Jasper laid on the bed, staring at the little bird perched on the window sill, he could feel the hands on his knee, could feel the weird sensation as the stitches were removed, Carlisle said he's healed enough to be able to lose the stitches now.
The idea of being able to walk straight again… he doesn't even remember when was the last time he walked without having to crouch or bend down.
-It's all done now.- Carlisle's voice caught his attention, he turned to look at him, he was disposing of the bandages on the small trashcan he had brought closer to the bed.
-Thanks.- He whispered, for the first time in a long time he felt… good.
His knees felt sore, but he could move his legs freely.
And that… it filled him with such overwhelming feelings, it made his vision blur and his throat burn. Fingers curling into fists as he fought back the damn tears.
-May I check your stomach?- Carlisle asked, Jasper frowned before giving him a short nod, pulling his shirt up.
Meanwhile, Carlisle reached out, taking the bandage around Jasper's torso off before inspecting the wound, this one was taking longer than he had expected, even with all the venom and the blood he's been giving him… he wondered if it had to do with the fact that this wound came from something that went right through him, was lodged there for God knows how long.
And there was also his healing process, it was starting to kick in, but much too slow for it to be noticeable. He checked the stitches, making sure those were still fine.
-Can I check the ones on your back now?
Another short nod, Carlisle stood up for that one, the stitches on his back were less but much like the one on his stomach, he was not healing as fast as he would like.
Even with all the grim Carlisle could see several scars, feel the light bumps as he touched around the wound.
It had taken him quite a while to get used to those, scars of this kind in a vampire never meant good news, but he's never seen this amount, but this was no regular vampire.
This was a seasoned fighter who trained dozens of newborns and fought hundreds of wars.
These scars were nothing but proof of that.
A reminder.
And still, something about how subdued he was made Carlisle at times question the veracity of The Major having lost his humanity, of him being capable of nothing but evil.
Because if one ignored his little episode, which wasn't even his fault, he's done nothing "evil", he gave Carlisle the impression of a lost boy who was way too alone in the world, has suffered way more than anyone should and that was now just hoping for some peace and safety.
It was somewhat amazing though, how despite the horrors he must have gone through in that place, he still had it in him to be kind or even interact with others, at first he had thought it was fear for retaliation, but Carlisle's grown to see that no, he was genuinely just good natured, and maybe too curious to ignore certain things.
He's seen how he responds to Emmett and Renesmee… if he was capable of making those kind of connections there might still be hope for him.
He put a clean gauze and bandage back around his torso, making a point to touch him as little as possible, it's been around two weeks since Jasper's been here, and while he should by now know that Carlisle meant him no harm, that he was just taking care of his wounds, he still flinched and/or grew tense at his touch.
But considering what he's been through Carlisle couldn't exactly blame him, he's dealt with his fair share of patients that didn't like to be touched, either because of trauma or because it was just uncomfortable.
So, he always made sure to ask if it was okay to touch, where would he be touching, and what he would be doing.
It's not like this was his first time dealing with a vampire this jumpy, Rosalie had been similar for quite a while, would glare and hit whoever got within arm reach, be it him or Edward.
She even attacked Edward after a hunt gone wrong, Edward had accidentally bumped into her and she had ripped part of his shoulder off, with her teeth.
If it wasn't for Esme he was quite sure she would have never quite grown to trust other people's touch or people in general, it filled Carlisle with pride at times, to see how far she had come, to see her being capable of relaxing and smiling again.
She was still as sharp as a knife, but that was just Rosalie.
He wondered if it would come a day where Jasper would be the same, though now it was too early for such thoughts, first they had to see if he would even stay or if he would run away.
Personally, Carlisle would like for him to stay, not only because of Alice, but because he wanted to get to know him, he was the son he never got to know.
He had considered him part of the family from the moment Alice told them about him, now that he was actually alive… Carlisle wanted to believe that his identity didn't change that fact.
Even if he never saw them as family, even if he didn't stay, to Carlisle, he would always be his son, and he always took care of his family.
-Can I stand?- Jasper's sudden voice caught his attention, he was giving him a curious look, though there was a hint of hope, almost desperation.
-You want to try standing? You have to know, it might be a bit hard at first, as a vampire, you won't be as limited as a human that hasn't walked in years, but your muscles still need healing, and your body is still not strong enough.- Carlisle explains, Jasper frowns for a moment before giving him a determined look.
-I wanna stand up.- Jasper stated firmly.
-Alright, would you like some help?- Carlisle questioned, offering his hands, he would rather not have him standing up on his own, just in case his knees aren't strong enough to hold his weight just yet.
His hands were regarded with a wary look.
-You should have some support as you stand, just in case it hurts and you want to lessen some of the weight. It's better than falling down on the floor and causing yourself even more pain.- Carlisle felt the need to explain as the silence stretched.
Jasper for his side bit back the urge to refuse the doctor's words, he didn't want to touch him, but the idea of falling didn't appeal to him either, last time he tried to stand and fell down he had hit his knee quite hard on the floor, the pain had been… bad.
He was used to pain, he could take pain with ease, yes, but it still hurt.
But this man… Jasper didn't felt comfortable around him, the coven leader was the worst one in a coven, and while the man has been nothing but kind and patient he could do nothing but not trust him.
Because he might as well be hiding behind a facade.
And still.
He does want to stand up, he needs his legs to heal as quickly as possible, being able to use his legs would give him a huge advantage.
Thus.
He bit his tongue down as he reached out to take the man's hands, on the bright side, at least these people didn't touch him at any given opportunity, and the coven leader asked whenever he wanted to tend to his wounds.
Standing up…
That was easier to do than staying upright, his knees felt uncomfortable and his legs shook against his will, he almost lost balance several times, but Carlisle kept him from going too far or leaning too close for comfort.
-You want to try taking a few steps?- Carlisle question, Jasper was doing better than he had expected, he was a bit wobbly, but that was to be expected, he was also much taller than Carlisle had thought, maybe close to Emmett.
-Can I?- The question comes with such wonder he seriously wonders how could this young man be The Major.
-Of course.- Carlisle says, taking a step back as he did, coaxing Jasper to follow.- You won't fall, I'm right here.- He felt the need to assure at the other's hesitancy.
And Jasper did take a step forward.
Trembling all the way, but he took the step, it filled Carlisle with pride, and relief, because part of him had worried that the starvation and then the terrible posture he was kept in for God knows how long might have been too much, even for a vampire.
He still couldn't for the life of him understand how could someone be so vile towards another living being, and it got worse when he remembered what Rosalie had said.
It was María.
She put him there as punishment.
Carlisle couldn't understand how could she do something like that, she had created him, even if for her own needs of soldiers, she had created him, she had been meant to be his guide in this life, to protect him and teach him.
Not to torture him until he couldn't even remember his own name.
It was such a heartbreaking thing to think about, he had been 19, had a whole life ahead of him if he managed to survive the war, and she had stolen that from him, all to turn him into a weapon, a weapon she didn't even keep but decided to throw away, abandon him and torture him.
It angered Carlisle, he was a man who found violence repulsive, something that needed to be avoided until it was clear it was the remaining choice.
But he would tear apart anyone who dared to touch his family.
His wife and his children were something he treasured dearly, he saved them, gave them another chance at life, and he wanted them to be happy and safe, that's all he cared about.
When he met Alice, learning about the loneliness and confusion she had lived through, for her to wake up not knowing who she was and having no idea what she even was… for s long time he had resented whoever had created her, he had found it cruel, all vampires, no matter how vile, would never abandon a newborn of their doing just like that.
They would at most stay with them through their whole newborn year.
Mostly to avoid the Volturi from hunting them down.
But then Alice had told them what James left behind, as it turns out, her creator hadn't abandoned her, he died protecting her.
Point was, he couldn't understand what would lead María to do something like this to someone he could have sworn she might have treasured a lot. The Major had been her right hand, her second in command, he had helped her seize lots of territories and train newborns.
So why did she choose to do this?
-You're angry.- Jasper's sudden whisper caught his attention, he wasn't looking at him but at the floor, and he had stopped moving.
Right.
Empath.
He still couldn't wrap his head around that either.
-Not at you.- He clarified, fully aware that that's what he would definitely think. At times, the best way to deal with Jasper was to use the same methods he would use at the hospital with patients that were victims of abuse, be it children, teenagers or adults.
Plus, when he first turned Edward he had read a lot of books about teenagers, and then when he turned Rosalie, and then Emmett.
He's memorized thousands of books regarding teenagers and the effects trauma could have on them.
It made it easier to handle their emotional outbursts and whatnot.
-Jasper?
-Yes, sir?
-I know everything might seem strange to you, and I know you are not quite comfortable here, but I want you to know that no one here means you any harm, whether they are angry or not, be it at you or someone else, you will never be hurt, I don't condone violence of any kind in this house.
Silence is what met Carlisle.
But it was alright, he didn't need any kind of answer, he just wanted to be sure Jasper knew that, even if something told him he wouldn't exactly believe him, who knows, maybe if he hears it enough times he might grow to believe it.
For the time being all Carlisle could do was help him get better.
~
"You are such a splendid specimen, one of a kind indeed, such a shame you are so stubborn."- A man with dark hair and red robes is speaking, his face is like cracked glass, nothing but his eyes being noticeable.
"We should just kill him. What's the point of keeping him alive if he won't join us?"- A blond man says, he's also wearing red robes, but much like the other one, his face is cracked glass.
"Patience, my friend, I have a good feeling about this one. We must not be impulsive. Someone with his skills and mind only comes once in a lifetime. We must exhaust every possibility."
Fog cracks.
The dark haired man is back, his shoulder burns, and his neck hurts, it's bent at an odd angle, a fistful of his hair forcing him to keep his head still, red eyes burn into his own; disappointment, annoyance, desire, hope, glee, joy.
"Hello dear Major, it's been quite a while since we last saw each other. Hope the friends I have sent you kept you entertained."- The man says, his voice dripping with an acidic undertone.
"What's the point of keeping him here at all if you can't control him? You said you were going to kill him if Chelsea's influence didn't work on him. That that was our last hope. What are we waiting for then?"- The blond man questions. Even past the stained and cracked glass he can see it.
The dark haired man is smiling.
"Because, my dear friend, I have recently come to the revelation that this… young man, will be the key to get to my dear clairvoyant.
"How is he gonna do that when he tries to rip apart anything within reach?"
"Not her, when I saw her memories, I went further, and I saw our dear friend here, and what he means to her… Oh, curious are we?"- The man's grip on his hair tightens. He glares at him.- I met today quite the interesting little vampire, and for what I could see of her, I believe you might call her… your mate."
Another wall of glass cracks.
The blond man is staring at him boredly through stained glass.
"You said we needed him, but when are you exactly planning on using him to get to the clairvoyant?"
"Soon."
"Even if that's true, what makes you believe he won't just attack her and kill her? A mate is nothing but weakness. Why would The Major stand so low? How will you even get him to do anything when he doesn't listen?"
"We don't need to do anything, we just need to wait. Take Oliver with you, we won't need him anymore. The Major might not be attainable, but dear Alice is, and she will definitely find him. Felix, will you do the honors?"
A huge man in red robes appears, fingers grip his neck.
And the world shatters before bursting like an explosion of multicolored glass that scatters like a thousand shards.
~
Jasper jerks awake with a brain splitting headache that just gets even worse when he sits up, the ghost feeling of needles around his neck is unforgiving, like an acid string is chocking him, and there's a foreign kind of fire in his chest, it's almost overwhelming, and for a moment.
He wants to rip someone apart, he doesn't know who, but he wants to tear them apart, limb, by, limb. To hear their screams and make them beg for something sweeter than pain.
He wants to shred them to pieces, slice their skin open and crush their bones between his fingers.
It's such a foreign yet familiar feeling, it seeps into his very bones, making the heat grow and grow until he's seeing red, it's-
-Jasper?- Alice's sudden voice feels like a knife that slices through the growing fog in his head, and for a moment, he can't quite remember what had he been doing.
There's concern in her emotions, she looks concerned, he can also feel wariness in the air, heavier than usual, why?
It feels like he's done something wrong, but he can't be quite sure of what.
-You're bleeding.- Her words confuse him before he realizes something, the strong reek of his own blood alongside something running down his chin. He touches his face, just for his fingers to come back bloodied.
Alice goes into the bathroom before coming back out with some tissue, she comes to sit on the bed with him, wiping the blood off, her fingers nothing but a light touch on his jaw as she holds his face in place.
Meanwhile, Alice took it to wipe the blood off Jasper's face, she wasn't sure what had made him get a nosebleed out of nowhere, but something told her it had to do with his gift flooding the house in nothing but murder intent.
She's never felt something like it, it had made her hairs stand on end, the overwhelming urge to run and hide had almost overtaken her.
This before Edward had said it was Jasper's doing, something about him wanting to kill someone. Who? She had no idea, but if it could get such reaction out of him then the person could be no good.
-Did you miss the part where he was thinking about literally torturing someone?- Edward's voice came from downstairs.
"Maybe he was thinking about getting revenge on the bastards who hurt him."- Alice refuted through her thoughts, she smirked when Edward didn't answer.
She tilted Jasper's head up so she could check if there was no more blood. When she was sure he was clean she went back to the bathroom to dispose of the tissue and wash her hands, this before coming back to the bedroom.
He was still sitting on the bed, now giving her a funny look, or more like he was staring at her clothes, crudely reminding her what she was wearing.
She bit back the pin prick of embarrassment, vampires didn't sleep, but she liked wearing PJ's at night, some of which were a bit… not quite something people would expect her to wear.
Like coffee themed PJ's.
But what could she do? Coffee never failed to remind her of Jasper, of that diner in Philadelphia and the first time they met.
Just that this time she had him right infront of her, she still had a hard time believing this was real, that he was here, alive.
She came over to him, sitting on the bed and reaching out to touch his hand, he's grown to let her touch his hand since the vervain thing.
-You alright?- She asked softly, stroking the back of his hand with her thumb.
-... My head hurts, and my neck feels funny.- He mutters, looking down at their hands clasped together.
-Funny how?- Alice asks, she couldn't see anything wrong with his neck, though to be honest, with all that grim she could barely see anything.
-I don't know, just funny…- Alice frowns, reaching out for his neck before stopping midway.
-May I?- She requested softly, he gave her a suspicious look that didn't last nothing but a few seconds before he was turning his head away, exposing his neck for her.
Alice reached out, touching his neck and feeling around, she could feel the small bumps from bite scars, but she couldn't feel-
Her thoughts came to an abrupt halt when she felt something at the back of his neck.
A line.
She traced it with her index finger, just to find with growing confusion that it went all around his neck, in a circle.
What kind of-
-Oh shit.
Edward's unexpected and unusual curse was enough to make Alice get hit with realization.
A thin line-scar that went all around his neck, in a circle.
No.
This couldn't be happening, no, there had to be a mistake, he wasn't- he wasn't-
She couldn't help but rub at the scar, wiping the grim away, because this had to be some kind of mistake, this wasn't happening, it didn't happen, not to him God.
But it didn't matter the amount of grim she wiped from it it was still there, the scar.
And Alice's never felt as lost and desperated as she was doing now.
Because of all possible scars in the world, this was the one she would have given anything for him to never get.
But he had it.
All the signs had been there, all the questions had been there, and now the answer was here. In this scar.
The unmistakable scar left behind by the one injury no vampire could ever come out unscathed from, not completely .
Decapitation .
~
Vampires couldn't be harmed through conventional methods.
Fire could harm them, even kill them, this because of how flammable their venom was.
Other vampires' bites could burn them like acid might burn humans.
And vervain caused a similar effect on vampires as food poisoning did on humans.
And there was also mutilation, but even if a vampire was mutilated, as long as the limb was found, it could be reattached back.
Even the head.
The issue with the head was that those vampires who lost their head, even if this was to be reattached, the vampire would never be the same again, their minds shattered and their memories were for the most part lost.
Most survivors either went insane or chose suicide due not being able to handle the weight of a blank mind.
But this…
Carlisle's never seen anything like this, Jasper was staring at him with a quizzical look, at least he wasn't hyperventilating anymore, Alice had left earlier, apparently, this had been way too much, she had left because she hadn't wanted to overwhelm Jasper, that's what Edward had said.
But her leaving alongside the emotions she must have been displaying had made Jasper completely lose it, he had started apologizing and hyperventilating.
It had taken Carlisle quite a while to calm him down and convince him he hadn't done anything wrong.
Now…
This scar around his neck, Carlisle had managed to get Jasper to agree to let him clean his neck, just to see the extent of the damage, the coloration, the texture, even the size… it made his dead heart drop.
Because this injury wasn't even a year old, but months at most.
Months.
And Carlisle had no idea what to do with that.
Because that could just mean one thing, whoever had done this had wanted him to not remember a thing despite him being imprisoned there long enough to start crystallizing, why break his mind now?
Something wasn't making sense here.
But at least Carlisle now knew what was wrong with him, the reason for his lack of knowledge, his forgetfulness, his difficulty for reading and/or for speaking.
His mind was broken.
And he wondered if that meant he would never get his memories back, but again, this situation was one of a kind, Jasper didn't seem to be going insane nor did he have suicidal tendencies.
There might be a chance to help fix his mind, he wasn't sure of the how, but he had to hope there was some way.
There had to be some way.
~
-They did it for Alice.- Edward's sudden words as Carlisle made his apparition made him frown, Edward had been awfully quiet, had looked like he would be sick earlier, and now…
-What do you mean they did it for Alice? Who did what?
-I think he was dreaming, of memories, they were glitched and I couldn't really see their faces well, but their clothes…- Edward clenched his jaw, he still felt nauseous over what he had seen.
Nauseous over what he had heard.
And God, he never thought he would feel sympathy for a man that killed dozens of innocents.
-It was the Volturi.
Edward's words still the atmosphere.
-What?
-The Volturi were the ones who decapitated him, for what I could see, they went to see him several times. Aro was mad because he didn't want to join the Volturi, he was the one who seemingly sent many of the vampires who tortured him, he was angry at him, but he didn't want to kill him just yet, he said…
God, Edward couldn't bear to speak that out loud, while he knew Alice was far away from the house, enough that he couldn't hear her, the sole idea of her finding out about this made him twice as nauseous, she should never have to know this.
That the Volturi broke Jasper's mind to get to her, he was nothing but a tool, a means to an end.
It would destroy Alice to know about this.
But he needed to make them aware of what they might be dealing with.
-Aro saw Jasper in Alice's mind when she first let him read her memories in Italy.- And Edward's never felt guiltier, because if he had called a second time, if he had confirmed who was the funeral for…
Alice would have never exposed her gift to the Volturi, she wouldn't have let Aro into her mind.
-Aro thought he would be a good method to get to Alice. So he had Felix break his mind, he said something about an Oliver and not needing him anymore, maybe whoever that was had to do with why Alice had stopped seeing Jasper.
Edward's words made more than one stomach twist. The realization of how messed up the situation was…
God, it was general knowledge that the Volturi weren't much good, but to reach this level of cruelty…
-How is that even suppose to help them get to her? You said so yourself, he refused to join them, why is him with a broken mind suppose to help them get to Alice? It doesn't make any sense.- Emmett said, what the hell were the Volturi playing at?
Emmett wanted to snap those guys' neck, it would destroy Alice to know she was the reason Jasper was the way he was, his mind got destroyed because the Volturi wanted to get to her, regardless of the methods used for it.
Who the hell could have such a fucked up mind to think that was right? But of course the Volturi would see it as a golden chance, to have the mate of a vampire they wished to get their hands onto.
-I don't know, maybe they think he will get his memories back and kill everyone but Alice, she has history with him, and vampires can't exactly attack their mates anyways, not even him. Or maybe they think we will let our guard down because we will be too focused on him. Either way, they said he was the key to get to Alice.
-Well, they have another thing coming, because like hell they are going anywhere near her.- Rosalie snaps, the idea that the Volturi had shattered Jasper's mind like some sort of collateral damage just because they wanted to get their hands on someone who already had a family and didn't want anything to do with them…
It made her seethe.
Who the hell did they thought they were? Rosalie couldn't imagine how Alice would take this information. If it were her, she didn't think she would be able to live with herself if she were to know Emmett's mind was destroyed just to get to her.
For him to lose his memories and stable mind, for it all to be nothing but collateral damage, a means to an end...
And it would be much worse for Alice, she just knew it, Alice knew firsthand what it meant to not have memories, to be nothing but a blank slate because of other people's fucked up choices.
For her mate to end up as a blank slate because people wanted to get to her.
That would be a most terrible hit.
And Rosalie worried what she might do if she found out.
~
Alice sat under a tree, curled into herself and fingernails digging into her forearms, vision blurred as venomous tears streamed down her face.
Decapitated.
Jasper was decapitated.
And she had no idea what to do with herself, because how could she let that happen to him? She was suppose to protect him. If she had looked better for him instead of assuming he was dead none of this would be happening.
If she had looked for him he wouldn't have been tortured, he wouldn't have-
He wouldn't have ended up forgetting everything about himself.
But not even that could compare to the utter despair and agony she's been feeling since she heard them through her visions.
Talking about how she was practically the reason Jasper was like this in the first place.
It felt like her chest would collapse, she could no longer tell which fire was anger and which one was pain.
Because Jasper's mind was destroyed because of her.
She was the one to blame he was like that, she had hurt him in a way no one had ever done.
She was supposed to keep him safe.
But it was her the one who put him in the worst danger possible.
How could she be any good, when she was the reason the one she loved most couldn't even read a book right?
She had ruined him, she should have never let her memories of him so exposed for Aro to find.
She should have been more careful.
But she wasn't.
And Jasper had paid the price.
The sudden sound of footsteps caught her attention, and she turned to see Edward emerging from among the trees, she glared at him.
-I haven't come here to argue, I promise.- He's quick to speak up, raising his hands in peace.
Alice ignored him and went back to hiding her face between her knees.
Edward came over to sit with her on the ground.
Silence reigned between them.
-I know I haven't been the best brother lately, and I'm sorry for that.- Edward found himself saying, Rosalie and Bella had practically kicked him out of the house to come and find Alice, if there was anyone she would listen to right now, it was him.
That just because he didn't like Jasper it didn't meant he got to be a jerk about it, that whether they liked it or not Jasper was there to stay, it would be easier to just get over it and move on.
And he still didn't like it, because Alice deserved better, but as Bella had said, Alice already had history with him, way before she met any of them, he couldn't just erase that nor ask her to forget about it.
To try to put himself in her shoes.
Coming looking for her…
He hadn't been quite prepared to hear the kind of thoughts she was having, nor to see her like this.
Because she looks so devastated.
And Edward wants nothing more but to wrap his arms around her and chase all her pain away.
-His memories weren't repressed. He lost his memories. His memories. - Alice said, voice breaking at the end, Edward understood how that would affect her so much, for Alice, that of losing memories and having a blank mind hit too close to home.
She had woken up as a vampire to a blank mind and zero knowledge about the world.
For her mate to end up like that because of something she felt was her fault… it had to be horrible.
-Carlisle believes his memories can be retrieved. The way he reacts to you, we both know that's not the normal behavior for someone that's gone through what he might have gone through, but he seems to gravitate towards you, he trusts you. His mind might not remember you, but his heart still does.
Edward's words filled Alice with newfound hope.
And she turned to look at him.
-Thank you.- She said, throwing her arms around him, Edward didn't hesitate to reciprocate the hug, smiling to himself.
Well, at least she wasn't crying anymore.
~
Rosalie was leaning against the doorframe, staring at the sleeping figure of their latest acquisition.
-The Volturi will come for him. You do know that, right? For them all…- Rosalie said, throwing Carlisle a look, he was sitting at the end of the bed, had been so since Jasper fell asleep earlier.
She still didn't know how to feel about the fact that the Volturi, somehow, were using him as leverage to get to Alice, or viceverse.
The idea of the Volturi turning up here to take her siblings, Renesmee , all the while none of them might even stand a chance against them…
It made her feel claustrophobic.
But she would have to be dead before she let Aro come anywhere near Renesmee or any of the other freaky powered members of her family, she might not be a fan of gifts, and she might refer to them as freaks.
But at the end of the day they were her freaks, her siblings, and God forbid anyone dared to hurt them.
Rosalie would burn the world down for her family.
And she guessed, that now the creepy empath also fell on that category, she wasn't exactly sure of the when, but she's grown to somewhat like him, playing cards, Scrabble and chess with him was interesting.
Plus.
He didn't cheat like Edward and Alice did.
-I won't let Aro take them, none of them.- Carlisle said firmly, he wouldn't let Aro take Alice, nor Jasper, nor anyone from his family for that matter.
If it came to a fight then so be it, but he refused to have his children and granddaughter be taken and turned into nothing but weapons.
They belonged here.
And Jasper's gone through enough hell as it was, he didn't deserve all the horrors life has thrown at him.
At this point Carlisle could care less about who had he been or what he was, all he wanted was for him to get better, to be free and just happy.
That's all he cared about.
~
Alice's fingers traced the scars across Jasper's jaw.
She had come back a few minutes ago, just to find he had gone back to sleep.
And she can't help but wonder why.
Why would they put him through such horrors? With what purpose? Had Aro known who he was from the moment he got his hands on him? How did they even found him in Kansas? It didn't make sense.
And the reminder that he was decapitated did nothing but burn like a river of fire beneath her skin, pooling into her chest until she wanted nothing more but to hunt down the Volturi and tear them limb by limb, turn them all into shreds, slice their skin open and lit their venom on fire so they would burn from the inside out, but not even that would be enough to satisfy her rage.
They had destroyed Jasper.
Jasper had treasured his mind, a lot, he was someone who needed to be aware of every single detail around him, how many people were around, how many could he trust, what were their strong points, what were their weak points, what were the best escape routes, he would come up with over a hundred different ways to escape an scenario successfully.
He was also extremely smart and awfully proud of his talent to come up with thousands of strategies.
All of that was gone now.
And while she would never allow him to be harmed or let him be around people that might mean him ill it put her whole being in a new kind of edge the sole idea of him completely losing something so defining of his character.
Something that had brought him comfort.
With suppressed memories she had at least thought he would still somewhat keep some of those instincts.
He didn't.
And now she could understand his fear and skittish behavior.
His memories were gone, not supressed, not jumbled, gone.
And she wanted nothing more but to kill the Volturi, to take Jasper away and hide him from the rest of the world.
She had left the Cullens when the Volturi were coming so as to look for her own evidence.
Yes.
But she had also left to protect them, knowing that if she didn't, Aro wouldn't have hesitated to strike regardless of the amount of witnesses the Cullens had.
It never occurred to her that Jasper would be another route the Volturi would use to get to her, even if she had thought him dead, she shouldn't have let Aro know about him.
The sudden presence behind her made her thoughts come to an abrupt halt.
Carlisle.
-Is he gonna be alright?- She asks, her voice comes out like a broken whisper, because she fears that if she speaks any louder, she will break down.
-Physically, he's perfectly fine, but his mind… every memory, even if just a glimpse, seems to be enough to put him in pain, the longer they are the more strain he's put in… his brain… it can't handle the memories.
Carlisle hated having to tell Alice this, much less when she looked like she was tethering over the edge of breaking down, the way she stared at him alone made Carlisle wish he could take them all aways and hide them.
But he knew that running wouldn't work, the Volturi would always find them, always.
Still.
Back to the point at hand, Jasper's brain… he had been subjected to blood loss, starvation, and something about how even after two months his wound refused to heal was starting to lead him to believe there might be more he wasn't aware of.
Point was, Jasper's gone through things no regular black blood could have ever survived for as long as he did, Carlisle believed that the only reason he survived at all was because of the lifestyle he led as The Major.
That kind of environment had made him adapt to the worst of the worst.
With that decapitation, depending on how long it took for his head to be reattached…It was a miracle in itself that he was alive let alone able to rationalize and retain information.
Because he should be insane, brain dead, or something equally hopeless.
But he wasn't.
He was smart, a quick learner, had an excellent talent to memorize things even if he did mess the pronunciations at times or forgot the actual names, could be a bit naive due his curious nature too, but God was he a cunning one.
Too cunning at times.
He had an amazing talent to make others do whatever he wanted, see things however he wanted, a subtle manipulation not even he seemed aware of, charming Esme had called him.
It amazed Carlisle, and he couldn't help but wonder how would he be like were his mind right. Definitely a force to be reckoned.
-So he might never remember a thing? At all?- Alice's voice broke Carlisle's heart,
-I don't know, his situation… it's unprecedented, he didn't went insane nor does he have suicidal tendencies, he's one in a million…
-But?- Alice questioned, clearly hearing the deafening 'but' at the end of Carlisle's words.
-But it might also be psychological, maybe that's why his body reacts the way it does to the memories, he went through an extremely traumatic situation, we don't know the extent of what the Volturi might have subjected him to, maybe he's afraid of remembering, the pain might be the body's way of protecting itself from possibly traumatic memories.- Came Carlisle's sad voice.
Alice gave nothing but a short nod.
And still…
She wanted to scream at the world, to cry, to apologize, but not even that would ever be able to get rid of that overwhelming feeling of having failed him.
Because Jasper's mind was broken.
He might never be the same again, might never be able to play fight, to play the guitar, dance, or even run, he had loved doing those things, and now…
Now he was a blank slate.
All because those stupid overglorified jerks had wanted to use him to get to her.
Well.
She had news for them.
She might not be able to take them, but Peter and Charlotte knew lots of other Southern vampires who had managed to escape from the wars when they were still raging on, some of which had taken The Major's rebellion as an incentive to do the same.
Jasper had even gone back for several of the newborns under María's hand, the younger ones he knew didn't stand a chance at surviving, either because their skills weren't enough or just because their lack of interest in fighting was too problematic.
And Alice knew that those particular newborns wouldn't hesitate to stand with Jasper if needed.
Because against popular belief, Jasper was never as cruel and heartless as people made him out to be, he was brutal when he trained them.
Yes.
But he never hurt them outside of training, a kid had taught him card tricks, and he would play the guitar sometimes, embed the melodies with his gift to give the newborns a particularly peaceful atmosphere.
Because as Jasper had told her once, what's the point of making people who are on the same boat as you miserable? At the end, everyone loses.
Point was, if it came to it, the Volturi might end up biting more than any of them could chew.
Alice would make sure Aro learnt what it meant to touch what was hers.