At first we thought it was over.
I had stopped their most brilliant Commander.
The fields where men and women laid dead had flowers growing on them once more.
Our tanks had broken through their defenses in land, sending justice with each boom of our powder.
In the skies our fighters flew through worlds that slowly began rebuilding with the grace they had before.
Swaths of people joined us to push the remains of the attack.
Finally, we began pushing on Covenant worlds, mixed armies flaring a new beacon of liberty, with me in the helm, along with my frenc-... No, sangheili wife.
Loss after loss we inflicted on them.
Our own losses were irreplaceable, but we were getting closer, the steam still pushing us through territory never touched by anything from humanity before.
But for some reason, when they realized they outnumbered humanity 10 to 1 they realized they could just, y'know, counterattack.
Ends up, when you kill people, but they fight back, they can also kill you... That's called philosophy.
Setback, after setback, stronghold after stronghold we lost in grueling battles where the bodies of countless Yanme'e piled up in obelisks to depravity, on spacebattles (and space battles) where their ships collided against ours to capture the loot.
The war had already reached its eighteenth year.
Which meant only one thing.
There was a new generation of taxpayers the UNSC-IRS could use for the war effort. - This time including countless half-breeds products of innumerable trysts with these aliens.
This wave of menpower was able to stop the unrelenting covenant that finally destined more than 1% of its military hornyness into this war.
God might forgive them for sacrificing their wee-wees for the weird alien ladies.
As for me, I did what I could, I was a soldier, not an officer. My duty was on the ground, protecting my fellow soldiers, those who would protect the ones behind us that couldn't lift arms, it was my responsibility to be the shield and sword of humanity and those that now supported it, seeing the beauty past the fact that we were the only species with cocks in this side of the galaxy, otherwise I'd probably be doing boring stuff like die on a ship or playing an RTS game in real life.
Now, what could I do, just keep taking orders? That was never the option, for right now I had the chance. My eyes might be behind a helmet, watching over the infinite void that housed the existence I swore to defend; but my body was ready to spring into action, if needed, to ram this ship against High Charity itself.
For what else was the duty of a protector but t-
"Dear, I'm sorry to interrupt your brooding," - A sweet voice shook the Chief's thoughts as he stared through a viewport, diligently he turned around to face the woman walking to him, her figure changed from when he had met her, for now she had a plumper figure, with a bump noticeable in her armor. - "are you available, dear?" - She asked as she stopped a meter away from him.
She was rubbing her armored belly; because hell if the Covvies had any sense of maternity clothing; her mandibles aligned downwards as her eyes stared with anger, it was 'Sh-lethoa', the emotion equivalent to the human notion of your girlfriend telling you she's not hungry.
The first time he had missed this she had asked him to 'give her deep snuggles' because she was a needy mommy and told he her 'no' because he had "important" things such as preventing the entire genocide of New Detroit IV, again; she'd reacted less than amicably.
One would question why he'd marry the only woman ten lightyears around that was actually capable of lifting him and breaking his spine; but Halsey raised no bitch, so he learned from his mistake after she cracked him like a glowstick and then left him drier than the Aral sea.
This time he took his helmet off, revealing another helmet; which he also took off, and then he ran to her and began kissing her thighs.
Despite not feeling anything since, well, she didn't quite have sensitivity in her armor; she smiled. Then she giggled, her grumpy voice echoing as she quickly ran one hand through the hair of her lover, her claws soon finding his neck to push her into her bosom, or, well, her chestplate.
He purred there like the absolute sigma he was, not because he was fearful of not showing her that he loved her despite the oh-so-heinous fact that she was an alien.
Her other hand joined in the rubbing of his scalp, making sure his every nerve up there was feeling how she devoted herself into learning more about his body. This was, without a doubt, the best way to reassure him of her love now that she'd done everything possible for him to understand that they were made for each other.
Sadly, being the mission-driven man that he was, John quickly stepped out of the lover's embrace to stare up to his wife; because the height difference had only accentuated now that for some God-forsaken reason, she had begun using heels in her armor. - But because you're my reader and I love you I'll tell you that it is because she was jealous of the Jiralhanae women that liked to tease her husband. Sadly, as loyal to the UNSC as they might be, the barbarian covvies don't know what monogamy is.
Then, he gently asked. - "Thel, what do you need help with?"
Of course, again, people like getting called pet names; it shows trust, and that's even truer in romantic relationships; but in a marriage where there's a pregnant woman there?
With a gentle frown she let him know that he had to reformulate.
Halsey's training didn't include anything related to talking to people though, so he just quickly kissed her lower right mandible, which had the same effect, she growled, happy; and then mumbled something about going for a second kid soon.
Maybe he blocked those words from registering, but John just kept staring at her absent-minded, like he didn't know how to tie his shoelaces (He doesn't know).
With a soft humm she kept caressing and then talked, her grave voice contrasting with how sweet she was trying to be. - "Oh dear, may you hear your dear spouse when she commands you to cress her legs thoroughly?"
Legs, caress, dear. - Got it.
Wait... Remember what Preston Cole said!
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Fucking aliens you all can suck my fat human cock, eat shit and die.
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Yes, the hero of humanity was right, his wisdom is still present despite all those 2 years since he last decided to stop scratching his balls and kill some covvies.
And no, you dumb reader, he wasn't about to ask for a blowjob, if you've gotta ask your partner for that, or she/him has to ask you for that, there's something wrong there.
No, our dear Golden Retriever instead asked the real questions. - "Aren't we supposed to be killing the prophets, Thel?"
This time, she placed one of her fingers on his lips and corrected him. - "Not Thel, call me love."
John tilted his head to the side and arched his eyebrows. - "I thought your name was Thel'Vadamee, not love."
This of course brought an arrow to pierce one of her hearts.
"In any case, love, we really do need to kill the Prophets, I don't want no alien religious fanatic being anywhere near my kids."
Thel let out a low grumble.
"Well, besides you."
She continued grumbling.
"And R'tas."
Ghrmnnn.
"Aaaaand the rest of your keep, sorry dear."
There, another of her hearts got pierced.
Maybe she was being a little too greedy.
"I cede you that, sweet chevalier." - This time John frowned at the french-sounding word. - "Now, about that, I might or might've not led us to High Charity precisely for that reason."
"You what?"
He was absolutely awestruck, fuckfaced, surprised and dumb.
Then, being held so tightly by his wife, she slowly turned him round to glance at the viewport in his left, where, well, Thel's navy group was breaking through the line of High Charity and disabling everything that dared get near their core assault corps to invade the holy capital.
"Theeeeel! Why didn't you tell me!?" - He protested, almost insulted by this.
"I have priorities, dear, what do you think is more important, making sure the mother of your children is in perfect state," - She began, placing a hand on her chestplate, sounding a bit condescending. - "or killing the heads of the covenant?"
"Well, if you put it like that..." - He pondered for some seconds, sadly he wasn't in the permanent pst-nut clarity state brought to him by his lust to kill all aliens; so he wasn't quite thinking all that well.
While in the background a longsword swept through the void to attack the enemies of mankind; the Supreme Commander smiled, and quickly reeled him to the inns of the ship.
Just give them forty... Four hours and they'd topple the head of the Covenant, and free them all from... From being horny? I don't know, civil wars are always confusing.
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AN:
I'm still heavy with tests, why did fucking no one tell me that studying law was gonna be so time taxing.
Anyways, I wrote this because I needed to free up some steam and this was the story that really didn't have a 'Too serious' line to follow. I tried keeping silly this time. - And yes, I do write from time to time about the other stories, all of them, yes, the Warhammer one, the main Halo-ME one, the Pokemon one, and my stories about furries getting dicked down.
I love you guys.
And remember, if you leave your reviews I'll kiss you. - But if you contact me on discord a Simellamo, I'll let you collect the kiss.