Majo Kon-ki The Marriage of Tanya the Witch
(The marriage chronicles of a witch)
Arc 4 - Goblet of Fire – part 5
December,AD 1994, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
As December arrived, Tanya finally managed to overcome her frustration regarding the outcome of the first task.
"The prize money would facilitate my emancipation but I am doing alright.I have a reliable source of income from dedicated fans who support me!" However, her events were limited to autographs and handshakes, it might be worth considering diversifying her 'fan service' to prevent her fans from getting bored.
'PRINCESS TANYA 'WUV' YOU ALL!' The image of herself saying those words while making heart gestures with her hands made her skin crawl.
"I-I will cross that bridge IF necessary!" Moreover, at the moment, she had other matters to occupy her thoughts.
"You don't think Dobby was the one who put your name on the goblet, do you?" Tanya asked Harry after he mentioned seeing the Malfoys' former house-elf working in the school.
"If it was him, he would've told me and hurt himself…" With a subtle gesture, Harry shot her a sidelong glance.
"… like he did when he admitted helping you to run away!"
"W-why bring that up? It was so long ago!"
Harry sighed hard.
"I don't get what you were doing in the old home of Voldemort's family. Do you really reckon he would be so stupid to hide in there?" Actually, Tanya was searching for his ring and it was indeed in that region.
"Then, I saw Visha…" Tanya shook her head to clear her mind from such unnecessarily sad thoughts.
"In any case, how did you meet Dobby here? The elves usually work out of everyone's eyes. They stay in the kitchen during the day and only come out at night to clean."
"How do you think?! Hermione! She's obsessed with that spew thing! And she made the elves angry with us!" Unaware of Harry's complaints, the girl in question was helping Ron with the transfiguration lesson.
"Well, as long as they don't go on strike…" Tanya still hoped Hermione's new hobby could distract Harry from seeking her out. Especially looking as her defenses against his advances were weakening at each new kiss they shared.
"And I have no idea what I am doing with Christmas break!" If she decides to return to Sirius' place, she'll be alone with Harry for approximately two weeks. And if she stays at Hogwarts, she'll have the vast castle nearly empty with a very affectionate boy!
"I didn't want to resort to this, I am accepting the Lovegoods invitation-"
"The yule ball is approaching…" At professor McGonagall's declaration, Tanya rolled her eyes.
"Please, don't tell me this is mandatory! Shit! I really don't want to put on a dress!"
"This is a chance for us all to, err, let our hair down…" The disapproving tone in the transfiguration teacher's voice made Tanya aware of another disturbing fact.
"A party with teenagers… HORNY teenagers!" Hearing giggles from blushing girls and seeing naughty smiles from a few boys confirmed her fears.
Tensely, she turned her vision to Harry.
"Ugh! You don't wanna go, do you?!" Tanya revels at his audible groan.
"Sorry, I don't dance and those things are so boring!"
"Phew! Thank you for giving a good reason to skip-"
"Potter! What are you saying?" Professor McGonagall called him out.
"All the champions must attend and open the ball with a dance of their own."
"I knew it!"
"Professor, I can't dance!"
"I can help you with that, concentrate your efforts in getting yourself a partner."
"Huh? I am going with Tanya."
"You two can't go together, no champions are allowed to take each other."
"WHAT?!" It was Tanya's turn to protest.
"The heck is with this woman?! How much bad news is she going to give me today?!" She could barely control Harry as he is, another boy would present a series of new unpredictable variables.
"W-what if I lose control- Wait, calm down and think!" She took a breath to sort out her thoughts.
"The answer to this problem is to havea meek boy escort me! Preferably, one who is afraid of me!" And she knew who was the best candidate.
Tanya immediately searched him out but lesson was over for some time and she and Harry were the last remaining in the classroom.
"Tanya, I can't believe we- where are you rushing off to?"
"To ask Neville Longbottom to be my partner!"
"Ehhh?!" Tanya just left Harry there with a stupefied face.
"He is probably in the common room!" Tanya rushed to the Gryffindor's dorms only to be greeted with a surprising sight as she arrived at the fat lady portrait.
"Ah! There she is!" It seemed the news of the ball had traveled fast as she saw the entire entrance to Gryffindor common room full of suitors.
"Princesse Tanya! Allow me to escort you to ze ball!" Again, Luc was very quick in taking her hands.
"I am starting to think this boy was merely faking all his shyness!"
"Hands off! I was here first!" She couldn't say anything as he was unceremoniously shoved away by another boy.
"Princess Tanya would never go with you! Not with her number one fan right here!" It was quite vexing for her to realize that many in the crowd were her fans during the autograph events.
"In other words, I painted a mark on my body!" Now she was reaping the rewards of her popularity.
"Err, sorry guys. I decided I am going with-"
"Number one fan?! You?! Pff! I have known Tanya far longer than anyone here!"
"Who are you?" Tanya at least, didn't recognize the blabbering fool.
"So, what? Being a Gryffindor too, I am more deserving of her company!"
"Can any of you listen to me? I already have a partner in mind-"
"Piss off! As if she would hang out with you, you wimp!" Tension was growing by the second and it didn't help that this last boy took out his wand, encouraging the others to do the same.
"No one is taking ze princesse from moi!" Luc Millefeuille dropped all pretenses of civility, his eyes showing a wild glint.
"Hey, hey! They are not going to kill each other over me, are they?!"
"Hello Tanya." All came to a standstill as Cedric Diggory spoke to her. Even Luc's courage wavered in the presence of the handsome boy.
"I was thinking that maybe we could go together to the ball. What do you say?"
Perhaps it would be for the best to let him escort her, it would avoid an unnecessary blood bath, however…
"No, thank you!" Without any hesitation, Tanya cut him off shortly.
"I-I see… sob!" Swallowing his tears, he quickly left.
"I'm truly sorry! If I find it hard to resist a sweet boy like Harry, I shudder to think about the impact a handsome mature young man might have on me!"
"HAH! Do you see?! Tanya would rather go with ME than any handsome boy!"
"You?! She meant me! You fat-ass!"
"How dare you, you cretin!"
This was the last straw. Tanya barely had time to take cover as curses and hexes began to fly everywhere.
"You can count on a bunch of overly excited boys to create such a ridiculous mess!"
"Whoa! What is going on here?!" Ron asked her the moment he arrived.
"T-they are fighting over the right to take me to the ball…"
"Hum…maybe I should go with the first to fall over, the weakest." If said loser ended with an ugly scar it would also help her greatly.
"O-oi! What with the smirking face?! Are you enjoying this?!"
"Am I?!" Touching her own face, Tanya realized Ron was right. Despite being a pacifist, she found the concept of men fighting over her quite appealing.
"Is this another symptom of being a teenage girl?! No, I'd rather think my capitalist soul was inflamed by the prospect of being so sought up for a 'post'!"
"The bloody hell is your problem?!" Unexpectedly, Ron shouted at her.
"Everything has to end in violence with you! Gnomes, pixies, acromantulas… now you throw blokes at each other's necks for amusement?!"
"What did you say?!" At her glare, Ron backed out.
"Eek! N-no! S-s-sorry!"
"Ho? Lost all bravery, you weak coward- wait! Weak? Coward?!" She stared hard at him and watched as he cowered further.
"If it was just the other day, he would be over there competing for me. It seems Harry is right, Ron is 'cured' of his crush!" And at the most opportune occasion.
"ALL OF YOU! KNOCK IT OFF!" Hearing her shout, all the boys stopped in their tracks.
"I decided I am going with Ron Weasley to the ball!"
""""""""""WHAT?!"""""""""" There were collective sounds of disbelief. Ron's, being the most vocal of all.
Ron swore he tried to find a silver lining in his current predicament. He considered how he had secured a date to the ball with seemingly little effort. However, in the days that followed, wherever place he walked, there came the weight of people's contemptuous glances.
The blokes muttered about the unfairness of him taking Tanya to the ball simply because he was her boyfriend's best friend. Surprisingly, the girls were even more venomous in their remarks. They openly debated in front of him how a princess deserves someone better and predicted he would inevitably embarrass her.
"Sob! Is this what Harry had to go through?" He couldn't help but contemplate how this is karma in action. All the envy and jealousy he had directed towards his friend returned with a vengeance.
"You were telling the truth, right?" And speaking of his mate…
"When you told me you don't fancy Tanya any longer?!" Harry was pestering him non stop to make sure he wasn't going to make any passes at his girlfriend.
"I told you I don't!" And now that Ron thought back, he wondered if he wasn't under a love potion himself.
"A tiny little snog, and I lost my mind! Honestly, we blokes can be such weaklings…" Then again, he remembers his mother giving him 'the talk' and explaining how this would happen.
A shiver ran through him with twice the intensity, one part for recollecting his mother's words from that day, and the other for the undeniable truth in them.
"Brr! A bit more and I could have ended at a blonde acromantula's mercy! Oh, I am so glad it's you, the one she wants to devour!"
"Hehehe! And You can bet I want her to devour me! Especially with those soft lips of hers…"
"Yeah…" Ron went full daydream mode. In his mind, he saw in slow motion, the moment Tanya's lips made contact with his own-
"Ron!"
"Eh? W-what?"
"… you are drooling."
"Ah!" With cheeks flushed, Ron wiped his mouth clean.
"Ron… you sure you don't fancy MY girlfriend?!"
"Argh! Ever since the dragon, my fear of her has doubled, alright?!" That was the truth. If Harry didn't stop Ron, his fantasy, the same as the other occasions, would develop in him expecting a kiss only to be eaten alive by a giant blonde spider.
"What about you? Found a partner?"
Harry shook his head.
"Be fast, mate. Or all the best ones will all be taken."
"Hmpf! The best was already taken by you!"
Ron blinked at that.
"Hey, Tanya is the most popular girl of our year, perhaps the entire school, and she is going with me!" This cheerful thought would remain with him until the fateful night, crashing down at the reminder of his attire.
"Be honest! Does it still have the appearance of a dress?" Ron asked, showing his 'traditional' robes after severing a few laces off.
Harry, Dean, Seamus and Neville were doing their best to not laugh.
"Think of it this way, mate. You are taking a princess to the ball, it is fair that you also resemble a princess yourself!" Seamus' joke was the final straw, and they all erupted in laughter.
Ron couldn't help feeling he was the most unfortunate of all. People were making fun of him, his dress robes were rubbish and he would have the most popular girl solely for the duration of the opening dance.
Next, he had to put up with his dorm mates showing off how attractive their dates had gotten for the ball. Fortunately, it was brief as Seamus and Dean quickly headed off with Parvati and Lavender, followed by Neville and his sister.
"You look nice, Luna." Ron reckoned Harry said as demanded by manners as, truth be told, Loony was particularly weirder with the spangled silver robe she was wearing.
"At least I'm not the one going to the ball with the weirdest girl." Or so he hoped. Who can tell what sort of garments the dress-hating Tanya would wear.
"Huh? And where is Tanya? I also don't see Hermione."
"I don't know about Hermione…"
"The poor girl must not have found a partner and is sulking in her room."
"… but Tanya is with professor Snape. He demanded for you to pick her up in his office."
"Well, when it rains, it bloodypours!"
"… for the first time I am happy she isn't going with me…" He heard Harry murmur.
"Blimey! He's gonna be tough on me to keep me in line around Tanya!"
"Definitely! Well, good luck, Ron! Let's go Luna."
"W-what if he curses me?! Can't you two come with me…?" Quickly they left him alone.
"Oh, bloody hell!"
"What is this?!" Snape asked the moment he opened the door for Ron.
"What is what?"
"Those clothes! If we can even call them that, which you are wearing!"
"Sorry for being poor! This is all I have!"
"You are not taking Tanya, resembling an effeminate beggar from last century!"
"I guess taking out the laces didn't solve the issue…" Ron thought, grunting.
"T-then what do you reckon I should do? The ball is about to start!"
"Fortunately, I anticipated your lack of fashionable sense!" With those words, the professor turned to a drawer and pulled something from it.
"Here! Take those!"
Ron stared in disbelief. The robes Snape presented him were similar to the ones Harry was wearing, the biggest difference is that they were a dark shade of indigo.
"S-so cool! Can I really take these?!"
"Would I be offering if I didn't want you to wear it?! Hurry up! Tanya must be almost ready!"
Happily, Ron changed into the new robes.
"Tell me, Weasley, how do you feel?" Snape asked, placing him in front of a mirror.
"Like a completely different bloke is staring back at me! Thank you so much, professor!"
"You are welcome… by the way, there are some things we must discuss. Starting with, what are your intentions towards Tanya?" The professor's question reminded him that Snape was looking for reassurance he wasn't going to act 'improper' with Tanya.
"Just to dance and only once. After that, she is going to Harry, while I will probably end the rest of the night all alone."
"And are you fine with it? Wouldn't you rather have her all to yourself?"
"Excuse me?!"
"What I'm getting at is… Weasley, do you harbor affection for Tanya?"
Ron was shocked at the absurdity of Snape's words.
"I reckon I'd best be plain with him, or he could get the wrong idea."
"Course I do! I spent all summer dreaming about the kisses we had! If she wasn't Harry's girlfriend, I would have jumped on her!" Once more, Ron was shocked. This time at the absurdity of his own words. He admitted something he was very ashamed and afraid of other people finding out.
"Now that I said it, I felt so silly for being embarrassed!" Unexpectedly, instead of being angry, Snape smiled.
"In that case, here's your chance! A couple of months ago, Tanya began displaying signs she might be moving past her infatuation on Potter!"
Ron highly doubted it was the case. Not with the way the girl always cared about her boyfriend's well being. Take the ball for instance, Harry never managed to get himself a partner, truth is, he didn't even try. In the end, it was Tanya who asked Luna to accompany him.
"… ever since, I've been patiently waiting for the perfect opportunity. The thing is, I needed the right boy to come along."
"The right boy? Do you mean me?"
"Weasley, I needed someone worthy of Tanya! A boy who is handsome, brave, smart, astute…"
"P-please, professor! You are making me blush!" Actually, Ron didn't want for him to stop as it gave the boy a certain sense of superiority hearing Snape of all people showering him with compliments.
"… but the first IMBECILE she picked from a rubbish bin will have to do!"
Ron facepalmed himself.
"Should have known!"
"Indeed, Weasley. You may be ordinary, wimp, dumb and with infinitely many more flaws…"
"Hey!"
"… still, you at least don't have the worst flaw of all!"
"Which is…?"
"You are not Potter!"
"Again, I should have known! This git hates Harry so much he is offering help out of spite!"
"I will go down right to business: maintain her a safe distance from Potter, all the while giving her a great night and starting tomorrow, I will aid you in winning her over!"
It was a fantastic proposal, and if it had been a few months earlier, he might have accepted.
"Sorry to disappoint you, she is too much of an acromantula for my taste-" Suddenly, he felt weird. Typically, the mere thought of a spider would send shivers down his spine.
"Did I just get over my fear of acromantulas?!" And, by extension, he wasn't afraid of Tanya either.
"I mean, Harry is my friend! I wouldn't-" Wouldn't what? Somehow, he wasn't afraid of damaging his friendship with Harry.
"Stop hesitating, Weasley! This is the night to turn your dreams into reality as well." Snape said while giving him a reassuring pat on the shoulder.
"You see, I am supposed to be watching out for any sort of 'naughty behavior' tonight…" Then, he came closer to whisper in Ron's ear.
"… although, if you refrain from doing anything against her will, I may be willing to forgive one or two 'bushes', if you catch my meaning!"
"Are you giving me a free pass to shag her?" At the casual way the word 'shag' was mentioned, Snape did become a little flustered. Yet, Ron wasn't worried.
"I have the sensation that nothing can hurt me!"
"D-don't get ahead of yourself! Children shouldn't-"
"Argh!I can't walk with these h-heels!" And speaking of the she-devil, she chose this moment to emerge from the anteroom.
"OHHH!" Ron was awed. She was wearing strapless and sleeveless blood-red robes that seemed more like a dress gown. He also noticed her makeup, which, combined with her serious expression, made her look older, even though she was relatively short.
"Tanya! You are gorgeous! You are so pretty that I want to snog you!"
"Huh?"
"… did I say that out loud? Well, never mind! Do you mind if we take a detour to the closest broom closet?"
"Stop joking around! Come, we are going to be late!" Ron experienced shivers as their skin made contact when she pulled him by the hand.
"You two have a WONDERFUL night! And keep in mind what I said to you, Weasley!"
"I will think about it!" Who was Ron kidding? He had already agreed with Snape's terms.
"Eek!" Tanya shrieked as she, for the umpteenth time, almost fell over because of her heels.
"Hahaha! Your clumsiness makes you even cuter!"
She ignored her partner so busy cursing her present situation.
"Why?! Oh, why the hell do women use these?! There is no logic in elevated shoes!"
"To look pretty, of course! And it's fantastic on you!"
Once more, she chooses to ignore Ron's suck up attitude in favor of reminding herself of some of the many reasons she hated so much to be inside a girl's body.
"And this dress is seriously throwing off my balance! ARGH! I'm tempted to tear it apart to set myself free!"
"Wish me to help you?"
"…!" This comment finally crossed the line.
"I have been meaning to ask… what has gotten into you? You are acting weird- weirder than normal." He made her recall Harry before the first task, so full of confidence.
"No, it's not confidence, it's fearlessness?"
"I reckon having the loveliest girl as my partner is the boost I've been waiting for!"
She let out an irritated grunt.
"So much for a meek partner!"
"Ron, give me a break or- aah!" She slipped and Ron caught her before she could fall. Again, the damn high heels were to blame.
"I repeat! I can't fathom what women see in- THE HECK?!" While in his embrace, she felt the boy sniffing her.
"Oh, you smell so wonderful!"
"A-a-aren't you ashamed for acting so gross?!"
"To tell the truth, no."
"I'm really beginning to contemplate terminating your life- Hmm?" Tanya realized a distinctive smell coming from him as well. And that his clothes were a little damp.
"… Ron, aren't those clothes a bit beyond your budget?"
"Cool, huh? Professor Snape gave it to me."
"Professor Snape was nice to you?!" She was starting to suspect something fishy.
"Oh, no. He reckons I should make a good impression in front of you, so you might consider being with me instead of Harry."
"Severus Snape, you traitor!" Now, she was dead certain Professor Snape slipped some kind of potion or draught into Ron's robes.
"As if I don't have enough problems! Listen, Ron. You were charmed."
"I know. By your beauty…"
"No, stupid! What I mean-"
"Miss Degurechaff! How good to see you!" Tanya stopped in her tracks hearing her name being called in a discreet Russian accent.
"Remember me? From Witch Weekly?"
"How could I ever forget?!" It took all of her strength to not show horror on her face. In front of her, was the photographer who physically was a perfect copy of LORIA!
"H-hello!"
"I want to thank you for the picture that time! Never before has one of mine won a prize…" Tanya tried her best to keep her composure. She had to cling on Ron to not lose her footing so much her legs trembled.
"… and I will be taking shots at the ball but to not get in the way, we from the press will be wearing these. Invisibility cloaks. Think of me and smile if you see a flash! See you!"
Tanya watched mortified as he wore the cloak and disappeared from her view. You would think his vanishing act would make her feel better.
"H-h-he can be ANYWHERE!"
And to make things worse, as it always happens in these cases, her trauma activated the block on her magic. Completely terrified, she clings harder on Ron.
"Tanya, could you not hold me so tightly? I won't be able to contain myself."
"I-I can't help it!" It was her honest answer.
"Well, don't say I didn't warn you."
"Ah?!" Ron swiftly spun Tanya, pinning her against the nearest wall.
"W-what are you doing?!"
"Told you what was going to happen."
"Eh- mmmppphhh!" True to his word, he kissed her passionately.
"N-NO!" Tanya panicked. If she lost her mind, Ron, under the enchantment, might forget about the ball and lead her to the nearest room and finally turn her into a woman.
"I have to free myself! Before I succumb to my… hormones…?" At once, she stopped struggling and just let the kiss happen.
"So? How was it?" After a whole minute had passed, he withdrew and inquired with a silly grin on his face.
Tanya stared at him dazed.
"… mind if we do it again?"
"N-n-not in the least!" Eagerly, he went back to her lips. She could tell he was giving his all and yet…
"… nothing. I don't feel a thing." She wasn't losing control as it happens with Harry and neither was her PTSD acting.
"Why? If it was Harry, I would be returning the kiss with the same passion…" Perhaps she considered Ron to be unattractive?
"No, in the matter of looks, Ron is below Harry by a small margin- hey!" While she was focused conducting her experiment, Ron felt brave enough to grope her.
"OWOWOW!" A hard pinch in the offending hand was all it took to subdue him.
"Wish it was this easy with Harry."
"Who gave you permission to touch me?!"
"Okay, okay! Blimey, I promise to behave while snogging you in the future!"
"Don't talk as if we will repeat the dose. This was the last time."
"Ehhhh?! I-I though we were together… you even asked me to do it again…"
"I was merely conducting an experiment."
"An experiment?! C-could it be… you were comparing me to Harry?!"
Ron stared at her with wide-open eyes, appearing as though he'd been pierced in the heart.
"I didn't pass your test, did I…? Couldn't fill Harry's spot in your heart…"
"More like you failed to bring out the woman inside me." This was a relief as she doesn't need to fear the other boys.
"Well, I have no more regrets, I will move on! And know what? I am getting myself a girlfriend before the night ends!" Ron's bold declaration was met by deaf ears as Tanya was too busy with her own problems.
"Though, now I have a new mystery: whythe fuckHarry is the only one capable of driving me horny crazy?!"
"Miss Degurechaff! There you are! Took you long enough!"
"Finally!" Harry thought to himself when Professor McGonagall announced the arrival of his girlfriend.
"I was beginning to think they had run away together- WHOA!" Harry lost his breath at the stunning sight of Tanya.
"I am used to her being pretty on the cute side but today, she looks so mature… so alluring!" Harry simply let himself be entranced by this lovely visage.
"… see the princess…"
"… so hot…"
"… wanna dance with her…"
"… dance? I'd rather do some other stuff…"
Harry's moment of awe abruptly ended as the crowd's murmurs reached his ears.
"The nerve of those sods, ogling someone else's girlfriend with those dirtyeyes!" Harry was seriously considering practicing his conjunctivitis curse on them, even if he had already fought the dragon.
"… sucks she won't give us a single glance…"
"… not with the handsome bloke she is with…"
"Handsome bloke? Which- AH?" Harry noticed the good-looking boy with Tanya.
"W-why is she clinging to him so strongly?! I-is she blushing?!"
"Ouch! Harry, my hand!"
"Ah! Sorry Luna." Harry apologized as he accidentally put too much strength in his hold.
"Say… do you recognize who is with Tanya?"
"Of course I do, he is Ron."
"WHAT?! That is Ron?!" The pretty girl accompanying Krum said, voicing Harry's exact thoughts.
"I need to confess, this is a new trick of the nargles…" Harry paid no attention to Luna's usual fantasies. He was focused on applying as much mana as possible to enhance his hearing.
"… Mr Weasley?! I could barely recognize you!" His head of house confirmed Luna's statement to be accurate.
"From where did he get those nice clothes?" And it wasn't merely the new robes, Harry sensed a newfound air of confidence about Ron, unlike anything he had ever seen before.
"Now, all the champions must- Mr Weasley! Miss Degurechaff! Where are you going?!"
"Duh! To have our dance, professor." Ron declared as a matter of fact, leading Tanya to the center of the hall.
"There is an order to- Mr Weasley!"
Ron was fully ignoring the teacher. Then, as if owning the place, he gestured to the band to start playing. The ones who he believed to be the Weird Sisters glanced at Dumbledore's direction. The headmaster, despite his confusion, shrugged and conjured a raised platform. A slow, mournful tune began to play.
Harry watched in astonishment as Ron expertly waltzed with Tanya. His girlfriend seemed to be doing very little; it was the red-haired who was taking charge and performing brilliantly.
"… so dreamy…"
"… I can't take my eyes off him…"
"… such a hottie…"
"Ron is POPULAR?!" As girls showered his best friend with numerous compliments, Harry grew increasingly restless (and also infuriated) with each move they made together.
"The way he kept looking at her… it's as if they're lovers on the verge of a kiss!"
He was taken by an overwhelming sense of relief when the music finally ended. The hall filled with applause as Ron bowed gracefully while Tanya was wobbling.
"We were supposed to eat first! I told him there was a proper order!" Like him, Professor McGonagall was fuming but for a completely different reason.
"Err, professor. What about us?" Krum's pretty partner asked.
"The opening dance has come to a close! You may proceed as you see fit!" She turned and walked in the opposite direction, clearly annoyed.
"Well, Harry, this is where we part ways." Luna declared.
"You are already leaving?!"
"With so many mistletoes around, I am afraid the nargles are particularly vicious tonight! I reckon I am safer in my room. See ya."
"Bugger…" Not that he was anticipating dancing with Luna, he just felt he wasted Tanya's effort to find him a partner.
"Doesn't matter! The only person I wish to dance with is- GAH!" In his distraction over Luna's abrupt departure, Harry almost didn't witness Ron KISSING Tanya's hand!
"It was wonderful, my lady! Thank you!" If Harry was furious before, now he's absolutely livid!
Regrettably, while Harry was trying to come up with a hex to permanently seal Ron's lips, Lavender Brown reached him first.
"Ron! You were amazing! I can't believe how incredibly you danced! A-and you are so handsome tonight!"
"I commend you for your good taste, my dear. Tell me, fancy dancing with me? I am in need of a new partner."
Harry couldn't help staring with wide-open eyes as the two walked away. Lavender giggling while her cheeks turned a deep shade of scarlet.
"Perhaps it's someone using polyjuice…? Anyway, as long as he isn't with Tanya-"
"H-Harry! Help!" Once more, a bloke took advantage of his distraction. This time to snatch his girlfriend.
"Hey! Where are you taking her?"
"Huh? To dance." Seamus Finnegan answered as if it was the most natural thing.
"Ron took my date, this means I have dibs on his partner."
"What?! Ron! Give back Seamus'- EHHH?!" Harry exclaimed seeing Ron fully snogging Lavender in front of everyone.
"What the hell is going on?!"
"Don't fret Harry. I won't snog your gal, alright?"
"W-wait a moment!" Tanya called out disgruntled.
"Aren't you forgetting to ask for MY permission?"
"Oh, right! Gotta be courteous with a princess, I forgot." Next, Seamus knelt in front of Tanya.
"Would your highness grant me the honor of the next dance?"
"Definitely-" Then, suddenly Tanya blinked and literally threw herself into the other boy's arms.
"T-Tanya?!"
"Feh! As you can see, the lady made her choice!" And very smug, Seamus pulled his girlfriend to the dance floor.
Harry stood there, thunderstruck. Eventually, he found a seat and decided to wait until their dance was over.
Unfortunately, the same scene would repeat all over again. As soon as one music finished, Ron would steal another bloke's date, who by his part, would feel the right to take Harry's girlfriend.
At this point, Ron had snogged at least half the girls from their year while Tanya danced with the same amount of partners.
"She's absolutely breathtaking, and I can't even get near her!" Harry sulkily watched as Tanya danced with Neville-
"H-hold on! Wasn't Neville's partner, Ginny?!" Full of apprehension, Harry turned to see Ron NOT kissing his own sister. Actually, he was with one of the Patil sisters, the same one he had been with from the last dance.
"Phew! What a relief- Hold on a sec!" Exasperatedly, Harry made his way toward his girlfriend.
"Neville, can I ask why you are dancing with Tanya?" Startled, the other boy blushed deeply.
"W-well, Michael Corner invited Ginny to dance, and since Tanya was trading partners so much I reckoned you wouldn't mind- !" Harry presumed his frown must have been quite menacing, as the other Gryffindor promptly turned and walked away.
"FINALLY!" Without further ado, Harry pulled his girlfriend to him.
"I thought we wouldn't ever- Tanya?" Her eyes were turning so fast that they seemed to turn into small whirlwinds.
"It flashes… it spins… the light is spinning…" He figured she had been twirling around for too long. He held her steady until she regained her balance.
"H-huh? W-where am I…?"
"Where you rightfully belong, in my arms!" He hugged her strongly and shut out anything around.
"You are so beautiful! The prettiest girl of all!" Now, he could voice all the feelings he had been holding back all night.
"Please. Spare me from the sweet talking! I got plenty from Ron!"
"HE WHAT?! What the- what is going on with Ron?! Isn't he afraid I may end up KILLING him?!"
"Not to mention all the other blokes whose dates he stole!"
"As a matter of fact, no. Professor Snape put in his clothes a potion designed to rid him of his fears."
"Is this all some foul scheme to spoil our night?!"
"No, this was his attempt to match me with another boyfriend."
"That son of a-! Please, tell me you aren't going to defend him!"
"You can bet I won't! As soon as I can, I will show him- YIKES!" Harry was puzzled when Tanya flinched, wrapping her arms around his body and burying her head in his chest after a light flashed.
"Huh? From where are all of these coming from?" More than once he had noticed flashes of light coming from nowhere.
"It feels like there are photographers everywhere, but I don't see anyone"
"Is something wrong? Did anything scare you?" He asked, full of worry.
"I-i-ignore it! Just hold me tight!"
"As you wish!" Her words brought such joy to Harry that he instantly forgot about anything else, including her distress.
"Come on! Let's dance until our feet fall over!"
"What? No! I can't dance anymore!"
"Are you tired? You have been dancing non-stop with all those blokes."
"I'm not merely tired… I'm absolutely wiped out!"
"I see, want to rest over a table?"
"No, I want to leave this place, I mean, I need fresh air. Let's go over… there."
Harry tilted his head in bewilderment as Tanya pointed to a broom closet.
"What she meant by-!" Then it clicked in place. Fred and George mentioned how some girls thought of ball nights as special to have their FIRST TIMES!
"Tanya, gulp, y-you understand- I mean, i-if we go in that broom closet… there is no turning back, right?!"
"Broom closet?! I thought it was the exit to the gardens!" Harry could only smile understandingly as she offered an excuse due to her shyness.
"I hope someday she will cast aside her embarrassment and tell me what is truly in her mind." In any case, he loved her as she is.
"Don't look at me so condescendingly! I merely- What is with this bug?" Harry discreetly suppressed a chuckle as Tanya used the excuse of shooing away a beetle flying around her as a way to graciously change the subject.
"Doesn't it's buzzing sound incredibly similar to a mock to you too?"
"Hum? Oh, yeah! Anything you say."
"I told you to stop with the condescending act- Aah?" Harry caught Tanya as she seemingly lost her footing.
"That is it! I am done with those heels! I'd rather be barefoot- mmpphh!" Harry raised her chin and kissed her. By now, he could quickly identify her signals and act accordingly.
"Potter! Degurechaff!" Harry pulled away at professor McGonagall's call.
"Off to bed! The ball ended a while ago!"
"Eh?" Harry noticed they were the last ones remaining in the entire hall.
"What a downer! I was starting to enjoy…"
"What an awful night…" Tanya thought as she dragged her worn out feet through the stairs to the girls dorm. Unlike Lavender and Parvati, she wasn't in the mood to sit down in the common room to review the night's top ten best moments.
"Ngh! Why did that photographer have to show up?" Tanya was so terrified by having him around that a flash of a camera was enough to make her instinctively seek protection with the first person in front of her.
This resulted in her dancing non-stop the whole ball. She'd twirled with nearly ten different boys before sharing a long, lingering kiss with Harry. It got to the point where Professor McGonagall had to step in and literally kick them out.
"Yeah, again I let Harry do whatever he pleases with me! Is it so bad that I am getting used to it…?" On the bright side, she found out this happens only with him.
"The problem is that one boy is already one too many!" In any case, the night was finally over and there won't be any new issues-
"Sob! Sniffle!" She noticed Hermione in her pajamas sobbing in the dark.
"Did she get stood up? Or didn't get a date in the first place?" Tanya was curious but not that curious. She slowly approached her bed, pretending she saw nothing.
"I just want to sleep-"
"Tanya? Is that you?"
"Crap!" She understood right away how it was going to end.
"Y-yes, it's me. Something t-troubling you?"
"No… nothing."
"Really? Then-"
"Did you see Ron?! That degenerated CASANOVA?"
"She knows about Ron?"
"He went around snogging every girl he could get his hands on! It's an indecency, honestly!"
"Hmm? W-was it that much?" Tanya was so exhausted, she could barely pay any attention.
"You tell me! Lavender, Hannah, Suzan, Lisa, Isobel, Sue, Mandy, Megan, Daphne and Parvati!"
"She kept track?!" Tanya was wondering if Hermione wasn't also using an invisibility cloak to spy on Ron.
"ARGH! If Mrs Weasley hears about- His mother! Oh, I am sending her an owl right now!" As Hermione dashed out of their room, Tanya was about to point out she wouldn't be able to leave the castle at this late hour.
"YAWN!Forget…" She was too tired to care. Slowly, she laid down and closed her eyes…
"TANYA!"
"GAH! What?" Jolted by Hermione's abrupt call, Tanya leaped out of bed.
"I-I heard her saying to Lavender! Ron is- he is officially dating Parvarti! Sob!" Without asking for permission, she hopped onto Tanya's bed and wept on the girl's shoulder.
"Ahhh! I am not getting any sleep, am I?"
Nearly dawn broke before Tanya was granted rest, causing her to oversleep and miss breakfast. And as lunchtime arrived, she found herself struggling to stay awake.
"PROFESSOR! PLEASE! GIVE ME MORE OF THAT POTION!"
"What the-" She witnessed the amusing sight of a begging Ron holding onto professor Snape's leg.
"Let me go you stupid useless brat!" The teacher tried to no avail to get rid of him yet the boy held desperately.
"You had one job! All you had to do was ensure she had a great night- oh?" The professor noticed Tanya and made his way over to her (all the while dragging Ron together).
"Good day, Tanya."
"Humpf!" She immediately turned her face away in a clear gesture of contempt.
"You were absent during breakfast and didn't join me for lunch… Is it possible I may have, in some manner, displeased you?"
"'In some manner'?! You are joking, right?!" She didn't need to express her displeasure, her glare spoke volumes.
Judging by the desolation in his expression, it was evident he had understood the message. With a heavy heart, he left.
"Wait professor- Tanya! Ask him to make more of that brilliant potion! I beg you!" Ron turned his pleading to her.
"NEVER! You acting all gross for one night is enough!"
"GEH! Come on! Help me out!"
"Aff! Listen, Ron. If I am not mistaken, that must have been a fearlessness draught. A potion which temporarily turns off the fear from your heart."
"I don't care about the details, I just want some more!"
"Bad idea! The effects of the potion increases with each usage! The next time, it could erase completely all your inhibitions! Instead of sweet talking, you could end up outright attacking girls without any regard for the consequences!"
"Then again, if I could defend myself against him even without using my magic, I don't think anyone else would be at risk. Nonetheless…"
"Besides, you don't need it. I heard you got yourself a girlfriend."
"Uhhh… she broke up with me this morning…"
"Eh? Already? You two were together for what? A couple of hours?!"
"Y-you see-"
"The nitwit mixed the twins!" Ron was cut off by an overly gleeful Hermione.
"He began to date Parvarti but thought she was Padma! HAHAHAHAHA!"
"You heartless monster! Sob!" In response to Hermione's hysterical laugh, Ron had tears welling up at the corners of his eyes.
He went on to describe how he awoke, feeling back to his old self, and realizing Tanya had been absolutely correct when she mentioned he'd been charmed.
"I didn't want to go back to the old me! So, I reckoned if I pretended to be confident…"
"Let me guess, you saw Padma and recklessly tried to kiss her good-morning."
"Yeah, and he got slapped by both sisters." Harry added, confirming Tanya's supposition.
"Sob! Why can't I have a girlfriend too…?"
"A girlfriend or a full harem? This is what you get for acting like such a ladies' man!" Chuckles still escaping her, Hermione remarked.
"Grrr! At least I went to the ball! While you spent the whole night lounging in your pajamas, doing nothing lying in bed!"
"For your information, I went to the ball too!"
"Pff! And where were you? Under the tables?"
"How dare you! Harry, tell him! You saw me with Viktor Krum!"
"Eh? I saw?" Harry didn't seem to recall.
"Sorry, I was too focused on Tanya and on the boys keeping her from me- Ah!" He snapped his fingers.
"I remember Krum's partner!"
"Good! Tell them I-"
"Hermione, you weren't with Krum! He was with a very pretty girl (not as much as Tanya, of course!). Her hair was sleek, not bushy, and her teeth weren't, err, so big."
"What?! I merely used a bit of Sleekeazy's Hair Potion! And madam Pomfrey adjusted the size of my teeth after the curse from Malfoy. See?" She opened her mouth to give a better view and true to her word, they were smaller.
"If this hair potion is so good, why not wear it all the time?"
"Because it would be too much of a bother to use everyday!"
Hermione appeared exasperated as, for all her explanations, skepticism hung in the air.
"Tanya! Tell me you believe in me!"
"I only remember seeing you in pajamas in our room…"
"See? Exactly as I said!" Ron's voice rang out in triumph.
Tanya would regret not agreeing with Hermione as this would be a subject of constant discussion between her and Ron over the next few days.
"Everyone, here is my proof!" She said while holding the latest edition of Witch Weekly.
"This is me and Krum!" Tanya, Harry and Ron looked at one of the pictures. On it, there was Krum dancing with his partner.
The longer they stared, the more convinced they became.
"No."
"Definitely not you."
"Have some shame, you liar!"
"WHAT?! But this is me! Right here…" And she went on and on…
"Can't she bother us with the usual stuff about elvish rights?!"
"Mind if I sit next to you, professor?" After days of silence, Tanya finally spoke a word to Severus Snape.
"Ah?! O-of course! Please, make yourself comfortable!"
"Don't mistake my intentions, I'm here solely because I need a break from Ron and Hermione's incessant arguing."
Tanya sat down and started eating without any further conversation. The professor kept staring at her, supposedly, trying to decide what to say.
"I… I was merely trying to protect you."
"Protect me?! How?! By pushing me to Ron?!" At this she turned a full glare at him.
"I am terribly sorry!"
"At the very least, he's feeling remorse-"
"When I attempted to persuade Draco into inviting you to the ball, you had both already made your selections. What a wasted opportunity!"
"This is what he is regretting?!"
"That is not the point! A slight mistake with the dosage and Ron could have turned into an uncontrollable beast!"
"I possess great confidence in my ability to handle potions! Besides, should anything happen, Weasley is so weak you could handle him."
"You couldn't be sure of that!"
"Yes, I was! I know as long as it's not Potter, you can handle anyone pretty well!"
"Eh? He is aware ofmy weakness?!"
"Sometimes, I am led to believe I am cursed! All those dear to me seem to have a penchant for falling into the hands of a Potter!"
"So, this is what he actually means."
"Or perhaps, you and Lily are the accursed ones? To be drawn to the most troublesome of individuals? The one certain to usher you toward a premature demise!"
"Please, aren't you overreacting?" In response, he stared hard at her.
"One single year! It was all it took for you to end in a bed fighting for your life! The same followed in the subsequent year; the dementors in the next and now you are in a deadly tournament!"
"… fine, you have a point."
"And somehow, I can't shake this dreadful sense the worst is yet to unfold."
"P-please, don't say that! It may attract bad luck!"
"The Potters are the very definition of bad luck! And you know it! Or else, you wouldn't feel hesitant about the boy!"
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"I have seen the hints. I can tell, deep inside, you harbor reservations about your feelings for him!"
"T-the heck you are saying? Me and Harry are doing g-great!"
"That being the case, elucidate this: why I've never once heard you declare your love for him?!"
Tanya was surprised. Leave it to Severus Snape to be the only one with the wit to discern the truth.
Still, no matter the scenario, it could severely disrupt her plans if her love for Harry was brought into question.
With unwavering determination, Tanya rose from her seat, fully resigned to do what needed to be done.
"Sir, hear this and hear well…" She inhaled deeply.
"This is going to be excruciatingly embarrassing…!"
"HARRY POTTER IS THE PERSON I LOVE THE MOST IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!"
Snape fixed her with wide-eyed scrutiny, likely searching for the hesitation he had spoken of. Nevertheless, Tanya held her position firmly.
At last, he let out an exasperated sigh of defeat.
"Satisfied?"
"… yes."
"Promise me you won't meddle with our relationship ever again! No more fearlessness draughts, alright?"
"… alright. Forgive me for acting contrary to your desires. I dared to hope you might find happiness with another."
"Then, it was worth throwing my pride away!"
"Oh, how could I have been so oblivious? You had to shout out to the entire hall for me to grasp it at last."
"Don't be too hard- wait, what…?" In that instant Tanya remembered she was in the Great Hall during one of its busiest hours of the day.
She was opportunely frozen in place, for she was definitely going to wait until the hall was vacant before she dared to turn her face once more…
"Tanya!"
"Uhh…" Of course, Harry Potter had to be the first to confront her…
"H-Harry, a-about what I said- well…"
"Take a look at this!" Sounding alarmed, he thrust a newspaper in her direction, its headline reading: 'DUMBLEDORE'S GIANT MISTAKE'.
As it was expected, Hagrid didn't appear in class. Instead, they were greeted by Professor Grubbly-Plank as the substitute teacher.
"I don't get it! How did that horrible Skeeter woman find out?"
"You don't reckon she can see people's magic like Tanya and Harry, do you?"
"Who cares about all that?! What if Hagrid believes this nonsense about us hating him?!"
Tanya observed uninterested as Harry and his friends worried about the recently revealed to be a part-giant.
"I almost feel gratitude for Skeeter as this incident shifted people's attention away from my own awkward moment." Besides, she believed it was for the best if Hagrid left for good.
"We can't have a teacher who lacks so much common sense! Indeed, that woman did us a favor."
"Ah! Tanya, we forgot to ask how you are feeling."
"Yeah, the gossip about you was nasty too."
"She said something about me?!" Tanya took the Daily Prophet back.
'In other news, the audacious Tanya Degurechaff tempted Harry Potter to abandon the ball and join her in the privacy of a broom closet. This peculiar occurrence unfolded on the heels of Miss Degurechaff's dazzling dance with a considerable fraction of the ball's male attendees. One cannot help but ponder the motives behind Degurechaff's actions. Is she, perchance, seeking a particular attribute in her potential suitors? Or could there be a lurking suspicion that the young and naive Harry Potter is ensnared by the siren call of a gold-digging temptress?'
"That- BITCH!" Tanya took back any good words she may have thought.
"Well, at least folks won't be too quick to swallow this load of codswallop after you bellowed your declaration to Harry."
"A declaration? What are you talking about?" It seemed Harry was too busy dealing with Draco Malfoy at the time to hear what she had said.
"You see, Harry…!" Merrily, Hermione told every detail of what he lost. Now, she had to brace herself for Harry's blushing and the longing glances he'd be sending her way all afternoon.
"Grr! Can't the class start- Is that aUNICORN?!"
"… remember, unicorns favor a woman's touch, so, boys, please keep your distance." Tanya was happy to do the opposite of the professor's guidance. While the girls moved closer, she remained with the boys on the paddock fence.
"… I also love you the most!" Of course Harry thought it was for the wrong reason and affectionately embraced her.
"Sorry that you can't see the unicorn because of me."
"No, it's okay. I rather not get too close to them."
"Why?"
"Well, I have this theory. I believe they're attuned to human mana and might even have an affinity for certain patterns in women's auras."
"They can see magic too? And only fancy girl's?" Ron asked.
"Yes, for unicorns, the auras cast by mana signatures are more aesthetically pleasing in females."
"Hum, so we are ugly to their eyes. And what about the legends, the ones which said the maiden has to be pure to touch them?" Harry's question was one Tanya dreaded to answer.
"I-I have another hypothesis, that intercourse doesn't merely involve the exchange of bodily fluids. Essentially, there is also a transfer of mana, a portion of one permanently bonds with the other."
"So, a little shag and the 'ugliness' of the bloke stays with the girl?"
"In simple terms, yes."
They wore pensive expressions as they tried to make sense of her words. Then, both flinched, and she knew they had caught on.
"Wow! What a terrific lesson!" Hermione returned very excitedly.
"I didn't know half the things Professor Grubbly-Plank told us!" It could be seen that despite Hagrid's absence, she was enjoying the class as the new teacher was an exceptionally knowledgeable and didactic person.
"A shame you boys can't get any closer. Tanya, why are you over there, too?"
"Well, I-I… want to stay with Harry, you see."
"Oh, come on! You two can save the flirting for later. Let's get a closer look at the unicorn before the class is over!"
Without awaiting her consent, Hermione attempted to pull her to the other side of the fence.
"Stop! U-unicorns scare the shit out of me, okay?!" Hermione stared agape at Tanya's confession.
"You are afraid of unicorns? Why?!"
"Err, Hermione, have you heard about how unicorns were used in the old days?" Ron interceded on Tanya's behalf.
"You mean that repugnant act of 'testing' witches the night before their weddings?!" There was no necessity to narrate this story, as it was widely recognized.
Basically, the bride was left near a unicorn, and if the creature didn't come to her of its own accord, she was deemed 'impure'.
"… I am impure, Hermione…" Tanya meekly said.
AN: Sorry! I promised the second task (and a death), but I unexpectedly ran out of space.
Sorry it took so long, but the reviews and comments were so few that I was highly unmotivated.
I didn't describe the robes the majority of the characters were wearing in the yule-ball because that was already done in the original book. I only gave a description to Tanya's because they are original works. Oh, And Luna's is the same she wore in Slughorn's party. About Ron's night, I always thought kinda unfair how the yule ball went for him, only bad stuff happens to him. So this time, he was 'king of the prom'!
About the next chapter, I am warning that something may happen that may leave people upset. Especially those that thought my first interlude polemical. Let's say that Harry and Tanya will take another major step in their relationship.
Next chapter: The engagement and… the rise of the master of death! (If I have space left!)