Two months.
That's how long it's been since Jasper's been here, with the Cullens.
He can walk up straight now, but he still gets sore easily, and his elbows do hurt when he stretches them out completely, his back still feels sore when he sits straight for too long.
Carlisle said it was a huge improvement as it was, that his muscles still needed time to heal, to be patient, his eyes are still black, but his sclera has at least cleared completely.
Alice…
She's been acting weird since she saw that scar on his neck, she didn't avoid him, but she would get so sad whenever she saw him…
He hated it.
He couldn't explain the why, but her sadness didn't settle well with him.
Much less when he was the apparent cause of it.
He didn't want her to be sad, he didn't want to make her sad, but he had no idea what was making her sad.
Still.
She's also grown to seek him out much more than before.
As in, ever since he became capable of walking Alice's been taking him for walks every single day without fault, which meant she would hold his hand all the way, something he's grown to like quite a bit, her hands were always so gentle, like nothing he's ever come across.
Sometimes, she would take him to a flower field, and she would braid flowers in his hair, or just put flower crowns on top of his head, he let's her do it because he likes the warm feeling her smiles give him, the fluttering butterflies that tickle his skin whenever she plays with his hair and how her eyes seem to sparkle particularly brighter than usual.
It's a bit frightening at times, how much he craves her touch, how much he feels for her, but he can't help it, something about her… it makes him feel safe, like he can trust her, it terrifies him, but he also likes it.
Because it makes him feel less alone, like that hollow pit in his chest is being patched up somewhat.
He also likes when she takes him to the river, picking up pebbles, she taught him how to skip rocks, it's an interesting game, and she also taught him how to make flower crowns, and several names from different fish and flowers.
There's also her voice, he loves hearing her sing, it makes him feel lighter, it makes the whispers and the sea of darkness that sometimes threatens to snatch him disappear.
He wants to be with her for as long as possible, he wants to listen to her voice, feel her hand into his own, he wants to store her beautiful light in the front of his mind.
So when he leaves, he can still be warm under her light.
He's taken it to wander around the house too, now feeling less like he would be killed or locked up if he did so. He's gotten to see the others, there's Edward; the mind reader, he doesn't like Jasper, he can tell.
It's alright, Jasper doesn't like him either.
He looks at him as if he's expecting him to explode or something.
There's also the wolf; Jacob, Alice had said he was a shapeshifter, could turn into a huge wolf, such a strange thing.
He didn't like Jasper either, much less when he was around Bella or Renesmee.
But that's alright too, Jasper doesn't like him much either, his scent makes him uncomfortable, like he should run.
There's Bella too, she's Renesmee's mother and Edward's mate. She's nice, she taught him how to play chess, he likes chess, he isn't quite sure of the reason, but it's easy to play, and he wins most of the time, something about the base of the game feels…
Familiar.
But he can't quite pin point the reason.
He still avoids Esme though, she makes him feel uneasy, despite what the coven leader said he can't help but feel like he should seriously not approach her.
She seems nice though, and her emotions while sad when it comes to him are also filled with something akind to… something , he's never felt it before, but it's nice and warm.
Alice… well, he likes Alice, a lot, she smells great and her emotions make him feel fuzzy.
Plus, she's also gotten the habit to sit with him throughout the night whenever he was plagued with bad dreams, he likes feeling her fingers carding through his hair and listening to her voice, she will hum for him sometimes, he liked her voice a lot.
Still.
It's this habit of her what made him realize something, he should take a shower, because while she doesn't mention it he's heard Emmett and Jacob tease her about the bad reek she picks up from him.
He's spent enough time reading their actions and emotions these past months to know it's not meant to be taken as a mean on their side, but the action alone of them teasing her makes an uncomfortable feeling sit at the pit of his stomach.
He doesn't like it.
Thus.
He decided to take a shower, it took him to get around it, he didn't want to do it with too many people in the house, he waited for the mind reader to leave, the wolf, the scary blonde, the coven leader…
The idea of taking a shower when there were way too many people around put him on edge.
And when he had the coast clear he took a shower, struggling to remember what Alice had said before about all the bottles in there.
It was a nightmare in itself to shower though, mostly because showering made him nauseous, he wasn't quite sure of the reason, because he liked to stand under the rain, but this…
He didn't knew why, but he felt nauseous, anxious, like he really shouldn't be doing this.
He finishes the shower quickly, not wanting to spend any more time than necessary in there, he turns the water off before stepping out, he ties a towel around his waist, and he was still feeling nauseous.
It's not until he walks past the mirror that something catches his attention.
A mark.
Right on his bicep.
A 'V'.
But there's something about that letter alongside the how it looks that makes his stomach clench and his throat close.
"A little gift, my dear friend, to help you reconsider our offer."
Fire bursts into his bicep, like shrapnel lodging into his flesh as the acid seeps in, the putrid stench of burnt skin and rotten blood fills the air, making his nose itch, his throat is tight as he fights to keep any sounds in.
Jasper flinches and takes a step back at the voice that overlaps the usual whispers.
He tears his gaze away from the mirror, stalking out of the bathroom, but not even that can get rid of the growing pin pricks stabbing through his arms and up to his head, a pit opening in his stomach as his lungs constrict.
Who the hell had been that? What had been that? He touches the mark, it felt like a scar, but much more thick than the ones from bites.
A shot of pain slices right through the back of his neck and up his skull, it's so unexpected he stumbles back, grabbing onto the wall, breath catching in his throat.
"My dear Major, do you know how easy would it be to just agree? You can do and have whatever you want with me."
The dark haired man is back, still with a cracked face.
"What makes you believe that's what I want?"- His own voice is like an echo made out of nothing but ice, an ice that slices right through the air.
Jasper clutches his head as his brain flips, images slicing like knives across his entire skull, making him bite down on his tongue and a sound stick at the back of his throat as he slides down the wall.
"If you want a damn dog you've come to the wrong place, 'm done doing what other people want me to."
He curls into himself, biting back a pained moan as his fingers dug against his skull. He can hear people talking somewhere above, but he can't focus. Someone touches him, but he can't barely focus let alone move.
Much less when another hammer slams across the top of his skull, he bites his bottom lip to keep the cries in, he can taste that putrid blood in his mouth, smell it.
His side is burning, and he can feel the pool of blood growing rapidly beneath him, he can't breathe, each breath he takes just makes him cough up blood, blood, he's choking on blood, his own blood.
He can hear a heartbeat, rapid, and a most bitter reek somewhere close by. Close by.
Footsteps are approaching, he can't move, it feels like his limbs have become nothing but stone, anchoring him to the ground.
Red cloaks flap in the wind as a silhouette comes to stand above him, red eyes, blonde hair.
"Must admit I didn't think you still had it in you to try to run after last time."- A blonde girl is talking.-"Felix, would you?"
A huge man comes into frame, grabbing his arms before starting to drag him away, black blood trailing behind them, the blonde woman stands there, watching.
And at her side stands a man, red hair and glowing eyes, black blood staining his face, clothes and hands. The girl punches it straight on the stomach, prompting this one to collapse on the ground with a pained sound.
"This be the last time you tear out chunks of anyone you have been ordered to guard, if you kill him, you will be next. Stupid dog."
Jasper's brain is being torn apart, he can't move, can't breathe, someone is talking but it filters right past the raw threads of all that is fire.
"This wouldn't be necessary haven't you tried to run. You can only blame yourself for this."- A blond man says, a grin splitting across his face.
Fire explodes right through his back and chest, he chokes on blood as a scream catches at the back of his throat.
Fingers dig even harder into his skull as he curls into himself, eyes squeezed shut.
And it feels like his brain will explode into his skull, what was this?
Then the world snaps back alongside a piercing ring that slices through his eardrums, making a sound stick at the back of his throat.
And for a moment that's all he can feel and see, a massive blur.
His forehead rests on something soft as spasms wreck through his whole body, nausea twisting around his stomach with vengeance, he's never craved death as much as he was doing now.
Because what was this?
It takes what feels like an eternal nightmare without end before it all starts to die down, before he can remember who he even was.
And as he does he comes to the realization that there's fingers carding through his hair, the motion is soothing and oddly familiar, it makes some of the pulsating headache subside.
Warmth draps over him like a gentle blanket, making the fire subside even more.
And for a moment, a little part of him feels at complete ease with this.
Like for the first time in a long time things are finally right.
-Are you alright?- Alice's voice is soft as she speaks, so soft… her fingers carding through his hair.
He's isn't sure what leads him to do it, but next thing he knows he's burying his nose into the crook of her neck, taking in a deep breath, her scent fills his chest with all kinds of feelings.
She smells like lavender, flowers, fresh air, sunlight, like the first days of spring-
"When flowers are starting to bloom and animals are starting to wake."
That thought finds him, and he doesn't know where did it come from, but it fits her.
-You smell like bloomin' flowers in spring.- The words are out before he can stop them, the fingers stop moving through his hair, a jolt in her emotions, it's not anger nor is it negative.
But he can't quite understand what is it either.
Meanwhile, Alice is frozen in place.
"You smell like bloomin' flowers in spring."- Her vision blurs at the echo of those words, her chest burns, her throat, and this time she couldn't keep herself from reaching out, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him into a hug, he tensed for a moment before relaxing into her hold.
Finding Jasper all curled up on the floor and practically hiding near the desk wasn't what she had expected when she came to see what was wrong, but she had recognized what was happening, the smell of blood and him clutching his head left it clear, he's been getting these more frequently.
Snippets of memories .
Edward called them, most of the time related to the Volturi.
That was still a thought that made her insides burn, the one thing keeping her from barging into Volterra being the fact that she knew she wouldn't be able to take them, and also because that's probably what Aro wanted.
She refused to give that bastard what he wanted.
Still.
Back to the point at hand, hearing him speaking such a phrase out loud… his face against her neck…
Jasper had liked doing that, claiming that he liked how she smelt or how he just liked that spot.
But he had no memories, how could he possibly say such words? Was Carlisle right after all? Could he regain his memories? Or was it just a reflex? She's avoided telling him the truth about their relationship because she fears he might not be able to take it.
And also because part of her is terrified of his reaction. Of the potential anger, the rejection, the hatred…
Because he trusted her and she failed him.
She knew it wasn't right to hide the truth, that she should tell him, that she shouldn't take advantage of his lack of memories and act like she wasn't the reason he was like this in the first place.
But she wanted to wait, wait until he was stronger, if he decided to leave, to hate her, he at least would be strong enough to survive on his own.
She wasn't sure for how long did they sat there, but at some point she felt him start to relax, he was falling asleep.
-Jazz?- A hum was her answer, it killed her to tell him this, the idea alone of having to break the contact with him, but she couldn't let him fall asleep on the floor, much less when he was wearing nothing but a towel, and alright, there was nothing she hadn't seen from him, but he didn't knew that, and she had a feeling he wouldn't be as comfortable as he was now once he was better.- You should get dressed, sleeping like this isn't good for your back.
Her answer was him rubbing his face against her neck, pulling her closer, too close. She sighed, choosing to just let him be.
She felt him fall asleep at some point, body growing completely lax, she threw a look at the door, it was slightly ajar, as always, she focused on the people of the house.
Bella was in the living room, still arguing with Jacob over the phone to not dare get Renesmee a rabbit, that no matter how responsible she promised to be a pet would not have a long life in a house full of vampires.
The poor animal would die of stress.
And Esme was in the kitchen making cinnamon cookies.
Thus.
With the stealth of someone dealing with a ticking bomb, she got Jasper to the bed, he might be twice her height, but she still had the strength of vampires.
She was quick to grab a button up shirt from the closet before wrestling him into it, as she did, she caught sight of something that made her freeze on the spot.
A brand.
Right on his bicep.
A brand.
Those bastards had branded him, branded him! As if he were some fucking item or animal you could put claim on, it made red flash in her vision, jaw clenching as a burst of fire seized the pit of her stomach, her fingers curlinh into fists.
God, if she ever had Aro within reach again she was gonna tear his jaw off, what the hell was wrong with that guy? Why the need to think any vampire he deemed useful had to belong to him? They were people, they weren't fucking collectionable toys.
Still.
Calm, she needed to keep calm, the last thing she needs is Jasper waking up because she's feeling hostile and bloodlust.
She finished putting the shirt on him, she was quick and careful as she did, and once she was done she pulled the blanket up to his waist, she could dress him, because again, there wasn't anything she isn't seen from him, but she didn't think he would like the idea of it.
Thus.
She stepped back to admire her work.
Clean and with fresh clothes he almost looked like her old Jasper, like nothing was wrong, like he was perfectly fine.
She came back over to him, sitting at the edge of the bed, she traced the fingernails' scars on his face, and not for the first time she wonders what he must have gone through, Carlisle had said that scar on his neck wasn't even five months old, which meant he had been aware of what was happening and what she had done, for years.
Before Aro went and finished it.
She wondered who had grabbed him from the cabin, had it been María? Their past relationship might have led him to let his guard down and not see her as an actual threat. Or had it been the Volturi? The Major had been on the Volturi's list for a long time before he disappeared.
But how did they find him?
Had he seen them coming? Had he even had a chance to fight or had he been sleeping when he got cornered? Did he resent her? Hate her? Was he disappointed that she had failed him? Lied? What?
She hadn't meant for this to happen, she would have never left him alone had she known what would happen. Even now she had a hard time leaving him alone to go hunting, and if she had to she would kick Jacob out of the house and take Renesmee with her so she wouldn't have anyone shielding Jasper from her visions, would keep an eye on Jasper through her gift until she came back.
Just to be sure nothing would happen to him regardless of the fact that she trusted the Cullens with him.
But she couldn't be at ease when he wasn't anywhere where she could see him nor even hear his heartbeat.
It made her feel claustrophobic, like she couldn't breathe, like she was gonna explode if she didn't had him within her reach or on sight. She had almost collapsed due a panic attack when she had failed to see him that day Jasper attacked Edward and Jacob.
It had felt like 1949 all over again.
Carlisle said it might be separation issues, or a form of PTSD because of what had happened before.
He shifted in his sleep, and she couldn't help but lean down, pressing a soft kiss on his forehead, she lingered there for a moment, biting back the tears as she closed her eyes.
It's been two months, she shouldn't feel so affected, she should be used to it by now, but how can she get used to the fact that the man she loves doesn't recognize her? She can't hug him, kiss him, nor even touch him.
Because if she so much as touches him without warning he flinches and looks at her as if he's expecting her to hurt him, as if she has ulterior motives.
She hates the fear in his eyes, she would take the hatred if it meant she didn't got to see him like this.
But she's too much of a coward to tell him the truth.
Because she knows, that at the end, there's no one to blame for his current condition than herself.
She did this.
~
-Are you sure this is alright? It doesn't feel like it's alright.- Jasper said as he followed after Renesmee, she was holding his hand, strange enough her touch didn't bother him.
She had asked him to come into town with her, had sneaked them out of the house, he had a feeling this wasn't allowed, wasn't she too small to go around on her own? With him? Wasn't he bad? What if someone else recognized him and the girl got hurt? He didn't want her to be hurt, he liked her.
She would read to him and watch movies with him, she even taught him how to play with those little screens, DS, she had called them, and she's made him build things with those little blocks, Legos, and put together puzzles.
The idea of her getting hurt because of him wasn't a pleasant one.
-It's fine, I promise. No one will even notice.- Renesmee assured, she knew he was nervous, but he had nothing to be nervous about, it was all gonna be just fine, she had asked aunt Alice if she could take him out, and she had told her mother before leaving, so technically speaking, he wouldn't get in trouble for disappearing.
Plus, she really wanted him to come with her.
Like this, neither Jake nor her dad would attempt to ruin the time she spent with him, aunt Rose had stopped trying to keep her away from him, but Jake and dad were still… nervy.
She didn't care, she knew he was good, and considering what she heard… he lost his memories, but he had been aunt Alice's boyfriend to the very end before she thought him dead.
That meant he was, theoretically speaking, her uncle.
And Renesmee refused to give up the chance of spending time with him, she loved uncle Emmett, he was fun and he was one of the few people in her family who didn't treat her as if she were made out of glass.
So the idea of another uncle was great, another uncle meant another friend, and this one could eat human food, she couldn't just ignore that! The only person she could eat anything with was Jake, but he wasn't a particular fan of anything sweet or spicy.
Which took the fun out of many things.
Thus.
She had brought Jasper out with her, she even took the time to explain to him how did money work, just so he would be the one taking the wallet out and paying, it would get less attention if he was the one paying instead of the "12" year old girl.
All so she could take him to her favorite place.
The ice cream shop.
Because since he could eat human food, she wanted him to try the ones here, they were very good, she's come here several times already.
And the ice cream never failed to make her feel a nice kind of warm, like things were brighter. She wanted him to feel it too. She knows he has nightmares sometimes, and she knew he was usually very anxious around people.
Thus.
She wants him to try something yummy, better than the blood and the venom he's been tasting these past months.
She likes blood, but human food has many flavors, textures, and shapes, and they are also cold or hot.
It makes it an adventure whenever she tries something new. She never knows what she will like and what she won't.
She tightened her grip on his hand as she walked up to the counter, pulling him with her, she couldn't risk losing him, her sense of smell wasn't that great and she was sure he wouldn't be able to get back home on his own when this was his first time out.
So, better hold his hand tight.
The woman at the counter was familiar, she's seen her before, Anna.
-Welcome, what would you two like today?- Anna questioned, a polite smile on her face.
Renesmee looked down at the several flavors displayed behind the glass, she always got a different flavor, she liked trying new things.
-I would like a cup of two scoops of brownie ice cream with caramel syrup, please.- She said, she loved grandma's brownies, and she wondered if the brownie ice cream would taste as good as brownies did.
-Alright, and for…- The woman threw Jasper a look and Renesmee plastered on her sweetest smile.
-My uncle, give him a moment, he's never had ice cream before.- The woman seemed surprised, but she didn't comment on it, Renesmee tugged on his hand, requesting for him to bend down, which he did.- So? Which one do you feel like trying?
Meanwhile, Jasper frowned, what did he want? He had no idea, he was still debating as it was the fact that he had agreed to leave the house with the coven's littlest member. She had called him "uncle", and he's learnt enough about basics to know the meaning behind the title.
Which made no sense whatsoever, he wasn't anyone's brother nor was he dating anyone from her family.
Maybe it was part of the "lie" to make humans don't pay them too much attention.
Still.
What even was this? Ice cream Renesmee had called it, a cold and sweet dessert people ate either as a treat or as a means to feel better.
He had no idea what the names meant, but the colors… for something meant to be edible some looked quite unappealing in appearance.
Some others looked like they weren't something safe to eat.
One did catch his attention, a smell that stood above the others and the color didn't make him uneasy.
He had no idea what it was, but it caught his complete attention.
-That one.- He said, pointing at the light colored ice cream.
-Oh, cinnamon, that one's great.- Renesmee said, turning to look at the woman at the counter.- Two scoops of cinnamon ice cream on a cup please.
-Alright.
Soon enough Anna was handing them both their ice creams, and Renesmee was glad she didn't had to remind Jasper about the money nor the numbers when the woman told them the total price.
He did all that on his own, good, mom said it was important for everyone to know how to handle money, that way no one would take them for idiots and take more money from them than it was necessary.
Once that was dealt with Renesmee dragged him with her to the furthest booth by the window, she sat across from him.
-You scoop it up with the spoon like this.- She said, scooping up a bit of her own ice cream to show him.- And you can either lick it or eat it in one bite. But don't swallow it at once if you do eat it in one bite, you gotta take your time to enjoy the flavor.
Jasper nodded at the explanation before doing the same as Renesmee had done, scooping up a bit of the ice cream, cinnamon, it looked… interesting.
He felt the flaring joy as Renesmee tasted her ice cream, such deafening joy, she looked so happy by something so simple, was it really that good?
Finally, he chose to eat his own spoonful of ice cream, the cold feeling mixed with the strange sweetness was unexpectedly good, odd enough, it reminded him of blue lilacs scattered all over beige walls and a tinkling laughter. What even were blue lilacs?
" -T̷o̷l̷d̷ y̷o̷u̷ I̷ c̷o̷u̷l̷d̷ d̷o̷ i̷t̷."- G̷o̷l̷d̷e̷n̷ e̷y̷e̷s̷ l̷o̷o̷k̷ a̷t̷ h̷i̷m̷ p̷a̷s̷t̷ b̷r̷o̷k̷e̷n̷ g̷l̷a̷s̷s̷, a̷ p̷l̷a̷y̷f̷u̷l̷ g̷l̷i̷n̷t̷ d̷a̷n̷c̷i̷n̷g̷ i̷n̷ t̷h̷e̷m̷, p̷r̷i̷d̷e̷, l̷o̷v̷e̷.
"-'m̷ j̷u̷s̷t̷ s̷a̷y̷i̷n̷' i̷t̷'s̷ w̷e̷i̷r̷d̷ h̷o̷w̷ j̷u̷s̷t̷ 'b̷o̷u̷t̷ a̷n̷y̷o̷n̷e̷ c̷a̷n̷ m̷a̷k̷e̷ i̷t̷ n̷o̷w̷. F̷e̷e̷l̷s̷ l̷i̷k̷e̷ t̷h̷e̷ k̷i̷n̷d̷ o̷f̷ k̷n̷o̷w̷l̷e̷d̷g̷e̷ p̷e̷o̷p̷l̷e̷ w̷o̷u̷l̷d̷ k̷e̷e̷p̷ a̷s̷ h̷i̷d̷d̷e̷n̷ a̷s̷ p̷o̷s̷s̷i̷b̷l̷e̷, y̷o̷u̷ k̷n̷o̷w̷, b̷e̷c̷a̷u̷s̷e̷ t̷h̷e̷ l̷e̷s̷s̷ p̷e̷o̷p̷l̷e̷ k̷n̷o̷w̷, t̷h̷e̷ h̷i̷g̷h̷e̷r̷ t̷h̷e̷ p̷r̷o̷f̷i̷t̷ f̷o̷r̷ t̷h̷o̷s̷e̷ w̷h̷o̷ k̷n̷o̷w̷."- W̷a̷s̷ t̷h̷a̷t̷ h̷i̷s̷ v̷o̷i̷c̷e̷? I̷t̷ s̷o̷u̷n̷d̷e̷d̷ l̷i̷k̷e̷ h̷i̷s̷ v̷o̷i̷c̷e̷.
"-I̷t̷'s̷ n̷e̷v̷e̷r̷ b̷e̷e̷n̷ s̷e̷c̷r̷e̷t̷ k̷n̷o̷w̷l̷e̷d̷g̷e̷. W̷e̷ a̷r̷e̷n̷'t̷ t̷a̷l̷k̷i̷n̷g̷ a̷b̷o̷u̷t̷ t̷h̷e̷ s̷e̷c̷r̷e̷t̷ f̷o̷r̷m̷u̷l̷a̷."- A̷ s̷m̷i̷l̷e̷ p̷l̷a̷y̷e̷d̷ o̷n̷ h̷e̷r̷ l̷i̷p̷s̷ a̷s̷ s̷h̷e̷ s̷a̷y̷s̷ t̷h̷a̷t̷, h̷e̷r̷ e̷y̷e̷s̷ t̷w̷i̷n̷k̷l̷i̷n̷g̷ w̷i̷t̷h̷ a̷m̷u̷s̷e̷m̷e̷n̷t̷.
"-T̷h̷e̷ w̷h̷a̷t̷?"- H̷e̷ a̷s̷k̷s̷ i̷n̷ c̷o̷n̷f̷u̷s̷i̷o̷n̷.
"F̷u̷t̷u̷r̷e̷ s̷t̷u̷f̷f̷, d̷o̷n̷'t̷ m̷i̷n̷d̷ i̷t̷, n̷o̷w̷ e̷a̷t̷ y̷o̷u̷r̷ i̷c̷e̷ c̷r̷e̷a̷m̷."- S̷h̷e̷ o̷r̷d̷e̷r̷s̷, s̷t̷i̷c̷k̷i̷n̷g̷ a̷ s̷p̷o̷o̷n̷ i̷n̷ h̷i̷s̷ m̷o̷u̷t̷h̷, c̷o̷l̷d̷ s̷w̷e̷e̷t̷n̷e̷s̷s̷ s̷p̷r̷e̷a̷d̷i̷n̷g̷ i̷n̷s̷i̷d̷e̷. H̷e̷r̷ t̷i̷n̷k̷l̷i̷n̷g̷ l̷a̷u̷g̷h̷t̷e̷r̷ e̷c̷h̷o̷i̷n̷g̷ a̷c̷r̷o̷s̷s̷ t̷h̷e̷ p̷l̷a̷c̷e̷ a̷s̷ h̷e̷ s̷c̷ow̷l̷s̷.
-You don't like it?- Renesmee's sudden voice caught his attention, she was giving him a curious look, she was almost done with her ice cream, hadn't she just started on it?
-No, I mean, I do, just got lost in thought.- It wasn't exactly a lie. He stared down at the melting ice cream, his head was throbbing, and still, who was that just now? She didn't make him feel like the others.
Her voice, her eyes, the memory alone.
It made him feel warm, relaxed, happy.
But it also made something new sit on his chest, a most terrible feeling of having forgotten something important, something that should have never been forgotten.
A woman with golden eyes.
He's never seen anyone like that, he had seen many vampires, but none with golden eyes.
Not until the Cullens.
Was that it? Emmett said they didn't know him, not exactly, and Rosalie did say that they never met.
Did they knew whoever was that from his memories? Had she told them about him? Was that how they knew? Why they were being nice to him? He couldn't understand.
Who was that woman?
And as he started eating the ice cream he couldn't help but feel like it was missing something, like it could be better, like he's had better, which couldn't be possible, he's never tasted this before, and while he was aware he could eat human food he's never had it before…
So how could this be missing something he's never had before? How could it taste better when he's never tasted it before?
It was confusing, irritating and frustrating.
Because this was the first time one of the memories he's managed to get a glimpse of hasn't left him wanting to rip his head off nor in a weird scenario where he doesn't remember how did he got there.
And now he couldn't stop thinking about the golden eyes.
Who did they belong to? Had she been a friend? Someone good? Why wasn't she here now? Had he hurt her? He was a bad person, right? Had he hurt her? Was that how he ended up chained up there? Was that why no one wanted to tell him whatever was that they were hiding?
Has she been part of their coven? And now she was gone because of him? But if that was it then it wouldn't make sense for them to be helping him nor treating with such kindness.
Then what was it? What wasn't he seeing? Would he ever get his memories back? Would he ever know who was that woman with the golden eyes? He didn't knew why, but he had the feeling she had been special.
Important.
Someone he should have never forgotten about, but he did.
And it felt like no atrocity he's ever made could compare to forgetting her.