The sun was setting, its brilliant rays brightening the Tokyo skyline and covering the sky in warm and inviting hues. Bathing in one of the sun's radiant rays, one would have felt strong and energized, ready to charge ahead with no regrets whatsoever. Yet, standing on the roof of the building that held so many memories of the summer festival they had together, a boy with black hair and golden eyes let out a long breath and sighed. How did it come to this, he wondered…

Chapter 1 - An attempt at a farewell

"I love you, Fuutarou-kun. And I love you so much I'd do anything to make you mine."

"I love you a lot, Fuu-kun. Or do you not believe me and my love for you?"

"I…I love you, Fuutarou. I can't hold back anymore, my feelings for you truly are genuine."

"I love you, Uesugi-san. Did you think that what I told you on my lap was a lie? "

"I love you, Uesugi-kun. BU-but I don't expect an answer now, after all you're still an idiot."

With these five lines, Fuutarou Uesugi's fate was sealed, for good or bad.

Ever since he learned of the Nakano quintuplets' feelings for him, he had wanted to make a decision once and for all about who his one true love really was. But that was six months ago, and he still hadn't decided. It had started off as a tiny but insistent burr rattling around in the back of his head, nagging at him to make a decision, but by the fourth month the thought had grown tendrils of worry, thorns of self-doubt, and the rotten stench of insecurity.

Every day it would dominate his thoughts, wreak havoc on his mind, and affect his daily life.

Every day it would torture him and slowly wear his mental well-being down into nothing.

Every day it would challenge him, daring him to unravel its secrets and discover the truth.

And every day, he would admit defeat, fitfully tossing and turning in his bed without an answer.

As much as he tried, and after looking at the mound of crumpled-up papers beside his desk revealing his conflicted thoughts and feelings, Fuutarou Uesugi was forced to come to the final conclusion that he just couldn't choose between the five of them, because each quintuplet was unique and interesting in her own different way:

Ichika Nakano was a slob, always sleepy, and had a really annoying tendency to hide her true feelings, but the amount of effort she put into being the quintuplets' reliable older sister and as an aspiring actress had won his respect and admiration.

Yotsuba Nakano really needed to think for herself sometimes and tried to help everyone even when it was detrimental to her health and well-being, but she was positive and overflowed with life and energy.

Nino Nakano was, through the technically-dangerous-but-understandable act of drugging him, hot-headed, headstrong, but also honest and thoughtful. She still irked him sometimes, but they were on much more friendlier terms now.

Miku Nakano was quiet and a little shy, which had made their first few interactions anything but smooth, but had the sort of quiet determination and resilience that could overcome anything in her way.

And Itsuki Nakano seemed to have gotten Fuutarou's stubbornness along with his intelligence, which often led to them butting heads over the smallest things, but she also taught him to be humble and could be counted on when it was necessary.

Given the amount of animosity Fuutarou had noticed between them in their bid for his affection, he could not guarantee wholeheartedly that the quintuplets would fall apart again over him. Fuutarou simply could not make one heart whole, not while stomping the other four into tiny, painful pieces in the process. As a rational human being, as the quintuplets' faithful tutor, and as their loyal friend, Fuutarou Uesugi resolved never to do such a thing to the Nakano quintuplets.

Briefly, Fuutarou Uesugi considered risking polygamy, which meant dating all five of the quintuplets at once, with the option of getting engaged to all five becoming a plausible opportunity in the future. Technically, the problem he had with breaking four hearts while repairing one would be solved easily with it, as he wouldn't be breaking any hearts and could even repair all of them. However, it is important to note that the words "could even", not the word "definitely", were used by the author, owing to the fact that Fuutarou did not believe that he had it in himself to love all 5 sisters equally. Every day would be a delicate balancing act, and he would have to constantly prove to them that he was both incredibly willing to share his love among the Nakanos and was committed to making sure that it would last even after high school and college, something that would ultimately be untenable in the long run. Plus, polygamy was illegal in Japan, and if he was caught practicing polygamy with them there would be severe legal consequences, which he did mind, because his family did not have the money to pay any sort of lawyer or post bail if he was fined or even jailed. But ultimately, what made Fuutarou finally put an end to this dangerous train of thought was the fact that he did not wish for the quintuplets to be affected by this as well.

The decision that he had to make was life-changing, and as such he spent a remarkable amount of time on it. He thought about it every single day: During his classes, during lunch, even when he was using the restroom.

Eventually, though, the amount of anxiety and self doubt that came with the decision proved too much.

Even for someone as decisive and intelligent as Fuutarou Uesugi.

Everything around him started to crumble, and Fuutarou saw no way out. His strict daily lifestyle was the first to crack, and he began to arrive late to class on a regular basis. Remarkably, Fuutarou's test grades remained top notch, and he still remained the number one top scorer in the entire school. But unfortunately, his grades were pretty much the only thing that still remained stable.

He started to chew his nails in frustration at the difficult choice he was being forced to make, often going to the bathroom during class to wash the blood off of his hands. Often, Fuutarou's hair would be unkempt, his uniform started to have the tiniest of wrinkles, and, when he believed that no one was watching him, he would drop his indifferent facade and let out a tired breath, knowing that he could not keep up this charade any longer.

His closest friends, Takeda and Maeda, noticed Fuutarou's small but subtle red flags and became worried for him, but each time, he would wave them off, saying that they were overthinking it and he was just tired. However, he'd kept a secret from his friends, his family, even the quintuplets themselves. A secret that would, in his opinion, solve the problems of everyone around him.

It was easy, almost too easy. However, as time wore on, Fuutarou couldn't ignore the fact that, if he succeeded, they would all be free from the chains that bound them to their every misfortune and suffering. At the very least, for four groups of people.

First, his closest friends Takeda and Maeda.

Takeda would be able to take his place as the number one top scorer in the school and finally be able to tutor the Nakano quintuplets, something he's always wished for, while Maeda would finally be able to date the Nakano sister he so admired and find his true love. Both would be sad to see him go, but honestly Fuutarou was so stuck up, self centered, and dense he half expected them to just forget about him within a year.

Second, his father Isanagi and his younger sister Raiha.

Isanagi and Raiha would, understandably, both be devastated, but to be honest Fuutarou was a huge burden on them, forcing them to pay his ludicrously expensive tuition and living fees that made it impossible for them to pay off their debt.

Every day, he saw the hopelessness in Isanagi's eyes as he thought about the mountain of debt they still had to pay off before they could finally have a better life.

Every day, he saw the tiny but obvious sadness lingering in Raiha for having to cook for the entire family and raise it up all by herself.

With him gone, they would be able to pay off their debts faster and, with enough time, be able to become better off financially. Even though Fuutarou was, for all intents and purposes, the breadwinner of the Uesugi family, their financial gains from him leaving would be far better than the financial costs from him staying. This took a bit longer for Fuutarou to reason out, but he truly believed that they would be far better off without him by their side to pull them back and be a burden.

Third, the quintuplets Ichika, Nino, Miku, Yotsuba, and Itsuki Nakano.

This nearly broke Fuutarou. They were, in his opinion, the worst possible kind of people he could ever have met: the kind that made it hard for him to let go of. Deep down, he had to admit that all five truly changed him in ways even he hadn't expected to be changed in when he first took up the job of tutoring them. And they had laughed together, cried together, and most importantly grown together, which made it all the more harder for him to become mentally prepared for the fact that he was never going to see them again. But that was then.

Now was different. Now, their once-unbreakable sibling bonds had started to fray, and he felt guilty for having instigated such animosity between the quintuplets who vied for his affection. Even the once peaceful and relaxing atmosphere of their study sessions had turned into a full-blown battlefield, with Nino, Miku, and Ichika trading vicious barbs with one another while Fuutarou, Itsuki, and Yotsuba tried desperately in vain to stop their raging arguments. More often than not, one or more of the quintuplets would walk off in anger, and Fuutarou would be forced to end the session early while the Nakanos tried to sort out their growing differences with one another. And the fact remained that, for all his shining grades and close connection with the quintuplets, they were simply not getting the grades that they would have under a good tutor.

And so there it was. The final piece of the puzzle that would give Fuutarou Uesugi closure.

If he left, the quintuplet's father, Maruo Nakano, would still do his very best to find his children the best tutor that money could buy, and at the very least they would get into a good college and live a fulfilling life. And thus, having convinced himself that the quintuplets would be better off without him, Fuutarou moved on to the final obstacle he had to face:

Himself.

Honestly, having to say goodbye to himself was difficult. He wanted the status quo to exist, even as it became more and more clearer that that would never happen. But, if Fuutarou Uesugi left, the world would not change. People would still be doing what they needed to do, oblivious to the fact that the top-scorer and tutor of five siblings was gone. He was a tiny, insignificant speck of dust in the grand scheme of things, and as such he was essentially useless to all but the people around him, which wasn't saying much since Fuutarou never made any other friends outside of his childhood's, the quintuplets, and Takeda and Maeda. Thus, after contemplating for a long, long time, he came to a decision.

Fuutarou Uesugi was going to leave.

But not just anywhere. He knew that the people he loved would go to the ends of the world to find him, from the sweltering Gobi and Sahara deserts to the freezing cold Antarctica and Arctic. As far fetched as that sounded, Fuutarou Uesugi knew that that was precisely what his family, friends, and the quintuplets would do, no matter what. And of course, having calculated the amount of money they would have to waste if he truly wanted to run away and they really wanted to find him, Fuutarou Uesugi knew that he could never let it ever come to that.

No, he was going to do something much simpler. Something that didn't require too much money, and would be relatively easy to execute.

Although he would rather jump off a cliff than admit it, Fuutarou had given up. His life was in shambles, the quintessential Nakano quintuplets were locked in a vicious downward spiral because of him, and his family would never find a way out of their debt with him being a burden.

So, he was going to go to a place where even the quintuplets and his family would pause before following, if they even followed at all.

Though, there was still a tiny little seed laying in the soil that was Fuutarou's thoughts and feelings that hoped that someone would, at least, try to stop him before he went there.

Fuutarou Uesugi was going to commit suicide.

Author's note:

Hello everyone! For those who are now reading this, I really want to thank you for reading my first fanfiction. More chapters (and more comprehensive author notes) will be coming soon, and I hope to see you guys soon :D

Gods, I hope I can make this work with school and everything ;-; - K1tsune