Notes: I apologize for the delay in updating the story; I've been quite busy with work. I hope you find this chapter enjoyable. Your comments and reviews are a significant source of encouragement for me to continue, so please don't hesitate to leave your thoughts and kudos. I hope you enjoy this chapter!
Secrets I have held in my heart
Are harder to hide than I thought
Maybe I just wanna be yours
Amanda arrived at SVU five minutes late, sporting sunglasses and her hair pulled up into a messy yet decent bun, her beige trench coat's belt draped loosely around her waist. She hurriedly composed herself as she entered, then collapsed into her chair, exhaling deeply, only just realizing that she had been holding her breath. As she looked around the squad room, she found everyone engrossed in their tasks, and she silently thanked her lucky stars that she hadn't missed anything important.
Amanda's gaze shifted towards Olivia's office, where she surreptitiously watched Olivia on her phone, jotting down notes. Without warning, Olivia's eyes locked with hers, sending a shiver down Amanda's spine. From a distance, Amanda could discern that Olivia's eyes had taken on a darker hue, a sign that she was either upset or annoyed – or maybe even turned on... perhaps. Amanda offered a small smile, and to her surprise, Olivia returned it before returning her focus to her notepad.
An hour had passed, and Amanda found herself unable to shake the persistent desire to enter Olivia's office and extend an apology for her lateness. If she were to be completely honest with herself, the true motivation behind her impulse was to be near Olivia. To savor her perfume and hear her voice, even if it meant enduring a scolding for her tardiness. After wrestling with herself for a couple of minutes, Amanda yielded to her inner demons and found herself knocking on her lieutenant's office door. Without the opportunity to reconsider and retreat like a coward, Amanda's body began to tingle as she heard Olivia's almost annoyed tone instructing her to enter.
Amanda entered the office with a touch of anxiety, her gaze fixed on the gleaming floor, her pulse quickening as she caught a whiff of Olivia's fragrance, a scent she couldn't quite identify. Her hands were clasped behind her, and she stood with a respectful distance of a few inches away from Olivia's desk, ensuring there was an arm's length of space between them.
"Amanda?"
Amanda snapped out of her trance, and her eyes locked onto Olivia's. There was a powerful, almost magnetic, pull between them that sent a shiver down her spine. It was both exhilarating and terrifying. She couldn't help but wonder if Olivia felt it too. Fin's words from last night had stayed with her: "It's not one-sided." Those simple words had given her a fragile sense of hope.
Shaking her head slightly and clearing her throat, she stammered, "Sorry..."
"Everything okay?"
"Yes, uh, I just wanted to apologize for my tardiness," Amanda stuttered. "I thought I was going to make it on time, but New York traffic got the better of me."
Olivia stared back at her, a hint of confusion in her eyes as she observed Amanda's nervous demeanor. Amanda's apprehensive stance, the way she chewed on her bottom lip, and her subtle swaying from side to side near her boots all caught Olivia's attention. It was clear to Olivia that there was something more on Amanda's mind, something she seemed to be holding back. Whatever it was, she trusted that Amanda would share it in due time.
"Well, if you hadn't mentioned it, I would have never noticed, but since you brought it up..." Olivia shrugged. "Try to call and give us a heads up next time."
Amanda nodded and offered a small smile. "Copy that."
The pen that Olivia held between her fingers slipped and fell onto the notepad with an audible thud, the sound echoing loudly in the tense silence between them. The abrupt noise resonated in the air, making it feel dense and heavy. The office seemed to grow warmer, and the furnace's heat felt more intense, leaving them both uncertain if it had just kicked in or if the thick tension between them was causing the rise in temperature. Unbeknownst to them, Amanda and Olivia's eyes traced a path between each other's lips and locked gazes, a mutual desire burning within them, each secretly yearning to share a kiss and hold the other close. It was a risky sensation coursing through their veins, a dangerous game that should not be entertained.
Olivia mentally shook herself free from the fog, softly and quietly clearing her dry throat. "Was there anything else?" she asked, her voice barely audible even to herself.
Blue eyes blinked a couple of times, snapping back to reality as Amanda mimicked Olivia's action of clearing her cottony mouth and throat. "No, no, that was all," Amanda replied, her voice trembling.
Olivia observed as Amanda swiftly turned and exited her office in a matter of seconds, as if fleeing an infectious presence. Her brown eyes trailed the blonde as she walked back to her desk, wearing an expression of embarrassment and self-reproach. " That makes two of us ," Olivia reflected silently.
Instinctively, Olivia reached for her iPhone and tapped on her messages, opening a chat with the most recent sender. Her fingers moved swiftly as she typed out a message, asking, " Any plans tonight? "
Regret washed over Olivia like an immediate, icy wave as she placed her phone back on her desk. What had she just done? Her anxiety surged like tsunami waves, coursing through her entire body in tandem with her rapidly beating heart. Her head throbbed as she anxiously awaited a reply. It felt as if she'd been transported back to high school, with all the uncertainties and anxieties that came with it. As swiftly as her regret had swept over her, a loud vibration and ding from her phone interrupted her thoughts, alerting her to a new message.
With shaky hands, Olivia picked up her phone and turned it to find that Amanda had indeed replied. The message was right there on her screen, consisting of just two words, but those two words challenged her to make her next move.
"No plans," Amanda had replied, keeping her response simple and straightforward.
Before she could second-guess herself, Olivia sent her final question: "Interested in a nightcap? There's a quiet bar outside the city."
The message bubbles appeared on the text, and shortly after, Amanda's response came through " Send the address and time, and I'll meet you there ."
It was around eleven o'clock on a surprisingly calm night as Amanda strolled down a quiet street bathed in the gentle glow of streetlights. The crisp air held a hint of autumn's earthy fragrance, and the rustling leaves underfoot added a soothing rhythm to her steps. She soon arrived at the unassuming entrance of a quaint bar, its warm, amber light spilling onto the sidewalk. As she pushed open the wooden door, a soft chime announced her arrival. Inside, she found the bar bathed in a warm, welcoming ambiance, with a few older gentlemen seated at the mahogany counter, engaged in hushed conversations over glasses of aged whiskey. The soft murmur of their voices and the subtle clinking of glasses filled the air, creating an atmosphere of timeless camaraderie, even at this late hour. Amanda stood near the door, taking in the beautiful old-style bar that reminded her of the local dive bars back in Georgia. She smiled softly and nervously when she spotted Olivia sitting at the end of the bar, attentively tending to her wine glass.
Building up her courage, Amanda made her way over to where Olivia sat, gracefully slipping between the tall chairs, positioning herself between Olivia and the unoccupied chair on her left. With a friendly smile, she inquired, "This seat taken?"
Olivia turned to Amanda, her eyes lighting up as she immediately flashed her playful smile. "Nope, all yours," she replied with a chuckle, making Amanda feel welcomed and at ease, even though she was a nervous wreck herself.
Amanda ordered herself a beer as she settled into her chair, then turned her attention to Olivia. "Hope I wasn't too late," she said with a small smile. "Frannie decided to throw up after our run, and I had to handle the situation."
"Oh, no, no, you're not late at all," Olivia reassured her, raising her wine glass toward Amanda. "I hope Frannie is okay," she added with genuine concern in her eyes.
They clinked their drinks together in a toast to the evening, their eyes locked in a captivating gaze, both seemingly lost in each other's beauty. Unbeknownst to them, their heartbeats synchronized, goosebumps raised along their skin, and their senses heightened, creating an almost otherworldly connection. In that moment, it was as if they shared a single soul, a rare and powerful bond that left them both entranced, neither fully aware of the depth of their connection.
"She's all good. But what about you?"
"What about me?" Olivia asked, her lips lightly touching the wine glass
Amanda shrugged her shoulders and shifted her focus to the TV above them, trying to divert her attention from Olivia because her nerves were becoming overwhelming. "I'm just surprised you asked me out for drinks," she admitted, her gaze fixed on the game playing on the screen.
"Oh, I, uh... well, I didn't feel like going to an empty apartment, and I thought you might've felt the same," Olivia replied, her voice slightly hesitant.
Amanda turned her attention back to Olivia, whose eyes were now focused on her drink. "Oh," she said softly, a warm smile forming on her lips. "I'm glad you asked me out."