Disclaimer: Not mine.

I apologize for the delay. As I've said on a few other fics I've been posting of late - I'm not

burned out, but I am definitely a bit toasted, so I'm going a lot slower. Hopefully it won't last for much longer, but in the meantime.

Thanks to lilykep for beta-reading. Also thanks to my friend Vic for some idea help as I worked through this chapter.

Next Year's Girl

By Kylia

Chapter 11: Oh Shit.

November 29th, 2000

Hyperion Hotel, Los Angeles

Cordelia was not normally one to over-caffeinate - she'd never needed to to study for a test, or stay up for a test or anything like that, and before working for Angel, she'd been more concerned about getting her beauty sleep than staying up later than she needed to.

And with Angel Investigations, she usually didn't need to drink too much coffee either. A bit every now and then, yes. But most nights, she wasn't staying that late, and if she was, she could sleep in the next day anyway.

Benefits of having a boss that didn't tan well.

But, she had over-caffeinated this time. Angel had gone off with Darla, to find some desperate, last-gasp attempt to save her and Cordelia had demanded Xander go after them, to keep Angel from doing something stupid. And who stops Xander from doing something stupid? Nobody!

She was reduced to pacing. There was nothing to do, nothing she could do. Wesley was going through his books, Angel's books, writing things down, mumbling, but she knew him well enough to know that whatever he was turning up, it was amounting to a pile of nothing.

And so she paced. Worrying. Worrying about Angel - nothing new there, she did that pretty much since she started working for him. At first it was more... worrying about her job and her safety if he died, but he was still worrying. But then it was as much, or more, because she worried about her friend dying.

Worrying about Xander was... well, that was... different. She had done it a lot, while they were dating, and she'd started to do it a little bit since he'd come back to L.A. just...

God, was it really just a month and a half ago? It all felt like so much more. And she was worried about him, and his well-being and she hated that. But she couldn't help it.

And she hated that too.

"Cordelia, if you could please stop pacing, I'm trying to focus on this text," Wesley finally spoke up, his soft tone still cutting through the heavy silence like a proverbial gunshot.

"And what exactly is focusing on 'that text'," she said the last two words in a bad English accent "going to accomplish? Are you finding some magic cure for Darla's syphilis? Some way to knock Angel on the head hard enough that he comes back to his senses?" Cordelia rolled her eyes, scoffing. "You're not finding anything useful in those old giant books of yours and you know it!"

"At least I'm trying to do something, rather than simply walking around aimlessly!" Wesley snapped back.

"Yes, you're 'trying', because you actually think you'll find some way to save-" Cordelia turned at the sound of the door opening, watching Darla stumble into the hotel, "Darla." She finished, her voice dropping off, slowing awkwardly.

The blonde looked... haggard. Her hair was out of place and undone, she looked like she'd been breathing heavily, running, and her makeup was smudge from what Cordelia could only assume was tears, though she didn't look to be crying now.

But despite that, she walked in, trying to keep her head high, a brave face, lips set flat.

Before Cordelia could so much as say 'Angel had better be right behind you', Angel was coming in as well, and where Darla looked haggard and spent physically, but trying to maintain a brave face, Angel seemed the opposite. He looked fine, physically, but his expression, his air...

Angel didn't smile much. Rarely laughed - though more now than in Sunnydale, such as Cordelia had known him there - and usually just sat in the dark and brooded. She knew his different brooding faces, but this wasn't one. He wasn't frowning, or scowling, no brow furrowed...

His shoulders were slumped, and he walked as if he was carrying a weight that he was just barely holding up. His arms hung loosely by his sides, he looked like he was taking up less space.

"Angel!?" Cordelia moved towards him, hearing Wesley do the same as Angel came down the steps, Darla with him. "What happened? Is Darla-"

"I'm still dying," Darla murmured. "There was - there was this trial... Angel tried to give his life to save mine... it was so stupid of him and it wouldn't have even worked anyway!" Darla looked over at him. "Why!? Why would you do that for me!"

"Because you deserve a second chance," Angel answered, softly. He looked over at Cordelia, "You sent Xander after me, didn't you?"

"The idiot wasn't going to volunteer to go on his own, so yeah, duh!" Cordelia snapped. "Where is he?!"

"He - he should be right behind us." Angel murmured. "Thank you, Cordelia."

He'd better be! "I - what happened? Obviously you failed to save Darla, but - what did Xander do that has you thanking me for sending him?!" Cordelia had been ignoring Darla now, focused on Angel, and Xander, but then the blonde ex-vampire spoke up, voice still soft.

"He stopped Drusilla from getting to - to me. From turning me." Darla explained. "Lindsey - he - he came. I don't know if it was part of... part of Wolfram and Hart's plan, or - or if he just thinks he's in love with me and doesn't want me to die..." she trailed off, shaking her head. "But he came, his men nearly tased Angel... Drusilla was coming and - she would have made me..." she slumped as she stood.

The name Drusilla sounded familiar to Cordelia, but she was having trouble placing it for a long moment.

"She would have made me a vampire again."

"Which you no longer want," Wesley observed.

"No," Darla said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I - I did too much evil as a vampire, to deserve a second chance, and I - I don't want to add to it."

Oh, right! Spike's psycho ex. The one Angelus turned and drove insane. Though given how obsessive his old 'friend' Penn was, maybe being turned by Angelus just does that to a vampire.

"Well, somehow I don't think Lindsey or Wolfram and Hart is going to just give up that easily, so let's get you two away from the door in case they attack," Cordelia pointed out, gesturing to Darla and Angel. She looked at the door, watching for Xander. "And you can tell me what happened," then she rounded on Angel, jabbing him in the chest with her finger, "and you" she raised her voice, "can tell us all about how you were so stupid as to try and trade your life for hers, and just why it apparently wouldn't have worked anyway. I swear to god, you're dumber than Xander, when it comes to Darla!"

The explanation that followed was abridged - clearly the two were leaving things out, and apparently Xander hadn't done his job and followed them into these 'trials' Angel had gone for, but from the sound of it, he might not have been able to anyway...

Angel had faced two life-risking challenges, and then there was the third one - giving his life for Darla's. Darla seemed on the verge of tears as she tried to get Angel to agree it was a stupid decision of him, but Angel, the big stubborn idiot that he was, couldn't be forced to agree.

"I thought I wanted to live, even if it meant..." Darla shook her head, trailing off. She inhaled slowly, looking away, saying nothing.

"And that's when Lindsey showed up with Drusilla? And Wolfram and Hart enforcers?" Wesley asked.

Angel nodded. "They came in too quickly - they tried to tase me... but Xander interrupted their approach, so I heard them coming, just barely... and then he called out, shouting that Drusilla was there. I had to get away, had to get Darla away-"

"And you left Xander to face Drusilla all by himself!?" Cordelia demanded.

"No, she was beaten by that point," Xander's voice came from the doorway. He looked like he'd been through a wringer - tired, hair messier than usual, like he'd been exerting himself and sweating - which made his shirt cling to his chest a little in ways Cordelia was not noticing - and there was a cut on his cheek, no longer bleeding, but it had done so, and there was dried blood on his cheek. As he walked closer, Cordelia saw marks on his neck, as if someone - Drusilla? - had tried to choke him.

"Is she-?" Darla asked, "Did you - did you slay her?"

"No. She got away. But the vial of holy water I smashed in her face and her broken nose left her pretty beaten up. She's at least not coming tonight." Xander came down the steps onto the main floor of the lobby and started walking towards the area behind the front desk. "First aid kit still in the second drawer?"

"Yeah - how do you need to ask?"

"I usually use the one in my room, but since I got Drusilla cutting me up because you asked me to shadow Angel, I figured I can use yours," Xander explained. He opened the drawer, taking the kit out. "Glad you're not a vamp, Darla. Nobody deserves that, satisfying as it might have been to get to dust you."

"...I don't know how to respond to that," Darla admitted after a moment.

"Probably for the best. Spend too long thinking about the stupid shit that Xander says, and you'll hurt your brain," Cordelia explained, then she stood and moved over to the desk, where Xander was starting to clean the cut, though without a mirror, he wasn't doing a perfect job. She resisted the urge to grab the peroxide-soaked cotton ball and take care of it for him, just so it could get done right faster. "Are you okay?" She added in a quieter tone.

"I'll live." Xander said softly. "Nearly got my brain melted by Drusilla. Got to hear her ranting about me ruining everything. But hey, the vamp got chased off and the day was saved." Xander finished cleaning the cut, but he didn't bother to put a bandaid on it. No need, with something that shallow when you had Slayer healing, Cordelia was sure.

He closed the first-aid kit and let out a long breath, shoulders relaxing. "Seriously though, I was so looking forward to gloating you'd gotten all worked up over nothing, that nothing was going to go wrong, and then Drusilla shows up."

"Angel tried to sacrifice himself to save Darla! You know, exactly the thing I sent you to stop?" Cordelia snapped. "Why didn't you follow them into the trial!?" She knew the answer was probably 'I couldn't' but still!

"If you mean whatever place he went to after they went to Caritas, I tried. Well, short of taking a dive off a board into a swimming pool, but I don't heal as fast as a vampire does, so I wasn't going to try that." Xander said, then blinked. "What's this about Angel trying to sacrifice himself?"

Rolling her eyes, Cordelia quickly summarized what Angel and Darla had told her about the Trials, including that Angel's final trial had been to trade his life for hers. "Apparently, because she came back from the dead once, it doesn't work."

"Which would explain why Linsey was trying to 'save' her," Xander rolled his eyes. "Well, I don't know if Drusilla will come back to try again, or Lindsey, you know him better than I do."

"He might..." Darla admitted softly. "Knowing that I'm here with you will only make him angrier. I - I should-"

"You're not going anywhere." Angel grabbed her hand, gently. "If you leave, they'll just find you and turn you. Stay here. If - if we can't find a way to save you - I can at least make sure you don't become a vampire."

Angel! Great, now the hotel was going to get a visit from psycho vampire Drusilla.

"Wolfram and Hart will come in force if they really want her turned," Wesley warned, beating Cordelia to saying that.

"Then we'll be ready for them." Angel countered. "Make it more expensive for them than to just give up."

"Unless that's just another mind game," Cordelia pointed out. Darla and Angel turned to her. "I'm not saying they planned to fail with turning her," Cordelia clarified. Assuming that it wasn't just Lindsey doing his own thing, which Cordelia was skeptical of - Lindsey caring about anyone other than himself? He'd had his chance for that. He took his thirty pieces of silver in the form of a pay raise and a corner office.

But Cordelia knew how many clients they'd had to turn down because Angel had Darla dominating his thoughts. How much time Angel had wasted on this whole Darla thing. A lot, on both counts. Distracting Angel from messing with their plans had to be worth it too.

"I don't think they planned on Xander being there to break Drusilla's nose or anything like that," Cordelia added, hearing Xander chuckle behind her, sounding very satisfied with himself. "But - I mean, Wolfram and Hart brought you back for a reason, Darla-"

"To make Angel lose his soul." Darla interrupted.

"Well, there's pretty much only one way to do that, and Angel isn't going to be doing that," Cordelia countered. She looked at Angel. "You're not, right?"

"Of course not!" Angel confirmed, raising his voice, sitting up a little. "This isn't - I'm not doing this to-" Angel started, looking between her, and then Darla.

"...I know that now. They know that now." Darla said softly. She laughed humorlessly, "It still smarts, knowing that cheerleader could do what I couldn't. Even if..." Darla bit her lip. "Never mind."

"Even if you're glad you failed?" Wesley asked softly, and Darla rolled her eyes, but nodded.

"Be that as it may," Wesley went on, standing and starting to pace. Cordelia could all but see the gears turning in his Making Angel lose his soul may well have been the primary goal, but bringing you back required an ancient scroll containing the prophecies of Aberjian, a powerful demon, a dangerous ritual, the death of multiple messengers of the Powers that Be and nearly blowing me up," Wesley added that last part as if it was an afterthought.

Which, knowing Wesley, it might have been.

"What's your point?" Angel raised an eyebrow. "You said the prophecy said I play a big role in the apocalypse. Wolfram and Hart are on the other side, and they want me on theirs."

Cordelia looked back, seeing Xander make a confused face at that. Oh right. He also never heard about the part where Angel becomes a real boy again. The question was, was telling him a good idea? He'd probably be so annoyed to hear about the whole Shanshu thing, which could be fun to see...

"Almost certainly," Wesley agreed, "but we have no idea when the apocalypse detailed in the scrolls is happening. There's any number of signs that haven't occurred yet. Wolfram and Hart has been around for centuries in one form or another, possibly longer, the Council's records are... unclear. Regardless, they're arrayed a lot of forces against you, Angel, and I can't imagine they didn't at least consider the prospect that Darla might fail."

"Exactly!" Cordelia cut in, before Wesley could go on, taking his time to get to the point. "Angel, with as much time as you've spent on her, how much her being back has distracted you from your mission, not to mention your job-!"

"You think this is all one distraction?" Angel's tone was... neutral. She couldn't tell if he was skeptical, or seeing her point.

"Why else would they try to turn her?!" Cordelia pointed out. "Lindsey had his chance to be a better person and care about someone other than himself, and he didn't take it. If Wolfram and Hart wasn't onboard with you getting turned, he wouldn't have risked disobeying -"

"He did once," Xander disagreed. "When he told Angel where Darla was being taken to be killed. Didn't even have to be threatened" What the hell? When did that - since when did he do that? "Plus, somehow, I can't imagine they thought you'd be more likely to sleep with Darla when she was a vampire." He added.

"Yeah, because the point is to distract her! They found her to show her the files that she was going to die, why not just kill her then if they wanted her dead?!" Cordelia snapped. "Angel, this is just one big mindgame to make you focus on her."

"I'm afraid that does seem to be a very likely possibility," Wesley agreed.

Angel and Darla both said nothing for a long moment. Darla was looking at the ground, shrinking into herself a bit.

"So what? I should just throw her out and let them turn her?" Angel shook his head, "Darla, you're too clever to just let me stake you all that easily, especially since I did it once."

Darla laughed hollowly, "I couldn't believe you'd actually do it, you know. Not then, anyway," she added, inhaling in short, shallow breaths through her nose. "If - I wouldn't fall for it again."

"The records of your actions - you are the one who made Angelus into the vampire who became known as the Scourge of Europe," Wesley noted. He looked over at Cordelia. "I don't disagree with you that she could very well be a distraction from Angel's mission, but if she was turned she would be one as well, and innocent people would die in large numbers in the process."

Damnit Wesley! Cordelia wasn't saying toss her out, but - this was a bad idea, all around. One woman with centuries of sins and she didn't even seem all that interested in apologizing or trying to atone, like Angel was, set against everyone Angel was supposed to be helping? Against the visions!?

She was about to say that, say... something, when Xander spoke up.

"When exactly did you start messing with Angel's dreams?" Xander looked at Darla. "Like, how long?" What does that have to do with anything!

Darla laughed humorlessly, the chuckle empty. "Not that long. I started October 6th, but it took a few days for things to really get moving, but once they did..." she trailed off.

"And how long did you guys plan it before then?"

"Once I was acclimated to being alive again... it took a few weeks for all the pieces to come into place, especially the Calynthia powder-"

Angel blinked, "You were using Calynthia powder on me?!" His outburst surprised Cordelia - what was such a big deal about this powder? Darla nodded.

"Well, that would explain why your sleep was suffering so badly," Wesley noted. He looked over at Xander, "What are you getting at?"

"Good question." Cordelia looked at Xander. "What does the timeline have to do with the fact that Darla is a distraction Angel really can't afford?" She looked over at Darla. "No offense, but -"

"Yeah, how could she take offense at that?" Xander rolled his eyes.

"Oh, don't you start with that, Xander. You basically just said you wished she was turned so you could stake her!" Cordelia snapped, stepping closer to Xander.

"I said the exact opposite!" Xander countered, raising his voice. "I said I was glad she wasn't turned, even if staking her would have been satisfying!"

"So, yeah, that's-"

"It's not the same thing!" Xander countered. "And at the very least, I didn't add a 'no offense' on the end, Cordy!"

Angel raised his voice, "Children! Stop it!" Cordelia closed her mouth, heat flooding to her cheeks - she and Xander were once more practically in eachother's faces, her heart was pounding in her chest she -

She stepped back, quickly (more like jumped back, really), taking a deep breath, seeing Xander do something similar. Why does this keep happening!?

"What was your point, Xander?" Angel asked after another moment.

"I started having the Slayer dreams that brought me to L.A. two weeks before we met. Which would have been right in the middle of the planning phase of your and Wolfram and Hart's little scheme to mess with Angel," Xander said to Darla. "And The Host at Caritas told me there was something coming down the road I'd need to help you with," He looked at Angel. "And from the sound of it, Darla getting turned would be like Angelus coming back. So, bad news."

"Even at my worst I- I couldn't have matched Angelus. He was... well, he was -"

"Super bad, evil, nasty, yada yada," Cordelia interrupted. "Yeah, we know. Got to spend months having him terrorize our Hellmouth." She looked at Xander. "You seriously think this was the big evil you're supposed to stop!"

"Technically, the Host didn't say anything about a big evil." Xander pointed out. "Just something big that I'd need to help Angel with. And I'm starting to think it was Darla. Stopping her getting turned - and..." Xander let out a breath. "And helping pick up the slack while Angel protects Darla."

Oh you traitor! "You can't be serious, Xander! You're not Angel! You can't just fill in for him!"

"Says who? I mean, I probably can't beat Angel in a fight, but I could make a good attempt at it, and what else am I going to do? I'm already hanging out here, helping you guys out. I've been neck deep in this whole Darla situation for like, a month now anyway, why not stay involved?" Xander shook his head and shrugged.

"Cordelia, we can't pick and choose who is worthy of being saved," Wesley said, which sounded familiar, since he'd basically said the same thing to her a few days ago.

"I was never saying don't help Darla!" Cordelia protested. "Just -" she shook her head. "Fine. Whatever. She's staying here, and you'll protect her against Wolfram and Hart coming for her to turn her, that's the plan? You'll just hunker down here forever?"

"It will hardly be forever," Darla pointed out, "I have two months, if I'm lucky."

"And I won't - it's not like I need to be here every minute." Angel pointed out. "If something's big enough, important enough - but..." he shook his head. "We can't let them turn her. She doesn't deserve it, and as a vampire, she'd be too dangerous." He looked at Darla. "...that means we can't really let you leave the hotel either."

Darla wrapped her arms around her midsection, "Right now, I don't exactly want to."

Angel put his hand on her shoulder, saying something about keeping her safe in a calm, reassuring tone, but Cordelia looked away. God, I'm - Angel was being an idiot.

"So... what, I just call Xander first anytime I have a vision, or we get a client?" She looked over at Xander, "I suppose you'll want to get paid if you do client work?"

"I'll settle for free rent and coffee," Xander countered.

Cordelia bit her lip, exhaling quickly, loudly through her nose. "Fine. Fine."

As if I wasn't spending too much time around him as it was.

And she only had herself to blame - she'd repeatedly urged Angel to call Xander, or called him in herself. She'd basically decided Xander could stay here. She'd gotten him involved in this Darla stuff multiple times. Every time it made sense. Hell, it had been the right call this latest time, thanks to Drusilla coming for Darla, but now? Now she was really going to have to deal with him all the time now.

So why isn't this disgusting me like it should? She didn't hate Xander. She didn't want him to die. But she still didn't like him. They argued every time they talked, or just about. So why the hell wasn't she feeling more than just... annoyed at this? Miffed, even, to channel Wesley?

What the hell is wrong with me?!

December 5th, 2000

Sewers, Los Angeles

"I told you to bring something to smash the eggs with!" Cordelia snapped.

"You failed to mention they were this freaking big!" Xander gestured to one of the dozen eggs before them, each one two feet tall and a foot in diameter. They'd been laid by the demon they'd just slain - according to Wesley, it was a Mcrelash Demon, but to Cordelia it looked as if a snake and a spider had kids and then those kids merged with a freaking nightmare! It was huge, but only the fact that it was still groggy from waking up - apparently these things hibernated for decades, but recent sewer work had woken it up - had made killing the oversized thing doable.

Xander had done most of the work, but Cordelia's own arms burned from hacking at it with a sword and she'd nearly broken her ribs when a thrashing leg had knocked the wind out of her.

Probably fractured! Bruised at the very least. Wesley was busy chasing down some information for one of their paying cases, and Angel, being Angel, was too busy with Darla to come help on this one.

"And you didn't tell me their shells would be so thick and hard that the axe would get stuck in it! They're tougher than the demon's skin!" Xander grabbed at the handle of the axe, the blade stuck in there. He pulled, and Cordelia watched his arms work as he tried to get it free. He had been wearing a flannel button up over a sleeveless shirt, but with the flannel covered in the glow-in-the-dark pus/blood/whatever of the Mcrelash, he'd ditched it, and Cordelia had a much better look at his back and arms working as he finally yanked the axe out of the egg, stumbling back, nearly hitting her.

"Watch it!" Cordelia hissed, stepping away.

Xander just rolled his eyes, setting the axe down. "How the hell are we going to break these?"

"We could go back for a hammer or something?" Cordelia suggested.

"Maybe," Xander shook his head. "I don't like that idea." He looked at the egg, the thick shell, barely harmed by the axe. "I could keep whacking at it with the axe, eventually it'll crack, but that's a waste of time too." Moving forward, Xander crouched down and grabbed the egg around the middle, lifting it with apparent ease.

"What are you going to do? Take them to the hotel one by one and use a hammer there?" Cordelia rolled her eyes. Is he just showing off the Slayer strength?

"Nope." Xander lifted the egg over his head, which definitely seemed to be straining him a little, but only just - how heavy were these things? - and then chucked it at the other eggs. It crashed into them, smashing apart, spilling goop and Cordelia could glimpse a bit of what was probably an embryonic demon in the dim lighting. The egg it hit had also partially broken.

"When in doubt, scramble your eggs," Xander chuckled, picking up another, as Cordelia rolled her eyes. Xander's love of terrible jokes was never going to change.

She was just glad Xander didn't see the smile that started to form on her face before she realized what she was doing.

December 12th, 2000

Hyperion Hotel, Los Angeles

"Just take your shirt off already, will you?" Xander asked, rolling his eyes as he opened up the first-aid kit. "You did see me topless a few months ago, after all, so-"

"Not like it was on purpose!" Cordelia snapped, but she pulled her shirt off - bloody and cut up as it was, it wasn't really something she could keep wearing anyway.

Cordelia didn't normally go on the actual 'go and kill the demon' part of the job, or the visions, but this had been an all hands on deck situation that had even dragged Angel away from Darla for a little bit.

And it really had been all hands on deck. They'd had demons, vampires, idiots playing around with forces they didn't understand, tons of edged weaponry and from the business card they'd found on one of the said idiots, Wolfram and Hart had been involved too, even if just a little.

In the end, the idiots were alive - apart from a couple that got drained by the vamps - the vamps were dusted or on the run, and the demon, some big thing with more teeth, eyes and tentacles than she had wanted to count, had been killed and/or banished back to whatever hell dimension it had come from.

And along the way, she'd gotten a bite on her leg - and a cut on her upper arm, and more bruising to go with what her ribs had gotten a week ago. I'm not a vampire, or a Slayer, I am not cut out to keep taking this kind of abuse!Next time, whatever it was, she was staying at the hotel, Cordelia resolved. Or just going home. She dealt with head-splitting migraines that came with nightmarish fever dreams, wasn't that enough?

Xander moved a chair in front of hers, sitting down and opening an antiseptic wipe. "You know the drill, this is going to sting a little." Cordelia nodded, biting her lip, holding back as he started cleaning her cut. Xander let out a low hiss of his own, "God, Cordy, this looks pretty deep." Sure, state the obvious.

"Somehow, that stings more than getting cut in the first place." Cordelia grumbled. Xander was close, too close now, and here she was, shirtless (she was still wearing a bra) right in front of him. She took a slow breath. "Why are you the one doing this?" She tried to ask casually, not wanting to sound like -

Like she was ungrateful (she wasn't), or that - she was bothered by this, because she wasn't - She wasn't!

But Wesley could have handled this, and - and it would have been easier to be shirtless while he patched her up!

And just why is that, Cordelia? Cordelia banished that thought from her head. She had every right to be uncomfortable being vulnerable like this around Xander!

"Angel got a sword through his stomach, and I voted for helping you rather than him." Xander said calmly. "I may not hate him anymore, but I'd still rather not patch him up."

"...yeah, that's fair." Cordelia sighed, "He's the worst patient, you know. Can't stop moving when you try to patch a hole in his chest." Cordelia chuckled as Xander finished cleaning the cut, and opened the antibiotic ointment, putting some on a Q-tip.

Xander chuckled as well, "Then I definitely lucked out. Hold still," he added, biting his own lower lip for a moment - Cordelia couldn't take her eyes away from it for a long moment, her cheeks burning. She looked away.

She was - she was very very aware of Xander, how close he was, his movement, his arm reaching past her -

"So. How is Dawn?" Cordelia asked, the first thought of what to ask, something, anything that wouldn't be starting an argument - not the time - that could be a distraction.

"What?" Xander paused, staring at her, mouth open for a moment, hand stilled, halfway through applying the ointment.

"Dawn? Little sister to a blonde Slayer we both know? Brown hair?" Cordelia raised an eyebrow. "How is she?"

"Why are you - I know who she is, Cordelia, I'm just - you never ask about how things are going in Sunnydale."

"Because I usually don't care. I... I respect Buffy, but she's not my friend, I'm sure as hell not Willow's friend, Giles never really had time for me... I don't really miss anyone... except kinda Dawn." She shrugged and got a 'hey, hold still' from Xander for her trouble before going on, "I mean, she was dressing like me and stuff mostly because of her crush on you, but... she actually came to me for fashion advice, and life advice and all that." She tilted her head to the side a little, away from her injured shoulder.

"It was nice."

Xander looked at her for a moment, staring with an unusual intensity. His eyes - Faith's eyes, though she was thinking of Xander's body as 'Faith's' less and less everyday, for obvious reasons - were the same shade, or damn close, as the ones of his... original body. She knew them well, from how much she'd seen them while they'd dated and -

Cordelia's breath caught a moment, and then Xander looked away.

"She's... she's good. As good as anyone can be, given that they live in Sunnydale, and their mom is recovering from surgery to remove a brain tumor." Xander said that pretty casually, but this was the first Cordelia had heard of it.

Though that isn't really - I mean, you never asked, Cordelia.

"Is Ms. Summers okay?" Cordelia asked, almost despite herself. "No complications or anything?" Cordy had only really interacted a few times with Buffy's mom, all said and done, usually when she was with Xander babysitting Dawn or otherwise over at Buffy's house, but she'd liked the woman. A more involved - and better - mom than her own parents, certainly. The whole 'kicking Buffy out of her house' thing aside, anyway. And she liked Joyce Summer's sense of style too.

"She's fine," Xander nodded, pulling back from Cordelia's arm and reaching into the first aid kit to get a bandage. "Buffy called after the surgery, or pretty close after. There was - there was a complication with some sort of weird alien-demon-thing, but she's fine."

Cordelia stared, "Weird alien-demon-thing?"

"It's Sunnydale. Nothing can go normally there." Xander pointed out.

Cordelia barked a small laugh. "True." Xander applied the bandage, and she ran a hand over it to make sure it was on firmly. "Thanks," she added softly. "I can take care of the bite on my leg."

"Sounds good. Do you want me to tell Dawn I said hi? Pass on your number?"

"Uhm..." Cordelia bit her lip. A direct connection to Sunnydale? That seemed... on the other hand... "Let me get back to you on the number, but sure, tell her I said hi." Xander nodded, leaving the room (not his actual room) they'd ducked into to do this.

December 20th, 2000

Alleyway, Los Angeles

"My God Xander, it wouldn't have killed you to just take the damn drink!" Cordelia snapped, stalking away from the idiot. "Let him flirt with you a little. You didn't have to do anything back, just don't draw attention to yourself!"

"Yeah, that's it, take a drink from a drug dealer, great idea!" Xander called after her, "And if I'd just started letting him flirt, I'd have given the whole game away in a heartbeat anyway!"

Cordelia pulled up short, inhaling sharply, rolling her eyes, "You didn't even try! You just had to not get us made and not screw it all up!" Cordelia stalked back towards him, glad there didn't seem to be any audience in this alleyway, because she was having it up to here with Xander. It was late, it was cold - for L.A. - and her feet hurt like hell thanks to the heels she was wearing, and Xander had quite possibly screwed up their case. In the three weeks since Xander had started filling in for Angel, she'd been dealing with his crap day in, day out.

I swear to god, I haven't had sixteen hours straight without having to deal with him!

She started brandishing her finger in Xander's face, watching him pull his head back, recoiling, "You had better hope that Wesley's lead pans out, or we've got no chance to find our client's property!"

"You were the one who wanted to try getting information from the guy subtly! He's a scumbag half-demon who sells drugs to kids and steals from little old ladies!" Xander shot back. "We could still have done that if you didn't insist on-"

"He's got four vampire bodyguards at all times, and he has legal cover from Wolfram and Hart! You go after him, you have the cops all over you!" Cordelia shot back. "Yes, he's scum, but our client hired us to get her stolen relics back, not clean up the streets of L.A!"

"Right, and that's the only thing that matters to you! Getting the job done and getting paid!" Xander snapped, no longer recoiling back. "So that's what you would have done then? Take the free drinks, let him flirt with you, maybe show him a bit of cleavage and you're golden!? I'm sorry, Cordy, but I don't work like that!"

"Honestly? I probably would have!" Cordelia snapped. "I've endured worse to solve a case," Like that fucking maid uniform for that cheating wife case Angel ruined for them. "And it wouldn't fucking kill you to use the fact that you're hot, Xander! I'm not saying sleep with the guy, or even kiss him! Just smile at his jokes and take the free drinks!"

Cordelia stepped closer to him without realizing what she was doing, getting into his face, "And whatever else, I wouldn't have grabbed his arm and tried to break it!"

"I didn't try to break his arm! He was trying to grab me! He didn't like me demanding he go away!" Xander pushed back, protesting.

"You don't tell the guy we're after to go away when he's coming right up to you, Xander! You deal with it! We were on the job!" Cordelia balled her hands into fists for a moment, inhaling sharply and loudly, opening her fists again as she kept going. "Cry me a fucking river. You're still the same useless impulsive dumbass you were in high school!"

"Impulsive dumbass? Really? Because I'm not willing to slut it up like you?!" Xander scoffed, "You-"

At Xander's comment, Cordelia snapped "You're still letting your dad decide everything for you!"

Xander's eyes blazed and he grabbed her shoulders, shoving her back - Cordelia nearly fell back, stumbling even so, catching herself. "What the fuck does that mean, Cordelia!?" Xander demanded, taking a closer step.

"You know exactly what it means, Xander! Your dad gave you shit for not being man enough for him all the time, and you spent half your time overcompensating for it! And here you are now, still so insecure in your fragile sense of masculinity that you couldn't just smile and shut up when the guy flirted with you! You had to push back, and keep pushing, and then nearly break his arm, getting us kicked out! You're lucky none of his goons drew their guns!"

"Fragile masculinity?! What the - That doesn't even - You -" Xander sputtered. "Like I said, unlike you, I didn't spend my whole freaking life preparing to whore myself out to whatever rich guy I could land!" Xander growled. "You say I haven't changed since high school!? Every single time I think maybe you've decided to give a shit about anyone that isn't yourself, you prove that you're the same shallow, cruel, vapid bitch you were in high school!"

That's twice he's saying shit like that to me! Seeing red, Cordelia stormed back up to him, reaching out to slap him, but Xander caught her wrist.

"You - if I'm the same person I was in High School, why the hell am I putting up with you, day in, day out! And why am I letting you stay at the Hyperion, for cheap!?" Cordelia demanded. Vapid and shallow, huh? Where the hell did Xander get off on that?! And vapid? What the hell, had he started using one of those word-a-day calendars? The idiot barely graduated!

"You, putting up with me?" Xander snorted, "I'm the one putting up with you, and your shit! And you're letting me stay at the Hyperion because you want money! Like I said, you're the same-"

"I'm sure as hell not the same! For one, I have more self-respect than to ever date you again!" Cordelia poked Xander in the chest with her free hand. "My god, what a fucking stupid move that was?! You weren't even that attractive," liar, "you were a horrible kisser," liar "your jokes were terrible," liar, "you were a loser with no redeeming features!" liar. "I'm still not sure what the hell I was thinking, but after the last three weeks of dealing with you, I can only realize how fucking lucky I was you cheated with Willow!"

"Oh, you wanna talk about when we dated?" Xander demanded, grabbing her other hand, holding both by the wrists, not letting her arms go, despite her tugging. "You weren't some perfect catch either, Cordy! You spend years making my life and the life of my best friends hell, and you have no idea the crap I caught for dating you! From my friends, your friends - and for what? Even once we were out as a couple to your friends, half the time you were ashamed to have me around! You dragged me to the mall every five seconds, I wasted how much money buying gifts for you and trying to take you out to the best I could manage? You spent every waking moment judging people - you were so fucking annoying at the best of times! And if you think I was a horrible kisser, maybe look in a mirror!" Xander let go of her wrists, pushing her back a pace as he stepped back as well.

"You - you!" Cordelia let out a strangled scream. "You don't get to- after everything you put me through-!"

"Yes, I screwed up, but you don't get to lord that over me forever!" Xander snapped. "And as far as mistakes go, it was the best mistake of my life!"

"You - you - Ass!" Cordelia spluttered

"Takes one to know one, Bitch!"

The next thing Cordelia knew, her lips were on Xanders, his lips were on hers, and they were clinging to each other like they were drowning.

Lips parting, Cordelia clawed at his shoulders, feeling Xader's lips part - her tongue pushed past, noting how different these lips felt, but how the kiss felt familiar all the same, and Xander clearly improved his kissing since they'd dated. God, this was - how was this allowed to feel so good?! This was unfair!

Her eyes snapped wide open as she realized what she was thinking, what she was doing. Letting out a yelp, she jumped back, gasping, face flushed, lips tingling, hearing Xander doing the same.

Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shi-

"What the hell did you-"

"Why did you-"

Cordelia wasn't even sure which of them was saying what, or if they were both taking at the same time - her cheeks were hot, Xander looked read - he stumbled back, hand pulling something out of his pocket - something metal and jangly hit her chest and fell to the asphalt as Xander turned and ran, mumbling something like 'I gotta go'.

Cordelia stood there, feeling paralyzed, her mind refusing to register what just happened, what the hell she'd just done, until she finally looked down and saw the keys to Xander's car there on the ground.

What.

The.

Hell?!