else around his age on the compound. Sure, I had only visited twice but the closest person to Nanami seemed to be Gojo and the younger classmen.

"How many people were in your class?" My voice sounded so soft, just a leaf blowing through the wind. I was almost scared to hear the answer.

He didn't look away from my arm as he slowly started bandaging it. "One. There was one other person."

My heart shattered a bit more at the empty look on his face, his shoulders hunching up a bit more as he spoke.

They had to be close. From what I knew, people in the same class went nearly everywhere together. They were… they had to be each others best friend. The one that they would need to depend on in such deadly situations. The only person…

My free hand reached out, sliding slowly along the firm line of his jaw, the chiseled planes of his face until my palm rested against his cheek. Just touching. Feeling the muscles of his jaw tighten and release beneath my skin. His eyes stayed on where he worked, stealing off my wrappings before he stilled, his whole body going still for a moment as his hands stayed curled around my injured one.

"Tell me about him?" I whispered, unsure, unsure if this was a line I could cross. This felt…different. Like I was stepping over some sort of border that we had been walking along for the entirety of our relationship.

His eyes fluttered shut, his head bowing a bit until golden strands slipepd forward to tickle his brow. For a moment, I thought he wasn't going to answer.

"His name was Yu. Yu Haibara," he whispered and I leaned closer until it felt like we were cocooning his words, this moment trapped between the small space between our bodies. "He always blabbered on and on about how great being a sorcerer was. How he liked being of use to other people. How he wanted to make a difference." His face tipped into my palm, pressing closer, his brows furrowing. "He always wanted to please others." His lashes slowly fluttered, drawing up to reveal eyes so dark and filled with agony that I drew in a tight breath. "You remind me of him, in some ways."

I didn't know what to say to that. Tentatively, my fingers moved to play along the short hair around his ears. An odd, fluttering feeling tightened my insides as his face followed the action, his lips chasing my skin for a moment before he stopped, looking slightly dazed.

"How did he…" I wasn't able to force the word from my lips, my stomach souring at the thought of it hurting him more.

His expression emptied once more, his big hands circling both of my elbow. Slowly, he steered the hand that was playing through his hair downward. My whole body lit as his lips pressed to my palm, scating along where my fingers met my palm.

"We were sent out to take care of some lower level curses," he murmured into the skin of my hand, his lashes low, shading his eyes. "We got there… And they weren't lower level."

I shivered at the image, feeling physically sick. Imagining Nanami walking into a building, thinking that this would be another day, thinking about what they would do after they got done with the curses. Then that slow, creeping realization that this wasn't going to be normal, that they were trapped, that they couldn't get out. Tears burned at my eyes, clogging my throat.

"I was barely able to fight them off. Yu… Yu wasn't able to." His throat bobbed as he swallowed, his nose and lips pressing harder to my hand as he seemed to want to crawl farther into me. His other hand tightened on my elbow. "I brought him back here…after…"

I could feel the whirl of emotions churning inside of him, eating him up. I couldn't imagine that kind of loss. I couldn't imagine dragging your best friend back to some godforsaken High at 17. I couldn't…

I slid to my knees, watching his eyes flash up at me as I slowly slid closer. His eyes raked over me in open interest, dark and wary like I was about to tear into him. My heart breaks a little bit more at that expression.

My knees prickle as I slide closer, my hands reach up to grasp the hard planes of his shoulders, the muscles beneath my fingertips rigid. He watches me with that same wary expression for a moment longer before slowly leaning back a bit, giving me just enough room to slide into his lap.

I wrap myself around him tightly, my thighs squeezing his waist, my arms circling his shoulders as I tuck him close. He's so much bigger than me that it feels more like he's hugging me, his body tense beneath me. We don't speak for a long while, his whole body one tense mass until slowly, I feel the wariness seep from him, his muscles slowly unlocking one at a time.

I feel like I'm the only thing keeping the broken, stony pieces of him together in that moment, his arms wrapping around me tentatively and then all at once. His hold tightens until I can't tell where he begins and I end, his face pressed to the curve of my shoulder. I feel like I can feel the broken pieces of him starting to press jaggedly from beneath his skin as my hands circle reassuringly down his back.

I breath in his familiar scent and I think for a moment that there was a reason why we met. A reason why we came together so suddenly. My fingers run through the silky strands of his hair, pushing the strands away from his face and a low sound rumbles through him at the action.

I understand this breaking. I understand it more than most our age.

The fact that I did this whole chapter directly after doing 6 assignments is even impressing me.

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