Chapter Twenty-Five:

Bob's Big Wallet Inspector Scam

"Breaking news!" Kermit the Frog announced on TV, "Ever since the disappearance of one Waluigi Wario, it has been reported by some folks close to the Mushroom Kingdom's local scam artist Wario that the Wario Brothers' scamming business has become more difficult, especially for Wario! The question remains: Will Waluigi reappear and will Wario's infamous scams find traction again?!"

In hours, newspaper editions were being distributed all over the Mushroom Kingdom with the picture of Waluigi and the headline on the front page reading; 'Waluigi Vanishes, Wario Bros' Scams Enter Sharp Decline.'

All across the land, in Belmont, Toad Town and Mushroom City, gossip began to spread. Some people assumed that Waluigi had been abducted by aliens or that he'd drowned in a swamp, some suggested there had never been a real Waluigi and others assumed the lanky Italian had gone off somewhere after being turned away from Super Smash Bros again.

With word of Waluigi's disappearance spreading, some citizens began taking jabs at the Wario Bros, especially at Wario whenever he came around the neighborhood or popped up in a news story about his involvement in something being stolen from someone.

In the local trash dump, Bob was helping himself to a tasty smore when the wind blew and a newspaper smacked him in the face. The hooded Garo picked up the paper and saw the front page, reading every paragraph of today's latest number one news article as his eyes began to light up wide with a near burst of excitement.

"No way!" Bob exclaimed, fighting the urge to gasp, "Waluigi isn't around to help Wario with his scams and Wario isn't doing so hot in the scamming business!? This means..."

He shot to his feet and raised a blade to the sky with a bright twinkle in his eyes, "It's Bob's time to step into the void and show Wario who's the best scammer in the Mushroom Kingdom! Heck, yeah, baby! Bob's gonna get some big money and all the noobs are gonna hand it over, LOL! I'm gonna be the richest scam boy of all time and I don't even know where to start!"

'Where to start' indeed. Bob dialed back his excitement and began thinking about what to do, there were so many ways to scam people in the world and he'd seen how people like Wario and Waluigi did it. And then, there was the fact Bob had done some very shady things in the past.

Oh, it was no easy task to scam someone. One wrong move and it would fall apart.

Then, it hit him like lightning. Bob remembered that SMG4-looking fellow who inspected wallets from a while ago. No, that was SMG4. But, what if, he was a wallet inspector with a twist. He could take people's wallets and replace them with duplicates that were so convincing, no one would notice the trickery.

Now that was a good place to start, a very, very good place to start. Bob grabbed a monocle, followed by a fake mustache and a hat, then he hit the streets of Toad Star Avenue in Mushroom Town with his wallet replicas on standby. He lingered in a street corner, waiting for someone to pop by, patiently and quietly.

And soon, someone did come by. That someone?

Sans the Skeleton of Undertale fame.

Bob quietly chuckled, his first target. He knew a sucker when he saw them. The Garo made his move towards the skeleton and declared; "Wallet Inspector! I must inspect your wallet!"

"Wallet inspection, eh?" Sans quipped, "I don't see a problem with it."

'Sucker.' Bob thought as Sans pulled out his wallet, a simple white one. In fact, it matched the color of one of Bob's fake wallet's perfectly. Bob took the wallet and turned around, discreetly put it in his purse, brought out the fake wallet and then passed it over to Sans.

"Your wallet is safe, sir!" The Garo announced.

"Good to know." Sans replied, he then winked, "You look like a fine wallet inspector. Perhaps I can pay you?"

Bob's eyes lit up. He'd already gotten some money in San's real wallet and this sucker was giving him more. He nodded and Sans pulled out a couple fifteen dollar bills from his pocket, giving them to Bob. Bob waved to the skeleton, watching as he walked away. A successful scam!

The Garo removed himself from the streets to a secluded area under a tree, made sure nobody was around, then he rubbed his blades together and laughed with wicked glee.

"Ha ha! That was too easy!" Bob declared, "I can't wait to wallet scam more suckers! Then maybe, I can steal money from Wario! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! I wonder who else I can take wallets from. Ha, this is so fun. I'm not just Bob the Wallet Inspector, I'M BOB THE PICKPOCKET! LOL! Man, I am such a sneaky badass!"

Once he composed himself, Bob hit the streets in preparation to scam his next victim and spotted Old Man Hobo sitting on a bench right across the street from his position. Now that looked like another easy target for Bob, even if old men were wise beyond their years.

Bob adjusted his monocle, then he made his way towards the old man as slow as possible. And then, he declared; "Wallet Inspector!"

"Eh? Whaddaya want?" The old man asked.

"I am here to inspect your wallet!" Bob replied. 'So I can steal it.'

Old Man Hobo eyed the Garo for a minute, then he pulled out a wallet, which matched one of Bob's fake wallets, and handed off to Bob. Bob did exactly as he did with San's wallet, swapping Old Man Hobo's wallet for the fake wallet. He then gave the old man his 'wallet' and walked away while the elderly hobo waved with a slight smile.

"LOL! Another sucker!" Bob quipped when he was as far away as possible from the old man, "Bob, you are one amazing wallet inspector!"

"Wallet inspector?!"

Bob turned around, spotting FM's friend X just feet away from him. Just his luck, maybe he would be easy to dupe too?

"Salutations, Mr. X. My name is Bob the Wallet Inspector..." Bob declared, "...and I am here to inspect your wallet to see if there are no potential defects or anything that is missing from the wallet in question!"

"Great! I love a wallet inspector." X said happily, "Here's my wallet."

'Dim-witted sucker!' Bob thought, taking X's wallet. He turned around, made sure that X wasn't watching, and then he swapped out the real wallet with a fake that looked exactly like X's wallet. He turned around, the bag full of stolen wallets and money out of sight, and handed over the false wallet to X.

"Inspection complete, your wallet is safe." Bob announced.

Oblivious to the reality of his situation, X complimented the Garo and hurried off, meeting up with FM just as he was exiting a soup store with a bag full of soup cans. X told his friend that Bob had become a wallet inspector, which made FM remark; "Now that's interesting."

'You bet your ass it is.' The shady "wallet inspector" thought.

Bob carried on with his next target being Carl "CJ" Johnson, who was driving by in a limo. Bob worked his magic, convincing the man that he was a wallet inspector and bribed him into handing over his wallet. Bob swapped out CJ's real dark-brown rubber wallet, with an identical one, which had CJ's ID. He then stepped aside and watched him leave, just as he heard sirens approaching.

Incoming police! The Garo hid in the alleyway, watching as a pair of Mario-looking men in blue uniforms rode by with their cars and motorcycles in the same direction as CJ. Bob then turned, spotting Big Smoke close by as he was eating a cheeseburger.

"Wallet inspector!" Bob declared.

Big Smoke turned. "Bob?!" He exclaimed, "Oooooh, my dawg, it's been forever! What's up?"

"Did I stutter, bro? I said 'wallet inspector'."

"You're workin' as a wallet inspector now? Well, I didn't think you'd ask for my wallet. I do have this 40s wallet that I looted from a crazy old woman who rambled about raisins..."

"Just let me inspect your wallet, LOL!"

Big Smoke stared blankly at Bob, then he gave him the wallet in his pocket and watched as the Garo turn around to "inspect" it. And then, the Garo turned back to return the wallet to Smoke before he suspected a thing. Unbeknownst to the crook, the robed hobo had swapped the wallet for a fake one just like with the others that he had taken in the past several minutes.

Picking pockets under the guise of inspecting wallets was so amazing for someone like Bob. At this rate, he nearly had hundreds of dollars with all of the cash from his victims' real wallets combined along with the cash that Sans had paid him with.

In fact, perhaps he could use all of that money to open a business that could further his scams. What to do, what to do, Bob had so many more ideas to think of.

The sleezy Garo Robe walked away from the alley where Big Smoke was hanging out, eager to move on to his next scam. The police were nowhere in sight and nobody else was suspecting a thing about that hooded wallet inspector roaming the streets and taking wallets from other people, Bob was more than thrilled that he just got away with stealing from Big Smoke.

Bob looked around, thinking of all the people he could take wallets from, then he decided that it was time for the wallet inspector to hang up his mantle. He had another idea to get more money, so many more ideas, and it didn't just have to involve "inspecting wallets".