Joanne slowly awakened the next morning to the sound of rain hitting the window. It seemed as good a day as any to stay in bed just a little while longer.

She sighed and closed her eyes against the pounding in her head. That second glass of wine had been a bad idea, she should have known that. She was certainly going to pay for it today.

If Roy were here…well, Joanne supposed that didn't matter now. The thought did nothing to improve her mood.

She thought she heard noises outside her door, and it took a moment for the realization to dawn on her. Johnny had stayed last night, she remembered that now.

She hadn't realized how quiet it would be without the kids here, how lonely it would be. Even though Johnny had been out on the couch, somehow just knowing he was here was a comfort.

Eventually, Joanne decided that staying in bed wasn't helping, and that perhaps she shouldn't leave Johnny to his own devices. She slowly sat up and threw back the covers, wincing as her head throbbed.

Someday she would learn that she couldn't handle red wine, as much as she enjoyed it.

Johnny was nowhere in sight when Joanne came out of the bedroom, though the smell of fresh coffee lingered in the air. That would certainly help this headache of hers abate, along with some aspirin.

As she made her way to the kitchen, she noticed Johnny out on the patio, pacing back and forth, pausing occasionally to take a drag off his cigarette and a drink from the cup he held in his other hand. He seemed deep in thought, and Joanne hated to disturb him.

Perhaps he was thinking about the previous night, how things had unfolded. Joanne couldn't help her own thoughts. Things were a bit fuzzy, clouded by the wine and now her headache, but Joanne knew she couldn't entirely blame the wine.

After all, Johnny had kissed her first, hadn't he? And she hadn't turned him away. If Johnny hadn't put a stop to it…

Joanne sighed as she went into the kitchen, finding a large coffee mug and filling it with coffee before reaching for the bottle of aspirin. She popped two into her mouth and took a drink of coffee to wash them down.

They never seemed to go down easy, and this time was no exception. Joanne coughed and took another long drink of coffee, triggering another coughing fit that led to coffee spraying everywhere.

"Whoa, whoa." Johnny was suddenly right beside her, his hand between her shoulder blades as she attempted to regain her composure. "You okay?"

"Fine." Joanne managed to choke out. "Aspirin went the wrong way."

Johnny continued to rub between her shoulder blades in small, slow circles. Finally, Joanne could take a full breath without coughing. "I'm fine, really."

"Okay." Johnny squeezed her shoulder before moving toward the stove, pouring himself another cup of coffee. "Suppose I could start some more coffee. You want some?"

Joanne's stomach wasn't handling the combination of coffee and aspirin very well at the moment. "No, I think one cup will be plenty for me. You go right ahead."

Johnny frowned at her. "Are you sure you're okay? You want something to eat? I mean, not that I'm a great cook or anything, but maybe some eggs and toast or something?"

"Johnny, that's not necessary." Joanne assured him. "I can do it."

Johnny's frown relaxed into that familiar half-smile. "I know Roy gives…used to give me hell for my, uh, lack of skills. Think I can manage this, though. I promise not to burn down your kitchen."

Joanne couldn't help smiling at that. How many times had Johnny and Roy been in this kitchen on a weekend morning, with Roy making pancakes while Johnny talked his ear off, the kids running around underfoot?

It was funny how Johnny had become such an integral part of their family. Joanne couldn't imagine it any other way now.

"Could even make some pancakes." Johnny's voice broke into her thoughts. "Doubt I could do them as well as Roy did, but…"

"How do you do that?" Joanne asked, utterly surprised at the way Johnny seemed to read her thoughts.

Johnny looked baffled. "Do what?"

"Read my mind, that's what." Joanne answered a little more sharply than she intended. "I was just thinking…oh, never mind."

Johnny's expression turned somber. "Wasn't reading your mind. Just, you know, thinking. Remembering."

His voice went soft at the end, and Joanne instinctively moved toward him, placing a hand on his back and rubbing lightly.

He almost immediately turned toward her, pulling her in close and kissing the top of her head. "Ah hell, Jo."

The roughness in his voice caught Joanne a little off guard, and she wrapped her arms around him in response, resting her head on his chest. She could feel and hear the hitch in his breath, hear him swallow hard.

If only he could just let go and let it all out. Joanne certainly wouldn't think any less of him for it. She thought she had made it perfectly clear that he could lean on her as much as she had been leaning on him.

Finally, he let out a sigh and pulled back slightly, his hands drifting from her back to her waist, and Joanne looked up at him. Johnny's face wore a distressed expression, and he rubbed briefly at his eyes before blinking and shaking his head. "Sorry."

"For what?"

Johnny huffed in exasperation. "I don't know. Everything. I'm trying to make your life easier, and all I'm doing is making it harder."

"You're not." Joanne assured him firmly, reaching up to stroke his cheek with her thumb. She wasn't the least bit surprised when it came away damp.

"I am." Johnny responded fiercely. "Hell, probably making things harder for me, too."

Joanne was having a bit of trouble following Johnny's train of thought. "How so?"

"Forget it, Jo." Johnny answered roughly and started to turn away.

"Johnny." Joanne caught Johnny's hand before he was able to get too far.

Johnny paused, turning back toward Joanne, his fingers curling around her hand and gripping it tightly. He tilted his head, his eyes seeming to search for something, his brows knitted in that worried frown.

Was he going to kiss her again? Joanne was alternately worried and thrilled at the thought. That was immediately followed by a rush of guilt.

She shouldn't want this. It wasn't as if anything had been lacking in her marriage, exactly, no more than in most marriages, Joanne imagined.

But there was something about Johnny that drew her in and had her thinking of him in a way she most certainly hadn't before.

Before she could get much further in that line of thinking, she felt Johnny's hand curl around the back of her neck and his lips touch hers. The move sparked all those feelings again, that odd mixture of attraction and desire and the guilt that came in right behind it.

As that kiss deepened, Joanne found it surprisingly easy to push the guilt aside and simply surrender to that desire, to allow herself to get swept up in the moment. And perhaps this time, Johnny wouldn't stop.

At some point, Johnny had let go of her hand, and his hand was now drifting along her hip and coming to rest on the small of her back. Joanne almost automatically slid her hands around Johnny to do the same, drawing even closer to him.

He let out a rough sigh at the move, breaking off the kiss and wrapping his arms around her before lightly kissing her temple. "I don't wanna stop this time."

Joanne could almost hear the unspoken 'but' that was sure to follow, and she wasn't sure if she was relieved or disappointed.

Johnny pulled back slightly to look down at her, that worried frown on his face once again. "But I don't wanna screw this up, either. I mean, we're all kinda going through a lot right now, right? And if we go rushing into something and I screw it up…well, I'm not gonna be able to come around anymore. And how the hell are you gonna explain that to the kids? They can't just have people bailing out on them."

Johnny had clearly put a lot of thought into this, and Joanne had to admit it seemed a little strange that he was the one trying to be logical about the situation.

She also had to admit, once again, that he had a point. Rushing into something neither one of them was ready for was bound to have disastrous consequences.

However, she would find his logic a lot easier to accept if he would quit starting things he seemed to have no intention of finishing.

She took in a deep breath and exhaled, meeting Johnny's worried expression with what she hoped was a reassuring smile. He seemed to relax a little, the frown smoothing out into a more thoughtful expression. "I care about you guys an awful lot. I don't wanna break your heart, or theirs."

"And what makes you so sure that you would?" Joanne couldn't help challenging him.

Johnny shrugged. "Just a feeling I have. I just don't wanna take the chance, you know?"

With that he pulled her in close with a sigh, hugging her tightly. It reminded Joanne of that first terrible night, when he had held her so close as she sobbed uncontrollably, her heart shattered by the sudden loss of the man she had loved so much.

She had clung to Johnny tightly ever since. Perhaps she shouldn't.

But he was the one that had offered himself time and time again, whether it was a hug or a kind word or simply showing up for one of the kids' games. He was just always there. No wonder they were so drawn to each other now.

"Could still make some food if you're still interested." Johnny offered quietly.

Joanne was starting to feel a bit better, physically, at least. "I'll take you up on that. No need for pancakes."

Johnny chuckled at that, giving her one more quick squeeze before letting her go and turning toward the refrigerator. Soon, Johnny had the stove fired up, another pot of coffee going on one burner while he stirred a pan of eggs on another.

Joanne couldn't help taking him in. Never mind that he was still in last night's clothes, barefoot, his dress shirt open with the V-neck shirt underneath, his hair a tousled mess. He was still attractive, made more so as he worked at the stove.

He glanced her way, that half-smile once again making an appearance. "Won't be but a few minutes here." He told her.

Joanne nodded, hoping he hadn't noticed her checking him out. "I'll be right back, then."

She made her way to the living room to gather the bedding from the couch, only to find it all taken care of, only the blanket folded up at one end of the couch, the pillow on top. That must have been the noise she had heard in the hallway earlier this morning. Yet another thoughtful gesture in a long line of them lately.

After returning the pillow and blanket to the linen closet, she returned to the kitchen to find Johnny dishing up eggs and buttering toast. "Hey, Jo. Didn't know if you wanted grape or strawberry, so I got both out. You want some more coffee?"

"Yes, please."

Johnny filled both of their cups as Joanne spread strawberry jam on her toast, and they both took a seat at the dining room table. Joanne took a few bites of eggs, along with the toast. "Johnny, these are really good."

He shrugged, though he smiled slightly. "I'm not completely incompetent in the kitchen. Simple stuff like this isn't a problem. It's all that complicated stuff I don't have the patience for."

They settled into more casual conversation after that until they were done eating, and Joanne gathered up the dishes to take them to the kitchen.

"Suppose I'd better take off." Johnny mentioned as he finished his coffee and set the cup on the counter. "Figure you might want a little time to yourself before the kids come home."

Joanne wasn't so sure she wanted that, but at the same time, it was probably better that Johnny went on his way. She set the dishes in the sink and turned to hug Johnny. "Thank you."

Johnny seemed baffled. "For what?"

"Oh, you know, for everything." Joanne replied with a lightness she didn't necessarily feel. "You've been a good friend to me, and I'm grateful."

Johnny didn't answer right away, his only response a soft sigh as he embraced her tightly. "Yeah, you too."

It felt as if Johnny was going to hold on to her forever before he finally gave her one last squeeze and let her go, that slight half-smile on his face.

He headed back out toward the living room, Joanne following behind, and started to put himself back together before grabbing his jacket and tie from the hook. "Okay, I'm really leaving this time." He told her. "I'll meet you for Chris's next ball game. You want me to just meet you at the field?"

"Of course, that's fine." Joanne couldn't quite believe that they were having such a normal conversation after how the previous night and this morning had gone.

Johnny nodded, looking as if he wanted to say something more. Instead, he stepped toward her, his hand reaching up to cup her face, his thumb brushing across her cheekbone.

He paused for a long moment before finally leaning in to lightly kiss her forehead, letting his hand drift away as he stepped back. "See you then, Jo."

With that he was out the door, and Joanne closed it behind him before turning to lean against it with a long sigh. Her emotions were so jumbled up she had no idea what to think.

And if her emotions had her tied in knots, she could only imagine how Johnny felt. Joanne only hoped that they would be able to get it all figured out before they somehow damaged their friendship.