The Outsider Chapter 47: True Faith, a rurouni kenshin fanfic

A/N: Just wanted to say that I'm going to take a week off from this story due to health reasons. There will be one or even two very large updates that will be about Soujiro's POV from the beginning of this story, starting from when he first found Kenshin's pictures online around one year ago. I feel a bit nervous writing it because I think it will make him look, well.. slightly worse than he already does so far lmao. But never the less, I think it'll make him appear more complex as a character, and add a nice twist to this story. The next update will be posted on Sunday, November 5th. Other than that, enjoy the chapter!

"When I was a very small boy
Very small boys talked to me
Now that we've grown up together
They're afraid of what they see"

- New Order

Nothing feels real anymore.

"What?" Sanosuke grunts, looking at me with an awkward gait as Kenshin helps me sit down on the couch behind me carefully, "Are you sure about that?"

"Soujiro," Yahiko comes up and sits down next to me to wrap his arm around my shoulder, "You okay, bro?"

Kenshin sits on the other side of me and has one hand on my back, and another on top of my own hand, quietly observing me in concern.

"I.." I gulp, shutting my eyes and nodding, "I know those license plate numbers from anywhere. That's definitely my dad behind all of this. I knew it. I fucking knew it..!"

"He seems a little dumb in the head for him to bring out his entire limo out and about like this," Megumi shakes her head incredulously, looking at me now, "Do you think that was your dad behind the wheel, or somebody else?"

"My dad hardly ever drives," I exhale carefully, calming down as I feel Kenshin's hand on my back caressing me lovingly, "He'd rather have a driver take him anywhere he pleases. So that can't be him behind the wheel. I don't even know if he's in that limo that night, or if he had some of his men take his car out to do the errand on his behalf. But I know that limo.."

"Fuck," Sanosuke looks at his phone screen carefully, "This is bad. That old man's got blood lust. This is so much worse than I could have ever predicted.."

"I'm just," I inhale sharply and blinking rapidly, the gang looking on at me with an even deeper concern now, "I'm just so scared that he's going to hurt Kenshin next. I can't live with myself if he goes and shoots Kenshin with a gun, or worse..!"

"Soujiro," Kenshin mumbles gently next to me, "I already told you, didn't I? We don't know that yet."

"Well," Megumi gulps uneasily, "I'll tell you one thing, but I'm on Soujiro's side with all of this. That old man doesn't fuck around, and it shows. Kenshin, you're in danger in more ways than one."

Kenshin looks up at the rest of the gang and scoffs, "And what are you all going to do about that? I am not going to send Soujiro back to his father, I'm sorry."

Misao sits down on another couch, exhaling with stress, "Yeah, but.. I don't.. I can't believe this is even happening. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if something were to happen to you, Kenshin.."

"I mean," Yahiko grunts, "I wouldn't suggest that Soujiro goes back to live with his dad or anything, but.. Maybe it would be good for Soujiro to reach out to his dad? See what he has to say? Maybe remind him one more time that he'll release everything if he does come after Kenshin?"

"No," Kenshin glowers, catching all of us by surprise, "I refuse."

"Kenshin.." I look at him now, my eyes wavering.

He grunts and gets up from the couch, looking at the floor with resistance, "I'm sorry, but I refuse to let Soujiro do that. He has to get over being his son. He has to move on with his life. If he talks to his dad, God only knows what his father will say that will make Soujiro come back to him again. I know how all of that shit works."

We're all quiet now, looking at the redhead as he seethes silently from where he stands. Despite the fact that I should know better than to crawl back to my dad, what Kenshin said is correct. My dad could very well try to manipulate me to come back on account of this murder case now, and try to drive a wedge between all of us just by turning my fears against me. This was all calculative and strategic on his part; to just go and call my dad would be foolish on my part.

But still.. Kenshin..

"How can we stay safe, though?" I ask to myself quietly, though Kenshin did hear me by the way he turns around to look at me from over his shoulder.

He grunts, "I don't know.."

"Is it even safe for you to be here right now?" Megumi starts nibbling on the side of her thumb with sheer anxiety, "Maybe you two should go back home. Just to be on the safe side."

I grunt, "Yeah. Maybe."

"But first," Sanosuke takes a step forward and crosses his arms over his chest, "We should let those girls know about Shishio. They were victimized by him and they deserve to know. This would probably help them move on at long last, as well."

"Yeah." Yahiko concurs.

"We can call Shura," I get up to come over where Kenshin is standing now, placing my hand on his shoulder, "Won't we?"

He nods, "Yeah. Sure."

"We'll contact Chizuru on your behalf," Misao chimes in with a sad smile, already let down that Kenshin and I have to go so soon, "Let's just get you both home."

"I'll drive you two," Yahiko nods, "I'm not too far from here and can borrow my dad's car. You can even say hi to my mom. She already misses you two a lot."

Kenshin and I look at him before looking at each other. So much has already happened today that we're both already so emotionally exhausted. It might be best to go home, after all. Even if we do wish we could stay. Plus, we just don't feel safe being here anymore, and we don't want to put our other friends' lives into jeopardy. We finally nod towards Yahiko, bidding our goodbyes to the rest of our friends by sharing hugs and fist bumps before walking out Misao's front door.

Kenshin..

What are we going to do?

Yahiko drove us both home and soon, we find ourselves in Kenshin's bedroom again. It's only around 4:00 PM once we arrived, so Hiko is not home from work yet. Yahiko drove away after bidding his farewells for now, and it was hard to see him leave; we were afraid that somehow he will face danger due to my father. We told him to please text us once he's back at Misao's place safely, and he said he will. After all that's happened today, I am completely wiped out. Kenshin and I lie in the bed, holding each other, and not saying anything at all.

Finally, I mumble, "I'm so scared, Kenshin."

Silence.

".. Me too."

I feel surprised at him at least admitting that part out loud. But never the less, I hug him tighter, prompting him to snuggle up against me closer in response. We are quiet for a while longer, my eyes fluttering close as I secretly inhale Kenshin's sweet scent. It's said that attraction comes first through your nose, perhaps even before your eyes. Kenshin smells absolutely divine to me, so it makes sense.

"What are we going to do?" I ask him softly.

Silence.

"I don't know."

"I don't want to lose you."

"I know.."

"Kenshin.. I just.. feel so scared of being here.."

"Why?"

"Because my dad has to know where you are, right? He has to know that we're intimate.."

Silence once again.

"That doesn't matter to me."

"Kenshin..?"

"Soujiro," He leans back so that we can see each others' faces, "I'm not letting you go. I'm not going to let you go back to live with him again. I know why he's doing this. It's a threat on his part, and he's trying to make you afraid and try to come back. I can see right through it. You can't let him win."

"But.." I gulp, my eyes fluttering down to look at his chest carefully, ".. I just can't.. afford to lose you.."

He smirks at me, stroking my hair gently.

"Silly. You won't lose me."

I smirk quietly back in return, taken back by his total arrogance. I don't reply.

"I mean it." He presses further, rubbing my arm with his hand to comfort me.

"I don't know. I just," I sigh, ".. I just think that I'm worried about nothing. He knows I'll ruin our lives with our intel if he does try to do something to you. He should know better than to pull something like this towards me. But.. I'm still so deathly afraid, Kenshin. I love you so much, and it kills me to know that you might get hurt."

"Then," He shifts his weight on the bed to get more comfortable, "We should maybe do online schooling for a while, if you're not feeling safe being out there anymore. I'll be here, too, if you want."

"Yes.. I need you to stay here. Of course." I lean in to kiss him chastely on the lips.

He kisses the bridge of my nose lovingly, leaning his forehead against my own, ".. Hey, Soujiro?"

"Yeah?"

He smiles, "It's weird of me to come out and say this now out of nowhere, but.. I think I understand why you're so worried."

I giggle softly, wondering where he's going with this now, "Why's that?"

"When I was younger, I saw this movie about these cowboys," He kisses the tip of my nose now, "I must've been like, maybe twelve or something. And it was playing on live cable at the time, late one night during summer. School was out, and I was bored. So, I watched it."

I watch him recount this story, smiling and finding him so adorable right now.

"And then, these cowboys.. They got married to women, you know. But before that happened, they had an affair together. And even though they both got married to other people afterwards, they kept coming back together and have sex near the mountains. And it was a good thing I saw that movie all by myself, because there was no way I would let the other guys know what I was watching that time."

"Oh," I giggle quietly, "I think I know that movie. It had a sad ending, didn't it?"

"Yeah. One of them died. And the other one never knew exactly how, but.. he kinda figured that the other guy died at the hands of these bigots. And it was why he tried so hard to keep their affairs a secret, even if he loved him more than anything in the world. Guy was clearly in denial of who he was, but.. he just wanted to protect his lover."

I smile wider, moving in to kiss his forehead now, "I guess you understand where I'm coming from, then."

"I guess I do." He hums happily as I peck him multiple times on his forehead with more kisses.

"Say, Kenshin?" I lean back to look at his face again, "I can't be the only guy you were ever attracted to.. right?"

His eyes flicker up and around, as if trying to remember something, "Hmm.. I mean.. Truthfully, I've mostly been into.. you know.."

I smirk, "Oh, of course. Ladies man and all of that."

"But.." He sighs, "I do remember one guy that I felt.. something towards.. when I was younger.."

My eyes widen, "Really? Who was it?"

I don't know why, but this excites me for some reason. I don't really have any interest in being with legitimately straight guys because that's just weird. Even if I make jokes about them being cute sometimes, I know their boundaries. So, to have Kenshin admit that there was a guy before me.. makes me feel less strange about myself and my own sexuality.

He groans with a smile, "God, this must've been.. maybe when I was fourteen or fifteen? But, I was walking out somewhere after hanging out with Sanosuke and Aoshi, and needed to get home because I was worried about my dad. Hiko, I mean. And as I was walking near the convenience store, debating whether I should go in to get a snack or go straight home.. these glass doors from one store opened, and out came this guy.."

I wait in anticipation, hovering my lips near his and peering into his eyes. He halts, looking down at my lips with lust, but stops himself so that he can continue the story despite the obvious stiffy I feel poking against my own groin.

".. And he there he was, tall and rouged looking. He was maybe several years older than me. He looked so cool. He was wearing this leather jacket and those ripped jeans. His black hair was a little on the longer side, and he had these really dark eyes. And he had this really nice, tanned completion. It made me a little embarrassed of my own skin, because I had a sunburn on my face that day and looked like a fucking idiot."

I giggle, "You must've been so cute back then."

He shrugs casually, "Yeah, if you like sunburned redheads."

"Maybe I do," I grin at him playfully, my lips still dangerously close to his, "Continue."

"He kept walking on and, against my better judgement.. I followed him. He kept walking down the streets until he came across this short bridge overlooking a small river. He stopped to have a cigarette break, and I guess that's when he noticed I was tailing behind him all this time. I thought he was gonna be mad at me, you know; what guy wouldn't be? But.. he wasn't mad. He smiled at me and offered me a cigarette. And that was the very first time I smoked."

"Wow.." I gasp quietly to myself, "So then what happened?"

He shrugs, "Nothing much. He talked about his band. He was a guitar player, and had hopes to get out of Japan to start touring other countries soon. Said that he wished I was old enough to go to their local shows, because the bars they play at only let in legal adults. But he was really cool. I couldn't stop looking at his leather jacket. I couldn't stop looking at the way he smoked his cigarette without a care in the world. I couldn't stop looking at his lips.."

I lean in completely to start kissing him, my hand on his sleeve tightening as I do so. He moans quietly and kisses me back, probably confused as to why I'm showing him affection like this when he basically admitted to being attracted to some other guy back then. But I don't mind. I don't mind that he had a past before me, even if our histories might look differently from an outsider's perspective. The fact that he felt brave enough to follow some guy he doesn't know, all because he was subconsciously attracted to him..

It makes me feel so much closer to him.

I break away, just a hair away from his lips before I whisper, "And then what happened?"

He pauses, looking at my lips, debating whether he should take me right here, right now. But he continues with a low murmur, "And then he told me that I look so cool with my red hair, and to always be myself. I never forgot about him after that. I don't know how many times I walked around in that area afterwards, looking for him. I wanted to keep talking to him. At the time, I thought it was because I wanted to be his friend. But I guess, deep down.. I just wanted to be with him for real."

"Wait a minute," I lean back a little to giggle at his stupefied expression, "Long hair, leather jacket, smoking cigarettes, and playing the guitar? It sounds like the you I know today, doesn't it?"

He smiles sheepishly, his cheeks reddening, "Yeah. Imitation is the most sincerest form of flattery."

"Indeed. That is so sweet. And adorable."

"Shut up." He lightly shoves my shoulder in playful retaliation, earning me a chuckle.

"Did you ever thought about what you would say to him if you ever saw him again?"

"Yeah," He scoffs, "Probably thank him for letting me copy him because now, everyone thinks I'm such a bad ass. Especially to a certain hot guy!"

I giggle, "Well, can't argue with that! It definitely attracted me when I first saw you."

"What about you?"

"Huh?"

"Did you ever met anyone who you wanted to emulate afterwards?"

"Hmm," I take a few seconds to ponder over it, but then came back with a shrug, "Not really. My parents made sure to style me to the best of their ability to show me how I am supposed to look. We would hire these stylists who then sent me wardrobes of what my parents believed made me look my very best."

"Seriously?" Kenshin rub his hand over his eyebrow with a wince, "That's so weird. So you never dressed the way you wanted? Ever?"

I shrug again, "I don't think it's a big deal. If you're gonna be a part of the rich class, you have to look the part, right?"

"Yeah, but," He takes a gander of my outfit that I put on today—a pair of long sleeved navy cable knit cardigan covering over a light blue button down cotton shirt to go with my casual jeans—with a playful smirk, "I mean. Don't get me wrong. It's a cute look. But I seem to have recalled you dressing up like a punk rocker over Halloween, and.. I gotta say, that looks way better than this get-up."

I blink rapidly at him in confusion, "Really? You think so?"

"I'm serious. This whole preppy corporate look is holding you back and then some. We need to start dressing you up the way you want. You can even borrow some of my stuff if that helps you start."

I giggle, "Kenshin! This is so weird!"

"Weird? I think you'll look amazing," He brushes some of my hair behind my ear lovingly, "With that nice grunge look or something. A pair of ripped jeans and a flannel shirt.. maybe messing up your hair a bit.. and even the guys at school won't know what to do with themselves once they see you."

I smirk, "You're really into this, aren't you?"

He bites his lower lip with a smile, "You'll look so hot."

"Careful," I wink, "You'll only invite more competition if I end up looking too hot."

"That's alright. I can fight. I'll make sure you stay mines."

I soften inwardly at that, sighing, "I love you."

He gives me a peck on my cheek, "Love you too. Dork."

Right at that moment, we hear the front door from all the way downstairs opening and closing, and Hiko's voice calling out, "I'm home!"

"Huh," Kenshin leans on his elbow, looking towards his closed bedroom door now, "He's home early."

I check my phone for the time, "Does he usually get home this early? It's not even four-thirty yet."

We hear him walking towards the kitchen, and Kenshin sits up on his bed along with me, "Let's say hi to him at least. Maybe we can talk to him about what's happened."

"Kenshin.." I whisper, feeling nervous all of a sudden, "You think Hiko could help us?"

"He has to. He used to be a detective. And now he's working for your dad. He's probably in danger, too."

I gulp. Shit. Fuck. He's right. Not only is my boyfriend in danger, but so are his friends and the only family member he has left. Hiko has every right to know what's going on. At that, I nod in agreement, and we both go downstairs. We find Hiko taking out a soda can from the fridge, and he looks up at us with a smile, "Hey, kids!"

"We're not kids," Kenshin scoffs, but then smiles at him good naturedly, "You're home early."

"Ah, yeah," Hiko sits down by the kitchen table to enjoy his soda, "Boss let me go home early since I did everything I had to do for today. He seemed quite pensive today, though. I almost asked him what was going on, but.. y'know. He seems like the type to keep it all inside, I think."

"He seemed pensive?" I sit down by the kitchen table as well, Kenshin following me by sitting on another side of the table.

"He seemed to be thinking a lot about something," Hiko shrugs, "I figured something must've happened at home, or he's having troubles in his marriage."

"Ah," I feel myself blushing now, "He's not married right now. He just has a girlfriend at the moment."

"Oh," Hiko frowns at me, "That's.. weird."

"Weird how?" Kenshin's eyebrow cocks up at him.

"Well," Hiko frowns deeper, "It's just.. Mr Seta was wearing what looked to be an engagement ring on one of his fingers today."

I grunt in surprise, staring at him wide eyed, ".. What did you just say?"

Hiko stares at me, dumb founded, "Oh. Apparently you two aren't on talking terms at all, but.. Yeah. He's engaged to whoever's with him right now."

Silence.

"That son of a bitch," I grit my teeth, feeling my hands forming into fists over my lap, "If he's marrying that woman I know, then he's definitely making sure that I will be forced into that arranged marriage with her second cousin."

Hiko whistles, "Wow. That is a problem."

"Dad," Kenshin hesitates before he continues, "I really need to show you something. As well as tell you something.. we both have to tell you something."

Hiko's eyes squints at us as he finishes his last swig of his soda, "Yeah?"

"I guess you heard about a student from our school who was killed," I nodded my head cautiously, which got Hiko's attention on me squarely now, "We found out what happened on the night he was killed. There was a limo that chased after him.. and it belongs to my dad."

Hiko gapes at me in surprise now, putting his can on the side and leans on his elbows over the table now, "You can't be serious?"

Kenshin nods, "Dead serious. That guy who was killed? He was the guy that got me in the hospital. He's gone, dad. And Soujiro's dad is probably behind it."

"We have proof," I mumble, "Sanosuke and Yahiko talked to Shishio's friend today, and that guy sent Sano a picture of the limo's license plate. It's definitely my father that he rides in every once in a while."

"But," Hiko looks at his own hands in confusion, "I don't understand? Why would he want to be caught so easily like this?"

"That's what we're wondering about," Kenshin shakes his head slowly at the madness of it all, "But we're thinking he did that as a threat towards me and Soujiro. He's obviously mad that Soujiro's going to live here with us."

"I see," Hiko leans back in his chair, his eyebrows shooting up, "Christ. This is worse than I thought."

I bite my lower lip anxiously, muttering, "I am.. so sorry, sir. I feel like this is all my fault. Me living here is going to now put you both in danger."

"Well, now, hold on," Hiko lifts one hand up, "It probably will make us unsafe for now, but this will help me with my own investigation. Especially since I've known he has put his hands on you, Soujiro, I've been looking through the computer systems to see what I can come up with. And to be honest.. I've not once came across anything that suggests that he is leading any shady businesses. I guess he scrubbed it all clean after your friends hacked into him. Except for one thing.."

Kenshin and I grunt, looking at him as we wait for what he means by that.

"I tried looking him up. Your father, I mean," Hiko looks back at me, laying his hand back down on the table, "I manage to hack into the system that connected to all of his work files that he keeps on a separate laptop in his office. I know you and Kenshin gathered things from his home laptop, but he has another one. And, well.. Soujiro, let me ask you this: How much do you remember about your mother during her last days?"

"I.." I hesitate, looking at my hands over my lap now, "I don't really remember much. Just that my dad told me that she was very sick, and that she couldn't be home around me anymore. That she's basically stuck at the hospital and receiving private care.. I was only a child, so of course I believed him."

"And you were told that she died from cancer. Correct?"

I grunt, feeling my head swimming all of a sudden for some reason. I look back up at Hiko's face, his expression scaring me now.

"I.. yes.. he told me it was Leukemia.."

"Soujiro.." Hiko gulp, looking all shades of reluctance for what he is about to tell me, ".. Your mother didn't die of cancer. In fact, there's no record of her death certificate anywhere. As far as I'm concerned.."

Kenshin and I wait, a slow realization slowly dawning on us even before Hiko finishes his sentence.

".. Your mother is probably still alive."

[Ten years ago]

I am eight years old.

My family and I are staying at a rural mansion overlooking the vineyards in the south of Italy for the summer. My dad is busy and off doing something away from the home, so it's just me and my mommy for today. It was hot out, so my mom made sure to keep bringing me cups of water and juice every once in a while to keep me cool. I am chasing my pet puppy around, who I have not given her a name yet.

Never the less, I am having a blast.

"Soujiro, dear!" I hear a woman's voice calling out in the distance softly, "Lunch is ready!"

"Coming!" I call back, grabbing my puppy into my arms to haul her with me as I walk towards the back of the house, where I see my mom sitting near a table and underneath a big umbrella to cover her in the shade. There are plates of Italian dishes and snacks abounding the table, and the help makes sure to prepare my daddy's seating, in case he comes around on time.

"Wow!"

"Does it look good for Soujiro?" My mommy asks me, smiling with just her eyes. She looks especially beautiful today in her summer peach dress.

"Mom, I love it!" I giggle, sitting near her now as one of the help puts on a napkin in my shirt collar, "Where's dad?"

"He's not back yet from his meeting," My mom's facial expression seem to have shown a split second of discomfort when she said that, but quickly covers it up with a bright beam as she smiles at me, "What were you playing with the dog?"

"I was just," I shrug with one shoulder, "Chasing after her. She is the robber and stole a lot of money."

"Oh? And are you the police?"

I nod enthusiastically, "Yup!"

"Do you want to be a police officer when you grow up, Soujiro?"

"Yup!" I chortle, counting the fingers on my hand, "And I want to be a fireman, and a park ranger, and a movie star, and a doctor, and—!"

I am interrupted by the sound of my mother's laughter, "My! You will be quite a busy grown up, will you?"

I giggle, "Yup!"

"I guess you'll be making a lot of money," She smirks to herself as she digs into her food, "And take care of mommy when she's very old, will you?"

"Yup!"

"But sweetie.. you know you can't do all of that at the same time."

I blink at her, "Why not, mommy?"

She giggles behind her hand politely at my naivety, "Well, for one thing.. You will have to one day grow up to be a king."

"A king?" I tilt my head to the side, "You mean.. with a castle? And knights and dragons?"

She nods, "Mm hmm. One day, you will rule the land as a rightful king and follow after daddy's steps."

"My dad is a king?"

"He is, indeed. And he is preparing your castle for you to take over once you grow up."

"Mommy.." I look at my puppy who is now chewing on a soft bone nearby, "Does this mean I need to marry a princess?"

"Why, of course!" She exhales with a smile, "You will one day marry a beautiful princess, and she will become your rightful queen!"

I don't not know what to say to that. A part of me felt strangely unexcited to that idea.. and yet, another part of me felt some sort of dread when she said that I had to one day marry a princess. Perhaps that is what love feels like? I am not so sure. Regardless, I pipe up with a smile, "Okay! I'll marry a princess! Anything for mommy!"

"That's a good boy."

"Mommy?"

"Yes, dear?"

"Can I marry you instead?"

She stares at me, dumb founded, but then she laughs, "Oh, if only it were that simple! But as your mother, I cannot. I'm so sorry, sweetie."

I deflate, looking down at my lap, feeling an emotion that is so hard to explain.

But I don't want to marry a princess.

[Four years later]

I am now twelve years old.

As of three weeks ago.. my mother passed away.

She was gone for what felt like forever. One day she was at home, tending to her private matters and trying to be the best mother she can.. and the next, she was gone. I was told back then, that she had fallen ill, and that she had to stay at a special hospital for people of her kind. My father told me that it was time that I grew up to be a man without a woman around me to "poison my mind" with inane nonsense, and to start focusing on the future. I took that to heart very seriously, and really studied hard at school in order to prepare for this mythical future ahead of me.

I was convinced that studying and getting the perfect grades, would somehow make my mother come home to me.

But it never happened.

Instead, I was told she passed away in the hospital bed, and had to be burned into ashes. My father never received those ashes. I never remembered a funeral, or receiving anything of my mother's belongings after her passing. All I remember was being a lonely child, wondering how my mother could just up and disappear like this. I remember lounging around, crying in different corners of my home while father was away somewhere, and having the help comfort me as much as they can.

I remember just coming to terms immediately with what happened to mother, because it was my dad who told me what happened.

I knew I could trust him.

Because who lies to a twelve year old child?

Who?

[Present day]

Now, I am eighteen years old.

The relationship between my father and I, is completely ruined.

Although we were never truly close, with all things considered.. all that's happened in the last few months have done nothing but brought us further apart. And especially in the last couple of weeks of this, I now know that I could never look at Father the same way anymore. From the day when Sanosuke and I saw something evil on his laptop, to the day that he tried to force me into marrying a girl that I am not attracted to, to how he has choked and hit me in the kitchen.. all of that has come down to this moment, when Hiko looks at me in the eye and told me yet another horrible truth.

My mother may very well be still alive.

"But then.." I shake my head slowly in disbelief, "How could that be?"

"Soujiro.." Kenshin's voice is the softest I've heard from him, reaching out his hand so that he can rub it on my back to comfort me.

"If you permit me," Hiko clears his throat so that I can look at him again, "I can see if I can try to find your biological mother. I had to do that before when I worked in the police department. Lots of people up and disappear into thin air all the time. It's not always because they're dead."

"But this is crazy!" I hiss, rubbing my face into my hand, "I can't.. believe.. my father would just lie to me like this..!"

"Hey," Kenshin leans in to my side carefully, "We're here for you, Soujiro. And you have friends here now that care about you."

I gulp, my face still hiding behind my hand. I feel so humiliated. So thrown off. So stupid! How could I have missed the signs?! I know my dad mistreated my mom. I know that he cheated on her. I know he never loved her the way a husband should love his wife. But how could I have been so stupid as to believe him when he told me that she was dying of cancer? I never even saw her after her supposed diagnosis!

"I was so stupid.." I whimper.

"You were only a child, Soujiro." Hiko adds, helpfully.

"That's right," Kenshin whisper, "You can't be so hard on yourself.."

"I know.." I sigh, my hand slipping off of my face to let it land on my lap, "I just.. wish I could see her now. I wish I could talk to her. Find out where she's coming from.. I miss her so much, after all these years.."

Silence.

"If we do manage to relocate her," Hiko gets up from his chair gingerly, "Would you consider living with her?"

"In a heartbeat!" I nearly sob, taking both of my hands back over my face to hide my tears, "I would do anything.. anything to be with her again!"

Hiko and Kenshin look on helplessly as I continue to cry. I honestly have not cried this much since meeting Kenshin, to be honest. Like, of course I'm a sensitive and emotional guy, deep down. I know what it's like to cry and feel so out of control at times, and let my emotions get the better of me sometimes. But I tried to be secretive about that side of me for all of my life now; when you're born into a family like mines, you learn to adapt quickly to their quiet rules.

Like how boys don't cry.

That was something that was drilled into me for the longest time. Boys don't cry. I learned to keep my joy, my anger, and my tears, all to myself. Because boys don't feel. I learned to only present myself with an affable smile, and do what I needed to do to please everyone around me. I knew better than to show that softer side of me to Father, and I knew better than to let the kids at school see me cry whenever they would bully me.

Because boys don't cry.

But ever since I've met Kenshin.. so much of my feelings came pouring out. And you know something? A tiny part of me used to resent him for it. I hated facing this type of darkness inside of me that I tried so hard to keep it locked and hidden away. But at the same time, though.. It's because I'm crying so much, that I feel so much better now. And it's all because of him. Because Kenshin, even if he himself also feels uncomfortable with his own emotions.. he likes to keep things real. He likes to keep things honest and truthful.

It's thanks to his thirst for the truth, that I manage to find my own truth about myself.

And I can't thank him enough for it.

"I'm sorry.." I sniffle, wiping my tears away with the back of my hand, "I think.. I want to retire for today. Too much has happened and I just need to be alone."

"Soujiro.." Kenshin mumble, secretly taking my hand back into his from underneath the table.

"That's fine," Hiko nods humbly, "I'll cook us a nice dinner real quickly, and I'll have Kenshin bring it up to you in the guest room. Won't you, son?"

"Uh," Kenshin looks back at him with a befuddled expression, but manages to nod quickly afterwards, "Y-yeah, dad. I will."

"So that settles it, then," Hiko now smiles at me, "Go on, then, go to your room and take some time to rest. You've been through a lot today."

I nod, shakily getting up from the chair, which made Kenshin quickly stand up alongside with me to steady me. I see a quick flash of Hiko's eyes flying towards Kenshin, and for some reason, I feel a kick in my stomach at the sight of it. Is Hiko still feeling awkward over our relationship? Is he still adjusting to seeing his stepson in a whole new light now? I immediately step away from Kenshin and smile at him awkwardly, "I'll be okay, Kenshin. I'll be fine on my own getting up. I'll text you if I need anything."

"Are you su.." He sees something in my eyes and immediately backs down, nodding with a sigh, "Um. Okay. Yeah."

Thank you, Kenshin.

I smile at him mutely, nodding at Hiko to bid my goodbye for now, and head up towards the stairwell to start climbing. I should probably look for my mother's photograph in my room to give it to Kenshin once he brings my dinner up later on tonight.

Hiko would probably need it way more than I do right now.

"Come in."

The door of my room opens and in comes Kenshin, holding a bed tray with tonight's dinner on it. He smiles at me shyly before walking towards the bed where I am lying on right now.

"It smells delicious," I sit up correctly and lift up my arms so that Kenshin can lie the tray over my lap, "Hiko's a great cook."

"He is, yeah."

"I'd ask you to feed me by the mouth, but," I chuckle, "I don't want your dad walking in on us doing something awkward."

He watches me for a while as I take my utensils and start mixing up the foods together to begin, ".. You wanna show my dad the picture of your mom?"

"I got it right on my night stand next to you," I point with my chin at the photograph of my mom that glints quietly under my lamp light, "And yeah. You can show it to him. I don't mind."

"And you were.." He clears his throat, "Serious about moving in with your mom?"

"If we do find her, yeah. I miss her."

"Do you think she'll like me?" Kenshin leans in to rub his forehead against my temple gently to cuddle with me like a cat.

"Hmm," I take a moment to ponder, taking a piece of meat with my chopstick to observe it carefully, "Well.. I think, even if she doesn't like you, that would just make me all the more attracted to you. I love dating rebels."

He chuckles quietly to himself, "Oh, I see. High standards type of gal?"

"She married well, so she does like it when things and people are brought up to her standards. But honestly, I don't care."

"Do you think she might've changed over the years?"

"I hope not," I look at him in the eyes now, "I mean, I'd like her for her to be happier without my dad. But I have to wonder if she's, like.. more unstable because of what happened."

"Yeah," He frowns, "That is possible."

"Regardless," I sigh, popping the piece of meat into my mouth, "I'd still want to live with her, if only to take care of her while I study for my last few months of high school."

"Would you go home to her during breaks from college, too?"

"Huh?" I blink at him now before laughing, "Kenshin! Don't tell me you're worried that I'm going to spend all my time with her and none on you?"

He looks on at me with a deadpan expression. So that's what it is. I smile at him, giggling under my throat.

"Kenshin. Don't be jealous of my mom, of all people."

"I'm not.."

"She's not going to replace you, you know. And I've made plans with you in it. I promise I won't abandon you or forget about you."

"You promise?"

Aw.

"I swear."

He nods slowly, "Alright, then. I just wanted to check in."

I lean in to kiss the bridge of his nose, "You're too much, you know that?"

"Sorry. I just love you so much."

"And I love you more," I smile at him, taking the photograph off the night table next to me before placing it into his hands, "Well, off you go, then. Once we're done eating, maybe we can watch a movie in your room?"

He shrugs with one shoulder, "Sure."

I beam at him and he takes his leave. I finish eating up my dinner in peace, but about five minutes later, I hear my phone vibrating on the charger right next to me. I blink, taking the phone and switching it on while I chew on the last piece of chicken in my mouth. It's Kenshin.

hey. you're not gonna believe this, but mrs kita's downstairs. she wants to see you.

My eyebrows jump up. Our homeroom teacher is here? But why? And in the middle of the evening too, at that? I wonder what she wants. It must be something serious. I text him back "ok" before taking the table tray off of my lap and carefully placing it on the floor nearby to get myself prepared. I walk down the stairs to see three different heads chatting with each other in the living room, and clear my throat to announce my arrival.

Hiko and Kenshin both look up at me curiously, while Mrs Kita glances up with some concern in her eyes. In her hands is what appears to be a gift basket, full of flowers, fruits, chocolates, and other edibles. What is that? And who is it for? Finally, Mrs Kita answers my questions that she seemed to have read inside my own confused eyes, "Mr Seta. These came for you during homeroom this morning. It's from your father."

Oh.

"What?" I blink, "Really?"

She nods, "The envelope clearly says so, I'm afraid. And I suppose my suspicion over you living someplace else is also confirmed."

I blush with a grunt, looking down at myself, not knowing what to say.

She sighs, "It's alright. I am not angry. You are an adult, after all. But that would mean that this sort of thing cannot keep happening. Our school does not allow receiving gifts like this unless its for a holiday, such as Valentine's Day or Christmas."

"I-I'm so sorry, ma'am," I bow to her from where I stand near the stairwell, "I never thought my father would pull something like this. I understand how inappropriate all of this is."

She watches me carefully before she nods, "Good. Are you happy living here with Kenshin?"

I gape at her dumbly for a couple of seconds, before chuckling, "Y-Yes! I love it here!"

"Mrs Kita," Hiko jumps in, prompting us all to look at him, "I really feel that I should explain myself, being the one who owns this residency. You see, Soujiro here has been feeling unsafe with his father, so we've decided to take him in for the time being. It's really a matter of temporary accommodation while he figures things out with his family. In no way are we trying to adopt him or anything of the sort."

Mrs Kita chuckles once under her breath, "Oh, of course not. Absolutely. I do understand what is happening. I have had some words exchanged over the phone with Soujiro's father, and.. Well, call it mother's intuition, but I always thought he seemed more preoccupied over other things rather than the well being of his son. If there's something I care most about being a teacher, it's making sure that all of my students are living in a safe, loving home."

"We also wanted to say," I start again, "That Kenshin and I don't feel safe coming into the school after that announcement over Shishio's death, and we're wondering if we could use Canvas for a little while."

She nods, "Well, school's policy indicates that students may use Canvas to do their schoolwork at home. However, it is only good for up to two weeks. Would that give you two enough time until you feel safe coming back?"

"A couples of weeks does sound good," I nod, "Right, Kenshin?"

He shrugs, "Sure."

"You two are going to have to study twice as hard while you are here at home," Hiko crosses his arms over his chest, "I mean it. And this will not mean that you two are off duty from your weekly chores, either."

"Yes, dad." Kenshin groans, which made me bite my lower lip to prevent myself from giggling out loud.

"But may I ask," Mrs Kita gets up from the couch finally, "Why are you two feeling unsafe at school over Shishio? As much as it may pains me to say this, I for one feel at partially relieved that he's no longer around anymore. And we are working on paperwork to expel his other friends who were involved in the bullying of the two of you. So then, why?"

I look at Kenshin in time as his eyes flicker over to me. Do we tell her what we know about today? It would mean involving her into this situation even further than she is right now. We've already endangered the lives of our friends and Hiko, so to also put it on Mrs Kita would be pretty selfish of us to do. And yet, looking at this woman before us, she can't help but look between us with eyes that could only match a mother who wants nothing more than to keep all young people safe.

Kenshin finally gets up from the couch, which catches Mrs Kita's attention, "We could tell you. But that would mean that you would be in danger."

She balks at him silently, frowning and blinking, "Danger?"

"Kenshin.." Hiko looks at his stepson uneasily, but judging by the glare that Kenshin is giving to him now, he sighs in defeat and nods.

Kenshin looks back at our homeroom teacher and says, "We might know who killed Makoto Shishio. We were given a tip from a friend of his in the neighborhood where they both live in. Apparently, a limo was seen following Shishio. The license plate number belongs to the driver of Soujiro's dad."

Her eyes widen in shock, staring at him, "And you are certain of this?"

"We are," I answer for Kenshin, "I recognize those numbers from anywhere. It's through a limo company that dad uses a few times a week."

She looks at us both, sinking back down into the couch and staring at nothing for a while. We all look at her, already feeling sorry that we've surprised her like this. She sighs, her shoulders drooping, and rubs her fingers over her forehead, "Oh, Kami, this is bad.."

"Although," Hiko frowns into a space in front of him in contemplation, "Is it possible that your father has more than one driver?"

I grunt, trying to recall. I don't usually remember things like that too clearly. Never the less, I answer him: "It's possible. He really doesn't like to drive if he can help it, but it's not like he was ever interested in actually hiring a full time driver. He enjoys playing with his fancy car, especially when he's going out on dates."

"Those limousine companies tend to send out a different driver every time your father called them for one," Hiko hums as he thinks further, "Even if it's true that the limo belongs to one of his drivers.. that same driver could have driven around some other client the same day that Shishio was murdered."

"So in a way, we have proof, but.." Kenshin trails off, grunting at the realization.

"It won't hold up in court," Mrs Kita finishes the sentence for him, nodding, "I'm sorry."

"But then!" I gripe, already feeling anger rising up inside of me, "The police could still question him on his whereabouts on the night of Shishio's murder! There's no way he could possibly get away with this!"

"He could still lie," Hiko sighs somberly, "He could make up an alibi or spin something against the police force. The Kyoto Police Department have already dropped all of the charges against us because his lawyers threatened them. That man's bulletproof."

"This is going to be a lot harder than we can anticipate," Mrs Kita rubs her hand over her other arm absentmindedly, "He won't make this easy on us at all. This calls for trickery of some sort."

"Get him to admit everything somehow on his own violation," Hiko grunts, "Yeah. That's gonna be tough. He knows his way around business and legal disputes to make sure he doesn't do or say anything that will make him or his enterprise look bad."

"So we'll make him confess," I grunt, glaring at the side towards the floor, "I'll make him to do it, if it's the last thing I'll do, I swear..!"

"But how?" Kenshin blinks at me softly, "You're not thinking of going back there, are you?"

"What do you think?" I grumble under my breath. Kenshin looks taken back.

"You wouldn't," He starts walking towards me, "Tell me you won't go back there!"

The two older adults look on with concern, although Hiko has this look in his eyes as he stares at Kenshin's back in a way I have never seen before. He looks almost afraid that a secret is about to come out, judging by the way his eyes then swoops over to Mrs Kita as she watches the red head trying to stride on over to where I'm at. I look back into Kenshin's eyes, pleading with him silently to please put the brakes on since Mrs Kita is unaware of our relationship.

"Kenshin," I start to chuckle uneasily, placing my hands up in front of me, "Y-You really shouldn't be like this! I appreciate your friendship and all that you've done for me, but.. I was never planning to live here with you forever!"

He halts in his track. My eyebrows shoots up at him, quietly letting him know that people are watching. Specifically, the likes of our homeroom teacher who still doesn't know about the nature of our relationship. He turns to look over his shoulder at where Mrs Kita is sitting at, and grunts quietly to himself. He releases his fists that were hanging by his sides and sighs, "Yeah. I know.. I just.. I'm just worried that he'll hurt you again."

Silence. I sigh, scratching the back of my head with a sheepish smile, "I'm glad I have a friend like you, Kenshin. Really. I mean it."

His cheeks burn red as soon as he stops looking at Mrs Kita and looks into my eyes helplessly. Oh, Kenshin. You really need to learn how to calm down in front of company. Will you always be like this whenever we reach a disagreement in front of other people? I should hope not. Never the less, we hear Mrs Kita doing a polite 'ahem' sound, catching our attention on her now.

"It's wonderful that you two have a very deep friendship with each other," Mrs Kita clears her throat, brushing strands of her greying blonde hair behind her ear, "But, I do think that Soujiro may have a point. If there's anyone on Earth who Mr Tsukino Seta could feel most comfortable around, it would most definitely be his son."

Kenshin glares into my eyes, his lips thinned from pressing against each other too hard. I ignore him and nod towards Mrs Kita with an affable smile, "I agree. It's definitely something I should think about this week."

"I don't think you should be anywhere near that man," Hiko remarks carefully, all too familiar with his stepson's mood swings with how he's now looking at Kenshin's back warily, "Maybe it's best that you give your father a call, instead?"

"But then," I grunt, "How could I possibly have him confess over the phone? He would never go for that."

Hiko gulps, his eyes fluttering towards the floor cautiously. I think I know that look. He figured throwing me that bone would get me to back down and listen to another alternative. But I've already made up my mind. I have to go see my father. Even if it is extremely dangerous to do so; I'd rather he confess everything to my face, than drag this out for longer than necessary.

But then.. Kenshin..

I look at the teenager in front of me. I've thrown away so much just to get with him. I risked a lot just to get him to sleep with me. I couldn't have understood my emotions surrounding this boy in front of me months ago; they seemed so muddled in between feeling hateful towards myself, and desperation for the approval of everyone else around me. And now, here he stands, glaring into my eyes, as if hurt that I am even considering this at all..

But I have to do it.

Otherwise.. someone else could die.

And I won't allow it.

I won't!

"I am going to see my father," I close my eyes, "And I will talk to him. Have him confess to everything, and record him secretly."

Silence dips in the atmosphere. I gulp, not liking how deep it went. I let my eyes peel open so that I can look at the mess before me; Kenshin now looks on with a mixture of concern, hurt, and disappointment. Mrs Kita looks on at me with disquietude, while Hiko gazes at me with helplessness in his eyes. I suppose they're all worried that that man will hurt me, or rope me back into his grasp. And in a way, I understand.

But, what other choice do I have?

This is my life.

And I'm the one who has to suffer the most in it.

I finally bow down politely, "Excuse me. I am feeling very tired right now and would like to retire for tonight. I do want to thank you for your concern, Mrs Kita."

"Soujiro," Mrs Kita gets up gingerly, walking on over past Kenshin to hand me the gift basket to me now, "I am always at reach on Canvas if you ever need to message me privately. For anything. Anything at all. Please be sure to take advantage of it while you stay here."

I smile at her sweetly, "Thank you, Mrs Kita. I will."

Kenshin looks at the back of her head with frustration, yet couldn't bring it to himself to tell her anything. Instead, he keeps his words to himself, looking at the floor dejectedly. He really thought our teacher would stop me, somehow. My heart clenches at the sight of him, but I stand strong on my stance, never the less.

Kenshin..

"Tell me you're not fucking serious, Soujiro."

I let my eyes close, already on edge.

It's about fifteen minutes later after I excused myself from the living room and bidding Mrs Kita goodnight. I went on to take a shower for a night cap and get into my sleepwear, opting to take a moment to look through my notes for school. Just because I am not going to go physically for the next two weeks, does not mean I should be taking a break. Every moment counts to make sure I keep my grade point average as high as possible.

I'm not going to let my grades or my future suffer just because I feel unsafe over my father.

But now, I have to face someone else.

Taken in the form of a red haired, moody male, Kenshin has his arms crossed over his chest and staring daggers at me. If Mrs Kita hadn't visited us and given me that awkward present from my dad, I would have already been cuddled up with Kenshin back in his room while watching a movie together. Instead, I took to getting away from him to focus on my reading, since I know he's got something to say about tonight.

And that something came out of his lips with a growl, "Well? You're really gonna go see your fucking dad after all I've done to get you away from him?"

I glare at him now, "You're upset. You should cool off before you go off on me."

He scoffs in disbelief, gripping his fists on his sides now, "Right! I forgot, I should always be the nice boyfriend to you and you can just go and do whatever you want!"

I sigh, rubbing my temple, "It's too late to be screaming at each other like this, Kenshin. I've made up my mind, and that's final."

"You didn't even let me have a say in any of this!"

"Because it has nothing to do with you."

"Tell me how it has fuck all to do with me!"

"Kenshin. You're yelling."

He gripes, his fists quivering and his face taking on a rosier hue as he steams on the inside. God, he really is a rageaholic if I've ever seen one. I shake my head quietly to myself, just looking at him. I know he loves me and cares for me, but can't he just let me do what I need to do?

"If I don't talk to him, who knows what he'll pull next," I turn away from Kenshin now to look back at my notes and my school book, "Shishio's dead because I've disobeyed him. It's only a matter of time before he tries to kill one of us."

Silence.

"I can handle myself," Kenshin glowers, but I shut my eyes close to try to block him out of my head as he continues to talk, "I don't need you to worry about me. If there's anyone who's in danger out of everyone else, it's you."

"Kenshin," I sigh, looking back at him again, against my better judgement, "What are you so afraid of? That he's going to talk me back into living with him again? That he'll say something that will make me not love you anymore? Kidnap me and send me off to wherever he feels like? Is that what it is?"

He rolls his eyes, "It's like you fucking forgot what you tried to do to me this morning."

"Ah," I smile sadly, "So that's what it is. You're worried I'm just going to run out on you again. Is that what it is? I get it. You're hurt. I know it."

"Don't patronize me," He takes a couple of warning steps towards me, "I don't know if you're happy torturing me like this, but it has to fucking stop. You broke my heart with what you did this morning, and I'm not going to let you do that to me again."

I gape at him, now at a loss for what to say. I guess it can't be helped. I did hurt him. He tried to play it cool before, but after that visit from Mrs Kita, he's reminded of just how easy it is for me to walk away from him. In my defense, I did that because I thought he wanted to break up and go back to his ex-girlfriend. But now that I know that his heart belongs to me, of course I would never do that to him again.

But I guess he is now being found out of just how much he loves me, with the way he's glaring at me, silently pleading me not to go back to my father's.

I stand up from my chair gingerly, opening my arms so that I can embrace him, "Kenshin. I'm sorry for what I've done today. I wasn't.. I wasn't thinking straight at all. You know you're the one I'm in love with, right?"

He doesn't say anything, his fists still hanging on the sides as my arms are wrapped around his neck and nuzzling against his face.

I try once more, whispering into his ear, "I won't visit my dad, if you promise me that you won't end up shrinking my world where it's just us two."

He grunts, his body relaxing now as his confusion grows, "Soujiro..?"

I lean back so that we can see each other's faces, "I just don't want to be the only person you will see or talk to, and I don't want to have to always come to you when I need something. I think we've been at each others' throats ever since we left my dad's place, and as much as I love spending time with you.. don't you think we should also give each other some space?"

His body tenses up at those last couple of words, his arms flying up to wrap them around my waist, "You're not.. breaking up with me, are you..?"

I laugh at his befuddled expression, "No! Kenshin, I'm not leaving you! I'm just saying that we've been quite intense with each other since the hotel room, and I don't want us to keep fighting like this. But we have to take a step back from each other and just trust each other. You told me to trust you when it comes to Kaoru or any other woman, right? So then, why can't I have your trust in me?"

His eyes quiver as he inhales sharply, shutting his eyes closed before he mumbles, "I just.. I'm just so afraid to lose y—!"

I shut him up with a chaste kiss on his lips with my own. We stay like that for a couple of moments before I break away from the kiss, whispering against his lower lip, "You're not going to lose me. Idiot. I love you."

He gapes at me stupidly, before he softens inwardly and kisses me on the lips again.

".. I love you too, Soujiro.."

"You love me too much, I swear."

"You're my soulmate.."

My chin trembles and I kiss his cheek lovingly, "You're the love of my life. I'm crazy over you. I'll never leave you. Ever."

He embraces me tighter and so do I with him.

I can still remember the very first time I laid eyes on you, Shinta.

(To be continued)